him according as he had read in the seven Champions of the Combat there betwixt St. George and the Dragon But his Father understanding by his Plow-manâ—s broken Pate what Whimsies still possessed his Son's Noddle repented him that ever he had put him to School and accursed the time that ever he bought him these Books the original cause as he imagined of Billy's Distemper and so in a Rage getting all his Books together the Knights and the Gyants had been all burnt in one Bon-fire had not Billy with Tears and his Wife Lucy with Intreaties rescu'd them out his hands And now Billy instead of going to School is put to keep Sheep which he liked far better than going to Plow because he had read of some Kings and famous Knights that had been Shepherds but in all his Romances by which he was solely directed he had never read of any one of them that ever held Plow In this lazy kind of Life he had leisure more than enough to peruse his Romances over a fresh in which he neglected no time so that he could give a perfect account of each particular in any of these books And now weighing with himself what immortal Fame those Knights had gained he resolved to become a Knight Errant himself being now as he thought of strength and Age sufficient enough to cope with any Gyant yea though he were as big as Sir Ascapart is described in Bevis of Southampton or Colbrand the Dane whom Guy of Warwick slew But considering with himself that a Knight without a Lady is like Ling without Mustard or a Bag-pudding without Suet he therefore began to think on what Female he should place his Affection at last he resolved on a lusty strapping Wench a neighbouring Farmer 's Daughter one who for her heighth might have been Second to Long Meg of Westminster and as small in the Waste as a Mill-post in the middle such a one as the conceited Fellow could by no means be perswaded to marry alledging That of Evils the least is still to be chosen but Fancy that Loves without shewing reason why presented her to Billy as the Phenix of the Age and therefore he resolved that she and none but she should be the Loadstone of his Affections But her Name being Joan Grumball he thought was too mean for her now that she was to act her part on the Theatre of Honour he therefore took the same liberty as Cardinals do when they are elected Pope to change their Name and resolved in his thoughts that henceforward she should be called The Fair Dulcina and now his thoughts are wholly fixed on Love wherefore in imitation of those Amourists he had read of in his Romances he frequents Solitary places wrings his hands and exclaims bitterly on Cupid for bringing him into that miserable Thraldom O impetuous Love said he with what heavy burdens dost thou load thy poor Vassalsâ— How hard are thy Dictates and how intricate the Meanders thou bringest thy Captives into O pierce the Heart of that cruel fair One that she may at last consider of the Miseries that I endure for her sake but thou art Deaf as well as Blind and will not or rather canst not hear For how can we imagine thee to be a God who art so unjust in all thy Actions to fire the Breast of one and freeze the other to make her Heart more obdurate and harder than the Adamant and mine like Wax fit to receive any Impression thou art pleased to put upon it O Dulcina the only Joy of my Heart assure thy self that no Mortal Man whatsoever is or can be so much thy Servant and Slave as my self Then concluding with a Sigh for its period he would again wring his hands throw himself upon the Ground and make such sad Faces that had Dulcina seen him she could not chuse but have melted into Compassion even as a pound of Butter doth melt with the heat of the Fire But as this Passion of Love maketh the some wise Men mad so doth it again quicken and revive the Wits of others making their Fancies soar in a higher pitch than ordinary as may appear by this our Billy who though of himself as dull a Clod of Earth as ever Prometheus put fire into yet being thus wrap'd up in Love as a Baby in Blankets he grew very Poetical and taking Pen and Paper in hand writ these lines following in praise of his Dulcina Most sweet Dulcina whose Beauty doth surpass Our common Beauties as the Flowers doth Grass Or as pale Cynthia in a Winters night Surpasses all the Stars that shine so bright Or as the Pewter Spoon scoured so good Doth far excel those Spoons are made of Wood Or as rich Diamonds far exceeds course Pearls So doth Dulcina all our Country Girls Or as a Cedar which doth stately grow Doth far excel those shrubs that are below Or as a Paremain doth exceed a Crab Or as an honest Woman doth a Drab Or as a Sun-shine day excels a foul Or as a Nightingale exceeds an Owl Or as sweet Cream doth Butter-milk excel So doth Dulcina bear away the Bell. As Christmas-Pye more high esteem doth bear Than Pyes are made at other times o' th' Year Or as a Damask Rose excels a Nettle Or as fine Gold exceeds all other Mettle Or as a Silver Thimble doth surpass Twenty of those same Thimbles made of Brass So doth my sweet Dulcina so lovely brown Excel the chiefest Lasses in our Town Billy was not a little proud of his Verses for he conceited himself to be near as good a Poet as a Knight Errant and yet he thought withal that he could not well be the one without being the other they being two as inseparable Companions as a Whore and the fox And now having proceeded thus far in his business his next Care was how to get a Squire for a Knight-Errant without a Squire is like powder'd Beef without Mustard He therefore consider'd with himself he must of necessity be furnished that way not only to have a Companion in his Travels but also to be a witness of his Valour and upon occasion to send on an Errand to the Lady of his Affections according as he had read that Knights-Errant formerly had done Much were his Thoughts perplexed in the choice of a fit Person for this purpose sometimes pitching upon one and then upon more serious Thoughts rejecting him and fixing on another being more curious in his Choice than many a Man is in chusing oâ— his Wife At last he resolved upon one that was his Father's Taskers Son anâ— getting him one day to help him Fold hiâ— Sheep he there imparted his mind to him telling him such Rhodâ—mantado Storie of Conquering Kingdoms and Islands and Captivating Gyants and Monsters and how after all these Victories that he himself should be Crowned King of some great Country when he would make him a petty King or Vice-Roy under him that the young Man was easily induced to
condescend unto his Motion So agreeing to be as secret in the business as they could that their Fathers might not come to have any knowledge thereof for spoiling their Preferment Having Folded their Sheep they departed home intending to put their Resolutions into action as soon as might be CHAP. 2. How Sir Billy and his Squire went forth to seek Adventures Their Encounter with a Scare-crow and how he came to a Castle to be Dubbed Knight NOW were Billy and his Squire very busie in providing Materials for their intended Journey when their Design had like to have been quite spoiled by an unexpected Accident which came to pass as followeth Billy according to his wonted course frequenting Solitary places and bitterly exclaiming against the Tyrannies of Cupid was one day over-heard by a neighbouring Farmer who searching for some stray'd Sheep was by that means brought into that uncouth place where he heard Billy to make this sad Relation O Dulcina the Joy of my Heart How doth the Remembrance of thee add new Life to my drooping Spirits O sooner shall the Sea cease to Ebb and Flow or Hyperion to run his daily course than I shall cease to be Faithful to thee What though Jason was False to Medâ—a and Paris to Oenone Yet never shall it be said that thy Knight did prove disloyal that Billy was false to his Dulcina No know I will be as true to thee as St. George was to his Sabra Guy of Warwick to his Fair Phelice or Bevis of Southampton to Josiana O how I long to make thy Name renowned by the Deeds of arms which I shall perform that Babes unborn in time to come may read in Books those valiant Acts which I shall do for thy sake O how many Thousand Pagans shall I destroy and set their Cities on flames of Fire like the Battlements of Troy and make their blood run down the Channâ—ls and all for the love of my Dulcina But thou alas regardest noâ— my Love but art as deaf to my complaints as the hard-hearted Creditor is to his poor Debtor O Dulcina Dulcina the fairest Wench that ever trod upon Shooe of Leather regard my moan and pitty the sad pains that I endure for thy sake O be as kind to me as Rosalinde was to St. Denys the French Champion or the fair Jew to St. James the Champion of Spain Then taking the verses out of his pocket which he had made in the praise of his Dulcina he repeated them with such a groan as if she had been the only Goddess in the World worthy to be ador'd The Farmer who stood all this while unseen to mark his discourse hearing him talk of Gyants and Champions and Streams of Blood was struck into a marvellous amazement but at last hearing him to repeat the Verses he conceited with himself that he was infected with an itch of posy which he judged to be far worse than the Plague and therefore went and told Thomasiâ— that his Son was turned a Poet but that he might as good almost see him hang'd for he would never be worth a Groat as long as he lived Now by my Dun-Cow said Thomasio I prethee Neighbour tell me what these Boets be in Vaith saith the Farmer they are a strange kind of People who if they get a shilling in their Pocket for they seâ—dom can reach above such a Sum they never leave till they have spent ten Pence out of it They are very dry Fellows for they can never quench their thirst with drinking And though-by reason of their Poverty few English Women will have them yet they say they are wedded to nine Outlandish wenches whom they call Muses They talk of a great deal of land they have lies in a place called Pernassus-hill but by my fay I believe it is but barren stuff for never an Vsurer will lend a farthing on morgage on it else sure it had been all forfeited long ago Sometimes perhaps a Gentleman will lend a half Crown or Five Shillings upon it but no sooner is that Mony spent but they will Morgage it to another which makes me Wonder how these Gentlemen are Cheated because they show them Writings But I 'll warrant ye they â—ever get a Penny of a Lawyer for they are too cunning to be Cheated with such Noninoes and yet ne'er stir sometimes they make such Plaguy Songs that when they are Sung in our Market they make the Maids to melt like the butter in their basket to hear them but as sure as Eggs with too long Boyling will prove to be hard they have but little or nothing for the making of them for a new Suit on their Backs is as strange as to meet with Frosty weather at Midsummer So that if you would never so fain be revenged on them their Coats are so thin they will not endure a brushing nor is it to any purpose to Sue them at Law for they are indebted Twenty Shillings more than they are worth at the Ale-House By my Hallidame said Thomasio if I thought my Son Billy would prove such a Boet I should heartily wish he had never been Born but now I think on 't I have a trick in my head that I believe will Spoil his Rimeing I will take him away from keeping of Sheep and set him to Threshing and Forceing him to work hard from Morning till Night I warrant you he will have but little Mind of making of Verses Indeed said his Neighbour you have hit the Nail on the head for I tell ye this Poetry proceeds all from Idleness for I that was brought up hard to work did never make a Verse in all my Life But I wonder why at first you would bestow so much learning on him for though a little be not amiss to read now and then a Chapter to drive away the time yet you will find that if once they go any further the more Bookish the more Blockish for then go about to learn them how to hold Plough and as good go about to empty our Horse-Pond with a spoon Therefore I advise ye Neighbour to do as you say and you will soon see that working hard will put him quite besides his Poetry Accordingly the next morning Billy was set to Threshing and so narrowly looked to for plying his Work that he had no breathing time for his Love-Sick Fancies and quite took off the edge of his Stomack for Versefying his whole care and study being now how to get himself rid of this thraldom that he might go in persuit of his Knightly adventures and Fortune that ever favours noble Enterprizes soon put a golden opportunity into his hand for his Father was to go to London to pay his Rent which with some other business that he had would detain him there the space of three days Billy resolving to let no more time slip now that Fortune was so favourable to him acquaints his Squire Ricardo therewith bidding him to provide his things ready for Fame called aloud
Tinker who by wearing the Ring was become invisible she fell to Jogging the other two to know what was become of the Tinker the Tinker Judged her to be mad to ask for him before his Face and therefore said what a P is the Old Jade blind she cannot see me The Old Woman hearing his voice but seeing no Body asked where are ye where are ye with that he gave her such a Box on the Ear as tumbled her down upon Ricardo whose fall awaked him out of his sleep and hearing the Tinker to Curse and Bann because his Hostess could not see him he thought he had gotten away his Ring and feâ—ling in his Pocket found it so indeed wherefore he was ready to swound away with fear but recollecting himself he called to the Tinker saying Honest Brother-give me thy Hand which the Tinker doing he nimbly slipt the Ring from off his Finger and as nimbly put it on his own whereby the Tinker again became visible but Ricardo was no where to be seen The Hostess seeing such Juggling tricks began to call out for her Money with such a loud voice as waked also the Bedlam who asking for his Master I think said she your Master is the Devil for the Tinker and he are in Dock out Nettle sometimes seen and sometimes not and here is Seven Shillings and six pence to pay and now the Young Devil is fled which I much marvel at for I think none of you both have any Crosses about ye to scare him away Whilst they were thus arguing the case Ricardo slipt away from them taking his course directly towards Billerecay where how he sped we shall declare in the next Chapter CHAP. 7. How Ricardo delivered his Letter to Jone Grumball with her Answer to it And several Explcits performed by Ricardo with his Invisible-Ring IT was at such time of the day when the Curl pate Waggoner of Heaven had well near finisht his Diurnal Course and was driving his panting Steeds down towards the Western Hill when the Renowned Squire Errant Ricardo entred into the Town of Billerecay bending his course directly towards the House of Jone Grumball to whom he delivered Sir Billy's Letter with much obsequiousness telling her such Stories of his Master's Valour his Honour of Knight-Hood and of the great affection he bore to her that her heart began to melt towards him even as a pound of Butter melts before the Sun But being she could not read her self she sent for a Journey-man Shoomaker to the further end of the Town to read it one who bore good will unto her and was at that present inditing a Letter to make her know the affection he bore her Crispin having read it over and understanding he had a Knight to his Rival was very much troubled but Jone Grumball was so well pleased with the Sugar-Candy Words he sent unto her that she vowed her self unto him both Body and Breeches asking Ricardo many questions concerning him all which he answered in such lofty Language amplifying his prowess the respects all people shewed unto him with the faithful Love he bare unto her that she was more and more entangled in the Lime-Twigs of Love vowing and protesting her self his for ever Crispin by these presages finding his Suit like to have but a cold reception to avenge himself on Ricardo by whose speeches he thought Jone's Heart was estranged from him he therefore ran to old Thomasio telling him his Son's partner in stealing away his Horses was at that instant at Jone Grumball's whom he might easily take and by that means know what was become of his Son as also of his Horses Thomasio quick as lightning taking a Constable along with him went to Jone Grumballs and seizing upon Ricardo threatned him with all the punishments he could reckon up as Hanging Burning Drowning Killing Stabbing and twenty other kinds of Death besides if he told him not where his Son and Horses were Ricardo nothing daunted at his Domineering but intending to put a trick upon him told him that his Son was become one of the greatest Lords in the World that Kings and Queens craved his Assistance and Lords and Ladies implored his help that he commonly kill'd half a dozen Gyants for his Breakfast and bathed his Sword in the Blood of Monsters and Dragons every day That his Master was at that present in the Sage Freston's Castle where the most excellent Princess Tantabilus courted his Love but that he had vowed himself only to the Service of his Beautiful Dulcina In sum that his Master was a Knight and he was his Squire and that therefore by the Laws of Knight Errantry they were not to be troubled nor molested wheresoever they came But Thomasio being minded not to be put off with such Noninoes charged the Constable to carry him before a Justice of Peace to which Ricardo willingly consented whether they immediately address'd themselves The Justice having heard the Allegations on both sides perswaded Thomasio to go along with Ricardo and see by fair means to bring his Son home again and if he were so obstinate he would not râ—turn to take away their Horses which would be a means to spoil their Knight-Errantry and that they might go the more lovingly together he called for a Bottle of Sack to drink them into Unity The Bottle was no sooner set on the Table but Ricardo vowed himself Master thereof and thereupon slipping on his Invisible-Ring he boldly steps to the Table and clapping the Bottle of Sack under his Coat marched away with it not being descerned by any The Justice and Thomasio were stricken into a wonderful Amazement to see the Bottle go away without hands as they thought but much more when they missed Ricardo And now remembring what strange stories he had told of Billy they concluded that both the Master and the Man were turned Conjurers and therefore dreaded what further mischief might by his means be shewed unto them In the mean time Ricardo was walked to Jone Grumballs with his Bottle of Sack never pulling off his Ring till he came within the House that not any one might take any Notice of him Here did he tell her what a trick he served the Justice and that therefore he must make all the hast he could to his Master Jone was very well pleased with the Jest but much more with her part she had in the Sack and having drank a Health to Billy she desired Ricardo to stay so long till she got a Letter in answer to his Master which by the School-Master of the Town was performed for her in these woâ—ds My dearest Knight WIth what Joy I Jone Grumball the Lady of thy affections received your Letter may better be 〈◊〉 by Imagination than words for hearâ—â—g of â—he ardent Love that you beare unto me set forth in such Rhetorical Elocution it fared with me as with a Beggar who on a sudden finding a rich Treasure can scarce believe his own Eyes but fears it
wits end not knowing what course to take sometimes he prayed sometimes he swore wishing all the Imprecations upon himself he could reckon up if he knew the least who it was came with him but let him use what Oaths and Protestations he would they could gain no Credit with them but sending for some of their Neighbours to help them they resolved to throw him into the River to try him for a Witch but whilst they were preparing to do it the Host of the former Inn with the Bayliffs hearing how their Capon and Platter was convey'd thither came to seek for it These Bayliffs knowing the Horse-Courser as most commonly Brethren in Iniquity are acquainted togeâ—her got a reprieve for him till the matter could be more deliberately discoursed And now they began to reckon up their Mischances and to shew their Wounds and considering the manner how it was done they concluded it could be no other than the Devil to punish them for their Sins Then began the Host to tell the Bayliffs of their Swearing and Cruelty how many ungodly practises they used to get people in their Clutches and having them there how unconscionably they used them The Bayliffs on the other side tell the Host and Hostess of their falsâ— Reckonings Scoreing with a crotched Chalk and when people were near fuddled carrying away Flaggons before they were half empty and frothing them up again making them pay for whole ones as also how they gave information to Padders and Men of that profession the quality of the Guests that Lodged at their Houses The Horse-Courser was also accused for divers deceits in his Occupation so that if his picture be drawn to the Life you shall find him by his qualities to be no other than a Cousening Knave In the mean time their supposed Devil Ricarâ—o was gotten beyond the length of their Clutches leaving them to lament their Losses and now he was minded to return the next day to his Master and to that end went directly to the Farmer 's where he had left his Horse But a new trouble appeared unto him for he had no Money to pay for his Horse-keeping but that difficulty was soon over for passing by a Usurer's House he heard Money clattering on the Table and the Door being open putting on his Invisible-Ring he went in where a Poor Man who had borrowed Ten Pounds of this Usurer was now come to pay it which being told and the Bond Cancel'd the Usurer put it up in a Bag of his own all which Ricardo eyed very narrowly and no sooner had he laid it on the Table but Ricardo as soon took it away The Usurer whose Eye like his Heart was always on his Money seeing his Bag to creep away so insensibly was quite confounded with Amazement as it would move a Dog to see a Pudding stir and began to call upon him who before was seldom in his thoughts fearing the Devil whom he Judged to have drawn away his Bag would next come for him and therefore vowed a Reformation of his Course of Life That he would never more take the Rigour of a Forfeiture as soon as the day was past nor under colour of Bonds Writing and Procuration make the Borrower pay at least Ten or Twelve Shillings in the Hundred Nay rather than fail to be preserv'd from this Danger he would build an Alms-House to maintain them who had been Ruin'd by his Extortion Now you will say it had been good Hanging this Usurer whilst he was in this â—umour lest he should be of the same mind with a Master of a Ship who in a great extremity of Danger promised our Lady to offer at her Altar a Candle as great as the main Mast of his Ship And when one of his Mates jogging him told him he had promised an impossibility Tush Fool said he we must speak to her fair in time of need but if ever I come ashore I will make her be content with a Candle of six to the Pound But Ricardo was somewhat more Consciencious in his doings for being got sâ—fe out of the Usurers House he put some of the Money in his Pocket and waiting foâ— the poor Man's return gave him the rest bidding him to be a good Husband with it and pray for the Squire of the Invisible Ring for his good Fortune And sâ— leaving the Poor Man over-joy'd he wenâ— towards the Farmers when passing through a Meddow he saw a Maid Milkâ—ing of a Cow who was sweetly singinâ— forth this Song When first on Love I cast my wanton thoughâ— But yet not minding him for to obey For freedom sure I thought was better oughâ— Than serving him his Servitors doth sâ—â—â— For what to Hungry Lovers is relief 〈◊〉 But Sorrow Anguish Discontent Griâ—â— But yet my mind is not so fully set For Maidens minds are subject unto change But if I could a faithful Servant get Whose Love would not be subject for to range I soon to Love should yield a due subjection And he should Master be of my Affection For Maidens Hearts they are not like to steal Obdurate hard will no Impression take But tender soft when Cupid's Darts they feel Which in their Hearts will soon Impâ—ession make No Fort so strong but may be won at last No Mind so fixt but it may change as fast Ricardo stood amaz'd at the ravishing Harmony of her Voice comparing it to the Melody of the Thracian Poet Orpheus when by his Songs he attracted Beasts Trees and Stones to follow him or rather to the Harmony of the Seraphick Choires wishing himself all Ear to listen to her Song the pleasingness whereof so insensibly crept into his Heart that he became a Thrawl unto her But first he began to consider whether Squire Errants might have their Mistresses as well as Knights and many weighty Arguments pro and Con passed in his thoughts but Love so over-swayed them all that he became solely captivated to her Affections and therefore was she no sooner risen from Milking her Cow but he accosted her on this manner Most beautyful Mistress the attracting Harmony of your Angelical Voice hath so captivated my Heart that I am become a Sworn Servant to your Vertues and therefore among all the Days of my Life I must account this the Happiest wherein I had the Honour first to see you Nor think you have met with an ordinary person which seeks thus to gain an Interest in your Graces for know I am no less than a Squire-Errant to that Renowned Knight at Arms the invincible and Victorious Sir Billy of Billerecay whose Fame begins to sound all the World over and whose History is to be Writ with a brazen Pen and enroled in the Book of Fame Let me intreat you therefore to accept of me for your Servant by which you may come to be as Famous as Dulcina my Masters Lady and in process of Time the Wife to a Governour of an Island The poor Maid who had never before been acquainted
surely the Stygian Prince that general Adversary of human Nature haunts this place who by his wicked Emissaries hath so belaboured me as if he intended to make Mummy of my flesh but could I but see this black Prince of Acheron or any of those his infernal Messengers which thus carried me out of the fight he should see I would not fear to encounter with him but thus to beat and misuse Men unseen is both Cowardly and base and quite contrary to the Rules of Knight Errantry The Coroner and his Man hearing Ricardo's discourse declared how they were also served shewing several Cuts and gashes of a Sword on their Clothes with some slight hurts on their Bodies protesting it could be no other than a Spirit This made them all amazed but only Sir Billy who would needs perswade them it was a punishment inflicted on them by the Sage Freston who was an Enemy to all those who opposed Knight Errantry and a special Friend in all times of distress to them who practised the Rules of that noble Order But replied the old Justice how comes it to pass that Ricardo who is at least a retainer to Knight-Errantry should also be punished by him as well as these who are professed Enemies of that Order That is deservedly inflicted on him replied Sir Billy because not many days before I came hither his foolish Tongue was venting some speeches derogatory to that noble profession Nay so far did his folly prevail with him that he would have perswaded me to have left off pursuing of Knightly Adventures and to have spent the remainder of my days in Ease and Idleness had I not been endowed with a heart betwixt whom and fear there 's an antipathy my known disposition being such as to scorn those dangers which would make a Coward tremble to think on Ricardo had much a-do to forbear laughing outright to hear his Master talk so rediculously as also 〈◊〉 think how he had possest the Coroner and his Man with a firm belief that they were beaten by Spirits but by this means all thoughts of fighting any more being quite laid aside the Justice invited them all unto his House and that there might be a thorough reconciliation betwixt them the Coroner led Sir Billy by the hand and his Man the Squire Ricardo Here did the Justice express his bountiful nature by the great entertainment he gave them which was such as if Ceres and Bacchus had taken up his House for their habitation The Justices Daughter who had before so graced Sir Billy being extreamly taken with his extravagancies to follow on the humour entertained him in these Words Most noble Knight whose prowess is far above my expressions blind Fortunes Mincion in Valorous attempts having a Spirit of greater confidence than can give admittance to any thoughts of Cowardise more welcome is thy presence to me than that of Vlysses to the chast Penelope after his Ten Years absence at the Seige of Troy How happy is that Lady which hath so renowned a Champion to her Servant more Fortunate is she in her Choice than was Sabra the King of Egypt's Daughter in St. George the Beautiful Rosalinde in St. Dennis of France or the renowned Philotheta in that of Montelion Knight of the Oracle Indeed 〈…〉 the Goddess of my affections is such a one that should I go about to describe her I must use the help of the most precious things and invocate the learnedest of the Nine Muses for my assistance Her Hair that Amorous Cordage like to a rich and artful Coronet shews like to Curâ—ains for Beauties Chamber Her Forehead Beauties Sphear shews like to a Mount of bleached Snow built upon two Ivory Arches Her Eyes those starry Jewels such as might Captivate Love and her Eye-brows enough to Work miracles with their Magâ—ck Circles Her Cheeks like two banks of fairest Flowers enrich't with sweetness like mingled Baths of Milk and Roses Her Ears those watchful Sentinels need no Jewels to Adorn them her Ears themselves being all Jewels Her Nose such where Zeâ—â—yrus delights to sport Her Lips are melting Rubies where Love plants and gathers Kisses Her Teeth like Ivory pales which inclose a Tongue made up of sweetest Hony Her Breath comes stealingly from her as if it seemed loth to come forth from so delicious a Mansion but that it hoped to be drawn in again to that well closed Paradise Her Neck shews like a Silver Pillar more white than Towers of pollisht Ivory Her Breasts those Twins of Miracle are like two Hillocks betwixt which a Thousand Cupids lie A Wast as strait and clean as Hermes Rod or Circes Wand Her Belly Natures Kitchen round soft and Plump more tempting than Gold to a greedy Usurer Her Thighs like soft Ivory pillars supporâ—ers of that goodly frame I have already described Her Knees so well compacted that Nature therein observed her choicest Symmetry Her Legs Cupid's Columns more straighter than the thighs of Jove Her Feet such as with their pace do move a band of Beauties In brief such a one as may serve for a foyl to Cupid's Mother 〈…〉 looks 〈◊〉 turn the saddest Night to day 〈◊〉 first and best original of all fair Copies This description of his Mistress struck the Justice's Daughter into amazement as taking her to be a piece whom Nature in the Composing had taken the choicest excellencies from divers others to make one every ways compleat but knowing Lovers are partial in the description of their Mistresses excellencies that she might be the better informed finding Ricardo alone and in a merry humor she desired him to inform her fully in the accomplishments of his Masters so celebrated Lady Ricardo who was almost weary of his Squire Errantry and perceiving that his hopes of being Governour of an Island would not amount to be Monarch of a Mole Hill and that all his Masters projects and designs were but meer Chymera's and Idle imaginations was resolved therefore to leave off this kind of Vagabonding Life and if his Master would not be perswaded to go home to leave him in pursuance of his folly being therefore fearless of his displeasure he thought to give the Gentlewoman a more Comical but truer description of this Lady of perfections which he performed in this manner To begin with her upper parts Her hair said he hangs down her neck like crawling Snakes curiously pleated into Elf-Locks Her Forehead like a piece of new-furrowed Land or like the parched Earth in the heat of dog-Dog-days Her Eyes like two Mill-pits continually running over on either side of which hangs two Souses or Ears of such a prodigious greatness that were they cut off and Tann'd would serve a Cobler a Month for Clouting Leather Her Cheeks are like two shrimpled skins of parchment and her Nose comparable to that in the picture of Mother Shipton Her Mouth opens and shuts like a Carrier Pouch and her Teeth are like to an old Park-Pale Her Lips resemble those of the Hogs-Fac'd