Selected quad for the lemma: day_n
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Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
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A65075
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The relapse, or, Virtue in danger being the sequel of The fool in fashion : a comedy acted at the Theatre-Royal in Drury-Lane.
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Vanbrugh, John, Sir, 1664-1726.
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1697
(1697)
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Wing V57; ESTC R23576
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72,022
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114
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Tunbelly pleases Y. Fas. But will you do me the favour Sir to know whethe Sir Tunbelly pleases or not Ser. Why look you do you see with good words much may be done Ralph go thy weas and ask Sir Tunbelly if he pleases to be waited upon And do'st hear Call to Nurse that she may lock up Miss Hoyden before the Geats open Y. Fas. D' ye hear that Lory Lo. Ay Sir I 'm afraid we shall find a difficult Job on 't Pray Heaven that Old Rogue Coupler han't sent us to fetch Milk out of the Gunroom Y. Fas. I 'll warrant thee all will go well See the Door opens Enter Sir Tunbelly with his Servants Arm'd with Guns Clubs Pitchforks Sythes c. Lo. running behind his Master O Lord O Lord O Lord We are both dead Men. Y. Fas. Take heed Fool thy Fear will ruine us Lo. My Fear Sir 'Sdeath Sir I fear nothing Aside Wou'd I were well up to the Chin in a Horse-Pond Sir Tun. Who is it here has any business with me Y. Fas. Sir 't is I if your Name be Sir Tunbelly Clumsey Sir Tun. Sir my Name is Sir Tunbelly Clumsey whither you have any business with me or not So you see I am not asham'd of my Name nor my Face neither Y. Fas. Sir you have no Cause that I know of Sir Tun. Sir if you have no cause neither I desire to know who you are for till I know your Name I shall not ask you to come into my House and when I know your Name 't is six to four I don't ask you neither Y. Fas. giving him a Letter Sir I hope you 'll find this Letter an Authentick Passport Sir Tun. Cod's my Life I ask your Lordship's Pardon ten Thousand times To his Servants Here run in a-doors quickly Get a Scotch Coal Fire in the great Parlour set all the Turkey-work Chairs in their places get the great Brass Candlesticks out and be sure stick the Sockets full of Laurel run Turning to Y. Fas. My Lord I ask your Lordship's pardon To other Servants And do you hear run away to Nurse bid her let Miss Hoyden loose again and if it was not shifting-day let her put on a clean Tucker quick Exeunt Servants confusedly To Y. Fas. I hope your Honour will excuse the disorder of my Family we are not us'd to receive Men of your Lordship's great Quality every day pray where are your Coaches and Servants my Lord Y. Fas. Sir that I might give you and your fair Daughter a proof how impatient I am to be nearer a kin to you I left my Equipage to follow me and came away Post with only one Servant Sir Tun. Your Lordship does me too much honour it was exposing your Person to too much Fatigue and Danger I protest it was but my Daughter shall endeavour to make you what amends she can and tho' I say it that shou'd not say it Hoyden has Charms Y. Fas. Sir I am not a stranger to them tho' I am to her Common Fame has done her Justice Sir Tun. My Lord I am Common Fame's very grateful humble Servant My Lord my Girl 's young Hoyden is young my Lord but this I must say for her what she wants in Art she has by Nature what she wants in Experience she has in Breeding and what 's wanting in her Age is made good in her Constitution So pray my Lord walk in pray my Lord walk in Y. Fas. Sir I wait upon you Exeunt Miss Hoyden Sola Sure never no body was us'd as I am I know well enough what other Girls do for all they think to make a Fool of me It 's well I have a Husband a coming or I cod I 'de Marry the Baker I wou'd so No body can knock at the gate but presently I must be lockt up and here 's the young Greyhound Bitch can run loose about the house all day long she can 't is very well Nurse without opening the Door Miss Hoyden Miss Miss Miss Miss Hoyden Enter Nurse Miss Well what do you make such a noise for ha What do you din a Bodies Ears for Can 't one be at quiet for you Nurse What do I din your Ears for here 's one come will din your Ears for you Miss What care I who 's come I care not a Fig who comes nor who goes as long as I must be lock'd up like the Ale-Cellar Nurse That Miss is for fear you shou'd be drank before you are Ripe Miss O don't you trouble your head about that I 'm as Ripe as you tho' not so Mellow Nurse Very well now have I a good mind to lock you up again and not let you see my Lord to Night Miss My Lord Why is my Husband come Nurse Yes marry is he and a goodly Person too Miss hugging Nurse O my dear Nurse forgive me this once and I 'll never misuse you again no if I do you shall give me three thumps on the Back and a great pinch by the Cheek Nurse Ah the poor thing see how it melts it 's as full of good Nature as an Egg 's full of Meat Miss But my dear Nurse don't lie now is he come by your troth Nurse Yes by my truly is he Miss O Lord I 'll go put on my Lac'd Smock tho' I 'm whipt 'till the blood run down my heels for 't Exit running Nurse Eh the Lord succour thee how thou art delighted Exit after her Enter Sir Tunbelly and Young Fashion A Servant with Wine Sir Tun. My Lord I am proud of the honour to see your Lordship within my Doors and I humbly crave leave to bid you wellcome in a Cup of Sack Wine Y. Fas. Sir to your Daughters health Drinks Sir Tun. Ah poor Girl she 'll be scar'd out of her wits on her Wedding Night for honestly speaking she does not know a Man from a Woman but by his Beard and his Britches Y. Fas. Sir I don't doubt but she has a Virtuous Education which with the rest of her Merit makes me long to see her mine I wish you wou'd dispence with the Canonical hour and let it be this very Night Sir Tun O not so soon neither that 's shooting my Girl before you bid her stand No give her fair warning we 'll Sign and Seal to Night if you please and this Day seven-seven-night let the Jade look to her Quarters Y. Fas. This Day Sennight Why what do you take me for a Ghost Sir ' Slife Sir I 'm made of Flesh and Blood and Bones and Sinews and can no more live a week without your Daughter Than I can live a Month with her Aside Sir Tun. Oh I 'll warrant you my Hero young Men are hot I know but they don't boyl over at that rate neither besides my Wenches Wedding Gown is not come home yet Y. Fas. O no matter Sir I 'll take her in her shift Aside A Pox of this Old Fellow he 'll delay the business 'till my
time in that Far Example Madam my Life My Life Madam is a perpetual Stream of Pleasure that glides through such a Variety of Entertainments I believe the wisest of our Ancestors never had the least Conception of any of ' em I rise Madam about Ten a-Clock I don't rise sooner because 't is the worst thing in the World for the Complexion nat that I pretend to be a Beau But a Man must endeavour to look wholesome lest he make so nauseous a Figure in the Side-Bax the Ladies shou'd be compell'd to turn their Eyes upon the Play So at Ten a-Clack I say I rise Naw if I find 't is a good day I resalve to take a turn in the Park and see the Fine Women So huddle on my Cloaths and get drest by One. If it be nasty Weather I take a turn in the Chocolate-hause where as you walk Madam you have the prettiest Prospect in the World you have Looking-glasses all round you But I 'm afraid I tire the Company Ber. Not at all Pray go on L. Fop. Why then Ladies from thence I go to Dinner at Lacket's where you are so nicely and delicately serv'd that stap my Vitals they shall compose you a Dish no bigger than a Saucer shall come to Fifty shillings Between eating my Dinner and washing my Mauth Ladies I spend my time 'till I go to the Play where 'till Nine a-Clack I entertain my self with looking upon the Company and usually dispose of One hour more in leading 'em aut So there 's Twelve of the Four and twenty pretty well over The other Twelve Madam are dispos'd of in Two Articles In the first Four I toast my self drunk and in t'other Eight I sleep my self sober again Thus Ladies you see my Life is an eternal raund O of Delights Lov. 'T is a heavenly one indeed Aman. But I thought my Lord you Beaux spent a great deal of your time in Intrigues You have given us no Account of them yet L. Fop. aside Soh she wou'd enquire into my Amours That 's jealousie she begins to be in Love with me To Aman. Why Madam as to time for my Intrigues I usually make Detachments of it from my other Pleasures according to the Exigency Far your Ladyship may please to take notice that those who intrigue with Women of Quality have rarely occasion far above half an hour at a time People of that Rank being under those Decorums they can seldom give you a langer View than will just serve to shoot 'em flying So that the Course of my other Pleasures is not very much interrupted by my Amours Lov. But your Lordship is now become a Pillar of the State You must attend the weighty Affairs of the Nation L. Fop. Sir as to weighty Affairs I leave them to weighty Heads I never intend mine shall be a Burthen to my Body Lov. O but you 'll find the House will expect your Attendance L. Fop. Sir you 'll find the House will Compound for my Appearance Lov. But your Friends will take it ill if you don't attend their particular Causes L. Fop. Not Sir if I come time enough to give 'em my particular Vote Ber. But pray my Lord how do you dispose of your self on Sundays for that methinks is a day shou'd hang wretchedly upon your hands L. Fop. Why Faith Madam Sunday is a vile Day I must confess I intend to move for leave to bring in a Bill That the Players may Work upon it as well as the Hackney-Coaches Tho' this I must say for the Government it leaves us the Churches to entertain us But then again they begin so abominable early a Man must rise by Candle-light to get drest by the Psalm Ber. Pray which Church does your Lordship most oblige with your Presence L. Fop. Oh Saint Iames's Madam There 's much the best Company Aman. Is there good Preaching too L. Fop. Why Faith Madam I can't tell A Man must have very little to do there that can give an account of the Sermon Ber. You can give us an account of the Ladies at least L. Fop. Or I deserve to be Excommunicated There is my Lady Tattle my Lady Prate my Lady Titter my Lady Leer my Lady Giggle and my Lady Grin These sit in the Front of the Boxes and all Church time are the prettiest Company in the the World Stap my Vitals To Aman. Mayn't we hope for the Honour to see your Ladyship added to our Society Madam Aman. Alas my Lord I am the worst Company in the World at Church I 'm apt to mind the Prayers or the Sermon or L. Fop. One is indeed strangely apt at Church to mind what one should not do But I hope Madam at one time or other I shall have the Honour to lead your Ladyship to your Coach there Aside Methinks she seems strangely pleas'd with every thing I say to her 'T is a vast pleasure to receive encouragement from a Woman before her Husband's Face I have a good mind to pursue my Conquest and speak the thing plainly to her at once I gad I 'll do 't and that in so Cavallier a manner she shall be surpris'd at it Ladies I 'll take my leave I 'm afraid I begin to grow troublesome with the length of my Visit. Aman. Your Lordship 's too entertaining to grow troublesome any where L. F. aside That now was as much as if she had said Pray lye with me I 'll let her see I 'm quick of Apprehension To Aman. O Lard Madam I had like to have forgot a Secret I must needs tell your Ladyship To Lov. Ned you must not be so Jealous now as to listen Lov. Not I my Lord I am too fashionable a Husband to pry into the Secrets of my Wife L. F. to Aman. squeezing her Hand I am in Love with you to desperation strike me Speechless A. giving him a Box o' th' Ear. Then thus I return your Passion an Impudent Fool. L. Fop. Gads Curse Madam I 'm a Peer of the Realm Lov. Hay What the Devil do you affront my Wife Sir nay then Aman. Ah! what has my Folly done They draw and Fight The Women run shrieking for help Help Murder help Part 'em for Heavens sake L. F. falling back and leaning upon his Sword Ah quite through the Body Stap my Vitals Enter Servants Lov. running to him I hope I han't kill'd the Fool however Bare him up Where 's your Wound L. Fop. Just through the Guts Lov. Call a Surgeon there Unbutton him quickly L. Fop. Ay pray make haste Lov. This Mischief you may thank your self for L. Fop. I may so Love 's the Devil indeed Ned. Enter Seringe and Servant Serv. Here 's Mr. Seringe Sir was just going by the Door L. Fop. He 's the welcom'st Man alive Ser. Stand by stand by stand by Pray Gentlemen stand by Lord have Mercy upon us did you never see a Man run through the Body before Pray stand by L. Fop. Ah Mr. Seringe I 'm a