this Section ther are various Discourses of the state and nature of Women pro con c. SECT V. Discourses 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Mule who in his Manhood had bin a Doctor of Physic in Tumontia whom for som Quacking tricks he had plaid and for som other Resons Morphandra metamorphos'd into a Mule In this Section ther be discourses of the Art of Physic of the various complexions of Mankind and of the nomberles diseases of body and distempers of mind that are incident to the Human Creture c. SECT VI Consists of Interchangeable Discourses 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Fox who had bin a Saturnian born whom for his cunning dealings and Mountebankish wily tricks she transformed from a Merchant to that Species This Section treats of divers things and particularly how the Art of tru Policy is degenerated and what poor Sciolists or Smatterers therin are cryed up of late years c. SECT VII A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Boar wherein ther are various Discourses and particularly of the rare Sympatheticall Powder that is lately found out which works sudden and certain Cures without any topicall applications of Medicines to the part affected c. SECT VIII A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Wolf who had bin a Cuprinian Soldier whom for his Plundrings Rapines and Spoils she transfigur'd to that shape c. SECT IX A discourse 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Goat consisting of many speculations both Naturall and Metaphysicall with other Criticisms c. SECT X. A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Soland-Goose a Carboncian born who was transmuted to that shape for his foolishnes in rebelling against his own Conterranean King and so jugling himself into a Slavery from that Free-Government he was formerly under c. SECT XI Consists of a Dialog 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Hive of Bees who had bin once a Monastery of Nuns and were transmuted to those small Insects because that after a years Probation and their own praevious free Election they murmur'd at that Reclus'd Claustrall life and wish'd Themselfs uncloyster'd again In this Section ther be divers Discourses of the Immortality and high prerogatives of the Human Soul as also of the Hevenly Hierarchy and Ioyes Eternall c. Bibliopola Lectori If you will ope this Work with ease You must from Greece go fetch your Keys M P F Barlowe 〈◊〉 R Gaywood fecit A KEY To enter more easily into the Sense of MORPHANDRA OR The Parly of Beasts THe Otter represents a Dutch Skipper or Mariner The Ass represents a French peasan The Ape represents an English Preachman The Mule represents a Spanish Doctor of Physick The Fox represents a Genoa or an Italian Merchant The Boar represents a German Count. The Wolf represents a Swedish Captain or Freebotter The Goat represents the Old Britain or Inhabitant of Wales The Soland Goose represents a Scotchman The Hind represents a Venetian Courtisan The Hive of Bees represents a Monastery of Nuns An Etymologicall Derivation of som Words and Anagrams in the Parly of Beasts according to the ALPHABET A AEtonia the Eagles Countrey represents High Germany of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 aquila Alpiana represents Savoy being a Countrey indented among the Alps. Artonia the Countrey of Bread and Wine represents France of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 panis 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vinum C Carboncia the Coale-Countrey represents Scotland Cuprinia the Copper-Countrey represents Swethland The Cinqfoyl Portugal Cardinal Mazarine p. 21 The Coppices represents the common Peeple Cerano the Anagram of Nocera an ancient town in Italy D Diogenes p. 56 Sir Kenelm Digby 148 Dr. Harvey 141 G Gheriona the Countrey of Wool represents England of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 terra 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 lana H Hydraulia the Countrey of Waters represents Holland with the Confederate Provinces of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Aqua and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 populus Hebrinia Ireland being Hibernia anagrammatiz'd The City of Hereford p. 122 The Hollanders are meant P. 72 L Laroni the D. of Lorrain London Prentices p 44. M Marcopolis the City of S. Mark represents Venice of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 civitas 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Morphandra a Queen that can transmute Men into Beasts of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 formo 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hominem N Nopolia Polonia anagrammatiz'd O Orosia a Mountainous Countrey represents Wales of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Mons. Oxford Cambridge p. 38 P Pererius a wandring Prince of pererrando Polyhaima the City of Bloud represents London of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 civitas 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sanguis The Phrygian King Mydas The Phrygian Fabler Aesop The late K. of Engl. p. 35 The present K. Ch. p. 39 Q The Queen of Sweden p. 114 Queen Elizabeth p. 57 R Rinarchus the Palsgrave of the Rhine of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 princeps c. Rugilia the State of Genoa the Anagram of Liguria the ancient appellation of that Territory Rainsborough and Admirall Dean 40 Roundheads variously tormented in Hell ibid. Rovena the City of Verona in Lombardy anagrammatiz'd S Saturnia represents Italy Cilisia Sicilia ana grammatiz'd The Standels represent the Nobles and Gentry Selenians or half-Moon men represent the Turks of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Luna T Tumontia a Countrey swelling with huge Hills represents Spain Tomanto Empire the Dominions of the Great Turk Tomanto being Ottoman anagrammatiz'd Tarragon Catalunia in Spaine the ancientest town whereof is Tarragona Therlu the Anagram of Luther Therologia the language of Beasts of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 fera 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sermo V Volganians the Moscovits of the huge River Volga W The West-Indies p. 70 Z Zundanians the Peeple of Denmark 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The First Section Consisting of divers Interlocutions 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and an Otter who had been first an Amstelian Mariner and being proffer'd to be transmuted to his first nature by Morphandra and to be transported by Pererius to his own Countrey yet he would hearken to neither alledging the strange Chimeraes and extravagant Opinions which Human brains have been subject unto in this latter Age of the World c. Pererius Morphandra an Otter Pererius MAy those starres be ever propitious which guided my cours to this coast may those Winds be ever prosperous which fill'd my sayls any blew me to this rare Iland this Theater of Wonders May this day be ever held Festival and bear one of the chiefest Rubriques in the Almanack of Time that makes me so happy with the sight of Morphandra the divine Morphandra And truly so being descended in so direct a line from the high-born Circe daughter of Sol the admired Queen Morphandra who useth to make Nature her self not only succumbent and passive to her desires but actually subservient and pliable to her Transmutations and Changes Morphandra Prince Pererius for so I understand your quality and appellation to be Touching the
to Infinity We must at length come to some certain Independent Beeing which is not circumscrib'd or limited by another but is of it self essentially and virtually infinit which can be no other than God Almighty A third argument is drawn from the necessary dependance of a Secondary cause upon a First for unlesse we do here also grant a progresse to Infinity which is absurd in mounting up the scale of subordination of causes we must at length meet with one primary both Efficient and Finall cause that hath no other cause superiour or precedent unto it which is onely God Another argument the Soul draweth still by the ministry of Reson to prove a Deity is the constant cours of the Starrs those glorious Luminaries and the continued order of all things else in their first station through all the vicissitudes of corruption and generation which doth forcibly intimat an ubiquitary Providence a wise Rector Governor and Commander upon whose direction all things depend No sooner doth the Soul by such reaches of Reson throughly satisfie her self that ther is a God but she mounts yet higher endeavouring to know what God is But such is the transcendent refulgence of his Majesty that she finds it impossible to look God in the face or to know him à priori yet though she is not able to behold his face yet she hath leave granted to know him à posteriori though she cannot define the incomprehensible Deity yet she may still guided by light of Reson describe him by an aggregation of Attributes To know God by his Attributes is a near approach to his Deity Yet the Rationall soul goes still nearer first prying into his Essence then returning to her self and contriving which way she should know more at length she says within her self Operatio sequitur Esse Action follows its Being Then she busies her self in the contemplation of Gods Actions which she finds either immanent and inward or transient and outward The immanent actions of God are such as are performed intrinsecally within Himself without any externall respect to the creture wherby he is said to contemplat to know and love Himself Here the Soul takes notice of a reflection of the Deity upon it self and so is heightned to the supposition of a Trinity the cardinall and abstrusest point the highest pitch she can soar unto She proceeds to argue that wheras God doth conceive and know Himself he doth beget a perfect Image of Himself from which issueth a perfect Love of Himself and a complacency Now seeing ther is nothing in God which is not God both the Image of God and the Love of God seem to be distinct Subsistences of the same Essence with Him from whom they proceed as when an Eye doth see it self ther is first the Eye seeing secondly the Eye seen or at least the Image of the eye seen from which action of seeing her arises a desire of enjoyment This comparison doth in some sort adumbrat the blessed Trinity First ther is the Eye Secondly ther is a Reflection or Image of the Eye Thirdly ther is a love or complacency which proceeds from both The first is God the Father the Second is God the Son and the third is God the Holy Ghost Now although these three Subsistencies be all concentred in the Deity yet they are distinct each one from the other in their operations ad extra though in immanent or in actions ad intra they are individuall Thus the Human Soul ascends to the knowledge of her Eternall Good by the ministry and reaches of Reson therfore me-thinks you should have an Ambition to be endued with that divine Faculty again and so return to your native soyl from this society of irrationall brute Animals and be a subject to so great a Monarch as the Tumontian King is your naturall liege Lord and Prince whose Dominions are of such a vast expansion that they reach to the very Antipodes the other Hemisphere of the world whereby he may say that the Sun never sets but shines upon som part or other of his Territories every hour of the naturall day all the while Apollo fetches a carreer about the world Mule Touching the first part of this your last discours wherin you so much magnifie the faculty of Reson and that therby you arrive to the notion of heavenly things truly Sir I am of his opinion who held that all the knowledg which man hath of his Creator is but one degree above blindnesse What the eye of a Batt is to the Sun in its Meridian the same is the most perspicacious eye of man's understanding if he look upon his Maker In the state that now I live do not puzzle my brain with such presumptuous reserches and incertain speculations but am contented with the doctrin and dictamens of Sense onely which are more infallible Concerning the last part of your speech it cannot be denied but that the Tumontian King is one of the greatest Potentats that ever was upon earth if his Dominions were contiguous and united but ther is such an unsociable distance between them that the Artonian will tell you His Monarchy is like a great Cloak made up of patches Moreover I have no great comfort to be his subject now because he hath gon down the wind for many years having bin so shreudly shaken in the saddle most of that Country you spoke of which reacheth to the Antipodes being revolted from him and he hath very lately disgorged many a good bit to Artonia Add hereunto that his peeple in Tumontia are grown miserably poor of late years by such insupportable Taxes and drainings of men for the Warrs insomuch that ther are scarce enough left to cultivat the earth Yet such is the rare obedience and the phlegmatic humor of the Tumontians that they are still as awfull they are as conformable and quiet as if ther King were as vertuous as victorious and the least exacter the ever Prince was But this they do for their own advantage for if there were another Governor set up it wold inevitably hurl the whole Country into civill tumults and combustion so the remedy wold be worse than the disease Pererius They shew themselfs a prudent peeple in that for it is in Governments as it is in choice of wifes Seldom comes a better But the Tumontian hath other commendable qualities for besides his constant obedience to his Prince He is also constant to his Religion he is in perpetuall enmity with the common enemy of the Crosse Moreover he never serves any Prince in the warrs but his own nor goes he to trade abroad into and Country but to his own Masters Territories And are not you desirous to be one of that brave Nation again Therfore let me advise you now once for all to shake off that dull despicable shape which useth in naturall production to have no better mother then an Asse Mule Truly Sir you may please as the proverb runs to keep your breath
salt-water is Fox Touching those modern Smatterers in Policy you speak of the times abound with such such that while they take upon them to give Precepts for Government they amuse the Reader with Universalls and commonly ther is deceit in Universalls or rather they lead him to a labyrinth of distinctions wherby they render the Art of mastring Man to be more difficult and distracted then it is in its own nature But under favour the main cause that ther are such difficulties and incertitudes in prescribing generall Rules to govern the Human Creture is the perturbances of his mind his variety of humors his seditious disposition his inconstancies and an itching still after innovations And herein we Irrationall Animals are more obedient more gentle and docile But touching the policy you mention ther be som certain Maxims that may extend to the whole masse of Mankind in point of Government One is That the common peeple be kept still in such an awe that they may not have any power to rise up in Arms or be sharers in the Government and so be their own Caterers to chuse what Laws they please Secondly That ther be a visible standing effectif military strength still in being to keep them in such an awe as well to curb them as to conserve them It being the greatest Soloecism that can be in Government to rely meerly upon the affections of the Peeple in regard there is not such a wavering windy thing not such an humorsom crosse-grain'd Animal as the common Peeple ther is not such a Tyrant in the world if once he get on Horse-back And all Authors that have pretended any thing to policy either old or new affirm so much in their Writings If the Governour in chief hath not such a constant visible Power and moveable upon all occasions the common Peeple will use him as the Froggs in the Fable us'd the Logg of wood whom Iupiter at their importunity had dropt down among them for their King to whom they stood a while in som awe and dread but afterwards finding no motion in him they leapt and skipt upon him in contempt and derision There is another certain principle of policy That public Traitors and Rebells to their Prince and Country shold be dispatched to the other world without mercy for if they be but half punished they will like Snakes get and cling together again therfore 't is a good rule and that may be a proverb hereafter A Rebell and mad Dogg knock in the head They will not bite when they are dead Pererius Had you not told me before yet I shold have judg'd you a Saturnian by the wisdom of your Discours your Compatriots being accounted the prudentest men upon earth for whereas others are said to be wise after the Act others in the Act you are said to be wise before in and after the Act Moreover whereas the Artonian is said to be wiser than he seems to be the Tumontian not to be so wise as he seems the Saturnian is wise and seems to be so Therfore will you return to that noble Country and becom Man and Merchant again of which profession ther are Princes in your Country you well know Fox Ther are so yet I enjoy my self more contentedly in this shape and species I have now a more constant health and if I find my self illish at any time which is seldom I eat a little of the gumm of that Pine-tree and it cures me But I am nothing so subject to distempers of body or mind in this condition Touching the first when Nature hath finished her course in me I will leave it for a Legacy to my friends for 't is good and medicinall for many uses my Brain is good against the Falling-sicknesse my Blood against the Stone and the Cramp my Gall instill'd with Oyle takes away the pain in the ears my Toung worn in a chain is good for all diseases in the Eyes my Fatt healeth the Alopecia or falling off of the hair my Lights Liver and Genitalls are good against the Spleen my very Dung pounded with Vinegar is a certain cure against the Leprosie my Milt is good against Tumors and touching my Skin which is so much valued by the fairest Beauties I will bequeath it to the admired Queen Morphandra to make her a Muff as a small Heriot for her protection of me under her Dominion 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The Seventh Section A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Boar wherin ther are various Discourses and particularly of the rare Sympatheticall Powder that is lately found out which works sudden and certain Cures without any topicall application of Medicines to the part affected c. Morphandra Pererius and a Boar. Morphandra HOw came you off from that cunning Merchant you dealt withall last hath he accepted of the Bill of Exchange you presented unto him Pererius Truly Madame I may say according to the homely proverb that I have received a flapp with a Fox tail he hath plaid the cunning Sophister with me he hath protested against that Bill of Exchange nor will he upon any tearms resume his former shape but retain that which he hath alledging that he is now free from those stings of conscience from those corroding black jealousies from that vindicatif humor wherunto Mankind is subject specially those of his Nation with other molestations of mind He saith that in this feature he is also more healthfull He braggs likewise how many medicinall vertues are in his body after its dissolution from the sensitive soul and how much his skin is valued amongst the fairest Ladies which he intends to bequeath as a Legacy to your Majesty to make you Muffs of when he hath payed Nature the last debt And truly Madame by his acute answers and replies I found that he had the full use of the faculty of human Reson though appeering in that brutish shape which makes me more and more admire your power Morphandra This power the great Architect of the world hath given me I derive this prerogative meerly from Him not as I intimated to you before from any compact or consultation with ill Spirits although the flat and shallow-braind vulgar think I do it so by Magicall and Negromantic means Pererius I know full well Madame the ignorance or rather insulsity of the common peeple to be such that when they find any extraordinary effects produc'd transcending the ordinary course of nature they are presently struck with such an admiration that they think those effects to be done by the work of the Devill though they are operated by strength of Art and by connexion of naturall Agents and Patients properly apply'd as of late years ther is found out a Sympatheticall cure of wounds at a distance without any reall application of medicines to the part affected which kind of sanation they hold to be made by some diabolicall compact though reverà 'tis performed by such ways that do truly agree with the due course of nature by
Politicians of Gheriona 96 A false Policy that makes Religion her mask 95 Policy or the Art of governing Man the hardest 97 Proverbs of severall Nations Who preach War are the Devil's Chaplains 129 The best Policy Gheriona can use is to keep the Carboncian low ibid. The Periodicall motions of the Planets 136 Potentially Man hath in him all created natures 159 A Poem containing the whole History of Man 14 The Prerogative of Angels above Man in a Poem 145 Q Queen Morphandra descended of a Divine race In the Prolog Queen Morphandra did perform all her Transmutations not by any Magicall ways but by the Power and Fiat of God Of Queen Artemesia who rear'd a wonderfull Monument for her husband Mausolus and besides made her own Body his Tomb by taking a doss every morning of his ashes 60 R Reson the specificall difference that distinguisheth Man from Beast 7 The high prerogatives of Reson ibid. Of Roundheads 49 Rebells and mad Doggs must be knock'd in the head 100 Rebels but half punish'd like Snakes cut in few pieces they will cling again together ib. A rare Cure wrought by the Sympatheticall Powder 107 The Reson that Beasts have is onely Direct and capable of Singulars 118 Reson distinguished 120 The Rational Soul the Image and Breath of God Almighty 139 The Rational Soul the Queen of Forms ibid. The Rational Soul a Spark of Immortality ibid. The Rational Soul hath no particular place of residence in Man but is diffusive through all parts ibid. Resons alledg'd that the Rational Soul is traducible 141 A Rare example of the Devotion of Bees 144 S Of a Sea-faring life 9 A Strange horrid dream 32 Of the servitude and ill usage of Women 58 The Serpent cures himself with Fennel 76 Of the Sagacity of som Beasts ibid. The Stagg cures himself with Dittany ibid. The Snail heals her self with Hemlock ibid. The Stork heals himself with Origanum ibid. Spinning out of Time never made good Cloth 80 The Sun never sets on the Tumontian Dominions 83 A strange story of two Saturnian Merchants 91 The Saturnian in the extreams of Love and Hatred of Vertu and Vices 94 The Saturnians may prescribe rules of Prudence to all Mankind 95 Of late Smatterers in Policy 99 Of the Sympatheticall Powder and the rare vertues thereof 103 The Saturnian more subject to jealousie and revenge then other Nations 102 Strings made of Wolf's guts spoil all Music. 116 Strange things of the Wolf ibid. Soldiers in Peace like Chimneys in Summer 127 Symptoms when Bees are sick 138 Some hold Hony to be the sweat of the Hevens others the gelly of the Starrs others the quintessence of the Air. ibid. How a Swarm of Bees built an Altar 144 T The Torments of Hell 40 Two notable Sayings in disparagement of Women 55 Two famous Examples of the gallantry of Women 60 Talk one of the gretest delights of Women 66 The Tumontian in his Councels follows the motion of Saturn in his actions of Mercury 67 The Tumontian excus'd for the blood he spilt in conquering the New World 70 The Tumontian Monarchy like a Cloak made up of patches 84 The Tumontian serves no Prince but his own ibid. The Tumontian trades no where but into his own Kings Country ibid. The Tumontian in perpetuall Feud with the common Enemy ibid. A Town in Saturnia where there are Mountains without Wood Sea without Fish Men without Faith and Women without shame 88 Tall men like houses five stories high the upper room worst furnished 111 A strange Tale of an Ass. 119 A Tale of a Crow ibid. Though the Threed of a man's life be never so well spun yet it hath many bracks 121 Till Beans blossom Bees never go abroad 137 The difference 'twixt separated Souls and Angels and how they agree 145 V Of the vexations and perturbances of spirit that Man is subject unto 7 The Variety of labors that go to make Bread 14 The Vexation of spirit Mankind is subject unto above other cretures 68 The Volganians beat their wife 's duly once a week 68 The Virtues of Deer 63 When all Vices grow old Covetousness grows young in Man 90 Of the Vices in Saturnia 91 Of the Vices of Aetonia III The high Vanities of Man 145 A Visionall Dream 32 The Various torments of Hell 40 Variety of new torments in Hell ibid. W The Wisest of Mortalls is he who controuls his humors In the Epist. Warr a a Fire struck in the Devil's Tinder-box 10 Women of purer stuff then Men. 56 Of rare Women 57 Of good and bad Women 58 The Woman and Fortresse which begin to parly are half won 66 Women held by som to be of an inferior Creation and not the same species 54 A Woman can wash her hands so long in a Bason of clear water that she cannot foul Man not 56 Women praised and dispraised 57 The Warrs with Hydraulia cost the Tumontian a hundred and twenty millions of Tresure 72 The Ways Hydraulia found out to counterfeit the Tumontian Coyn. ibid. The VVild Boar heals himself with Ivy. 76 VVhat the Eye of a Batt is to the Sun the Understanding of Man is to God 83 The great VVilines of a Fox in sundry Fables 88 Of the VVeaknesses and frailties of Man 121 These severall Books are Printed and are to be sould by William Palmer at the Palm-Tree in Fleet-street 1. OCcult Physick or The Principles in Nature Anatomized by Philosophicall operations taken from Experience in three Book by W. Williams in 8º 2. Phil-Anglus Some sober Inspections made into the Carriages and Consults of the late Long Parliament by Iam Howell Esq in 8º 3. Metamorphosis Anglorum or Reflections Historicall and Politicall upon the late Change of Government in England from the Death of Oliver Lord Protector to this present time by S. D. Gent. 4. That renowned Piece Mr. Howell's Dodona's Grove translated into the new refined French by one of the prime Wits in the Academy of Blaux Esprits in Paris in 4º The Art of Stenography or Short-writing with a Schoolmaster to the Art by Iohn Willis And also there are to be had and sold all the pieces of Dr. Heylyns writing
never heard of any Asse that ever spoke unlesse it were in Fables but of one and that was at the appearance of an Angel which was by way of tru Miracle Morphandra Yet I have been told that one of your greatest Philosophers Ammonius Alexandrinus whose Disciple Origen was hath it upon record That an Asse was once an Auditor of Wisdom But touching that Asse you mentioned before I hear the Lawyers of your Country have somthing of his nature in them for they will not speak unlesse Angels appear unto them Pererius 'T is a great truth Madam for our Lawyers toungs are said to be of an humor contrary to the Axle-tree of a new Cart in regard we use to annoint that because it may keep no creaking or noise but the Lawyers toungs must be annointed and oil'd with an Unguentum Rubrum that they may make more noise and to have their tongues more glibb Morphandra The more is the foolishnesse of men discover'd in this point who somtimes out of a pride malice or envy somtimes out of a meer litigious humour use to exhaust their estates and impoverish themselfs to enrich others by this means As I remember to have heard a facetious passage of a wealthy Lawyer who having built a fair Palace of Free-stone with Marble intermix'd and having invited a knowing friend of his to take a view of the new house and observe the symmetry proportion conveniencies of the fabric He asked his friend at last what he thought that House was built of He answered I see 't is built of good Free-stone and Marble The Lawyer replied No Sir 't is a deceptio visûs in you for this house is made of Asses heads and Fools sculls meaning the multitude of Clients he had had To such the proverb may sometimes be applied that as the Asse oftentimes carries gold on his back yet feeds on thistles so many poor Clients carry gold in their pockets to feed their Lawyers yet they fare hard themselfs and are ready to famish But to leave off these impertinences you may please to go on in the pursute of your enterprise to try whether yonder long-ear'd metamorphos'd Animal will bring your intent home to your aim and turn Man Pererius I most humbly kisse your hands and will towards him Poor stupid creture how camest thou to be so unhappily transform'd or deform'd rather by assumption of this shape For I understand by Queen Morphandra that thou wa'st once a Man How much do I pitty thy condition compar'd to that which thou wa'st formerly of Asse Sir you may reserve your pitty for others in regard I need it not for I thank the Fates and Queen Morphandra I enjoy my self and the common benefits of nature viz. Air Earth and Water which are the staple commodities of all sublunary cretures I say I enjoy all these more than ever I did Fenell excepted which is my onely enemy 'T is tru I was once a Man an Artonian born my profession was both a Vineyard-man and a Roturer a poor Peasan I was who for all my labour and toil could hardly gain what could bear up the two columns of life in me viz. the Radicall moysture and Naturall heat much lesse to maintain my wife and family in any vigor Pererius How could that be in so rich and plentifull a country as Artonia is known to be where according to her name Ceres is said to have her chief Granary and Bacchus his prime Cellars where Neptune hath also his principle Salt-pits and whence Venus commonly useth to fetch her smocks Asse 'T is granted that Artonia in fecundity and self-sufficiency yields to no other Region under the Sun which makes some call her a Noun substantive that can stand by it self yet it may well be said that ther 's is no Country under the cope of Heaven where there 's lesse want and more beggars or more people and fewer men The reson of the first to my grief I speak it is that the common stock and wealth of the Country is by Mal-administration so unequally proportion'd and distributed among the Native Inhabitants thereof for the Court and the Clergy suck the greatest part of the fat whence grew the Proverb What the Cheque takes not the Church takes I speak not this because I repine at any acts of piety towards the holy and decent worship of God Almighty and Legacies left by sweet devoted souls Touching the first 't is too well known that the very Tallies besides the Demeans of the Crown and the Customs amount communibus annis to near upon twenty millions of Crowns wherof 't is tru that about four millions were remitted in the year 1648. Then the Gabell of Salt amounts to about seven millions every year which is look'd unto so narrowly that a poor Peasan cannot carry a pocket or purse-full of salt home to his poor wife but he must be searched Then ther are the Taillons Aydes Droits with divers other Impositions and Taxes which though at first they were pretended to be impos'd for the present necessity of the times yet Soveraign Princes are known to have the gift of making Temporary things Eternall in this kind Neverthelesse if this immense tresure went to the King's tresure alone for the common defence and honour of the State it would not so much trouble them that pay it but three parts of four are drunk up among hungry Officers whence grew the proverb that the King's cheese goes away three parts in parings Touching the second by a late computation that was made the Clergy hath in annuall Revenue a hundred and six millions of Crowns and no wonder ther being in that Country besides Cardinals and fifteen Archbishops a hundred and fifty Suffragan Bishops and I know not how many fat Abbots with other Dignitaries Monks and Monasteries without number Then comes in the Noblesse or Gentry which have all the rest Insomuch that betwixt these three the poor Commoner who yet makes up the bulk of the Nation useth to be grinded as betwixt so many milstones whence grew this saying that the Artonian Peasans are born with Chains Yet they are the supporters of all the other three and whence they have their subsistence Insomuch that Artonia may be compar'd to a stately Palace born up by mud-pillars While the poor toyling peasan melts the hoar frost with the sweat that trickles down his cheeks others by good fire-sides drink carowses in the wine which he plants while he with his panting breath and anhelation thickens the air befor him others with Carrolls and wanton musicall Catches do attenuat it Concerning the second point I spoke of viz. That no Country hath more peeple and fewer men then Artonia 't is a truth too well known and the reson is that the oppressed Commons do so languish and groan under the insupportable burdens of the foresaid Exactions and heavy Rents besides to their Landlords that they use to grow so dejected pusillanimous and heartless their spirits come to be
our turn But then we call'd another which was fit for our purpose and we steer'd their courses all the while with a great deal of care The first thing we did was to endue them with a faculty to create fears and jealousies whereof we made excellent use and although those fears and jealousies appeared afterwards to every common man as plain as the nose on his face to be but meer forgeries and supposititious things yet we did still so intoxicat their intellectualls that we made them to adore still the coyners of them And to give your Stygian Majesty among divers others one most pregnant and undeniable demonstration what firm footing we got in that Island we did raise in few years more Pythonesses which the ignorant vulgar call Witches there then ever were in that Country since your Majesty tempted Eve and we enabled our said Pythonesses to send their inferiour Imps abroad upon our service We stood at the King's elbow when he pass'd the Act of continuance wherein a Carboncian was our chief Engineer But the great City Polihaima stood us in most excellent steed to compasse our designes we made the riffraff and rakehells of that wanton City whom som call'd Myrmidons others their Bandogs to rabble the King out of Town we brought also thither the silly Swains of the Country like a flock of Geese to gaggle up and down the streets with papers in their hats they knew not about what We managed the businesse afterwards so dextrously and did aggravate things by degrees that we made their credulous King because he was so profess'd an enemy to your Majesty to go disguis'd in serving-man's habit to his Country-men the Carboncians with whom we prevail'd so far that they delivered him over as a Sacrifice and betraid him Iudas like to the Gherionians who crucified him sufficiently afterwards by tossing and tumbling him up and down by depriving him of the comfort of all things that use to be dear unto man as his wife children friends and servants by working upon his conscience in a compulsatory way and stretching it upon the very tenter In summe we have reduc'd that Country to a conformity with this of your Majesties to a perfect Chaos of all confusion we have brought the sway into the common peeples hands making all the Nobility and Gentry to crouch and cringe unto them And never did common peeple more truly act the part and discover the genius of a common peeple more lively whose nature is still thirsting after novelties and Utopian Reformations though oftentimes they fool themself thereby into a a baser kind of slavery finding when 't is too late those specious idaea's and confus'd forms of Government they apprehended at first and hugg'd in their own conceits to be at last but meer absurdities when they com to the application and practise therof And Sir the most advantageous instruments we have us'd to bring all this about have bin the Pulpit and the Presse by these we diffus'd those supposititious fears and jealousies formerly spoken of to distract the brains of the silly vulgar Instead of Lights we put Firebrands in their Churches who according as we did dictat unto them did baul out nothing but sedition war and blood We have made som of them to have as good an opinion of the Alchoran as of their own Liturgy We made new Ordinances to batter down all the antient Canons of the Church we have made them to un-saint all those who were call'd Apostles to prophane and plunder all places that were consecrated we brought som of them to put a division 'twixt the Trinity it self we have brought them to keep their Fasts more solemnly than the Sabboth upon which day we made them usually not onely to sit in Councell but to put in execution their chief designs of blood To work all this the main and most materiall thing we made use of was spirituall pride your Majesty's old acquaintance which pride we have infus'd into the mind of every Mechanic or Country-Swain who will boldly now undertake to expound any Text of Scripture new or old upon the warrant of his own giddy brain Insomuch that we have made that Book which they call the Bible that was ordained for the Charter of their Salvation to be the chiefest instrument of their Damnation We have brought those exotic words Plundring and Storming and that once abominable word Excise to be now familiar among them they are all made free Denizens and naturaliz'd among them We have made those who came petitioners for peace to the great Councill to be ill intreated and som of them to be murther'd but those that came for warr to be countenanc'd and thank'd We made the mother to betray her child the child the father the husband the wife and the servant his master We have brought a perfect Tyranny over their souls and bodies upon the one by tedious imprisonments and captivity with a forfeiture of all their livelihoods before conviction or any preceding charge upon the other by forcing them to take contradictory Oaths Engagements and Protestations On that foolish superstitious day of Christmas with other Festivals we have brought them to shut up their Churches and to open their Shops and Shambles so that in time they will forget the very memory of the Incarnation of their Saviour We have brought them to have as little reverence of their Temples as of their Tap-houses and to hold the Church to be no more than a Charnell-house of rotten bones And though they still cringe and stand bare-headed before any wrangling Bench of common pleading yet we have so stiffned their joynts and made their heads so tender in that which they call God's House that there they can neither bow the one nor scarce uncover the other We have made the fundamentall Laws to be call'd but meer formalities We have made that which was call'd their Great Charter to be torn to a thousand flitters and stretcht the priviledge of the Commons so wide that it hath quite swallowed the Royall Prerogative and all other priviledges We have grub'd up and cast away those hopefull Plants that grew in their two Seminaeries of Learning and set in them graffs of our own choice We have made the wealth of Town and Country of Poor and Rich to shine in plunder upon the Souldiers backs We have made them command free-quarter of those that were more sitting to ask alms of them We have made them rifle the Monuments of the dead to rob the very Lazaretro to strip the Orphan and Widow We have made them offer violence to the very Vegetables and inanimat Stones to violat any thing that was held holy to make Socks of Surplices to water their beasts at the Font and feed them on the Altar and to term the thing they cal the Sacrament to be but a two-penny Ordinary We have made them use on the close-stoole that Book wherein the public Devotion of the whole Nation consisted In fine we have
Garter-like of hot candent steel I was told that they were design'd for the perjur'd Knights of that Order in Gheriona to wear upon their legs when they com thither for breaking in the late war the solemn Oath they had taken at their Installment to defend the Honour and Quarrells the Rights and Dignities of their Soverain c. Nere unto them I might see brasse hoops glowing with fire and they were Scarfs-like I was told they were ordained for those Knights of the Bath to wear for Ribbands next their skins when they came thither for infringing that sacred Sacramentall Oath they took at their election which was To love their Soverain above all earthly creture and for his Right and Dignity to live and die A little beyond I saw a Copper-table with chairs of the same all candent hot I was told that those were for perjur'd Privy-Councellors who had broke their Oath to their King which obliged them to be tru and faithfull servants unto him and if they knew or understood any manner of thing to be attempted done or spoken against his Majestie 's Person Honour Crown or Dignity they swore to lett and withstand the same to the uttermost of their power and cause it to be revealed either to Himself or any other of his Privy Councill Hard by I saw a little Furnace so glowing hot that it lookt of the colour of a Ruby or Carbuncle I was told that it was to clap in the Master of a King's Jewell-house when he comes thither for being so perfidious and perjurious to his Master Not far off I might see a huge brasse Caudron full of molten lead with som Brewers cruelly tormented therein for setting their own Country on fire I was curious to know whether ther were any other infernall tortures besides those of fire Yes I was answered for to speak of fire to a peeple habituated to a cold Climat were not onely to make them slight Hell but to have a mind to go thither So my Spirit brought me a little Northward and shewed me a huge Lough where ther were frosted Mountains up and down and I might discover amongst them a world of Blew-caps lying in beds of yce with their noses and toes nipt the isicles stuck to their fingers ends like horns and a bleak hispid wind blew incessantly upon them they made the most pitteous noise that me-thought I had heard in all Hell for they wawl'd screech'd and howl'd out ever and anon this dismall note Wea is me wea is me that ever I betraid my gid King Among all those damned souls I desired to see what punishment an Atheist had my Spirit was ready to answer me that ther were no Atheists in Hell at all 't is tru they were so upon Earth before they came hither but here they sensibly find and acknowledge ther is a God by his justice and judgments for ther is here poena sensûs and poena damni ther is inward and outward torture The outward torments you behold are nothing so grievous as the inward regrets and agonies the souls have to have lost Heven wherof they were once capable and to be eternally forsaken by their Creator the Lord of Light their chiefest Good Add hereunto that they know these torments to be endlesse easelesse and remedilesse Besides these qualities which are incident to the damned souls they have neither patience towards themselfs in their own suffrances nor any pitty towards others but their natures is so accursed that they wish their neighbours torments were still greter then their own Moreover their torments never lessen or have any mitigation by tract of time or degrees of sense but they persevere alwaies in the same heighth they are still fresh and the soul made stronger to bear them I saw that everlasting Villain who committed one of the first sacriledges we read of by burning the Temple of Diana whose torments were so fresh and cruciatory upon him as they were the first day he was hurl'd in thither Iudas was in the same degree and strength of torture as he was the first moment he fell thither Iack Cade Wat Tyler Iack Straw and Ket the Tanner did fry as fresh as they did that very instant they were tumbled down thither Amongst whom it made my heart to melt within me when I saw som of their new-com'd Country-men amongst them wherof I knew divers And though society is wont to be some solace to men in misery yet they conceived no comfort at all by these fresh companions It is high time for us now said my good guiding Spirit to be gone to the other world so we directed our cours towards the Ferry upon Styx But Lord what a nomber of lurid and ugly squalid countenances did I behold as I pass'd There was one sort of torment I had not seen before ther were divers that hung by their toungs upon posts up and down I asked what they were answer was made that they were prick-ear'd Preachmen Iudges and Lawyers who against their knowledg as well as against their consciences did seduce the ignorant peeple of Gheriona and Carboncia and incite them to war And ther was a new tenter-hook provided for one gran Villain who pronounced Sentence of death against his own Soverain Prince whose Subject he was and whom by a sacred Oath of Allegiance he was tyed to obey A little further I might see multitudes of Committee-men and others slopping up drops of molten lead in lieu of French Barly-broth with a rabble of Apprentices sweeping the gutters of Hell with brooms tufted with ugly Adders and Snakes because they running into the Wars and leaving their wares had therby broke their Indentures with their Masters and their Oaths of Allegiance to their lawfull Prince Passing then along towards the Ferry a world of hideous shapes presented themselfs unto my sight There I saw corroding cares pannick fears pining griefs ugly rebellion revengefull malice snaky discord oppression tyranny disobedience perjury sacriledge and spirituall pride the sin that first peepled Hell put to exquisit torments Couches of Toads Scorpions Asps and Serpents were in a corner hard by I asked for whom they were prepared I was answered for som Evangelizing Gherionian Ladies which did egg on their husbands to War So having as I thought by a miraculous providence charm'd three-headed Cerberus by pointing at him with the signe of the Crosse upon my fingers we passed quietly by to the Ferry where being com I found tru what Pluto had said before that ther were divers Gherionian Tarpalins entertain'd by Charon but they were in most cruell tortures for their bodies were covered all over very thick and close with canvases pitch'd and tarr'd which continually burnt and flam'd round about them Herewith I got awake again about the dawning of the day and it was high time to do so For lo the golden Orientall gate Of gray-fac'd Heven 'gan to open fair And Phoebus like a Bridegroom to his Mate Came dancing forth shaking his
is ripe and ready to be put in action then he is nimble enough and follows the motion of Mercury Add hereunto that he is not onely slow but wonderfull secret in his counsells insomuch that his designs may be called Mysteries while they are sur le tapis while they are in the agitation of counsell which makes them afterwards turn from Mysteries to Exploits Morphandra But ther was another reson that induced me to transmute that Tumontian Physician to a Mule which was that he oftentimes useth to retard the cure and sanation of his Patients for drawing more fees from them and letting them blood in the purse as also for other Empyricall and Mountibankish Quacking tricks he plaid comming hither Physitian to a Carack Therfore you may please to make your approaches to him accordingly Pererius Poor stupid Animal how camest thou to be thus so pitifully disguis'd and transform'd from thy first species and so honourable a profession for among all other vocations of life they say the Physitian is to be honoured Art thou desirous to be re-invested and setled in thy first Nature and Calling in case Queen Morphandra condescend therunto for I have power from her to feel how thy pulse beats that way Mule Truly no for I have an utter disaffection both to my first Species to my Country and Calling in regard I find far more contentment in this constitution of body and course of life Touching the first I am as I am now free from those vexations of spirit and perturbances of mind wherunto Mankind is so miserably obnoxious or rather inslav'd I feed here upon pure simples such as the gentle earth produceth and puts out of her prolificall womb my stomack is never overcharg'd with surfeits nor my brain intoxicated with strong drink and the juyce of the grape in every berry whereof ther lurks a kind of Devill for according to the modern proverb From the berry of the Grape and grain of the Barly Comes many a sore fray and hurli-burly Moreover when I was a Man my head was distracted ever and anon with strange whimseys and extravagant opinions which now I am free from Pererius 'T is tru that human brain is like a garden wherin sundry sorts of herbs and flowers do grow but touching your Country-men they are least subject of any peeple to such distractions and diversity of opinions in regard of their exact obedience to their Spirituall and Civill Governours But what is the cause that you are so out of conceit with your Country where you received your first essence and existence Mule First because of the immoderat heat therof the Sun being too lavish of his beams which causeth such a sterility and barrennes that in som places men live like beasts feeding most of all upon grasse and sallets onely they have haply a bottle of Oyl and another of Vinegar in their houses to pour amongst them they seldom see a loaf of bread or bit of meat but when noon or night comes they go abroad and gather the said grasse for their dinners and suppers and if they chance to have a few toasted Chesnuts 't is a great banquet Which barrennes proceedeth not so much from the heat of the Clime as from the paucity and lazines of the Inhabitants who are so naturally given to ease and sloth from cultivating the earth and doing other parts of industry Pererius It must be granted that Tumontia in point of fecundity is inferiour to som Regions as also for nomber of men for if she had enough of both she wold make a Hen of the Cock that is she wold be too hard for her next neighbour Artonia But touching the first it carrieth som convenience with it for it keeps the peeple more temperat and able to endure hardship Then the Country is not so subject to be over-run by forren force for in point of Invasion an Army wold be hunger-starv'd there before they could march far Yet I have observed that as much as ther is of any commodity in Tumontia it is better then what grows in other Countries their Wines their Flesh their Fruits their Horses their Silks their Wool c. is better there than in other places and let Artonia her neighbour never vaunt so much of her plenty yet the Tumontian carrieth a better cloak on his back he wears better shoos on his feet he hath a better sword by his side he drinks better wine eats better fruit and hath a better horse under him c. than the Artonian And if Riches consists in Tresures in plenty of Gold and Silver Tumontia goes far beyond all other Countries in that particular Mule 'T is tru that the Tumontian King is Master of the Mines both of Gold and Silver yet if you go to the common peeple one may say Who goes worse shodd than the Shoo-maker's wife for by mal administration ther is little of that gold and silver that 's current among the Inhabitants either among Merchant Yeoman or Artist but all is a base Copper-coin which the King enhanceth or decries at plesure That tresure you speak of is sent abroad to feed and foment wars in other countries from which the Timontian King is never free his sword being alwaies out of the scabbard to secure or enlarge his Territories which makes the Artonian say that the Tumontian Ambition hath no Horrizon it is interminable and boundlesse Add hereunto that the Tresure you mention is an exoticall commodity 't is had from far from another part of the world where the Tumonitan is said to be a Buggerer of his common Mother the Earth more than any for he fetches it out from her bowells somtimes 50 fathom deep where the poor slave that digs it sees neither Sun Moon nor Stars once in a twelmonth being chain'd to a kind of infernall darknesse under ground and is as it were buried alive before Nature hath out-run her due cours in him And it is a sad story to relate how many millions of human cretures were made away in the discovery and conquest of that huge Continent what a world of blood was spilt and innocent souls swept away Insomuch that if the Tresure which was got ever since and the Blood which was shed were put in counter-scales the latter as one said wold outpoise the first Pererius 'T is tru that the reduction of that vast piece of Earth was somwhat Tragicall but it was impossible to perform the work otherwise and secure the Conquerors in regard of that huge masse of Peeple and swarms of Men which were found there who could not by fair means be brought to civility Now it is a dubious question to determin whether those Savages gain'd more by the Tumontian or the Tumontian by them 'T is tru that he got by them Gold Silver and Gemms which 't is confessed are the most pretious productions of Nature But what did they receive from the Tumontian by way of exchange They recived Religion and vertu civility and
no he did in a manner grind his razers and tusks and extreamly froam at his own Country-men taxing them of divers vices He prickt up his bristles like a Porcupine as if he would have darted them So I left him at a Bay Morphandra I spy another transmuted Animal in that Thicket it is a Wolf who was once a Soldier of Fortune and a Cuprinian Free-booter you may try whether you can take him by the ears for you will find him tame enough Pererius I have leave from gracious Queen Morphandra to conferr with you and know whether you have an inclination to return to your Country and Calling again If you have she is ready to unlycanthropize you from this Wolfish shape to your former condition Wolf Touching my Country and Calling they are both alike they are both naught therefore I have no affection to either For the first 't is a pittifull cold and coorse Country being so remote from the Sun which made a generous Queen lately to leave both Crown and Country Touching the second 't is a profession for the devill to be hir'd for about three shillings a week to kill men I was once of that Calling and I with my Camerades did a world of mischief to the poor Boors up and down the Country therefore it was very just that Queen Morphandra should transform me to this shape Pererius Yet you know that the profession of Arms is noble for every Soldier is a Gentleman by his profession And touching the coldness of your Clime it puts mettle and the more vigor in the Combatant for they say that a Cuprinian fights best when he sees his own breath which is in frosty weather You know also what great atchievments and exploits your two last Kings have done to their eternall glory and the renown of your Country Wolf 'T is tru the last two Kings have done some feats of Chivalry yet the world took them to be but Usurpers Touching the first he was killd in the midst of his manhood wherby Caesar against whom he warr'd got a full revenge of him And for the present King the world wonders that it was not sufficient for him to enjoy quietly the Kingdom of Cuprinia which belongs by right to Nopolia but he must make warr against that King to whom he shold de jure owe allegiance And had he conquer'd Nopolia his ambition had not terminated there but he haply had visited Saturnia and so as the Goths and Vandalls of old he had troubled the repose of all the Western world But as far as he hath gone what miserable devastations hath he made how hath he ruined the flourishing Trade of those Countrys which are so full of great Mercantile Towns both upon fresh and salt waters so full of usefull and necessary commodities And had he compleated his Zundanian designe he had given Law to all the Occidentall Princes which Hydraulia sagaciously smelt out and so timely prevented him Pererius And have not you a naturall desire rather to be again one of that warlick and adventurous Nation than to continu in this hatefull and rapacious nature Wolf Truly I may be said to be of as rapacious a nature when I was a Cuprinian for he is us'd to pick any quarrell with those that are weaker than himself of purpose to devour them As I remember to have read of the Wolf in the Fable who finding a young Lamb and intending to devour him fell a coining of reasons why he would do it and so told him that he and his generation had don him wrong from time to time Helas said the Lamb how could that be for I am but newly com into the world I but quoth the Wolf you eat up my grasse The Lamb replyed How can that be Sir for I have yet no teeth in my head I but you drink up my water quoth the Wolf again That cannot be neither Sir said the Lamb for I never knew what water is hitherto in regard I feed altogether upon my mothers milk 'T is not your reasons replied the Wolf again can confute my appetit for I mean to sup plentifully this night and so devour'd him But the same fate may attend the Cuprinian King as befell the Wolf-fish who living in a River where all the fish were lesser then himself they all admir'd honor'd and fear'd him as if he had bin their King He thinking to enlarge his Dominions thought to go to the Sea to be King there but meeting with the Dolphin in his way he was presently devour'd Or as Aesop's Dogg passing by a River with a good piece of flesh in his mouth and the shadow of the flesh appeering in the water he snapt at it thinking it had been real flesh and so lost that which he had in his mouth So the Cuprinian King may hap to lose his own Territories while he thinks to devour others Pererius Well well will you shake off that ugly shape and put on Man again and go along with me towards your own Country Wolf Truly no for I have tryed both natures and find this to be far better for I have now no airy aspiring desires in me no ambitious thoughts or other perturbances and inquietudes of mind Moreover I find this shape of body to be far more healthfull nor is this species lesse honourable A Wolf was the Crest of the first Arms of Rome in regard the King who trac'd the foundation of that glorious City and denominated her after his own name was nurs'd up miraculously by a Wolf Ther have bin many famous men of that name as Lupus Fulvius a Roman Poet Lupus Servatus a memorable Priest and Lupus de Oliveto a Saint-like Monk Ther is a kind of Holines also in this species for they never engender but in the twelve days of Christmas Ther is likewise a mysterious quality in this species for if a Wolf sees a man first the man grows hoarse If the tail of a Wolf be hung in the Cratch of Oxen they cannot eat If a Horse treads in the foot-steps of a Wolf he cleaves fast as if he were frozen Nay if a Mare big with Foal tread in the place where a Wolf had trodden it causeth abortion and will make her presently to cast her Foal Lastly strings made of VVolfs guts have that predominance in Music that if they be put among other strings ther wil never be any Consort 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The Ninth Section A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra Pererius and a Goat consisting of many quaint Discourses both Naturall and Metaphysicall with other Criticisms c. Morphandra Pererius and a Goat Pererius MAdame I could not take that VVolf by the ears to lead him home to his own Country which he bitterly inveighs against and against the humor of the peeple as also against his former profession of a Souldier tacitly intimating that War is the chiefest seminary of Theeves according to the proverb La guerre fait les larrons la paix les
ameine au gibet War makes the Thief and peace brings him to the gallows Therfore he prefers rather to passe his life peaceably under your Government than to be in Cuprinia where of late years men are so press'd for the Warrs to serve the ambition of their Kings that the whole Country is so drain'd that ther 's scarce any left but women old men and children Therfore he is very well pleas'd with this lycanthropy But Madame I spy a bearded Animal nibling upon the brow of that crag I desire by your favour to have som discours with him for by his long beard he shold have bin som Philosopher and so have more wit in him than other animals Morphandra You shall very willingly but I will tell you what he was before He was an Orosian born and I transform'd him to that shape for being a Mountaineer and for having aspiring thoughts with other resons Pererius I 'le go and accost him Sir will you please to come down hither into the plain for I have very good news to impart unto you that will make you skip for joy Goat I pray excuse me it is against my nature to descend if I did I should haply prove more foolish than the Goat in the Fable who being invited and perswaded by the fair speeches of the Lion to come down and feed in the medow where he was being come down the hungry Lion devoured him presently Pererius You need not apprehend any such fears here but I will come to you Queen Morphandra tells me that you were an Orosian born a very antient and noble Nation Have you a disposition to return thither to resume the shape of Man and to be again the child of Reson Goat What do you mean by Reson I think the shape and species I now am in are capable of Reson for we can distinguish 'twixt good and bad 'twixt what is noxious or profitable for us we have also the same organs the same cells and receptacles in the brain as man hath for to lodg Reson and the celestiall bodies pour the same influences upon us as they use to do upon the human Creture Pererius It cannot be denied but you have an Instinct that acts according to Reson and it may be call'd Instinctive Reson But the Reson that Beasts have is limited to corporeall objects to the necessities onely of life to find out food and shelter and bring up their young ones it s onely direct Reson that 's capable of Singulars it s restrain'd to an opinionative faculty it s a meer shadow of ours much like the objects that our fancy represents to us in sleep And this Instinct in Beasts is as much inferiour to Reson in Man as Reson in man is inferiour to Intelligence and Intuitions in the blessed Angells Goat Yet Sir it must be granted that actions whose successes are so well ordered actions which have so well regulated a progresse and concatenation so exactly tying the Mediums to the End must needs be performed by the guidance and light of tru Reson and such actions you know sensitive cretures daily perform With what art do Birds build their nests the Fox his hole the Badger his chamber with what caution do they preserve their young ones and fence them from the injury of the Hevens how punctually do they keep their haunts But what do you think of Pliny's Elephant repeating his Lesson at Moon-shine or of Ptolomey's Stagg that understood Greek of Plutarch's Dogg who could counterfeit the very convulsions of death of the Ape that could play at Chesse and another that had learnt som touches on the Guittern What think you of Caligula's Horse who was made Consul had not he Reson in him What think you of the Asse who being us'd to carry burdens of Salt over a Foord was us'd to stumble and fall constantly in such a place that therby the salt melting away into water his burden might be the lighter but his Master lading him with a tadd of Wool he fell at his usuall place but being helped up again and he feeling the pack of wool heavier in regard of the water that got in he never stumbled any more in the Foord after that time What think you of the Crow that in the time of a great drowth finding water in the bottom of a barrell and being fearfull to go down carried so many stones in her beak that letting them fall down they forc'd the water to rise upwards towards the top and so she dranck safely and at ease I pray were not all these not onely Instinctive but Discoursive Resons Pererius I confesse that he who denies a kind of Reson and Resoning also to brute Animals may be questiond whether he be master of Reson himself yet this Reson and Resoning looks upon present and particular notions onely But human Reson extendeth to universall notions out of the reach of sense which cannot be without abstractions and som reflections it hath on it self which Beasts cannot attain This Reson that is conversant with Universalls is the tru specificall difference 'twixt Man and Beasts It is the portion and property of Man alone whereby he hath the Soverainty over all over his fellow-cretures throughout all the Elementary World Ther is Intuitive ther is Discoursive and ther is Instinctive Reson the first is proper to Angels the last to Brute Animals and the second to Man who can contemplat and discourse of generalls and things absent And these three differ in excellency as the three degrees of Comparison Goat Yet though you excell us as you say in this kind of Reson ther 's many of us that surpasse you in strength and quicknesse of sense as the Eagle in seeing for he can look upon the Sun in the Meridian with full open eyes and not be dazzled the Hare can hear better and the Dogg goes far beyond you in smelling as also the Stagg therefore when he is removed from one Park to another you use to muzzle him and carry him in close Carts that he may not smell the way back again And there be examples to admiration of this kind Pererius Though som Beasts smelling be beyond ours in respect of celerity and way of reception yet in point of dijudication differencing the variety of smels which proceeds from the Rationall Soul we surpasse them Therfore though we cannot see as Eagles nor hear as Hares nor smel as well as Doggs yet Hands Speech and Reson makes amends for all The composition also of the body being Erect is advantagious the caus of which Erection after the beholding of Heven is the exercise Arts which cannot be done in another figure Mans body is likewise the most copious of organs and though born naked yet this nakednesse cuts out work for Reson It abounds also more with Animal spirits and heat it hath long feet that the body might be more steedy and his head is built upward like a Castle or Watch-tower in the upper Region Goat This
I am in half despair of prevailing with any of these metamorphos'd Animals they live so peaceably under your Dominions and so contentedly in these shapes Morphandra You have treated hitherto onely with Terrestriall Creturs try what you can do upon that Volatil that sooty-clour'd Soland-Goose who was by the first institution of nature a Carboncian born but had liv'd in great plenty and honor in the Gherionian Court yet out of a crosse-grain'd foolish humor he kick'd against his own King and Country-man and so fell to be a slave to a new race of Governours from being a free-born Subject before Pererius Poor Goose you need not gaggle nor fear any thing for I bring you good tydings and the best that possibly can befall you Queen Morphandra by my mediation is pleased to retransfigure you to human shape and let you go again to Carboncia your native Soyl and dear Country Goose. Truly Sir I have lost all affections to both I am onely out of conceit with the one but I abhor the other I had rather turn Cacodaemon than a Carboncian again What a pittifull coors cold Clime is Carboncia it hath neither the warm Sun nor Gods blessing it were a punishment for the worst peeple upon earth to be removed thither Rather then I shold return to Carboncia my wishes shall be that of the Poet Pone me pigris ubi nulla campis Arbor aestiva recreatur aurâ Quod latus mundi nebulae malusque Jupiter urget Let me to those black boggy Heaths repair Where Tree was ne're refresht by Vernall Air That side of earth where Jove himself is bad And with dark squalid Clowds goes always clad Yet the Clime is good enough for the Inhabitants were it worse They brag of a hundred and odd Kings but of these Kings above the one half came to violent deaths judg you then of the disposition of the Peeple And for their two last Kings they sold and sent away one to the fatall Block and made a sacrifice of him to the Gherionian for a summ of mony And for the other before they wold Crown him their King they propos'd that he shold acknowledg his Father a Tyrant and his Mother an Idolatresse a thing so abhorring to Nature Pererius I find you are extreamly incens'd against your own Country and your Conterraneans I pray what 's the reson of this strange and violent aversion Goose. I told you partly before but I will enlarge my self further and deduce matter from their first rise Carboncia and Gheriona were in a sweet and sound peace with affluences of all felicities when som Carboncian Soldiers of Fortune return'd from the Cuprinian Warrs richly laden with spoils they came strutting into the Gherionian Court the Aetonian plunder shining upon their backs in gold and silver lace These military Commanders expecting to receive som honors from the Gherionian King for their services in Aetonia though none of them had received any Commission from him nor fought on his score Others looking for som office at Court and missing their aim that way som of them went to Carboncia discontented and fearing the stock they had got in the Cuprinian Warr wold quickly consume and having no other trade but fighting they fell to devise a way how to cast a bone 'twixt Gheriona and Carboncia that they might have employment Therfore they set on som prick-ear'd hot-pated Preachmen who were in a kind of subjection unto them for their Stipends to give out That Gheriona was on her way to Antichrist again thus the Pulpits did ring of invectives and calumnies against Gheriona's Church-Government Yet all this while there was not matter enough for an actuall Insurrection or to fire the Beacons till by wily artifices of som of the said discontented Great ones Gheriona's Liturgy was sent among them to be put in practise This was cryed up to be the gretest Idoll that ever came to their Kirk and so the common peeple in a furious unheard-of manner outrag'd those who read it The King having notice hereof sent a gracious Declaration That wheras he had onely commended unto them not commanded that public form of divine Worship wherin he himself did punctually and publickly twice a day perform his duty to Heven he did it out of a pious intention to beget an Uniformity as well as an Unanimity of public Devotion in all his Dominions and as it was already practis'd in Gheriona and Hebrinia so he desir'd it shold be us'd also in That his Native Country But since he understood it produc'd such tumultuous consequences he was contented absolutely to revoke it for it was never his intent to presse the practise therof upon any conscience c. Therfore he requir'd that every one shold return to his former obedience offring an Amnestia for what had pass'd But this wold not serve the turn for ther was a further designe in it which was to destroy the Hierarchy and so make havock of the Patrimony of the Church Hereupon the whole Country put it self in Arms and so those Soldiers of Fortune spoken of before brought their work about and got employment For Soldiers in time of Peace are like Chimneys in Summer They thought to rush into Gheriona with an Army yet they gave it out to the world they came as Petitioners So the Carboncian shewed Subjects the way to present Petitions to their Souverain upon the Pikes point to bring a Supplication in one hand and a Sword in the other or as one said the Bible in the left and the Blade in the other hand Pererius This was an odious Rebellion in the highest degree for Subjects to right themselfs by Arms and wage Warr with their own Souvrain Prince It is very observable that when God pleased to punish any of the Kings of Israel he did not do it with the Iews their own Subjects but with the Philistines and other forrain Nations whence it may be strongly inferr'd that it was never allow'd by the Laws of God or Man that Subjects shold rise up in Arms against their lawfull King Goose. Yet the Carboncian rush'd thrice into Gheriona against their own native King having therby a greter share in him in the compasse of lesse then two years and he was dismissed Fidler-like with meat drink and mony Though in former times Gheriona was us'd to dismis the Carboncians whensoever they infested her borders with other kind of metalls viz. with good steel and iron in lieu of gold and silver Pererius These were strange and uncouth hateful traverses that a Nation shold prove so perfidious to their own Prince a Prince born in the bowells of their own Country whose Father besides Himself had obliged and laden them with so many signall and singular favors Therefore ther was here a complication of many ugly things ther was Rebellion ther was Ingratitude and Unnaturalnes for had he bin born elsewhere I shold not have so much wondred at it Goose. Nay I will tell you more when their said
Hierarchy And can endure to see and face alone The glorious Beatific Vision A joy which all joys else transcends so far As doth a morning Sun the meanest Star Archangels Angels Saints Souls sever'd may yee stil The Empyrean Court with Halleluiahs fill Infantium Cerebri Sextus Post Quadraginta Gloria laùsque Deo saeCLorVM in saecVla sunto A Chronogrammaticall Verse which includes not onely this year 1660. but hath Numericall Letters enow to reach above a thousand years further untill the year 2867. Heic Terminus esto AN ADVERTISEMENT Relating to ORTOGRAPHY THer is a Saying that hath gain'd the repute of a Proverb though it be also a kind of Reproach That the French neither sings as he pricks nor thinks as he speaks nor speaks as he writes The first proceeds from abundance of spirits and his volatil airy nature The second from his Exces of Complements The third because he wold have his Language retain still of the Romand or Latin Toung Therfore when he writes Temps Corps Estoille Advocats c. which com from Tempus Corpus Stella Advocati he pronounceth them Tan Cors Etoilis Avocà The English may be said to be as guilty hereof for if the French writes Apres la tempeste vient le beau temps and pronounceth Apre la tampete vien le bou tan After a Storm comes a Calm If the French writes Les Advocats bastissent leuers maisons de testes de fols and pronounceth Les avocà batisset leur mesons de tete de fous Lawyers build their houses of Fools heads viz. Clients The English comes not short of him for wheras he writes God give you good Evening he often saies Godi godin Wheras he writes Much good may it do unto you he often pronounceth Musgiditty The French do labor daily to reform this and to bring both Writing and Pronounciation to be consonant by retrenching the superfluous letters for wheras they were used to write Les Epistres que les Apostres ont Escrit they now write as they pronounce Les Epitres que les Apotres ont ecrit It hath bin the aim of the Author in this Book and others to do the like though the Presse did not observe his Ortography so punctually Now Strangers use to quarrel with our Language and throw away the Book in a chase somtimes because our writing and pronunciation are so differing For when a stranger meets with treasure measure feature reader weather people c. he pronounceth tre-asure me-asure fe-ature re-ader we-ather pe-ople When he meets with witnesse sicknesse wittie prettie pittie starre warre c. he pronounceth witness-e sickness-e witti-e pretti-e pitti-e starr-e warr-e c. Wheras if we wold write them as wee pronounce them viz. Tresure mesure feture reder wether peeple witnes sicknes witty pretty pitty star war c. which gives altogether as full a prolation strangers wold not find such a difficulty and distast in learning our Language It hath bin and is still the endevor of the Author to reform this as also to bring those words which are derived from the Latin Toung to follow her Ortography rather then the French wherby divers Letters are sav'd as Magic Tysic Colic Favor Lahor c. not Magique Physique Cholique Favour Labour c. For as it is a Principle in Philosophy Encia non sunt frustra multiplicanda Entities are not to be multiplied in vain so it may as well hold in Ortography That Letters are not to he multiplied to no purpose Add hereunto the Topicall Rule as the Author observes els-where Frustra sit per plura quod fieri potest per pauciora More is waste wheâ—… fewer will serve one turn THE INDEX A more particular Account of the Ingredients that went to the Composition of this Work A Fol. THe Art of governing Man the most difficult 26 An Asse's body medicinall for many things after death Ibid. The Antipathy 'twixt an Ape and a Snail 50 Aristotle Secretary of Nature's Cabinet-Councell 55 Ambition hath no Horizon 70 Aristotle held that in the Female there was no active principle of Generation 55 Confutation of the said Opinion Ibid. Apelles painted a good huswife standing upon a Snail 58 Aristotle inconstant to himself where he treats of Policy 98 The Affections of the Peeple an imperfect security to a Prince 99 Of Atoms 103 The Activity of Atoms 104 The Application of the Sympatheticall Powder 106 Aetonia characteriz'd 108 Aetonia full of mongrell Princes 109 The advantages of the Human body 120 An Asse cannot abide Fennell 18 Artonia a Noun Substantive that can stand by it self ibid. The Artonian Peasan born in chains 19 Of Artonia with the plenty and beggery thereof 18 Of the great Artonian Favorit 21 The Austerities of Nuns 134 B Bees how usefull after death 138 Bees bodies pounded good against many diseases ibid. The Books of the Dead enliven the Living In the Epist. Brute Animals more easie to be govern'd than Mankind 99 Of the Beast with many heads viz. the Common peeple ibid. The Brains of a Fox good against the Falling sicknes 100 The Blood of a Fox good against the Stone and the Cramp ibid. A dead Boar hath nothing bad in him but his Excrements 112 The Brains of a Boar good against the bitting of Serpents ibid. The Blood of a Boar good against Carbuncles ibid. Boar's liver good against the biting of a mad Dogg ibid. Boar's lard good to make broken bones firm ibid. Boar's testicles good against the Falling sicknesse ibid. Boar's dung good against all venomous bitings as also against the pain of the Spleen and Sciatica ibid. A Boar being dead hath many vertues and why ibid. How Beasts go in many things beyond Man 120 The Carboncian sells his King 129 A Bees Hive the chief Confectionary of Nature 134 C The Conduct of the Passions the greatest prudence and the Conquest of them the greatest prowesse In the Epist. Children a certain care but an incertain comfort 24 Comparisons 'twixt the Body Politic and the Natural 48 Censures pro con of Tumontia 69 A rare comparison of the holy Trinity 83 A City in Saturnia where husbands use to get their wife 's with child a hundred miles off 88 A Character of Saturnia 89 Of the gripes of Conscience 90 Of Covetousnes ibid. The Common peeple a cross-grain'd Animal 99 A Comparison touching the Tomanto Empire 109 The Character of an Aetonian 111 Of Cuprinia 114 The Cuprinian compar'd to a Wolf 115 The Cuprinian had vast designes 114 A Carboncian turn'd to a Soland-Goose and the resons why 125 Carboncia a coors Country ibid. Carboncia's brag of her Kings 126 Carboncia's late story ib. Carboncia found Fidlers fare in Gheriona 128 The Country of Gheriona good but the peeple bad 131 A high Complement 135 Concupiscence not given to Mankind for a torment but for delight ibid. F A Description of the Morning 48 A Discours of Woman-kind 56 A Devill lurks in every berry of the Grape 68 Divers