reason to thinke my self his child First the child ought to resemble the father Our Sauiour saith Ye shall therefore be perfect as your father which is in heauen is perfect But there is in me no part of the perfection of God either in the vertues of my minde or in the workes of my life and the Apostle Saint Peter saith As obedient children fashion not your selues vnto the former lusts of your ignorance but as hee which hath called you is hoâ—…y so be yee holy in all manner of conuersation because it is written be yee holy for I am holy And if yee call him father which without respect of person iudgeth according to euery mans worke passe the time of your dwelling here in feare By this rule of Peter they which call God their father ought to be holy as he is holy but I am altogether profane They ought to passe the time of their life reuerently in the feare of God but I haue beene and am a contemner of him and their doings should not be after the lusts of their own heart that beare sway in the daies of ignorance but I neuer followed other rule then the lusting of mine owne heart I neuer stroue to suppresse and mortifie them Yea my whole course of life doth proue mee to be the child of another father that hath no place in heauen but was cast out thence for sinne The Lord Iesus said vnto the Iewes Ye are of your father the deuill and the lusts of your father yee will doe Much more rightly by triall of my deedes may it bee said to mee thou art of thy father the deull and the lusts of that father of thine thou hast done While my sinnes thus daily come to remembrance how can I cal God my father And who can call God his father that hath not the spirit of God dwelling in him as the seale and earnest of his inheritance of which spirit Paul speaketh thus Yeâ—… haue receiued the spirit of adoption whereby we cry abba father the same spirit beareth witnesse with our spirit that we are the children of God But this spirit dwelleth not in me if this spirit were in me I should feele at one time or other and in one measure or other the comfortable testimony of that spirit but I feele nothing but feareful horror in my conscience oh that I had and might feele the comfort of this spirit my present tentation witnesseth the absence of it Also if I had the spirit of God in mee the fruits of that spirit would bud and shew forth themselues in mee but all is contrary The Apostle Paul saith the fruit of the spirit is loue ioy peace long suffering gentlenesse goodnesse faith meekenesse and temperance There is none of these to be seene in mee but the fruits of the flesh are plentifull in mee With them I am ouergrowen both in body and soule The Apostle reckoneth them vp in this order The workes of the flesh are manifest which are adultery fornication vnclâ—…annesse wantonnesse idolatry witchcraft hatred debate emulation wrath contention seditions herefies enuy murders drunkennesse gluttony and such like And in these sinnes I haue liued and dwelt and delighted if not in all yet in many of them and if not in many yet in some of them inough to quench the spirit of God if the fire thereof had at any time beene kindled in mee How then can it be that I should haue the holy Ghost And not hauing the holy Ghost how can I call God my father and if I haue no right nor power to call God my father that leaue to craue the forgiueuesse of sinnes and that hope to obtaine forgiuenesse of sinnes which are grounded vpon that commandement of Iesus pertaine not to mee Alas how ingenious men are in the daies of affliction when the burden of accusing thoughts lies heauy vpon them to dispute against themselues They haue not vnderstanding enough to apprehend and taste any thing that is spoken for their comfort but they haue wit to finde out and vtterance to pronounce and feruent passion to vrge any thing that may make for their discomfort But let vs helpe to remoue these stumbling-blockes from before these mens feete that they may walke on in hope and come vnto God by praier Thou thinkest that by that commandement of Christ there is giuen to thee no leaue to aske forgiuenesse of sinne â—…orhope to obtaine forgiuenesse of sin because it is to be craued of an heauenly father And thou canst not call God thy heauenly father thou thinkest thâ—… he is not thy father and that thou nâ—… not his sonne And thou hast two reasons to proue this to thine owne heart First because neither thy vertues noâ—… thy actions doe in any thing resemble God but rather proue thee to be the child of another father opposit to God and secondly because thou hast not the spiâ—…it of adoption to crie Abba Father For thou neither feelest the restimony oâ—… that spirit in thine heart neither doest thou see the fruits of that spirit in thy life but al things euery where contrary I mislike not that thou doest holdâ—… meane opinion of thy selfe and censâ—…rest thy selfe vnworthy the title of Godâ—… child and that thou thinkest honorably of the spirituall kinred that is betweene God and his saints But be of good comfort God saâ—…leth not to be thy father because thou thinkest him not to be neither failest thou to be his child because thou darest not thinke thy selfe to bee his child And these words vrged against thy selfe are no other then the words of the prodigall vnthrift spoken of in the Gospell who in his vertues and actions did nothing as yet resemble his father for hee hanted harlots and liued riotously being euery way as sinfull as thou canst with any words make thy selfe and when by aduersity he was brought to consider of his life and estate as thou now doest he had that opinion of himselfe that thou now hast thinking it not fit to take vnto himselfe the title of a sonne His words are thus set downe by Saint Luke I will a rise and goâ—… to my father and say to him father I haue sinned against heauen and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy sonne Compare thy selfe with him thou canst not be worse then hee not in thy life more vnlike thy heauenly father neither canst thou be in worse case then he was He for sooke his fathers house and was departed far from God knowing very well from whence he was departed Hee neuer had minde to returne backe againe till misery compelled him of whom we neede not feare to say for it is plaine and cleare that no loue to his father nor to his fathers house but pinching necessity and extreame misery made him a conuert And while hee was abroad what was his course the euangelist telleth vs he wâ—…sted his goods with riotous liuing That is all the blessings
or wealths to stand a blanke a cypher ◅ blot and an impediment either in common wealth or Church and to be an offence in the eye both of God all good men and to seeke to get his liuing by honest labour in some other calling that he hath bene better fitted for as Zacharie reporteth the words of some idle Prophets in their repentance as namely That he should no more weare a rough garment that is the robe of the Prophets profession that he was vnfit for and he should say I am no Prophet I am an husband man for man taught me to be an heardman from my youth That is I was neuer brought vp and fitted for the seruice of a Prophet where into I did foolishly thrust my selfe and therefore I will leaue that calling vnto more sufficient men and whereas I was brought vp to the trade of a husband-man heard-man I will henceforth follow that calling that I may eate my bread with a good conscience with Gods blessing though my reputation and maintenance be lesse This is to cast thy burden vpon God If thy ambition and couetousnes did not make thee intrude but men had good opinion of thy sufficiencie as Pharao had of Iosephs wisdome thou hast vsed no cunning to draw them to haue such opinion of thee but they simplie out of their owne obseruation iudged well of thee and imposed a charge vpon thee not being yet so ripe in iudgemēt and otherwise as thou wouldest be and hadst neede to bee in this case there is a good calling of God to giue thee hope of his further helpe though as yet thou be but as Dauid was the youngest among many brethren And the testimonie of thine owne conscience cle◅ring thee from intrusion is some ease of thy burden Plead thine honest calling plead thy cleere conscience before God and craue his fauour and if they that did chuse thee will not discharge thee pray to God for increase of strength craue the helpe of their prayers that laid the burden vpon thee and bend thy selfe with good hope vnto thy busines It is written that out of the mouthes of babes and sucklings God ordaineth strength hope well therefore in thy diligent indeuour of the assistance of God and remember what the Lord Iesus answered to Paul my grace is sufficient for thee my power is made perfect through weaknes and what the Apostle saith of himselfe assisted with this sufficient grace of Iesus Christ. I am able to doe all things through the helpe of Christ that strengthneth me and make vse of these testimonies studying striuing praying and vsing all meanes and helps for increase of sufficiencie And take that as spoken to thee that Paul spake to Timothi◅ These things exercise and giue thy selfe vnto them that it may be seene how thou profitest among allmen This is the waie of casting this burden vpon God If thy sufficiencie be good and thy diligence answerable so that thy conscience witnesseth that thy labour in the Lords Vineyard is faithfull labour but the effect answereth not and the work goeth not forward because the re are that oppose their vtter most power against thy labours to crosse the successe of them And there is scarce any one good worke that a man of publike calling can take in hand but the Diuell hath one instrument or other to crosse the attempt and hinder the successe so did the Sorcerers of Egypt withstand the message of Moses and Aaron comming vnto Pharao in the name of the Lord. So did Rehum and Simshai with their companions with Tatuai and Sauballat and T◅biah withstand to their vttermost power and cunning the worke of the Iewes in building the Temple wales of Ierusalem after their returne from the captiutie When Elias had slaine the Priestes of Baal and sought to bring backe Israel to the worship of the Lord Iesabel opposed hi◅ selfe and made Elias to flie for his life And while the Apostles preached the Gospell of Christ to the Gentiles the vnbeleeuing Iewes stirring vp the Gentiles withstood them in all places as the Apostle chargeth them saying They haue persecuted vs and God they please not and are contrarie to all men and forbid vs to preach vnto the Gentiles that they might be saued Thus vsually through Sathans enuie it falleth out that scarce any attempteth any commendable worke but that one or other instrument of Sathan ariseth opposing himselfe against it to hinder the performance of it increasing his burden that trauelleth about it How shall men thus vexed cast their burden vpon the Lord First when thou seest their mallice and opposition be not driuen from thy patience and peaceable minde lest thou also shouldest either say or doe amisse in thy vnquiet passion Secondly vnto this patience ioyne prayer vnto God and in thy prayer craue these things of God First that God will oppose his helpe against their opposition and hinder their hindring attempts as the Prophet doeth saying Let not the wicked haue his desire O Lord performe not his wicked thoughts Secondly craue the assistance of Gods hand vpon thy labour good indeuor to helpe thee against thine opposites as the Prophet doeth saying Giue vs helpe against trouble for vaine is the helpe of man through God we shall doe valiantly Lastly that he will take thy good enterprise into his hand and vse thee as his instrument to effect so good a worke by as also the Prophet doth saying Let the beautie of the Lord our God be vpon vs and direct the worke of our hands vpon vs euen direct the worke of our handes Surely in this case this is to cast our burden vpon God if withall when we see the end to fall out contrarie to our godly purpose we glorifie God therein supposing that as God would not let Dauid build his Temple but reserued it to be performed afterward by Salomon so God for some secret cause will not haue that good worke finished by thee but res◅rueth it for some other time and some other person Lastly if thy sufficiencie be good and thy diligence answereable to thy sufficiencie and the worke effected through Gods helpe be answereable to thy diligence but the malice of mē misconstrue thy worke and misreport it so bring thee into danger and trouble as Amaziah the wicked Priest of Bethel misreported the godly seruice of the Prophet Amos and accused him to the King saying Amos hath conspired against thee in the midst of the house of Israel The land is not able to beare all his words So seeking betray his life into the handes of cruelty vnder shewes of iustice Then the casting of our burden vpon God is first in his name to protest ou◅ innocencie and that we haue done our dutie with an honest heart as God commaunded vs. So did Amos after Amaziah had accused him saying for himselfe The Lord tooke me as I followed the stocke
not out of any hatred that they did beare against such vile sinnes but onely for feare of the peoples speech and rather for want of meanes and opportunity to accomplish them then for want of any good will if time place and other things had been answerable And if thou finde that thine is such a generall and confused tentation as namely that thou diddest neuer rightly know nor loue nor feare God and that thine heart was alwaies or now is an euill an hypocritical heart thine estate is so much the more easie that in the dayes of thy security while thou diddest walke according to the course of this world and after the prince that ruleth in the ayre euen the spirit that worketh in the children of disobedience God suffered not the Diuell to thrust thee into presumptuous sinnes after the manner of others and into grosse and desperate sinnes against all rules of honesty wherewith hee might now in this time of temptation torment thy conscience This affordeth much aduantage vnto thee that the diuell can finde no grosse particular sinne to vrge and presse thee withall Here let the afflicted man first consider that hitherto his case is no whit worse then the case of euery man that commeth into the world For Dauid doth tell vs that the best man euen he that prooueth afterwards a man after Gods owne heart yet out of his mothers wombe yea out of his fathers loines proceedeth a sinnefull creature with an euill heart empty of the loue of God and continueth so till God bestow some particular grace vpon him for the conuersion of him And he maketh himselfe an instance heereof speaking thus Behold I was borne in iniquity and in sinne hath my mother conceiued me He was from the wombe and loines a sinner taken in generall termes for a man in whom there was an euill heart not knowing not louing not fearing God And Saint Paul doth tell vs that the holiest man euen he that was from the beginning a chosen vessell to beare witnesse to the name of Iesus Christ before kings and nations yet in his originall estate and first yeares hee is the childe of wrath and dead in trespasses and sinnes as all other men till God in mercy looke vpon him and renew him And hee maketh himselfe among others an instance thereof while hee thus speaketh You hath be quickened that were dead in trespasses and sinnes wherein in times past ye walked according to the course of this world and after the Prince that ruleth in the ayre euen the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience among whom wee also had our conuersation in times past in the lusts of our flesh in fulfilling the will of the flesh and of the minde and were by nature the children of wrath as well as others Paul was a bad as the Ephesians and the Ephesians as bad as all other men til God in mercy conuerted both him them And the Prophet Ieremy telleth vs that there is both generally and particularly in all men and in euery man a heart both wicked and hypocritical wicked to do that which is euill deceitfull and hypocriticall to dissemble in the doing of it and to make shews pretences and excuses that it might be thought not to doe euill And this wickednesse and hypocrisie ro be so deepe and cunning that it deceiueth not onely other men but euen the wicked man himselfe that flattereth and pleaseth himself with his owne pretences and perswadeth his owne soule that all is well and onely God is able to finde out his hypocrisie for thus hee saith The heart of man is deceitfull and wicked aboue all things who can know it I the Lord search the heart c. Other men cannot know it and search it out For the apostle saith What man knoweth the things of a man saue the spirit of a man which is in him A manâ—… owne heart may bee acquainted with his owne thoughts but another man cannot discerne them a man himselfe oft times is not able to discerne his owne wickednesse a vaine and false opinion misleading his blinded iudgement but God searcheth it out because as the Apostle saith There is not any creature that is not manifest in his sight but all things are naked and open to his cies with whom we haue to doe Such is the depth of the wickednesse of mans heart such is his deceitfull hypocrisie that no eye but the all-seeing eye of God no iudgement but his that neuer erreth can see the same And Salomon telleth vs that there is no man iust vpon the earth that doth good and sinneth not And knowing this to be generaly true he challengeth euery man that thinkes that he can say any thing to cleere eyther himselfe or any other saying Who can say I haue made my heart cleane I am cleane from my sinne So that this is the condition of all men till God in his mercy mould them anew by his grace till then they are altogether such as thou in thy troubled heart art charged to be men of an euill heart full of wickednesse and hypocrisie that neither know God nor loue God nor feare God Therefore when thou art charged with such a generall and confused tentation yeeld it to be true that thou art charged withall and stand not to make thy selfe better then thou art withall say vnto thy soule for that I haue no more cause to dispaire of Gods mercy then Dauid had that was such a one in his birth then Paul had that was such a one vntill the day of his conuersion then any other and all other of Gods elect and best beloued children that were euery way such conceiued in sinne borne in iniquitie children of wrath full of vnsearchable wickednesse and hypocrisie neither knowing nor liuing nor fearing God till he was pleased to looke vpon them in his fauour and to conuert them by creating a new heart and renewing a right spirit in them And now that mine eyes are opened by this affrighting of my soule to see my bad condition which I saw not before I will make hast vnto the Lord and will craue that grace at his hands that I now want neither can I nor will I vnderstand this worke of his in letting me see by this fearefull temptation my sinfull estate which in the daies of my peace I did not see to be any other then the fruit of his loue by making me to see my misery to stir vp my soule long drowned in former securitie to seeke with all earnestnes of â—…eale for his help When a sicke man feeleth paine in his flesh he doeth not faintly yeeld to death because he is sicke but from the feeling of his weakenes he taketh occasion to seeke out some learned Phisition craueth his help the more sicke he is the more he desireth and the more earnestly he sueth for his helpe spares no cost and putteth himselfe into