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day_n friday_n tuesday_n wednesday_n 5,860 5 12.5459 5 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A43170 Nugæ venales, or, Complaisant companion being new jests, domestick and forreign, bulls, rhodomontados, pleasant novels and miscellanies. Head, Richard, 1637?-1686? 1675 (1675) Wing H1266; ESTC R30764 118,870 333

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having drunk small Beer that it was dead it is very likely said another for it was very weak when I was here last WHat a sad condition am I in said a fellow in the Stocks I Can see over the wood under the wood and through the wood but can't get out of the Wood. ONe running into a Neighbours house for a little hot water for one that was ready to sound alas said the other I wish you had com a little sooner For I ju●t now threw away a whole Kittle full A Scriveners man reading a Bill of Sale to his Master according to forme I do demise grant and to farme let and sell all my Lands but on sudden the Cough took him that at present he could not read a word more at which his Master being angry bid him read on with a Pox at which words he went on To you your Heirs and their Heirs for ever AN ancient Gentlewoman had a Nephew a Scholar in Katherin-Hall in Cambridge and meeting one day his Tutor she askt him how her Nephew behaved himself truly Madam said he he is a great student and holds close to Katherin-Hall I vow said she I feared as much For the boy was ever given to wenches from his Infancy ONe Phanatick said to another that he hoped God would not lay it to his charge that he had fasted one day last Lent how said the other I hope it was not on good-Good-Friday as they call it no said the other but it was on ash-Ash-Wednesday as they call it why that 's as bad said the other But hear the truth Brother I did eat so much on Shrove Tuesday As they call it that I could not eat a bit the day after as they call it A Seaman unaccustomed to ride was mounted on a curvetting horse which reard a loft hey day quoth he I never expected to have met with Billows here to be thus tost on land before A Fat man riding on a lean Horse was askt why he was so fat and his Horse so leane said he I look to my self but my man to my Horse A foolish wench meerly out of revenge complained to a Justice that such a man would have ravisht her what did he doe says he he tied my hands so fast I could not stirr them and what else Why Sr. said she He would have tied my legs too but I had the wit to keep them far enough a sunder A Man having a candle in his hand said by this light wife I dreamed last night thou madest me a Cuckold she having a piece of bread in her hand said by this bread Husband but I did not Eat the bread then says he nay sayes she eat you the candle for you swore first A Gentleman riding near the Forrest of Which-wood in Oxford-shire askt a fellow what that wood was cal'd he said Whichwood Sir Why that Wood said the Gentleman Which-wood Sir Why that Wood I tell thee he still said Which-wood I think said the Gentleman thou art as senseless as the Wood that grows there it may be so replyed the other But you know not Which-wood ONe Gentleman desired another to drink more then he could bare a●d therefore he refused the other swore if he did not drink off that glass he would run him through nay rather then that said the other I will run my self through and pledge you afterwards and so running through the door down stairs left the other to pay the reckoning A Man walking with a Pike-staff in his hand it chanced that a Dog came running at him open mouth'd hereupon he thrust the sharp end of the Pike down his throat and killed him the Dogs Master askt the fellow why he did not save his Dog by striking him with the blunt end of the staff So I would said he if he had run at me with his tail ONe askt a Painter how he could draw such excellent Pictures and yet get such ugly children it is said he Because I make the one in the night and the other in the day ONe asked his friend why he being so proper a man would marry a woman of so small a stature O friend said he of all evils the least is to be chosen A Gentleman walking early in the morning met his friend coming from his Mistress whose name was Field Sr. said he how came you in this wet pickle In troth Sr. I am thus bedewed by coming over yonder Field nay said the other I rather believe it was by lying all night in yonder Field A Gentleman that was a great Tavern hunter askt his friend to go with him and drink a glass of wine the other refused saying his face was red enough already and drinking wine would make it worse a pox on that face quoth the other that makes the whole body fare the worse Another said that was a very great drinker when he dyed he would leave fifty pound to be drank in wine in manner and form following at these Taverns ten pound at the Wonder in Ludgate-street for honest men and no Brewers ten pound at the Castle for Military men ten pound at the Miter for Clergy men ten pound at the Horne Tavern for Citizens and ten pound at the Devil Tavern for Lawyers ONe haveing two sons one legitimate and the other illegitimate he made the Bastard his Heir the Father dying the two sons falling out the one twitted the other that he came in at a window by stealth True said he I did but it was to keep you out of the house Another Bastard told his friend that he was as much beholding to such a man as to his own Father yes said he But I believe you are more beholding to your Mother to chuse you such a Father then to your Father to chuse you such a Mother A Gamester borowed five pound of a Gentleman and lost it at play thereupon he sent to borrow five pound more by this token that he owed him already five pound Pray said the Gentleman Bid your Master send me the token and I 'le send him the five pound A Gallant standing in a maze a Lady askt him what he was thinking on he said of no think what do you think on said she when you think on nothing faith sayes he then I think on you and the inconstancy of your Sex A Gentleman having been abroad in the fields came hungry home and call'd for his dinner Sir said his man it is early day 〈◊〉 the clock having but just now struck ten Pish sayes he don't tell me of ten by the clock when it hath struck Twelve by my stomack SOme Gentlemen in a Tavern wanting attendance one took the pint pot and threw it down stairs presently up came a quart then he flung the quart down and up came a pottle is it so said the Gentleman then I will have one throw more and so flung the Drawer down stairs saying I will see whether thou wilt come up double too A Handsome Wench and