but_o a_o weak_a faith_n if_o he_o meet_v with_o no_o temptation_n shall_v scarce_o know_v what_o doubt_v mean_n and_o a_o man_n of_o a_o strong_a faith_n under_o strong_a temptation_n may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v fear_n and_o doubt_n if_o assurance_n do_v exclude_v all_o doubt_n and_o fear_n than_o it_o shall_v be_v perfect_a but_o as_o our_o faith_n and_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v imperfect_a so_o be_v assurance_n also_o none_o have_v assurance_n at_o all_o time_n it_o be_v like_o the_o wether_n sometime_o fair_a sometime_o foul_a yea_o in_o the_o same_o day_n fair_a in_o the_o morning_n and_o cloudy_a before_o night_n david_n have_v such_o strong_a faith_n at_o one_o time_n that_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o ten_o thousand_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o he_o shall_v pass_v through_o the_o valley_n of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n at_o another_o time_n he_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n that_o he_o say_v he_o shall_v one_o day_n 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gracious_a he_o delight_v in_o nothing_o more_o than_o in_o show_v mercy_n you_o can_v do_v nothing_o more_o grateful_a to_o god_n nor_o please_v he_o better_o than_o to_o plead_v for_o mercy_n mich._n 7._o 18._o when_o thou_o plead_v for_o mercy_n thou_o have_v god_n nature_n plead_v the_o same_o thing_n for_o thou_o all_o the_o yearning_n bowel_n of_o the_o most_o compassionate_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n be_v but_o a_o mere_a shadow_n to_o the_o bowel_n of_o god_n we_o may_v go_v to_o god_n in_o confidence_n of_o be_v hear_v for_o christ_n sake_n only_o as_o if_o we_o have_v never_o sin_v it_o be_v wonderful_a what_o the_o scripture_n say_v of_o faith_n and_o prayer_n vi_o this_o also_o may_v help_v to_o sustain_v and_o comfort_v a_o poor_a doubt_v tender_a heart_n that_o fear_n and_o suspect_v himself_o of_o hypocrisy_n that_o those_o very_a fear_n of_o thou_o be_v some_o show_n of_o the_o contrary_n man_n natural_o love_v and_o flatter_v themselves_o but_o thou_o loathe_v thyself_o for_o thy_o corruption_n be_v of_o good_a cheer_n it_o be_v grace_n and_o nothing_o but_o grace_n that_o complain_v of_o sin_n it_o be_v sincerity_n and_o nothing_o else_o that_o discover_v and_o bewail_v hypocrisy_n especial_o when_o thou_o bewail_v heart-hypocrisie_n and_o such_o secret_a and_o hide_a sin_n that_o only_a god_n and_o thy_o own_o heart_n do_v know_v if_o thou_o live_v not_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n nor_o in_o neglect_n of_o any_o know_a duty_n if_o thou_o will_v find_v out_o thy_o sin_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o god_n eye_n and_o no_o duty_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o thy_o own_o eye_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v against_o it_o and_o no_o duty_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v for_o it_o this_o prove_v thy_o uprightness_n vii_o if_o god_n never_o make_v his_o face_n to_o shine_v on_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n yet_o it_o be_v thy_o duty_n to_o trust_v and_o cleave_v to_o he_o through_o christ_n will_v you_o know_v why_o god_n when_o he_o have_v wrought_v grace_n do_v not_o enable_v the_o soul_n present_o to_o perceive_v it_o it_o may_v be_v it_o be_v that_o sin_n may_v be_v more_o bitter_a if_o we_o can_v have_v comfort_n when_o we_o will_v we_o shall_v have_v very_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n upon_o sight_n of_o thy_o grace_n possible_o thou_o will_v be_v proud_a to_o hide_v this_o pride_n god_n hide_v our_o grace_n from_o we_o it_o may_v be_v god_n do_v it_o to_o prove_v thy_o obedience_n to_o he_o for_o to_o rely_v on_o god_n grace_n and_o live_v by_o faith_n without_o sensible_a token_n of_o it_o be_v the_o pure_a act_n of_o obedience_n that_o can_v be_v by_o assurance_n we_o get_v more_o comfort_n to_o ourselves_o but_o by_o believe_v we_o give_v more_o glory_n to_o god_n therefore_o say_v christ_n to_o thomas_n bless_a be_v they_o that_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o have_v believe_v when_o you_o have_v any_o evidence_n of_o grace_n you_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o rest_v only_o on_o christ_n and_o trust_v to_o he_o the_o great_a work_n of_o a_o christian_a in_o this_o world_n be_v out_o of_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o weakness_n daily_o to_o depend_v on_o christ_n look_v to_o christ_n see_v our_o need_n of_o christ_n for_o pardon_n and_o sanctification_n and_o reconciliation_n every_o day_n this_o be_v our_o great_a work_n how_o many_o search_n for_o grace_n and_o neglect_v to_o put_v forth_o act_n of_o faith_n on_o christ_n alas_o grace_n be_v but_o token_n from_o christ_n let_v we_o not_o forget_v depend_v and_o rely_v on_o the_o bless_a jesus_n though_o we_o have_v no_o fight_n at_o all_o of_o any_o grace_n in_o ourselves_o where_o a_o person_n have_v any_o one_o sign_n of_o grace_n he_o may_v warrantable_o conclude_v all_o the_o rest_n to_o be_v there_o though_o at_o present_a he_o perceive_v they_o not_o it_o be_v the_o truth_n and_o not_o the_o measure_n and_o degree_n of_o your_o grace_n you_o be_v to_o conclude_v your_o state_n by_o the_o prize_v and_o love_v and_o seek_v and_o delight_v in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n above_o all_o be_v a_o certain_a evidence_n of_o grace_n viii_o the_o great_a sense_n of_o sin_n and_o gild_n shall_v discourage_v none_o from_o come_v to_o god_n for_o mercy_n through_o christ_n because_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v infinite_o more_o than_o a_o sinner_n provocation_n be_v or_o can_v be_v o_o it_o be_v boundless_a mercy_n bottomless_a mercy_n there_o be_v many_o like_a sinner_n as_o thou_o be_v but_o there_o be_v none_o like_o god_n for_o pardon_v and_o forgive_a mercy_n mic._n 6._o 18._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v high_a than_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o way_n high_a than_o your_o way_n and_o my_o thought_n than_o your_o thought_n isa_n 55._o 8._o when_o conscience_n be_v awaken_v we_o be_v ready_a to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n will_v pardon_v we_o therefore_o he_o fetch_v argument_n from_o his_o gracious_a and_o merciful_a nature_n my_o way_n be_v not_o your_o way_n if_o you_o repent_v your_o sin_n shall_v infinite_o be_v outdo_v we_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v god_n like_o ourselves_o but_o the_o bless_a god_n be_v of_o tender_a bowel_n slow_a to_o wrath_n loath_a to_o take_v vengeance_n ready_a to_o forgive_v the_o great_a wrong_n and_o receive_v the_o sinner_n into_o his_o favour_n upon_o true_a repentance_n there_o be_v say_v god_n as_o vast_a a_o difference_n between_o my_o disposition_n and_o deal_v and_o you_o as_o between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n thou_o that_o be_v a_o awaken_v convince_a sinner_n the_o promise_n of_o the_o gospel_n belong_v unto_o thou_o isa_n 61._o 1._o the_o lord_n have_v anoint_v i_o to_o preach_v good_a tiding_n to_o the_o meek_a to_o bind_v up_o the_o brokenhearted_a and_o to_o comfort_v all_o that_o mourn_v can_v thou_o desire_v to_o be_v in_o a_o better_a case_n than_o those_o who_o christ_n have_v commission_n to_o take_v care_n of_o the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n the_o mourner_n for_o their_o sin_n those_o that_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n not_o have_v a_o drop_n of_o comfort_n from_o themselves_o christ_n bless_v and_o pronounce_v happy_a bless_a be_v the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n not_o one_o of_o they_o will_v the_o lord_n have_v keep_v from_o come_v to_o he_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v to_o i_o all_z you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n trust_v to_o i_o you_o that_o be_v trouble_v in_o conscience_n for_o sin_n i_o will_v bring_v you_o to_o rest_v in_o god_n love_n and_o favour_n be_v not_o discourage_v there_o be_v a_o mediator_n for_o thou_o who_o worthiness_n and_o
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himself_o by_o enlarge_n of_o it_o with_o that_o very_a design_n the_o first_o thing_n he_o do_v there_o in_o the_o morning_n be_v to_o read_v some_o part_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n with_o the_o best_a annotation_n he_o can_v procure_v upon_o they_o and_o the_o like_a in_o the_o evening_n and_o in_o read_v they_o over_o again_o and_o again_o regular_o and_o in_o course_n he_o find_v much_o advantage_n he_o still_o perceive_v such_o a_o majesty_n such_o a_o mystery_n such_o a_o depth_n in_o they_o that_o he_o be_v never_o weary_a of_o fathom_v though_o he_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o bottom_n he_o desire_v to_o walk_v by_o that_o rule_n to_o be_v guide_v by_o that_o light_n and_o to_o derive_v his_o support_v encouragement_n and_o hope_n from_o thence_o i_o hardly_o ever_o know_v one_o more_o careful_a of_o his_o time_n and_o all_o that_o know_v he_o must_v say_v the_o same_o he_o will_v tarry_v but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n in_o any_o company_n where_o he_o may_v not_o do_v or_o receive_v good_n he_o be_v so_o punctual_a in_o his_o time_n of_o retirement_n for_o secret_a prayer_n about_o six_o in_o the_o summer_n and_o five_o in_o the_o winter_n unless_o he_o be_v hear_v a_o sermon_n at_o that_o hour_n that_o he_o will_v usual_o make_v some_o excuse_n or_o other_o to_o break_v away_o from_o company_n though_o he_o return_v to_o they_o in_o half_a a_o hour_n his_o communion_n with_o god_n there_o be_v discover_v by_o the_o frame_n of_o his_o spirit_n when_o he_o come_v from_o thence_o it_o be_v there_o we_o speak_v our_o mind_n and_o heart_n more_o free_o to_o god_n and_o there_o he_o communicate_v of_o his_o gracious_a influence_n in_o a_o special_a manner_n to_o we_o he_o find_v more_o satisfaction_n and_o comfort_n in_o one_o such_o hour_n by_o pour_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n alone_o than_o in_o the_o most_o witty_a cheerful_a conversation_n of_o such_o who_o discourse_n administer_v no_o grace_n or_o profit_n to_o the_o hearer_n when_o he_o have_v be_v desire_v to_o go_v to_o bed_n soon_o or_o as_o soon_o as_o other_o he_o will_v often_o say_v he_o will_v do_v as_o other_o if_o he_o be_v not_o certain_a that_o he_o must_v die_v but_o our_o sleep_a time_n he_o say_v be_v lose_v as_o to_o any_o spiritual_a good_a any_o further_a than_o it_o fit_v we_o for_o our_o duty_n by_o preserve_a health_n the_o last_o thing_n he_o do_v every_o evening_n be_v to_o go_v into_o his_o closet_n and_o with_o prayer_n and_o self-examination_n to_o close_v the_o day_n once_o a_o week_n viz._n every_o friday_n night_n as_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n he_o say_v it_o have_v be_v his_o constant_a custom_n to_o review_v the_o mercy_n of_o his_o whole_a life_n thereby_o to_o promote_v his_o humility_n and_o thankfulness_n to_o keep_v up_o his_o hope_n in_o god_n and_o quicken_v his_o cheerful_a diligent_a obedience_n to_o he_o his_o care_n and_o concern_v for_o the_o soul_n of_o those_o under_o his_o charge_n especial_o his_o child_n be_v very_o 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of_o it_o the_o devil_n thanks_o be_v to_o god_n who_o have_v give_v he_o and_o assure_v we_o of_o the_o victory_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o he_o be_v glory_n throughout_o all_o the_o church_n for_o ever_o amen_n the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a now_o follow_v out_o of_o his_o own_o paper_n the_o manner_n of_o his_o examine_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n state_n and_o frame_n and_o the_o result_n thereof_o record_v and_o write_v for_o his_o support_n in_o after-difficulty_n some_o may_v be_v excite_v by_o it_o to_o a_o imitation_n and_o other_o find_v encouragement_n by_o what_o relieve_v he_o against_o his_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o enable_v he_o to_o persevere_v even_o without_o full_a assurance_n henry_n gearing_n though_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n for_o many_o year_n yet_o i_o think_v good_a for_o my_o encouragement_n here_o to_o record_v god_n goodness_n to_o i_o sometime_o by_o look_v over_o my_o 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to_o be_v for_o ever_o with_o he_o hereafter_o january_n the_o 30_o 1682._o i_o spend_v this_o day_n in_o a_o secret_a fast_o in_o my_o closet_n the_o main_a end_n i_o propose_v to_o myself_o be_v to_o search_v again_o my_o heart_n to_o find_v out_o whether_o there_o be_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o or_o no_o also_o that_o i_o may_v get_v corruption_n more_o subdue_v that_o be_v yet_o strong_a in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v hearty_a in_o the_o work_n though_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n be_v too_o much_o upon_o i_o the_o lord_n forgive_v i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n that_o he_o have_v begin_v that_o good_a work_n in_o i_o that_o he_o will_v perfect_v of_o the_o day_n of_o christ_n i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v and_o hope_v i_o be_o not_o i_o trust_v the_o lord_n have_v 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