according_a to_o their_o work_n revel_v 20._o 12._o of_o the_o soul_n endue_v with_o grace_n the_o natural_a disposition_n and_o temper_n of_o man_n be_v much_o addict_v to_o melancholy_a will_v be_v apt_a in_o very_a childhood_n to_o make_v our_o apprehension_n lie_v care_n and_o sadness_n near_o our_o heart_n to_o delight_v ourselves_o in_o solitariness_n and_o to_o spend_v the_o time_n in_o soliloquy_n and_o private_a speculation_n even_o so_o much_o may_v nature_n be_v incline_v to_o these_o exercise_n of_o contemplation_n and_o such_o fiction_n of_o fancy_n that_o many_o a_o hour_n shall_v we_o sacrifice_v to_o this_o our_o genius_n glad_o separate_v ourselves_o from_o company_n and_o pick_v out_o what_o time_n we_o can_v spare_v for_o this_o purpose_n these_o contemplation_n with_o which_o our_o christian_a thought_n will_v be_v thus_o affect_v be_v chief_o ground_v at_o first_o on_o the_o familiar_a object_n of_o sense_n and_o raise_v to_o some_o divine_a and_o heavenly_a 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be_v usual_o very_o deep_a very_o serious_a and_o earnest_a and_o we_o shall_v be_v affect_v with_o they_o to_o the_o life_n insomuch_o that_o they_o will_v often_o provoke_v in_o we_o the_o passion_n of_o grief_n with_o tear_n of_o joy_n with_o exceed_a cheerfulness_n of_o mind_n even_o according_a to_o that_o pathetical_a affection_n of_o david_n when_o he_o say_v my_o lip_n will_v be_v feyn_a when_o i_o sing_v unto_o thou_o and_o so_o will_v my_o soul_n etc._n etc._n we_o shall_v i_o say_v be_v serious_a even_o so_o serious_a and_o entire_o bend_v to_o those_o sweet_a melancholy_a thought_n and_o so_o affectionate_o move_v with_o they_o that_o we_o shall_v scarce_o ever_o think_v ourselves_o true_o and_o real_o recreate_v but_o whilst_o we_o be_v thus_o meditate_v on_o religious_a matter_n and_o exercise_v our_o thought_n in_o such_o heavenly_a notion_n here_o lie_v our_o love_n our_o dear_a and_o only_o one_o here_o be_v our_o life_n joy_n here_o it_o be_v and_o here_o alone_o here_o i_o say_v lie_v the_o joy_n and_o sweetness_n of_o our_o life_n and_o that_o first_o because_o nature_n do_v dispose_v we_o to_o a_o more_o retire_a seriousness_n of_o mind_n and_o sure_o no_o delight_n can_v be_v sâ—_n sweet_a as_o that_o towards_o which_o nature_n set_v her_o help_a hand_n second_o for_o that_o use_n and_o practice_n in_o time_n dâ—_n tutor_v up_o this_o sympathy_n of_o nature_n into_o the_o grateful_a facility_n of_o a_o habit_n and_o than_o if_o the_o habit_n of_o that_o which_o agree_v not_o with_o nature_n be_v most_o time_n so_o love_o marry_v to_o the_o affection_n that_o it_o can_v hardly_o be_v leave_v how_o please_v must_n that_o needs_o be_v which_o concur_v with_o nature_n three_o for_o that_o this_o heavenly_a object_n be_v beyond_o measure_n unparalleled_a foâ—_n sweetness_n sweet_a as_o david_n have_v it_o even_o than_o the_o honey_n and_o the_o honey_n comb_n the_o meditation_n of_o god_n do_v many_o time_n ravish_v our_o narrow_a soul_n with_o 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memento_n of_o shame_n to_o our_o outward_a man_n and_o the_o sting_n of_o sadness_n to_o our_o inner_a soul_n when_o it_o be_v past_a and_o go_v we_o shall_v find_v our_o conscience_n wound_v with_o dismayednesse_n and_o our_o heart_n droop_v with_o grief_n such_o sour_a sauce_n have_v this_o seem_a pleasure_n such_o a_o sting_n in_o the_o tail_n have_v this_o flatter_a serpent_n a_o sting_n it_o be_v which_o as_o i_o say_v without_o question_n we_o be_v sufficient_o sensible_a of_o we_o can_v most_o due_o and_o tender_o feel_v the_o hurt_n it_o do_v we_o and_o yet_o for_o all_o that_o when_o it_o come_v too_o it_o do_v so_o strong_o charm_v and_o bewitch_v our_o reason_n that_o all_o the_o power_n that_o be_v in_o we_o be_v present_o dissolve_v and_o we_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o withstand_v it_o the_o deceitful_a bait_n of_o pleasure_n make_v we_o sudden_o to_o swallow_v down_o the_o bane_n and_o then_o though_o like_o that_o book_n in_o the_o revelation_n it_o be_v sweet_a in_o 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a_o historical_a anatomy_n of_o christian_a melancholy_a sympathetical_o set_v forth_o in_o a_o threefold_a state_n of_o the_o soul_n 1_o endue_v with_o grace_n 2_o ensnare_v in_o sin_n 3_o trouble_v in_o conscience_n with_o a_o conclude_v meditation_n on_o the_o four_o verse_n of_o the_o nine_o chapter_n of_o saint_n john_n by_o edmund_z gregory_z sometime_o bachelor_n of_o art_n in_o trin._n coll._n oxon._n london_n print_v for_o humphrey_n moseley_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o his_o shop_n at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o prince_n arm_n in_o paul_n churchyard_n 1646._o edmundi_fw-la gregorii_n vera_fw-la effigy_n aetatis_fw-la suae_fw-la a_fw-la o_o tricesimo_fw-la primo_fw-la a_fw-la o_o 1646._o even_o now_o i_o be_v not_o and_o ere_o long_o i_o must_v from_o what_o thou_o see_v again_o return_v to_o dust._n gaze_v not_o on_o this_o poorâ—_n earthly_a shade_n of_o i_o but_o read_v the_o substance_n which_o be_v more_o divine_a w._n martial_n sculpsit_fw-la the_o â—_z brief_a direction_n to_o the_o reader_n let_v i_o obtain_v love_v reader_n this_o favour_n that_o you_o take_v notice_n of_o these_o few_o direction_n in_o the_o perusal_n of_o this_o little_a book_n first_o that_o the_o main_a rule_n of_o my_o thought_n in_o the_o compile_n hereof_o have_v be_v experience_n i_o say_v the_o experience_n out_o of_o divers_a particular_n diligent_o according_a to_o my_o poor_a skill_n comprise_v together_o into_o one_o and_o true_o if_o according_a to_o the_o philosopher_n experientia_fw-la est_fw-la optima_fw-la magistra_fw-la eperience_n be_v our_o best_a teacher_n as_o also_o a_o chief_a guide_n in_o all_o our_o divinity_n doubtless_o it_o be_v worth_a the_o labour_n serious_o to_o mark_v it_o yet_o since_o that_o what_o i_o have_v write_v be_v not_o the_o experience_n of_o all_o man_n but_o of_o some_o for_o who_o be_v able_a to_o find_v out_o all_o the_o secrecy_n of_o but_o one_o heart_n much_o more_o of_o all_o heart_n let_v it_o not_o i_o pray_v by_o 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experience_n give_v i_o good_a reason_n for_o it_o and_o partly_o again_o for_o that_o i_o conceive_v nihil_fw-la humanani_fw-la à _fw-la i_o alienum_fw-la no_o humane_a thing_n that_o belong_v to_o mankind_n to_o be_v so_o strange_a unto_o i_o but_o that_o i_o may_v fit_o sympathize_v and_o sensible_o concur_v with_o it_o saint_n paul_n be_v all_o thing_n unto_o all_o man_n to_o the_o jew_n a_o jew_n to_o the_o gentile_n a_o gentile_a to_o the_o sinner_n a_o sinner_n that_o he_o may_v work_v the_o more_o effect_n and_o comfort_n in_o all_o three_o i_o shall_v earnest_o desire_v if_o your_o time_n and_o ability_n may_v convenient_o serve_v that_o you_o will_v add_v your_o own_o experimental_a observation_n hereunto_o to_o the_o increase_n of_o this_o poor_a book_n if_o god_n shall_v so_o give_v his_o blessing_n into_o a_o large_a volume_n for_o i_o can_v hearty_o wish_v that_o learned_a man_n will_v study_v themselves_o as_o well_o as_o their_o book_n will_v more_o set_v forward_o in_o 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or_o private_a room_n to_o spread_v it_o before_o you_o and_o to_o stretch_v yourself_o upon_o it_o to_o apply_v the_o inner_a shape_n and_o proportion_n of_o your_o heart_n unto_o it_o and_o so_o by_o your_o prayer_n unto_o god_n to_o desire_v that_o you_o may_v find_v a_o soul_n and_o life_n in_o the_o read_n of_o it_o that_o it_o may_v so_o animate_v in_o you_o that_o it_o be_v not_o as_o a_o dead_a and_o altogether-unprofitable_a thing_n which_o i_o also_o shall_v ever_o pray_v for_o to_o the_o utmost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o thus_o for_o the_o present_a i_o take_v my_o leave_n remain_v you_o e._n g._n the_o author_n poem_n to_o himself_o on_o james_n 3._o 17._o if_o thou_o my_o soul_n will_v true_o religion_n see_v lo_o here_o in_o brief_a thou_o may_v resolve_v be_v the_o wisdom_n that_o descend_v from_o above_o thus_o be_v pure_a as_o say_v s._n james_n and_o full_a of_o love_n mercy_n and_o peace_n it_o do_v extend_v to_o all_o without_o deceit_n and_o nothing_o partial_a the_o head_n if_o sin_n be_v folly_n madness_n want_v of_o wit_n the_o righteous_a then_o be_v wisâ—_n and_o most_o discreet_a wisdom_n if_o christ_n our_o wisdom_n come_v down_o from_o on_o high_a all_o earthly_a knowledge_n be_v but_o vanity_n the_o eye_n this_o wisdom_n pure_a and_o fill_v we_o with_o light_n to_o trust_v in_o he_o who_o pass_v humane_a sight_n faith_n this_o wisdom_n pure_a and_o puâ—ifi'th_v the_o mind_n from_o those_o dark_a work_n which_o make_v the_o conscience_n blind_a the_o hand_n it_o seekâ—eâ—_n peace_n it_o hate_v to_o contend_v it_o be_v gentle_a mild_a and_o love_a to_o its_o friend_n charity_n with_o it_o forgiveness_n easy_o be_v find_v in_o it_o compassion_n do_v to_o all_o abound_v the_o foot_n and_o all_o this_o good_a it_o free_o do_v impart_v without_o a_o partial_a pâ—oud_a oâ—_n grudge_v heart_n good_a meaning_n nor_o doâ—h_v hypocrisy_n these_o virtue_n kill_v with_o by_o respect_n or_o a_o sinister_a will_n here_o be_v religion_n head_n its_o eye_n its_o hand_n here_o be_v those_o foot_n on_o which_o it_o firm_o stand_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d ☞_o e_o coelo_fw-la descendit_fw-la 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d know_v thyself_o exit_fw-la tui_fw-la scientiâ_fw-la fit_a conscientia_fw-la jer_n 17._o 9_o the_o heart_n be_v deceitful_a above_o all_o thing_n and_o desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d o_o thou_o that_o know_v the_o heart_n of_o all_o man_n create_v in_o i_o a_o clean_a heart_n o_o god_n and_o renew_v a_o right_a spirit_n within_o i_o and_o i_o see_v the_o dead_a both_o great_a and_o small_a stand_n before_o god_n and_o the_o book_n be_v open_v and_o another_o book_n be_v open_v which_o be_v the_o book_n of_o life_n and_o the_o dead_a be_v judge_v of_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v write_v in_o the_o book_n
disperse_v with_o his_o brightness_n the_o cloud_n of_o ignorance_n and_o enflame_v with_o his_o heat_n the_o coldness_n of_o affection_n so_o true_a find_v we_o that_o which_o our_o saviour_n speak_v of_o himself_o in_o saint_n john_n i_o be_o the_o light_n of_o the_o world_n he_o that_o follow_v i_o shall_v not_o walk_v in_o darkness_n but_o shall_v have_v the_o light_n of_o life_n in_o darkness_n that_o be_v the_o darkness_n of_o sin_n but_o shall_v have_v the_o light_n of_o life_n that_o be_v that_o live_a light_n which_o quicken_v the_o heart_n unto_o goodness_n and_o enliven_v the_o affection_n enliven_v the_o affection_n with_o cheerful_a thought_n with_o nimble_a active_a love_n with_o flame_n of_o zeal_n which_o never_o cease_v to_o move_v to_o move_v upward_o and_o give_v their_o humble_a attendance_n upon_o the_o almighty_a in_o the_o act_n of_o repentance_n we_o shall_v as_o it_o be_v throw_v down_o ourselves_o before_o god_n with_o a_o filial_a remorse_n and_o melt_a sorrow_n for_o our_o offence_n sometime_o cast_v a_o eye_n upon_o the_o exceed_a vileness_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o then_o weep_v and_o grieve_v and_o vex_v ourselves_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v creature_n so_o wretched_a as_o to_o commit_v that_o which_o though_o there_o be_v no_o god_n to_o obey_v not_o law_n to_o transgress_v yet_o a_o man_n will_v be_v ashamed_a and_o scorn_n to_o do_v sometime_o cast_v a_o eye_n to_o consider_v not_o so_o much_o what_o it_o be_v in_o itself_o as_o against_o who_o and_o than_o it_o be_v ten_o time_n grief_n to_o think_v that_o we_o shall_v so_o high_o offend_v he_o that_o have_v always_o be_v so_o good_a so_o love_v and_o as_o i_o may_v say_v so_o too_o much_o merciful_a unto_o we_o that_o we_o shall_v displease_v he_o who_o infinite_a goodness_n be_v more_o than_o that_o we_o be_v able_a in_o the_o least_o degree_n to_o deserve_v though_o we_o shall_v with_o all_o the_o vein_n of_o our_o heart_n continual_o obey_v he_o count_v it_o a_o most_o tender_a thing_n to_o grieve_v he_o which_o have_v vouchsafe_v we_o to_o be_v as_o dear_a unto_o himself_o as_o the_o very_a apple_n of_o his_o eye_n we_o shall_v i_o say_v weep_v and_o grieve_v and_o vex_v ourselves_o for_o it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o we_o do_v seldom_o find_v the_o true_a and_o effectual_a comfort_n of_o repentance_n without_o tear_n when_o the_o eye_n can_v kind_o run_v down_o with_o stream_n of_o water_n then_o do_v our_o heart_n begin_v to_o feel_v ease_n then_o do_v that_o burden_n begin_v to_o be_v light_n which_o before_o be_v so_o heavy_a and_o then_o will_v the_o light_n of_o grace_n begin_v to_o shine_v in_o upon_o our_o soul_n and_o kindle_v our_o affection_n with_o that_o zeal_n of_o david_n psal_n 86._o 11._o o_o knit_v my_o soul_n knit_v it_o fast_o unto_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v fear_v thy_o name_n many_o time_n thus_o in_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o soul_n be_v we_o so_o overjoy_v as_o it_o be_v at_o the_o return_n of_o god_n favour_n that_o we_o can_v even_o suffer_v our_o heart_n to_o be_v pluck_v out_o of_o our_o breast_n to_o offer_v they_o up_o in_o devotion_n unto_o he_o and_o therefore_o now_o do_v we_o lift_v up_o our_o soul_n with_o such_o a_o servant_n desire_v of_o better_a obedience_n that_o henceforth_o it_o seem_v not_o enough_o for_o we_o to_o go_v or_o walk_v but_o we_o must_v run_v the_o way_n of_o thy_o commandment_n o_o lord_n since_o thou_o â—ast_v thus_o set_v our_o heart_n at_o liberty_n to_o hang_v down_o the_o head_n like_o a_o bulrush_n isai_n 58._o 8_o and_o to_o be_v cover_v with_o the_o sackcloth_n of_o dejection_n for_o our_o sin_n this_o very_o be_v not_o the_o main_a this_o be_v but_o the_o outside_n and_o beginning_n of_o repentance_n it_o only_o do_v before_o prepare_v the_o way_n tell_v some_o news_n of_o the_o approach_a day_n a_o lively_a resolution_n of_o the_o heart_n to_o redeem_v the_o time_n this_o be_v the_o soul_n and_o reality_n thereof_o repentance_n be_v but_o dead_a without_o a_o lively_a heart_n and_o sure_o it_o never_o do_v we_o good_a till_o it_o thus_o come_v unto_o the_o quick_a well_o now_o when_o the_o almighty_a have_v thus_o breathe_v into_o our_o soul_n this_o breath_n of_o life_n then_o do_v our_o hope_n revive_v again_o in_o the_o confidence_n of_o pardon_n and_o then_o also_o shall_v we_o be_v so_o sensible_o affect_v with_o god_n infinite_a mercy_n towards_o we_o that_o these_o his_o mercy_n like_o those_o band_n of_o love_n hos_n 11._o 4_o do_v tie_v we_o far_o more_o to_o his_o obedience_n then_o before_o all_o the_o faculty_n of_o both_o body_n &_o soul_n do_v seem_v too_o little_a for_o we_o to_o do_v he_o service_n with_o that_o so_o in_o some_o measure_n we_o may_v requite_v his_o love_n in_o forgive_n by_o our_o love_n in_o obey_v the_o more_o god_n forgive_v we_o the_o more_o we_o do_v always_o love_v he_o so_o that_o we_o may_v just_o witness_v the_o truth_n of_o that_o which_o our_o saviour_n say_v to_o who_o god_n have_v forgive_v much_o he_o will_v love_v he_o much_o this_o love_n of_o god_n do_v usual_o raise_v in_o we_o a_o holy_a indignation_n against_o sin_n to_o hate_v to_o abhor_v and_o as_o it_o be_v trample_v it_o under_o our_o foot_n make_v we_o zealous_o to_o take_v part_n with_o god_n against_o ourselves_o who_o have_v thus_o take_v part_n with_o sin_n against_o god_n and_o therefore_o shall_v we_o be_v ready_a to_o enjoin_v a_o kind_n of_o penance_n to_o our_o soul_n and_o to_o execute_v in_o god_n behalf_n a_o revenge_n upon_o ourselves_o so_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a we_o may_v give_v he_o a_o due_a recompense_n and_o satisfaction_n for_o our_o offence_n the_o effect_n of_o repentance_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v feel_v our_o conscience_n satisfy_v our_o heart_n at_o rest_n and_o ourselves_o joyful_o at_o one_o with_o god_n again_o and_o then_o will_v our_o soul_n make_v she_o boast_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o hâ—_n have_v put_v a_o new_a song_n into_o our_o mouth_n even_o a_o song_n of_o thanksgiving_n for_o this_o great_a deliverance_n according_a to_o that_o of_o david_n o_o lord_n thou_o have_v be_v exceed_v gracious_a unto_o we_o wherefore_o as_o for_o our_o soul_n it_o shall_v be_v talk_v of_o thy_o righteousness_n and_o of_o thy_o praise_n all_o the_o day_n long_o we_o can_v cease_v i_o say_v we_o can_v cease_v from_o morn_n till_o night_n thy_o goodness_n to_o set_v forth_o o_o lord_n it_o be_v now_o our_o whole_a delight_n to_o wonder_v at_o thy_o worth_n thus_o a_o while_n be_v we_o full_a of_o praise_n and_o thanksgiving_n unto_o god_n and_o now_o then_o with_o such_o a_o strong_a and_o powerful_a confidence_n in_o he_o do_v we_o go_v on_o in_o our_o wont_a course_n of_o divine_a meditation_n that_o our_o thought_n do_v as_o it_o be_v scorn_v the_o earth_n be_v like_o elijah_n in_o the_o fiery_a chariot_n of_o zeal_n mount_v up_o to_o dwell_v in_o heaven_n only_o and_o in_o heavenly_a thing_n our_o fancy_n will_v be_v all_o for_o the_o high_a and_o lofty_a speculation_n of_o god_n of_o christ_n of_o eternity_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v etc._n etc._n the_o private_a leisure_n and_o holy_a silence_n of_o the_o mind_n froâ—_n outward_a thing_n give_v such_o advantage_n to_o the_o soul_n to_o flee_v upward_o that_o for_o the_o present_a we_o be_v even_o deify_v with_o these_o glorious_a object_n and_o be_v become_v saintlike_a in_o our_o thought_n but_o when_o it_o come_v down_o again_o to_o the_o practic_a part_n for_o the_o conversation_n of_o ourlive_n when_o these_o speculation_n be_v to_o be_v actuate_v into_o a_o good_a behaviour_n lo_o than_o it_o prove_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o we_o of_o saint_n no_o not_o scarce_o of_o man_n or_o at_o leastwise_o of_o very_o weak_a and_o frail_a man_n then_o all_o that_o we_o can_v do_v be_v but_o to_o desire_v to_o keep_v ourselves_o from_o sin_n or_o to_o be_v unwilling_a to_o enter_v into_o temptation_n that_o that_o for_o the_o most_o part_n be_v the_o further_a we_o do_v proceed_v but_o to_o withstand_v and_o vanquish_v or_o put_v off_o sin_n be_v we_o seldom_o able_a in_o the_o leâ—st_a degree_n and_o therefore_o we_o may_v well_o aâ—k_v the_o question_n with_o saint_n paul_n who_o shall_v deliver_v we_o from_o this_o body_n of_o fin_n since_o the_o high_a period_n of_o strength_n thaâ—_n we_o do_v here_o attain_v unto_o be_v able_a to_o do_v little_a even_o so_o little_a that_o i_o may_v just_o say_v it_o be_v but_o as_o the_o shadow_n of_o something_o rather_o then_o anything_o and_o indeed_o altogether_o as_o it_o be_v nothing_o in_o reality_n though_o something_o in_o intention_n well_o now_o be_v in_o the_o state_n of_o repentance_n we_o can_v careful_o
turn_v we_o unto_o a_o due_a serious_a repent_v or_o sufficient_o to_o rouse_v we_o up_o out_o of_o the_o unhappy_a lethargy_n of_o sin_n and_o therefore_o sure_a god_n be_v now_o whet_v his_o sword_n and_o bend_v his_o bow_n against_o we_o as_o lazrâ—â—_n in_o his_o grave_n so_o we_o have_v be_v in_o our_o trespass_n and_o sin_n so_o long_o dead_a even_o stark_o dead_a unto_o all_o goodness_n that_o we_o have_v need_n be_v call_v unto_o elatâ_fw-la voce_fw-la as_o it_o be_v in_o the_o eleven_o of_o saint_n john_n with_o a_o loud_a voice_n if_o god_n mean_v that_o we_o shall_v effectual_o hear_v he_o dangerous_a disease_n deserve_v desperate_a cure_n if_o nothing_o else_o can_v thorough_o awake_v we_o the_o judgement_n of_o a_o trouble_a mind_n and_o torment_a conscience_n must_v do_v it_o but_o when_o once_o it_o come_v to_o pass_v that_o the_o almighty_a show_v forth_o his_o wonder_n in_o the_o deep_a his_o mighty_a strength_n after_o this_o manner_n in_o the_o deep_a thought_n of_o man_n heart_n o_o what_o a_o sharp_a fit_a and_o tedious_a bout_n must_v we_o undergo_v for_o say_v solomon_n the_o spirit_n of_o maâ—_n may_v sustain_v his_o infirmity_n but_o a_o wound_a spirit_n who_o can_v bear_v not_o job_n be_v affliction_n nor_o yet_o all_o those_o ten_o egyptian_a plague_n can_v parallel_v again_o the_o misery_n that_o that_o poor_a soul_n be_v in_o who_o heaven_n do_v strike_v with_o terror_n for_o his_o sin_n any_o outward_a cross_n or_o trouble_n be_v tolerable_a and_o may_v be_v sustain_v but_o the_o inner_a trouble_n of_o a_o distract_a mind_n and_o wound_a conscience_n who_o can_v bear_v you_o may_v note_v that_o though_o the_o mind_n and_o conscience_n be_v touch_v with_o many_o secret_a terror_n and_o perplex_a difficulty_n in_o the_o course_n and_o passage_n of_o this_o life_n according_a to_o that_o of_o david_n concern_v himself_o even_o from_o my_o youth_n up_o thy_o terror_n have_v i_o suffer_v with_o a_o trouble_a mind_n i_o say_v there_o be_v in_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n many_o torment_a thought_n as_o also_o sin_n of_o we_o and_o say_n of_o scripture_n often_o too_o hard_o for_o we_o well_o to_o digest_v but_o this_o ensue_a passage_n of_o a_o distract_a mind_n and_o trouble_a conscience_n be_v seldom_o parallel_v for_o lo_o i_o shall_v herein_o show_v you_o a_o mystery_n even_o wellnigh_o the_o very_a height_n and_o utmost_a pitch_n of_o terror_n and_o sad_a distraction_n that_o the_o melancholy_a mind_n can_v undergo_v without_o fall_v quite_o into_o fury_n and_o madness_n which_o do_v fit_o follow_v this_o more_o than_o ordinary_a ill_a course_n of_o life_n here_o presuppose_a and_o so_o long_a a_o sleep_n in_o presumption_n for_o this_o be_v the_o right_a method_n in_o the_o state_n of_o the_o soul_n before_o such_o great_a trouble_n of_o mind_n there_o usual_o precede_v a_o deep_a sleep_n in_o presumption_n because_o the_o mind_n and_o conscience_n can_v never_o be_v very_o much_o inward_o trouble_v it_o may_v suffer_v some_o small_a distress_n i_o say_v never_o be_v much_o trouble_v as_o long_o as_o fear_v the_o watchman_n of_o the_o soul_n keep_v his_o due_a sentry_n and_o therefore_o this_o be_v the_o true_a wisdom_n of_o a_o careful_a christian_a diligent_o to_o keep_v this_o watch_n about_o he_o lest_o he_o be_v overtake_v besot_v and_o engage_v in_o sin_n and_o so_o then_o the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n come_v upon_o he_o like_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n i_o say_v the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n the_o day_n of_o his_o judgement_n a_o day_n of_o gloominess_n and_o thick_a darkness_n a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o distraction_n of_o mind_n even_o such_o a_o day_n as_o be_v express_v in_o the_o next_o part_n wherein_o the_o lord_n thunder_v from_o heaven_n with_o his_o mighty_a power_n against_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n of_o the_o soul_n trouble_v in_o conscience_n well_o the_o trouble_n and_o terror_n before_o speak_v of_o in_o the_o precedent_a part_n in_o reference_n to_o these_o that_o follow_v and_o be_v now_o at_o hand_n be_v but_o as_o s._n matthew_n say_v of_o those_o trouble_n that_o shall_v go_v before_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n the_o beginning_n of_o sorrow_n i_o say_v the_o beginning_n of_o sorrow_n they_o be_v like_o the_o scatter_a drop_n which_o fall_v before_o a_o shower_n and_o o_o now_o the_o shower_n itself_o begin_v to_o fall_v apace_o a_o terrible_a shower_n and_o most_o violent_a storm_n such_o a_o one_o as_o david_n speak_v of_o in_o psal_n 11._o vers_fw-la 6._o where_o he_o say_v upon_o the_o wicked_a be_v shall_v rain_v snare_n fire_n and_o brimstone_n and_o a_o horrible_a tempest_n this_o shall_v be_v their_o portion_n to_o drink_v for_o now_o our_o mind_n and_o body_n be_v perhaps_o more_o proper_o make_v fit_a for_o that_o purpose_n i_o say_v the_o rather_o fit_v thereunto_o as_o either_o by_o occasion_n of_o the_o leisure_n and_o vacancy_n of_o the_o mind_n or_o also_o by_o the_o like_o concur_v occasion_n of_o strong_a melancholy_a vapour_n in_o the_o body_n or_o other_o disease_a disturbance_n though_o fin_n only_o be_v the_o procure_a cause_n yet_o these_o or_o some_o of_o these_o be_v usual_o the_o present_a occasion_n which_o main_o help_v it_o forward_o we_o quick_o fall_v into_o a_o exceed_a dumpishnesse_n of_o mind_n and_o even_o in_o a_o short_a space_n our_o fancy_n be_v follow_v with_o swarm_n of_o torment_a thought_n in_o so_o extraordinary_a a_o manner_n that_o we_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v they_o come_v so_o thick_a one_o upon_o another_o and_o be_v impious_a in_o so_o high_a a_o degree_n that_o the_o dismal_a and_o hellish_a terror_n thereof_o do_v quite_o dull_a and_o take_v off_o our_o sense_n there_o be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n no_o one_o hour_n all_o day_n long_o but_o that_o we_o be_v haunt_v with_o they_o as_o with_o so_o many_o hideous_a ghost_n insomuch_o that_o usual_o do_v what_o we_o can_v nothing_o will_v put_v they_o from_o our_o mind_n or_o give_v we_o the_o least_o ease_n and_o respite_n from_o this_o misery_n intention_n still_o our_o mind_n get_v no_o relief_n at_o all_o from_o this_o torment_a inward_a grief_n those_o thought_n they_o be_v such_o black_a thought_n most_o of_o they_o so_o infinite_o fearful_a so_o unspeakable_a heinous_a that_o they_o do_v make_v we_o extreme_o to_o shake_v with_o fear_n and_o put_v we_o many_o time_n in_o such_o a_o tremble_a that_o we_o be_v as_o it_o be_v faint_v with_o the_o deep_a agony_n and_o anguish_n thereof_o they_o do_v so_o subtle_o shoot_v into_o our_o imagination_n that_o for_o our_o life_n we_o can_v with_o all_o our_o strength_n and_o endeavour_n shut_v they_o out_o or_o so_o much_o as_o mitigate_v the_o violence_n of_o they_o they_o be_v even_o as_o the_o pierce_a lightning_n which_o can_v be_v withstand_v for_o lest_o your_o understanding_n shall_v be_v mistake_v it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o those_o thought_n not_o as_o yet_o speak_v of_o be_v more_o of_o a_o dart_a than_o a_o reflect_a nature_n to_o go_v on_o they_o be_v as_o so_o many_o terrify_a haggard_n and_o hellish_a ghost_n unto_o we_o that_o do_v even_o make_v we_o shrink_v for_o fear_n as_o often_o as_o we_o do_v but_o think_v upon_o they_o or_o so_o much_o as_o take_v the_o least_o glimpse_n thereof_o into_o our_o apprehension_n and_o then_o as_o soon_o as_o we_o be_v thus_o never_o so_o little_a afraid_a they_o will_v sure_o come_v upon_o we_o and_o that_o the_o more_o fierce_o too_o fear_v give_v any_o adversary_n advantage_n to_o have_v the_o great_a power_n over_o we_o the_o manner_n of_o be_v affright_v herewith_o many_o time_n be_v as_o when_o some_o extraordinary_a thunderclap_n on_o the_o sudden_a strike_v a_o man_n with_o so_o violent_a a_o terror_n that_o his_o heart_n be_v even_o as_o they_o say_v out_o of_o his_o mouth_n therewith_o the_o passion_n whereof_o be_v able_a to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o excess_n that_o it_o do_v even_o stun_v our_o sense_n for_o the_o time_n make_v we_o as_o quite_o sick_a with_o the_o amazement_n of_o it_o what_o shall_v i_o say_v no_o mortal_a tongue_n can_v â—hew_v those_o fearful_a terror_n which_o our_o mind_n do_v know_v it_o be_v say_v indeed_o in_o the_o six_o chap._n of_o genesis_n that_o every_o imagination_n of_o the_o thought_n of_o man_n heart_n be_v only_o evil_a continual_o but_o o_o these_fw-mi and_o the_o like_a thought_n as_o i_o may_v say_v even_o send_v from_o hell_n into_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n be_v so_o beyond_o measure_n unreasonable_o evil_a that_o we_o shall_v many_o time_n think_v to_o ourselves_o think_v it_o i_o say_v to_o be_v a_o thing_n almost_o impossible_a that_o man_n as_o a_o mere_a man_n and_o be_v only_o in_o the_o mortal_a condition_n of_o humanity_n shall_v be_v capable_a of_o entertain_v such_o
take_v heed_n of_o the_o least_o sin_n direct_v our_o conversation_n in_o a_o more_o elevate_v and_o steady_a course_n then_o usual_a as_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o lie_v open_a to_o the_o awful_a view_n of_o a_o omnipotent_a and_o most_o glorious_a deity_n as_o also_o we_o can_v more_o due_o humble_v ourselves_o and_o pray_v before_o he_o with_o a_o fervent_a with_o a_o lively_a earnestness_n and_o confidence_n of_o obtain_v for_o first_o the_o abundant_a experience_n of_o god_n great_a love_n towards_o we_o together_o with_o that_o love_a affection_n which_o we_o feel_v in_o our_o heart_n towards_o he_o again_o breed_v a_o kind_n of_o union_n and_o friendship_n betwixt_o god_n and_o our_o soul_n and_o this_o union_n beget_v a_o trust_n and_o confidence_n in_o he_o and_o then_o this_o confidence_n do_v full_o persuade_v we_o that_o we_o shall_v prevail_v with_o he_o in_o any_o thing_n so_o that_o it_o be_v best_a for_o we_o to_o obtain_v it_o i_o say_v best_a for_o we_o that_o be_v for_o our_o good_a though_o not_o always_o to_o our_o like_n our_o prayer_n very_o it_o be_v fit_a they_o shall_v be_v confident_a but_o they_o may_v not_o be_v obstinate_a and_o self-willed_a nature_n do_v use_v to_o take_v it_o harsh_a not_o to_o have_v she_o desire_v grant_v but_o david_n resolution_n in_o psal_n 39_o will_v at_o length_n pretty_a well_o satisfy_v she_o i_o become_v dumb_a and_o open_v not_o my_o mouth_n for_o it_o be_v thy_o do_v for_o it_o be_v thy_o do_v that_o be_v the_o reason_n to_o stop_v our_o mouth_n and_o hold_v we_o content_v and_o it_o be_v our_o saviour_n reason_n and_o resolution_n in_o matth._n 36._o 39_o nevertheless_o not_o as_o i_o will_v but_o as_o thou_o will_v god_n will_v we_o be_v sure_a be_v far_o better_a than_o we_o and_o therefore_o good_a reason_n it_o be_v that_o we_o shall_v in_o all_o patience_n and_o humility_n be_v rule_v by_o he_o better_a it_o be_v in_o his_o care_n for_o he_o have_v a_o great_a care_n over_o we_o than_o we_o can_v have_v of_o ourselves_o and_o better_o in_o his_o wisdom_n and_o foreknowledge_n for_o he_o know_v far_o better_a what_o be_v good_a for_o we_o than_o we_o know_v for_o ourselves_o our_o sinful_a will_n do_v seldom_o aim_v aright_o lord_n give_v we_o what_o be_v fit_v in_o thy_o sight_n what_o thy_o good_a will_n and_o pleasure_n be_v and_o we_o be_v content_v again_o as_o we_o have_v such_o a_o submissive_a trust_n and_o confidence_n of_o obtain_v in_o prayer_n so_o be_v we_o always_o more_o affectionate_o apprehensive_a of_o what_o we_o do_v pray_v then_o in_o the_o time_n of_o sin_n our_o thought_n can_v go_v along_o and_o keep_v turn_n with_o the_o word_n of_o our_o prayer_n at_o the_o confession_n of_o sin_n shall_v we_o feel_v ourselves_o press_v with_o the_o burden_n of_o our_o wretchedness_n at_o the_o petition_n of_o grace_n our_o soul_n will_v be_v athirst_a after_o the_o live_a god_n oh_o when_o shall_v we_o be_v satisfy_v with_o the_o fullness_n of_o his_o mercy_n at_o thanksgiving_n for_o his_o blessing_n our_o heart_n do_v as_o it_o be_v run_v over_o with_o the_o abundance_n of_o his_o loving-kindnesse_n even_o so_o have_v thy_o mercy_n embrace_v we_o on_o every_o side_n that_o who_o can_v set_v forth_o thy_o praise_n o_o lord_n or_o declare_v the_o goodness_n that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o our_o soul_n thus_o i_o say_v we_o can_v now_o keep_v our_o thought_n near_o to_o the_o sense_n in_o prayer_n then_o at_o other_o time_n and_o yet_o we_o shall_v find_v it_o at_o the_o best_a time_n of_o our_o devotion_n very_o difficult_a to_o keep_v our_o intention_n close_o to_o it_o any_o long_a while_n special_o in_o public_a pray_v for_o do_v what_o we_o can_v ever_o and_o anon_o our_o mind_n will_v be_v slide_v away_o from_o the_o matter_n in_o hand_n and_o dream_v upon_o other_o imagination_n at_o least_o some_o other_o thought_n on_o the_o sudden_a do_v come_v athwart_o we_o and_o put_v we_o from_o the_o sense_n so_o that_o seldom_o do_v we_o hold_v our_o intention_n steady_a upon_o it_o throughout_o a_o whole_a prayer_n unless_o it_o be_v very_o short_a for_o we_o may_v here_o pertinent_o take_v notice_n that_o sin_n be_v so_o natural_o root_v in_o we_o and_o all_o mankind_n that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a hard_a task_n if_o with_o due_a inward_a silence_n we_o observe_v it_o in_o ourselves_o to_o keep_v our_o secret_a thought_n within_o compass_n even_o whilst_o the_o eye_n of_o conscience_n be_v most_o watchful_a i_o say_v even_o whilst_o the_o star_n of_o jacob_n shine_v most_o bright_a in_o we_o to_o purge_v away_o the_o dark_a of_o night_n so_o that_o it_o be_v no_o marvel_n david_n say_v that_o the_o righteous_a man_n fall_v seven_o time_n a_o day_n whenas_o there_o be_v seldom_o a_o hour_n in_o the_o day_n even_o in_o the_o pure_a condition_n of_o our_o life_n special_o if_o we_o have_v any_o concernment_n to_o be_v conversant_a in_o outward_a affair_n i_o say_v scarce_o a_o hour_n wherein_o extravagant_a and_o unlawful_a imagination_n or_o desire_n do_v not_o most_o thrust_v themselves_o into_o the_o mind_n which_o though_o perhaps_o indeed_o the_o awake_n care_n of_o conscience_n by_o god_n help_n do_v quick_o check_v out_o again_o with_o shame_n in_o these_o or_o the_o like_a motion_n of_o dislike_n as_o fie_o it_o be_v not_o right_a god_n forbid_v yet_o the_o corruption_n of_o nature_n hereby_o show_v itself_o to_o be_v always_o active_a in_o we_o though_o it_o do_v not_o now_o prevail_v as_o it_o will_v o_o lord_n god_n our_o best_a condition_n in_o this_o world_n thou_o know_v be_v but_o as_o a_o night_n in_o which_o thougb_n there_o be_v some_o light_n shine_v within_o we_o yet_o be_v there_o much_o more_o darkness_n and_o therefore_o our_o experience_n methinks_v do_v most_o fit_o and_o natural_o moralize_v that_o expression_n of_o thy_o concern_v our_o saviour_n numb_a 24_o where_o thou_o have_v call_v he_o by_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n the_o star_n of_o jacob_n even_o as_o it_o be_v the_o day_n star_n of_o heaven_n arise_v in_o our_o heart_n a_o star_n and_o that_o befit_v the_o night_n and_o yet_o a_o star_n which_o shine_v to_o our_o soul_n and_o conscience_n with_o a_o bless_a light_n of_o joy_n and_o comfort_n and_o so_o as_o saint_z john_n with_o his_o baptise_v tear_n of_o repentance_n prepare_v the_o way_n for_o our_o saviour_n to_o be_v entertain_v in_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n so_o i_o say_v the_o watery_a cloud_n of_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n pass_v away_o from_o our_o reâ—enting_a soul_n do_v unvayl_v our_o saviour_n unto_o we_o that_o star_n and_o light_n of_o divine_a grace_n that_o he_o may_v shine_v out_o again_o as_o the_o joyful_a light_n of_o our_o salvation_n and_o o_o most_o merciful_a saviour_n thou_o that_o be_v here_o a_o star_n unto_o we_o a_o daystar_n appear_v before_o the_o sunrising_n be_v thou_o hereafter_o in_o heaven_n the_o sun_n itself_o the_o sun_n of_o righteousness_n shine_v in_o most_o perfect_a glory_n unto_o all_o eternity_n but_o to_o go_v on_o lo_o the_o sweet_a olive_n branch_n that_o this_o noab_n dove_n repentant_a reconciliation_n bring_v in_o unto_o the_o soul_n it_o be_v say_v prov._n â—8_o 1._o that_o the_o righteous_a be_v as_o bold_a as_o a_o lion_n lord_n who_o be_v there_o that_o can_v say_v he_o be_v righteous_a before_o thou_o when_o as_o the_o very_a angel_n be_v unclean_a in_o thy_o sight_n much_o more_o be_v we_o the_o very_o best_a piece_n of_o who_o life_n be_v as_o a_o menstruous_a cloth_n defile_v with_o gross_a imperfection_n yet_o see_v the_o near_o we_o draw_v on_o thereunto_o the_o less_o fearful_a we_o be_v the_o terriblenesse_n of_o thunder_n which_o according_a to_o the_o poet_n be_v apt_a with_o fear_n to_o shake_v the_o mind_n of_o man_n jussit_fw-la &_o humanas_fw-la motura-tonitrua_a mentes_fw-la or_o the_o hideous_a example_n of_o god_n judgement_n and_o the_o â—ike_a nay_o even_o terrible_a death_n itself_o which_o according_a to_o the_o ancient_n be_v natural_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d the_o most_o terrible_a of_o all_o terrible_a thing_n all_o these_o with_o which_o we_o be_v wont_n to_o be_v affright_v do_v not_o now_o strike_v we_o with_o so_o deep_a a_o passion_n of_o fear_n nor_o go_v through_o our_o loin_n with_o such_o a_o terror_n and_o that_o not_o at_o all_o because_o of_o any_o deadness_n of_o conscience_n but_o out_o of_o the_o liveliness_n of_o faith_n i_o say_v because_o the_o lord_n as_o it_o be_v in_o psal_n 27_o be_v our_o light_n and_o our_o salvation_n who_o then_o methinks_v shall_v we_o fear_v the_o lord_n be_v the_o strength_n of_o our_o life_n that_o be_v the_o trust_n and_o confidence_n of_o our_o soul_n of_o who_o or_o of_o what_o shall_v we_o be_v afraid_a again_o the_o
service_n of_o god_n lead_v we_o into_o that_o glorious_a liberty_n which_o as_o i_o conceive_v saint_n paul_n speak_v of_o of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n first_o i_o mean_v that_o liberty_n whereby_o we_o feel_v our_o conscience_n set_v free_a from_o the_o dote_a scrupulosity_n of_o thing_n unnecessary_a and_o indifferent_a the_o which_o perchance_o at_o some_o other_o time_n we_o may_v be_v apt_a to_o stick_v upon_o with_o perplexity_n second_o i_o mean_v that_o liberty_n we_o may_v call_v it_o the_o liberty_n of_o obedience_n which_o as_o it_o make_v we_o willing_o and_o free_o to_o obey_v our_o better_n cause_n it_o be_v for_o god_n glory_n who_o have_v appoint_v the_o same_o and_o '_o cause_n it_o be_v for_o his_o glory_n to_o do_v he_o service_n in_o it_o so_o again_o it_o make_v we_o so_o free_a in_o spirit_n as_o not_o to_o stoop_v to_o any_o ignoble_a or_o disgraceful_a servility_n that_o be_v with_o a_o base_a and_o cowardly_a heart_n to_o yield_v our_o approbation_n in_o any_o unjust_a &_o indirect_a course_n because_o our_o superior_n either_o like_a or_o command_v it_o to_o call_v good_a evil_n or_o evil_a good_a for_o any_o cause_n whatsoever_o no_o we_o have_v a_o warrant_n for_o it_o methinks_v in_o our_o soul_n not_o to_o deny_v the_o truth_n for_o the_o fear_n or_o love_n of_o the_o great_a or_o dear_a one_o in_o the_o world_n for_o if_o we_o deny_v the_o truth_n we_o deny_v he_o that_o be_v great_a and_o dear_a unto_o we_o then_o any_o can_v be_v beside_o even_o god_n himself_o for_o god_n be_v truth_n say_v saint_n john_n and_o sure_o he_o that_o be_v in_o subjection_n to_o father_n or_o mother_n as_o our_o saviour_n say_v or_o even_o unto_o any_o other_o creature_n more_o than_o unto_o god_n be_v not_o worthy_a of_o he_o many_o time_n this_o free_a spirit_n be_v apt_a to_o degenerate_v into_o a_o fiery_a spirit_n so_o that_o in_o stead_n of_o a_o moderate_a use_n of_o the_o liberty_n of_o truth_n towards_o superior_n shall_v we_o be_v ready_a to_o fall_v into_o a_o rash_a and_o disobedient_a humour_n against_o they_o joab_n deal_n with_o king_n david_n 1_o chron._n 21._o 3_o be_v a_o singular_a example_n to_o be_v follow_v in_o this_o kind_n that_o be_v to_o be_v so_o free_o faithful_a unto_o our_o better_n as_o not_o to_o flatter_v or_o back_v they_o on_o in_o that_o which_o be_v evil_a and_o yet_o not_o use_v our_o liberty_n as_o a_o cloak_n of_o maliciousness_n so_o love_o respectful_a as_o not_o to_o contradict_v their_o power_n with_o a_o undiscreet_a and_o churlish_a impatiency_n moreover_o this_o our_o foresay_a unity_n and_o reconciliation_n with_o god_n crown_v our_o soul_n with_o many_o happy_a and_o rare_a advantage_n but_o special_o in_o this_o that_o it_o make_v our_o spirit_n cheerful_a merry_a and_o full_a of_o rejoice_v a_o good_a conscience_n be_v as_o a_o continual_a feast_n wherein_o we_o be_v satisfy_v with_o all_o good_a thing_n as_o with_o marrow_n and_o fatness_n and_o therefore_o most_o fit_o have_v our_o saviour_n name_v the_o holy_a ghost_n a_o comforter_n and_o be_v shall_v give_v you_o another_o comforter_n joh._n 14._o 16._o a_o comforter_n and_o true_o so_o for_o how_o can_v sadness_n take_v fast_o hold_v in_o that_o breast_n where_o this_o heavenly_a joy_n and_o comfort_n do_v abide_v thus_o for_o a_o season_n do_v we_o flourish_v in_o the_o state_n of_o reconciliation_n flourish_n like_o a_o herb_n nourish_v with_o the_o dew_n of_o heaven_n or_o like_o the_o tree_n in_o david_n psalm_n plant_v by_o the_o water_n side_n the_o flow_a river_n of_o god_n mercy_n and_o now_o and_o now_o perchance_o that_o we_o have_v spend_v some_o day_n or_o else_o some_o week_n in_o these_o more_o sacred_a way_n we_o must_v begin_v to_o take_v a_o unwilling_a farewell_n of_o this_o our_o happiness_n for_o by_o this_o time_n that_o heart_n and_o courage_n against_o sin_n which_o we_o have_v get_v by_o repentance_n do_v flag_n grow_v less_o and_o less_o and_o decay_n till_o we_o be_v defile_v therewith_o as_o before_o the_o drowsy_a eye_n by_o little_a and_o little_o fall_v asleep_o it_o know_v not_o how_o and_o be_v it_o not_o for_o the_o awake_n again_o it_o will_v scarce_o perceive_v whether_o it_o have_v sleep_v or_o no_o so_o even_o so_o insensible_o do_v sin_n creep_v on_o and_o so_o subtle_o get_v within_o we_o that_o we_o can_v never_o almost_o feel_v it_o till_o the_o sting_n thereof_o have_v awaken_v our_o conscience_n unto_o repentance_n and_o then_o again_o perceive_v the_o wickedness_n of_o our_o heart_n and_o the_o foul_a enormity_n of_o sin_n shall_v we_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o our_o soul_n and_o detestation_n of_o our_o iniquity_n humble_v ourselves_o even_o below_o the_o dust_n of_o the_o earth_n account_v we_o not_o worthy_a to_o be_v the_o vile_a creature_n under_o the_o cope_n of_o heaven_n that_o have_v be_v so_o wicked_o perfidious_a against_o our_o creator_n and_o therefore_o do_v we_o consider_v and_o earnest_o resolve_v for_o the_o present_a if_o it_o will_v please_v he_o once_o more_o even_o this_o once_o more_o to_o forgive_v we_o this_o our_o sin_n sure_o methinks_v all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n shall_v not_o prevail_v to_o overtake_v we_o so_o again_o for_o this_o do_v always_o touch_v we_o near_o and_o trouble_v we_o most_o that_o we_o be_v so_o faithless_a unto_o god_n and_o so_o full_a of_o hypocrisy_n before_o he_o that_o whereas_o at_o our_o last_o repentance_n we_o have_v so_o sincere_o so_o hearty_o and_o so_o serious_o promise_v amendment_n of_o life_n and_o also_o with_o our_o whole_a might_n and_o main_a to_o obey_v god_n and_o please_v he_o nevertheless_o though_o our_o promise_n do_v seem_v to_o be_v never_o so_o hearty_a and_o with_o so_o full_a a_o purpose_n yet_o the_o end_n and_o event_n do_v show_v that_o there_o be_v hypocrisy_n in_o it_o even_o great_a hypocrisy_n for_o when_o temptation_n come_v and_o sin_n be_v at_o hand_n then_o do_v we_o falshearted_o and_o cowardly_o not_o only_o not_o due_o strive_v against_o and_o resist_v it_o but_o even_o base_o yield_v unto_o it_o so_o infirm_a be_v our_o best_a ability_n that_o our_o saviour_n have_v wise_o teach_v we_o to_o pray_v to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o try_v our_o strength_n with_o temptation_n o_o lead_v we_o not_o into_o temptation_n but_o our_o weakness_n or_o rather_o wickedness_n be_v yet_o great_a not_o only_o in_o so_o easy_o suffer_v temptation_n to_o prevail_v over_o we_o but_o also_o in_o our_o readiness_n to_o join_v with_o it_o and_o help_v it_o forward_o hug_v the_o very_a first_o motion_n thereof_o in_o our_o breast_n so_o that_o we_o may_v say_v of_o our_o soul_n as_o david_n do_v of_o the_o wicked_a man_n psal_n 50._o 18_o thou_o no_o soon_o see_v that_o thief_n sin_n but_o thou_o consent_v with_o he_o and_o baste_v be_v partaker_n etc._n etc._n nay_o many_o time_n we_o do_v go_v one_o degree_n far_o beside_o this_o hug_v and_o hasty_a embrace_v of_o the_o evil_a motion_n of_o sin_n propose_v unto_o we_o i_o say_v one_o degree_n far_o even_o by_o seek_v after_o temptation_n and_o invite_v of_o outward_a mean_n to_o beget_v sin_n within_o we_o just_o as_o those_o of_o who_o isaiah_n speak_v that_o draw_v iniquity_n with_o cord_n of_o vanity_n and_o sin_n as_o it_o be_v with_o a_o cart-rope_n well_o notwithstanding_o though_o sin_n do_v thus_o even_o die_v our_o soul_n in_o grain_n thy_o mercy_n lord_n can_v purge_v out_o all_o the_o stain_n before_o thou_o we_o be_v '_o shame_v to_o show_v our_o face_n but_o all_o our_o hope_n be_v in_o thy_o save_a grace_n notwithstanding_o i_o say_v the_o unhappy_a discouragement_n of_o sin_n we_o shall_v embolden_v ourselves_o to_o offer_v up_o in_o this_o manner_n our_o resolution_n unto_o the_o lord_n o_o merciful_a father_n if_o it_o will_v please_v thou_o to_o pass_v by_o our_o iniquity_n and_o to_o forgive_v we_o this_o time_n sure_o now_o in_o good_a earnest_n we_o will_v perform_v our_o word_n we_o will_v certain_o keep_v our_o promise_n and_o set_v ourselves_o more_o sincere_o to_o it_o then_o before_o hitherto_o we_o have_v promise_v well_o but_o now_o will_v we_o do_v well_o know_v very_o that_o it_o be_v not_o the_o sudden_a passion_n of_o a_o good_a desire_n that_o be_v sufficient_a but_o the_o constant_a habit_n of_o better_a obedience_n it_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o have_v the_o show_n of_o godliness_n in_o our_o mouth_n and_o bare_a intention_n if_o we_o deny_v the_o true_a power_n and_o effect_v thereof_o in_o our_o life_n and_o conversation_n we_o will_v now_o therefore_o act_v out_o our_o intendment_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o religion_n whatsoever_o have_v be_v past_a we_o will_v now_o certain_o be_v altogether_o in_o good_a earnest_n there_o shall_v nothing_o hinder_v we_o thus_o
even_o thus_o so_o eager_a so_o intentive_a and_o so_o earnest_a shall_v we_o be_v sometime_o that_o we_o desire_v forgiveness_n from_o god_n on_o no_o other_o term_n but_o as_o he_o do_v find_v our_o amendment_n afterward_o we_o will_v even_o be_v deal_v withal_o according_a to_o our_o good_a behaviour_n and_o not_o only_o so_o but_o we_o shall_v be_v ready_a to_o imprecate_v a_o revenge_n of_o our_o breach_n of_o promise_n with_o some_o due_a punishment_n upon_o our_o head_n and_o to_o expect_v from_o god_n no_o otherwise_o to_o be_v merciful_a unto_o we_o then_o as_o that_o we_o do_v approve_v our_o faithfulness_n unto_o he_o and_o yet_o for_o all_o this_o this_o utmost_a resolution_n that_o may_v be_v be_v we_o at_o no_o time_n as_o good_a as_o our_o word_n i_o say_v at_o no_o time_n can_v we_o thorough_o withstand_v sin_n it_o always_o overmatch_v we_o it_o be_v too_o strong_a for_o we_o to_o deal_v with_o sin_n special_o of_o all_o the_o rest_n the_o sin_n of_o our_o nature_n our_o darling_n and_o sweet_a a_o ree_a sin_n this_o therefore_o exceed_a unfaithfulnesse_n of_o we_o in_o that_o we_o do_v so_o vehement_o promise_v that_o which_o we_o do_v never_o according_o perform_v do_v at_o length_n methinks_v at_o every_o time_n of_o our_o repentance_n bring_v we_o so_o much_o the_o further_o out_o of_o credit_n with_o god_n so_o that_o we_o can_v hardly_o see_v how_o he_o shall_v believe_v or_o forgive_v we_o any_o more_o who_o have_v thus_o often_o deal_v so_o false_o with_o he_o nevertheless_o sin_n do_v press_v we_o so_o sore_o that_o we_o may_v not_o sit_v still_o in_o quiet_a till_o we_o get_v ease_n by_o repentance_n the_o conscience_n like_o a_o stomach_n that_o be_v displease_v with_o meat_n do_v vomit_n till_o she_o can_v be_v ease_v in_o this_o case_n we_o shall_v be_v very_o loath_a perchance_o and_o altogether_o ashamed_a to_o come_v again_o into_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n as_o adam_n be_v in_o gen._n 3._o 10_o yet_o necessity_n do_v prick_v we_o forward_o because_o o_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v from_o thy_o presence_n to_o have_v any_o comfort_n in_o this_o our_o misery_n to_o thou_o therefore_o must_v we_o need_v come_v o_o thou_o preserver_n of_o man_n necessity_n i_o sav_v set_v we_o forward_o and_o at_o length_n so_o often_o experience_n bring_v we_o to_o consider_v with_o ourselves_o and_o thus_o to_o close_v our_o judgement_n more_o near_o to_o the_o matter_n that_o since_o there_o must_v needs_o be_v something_o else_o in_o it_o beside_o the_o secret_a hypocrisy_n of_o our_o own_o heart_n why_o so_o many_o promise_n shall_v vanish_v in_o the_o air_n so_o many_o promise_n which_o for_o thâ—_n present_v we_o can_v perceive_v but_o that_o they_o do_v come_v most_o hearty_o and_o sincere_o from_o we_o sure_a we_o shall_v think_v to_o ourselves_o there_o be_v some_o other_o difficulty_n in_o it_o sure_o there_o be_v somewhat_o else_o hinder_v that_o we_o can_v be_v as_o good_a as_o our_o word_n and_o thus_o consider_v after_o a_o while_o we_o begin_v to_o feel_v out_o the_o knot_n that_o indeed_o it_o be_v no_o marvel_n why_o we_o can_v not_o perform_v that_o which_o we_o do_v promise_v when-as_a we_o do_v promise_v that_o which_o we_o can_v not_o perform_v that_o which_o of_o ourselves_o we_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o bring_v to_o pass_v now_o therefore_o it_o be_v easy_a to_o see_v the_o folly_n of_o our_o too-violent_a and_o vehement_a earnestness_n in_o say_v we_o will_v do_v this_o and_o we_o will_v do_v that_o the_o which_o be_v not_o in_o our_o power_n to_o effect_v and_o therefore_o more_o due_o weigh_v within_o ourselves_o that_o it_o be_v god_n alone_o who_o work_v both_o the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n as_o saint_n paul_n speak_v we_o learn_v thereby_o more_o moderate_o and_o sober_o to_o say_v o_o draw_v we_o and_o wâ—_n will_v run_v after_o thou_o lord_n we_o will_v be_v better_o we_o desire_v to_o avoid_v sin_n but_o help_v thou_o our_o desire_n we_o may_v also_o in_o saint_n paul_n word_n true_o say_v that_o we_o labour_v labour_n in_o our_o mind_n to_o be_v rid_v of_o sin_n and_o to_o attain_v some_o better_a condition_n of_o life_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o we_o but_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n which_o be_v with_o we_o it_o be_v our_o labour_n and_o it_o be_v not_o we_o something_o there_o be_v no_o question_n in_o we_o to_o set_v forward_o in_o the_o business_n and_o yet_o this_o something_o without_o god_n we_o do_v sufficient_o find_v to_o be_v even_o as_o nothing_o we_o may_v as_o indeed_o we_o must_v be_v do_v and_o so_o we_o our_o endeavour_n but_o let_v we_o know_v and_o be_v assure_v that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o harvest_n except_o god_n prosper_v it_o for_o it_o shall_v be_v like_o the_o corn_n grow_v upon_o the_o house_n top_n wherewith_o the_o mower_n fill_v not_o his_o hand_n neither_o he_o that_o bind_v up_o the_o sheaf_n his_o bosom_n many_o time_n do_v we_o observe_v in_o the_o passage_n of_o our_o life_n that_o when_o we_o most_o strive_v and_o be_v most_o eager_o set_v to_o resist_v sin_n we_o shall_v usual_o never_o a_o jot_n the_o less_o but_o rather_o the_o more_o be_v foil_v with_o sin_n first_o the_o cause_n thereof_o as_o i_o judge_v be_v our_o impaciency_n for_o we_o may_v feel_v in_o ourselves_o if_o we_o mark_v it_o that_o herein_o we_o be_v not_o so_o patient_o content_v as_o we_o shall_v be_v to_o tarry_v the_o lord_n leisure_n but_o will_v make_v too_o much_o haste_n to_o be_v free_v before_o it_o be_v god_n will_v we_o shall_v saint_n paul_n himself_o will_v fain_o be_v deliver_v but_o it_o be_v answer_v he_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o again_o another_o cause_n may_v be_v for_o that_o perchance_o we_o do_v attribute_v too_o much_o to_o our_o own_o strength_n for_o the_o deliverance_n and_o therefore_o god_n will_v let_v we_o see_v how_o weak_a we_o be_v of_o ourselves_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n as_o of_o ourselves_o behold_v our_o sin_n take_v be_v with_o we_o in_o the_o womb_n they_o live_v with_o we_o from_o cradle_n to_o the_o tomb_n so_o weak_a be_v we_o &_o frail_a to_o encounter_v with_o sin_n the_o common_a enemy_n of_o mankind_n special_o this_o bosom_n enemy_n our_o natural_a sin_n and_o corruption_n that_o it_o be_v well_o if_o through_o continuance_n of_o many_o year_n together_o we_o can_v make_v these_o ague_n fit_v to_o break_v their_o course_n it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o every_o one_o have_v his_o double_a genius_n his_o good_a and_o evil_a angel_n to_o attend_v upon_o he_o the_o good_a angel_n i_o mean_v his_o natural_a inclination_n to_o some_o virtue_n more_o than_o ordinary_a the_o evil_a angel_n his_o natural_a inclination_n to_o some_o vice_n above_o the_o rest_n if_o we_o do_v keep_v out_o this_o evil_a angel_n this_o devil_n of_o we_o this_o satan_n and_o deceiver_n at_o arm_n end_n that_o be_v not_o suffer_v the_o temptation_n to_o enter_v in_o too_o near_o unto_o we_o we_o may_v perchance_o now_o and_o then_o escape_v the_o foil_n but_o when_o once_o he_o get_v within_o we_o sure_o we_o be_v then_o to_o be_v overcome_v there_o be_v no_o grapple_v with_o it_o in_o our_o own_o breast_n and_o oh_o how_o often_o and_o often_o be_v we_o thus_o shameful_o foil_v and_o overcome_v sometime_o do_v we_o think_v to_o ourselves_o lord_n shall_v we_o never_o be_v free_a from_o this_o pollution_n of_o sin_n we_o do_v hope_v this_o shall_v be_v the_o last_o time_n now_o we_o hope_v we_o shall_v do_v so_o no_o more_o but_o yet_o still_o there_o be_v no_o last_o there_o be_v no_o end_n with_o it_o the_o comfort_n that_o we_o have_v be_v this_o that_o as_o we_o do_v often_o sin_n so_o it_o be_v no_o long_a while_n that_o we_o continue_v in_o it_o without_o repentance_n and_o so_o then_o as_o david_n say_v though_o heaviness_n may_v endure_v for_o a_o night_n the_o night_n of_o sin_n yet_o joy_n come_v again_o in_o the_o morning_n the_o morning_n of_o repentance_n joy_n and_o that_o a_o double_a joy_n joy_n by_o reconciliation_n with_o god_n and_o regeneration_n unto_o righteousness_n and_o joy_n by_o spiritual_a comfort_n in_o divine_a meditation_n for_o the_o please_a exercise_n of_o these_o meditation_n like_o a_o sweet_a companion_n in_o our_o heavenly_a journey_n be_v seldom_o long_o absent_a from_o our_o soul_n be_v full_a of_o amiable_a delight_n and_o recreation_n refresh_v the_o heart_n with_o pleasure_n and_o sugar_v the_o affection_n so_o that_o many_o time_n the_o familiar_a conversation_n which_o we_o have_v with_o heaven_n and_o that_o angelical_a illumination_n of_o mind_n which_o be_v within_o we_o do_v make_v our_o ravish_a soul_n notwithstanding_o all_o other_o difficulty_n say_v unto_o themselves_o as_o jacoh_n
as_o the_o dispraise_n of_o vice_n the_o commendation_n of_o virtue_n the_o manner_n and_o mean_n of_o mortification_n of_o sanctification_n of_o our_o redemption_n and_o the_o like_a snuffle_v away_o all_o such_o matter_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a into_o other_o discourse_n because_o we_o feel_v our_o heart_n so_o dead_a and_o rot_a inward_a that_o these_o thing_n do_v nothing_o else_o but_o secret_o speak_v the_o condemnation_n and_o shame_n of_o our_o own_o life_n and_o therefore_o when_o as_o out_o of_o the_o abundance_n of_o the_o heart_n as_o say_v our_o saviour_n the_o mouth_n speak_v therefore_o i_o say_v on_o the_o other_o side_n our_o thought_n be_v always_o for_o the_o most_o part_n vain_o and_o outward_o dispose_v our_o delight_n be_v to_o be_v talk_v of_o vanity_n all_o the_o day_n long_o to_o be_v ask_v after_o and_o tell_v of_o news_n whereby_o to_o claw_v our_o idle_a fancy_n with_o or_o it_o may_v be_v question_v how_o rich_a other_o be_v what_o condition_n they_o be_v in_o how_o they_o do_v thrive_v and_o the_o like_a our_o melancholy_a thought_n main_o labour_v with_o emulation_n against_o other_o and_o such_o very_o be_v always_o the_o rivality_n and_o inward_a strive_v betwixt_o equal_n or_o those_o that_o be_v near_a equal_n in_o the_o same_o kind_n that_o sure_o i_o can_v think_v that_o it_o be_v a_o quality_n much_o less_o than_o natural_a unto_o all_o mankind_n so_o to_o contend_v in_o affectation_n of_o desire_n this_o emulation_n be_v there_o among_o the_o patriarch_n when_o they_o sell_v joseph_n and_o among_o the_o apostle_n when_o they_o viee_v who_o shall_v be_v the_o great_a and_o thus_o our_o mind_n be_v so_o whole_o set_v on_o earthly_a thing_n and_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n it_o be_v seldom_o that_o we_o can_v think_v upon_o those_o man_n that_o be_v in_o a_o little_a better_a prosperity_n than_o ourselves_o but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o envious_a emulation_n count_v it_o as_o so_o much_o the_o worse_o for_o we_o and_o a_o eyesore_n to_o our_o state_n and_o reputation_n that_o they_o go_v beyond_o we_o and_o again_o take_v it_o as_o it_o be_v somewhat_o the_o better_a for_o we_o and_o applaud_v ourselves_o in_o content_a therewith_o if_o they_o fall_v out_o and_o appear_v to_o be_v somewhat_o under_o the_o condition_n that_o we_o ourselves_o be_v in_o thus_o as_o we_o do_v envious_o think_v that_o too_o much_o which_o our_o successful_a neighbour_n have_v and_o enjoy_v and_o swell_v after_o their_o happiness_n with_o indignation_n at_o our_o own_o so_o also_o be_v we_o many_o time_n unhappy_a in_o our_o own_o happiness_n without_o any_o comparison_n at_o all_o or_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o but_o mere_o in_o ourselves_o and_o in_o regard_n of_o our_o own_o bottomless_a desire_n think_v all_o too_o little_a that_o we_o have_v although_o we_o do_v not_o think_v of_o any_o that_o have_v more_o just_a as_o the_o poet_n in_o a_o similitude_n of_o covetous_a man_n quo_fw-la plus_fw-la sunt_fw-la potae_fw-la plus_fw-la sitiuntur_fw-la aquae_fw-la the_o more_o they_o drink_v the_o more_o they_o be_v athirst_a so_o may_v we_o true_o say_v of_o ourselves_o in_o the_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n habakkuk_n chap._n 3_o we_o enlarge_v our_o desire_n as_o hell_n and_o as_o death_n which_o can_v be_v satisfy_v what_o we_o have_v already_o methinks_v serve_v but_o as_o the_o sauce_n to_o set_v a_o edge_n to_o the_o stomach_n to_o receive_v more_o as_o if_o we_o have_v a_o consume_a wolf_n in_o our_o breast_n or_o those_o two_o daughter_n of_o the_o horseleech_n which_o solomon_n speak_v of_o in_o prov._n 30_o which_o have_v no_o other_o language_n but_o continual_a cry_v out_o give_v give_v more_o still_o and_o yet_o more_o and_o yet_o no_o content_n he_o be_v not_o rich_a who_o mind_n do_v keep_v he_o poor_a he_o only_o have_v enough_o that_o seek_v no_o more_o nay_o far_o our_o apprehension_n be_v apt_a to_o be_v so_o subtle_o delude_v with_o this_o vice_n that_o as_o if_o avarice_n be_v a_o virtue_n we_o shall_v be_v ready_a to_o think_v and_o say_v of_o any_o one_o that_o be_v a_o hard_a and_o unreasonably-nee_a man_n in_o his_o deal_n and_o commerce_n with_o other_o and_o that_o will_v stand_v out_o for_o the_o utmost_a farthing_n in_o every_o thing_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o just_o due_a and_o to_o be_v yield_v unto_o of_o such_o a_o one_o i_o say_v who_o have_v cunning_o learn_v to_o oppress_v the_o poor_a man_n by_o the_o advantage_n of_o his_o necessity_n we_o shall_v be_v ready_a thus_o to_o think_v and_o say_v i_o warrant_v he_o be_v wise_a enough_o he_o will_v look_v to_o himself_o he_o will_v not_o be_v fool_v of_o his_o good_n take_v his_o example_n as_o a_o lawful_a pattern_n for_o we_o to_o imitate_v but_o of_o one_o that_o be_v a_o conscionable_a honest_a and_o plain-dealing_a man_n that_o will_v not_o stand_v so_o eager_o nor_o practice_v such_o policy_n for_o gain_n we_o be_v likely_a to_o judge_v he_o as_o a_o easy_a fool_n and_o not_o wise_a enough_o to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n but_o o_o alas_o one_o day_n one_o day_n peradventure_o we_o shall_v see_v that_o the_o wisdom_n of_o this_o world_n be_v foolishness_n with_o god_n acknowledge_v our_o mistake_n herein_o as_o they_o do_v who_o once_o say_v in_o the_o sorrowful_a conviction_n of_o their_o soul_n we_o fool_v count_v this_o man_n life_n this_o quiet_a honest_a man_n life_n madness_n and_o his_o end_n to_o be_v without_o honour_n but_o see_v how_o be_v he_o number_v among_o the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o his_o lot_n be_v among_o the_o saint_n therefore_o have_v we_o err_v when_o the_o soul_n have_v forsake_v god_n begin_v to_o go_v alone_o and_o to_o trust_v to_o its_o own_o strength_n so_o full_o do_v we_o present_o grow_v with_o superfluity_n of_o outward_a sense_n and_o humane_a wisdom_n that_o be_v we_o never_o so_o light_o touch_v with_o any_o thing_n which_o seem_v to_o waste_v and_o decay_v our_o temporal_a subsistence_n if_o once_o our_o egyptian_a staff_n this_o confidence_n on_o outward_a thing_n never_o so_o little_o begin_v to_o crack_v how_o be_v we_o ready_a to_o fall_v inâ—o_o utter_a despair_n sure_o we_o can_v continue_v with_o such_o a_o charge_n we_o can_v hold_v out_o long_o in_o such_o loss_n or_o expense_n our_o narrow_a heart_n nabal-like_a grunt_v and_o grumble_n for_o fear_n that_o we_o shall_v not_o have_v enough_o for_o ourselves_o to_o live_v by_o o_o thou_o unhappy_a soul_n of_o man_n in_o all_o distress_n doubt_n and_o calamity_n what_o patience_n or_o comfort_n can_v thou_o have_v who_o trust_v in_o such_o thing_n that_o can_v save_v now_o and_o then_o like_o prisoner_n within_o the_o grate_n we_o may_v look_v out_o into_o the_o fresh_a air_n and_o see_v the_o golden_a happiness_n of_o the_o day_n though_o we_o can_v get_v out_o and_o enjoy_v it_o we_o shall_v peradventure_o now_o sometime_o think_v upon_o repentance_n and_o gaze_v afar_o off_o on_o the_o joyful_a condition_n of_o the_o soul_n desire_v that_o we_o can_v be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bondage_n of_o sin_n nay_o and_o it_o may_v be_v we_o do_v also_o strive_v somewhat_o and_o endeavour_v our_o thought_n thereunto_o but_o alas_o it_o take_v no_o firm_a holdfast_n in_o our_o breast_n it_o go_v not_o through_o the_o heart_n nor_o serious_o to_o the_o quick_a as_o it_o shall_v but_o sudden_o it_o pass_v away_o again_o without_o effect_n or_o if_o it_o do_v take_v any_o hold_n in_o we_o it_o be_v very_o momentany_a &_o of_o short_a continuance_n obscure_v quick_o with_o the_o cloud_n of_o sin_n and_o altogether_o forget_v for_o let_v we_o know_v that_o conscience_n even_o in_o the_o free_a and_o full_a pursuit_n of_o sin_n be_v many_o time_n so_o real_a and_o urgent_a with_o we_o that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v slight_v but_o either_o by_o excuse_v ourselves_o by_o mitigate_a the_o nature_n of_o sin_n by_o a_o seem_a repentance_n or_o the_o like_a we_o must_v needs_o give_v it_o some_o content_n though_o it_o be_v but_o as_o a_o mere_a dulusion_n for_o the_o time_n and_o to_o no_o purpose_n at_o all_o but_o i_o prosecute_v the_o pattern_n of_o our_o intention_n in_o like_a manner_n as_o melancholy_n join_v with_o solitary_a privacy_n be_v wont_a to_o make_v good_a meditation_n in_o the_o time_n of_o grace_n take_v the_o deep_a root_n in_o nature_n so_o likewise_o it_o be_v unite_v with_o a_o retire_a solitariness_n make_v evil_a thought_n in_o the_o time_n of_o sin_n much_o more_o stubborne_o to_o persist_v within_o we_o cleave_v a_o great_a deal_n the_o fast_o to_o our_o apprehension_n and_o fix_v a_o far_o sore_a impression_n in_o our_o soul_n sad_n melancholy_n be_v true_o then_o in_o kind_n when_o silence_n lock_v the_o closet_n of_o the_o mind_n then_o do_v mischief_n take_v great_a
advantage_n when_o it_o get_v the_o soul_n to_o be_v alone_o by_o herself_o for_o homo_fw-la solus_fw-la aut_fw-la deus_fw-la aut_fw-la daemon_n the_o solitary_a and_o alone_a man_n be_v usual_o either_o exceed_a good_a in_o his_o thought_n or_o exceed_v bad_a and_o therefore_o now_o we_o find_v out_o of_o due_a experience_n now_o i_o say_v when_o as_o grace_n be_v not_o able_a to_o master_v our_o corruption_n that_o it_o be_v much_o better_a for_o we_o to_o use_v a_o sociable_a and_o jocund_a behaviour_n towards_o other_o address_v ourselves_o in_o a_o comply_a familia_fw-la ity_fw-la with_o good_a honest_a company_n in_o civil_a recreation_n then_o to_o be_v much_o retire_v alone_o though_o it_o may_v seem_v more_o strict_a because_o this_o very_o be_v many_o time_n a_o mean_n to_o put_v we_o from_o far_o worse_a thing_n and_o great_a inconvenience_n nature_n that_o be_v compose_v to_o melancholy_a we_o may_v fit_o conceive_v to_o be_v much_o like_a iron_n which_o receive_v a_o great_a heat_n of_o fire_n into_o it_o and_o retain_v it_o long_o than_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v of_o a_o rare_a and_o thin_a substance_n for_o we_o always_o feel_v these_o solitary_a these_o sad_a and_o melancholy_a sin_n of_o we_o to_o be_v of_o a_o far_o deep_a dye_n and_o to_o wound_v our_o conscience_n more_o dangerous_o than_o those_o other_o light_a kind_n of_o sin_n those_o merry_a as_o i_o may_v so_o call_v they_o and_o superficial_a sin_n these_o sad_a one_o i_o say_v be_v worse_o because_o they_o be_v mould_v with_o deliberation_n in_o the_o heart_n and_o come_v from_o a_o settle_a goodwill_n and_o determinate_a intention_n but_o those_o other_o those_o merry_a one_o be_v only_o for_o the_o most_o part_n as_o sudden_a flash_n arise_v more_o inconsiderate_o and_o pass_v away_o as_o a_o guest_n of_o one_o night_n well_o to_o proceed_v in_o anatomise_v the_o particular_n of_o this_o our_o now_o sinsick_a soul_n the_o wicked_a say_v solomon_n flee_v when_o none_o pursue_v he_o a_o evil_a conscience_n have_v move_v the_o foundation_n of_o our_o spiritual_a comfort_n every_o bush_n be_v a_o thief_n with_o we_o every_o thing_n become_v our_o enemy_n though_o not_o real_o yet_o in_o conceit_n how_o often_o and_o how_o apt_a be_v we_o now_o present_o to_o terrify_v disquiet_a and_o affright_v ourselves_o at_o nothing_o perchance_o but_o at_o the_o very_a shadow_n of_o thing_n for_o but_o thus_o if_o we_o fall_v out_o with_o any_o neighbour_n or_o other_o into_o enmity_n and_o discontent_n if_o but_o once_o we_o drink_v into_o our_o breast_n a_o perfect_a distaste_n there_o be_v no_o digest_v no_o forget_v nothing_o but_o vex_v in_o our_o soul_n so_o many_o eager_a fear_v and_o fretful_a thought_n do_v constant_o boil_v up_o in_o our_o stomach_n against_o he_o that_o from_o thence_o for_o a_o good_a while_n together_o whole_a cloud_n of_o fear_n of_o doubt_n and_o distemper_n do_v sollicitous_o overwhelm_v and_o pass_v over_o our_o head_n so_o that_o special_o if_o we_o speak_v not_o with_o the_o party_n in_o a_o pretty_a space_n after_o our_o close-kept_a thought_n be_v peradventure_o full_a of_o expect_v his_o suppose_a malice_n be_v ready_a to_o do_v we_o the_o great_a mischief_n that_o may_v be_v and_o so_o again_o be_v we_o thereupon_o hatch_n and_o prepare_v perchance_o like_o motion_n of_o revenge_n against_o he_o conceive_v some_o cruel_a tyranny_n wherewith_o to_o satisfy_v ourselves_o upon_o he_o little_o consider_v that_o all_o this_o while_n for_o the_o most_o part_n we_o do_v but_o fight_v with_o our_o own_o fancy_n fear_v where_o no_o fear_n be_v and_o conceive_v revenge_n where_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o revenge_n for_o at_o length_n have_v speak_v with_o our_o adversary_n and_o unfold_v ourselves_o together_o we_o shall_v most_o time_n find_v that_o he_o have_v scarce_o have_v any_o the_o least_o ill_a imagination_n against_o we_o and_o so_o by_o a_o true_a heart_a disclose_v our_o mind_n one_o to_o the_o other_o we_o be_v perhaps_o easy_o undeceive_v and_o become_v friend_n again_o whereas_o the_o mue_v up_o ourselves_o from_o our_o enemy_n in_o a_o melancholy_a strangeness_n and_o squint-eyed_a retire_n may_v breed_v a_o continual_a and_o a_o deep_a conscience-wounding_a grudge_n betwixt_o we_o the_o sullen_a man_n that_o be_v discontent_a bis_fw-ge life_n never_o want_v woe_n if_o nothing_o else_o will_v he_o torment_v his_o fancy_n prove_v his_o foe_n moreover_o the_o peevishness_n of_o our_o nature_n in_o like_a manner_n for_o want_v of_o the_o confirm_a strength_n of_o grace_n be_v always_o apt_a to_o construe_v the_o word_n and_o action_n of_o our_o enemy_n to_o the_o worst_a take_v every_o thing_n to_o be_v do_v by_o he_o either_o in_o despite_n or_o malicious_a disgrace_n and_o contempt_n of_o we_o eager_o affect_v and_o trouble_v ourselves_o with_o that_o conceit_a fury_n of_o our_o enemy_n which_o perchance_o be_v not_o in_o he_o or_o if_o it_o be_v it_o be_v that_o thing_n which_o we_o ought_v rather_o to_o pity_v then_o fight_v with_o even_o common_a christianity_n teach_v we_o to_o have_v more_o wit_n and_o godly_a advisednesse_n then_o as_o solomon_n say_v to_o meddle_v with_o a_o fool_n in_o his_o folly_n or_o with_o a_o madman_n in_o his_o madness_n with_o a_o unmanly_a weakness_n oâ—_n mind_n childish_o in_o the_o same_o sense_n to_o reply_v again_o to_o that_o his_o madness_n and_o fury_n but_o in_o stead_n thereof_o rather_o mild_o and_o charitable_o to_o entertain_v his_o foolish_a humour_n know_v ourselves_o also_o subject_a unto_o all_o infirmity_n but_o we_o can_v refrain_v this_o be_v our_o humour_n we_o must_v needs_o deal_v back_o again_o the_o word_n and_o deed_n that_o we_o do_v receive_v alas_o how_o sweet_a be_v the_o desire_n of_o retaliation_n and_o revenge_n to_o the_o solitary_a nature_n be_v without_o the_o direct_a power_n of_o godliness_n how_o can_v we_o put_v up_o such_o and_o such_o thing_n how_o can_v we_o choose_v but_o retort_v again_o oh_o that_o we_o be_v so_o rich_a so_o powerful_a as_o thus_o and_o thus_o what_o a_o happiness_n be_v it_o then_o for_o we_o to_o be_v able_a to_o crush_v our_o enemy_n and_o to_o cut_v they_o off_o as_o we_o will_v desire_v invidiâ_fw-la siculi_n non_fw-la invenere_fw-la tyranni_fw-la tormentum_fw-la majus_fw-la ----------------_o envy_n be_v a_o great_a torture_n to_o the_o mind_n then_o the_o sicilian_a tyrant_n ere_o do_v find_v this_o be_v envy_n to_o our_o soul_n the_o very_a devil_n of_o all_o sin_n that_o hellish_a tormentor_n of_o a_o melancholy_a mind_n which_o weary_v our_o thought_n with_o continual_a anguish_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n o_o lord_n when_o we_o well_o consider_v the_o whole_a scope_n of_o a_o sinful_a man_n or_o this_o man_n of_o sin_n which_o be_v within_o we_o we_o can_v choose_v but_o think_v how_o true_a it_o be_v which_o the_o prophet_n isaiah_n speak_v by_o thy_o special_a command_n isai_n 48._o 22._o that_o there_o be_v no_o peace_n unto_o the_o wicked_a no_o peace_n i_o say_v not_o only_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o sting_n of_o conscience_n which_o follow_v sin_n but_o also_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o ensnare_a and_o toilsome_a trouble_n of_o sin_n itself_o woe_n be_v we_o true_o no_o peace_n indeed_o with_o one_o thing_n or_o other_o we_o be_v still_o out_o of_o quiet_a either_o sin_n by_o nauseat_v distemper_n do_v disturb_v the_o health_n of_o the_o body_n or_o by_o laborious_a and_o far_o engage_v passion_n do_v unsettle_v the_o rest_n of_o the_o mind_n what_o peace_n at_o all_o be_v there_o long_o within_o we_o either_o immoderate_a fear_n or_o care_n or_o grief_n or_o desire_v be_v ever_o oppress_v our_o thought_n and_o here_o observe_v it_o whilst_o that_o we_o walk_v with_o god_n we_o be_v methinks_v fence_v about_o with_o his_o favour_n so_o that_o none_o can_v hurt_v we_o for_o his_o angel_n do_v pitch_v their_o tent_n for_o a_o guard_n round_o about_o they_o that_o serve_v he_o but_o now_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n what_o do_v we_o not_o fear_v how_o far_o without_o reason_n do_v this_o passion_n extend_v in_o our_o melancholy_a soul_n even_o almost_o into_o a_o infinite_a conceit_n for_o as_o a_o circle_n make_v in_o the_o water_n beget_v another_o circle_n big_a than_o itself_o and_o so_o that_o another_o again_o big_a than_o itself_o increase_a thus_o i_o know_v not_o how_o far_o just_o so_o the_o doubt_n and_o fear_n of_o our_o mind_n by_o solitary_a plod_n upon_o they_o will_v beget_v big_a and_o big_a and_o so_o big_a still_o without_o end_n thus_o where_o there_o be_v no_o faith_n there_o be_v no_o end_n of_o fear_n fear_v and_o unbelief_n have_v the_o like_a proportion_n in_o we_o and_o must_v needs_o go_v hand_n in_o hand_n together_o as_o it_o be_v revel_v 21_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieving_a and_o abominable_a etc._n etc._n again_o
to_o their_o own_o skill_n and_o wisdom_n how_o do_v they_o snarl_v themselves_o in_o blind_a conjecture_n lo_o this_o doubtless_o be_v the_o cause_n that_o our_o business_n take_v not_o effect_v it_o shall_v have_v be_v do_v by_o such_o or_o such_o a_o mean_n it_o such_o or_o such_o a_o time_n with_o these_o or_o these_o circumstance_n â—yring_v out_o ourselves_o to_o seek_v the_o reason_n thereof_o like_o those_o blind_a man_n that_o seek_v lot_n door_n and_o can_v not_o find_v it_o never_o think_v all_o this_o while_n on_o the_o divine_a providence_n which_o direct_v all_o thing_n towards_o which_o our_o thought_n ought_v to_o aim_v their_o first_o and_o chief_a regard_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v that_o oftentimes_o we_o do_v try_v so_o many_o way_n spend_v so_o much_o time_n break_v so_o many_o night_n sleep_n to_o no_o purpose_n for_o sure_a except_o the_o lord_n keep_v the_o city_n all_o our_o labour_n be_v lose_v the_o watchman_n wake_v but_o in_o vain_a as_o jehu_n answer_v jehoram_n 2_o king_n 9_o so_o may_v we_o answer_v our_o thought_n and_o with_o sufficient_a experience_n resolve_v ourselves_o what_o peace_n content_a or_o rest_n can_v there_o be_v so_o long_o as_o this_o jezebel_n of_o sin_n reign_v and_o remain_v within_o we_o no_o peace_n within_o nor_o yet_o no_o peace_n without_o but_o full_a of_o trouble_n toil_n and_o fear_n and_o doubt_n our_o peace_n with_o all_o thing_n utter_o do_v cease_v because_o with_o god_n we_o do_v not_o make_v our_o peace_n and_o thus_o on_o every_o side_n we_o both_o see_v and_o feel_v it_o even_o too_o much_o to_o our_o own_o grief_n that_o there_o be_v no_o peace_n unto_o the_o wicked_a the_o man_n of_o sin_n be_v a_o man_n of_o trouble_n trouble_v in_o his_o mind_n with_o the_o distraction_n of_o sin_n trouble_v in_o his_o conscience_n with_o fear_n of_o judgement_n every_o way_n disturb_v and_o out_o of_o rest_n and_o yet_o lo_o for_o all_o this_o that_o there_o be_v so_o much_o unquietness_n and_o trouble_v and_o discontent_n in_o our_o sin_n we_o be_v so_o strong_o hamper_v and_o engage_v therein_o that_o there_o be_v no_o power_n in_o we_o to_o break_v off_o the_o band_n thereof_o or_o cast_v away_o her_o cord_n from_o we_o through_o the_o habituate_v continuance_n therein_o it_o be_v so_o hard_a and_o difficult_a for_o we_o to_o repent_v i_o mean_v full_o and_o perfect_o to_o repent_v that_o it_o go_v even_o against_o might_n to_o think_v of_o make_v up_o a_o reckon_n and_o a_o account_n with_o god_n we_o be_v so_o total_o as_o it_o be_v turn_v into_o sin_n itself_o i_o mean_v such_o a_o invincible_a disposition_n of_o sin_v in_o all_o our_o conversation_n that_o o_o who_o shall_v deliver_v we_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n what_o course_n can_v we_o take_v to_o come_v out_o of_o this_o unhappiness_n it_o be_v high_a time_n to_o look_v about_o we_o to_o raise_v our_o thought_n to_o some_o better_a notion_n but_o such_o be_v the_o difficulty_n of_o true_a repentance_n that_o we_o can_v go_v through_o stitch_n with_o it_o but_o this_o and_o this_o opportunity_n be_v still_o put_v off_o with_o excuse_n with_o the_o presumptuous_a and_o flatter_a conceit_n that_o god_n mercy_n be_v infinite_a we_o have_v have_v often_o and_o often_o trial_n of_o it_o doubtless_o we_o shall_v have_v some_o better_a time_n and_o more_o fit_a season_n hereafter_o but_o we_o who_o find_v it_o so_o hard_a a_o matter_n at_o this_o time_n a_o thousand_o to_o one_o but_o that_o we_o find_v it_o more_o difficult_a the_o next_o the_o long_a we_o continue_v in_o sin_n without_o due_a repentance_n the_o more_o methinks_v be_v we_o entangle_v with_o it_o and_o daily_o snarl_v the_o fast_a from_o get_v out_o o_o therefore_o let_v we_o take_v heed_n in_o time_n and_o due_o consider_v this_o all_o we_o that_o now_o forget_v god_n consider_v this_o i_o say_v whilst_o we_o have_v time_n afford_v we_o lest_o in_o his_o wrath_n he_o sudden_o pluck_v we_o away_o and_o there_o be_v none_o to_o deliver_v we_o here_o it_o be_v observable_a according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v former_o intimate_v that_o though_o not_o usual_o yet_o sometime_o the_o conscience_n be_v so_o cunning_o daub_v up_o that_o it_o seem_v within_o we_o to_o be_v as_o well_o satisfy_v with_o the_o outward_a formality_n of_o religion_n as_o if_o it_o be_v in_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n and_o true_a reconciliation_n our_o mouth_n and_o the_o outside_n of_o our_o thought_n do_v draw_v near_o unto_o god_n when-as_a our_o heart_n the_o true_a depth_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v far_o from_o he_o even_o full_a of_o nothing_o but_o dead_a man_n bone_n the_o rottenness_n and_o corruption_n of_o sin_n we_o be_v i_o say_v thus_o so_o smooth_o delude_v in_o ourselves_o that_o we_o can_v seem_v bold_o to_o challenge_v acquaintance_n with_o christ_n and_o perhaps_o think_v that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o boast_v of_o great_a matter_n in_o his_o name_n and_o yet_o for_o all_o that_o peradventure_o as_o it_o be_v with_o those_o in_o the_o gospel_n mat._n 7._o peradventure_o i_o say_v christ_n himself_o may_v never_o so_o much_o as_o know_v or_o acknowledge_v one_o jot_n of_o christianity_n within_o we_o but_o this_o deceitfulness_n of_o religion_n this_o superficial_a delight_n be_v easy_o discern_v if_o we_o mark_v it_o well_o both_o by_o ourselves_o and_o other_o in_o that_o it_o be_v frequent_o wont_a to_o vent_v itself_o into_o a_o partial_a side_v contentious_a talk_n partaking_a and_o debate_v as_o those_o of_o who_o the_o apostle_n speak_v that_o fall_v out_o about_o their_o religion_n i_o be_o of_o paul_n i_o be_o of_o apollo_n i_o be_o of_o cephas_n take_v the_o shadow_n for_o the_o substance_n and_o mistake_v the_o truth_n thereof_o as_o though_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n so_o shallow_o seat_v in_o the_o soul_n that_o it_o consist_v in_o wittiness_n of_o discourse_n sharp_a understanding_n follow_v of_o opinion_n and_o the_o like_a no_o very_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n religion_n and_o godliness_n be_v not_o without_o as_o our_o saviour_n say_v but_o within_o we_o even_o in_o the_o dress_n order_v and_o manage_n of_o our_o own_o soul_n indeed_o our_o knowledge_n without_o charity_n may_v swell_v into_o contentious_a strive_n full_o of_o pride_n but_o true_a religion_n in_o that_o heart_n do_v dwell_v where_o patience_n love_n and_o humble_a thought_n abide_v what_o ever_o or_o however_o the_o conscience_n as_o i_o say_v may_v thus_o be_v delude_v and_o hold_v in_o some_o please_a satisfaction_n fine_o skin_v over_o for_o a_o while_n with_o the_o upper_a part_n of_o religion_n yet_o in_o the_o truth_n of_o it_o the_o wound_n that_o be_v so_o deep_a be_v not_o so_o easy_o cure_v this_o sinfulness_n of_o the_o mind_n here_o speak_v of_o have_v get_v such_o time_n and_o liberty_n with_o we_o be_v not_o without_o great_a difficulty_n deep_a sorrow_n many_o prayer_n and_o much_o carefulness_n take_v off_o again_o and_o therefore_o till_o we_o can_v by_o god_n special_a mercy_n attain_v unto_o this_o through_o pierce_a and_o happy_a repentance_n there_o be_v none_o so_o sovereign_a and_o helpful_a a_o mean_n to_o prevent_v the_o dangerous_a increase_n thereof_o as_o be_v the_o constant_a follow_v of_o a_o good_a employment_n ever_o to_o be_v do_v in_o one_o industrious_a action_n or_o another_o according_a to_o the_o quality_n and_o manner_n of_o our_o life_n even_o in_o one_o honest_a action_n or_o other_o though_o it_o be_v but_o to_o little_a advantage_n so_o that_o the_o rule_n be_v very_o true_a praestat_fw-la oriosum_fw-la esse_fw-la quam_fw-la nihil_fw-la agere_fw-la it_o be_v far_o better_o for_o we_o to_o be_v in_o action_n with_o that_o which_o be_v to_o no_o purpose_n so_o that_o we_o do_v not_o sin_n in_o it_o then_o to_o sit_v still_o and_o be_v altogether_o idle_a for_o alas_o we_o do_v by_o woeful_a experience_n find_v that_o idleness_n be_v right_o name_v the_o devil_n cushion_n be_v seldom_o out_o of_o one_o sin_n or_o other_o whilst_o we_o be_v out_o of_o action_n in_o some_o good_a employment_n this_o cushion_n make_v the_o devil_n so_o easy_a a_o seat_n that_o it_o be_v even_o a_o invincible_a work_n to_o remove_v he_o from_o our_o idle_a soul_n or_o make_v he_o sit_v away_o this_o be_v his_o seat_n i_o say_v and_o his_o shop_n too_o here_o he_o free_o sit_v and_o ply_v his_o utmost_a skill_n to_o mould_v our_o thought_n to_o the_o very_a wickedness_n of_o his_o heart_n desire_v here_o he_o sit_v forge_v and_o fashion_v all_o the_o ugly_a form_n of_o sin_n and_o foul_a monster_n of_o impiety_n that_o ever_o enter_v into_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n there_o be_v no_o sin_n so_o great_a so_o hellish_a and_o inhuman_a but_o idleness_n have_v be_v the_o mean_n to_o hatch_v it_o into_o the_o world_n quaeritur_fw-la
send_v from_o god_n just_o for_o our_o sin_n yet_o many_o time_n through_o the_o rigotous_a application_n thereof_o it_o prove_v to_o our_o evil_a nature_n not_o only_o unprofitable_a but_o hurtful_a for_o we_o find_v that_o when_o a_o wicked_a passion_n on_o whatsoever_o occasion_n be_v stir_v up_o in_o the_o height_n of_o its_o fury_n it_o be_v hard_a to_o be_v bridle_v and_o dangerous_a to_o be_v deal_v withal_o cain_n countenance_n fall_v with_o furious_a indignation_n gen._n 4._o 5_o and_o lo_o the_o sad_a effect_n it_o be_v but_o the_o eight_o verse_n that_o he_o slay_v his_o brother_n abel_n it_o be_v here_o worth_a the_o mark_v that_o sometime_o and_o in_o some_o of_o we_o the_o smooth_a facility_n of_o mind_n can_v perhaps_o jest_v out_o or_o pleasant_o put_v off_o those_o selfsame_a sin_n and_o disgrace_n which_o the_o rough_a seriousness_n of_o other_o do_v take_v with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o indignation_n discontent_a and_o shame_n the_o reason_n thereof_o partly_o without_o doubt_n be_v the_o different_a disposition_n of_o nature_n and_o partly_o also_o the_o experience_a policy_n of_o sin_n for_o sin_n when_o it_o be_v use_v and_o practise_v in_o the_o soul_n like_o a_o old_a fox_n grow_v more_o cunning_a and_o politic_a to_o conceal_v itself_o it_o can_v make_v its_o guiltiness_n seem_v to_o be_v innocence_n its_o covetousness_n seem_v to_o be_v liberality_n its_o pride_n humility_n etc._n etc._n herod-like_a become_a seem_o virtuous_a when_o it_o be_v never_o a_o whit_n the_o less_o but_o rather_o the_o more_o true_o vicious_a but_o further_a with_o the_o real_a discovery_n of_o ourselves_o moreover_o as_o the_o dogged_a morosity_n of_o our_o mind_n be_v frequent_o apparent_a in_o our_o behaviour_n towards_o our_o friend_n in_o our_o deal_n with_o stranger_n and_o other_o like_a instance_n that_o may_v be_v quick_o remember_v so_o also_o be_v our_o grudge_a unthankfulness_n not_o a_o little_a before_o god_n and_o in_o reference_n to_o his_o majesty_n so_o that_o when_o loss_n or_o cross_n do_v befall_v we_o our_o word_n be_v usual_o these_o or_o such_o like_a this_o be_v hard_a fortune_n there_o be_v no_o body_n so_o unhappy_a as_o we_o we_o i_o warrant_v have_v the_o worst_a lot_n and_o portion_n of_o all_o man_n foolish_o not_o at_o all_o hee_a the_o frequent_a misery_n of_o other_o daily_o before_o our_o eye_n that_o rod_n of_o god_n correction_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o our_o neighbour_n peradventure_o at_o the_o same_o present_a and_o do_v it_o may_v be_v in_o many_o degree_n go_v beyond_o we_o if_o not_o at_o the_o leastwise_o we_o may_v remember_v how_o far_o the_o affliction_n of_o poor_a job_n do_v outgo_v our_o great_a suffering_n and_o yet_o he_o sit_v embrace_v the_o dunghill_n with_o these_o word_n in_o his_o mouth_n the_o lord_n have_v give_v and_o the_o lord_n have_v take_v away_o bless_v be_v the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n have_v we_o receive_v all_o good_a from_o he_o so_o long_o and_o shall_v he_o think_v that_o now_o he_o do_v we_o wrong_n o_o the_o perverse_a impatiency_n of_o our_o sinful_a nature_n when_o our_o mind_n at_o first_o be_v new_o wound_v with_o our_o misfortune_n and_o whilst_o that_o it_o be_v in_o a_o fresh_a and_o yet-bleeding_a remembrance_n with_o we_o what_o curse_v and_o even_o nothing_o else_o but_o mad_o discontent_a imagination_n do_v there_o rise_v up_o and_o occur_v unto_o our_o mind_n how_o full_a of_o rage_v and_o masterless_a thought_n be_v we_o so_o that_o if_o we_o go_v about_o never_o so_o little_a to_o stop_v the_o furious_a current_n of_o they_o and_o to_o turn_v necessity_n into_o a_o virtue_n by_o apply_v the_o consideration_n of_o it_o to_o some_o contentful_a use_n or_o good_a resolution_n our_o wicked_a passion_n most_o time_n be_v so_o unruly_a with_o discontent_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n can_v we_o overmaster_v or_o bring_v it_o into_o the_o subjection_n of_o any_o sober_a thought_n which_o be_v so_o we_o must_v needs_o for_o the_o present_n let_v it_o slack_v and_o altogether_o as_o much_o as_o possible_a exclude_v it_o out_o of_o the_o mind_n if_o that_o haply_o afterward_o our_o passion_n be_v allay_v and_o more_o reasonable_a we_o may_v consider_v it_o with_o some_o discretion_n so_o hard_a a_o thing_n as_o i_o say_v be_v it_o to_o wrestle_v with_o a_o disturb_a passion_n in_o its_o excess_n and_o true_o as_o sin_n grow_v on_o in_o the_o soul_n so_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o mind_n grow_v further_o and_o further_o into_o excess_n and_o immoderate_a distemper_n sin_z when_o it_o get_v much_o strength_n within_o be_v methinks_v of_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n most_o like_a unto_o the_o pestilence_n the_o pestilence_n when_o the_o height_n of_o the_o disease_n be_v upon_o a_o man_n make_v he_o even_o as_o frenzy_n distemper_v with_o the_o violence_n thereof_o so_o as_o i_o say_v sin_n do_v here_o unhinge_v all_o the_o affection_n of_o the_o soul_n into_o a_o furious_a and_o madly-behaving_a humour_n when_o it_o fly_v much_o out_o of_o reason_n into_o a_o immoderate_a excess_n the_o pestilence_n when_o it_o work_v a_o full_a infection_n be_v a_o disease_n very_o mortal_a and_o deadly_a so_o that_o few_o escape_v it_o so_o sin_n when_o a_o man_n be_v much_o over_o go_v therewith_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o dangerous_a condition_n and_o it_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o god_n great_a mercy_n that_o we_o do_v overcome_v it_o last_o the_o pestilence_n that_o grand_a misery_n of_o mankind_n be_v usual_o attend_v upon_o with_o many_o inferior_a mischief_n as_o the_o measles_n small_a pox_n and_o the_o like_a so_o sin_n those_o great_a exorbitancy_n of_o the_o mind_n which_o be_v true_o the_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n and_o cause_n of_o all_o misery_n unto_o we_o man_n be_v ever_o accompany_v with_o small_a inconvenience_n and_o vanity_n of_o conversation_n and_o so_o then_o what_o with_o great_a sin_n and_o lesser_a vanity_n we_o may_v now_o well_o say_v with_o the_o preacher_n vanity_n of_o vanity_n all_o be_v vanity_n there_o be_v no_o word_n no_o deed_n no_o not_o a_o thought_n in_o we_o but_o his_o vain_n and_o altogether_o nought_o i_o say_v what_o be_v all_o our_o thought_n our_o word_n and_o deed_n but_o vain_a even_o of_o no_o weight_n substance_n and_o solidity_n for_o know_v thou_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o nihil_fw-la est_fw-la non_fw-la vanum_fw-la quod_fw-la non_fw-la ad_fw-la aeternitatem_fw-la pertinet_fw-la that_o all_o that_o be_v vain_a which_o aim_v not_o at_o eternity_n those_o thought_n thâ—se_a word_n those_o work_n which_o perish_v and_o do_v not_o accompany_v and_o follow_v we_o into_o heaven_n that_o we_o may_v there_o for_o ever_o rejoice_v of_o they_o those_o all_o those_o i_o say_v be_v vain_a and_o idle_a and_o such_o whereof_o we_o must_v be_v sure_a as_o our_o saviour_n say_v to_o give_v a_o account_n and_o thus_o through_o our_o so_o total_o deprave_a condition_n of_o sin_n all_o that_o be_v within_o we_o be_v become_v vanity_n and_o light_a than_o vanity_n itself_o our_o thought_n think_v vanity_n and_o nothing_o but_o vanity_n we_o say_v to_o ourselves_o what_o profit_n be_v there_o in_o serve_v the_o lord_n do_v not_o thing_n fall_v out_o and_o prosper_v as_o well_o with_o the_o wicked_a as_o the_o righteous_a doubtless_o he_o that_o dwell_v on_o high_a regard_v it_o not_o and_o there_o be_v no_o difference_n unto_o we_o again_o we_o think_v foolish_o have_v not_o god_n sâ—_n chain_v the_o course_n of_o thing_n by_o his_o eternal_a predestination_n to_o such_o and_o such_o period_n and_o event_n that_o the_o fatal_a boâ—nds_n and_o decree_n thereof_o we_o can_v by_o mean_n frustrate_v alter_v it_o we_o can_v how_o then_o be_v it_o in_o we_o to_o do_v good_a or_o to_o do_v evil_a it_o be_v not_o our_o fault_n that_o we_o be_v not_o save_v we_o can_v not_o sin_n bad_a â—e_n not_o appoint_v it_o and_o we_o can_v avoid_v it_o because_o he_o have_v appoint_v it_o thus_o we_o many_o time_n ignorant_o judge_v and_o conceive_v that_o god_n way_n be_v as_o our_o way_n but_o he_o shall_v one_o day_n convince_v and_o reprove_v we_o he_o shall_v set_v our_o sin_n before_o we_o make_v our_o conscience_n true_o to_o confess_v that_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v good_a be_v holy_a righteous_a and_o just_a but_o it_o be_v we_o of_o ourselves_o that_o have_v sin_v do_v wicked_o and_o stubborn_o go_v astray_o from_o thy_o commandment_n our_o thought_n think_v nothing_o but_o vanity_n such_o be_v the_o vain_a singularity_n of_o our_o intention_n in_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v of_o moment_n or_o considerablenesse_n that_o we_o contemptuous_o slight_a and_o light_o regard_v to_o follow_v the_o common_a manner_n and_o fashion_n always_o aim_v at_o some_o rare_a and_o unusual_a way_n thereby_o to_o be_v advance_v into_o a_o more_o general_a
by_o grace_n and_o to_o be_v more_o violent_o carry_v down_o the_o stream_n when_o once_o sin_n get_v the_o upper_a hand_n as_o also_o our_o manner_n of_o life_n may_v add_v great_a advantage_n unto_o temptation_n in_o sodom_n for_o to_o live_v a_o righteous_a lot_n it_o be_v like_o a_o painter_n that_o be_v without_o a_o spot_n by_o touch_v pitch_n alas_o it_o be_v no_o news_n to_o be_v defile_v if_o that_o we_o can_v choose_v he_o that_o be_v conversant_a where_o many_o occasion_n be_v offer_v shall_v hardly_o put_v by_o often_o inconvenience_n but_o we_o proceed_v with_o the_o secret_a sinful_a motion_n of_o our_o unhappy_a life_n when_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n of_o heedful_a concernment_n in_o our_o thought_n which_o we_o do_v endeavour_v to_o effect_v or_o have_v resolve_v upon_o to_o have_v it_o do_v if_o it_o chance_v any_o whit_n long_o to_o be_v delay_v and_o not_o finish_v forthwith_o according_a to_o our_o hope_n the_o greedy_a desire_n and_o expectation_n thereof_o be_v such_o a_o torture_n present_o to_o our_o over_o hasty_a soul_n that_o in_o a_o while_n out_o of_o distrustfulness_n we_o either_o utter_o despair_v of_o it_o or_o through_o impatiency_n of_o mind_n we_o strive_v if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o bring_v it_o to_o pass_v against_o might_n or_o otherwise_o one_o way_n or_o other_o be_v ready_a to_o procure_v some_o indirect_a mean_n whereby_o our_o eager_a intention_n may_v be_v fulfilld_v headles_o run_v on_o many_o time_n thus_o to_o multiply_v our_o sin_n without_o any_o reason_n not_o consider_v at_o all_o that_o if_o we_o have_v not_o torment_v ourselves_o with_o such_o over_o eagerness_n of_o expectation_n and_o sin_v against_o god_n with_o this_o unlawful_a hastiness_n of_o mind_n and_o despair_a thought_n doubtless_o our_o business_n will_v have_v never_o the_o worse_o but_o rather_o the_o better_a have_v take_v its_o effect_n in_o due_a time_n and_o this_o be_v that_o impatient_a hastiness_n of_o mind_n and_o distrustful_a fear_n that_o make_v many_o of_o we_o to_o curse_v and_o swear_v so_o much_o in_o the_o passion_n of_o discontent_n to_o go_v to_o witch_n for_o recover_v again_o the_o good_n that_o we_o lose_v or_o so_o soon_o as_o we_o be_v sick_a to_o post_v to_o the_o physician_n as_o our_o only_a hope_n and_o the_o like_a it_o be_v this_o impatient_a hastiness_n of_o mind_n that_o make_v saul_n offend_v 1_o sam._n 13._o 8_o whenas_o both_o he_o and_o ourselves_o do_v we_o but_o use_v the_o counsel_n of_o david_n psal_n 27._o 9_o to_o tarry_v the_o lord_n leisure_n and_o be_v strong_a i_o say_v his_o leisure_n with_o patience_n and_o be_v strong_a in_o faith_n we_o may_v very_o prevent_v many_o a_o sin_n nay_o perchance_o most_o sin_n for_o be_v it_o not_o this_o impatient_a hastiness_n of_o we_o what_o sin_n almost_o be_v there_o can_v prevail_v against_o we_o have_v we_o but_o that_o true_a patience_n and_o staidness_n of_o mind_n sober_o to_o wait_v and_o weary_a out_o the_o temptation_n the_o devil_n may_v go_v away_o from_o we_o as_o he_o come_v the_o storm_n most_o fierce_o for_o the_o time_n do_v rage_n stay_v but_o a_o little_a and_o it_o will_v assuage_v it_o be_v this_o too_o importunate_a hastiness_n that_o cause_v discontent_a murmur_n against_o god_n make_v we_o when_o thing_n go_v not_o to_o our_o mind_n and_o that_o we_o prosper_v not_o according_a to_o our_o account_n and_o expectation_n even_o make_v we_o i_o say_v half_a angry_a with_o the_o almighty_a as_o though_o he_o be_v a_o debtor_n to_o fulfil_v our_o desire_n it_o be_v this_o hastiness_n which_o draw_v we_o many_o time_n into_o the_o most_o dangerous_a impiety_n sin_n in_o time_n bring_v the_o soul_n into_o such_o a_o senseless_a dulness_n and_o stupidity_n that_o as_o if_o we_o have_v make_v a_o covenant_n with_o dâ—ath_n and_o a_o league_n with_o hell_n we_o be_v little_o move_v with_o any_o terror_n thereof_o and_o we_o quiet_o yield_v up_o ourselves_o as_o if_o there_o be_v a_o inevitable_a necessity_n for_o we_o to_o be_v thus_o wiek_v and_o ungodly_a we_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v or_o to_o do_v in_o the_o case_n we_o be_v so_o much_o plunge_v in_o this_o mire_n and_o clay_n where_o there_o be_v no_o ground_n no_o hope_n of_o come_v out_o that_o it_o be_v beyond_o all_o that_o we_o can_v think_v and_o endeavour_v to_o do_v ourselves_o any_o good_a and_o therefore_o we_o can_v conceive_v sin_n and_o this_o inward_a corruption_n of_o nature_n to_o be_v any_o otherwise_o in_o we_o then_o as_o a_o corruption_n in_o the_o body_n which_o when_o once_o it_o have_v get_v a_o long_a continue_a vent_n and_o run_a issue_n in_o the_o leg_n there_o be_v no_o stop_v thereof_o without_o present_a death_n to_o the_o party_n unless_o there_o be_v a_o issue_n make_v for_o it_o in_o another_o place_n and_o so_o we_o be_v thus_o fill_v as_o saint_n paul_n speak_v of_o the_o heathen_a rom._n 1_o with_o nothing_o but_o spiritual_a corruption_n in_o the_o soul_n unrighteousness_n fornication_n wickedness_n covetousness_n maticiousnesse_n etc._n etc._n we_o can_v imagine_v how_o the_o vent_n thereof_o can_v be_v stop_v but_o that_o it_o must_v needs_o have_v passage_n one_o way_n or_o other_o and_o indeed_o so_o for_o the_o most_o part_n when_o it_o be_v stop_v of_o its_o ordinary_a course_n it_o find_v out_o a_o secret_a vent_n elsewhere_o and_o true_o after_o this_o manner_n sometime_o we_o seem_v to_o be_v reclaim_v and_o reform_v of_o our_o accustom_a vice_n whenas_o in_o very_a deed_n we_o do_v but_o turn_v out_o of_o one_o sin_n into_o another_o for_o this_o be_v the_o devil_n policy_n now_o and_o then_o to_o imitate_v repentance_n by_o alter_v and_o change_v up_o and_o down_o our_o sin_n to_o the_o end_n they_o may_v not_o grow_v tedious_a unto_o we_o to_o make_v we_o loath_a and_o abhor_v they_o utter_o or_o perchance_o to_o give_v our_o conscience_n some_o satisfaction_n with_o the_o show_n of_o repentance_n that_o we_o may_v the_o more_o secure_o continue_v in_o sin_n for_o the_o devil_n have_v many_o shift_n to_o invent_v wherewith_o to_o give_v we_o content_a and_o delight_n he_o will_v provide_v all_o variety_n and_o pleasure_n that_o be_v possible_a to_o indulge_v our_o appetite_n as_o be_v weary_a of_o this_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v go_v to_o another_o our_o affection_n be_v tire_v with_o ambition_n we_o may_v recreate_v ourselves_o with_o lust_n and_o luxurious_a idleness_n our_o soul_n be_v stop_v of_o their_o course_n in_o malice_n and_o covetousness_n we_o may_v take_v as_o it_o be_v a_o turn_n another_o while_n in_o epicurism_n and_o indulge_v vanity_n sometime_o perhaps_o a_o variety_n in_o the_o manner_n of_o our_o sin_n for_o novelty_n sake_n may_v give_v we_o a_o little_a change_n of_o satisfaction_n as_o sometime_o it_o may_v be_v plain_a deal_n give_v the_o mind_n best_o like_v in_o our_o sin_n sometime_o equivocate_a and_o delude_a excuse_n sometime_o the_o matter_n be_v best_a of_o all_o to_o be_v qualify_v with_o a_o crafty_a involve_v of_o other_o help_v in_o the_o act_n sometime_o again_o a_o sole_a and_o absolute_a secrecy_n of_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v more_o grateful_a to_o our_o conscience_n every_o way_n and_o however_o it_o be_v effect_v we_o feel_v ourselves_o in_o sin_n just_a as_o in_o the_o condition_n of_o sick_a man_n he_o that_o be_v much_o sick_a be_v not_o in_o so_o much_o ease_n as_o to_o lie_v always_o on_o one_o side_n though_o his_o bed_n be_v never_o so_o soft_a so_o sin_n like_o the_o sick_a man_n bed_n have_v not_o so_o much_o pleasure_n in_o it_o as_o to_o give_v we_o any_o long_a content_n he_o turn_v from_o side_n to_o side_n to_o find_v rest_n and_o find_v none_o so_o long_o as_o he_o be_v sick_a so_o we_o unhappy_a sinner_n wallow_v to_o and_o fro_o in_o our_o sin_n without_o rest_n we_o be_v unstable_a in_o all_o our_o way_n there_o be_v no_o delight_n no_o rest_n be_v to_o be_v find_v whilst_o sin_n in_o we_o so_o strong_o do_v abound_v i_o say_v we_o can_v find_v no_o pleasure_n no_o full_a satisfactory_a oâ—_n long_o content_a in_o pleasure_n as_o long_o as_o we_o thus_o turn_v out_o of_o sin_n into_o sin_n out_o of_o one_o bad_a course_n into_o another_o unless_o that_o we_o quite_o turn_v out_o of_o sin_n unto_o god_n but_o woe_n be_v we_o hic_fw-la labour_n hoc_fw-la opus_fw-la est_fw-la here_o lie_v all_o the_o difficulty_n this_o be_v the_o main_a matter_n of_o all_o the_o flatter_a subtlety_n thereof_o have_v as_o i_o say_v for_o long_o ago_o as_o dalilah_n beguile_v samson_n so_o whole_o rob_v and_o beguile_v our_o soul_n of_o all_o their_o strength_n and_o courage_n to_o true_a repentance_n that_o we_o be_v much_o too_o weak_a to_o break_v off_o from_o we_o those_o fetter_n bond_n and_o
manacle_n of_o unrighteousness_n which_o do_v so_o strong_o tie_v we_o unto_o unhappiness_n a_o misery_n certain_o full_a of_o all_o misery_n to_o be_v so_o far_o involve_v therein_o that_o we_o can_v see_v no_o probability_n to_o get_v out_o and_o yet_o lo_o this_o be_v not_o the_o utmost_a it_o do_v not_o rest_v here_o we_o must_v yet_o â—urther_o entertain_v a_o great_a unhappiness_n for_o now_o behold_v a_o far_o more_o grievous_a and_o worse_a thing_n for_o the_o present_a hereby_o happen_v unto_o we_o god_n judgement_n the_o usual_a consequence_n of_o continuance_n in_o fin_n prepare_v after_o so_o long_a forbearance_n to_o lay_v siege_n unto_o our_o conscience_n and_o the_o messenger_n of_o satan_n like_o a_o trumpeter_n be_v send_v in_o to_o summon_v we_o beforehand_o for_o behold_v hideous_a and_o dismay_v thought_n begin_v to_o slip_v into_o our_o mind_n exceed_o to_o terrify_v and_o strike_v through_o our_o unhappy_a soul_n the_o strangeness_n of_o which_o many_o time_n at_o the_o first_o come_v of_o it_o do_v so_o ghastly_a affright_n and_o startle_v we_o that_o our_o heart_n be_v ready_a to_o faint_v and_o swoon_v with_o the_o terror_n thereof_o and_o this_o this_o i_o say_v for_o the_o present_a out_o of_o our_o unadvisâ—dnesse_n and_o ignorance_n of_o the_o right_a understanding_n hereof_o common_o become_v a_o great_a snare_n to_o we_o to_o keep_v we_o off_o from_o repentance_n than_o all_o our_o former_a sin_n and_o distemper_n beside_o for_o when_o perchance_o we_o endeavour_v to_o settle_v our_o thought_n upon_o humiliation_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o take_v upon_o we_o the_o examination_n of_o our_o wicked_a and_o sinful_a life_n as_o lift_v up_o our_o thought_n into_o this_o meditation_n oh_o how_o the_o time_n pass_v away_o the_o daily-consuming_a torch_n of_o our_o life_n burn_v out_o apace_o and_o shall_v we_o continue_v still_o in_o this_o desolate_a and_o deplore_a condition_n without_o due_a repentance_n and_o reconciliation_n with_o god_n how_o far_o be_v be_v we_o from_o that_o glorious_a comfort_n and_o most_o happy_a state_n we_o use_v to_o enjoy_v in_o the_o time_n of_o grace_n etc._n etc._n where_o i_o say_v when_o that_o with_o serious_a sigh_n we_o in_o this_o sort_n do_v our_o own_o self_n into_o ourselves_o retort_v prepare_v ourselves_o for_o repentance_n and_o strive_v to_o humble_v our_o soul_n before_o god_n then_o forthwith_o do_v these_o hideous_a and_o dismay_v thought_n or_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o utter_o discourage_v and_o dishearten_v we_o that_o we_o be_v fain_o to_o leave_v off_o again_o so_o soon_o as_o we_o have_v begin_v for_o whenas_o our_o thought_n shall_v be_v fill_v with_o humility_n and_o dejection_n for_o our_o sin_n then_o be_v they_o ready_a to_o swarm_v with_o nothing_o but_o vile_a and_o monstrous_a imagination_n better_o therefore_o do_v we_o judge_v it_o for_o the_o most_o part_n whilst_o that_o we_o be_v new_o acquaint_v herewith_o to_o let_v all_o alone_a then_o by_o that_o mean_n as_o we_o suppose_v to_o procure_v god_n great_a wrath_n and_o indignation_n upon_o we_o beside_o thus_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o conjecture_v with_o ourselves_o what_o hope_v or_o likelihood_n be_v there_o for_o we_o to_o obtain_v the_o favour_n of_o that_o god_n from_o who_o we_o be_v so_o dangerous_o separate_v and_o who_o again_o we_o be_v with_o such_o impiety_n of_o mind_n ready_a to_o dishonour_v and_o so_o be_v we_o beat_v off_o from_o our_o poor_a and_o weak_a endeavour_n not_o dare_v to_o approach_v his_o glorious_a name_n with_o thought_n that_o speak_v nothing_o but_o fear_n and_o shame_n well_o these_o hideous_a glance_n do_v perchance_o ever_o and_o anon_o slip_v into_o the_o imagination_n and_o be_v very_o terrible_a and_o tedious_a unto_o we_o but_o many_o time_n it_o fall_v out_o for_o a_o while_n until_o we_o either_o better_o understand_v ourselves_o herein_o or_o that_o god_n show_v forth_o his_o power_n more_o strong_o in_o we_o i_o say_v it_o fall_v out_o many_o time_n that_o the_o earnest_a employment_n of_o our_o mind_n in_o the_o fear_n care_n and_o desire_n of_o other_o thing_n do_v not_o suffer_v we_o so_o serious_o to_o tend_v for_o they_o or_o else_o do_v put_v they_o out_o of_o remembrance_n again_o notwithstanding_o ever_o and_o anon_o they_o do_v come_v into_o our_o head_n to_o disturb_v and_o terrify_v we_o most_o wonderful_o but_o special_o it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o if_o at_o any_o time_n we_o go_v about_o to_o read_v or_o set_v ourselves_o diligent_o upon_o the_o work_n of_o repentance_n then_o sure_o they_o be_v abundant_o present_a with_o we_o and_o because_o they_o be_v so_o terrible_a that_o we_o can_v abide_v they_o we_o must_v therefore_o needs_o leave_v off_o whatsoever_o we_o have_v take_v in_o hand_n and_o this_o we_o may_v conceive_v to_o be_v a_o special_a policy_n of_o the_o devil_n to_o have_v they_o chief_o propose_v to_o our_o fancy_n at_o such_o time_n to_o the_o end_n if_o it_o can_v be_v so_o there_o may_v be_v no_o time_n for_o we_o to_o repent_v in_o for_o now_o methinks_v at_o length_n through_o a_o due_a self-consideration_n and_o these_o manifold_a check_v trouble_n and_o inconvenience_n which_o so_o disturb_v we_o that_o we_o can_v tell_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v for_o they_o doubtless_o i_o say_v we_o have_v great_a longing_n to_o be_v reconcile_v unto_o god_n and_o we_o will_v very_o fain_o repent_v put_v our_o strength_n real_o to_o it_o do_v not_o now_o these_o scar_n crow_n stand_v in_o the_o way_n to_o affright_v we_o and_o now_o in_o this_o though_o not_o otherwise_o we_o can_v true_o repent_v that_o we_o do_v not_o repent_v heretofore_o that_o we_o have_v not_o draw_v near_o unto_o the_o lord_n whilst_o he_o may_v be_v find_v since_o that_o in_o those_o great_a water-flood_n this_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n we_o can_v come_v nigh_o unto_o he_o for_o most_o deserve_o we_o that_o have_v continue_v so_o long_o in_o our_o sin_n for_o our_o own_o pleasure_n to_o content_v ourselves_o must_v yet_o continue_v a_o while_n long_o to_o content_a god_n justice_n as_o yet_o then_o for_o all_o this_o though_o the_o axe_n be_v as_o it_o be_v lay_v to_o the_o root_n of_o the_o tree_n god_n judgement_n and_o vengeance_n to_o our_o evil_a conscience_n yet_o we_o can_v leave_v off_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o our_o soul_n our_o oppress_a policy_n the_o vanity_n of_o our_o mind_n the_o excuse_v our_o sin_n the_o swell_a and_o self-conceited_a folly_n of_o our_o heart_n and_o the_o like_a it_o be_v to_o be_v observe_v that_o according_a to_o the_o method_n in_o this_o book_n before_o premise_a most_o of_o we_o man_n have_v some_o one_o part_n or_o space_n of_o our_o life_n be_v it_o four_o or_o five_o year_n or_o whatsoever_o wherein_o sin_n have_v more_o full_a power_n over_o we_o and_o perhaps_o do_v thus_o prevail_v in_o we_o with_o a_o high_a hand_n and_o settle_a course_n and_o this_o time_n above_o all_o the_o rest_n be_v the_o time_n of_o sin_n as_o be_v so_o proper_o dispose_v for_o it_o that_o during_o the_o continuance_n thereof_o we_o can_v never_o attain_v unto_o true_a repentance_n for_o though_o that_o we_o may_v sometime_o superficial_o fallow_a up_o our_o soul_n with_o the_o sollow_a of_o humiliation_n yet_o do_v we_o not_o so_o thorough_o plough_v they_o up_o as_o to_o fit_v they_o for_o the_o due_a receive_n of_o that_o good_a seed_n which_o be_v able_a to_o fructify_v into_o newness_n of_o life_n sure_o this_o be_v not_o a_o easy_a thing_n a_o perfect_a sinner_n do_v not_o change_v his_o hue_n so_o quick_o turn_v his_o old_a life_n to_o new_a though_o we_o may_v peradventure_o many_o time_n outward_o scan_v over_o the_o duty_n of_o repentance_n yet_o do_v we_o not_o during_o this_o time_n so_o perfect_o repent_v as_o thereby_o to_o get_v a_o full_a release_n from_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n or_o such_o a_o comfortable_a and_o a_o discharge_n acquittance_n to_o our_o conscience_n as_o we_o ought_v to_o have_v and_o which_o make_v we_o cheerful_a and_o free_a powerful_o to_o resolve_v and_o set_v on_o towards_o amendment_n of_o life_n well_o to_o the_o matter_n i_o say_v what_o by_o one_o mean_n or_o other_o we_o be_v yet_o still_o scare_v off_o from_o the_o main_a hope_n and_o help_v of_o our_o soul_n the_o comfort_n of_o reconciliation_n so_o great_a be_v our_o sinful_a folly_n and_o unability_n unto_o good_a but_o this_o all_o this_o be_v but_o for_o a_o taste_n of_o inward_a trouble_n see_v what_o follow_v the_o hand_n of_o the_o almighty_a do_v not_o leave_v we_o so_o if_o a_o man_n will_v not_o turn_v say_v david_n psal_n 7_o god_n will_v whet_v his_o sword_n he_o have_v bend_v his_o bow_n and_o make_v it_o ready_a hitherto_o there_o be_v no_o turn_n with_o we_o nothing_o be_v able_a to_o
intolerable_a thing_n within_o he_o as_o also_o sometime_o we_o shall_v think_v thus_o that_o if_o other_o man_n do_v but_o know_v what_o vile_a imagination_n what_o monstrous_a indignity_n there_o be_v in_o our_o head_n they_o will_v sure_o be_v ready_a to_o kill_v we_o out_o of_o zeal_n to_o piety_n and_o revenge_n to_o god_n glory_n as_o not_o fit_a to_o live_v on_o earth_n who_o be_v in_o truth_n full_a of_o nothing_o but_o hell_n many_o time_n perhaps_o be_v our_o thought_n of_o such_o high_a and_o immediate_a impiety_n that_o we_o very_o look_v for_o one_o fearful_a judgement_n or_o other_o present_o to_o confound_v we_o and_o do_v even_o quake_v and_o crouch_v down_o as_o though_o some_o fierce_a thunderbolt_n of_o vengeance_n be_v already_o fall_v from_o heaven_n upon_o we_o these_o thought_n they_o be_v not_o all_o of_o they_o evil_a in_o the_o same_o degree_n some_o it_o may_v be_v be_v far_o worse_o than_o some_o as_o also_o they_o be_v not_o all_o of_o the_o same_o nature_n for_o the_o diverfity_n of_o every_o one_o constitution_n and_o the_o diversity_n or_o several_a kind_n of_o sin_n to_o which_o we_o be_v most_o addict_v do_v perchance_o much_o vary_v the_o nature_n of_o they_o yet_o most_o of_o they_o in_o the_o same_o particular_a party_n special_o at_o the_o first_o do_v ever_o point_v to_o one_o kind_n of_o end_n and_o effect_n in_o a_o while_n the_o much_o prevail_a strength_n of_o these_o thought_n have_v such_o a_o terrify_a power_n in_o we_o that_o even_o but_o one_o of_o they_o be_v sufficient_a to_o strike_v a_o heart-breaking_a passion_n of_o so_o great_a a_o tremble_a and_o distemper_n into_o we_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v whole_o out_o of_o it_o again_o for_o a_o whole_a day_n after_o be_v usual_o in_o the_o mean_a space_n revolve_v in_o our_o mind_n the_o heynousnesse_n thereof_o or_o buâ—ying_v our_o fancy_n with_o orhe_a trifle_a conceit_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n so_o that_o our_o mind_n be_v never_o no_o never_o free_a from_o some_o one_o cogitation_n or_o other_o which_o concern_v this_o our_o trouble_n at_o our_o first_o entrâ—_n into_o this_o sad_a case_n before_o we_o be_v full_o possess_v with_o the_o course_n and_o quality_n thereof_o we_o shall_v be_v apt_a thus_o to_o consider_v and_o revolve_v within_o ourselves_o o_o lord_n how_o shall_v we_o do_v to_o recogitate_v and_o examine_v over_o again_o in_o repentance_n these_o unhappy_a thought_n when_o as_o the_o very_o remote_a glimpse_n of_o they_o in_o our_o fancy_n be_v so_o too_o much_o terrible_a unto_o we_o for_o we_o do_v feel_v ourselves_o seldom_o lively_a and_o perfect_o to_o repent_v we_o of_o our_o sin_n but_o that_o in_o very_a act_n of_o repentance_n those_o thing_n which_o do_v most_o go_v against_o our_o conscience_n do_v reappear_a unto_o we_o afresh_o and_o that_o we_o do_v as_o it_o be_v real_o see_v the_o enormity_n of_o they_o i_o say_v we_o shall_v thus_o perhaps_o hoe_v and_o be_v solicitous_a how_o to_o repent_v for_o though_o we_o may_v and_o do_v now_o repent_v in_o the_o habit_n and_o intention_n of_o repentance_n i_o mean_v in_o the_o reality_n and_o sense_n of_o it_o yet_o peradventure_o we_o can_v in_o a_o right_n and_o due_o perform_v act_n thereof_o habitual_o by_o turn_v fâ—om_o our_o evil_a course_n but_o not_o actual_o by_o put_v in_o practice_n that_o lively_a action_n of_o the_o mind_n which_o be_v ordinary_o requisite_a and_o belong_v thereunto_o i_o say_v for_o all_o that_o our_o heart_n be_v as_o it_o be_v break_v in_o piece_n with_o these_o heavy_a trouble_n yet_o we_o can_v enjoy_v so_o feel_v a_o remorse_n in_o our_o soul_n or_o so_o kind_o dissolve_v ourselves_o into_o a_o serious_a and_o right_a humiliation_n as_o we_o desire_v and_o as_o we_o ought_v to_o do_v though_o as_o it_o seem_v to_o our_o poor_a unhappy_a soul_n the_o lord_n have_v charge_v we_o with_o so_o great_a a_o curse_n that_o mortal_a flesb_n can_v sustain_v a_o worse_a though_o i_o saâ—_n we_o be_v so_o divell-like_a and_o hellish_o untoward_a in_o ourselves_o and_o though_o we_o true_o know_v and_o do_v well_o consider_v this_o our_o woeful_a condition_n yet_o can_v we_o not_o perchance_o through_o this_o great_a distemper_n of_o fancy_n can_v we_o not_o as_o i_o say_v perform_v that_o action_n of_o mind_n which_o fit_o belong_v thereunto_o be_v hold_v in_o such_o a_o strong_a incongruity_n unto_o the_o natural_a use_n of_o all_o inward_a duty_n that_o there_o yet_o appear_v in_o we_o i_o think_v no_o due_a readiness_n of_o heart_n to_o a_o bleed_a and_o true_o conscientious_a sorrow_n now_o therefore_o in_o this_o most_o evil_a case_n lest_o that_o we_o shall_v go_v down_o quick_a into_o hell_n and_o be_v swallow_v up_o with_o this_o sudden_a destruction_n we_o do_v mighty_o labour_v to_o set_v out_o all_o the_o power_n and_o strength_n that_o we_o have_v in_o strive_v to_o deject_v and_o bring_v down_o our_o outward_a soul_n to_o a_o due_a and_o more_o applyable_a sorrow_n for_o our_o sin_n for_o you_o must_v understand_v that_o the_o strongnesse_n and_o violence_n hereof_o a_o pretty_a while_n upon_o its_o first_o come_n do_v amaze_v and_o so_o much_o take_v up_o our_o thought_n with_o disturb_a terror_n and_o admiration_n that_o we_o can_v present_o apply_v ourselves_o with_o good_a and_o exact_o go_v over_o each_o particular_a of_o repentance_n to_o the_o full_a now_o then_o as_o much_o as_o it_o be_v possible_a i_o say_v to_o the_o utmost_a do_v we_o set_v ourselves_o this_o way_n to_o turn_v a_o new_a leaf_n to_o change_v the_o whole_a frame_n and_o course_n of_o our_o inner_a man_n for_o lo_o o_o lord_n there_o be_v no_o rest_n unto_o our_o soul_n by_o reason_n of_o this_o thy_o wrath_n neither_o be_v there_o yet_o any_o ease_n at_o all_o to_o our_o conscience_n by_o reason_n of_o our_o sin_n first_o then_o to_o begin_v the_o former_a policy_n delight_n and_o habit_n of_o our_o mind_n which_o we_o do_v heretofore_o serious_o embrace_v applaud_v and_o approve_v be_v now_o become_v hateful_a and_o odious_a unto_o we_o we_o can_v abide_v so_o much_o as_o the_o very_a thought_n thereof_o and_o lo_o the_o whole_a aim_n of_o our_o intention_n and_o purpose_n be_v only_o set_v to_o a_o particular_a and_o punctual_a recounting_a of_o all_o our_o sin_n past_a although_o the_o heynousâ—esse_n and_o multitude_n of_o they_o for_o want_v of_o due_a repentance_n so_o long_o be_v perchance_o grow_v to_o that_o pass_n that_o it_o be_v most_o irksome_a to_o we_o our_o heart_n even_o faint_a thereat_o and_o be_v very_o loath_a even_o as_o loath_a to_o meddle_v thorough_o with_o this_o scrutiny_n and_o to_o search_v it_o to_o the_o purpose_n as_o the_o grleved_a party_n be_v loath_a to_o open_v the_o plaster_n from_o his_o tender_a sore_n the_o cling_v whereof_o he_o know_v will_v tear_v away_o the_o very_a skin_n from_o the_o flesh_n so_o hard_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o to_o divorce_n sin_n that_o be_v roâ—ted_v with_o a_o constant_a course_n so_o difficult_a be_v the_o due_a order_n purge_v and_o examine_v of_o a_o conscience_n that_o be_v much_o overgrow_v with_o sin_n we_o do_v now_o as_o i_o say_v set_v ourselves_o to_o a_o particular_a re-capitulation_a of_o all_o our_o sin_n that_o so_o we_o may_v full_o try_v out_o and_o remove_v the_o cause_n of_o this_o our_o misâ—ry_n and_o therefore_o as_o it_o be_v stop_v our_o ear_n and_o apprehension_n as_o much_o as_o possible_a from_o the_o noise_n and_o disturbance_n of_o all_o other_o thing_n we_o do_v altogether_o dive_v our_o thought_n into_o a_o most_o deep_a and_o distinct_a consideration_n and_o remembrance_n of_o all_o our_o former_a iniquity_n whereupon_o there_o may_v and_o doubtless_o will_v at_o one_o time_n or_o other_o occur_v unto_o our_o memory_n all_o even_o all_o i_o say_v and_o almost_o every_o one_o of_o the_o great_a sin_n of_o our_o whole_a life_n with_o their_o particular_a circumstance_n and_o manner_n of_o commit_v thus_o here_o deep_a melancholy_n without_o noise_n present_v of_o each_o our_o sin_n the_o sad_a and_o true_a content_n and_o then_o she_o sit_v with_o that_o accuse_a scroll_n to_o pass_v her_o judgement_n on_o the_o guilty_a soul_n judge_v deem_v and_o conclude_v sometime_o one_o to_o be_v the_o great_a of_o the_o sin_n sometime_o another_o sometime_o this_o to_o be_v the_o chief_a cause_n of_o our_o misery_n sometime_o that_o sometime_o neither_o this_o nor_o that_o in_o particular_a but_o in_o general_a the_o sinful_a course_n of_o our_o whole_a time_n but_o all_o this_o while_n ever_o now_o and_o then_o shall_v we_o be_v think_v with_o ourselves_o sure_a our_o case_n be_v so_o dangerous_a that_o never_o any_o soul_n be_v in_o the_o like_o sad_a condition_n sure_o our_o case_n be_v so_o incurable_o bad_a we_o can_v conceive_v
how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o we_o to_o come_v into_o god_n favour_n any_o more_o our_o wound_n of_o conscience_n be_v see_v deep_a it_o be_v sure_a so_o deep_a i_o think_v that_o it_o be_v pass_v all_o cure_n thus_o we_o hang_v in_o suspense_n betwixt_o hope_n and_o fear_n lest_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o we_o to_o be_v save_v and_o then_o snall_a we_o be_v very_o earnest_a and_o diligent_a to_o search_v out_o after_o such_o book_n if_o we_o can_v read_v which_o handle_n matter_n of_o conscience_n and_o to_o peruse_v they_o as_o perchance_o master_n greenbam_n master_n perkins_n master_n bolton_n and_o the_o like_a to_o see_v whether_o we_o can_v find_v any_o likelihood_n that_o ever_o any_o have_v be_v in_o the_o like_o wretched_a state_n before_o we_o or_o affect_v with_o such_o trouble_n and_o distraction_n in_o the_o same_o nature_n and_o when_o perchance_o we_o do_v find_v but_o little_a or_o nothing_o whereby_o to_o conjecture_v that_o other_o former_o have_v be_v in_o such_o a_o case_n then_o very_o i_o think_v there_o be_v no_o hope_n for_o we_o no_o body_n be_v ever_o in_o such_o a_o desperate_a danger_n and_o therefore_o we_o must_v needs_o be_v damn_v but_o if_o peradventure_o we_o read_v or_o hear_v of_o any_o that_o have_v be_v somewhat_o near_o alike_o affect_v as_o we_o be_v who_o inward_a trouble_n do_v resemble_v the_o manner_n and_o fashion_n of_o we_o it_o do_v revive_v we_o with_o a_o little_a comfort_n and_o satisfaction_n that_o only_o do_v give_v we_o most_o ease_n of_o any_o thing_n that_o and_o nothing_o but_o that_o do_v afford_v some_o refresh_n to_o our_o weary_a and_o distress_a soul_n well_o have_v as_o i_o say_v before_o bring_v up_o our_o sin_n out_o of_o the_o abyss_n of_o long_a oblivion_n and_o as_o enders_n witch_n do_v samuel_n person_n or_o personate_a ghost_n so_o have_v raise_v up_o the_o true_a representation_n of_o these_o ugly_a ghost_n to_o our_o sad_a remembrance_n we_o labour_v by_o grieve_v and_o sigh_v for_o perhaps_o we_o can_v hardly_o weep_v at_o first_o though_o we_o do_v much_o force_v ourselves_o to_o it_o i_o say_v by_o sigh_v by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o bring_v our_o misshapen_a and_o untoward_o distemper_a soul_n to_o apply_v and_o conform_v to_o some_o lively_a penance_n and_o sensible_a remorse_n for_o our_o wretchedness_n we_o do_v now_o suffer_v no_o difficulty_n to_o withdraw_v we_o from_o this_o necessary_a work_n of_o dejection_n but_o do_v keep_v ourselves_o at_o school_n to_o it_o by_o force_n for_o though_o we_o do_v grieve_v and_o sorrow_n not_o a_o little_a for_o our_o sin_n yet_o still_o be_v in_o this_o case_n as_o we_o be_v it_o seem_v to_o we_o not_o enough_o it_o pierce_v not_o to_o the_o depth_n of_o our_o offence_n we_o must_v yet_o do_v penance_n in_o further_a humiliation_n this_o then_o compulsive_a and_o violent_a urge_v ourselves_o to_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n together_o with_o the_o trouble_a thought_n of_o our_o mind_n and_o conscience_n in_o a_o while_n breed_v in_o we_o perchance_o a_o constant_a custom_n and_o habit_n of_o sigh_v so_o that_o we_o shall_v often_o ever_o and_o anon_o interrupt_v our_o breath_n with_o sigh_n when_o we_o be_v altogether_o so_o untoward_a and_o out_o of_o all_o order_n in_o our_o mind_n that_o we_o can_v do_v nothing_o else_o nor_o pray_v nor_o read_v nor_o consider_v nor_o meditate_v as_o we_o shall_v then_o shall_v we_o force_v ourselves_o to_o sigh_v this_o we_o can_v do_v and_o this_o perchance_o be_v all_o that_o we_o can_v do_v and_o this_o with_o the_o continue_a use_n thereof_o do_v at_o length_n so_o spend_v our_o spirit_n and_o dry_v up_o the_o natural_a moisture_n of_o our_o body_n that_o it_o make_v our_o countenance_n for_o the_o most_o part_n look_v with_o a_o very_a pale_a and_o sorrowful_a dejection_n according_a to_o what_o solomon_n say_v a_o merry_a heart_n make_v a_o theerfull_a countenance_n so_o our_o sorry_a heart_n make_v we_o a_o sad_a countenance_n our_o beauty_n be_v quite_o go_v for_o very_a trouble_n and_o wear_v away_o because_o of_o all_o our_o iniquity_n and_o though_o for_o all_o we_o be_v thus_o unreasonable_o torture_v with_o these_o close_a fret_a trouble_n and_o such_o continual_a anguish_n of_o mind_n yet_o a_o good_a while_n upon_o the_o first_o beginning_n of_o our_o trouble_n it_o be_v the_o nature_n of_o we_o all_o to_o strive_v howsoever_o to_o keep_v it_o as_o much_o as_o may_v be_v very_o secret_a and_o private_a unto_o ourselves_o for_o that_o we_o be_v ashamed_a and_o loath_a that_o any_o shall_v be_v acquaint_v with_o what_o a_o unhappy_a case_n we_o be_v in_o but_o we_o shall_v usual_o with_o the_o grief_n thereof_o go_v about_o so_o solicitary_o so_o moopish_a and_o look_v so_o ill_o and_o perchance_o starvinglâ—_n too_o as_o if_o we_o be_v drunken_a or_o distract_a that_o our_o friend_n can_v but_o observe_v the_o unwonted_a state_n and_o behaviour_n of_o we_o each_o one_o may_v read_v the_o story_n of_o our_o case_n in_o the_o sad_a token_n of_o a_o silent_a face_n such_o earnest_a trouble_n and_o intention_n of_o hannab_n mind_n make_v old_a ely_n take_v notice_n of_o she_o as_o if_o she_o have_v be_v drunken_a who_o answer_v no_o my_o lord_n i_o be_o a_o woman_n of_o a_o sorrowful_a spirit_n and_o though_o perchance_o for_o a_o while_o we_o shall_v be_v loath_a to_o give_v such_o a_o answer_n and_o tell_v the_o truth_n to_o our_o friend_n or_o other_o who_o be_v ready_a to_o demand_v what_o the_o matter_n be_v with_o we_o why_o we_o look_v or_o sigh_v so_o what_o do_v aâ—le_v we_o and_o the_o like_a yet_o in_o time_n this_o grief_n be_v so_o intolerable_a that_o it_o must_v needs_o have_v its_o vent_n for_o strangulat_fw-la inclusus_fw-la dolour_n any_o grief_n by_o its_o keep_n close_o do_v rage_n the_o worse_o god_n heavy_a hand_n be_v so_o strong_a upon_o we_o there_o be_v no_o conceal_n of_o it_o long_o the_o weary_a and_o restless_a condition_n we_o be_v in_o make_v we_o in_o the_o end_n not_o to_o care_v who_o know_v it_o or_o to_o who_o it_o be_v tell_v so_o that_o we_o may_v but_o find_v any_o help_n or_o ease_v thereof_o for_o perhaps_o we_o be_v so_o exceed_o tire_v out_o with_o this_o trouble_n that_o there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o the_o least_o rest_n or_o intermission_n at_o all_o unto_o our_o mind_n neither_o day_n nor_o night_n whilst_o we_o awake_v we_o think_v out_o whilst_o we_o sleep_v we_o dream_v out_o and_o we_o be_v interrupt_v with_o tumbling_n and_o toss_n even_o all_o the_o night_n long_o the_o mind_n never_o cease_v from_o its_o trouble_n when_o we_o be_v in_o company_n let_v there_o be_v what_o business_n or_o discourse_n soever_o in_o hand_n we_o be_v amoâ—ost_v they_o as_o those_o that_o be_v quite_o stun_v and_o amaze_v in_o our_o sense_n no_o otherwise_o affect_v then_o if_o we_o do_v neither_o see_v nor_o hear_v they_o our_o mind_n be_v always_o work_v and_o muse_v upon_o its_o inward_a grief_n and_o when_o we_o be_v private_a by_o ourselves_o either_o what_o through_o the_o agony_n of_o evil_a and_o torment_a thought_n and_o what_o with_o plod_v on_o the_o heynousnesse_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o general_a course_n of_o our_o life_n or_o by_o be_v terrify_v and_o dismay_v with_o certain_a difficult_a text_n and_o passage_n of_o scripture_n our_o mind_n and_o conscience_n be_v in_o a_o constant_a agitation_n at_o no_o rest_n lo_o there_o be_v a_o fin_n that_o to_o the_o heart_n do_v wound_n and_o here_o be_v a_o thought_n that_o strike_v we_o to_o the_o ground_n with_o sâ—â—ouning_a fear_n and_o then_o a_o text_n again_o bury_v that_o soul_n which_o those_o before_o bad_a sluin_n i_o say_v when_o we_o be_v in_o private_a and_o so_o forth_o for_o our_o desolate_a and_o sorsaken_a soul_n delight_v as_o david_n do_v in_o the_o 102._o psalm_n to_o sit_v alone_o by_o herself_o like_o a_o owl_n that_o be_v in_o the_o desert_n or_o like_o a_o sparrow_n upon_o the_o house_n top_n thus_o be_v alone_o toil_v in_o misery_n and_o snarld_v in_o perplexity_n that_o we_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v we_o shall_v kneel_v down_o in_o our_o chamber_n or_o elsewhere_o and_o by_o urge_v ourselves_o to_o tear_n in_o a_o while_n gush_v out_o a_o bundant_o in_o our_o prayer_n for_o though_o it_o be_v difficult_a for_o a_o full_a grow_v and_o middle_a age_n to_o dissolve_v their_o grief_n into_o tear_n yet_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o it_o be_v usual_a and_o then_o most_o of_o we_o when_o once_o we_o do_v thus_o bring_v ourselves_o into_o a_o use_n and_o custom_n of_o weep_v we_o do_v seldom_o pray_v at_o any_o time_n without_o tear_n desire_v to_o weep_v often_o and_o often_o in_o private_a when_o we_o can_v pray_v as_o we_o will_v for_o
how_o many_o and_o how_o many_o time_n be_v it_o that_o we_o do_v pray_v god_n know_v with_o poor_a relish_n and_o devotion_n of_o mind_n force_v ourselves_o to_o pray_v when_o we_o can_v pray_v repeat_v the_o word_n when_o we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o case_n and_o so_o out_o of_o order_n in_o ourselves_o that_o we_o have_v no_o heart_n or_o affection_n of_o prayer_n i_o say_v no_o heart_n for_o obserne_v hinc_fw-la illae_fw-la lachrimae_fw-la it_o be_v the_o deadness_n and_o want_n of_o a_o heart_n that_o be_v our_o great_a unhappiness_n in_o all_o our_o distress_n and_o therefore_o good_a david_n so_o earnest_o cry_v out_o for_o a_o heart_n create_v in_o i_o a_o clean_a hâ—aâ—t_n o_o god_n o_o turn_v my_o stony_a heart_n into_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n etc._n etc._n to_o go_v on_o there_o be_v most_o time_n suck_v a_o untowardlinesse_n in_o our_o heart_n and_o affection_n unto_o prayer_n that_o our_o distemper_a thought_n by_o mean_n thereof_o be_v ready_a to_o turn_v every_o thing_n to_o a_o quite_o contrary_a sense_n to_o a_o vain_a perchance_o or_o ill_a conceit_n so_o that_o when_o we_o shall_v be_v most_o reverent_o serious_a in_o our_o devotion_n then_o do_v the_o twhart_a glonce_n of_o our_o fancy_n make_v as_o it_o be_v a_o foolery_n of_o it_o and_o this_o will_v make_v we_o exceed_o to_o sigh_v and_o cry_v for_o discontent_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v so_o vain_a untoward_a and_o out_o of_o all_o order_n think_v lord_n what_o shall_v we_o do_v we_o can_v help_v it_o though_o we_o be_v thus_o never_o so_o untoward_a we_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o avoid_v it_o and_o these_o word_n perchance_o we_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v lord_n we_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v in_o our_o great_a plunge_n of_o distress_n will_v be_v a_o usual_a expression_n with_o we_o lord_n hear_v our_o groan_n we_o wot_v not_o what_o to_o say_v we_o pray_v and_o yet_o alas_o we_o can_v pray_v of_o ourselves_o we_o be_v not_o able_a sufficient_o to_o think_v or_o comprehend_v in_o how_o bad_a a_o condition_n we_o be_v thou_o only_o that_o true_o know_v our_o misery_n be_v merciful_a unto_o we_o according_a to_o thy_o great_a mercy_n when_o we_o be_v solitary_a and_o melancholy_a private_a muse_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o our_o miserable_a condition_n there_o do_v often_o such_o quame_n of_o terror_n come_v over_o our_o mind_n and_o conscience_n with_o such_o fainty_a fit_n of_o despair_n that_o we_o be_v even_o as_o heart_n sick_a for_o the_o time_n with_o they_o the_o cogitation_n of_o divers_a thing_n reflect_v upon_o our_o conscience_n make_v our_o droop_a spirit_n many_o a_o time_n even_o ready_a to_o forsake_v the_o body_n and_o give_v it_o its_o last_o farewell_n sometime_o that_o text_n of_o the_o hebrew_n which_o say_v that_o those_o who_o after_o they_o have_v taste_v of_o the_o heavenly_a gift_n and_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v if_o they_o fall_v away_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o renew_v they_o to_o repentance_n this_o word_n impossible_a be_v a_o hard_a say_n and_o do_v wonderful_o dismay_v we_o sometime_o that_o unpardonable_a sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o shall_v never_o be_v forgive_v neither_o in_o this_o world_n nor_o in_o the_o world_n to_o come_v do_v strike_v we_o even_o as_o dead_a without_o hope_n of_o recovery_n for_o let_v that_o sin_n be_v what_o it_o will_v be_v either_o this_o or_o that_o as_o perhaps_o we_o have_v read_v and_o learn_v out_o divers_a opinion_n of_o it_o what_o it_o be_v sure_o we_o think_v the_o greathesse_n and_o heynousnesse_n of_o our_o sin_n must_v needs_o without_o question_n comprehend_v it_o nay_o if_o it_o be_v a_o sin_n of_o such_o and_o such_o a_o nature_n as_o some_o be_v of_o the_o opinion_n it_o be_v there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o doubt_n to_o be_v make_v but_o that_o we_o have_v evident_o and_o often_o commit_v it_o sometime_o that_o place_n of_o do_v despite_n to_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n do_v speak_v hard_o unto_o our_o conscience_n and_o sometime_o that_o where_o it_o be_v say_v of_o esau_n that_o he_o find_v no_o place_n for_o repentance_n though_o he_o seek_v it_o with_o tear_n sometime_o the_o dart_a thought_n which_o do_v so_o vehement_o terrify_v and_o distemper_v our_o mind_n make_v we_o tremble_v to_o think_v on_o that_o place_n in_o the_o apocalypse_n where_o the_o damn_a ouâ—_n of_o their_o rebellious_a nature_n be_v say_v to_o curse_v and_o blaspheme_v &c_n &c_n sometime_o shall_v we_o think_v on_o cain_n sin_n that_o it_o be_v no_o other_o than_o those_o sin_n be_v ourselves_o have_v commit_v even_o perchance_o in_o the_o fame_n kind_n of_o malicious_a and_o murder_a thought_n against_o our_o neighbour_n beside_o so_o many_o and_o so_o great_a sin_n of_o other_o nature_n for_o the_o which_o we_o be_v more_o worthy_a to_o be_v damn_v than_o he_o sometime_o the_o grievous_a punishment_n of_o the_o murmur_a israelite_n who_o be_v angry_a with_o god_n out_o of_o impatience_n do_v pass_v sentence_n upon_o we_o of_o the_o like_a judgement_n and_o condemnation_n sometime_o again_o the_o application_n of_o saul_n case_n will_v disquiet_v we_o the_o application_n of_o the_o house_n build_v upon_o the_o sand_n the_o application_n of_o he_o who_o last_o estate_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o first_o who_o be_v deliver_v from_o one_o devil_n there_o enter_v seven_o worse_a one_o afterward_o into_o he_o sometime_o we_o stick_v with_o great_a fear_n on_o predestination_n be_v not_o a_o little_a touch_v with_o the_o utter_a improbability_n of_o our_o be_v fore-ordained_n unto_o salvation_n who_o be_v altogether_o so_o wicked_a and_o untoward_a that_o god_n may_v as_o well_o and_o with_o as_o good_a reason_n to_o our_o judgement_n save_o the_o devil_n himself_o as_o we_o whatsoever_o we_o hear_v speak_v either_o in_o scripture_n or_o else_o how_o to_o the_o condemnation_n of_o the_o wicked_a do_v as_o justlv_n and_o fit_o i_o think_v come_v to_o our_o conscience_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v frame_v on_o purpose_n for_o we_o as_o also_o whatsoever_o be_v say_v to_o the_o commendation_n of_o the_o righteous_a do_v sound_a again_o even_o as_o punctual_o to_o our_o particular_a shame_n and_o confasion_z of_o face_n the_o say_n of_o st._n peter_n to_o simon_n the_o sorcerer_n do_v most_o right_o i_o think_v fit_v we_o be_v thus_o true_o in_o the_o gall_n of_o bitterness_n and_o in_o the_o bond_n of_o iniquity_n so_o hamper_v and_o snare_v in_o our_o sin_n and_o terror_n of_o conscience_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n can_v we_o get_v out_o of_o these_o fear_n and_o distraction_n what_o ere_o we_o do_v doubt_n do_v thereof_o arise_v what_o now_o we_o like_v anon_o we_o do_v despise_v as_o for_o example_n if_o we_o do_v give_v liberal_o to_o the_o poor_a intend_v to_o take_v daniel_n counsel_n in_o his_o four_o chapter_n that_o be_v to_o break_v off_o our_o iniquity_n by_o show_v mercy_n and_o so_o forth_o then_o sure_o it_o come_v into_o our_o mind_n that_o our_o action_n be_v but_o pharisaical_a or_o that_o we_o doâ—_n it_o without_o charity_n without_o which_o though_o we_o shall_v give_v away_o all_o our_o good_n it_o will_v as_o st._n paul_n say_v profit_v we_o nothing_o if_o we_o do_v not_o give_v liberal_o when_o as_o our_o ability_n can_v do_v it_o then_o be_v we_o just_a as_o churlish_a naball_n or_o as_o wicked_a dives_n again_o if_o we_o do_v let_v in_o the_o consideration_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o miserable_a estate_n so_o near_o and_o deep_o into_o our_o apprehension_n that_o we_o can_v endure_v it_o then_o sure_o we_o be_v like_o cain_n ready_a to_o cry_v out_o that_o our_o raisery_n be_v great_a than_o that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o bear_v if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n we_o endeavour_v to_o forget_v it_o and_o put_v it_o from_o our_o mind_n then_o do_v we_o seem_v like_o saul_n to_o drive_v away_o the_o evil_a spirit_n with_o david_n music_n if_o we_o do_v keep_v on_o our_o go_v to_o church_n and_o the_o like_a outward_a duty_n when_o as_o we_o seel_v no_o good_a motion_n within_o we_o correspondent_a thereunto_o but_o rather_o all_o untowardness_n than_o we_o be_v as_o hypocrite_n that_o make_v people_n to_o be_v mistake_v in_o we_o in_o account_v and_o deem_v we_o to_o be_v better_a theâ—_n we_o be_v to_o be_v something_o when_o as_o we_o be_v nothing_o if_o we_o do_v whole_o omit_v and_o neglect_v those_o duty_n as_o not_o to_o go_v to_o church_n and_o the_o like_a then_o be_v we_o profane_a atheist_n and_o not_o fit_a to_o live_v among_o christian_n such_o be_v the_o unconstant_a weakness_n and_o unquietness_n of_o our_o soul_n that_o thus_o as_o job_n in_o the_o seven_o chapter_n the_o four_o verse_n when_o we_o lie_v down_o we_o say_v when_o shall_v we_o arise_v and_o
the_o night_n be_v go_v and_o we_o be_v full_a of_o toss_n to_o and_o fro_o until_o the_o dawn_n of_o the_o day_n and_o with_o david_n in_o the_o 38._o psalm_n we_o may_v most_o true_o say_v that_o there_o be_v no_o soundness_n in_o our_o flesh_n by_o reason_n of_o thy_o wrath_n neither_o be_v there_o any_o rest_n unto_o our_o bone_n by_o reason_n of_o our_o sin_n for_o our_o iniquity_n be_v go_v over_o our_o bead_n and_o be_v a_o sore_a burden_n too_o bevy_n for_o we_o to_o bear_v a_o heavy_a burden_n too_o heavy_a as_o well_o for_o our_o enfeeble_a body_n as_o distemper_a soul_n the_o soul_n and_o body_n like_o two_o turtle_n dove_n do_v both_o in_o one_o affection_n syrapathize_v what_o move_v the_o one_o the_o other_o quick_o move_v each_o in_o the_o other_o love_v both_o life_n and_o die_v as_o the_o soul_n so_o i_o say_v the_o body_n sustain_v a_o heavy_a portion_n of_o this_o spiritual_a misery_n for_o we_o do_v here_o with_o in_o time_n usual_o grow_v so_o weak_a even_o true_o as_o they_o say_v so_o weak_a as_o water_n be_v what_o with_o grief_n and_o abstinence_n from_o ordinary_a food_n waste_v and_o pine_v away_o to_o nothing_o but_o skin_n and_o bone_n neither_o have_v our_o bone_n also_o any_o rest_n in_o they_o for_o they_o be_v ready_a to_o ache_v as_o we_o but_o lie_v in_o our_o bed_n and_o be_v exceed_o dry_v up_o like_o a_o potsherd_v such_o be_v the_o feeble_a weariness_n and_o laxation_n of_o our_o limb_n that_o kneel_v any_o whit_n long_o at_o prayer_n when_o we_o rise_v we_o shall_v be_v ready_a to_o fâ—ll_v backward_o so_o that_o as_o david_n in_o the_o 22._o psalm_n just_o so_o we_o be_v even_o pour_v out_o like_o water_n and_o all_o our_o bone_n be_v out_o of_o join_v if_o we_o sit_v a_o while_n more_o than_o ordinary_a such_o a_o benumb_a stiffness_n and_o deadness_n do_v seize_v upon_o we_o that_o we_o shall_v hardly_o perhaps_o be_v able_a without_o help_n to_o stand_v upright_o again_o thus_o be_v we_o grow_v old_a i_o say_v old_a with_o grief_n and_o be_v become_v as_o it_o be_v say_v like_o a_o dead_a man_n that_o be_v forget_v the_o continual_a sigh_v and_o anguish_n of_o mind_n seem_v to_o press_v and_o oppress_v our_o flomacke_n as_o if_o some_o heavy_a weight_n do_v lie_v hard_o upon_o it_o thy_o hand_n o_o lord_n press_v we_o so_o sore_o that_o it_o be_v uneasy_a for_o we_o to_o fetch_v our_o breath_n and_o lo_o it_o may_v be_v we_o be_v whole_o for_o many_o day_n together_o as_o in_o a_o constant_a fever_n of_o distemper_n i_o have_v know_v the_o water_n of_o such_o a_o distress_a soul_n only_o through_o this_o intolerable_a trouble_n of_o mind_n and_o conscience_n to_o look_v so_o ill_o that_o a_o wise_a and_o well_o experience_a pyhsitian_n have_v give_v his_o opinion_n of_o it_o that_o he_o never_o see_v so_o bad_a and_o disturb_v a_o estate_n in_o all_o his_o life_n before_o o_o the_o sad_a case_n o_o the_o sorry_a and_o miserable_a condition_n of_o man_n that_o be_v thus_o wound_v with_o the_o sting_n of_o conscience_n for_o his_o sin_n behold_v how_o david_n complain_v and_o lament_n in_o his_o 39_o psalm_n o_o take_v away_o thy_o plague_n from_o i_o for_o i_o be_o even_o cansume_v by_o mean_n of_o thy_o heavy_a band_n when_o thou_o with_o rebuke_n do_v chasten_v man_n for_o sin_n thou_o make_v his_o beauty_n to_o consume_v away_o like_a as_o it_o be_v a_o moth_a fret_v a_o garment_n every_o man_n therefore_o be_v but_o vanity_n o_o man_n unhappy_a man_n who_o can_v sufficient_o bemoan_v thou_o what_o heart_n be_v there_o can_v choose_v but_o smart_a to_o see_v this_o thy_o misery_n and_o here_o to_o show_v the_o grief_n that_o i_o now_o conceive_v ob_fw-la at_o my_o tongue_n can_v speak_v forth_o tear_n of_o blood_n and_o eye_n run_v down_o with_o water_n like_o a_o flood_n but_o to_o go_v on_o for_o we_o may_v not_o stay_v here_o i_o say_v to_o go_v on_o with_o the_o story_n of_o our_o dart_a and_o affright_v thought_n when_o any_o grievous_a and_o terrour-striking_a flash_n do_v dart_n into_o our_o mind_n we_o be_v present_o apt_a thereupon_o to_o ponder_v and_o examine_v with_o ourselves_o whether_o it_o be_v worse_o and_o of_o great_a impiety_n than_o those_o that_o we_o have_v former_o have_v and_o for_o the_o most_o part_n ever_o the_o last_o do_v seem_v to_o be_v the_o worst_a sometime_o it_o may_v be_v we_o may_v thus_o think_v with_o ourselves_o why_o what_o be_v they_o but_o bare_a thought_n they_o be_v not_o wish_n desire_n or_o real_a action_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o then_o perchance_o the_o next_o time_n these_o thought_n do_v come_v unto_o we_o in_o manner_n of_o wish_n which_o for_o the_o present_a through_o the_o sudden_a passion_n of_o fear_n do_v confound_v we_o with_o such_o a_o amazement_n that_o we_o can_v at_o all_o tell_v what_o to_o think_v or_o do_v we_o be_v so_o quite_o out_o of_o heart_n with_o those_o and_o our_o other_o dismayment_n for_o any_o hope_n of_o salvation_n that_o i_o think_v it_o be_v but_o a_o folly_n to_o persuade_v ourselves_o of_o comfort_n well_o when_o the_o thoadâ—_n of_o this_o overwhelm_a tempest_n be_v somewhat_o allay_v and_o pass_v over_o we_o shall_v perhaps_o begin_v to_o consider_v again_o be_v loath_a to_o be_v drown_v that_o grant_v they_o be_v wish_n or_o be_v they_o what_o they_o will_v be_v never_o so_o bad_a yet_o we_o can_v help_v it_o it_o be_v not_o in_o our_o power_n to_o dispose_v of_o our_o own_o thought_n though_o they_o do_v come_v thus_o unhappy_o unto_o we_o we_o desire_v they_o not_o we_o have_v rather_o be_v rid_v of_o they_o and_o then_o when_o we_o have_v so_o far_o pretty_a well_o resolve_v ourselves_o for_o the_o time_n rather_o than_o our_o melancholy_a fancy_n shall_v be_v at_o any_o rest_n or_o intermission_n from_o torment_a doubt_n and_o terror_n our_o half_n bewitch_v imagination_n our_o imagination_n i_o may_v well_o say_v as_o half_o bewitch_v will_v also_o send_v for_o they_o and_o bring_v they_o into_o mind_n and_o then_o there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o show_v of_o hope_n any_o more_o to_o be_v catch_v hold_n by_o than_o we_o be_v quite_o strike_v down_o into_o hell_n with_o a_o utter_a confusion_n of_o despair_n we_o have_v hitherto_o strive_v against_o might_n and_o all_o in_o vain_a too_o but_o deceive_v ourselves_o with_o hope_n without_o question_n such_o be_v our_o persuasion_n and_o conceit_n we_o must_v needs_o be_v damn_v if_o ever_o any_o be_v damn_v we_o be_v now_o shut_v under_o hatch_n past_a hope_n of_o recovery_n utter_o forsake_v and_o cast_v off_o from_o grace_n and_o sure_o we_o now_o count_v it_o a_o advantage_n and_o â—he_v only_a height_n of_o our_o hope_n if_o we_o may_v but_o be_v in_o a_o lesser_a degree_n of_o condemnation_n we_o do_v take_v it_o as_o a_o benefit_n to_o we_o not_o to_o be_v place_v in_o the_o extreme_a condition_n of_o hell_n this_o this_o be_v but_o a_o poor_a hope_n a_o cold_a comfort_n god_n know_v and_o yet_o even_o this_o so_o poor_a a_o hope_n can_v we_o hardly_o grant_v ourselves_o o_o now_o shall_v we_o think_v how_o happy_a be_v that_o soul_n that_o be_v but_o in_o probability_n of_o salvation_n oh_o it_o be_v not_o preferment_n credit_n rich_a apparel_n or_o outward_a pleasure_n the_o common_a joy_n and_o felicity_n of_o this_o world_n that_o stand_v high_a in_o our_o esteem_n we_o can_v now_o value_v these_o earthly_a thing_n true_o as_o they_o be_v even_o as_o nothing_o we_o envy_v not_o the_o happiness_n of_o those_o that_o have_v they_o nor_o be_v we_o discontent_a to_o be_v without_o they_o give_v we_o o_o lord_n give_v we_o this_o one_o thing_n the_o comfort_n of_o thy_o grace_n again_o the_o hope_n of_o salvation_n and_o we_o look_v for_o no_o more_o hither_o hither_o be_v our_o desire_n our_o care_n our_o thought_n only_o bend_v here_o be_v the_o only_a treasure_n we_o aim_v at_o there_o be_v no_o content_n without_o it_o to_o be_v have_v there_o be_v nothing_o with_o it_o that_o can_v make_v we_o sad_a two_o thing_n be_v here_o well_o to_o be_v observe_v by_o the_o way_n first_o that_o the_o mere_o reason_v and_o reflect_v thought_n of_o conscience_n do_v never_o cause_v such_o sharp_a fit_n of_o despair_n in_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n as_o those_o which_o be_v also_o partly_o dart_v and_o affright_v the_o second_o be_v that_o despair_n in_o the_o understanding_n be_v nothing_o so_o great_a a_o impiety_n against_o god_n as_o be_v despair_n in_o the_o will_n with_o a_o impatient_a resolution_n a_o despair_a motion_n or_o opinion_n as_o a_o desperate_a sin_n to_o return_v again_o to_o the_o disconsolate_a amazement_n of_o our_o soul_n labour_v in_o despair_n this_o poor_a hope_n as_o
i_o say_v of_o be_v in_o a_o lesser_a degree_n of_o condemnation_n we_o can_v grant_v unto_o ourselves_o for_o we_o shall_v reason_v chief_o thus_o if_o god_n be_v most_o just_a as_o he_o must_v needs_o be_v he_o can_v but_o distribute_v equal_a right_a and_o justice_n unto_o all_o man_n and_o so_o he_o may_v not_o spare_v any_o one_o person_n more_o than_o other_o for_o any_o favour_n or_o respect_v whatsoever_o but_o only_o for_o their_o good_a behaviour_n and_o as_o they_o have_v better_o husband_v their_o time_n and_o his_o gift_n in_o they_o for_o will_v the_o righteous_a god_n of_o all_o the_o world_n judge_v partial_o no_o very_o he_o be_v truth_n itself_o far_o be_v it_o from_o the_o lord_n as_o it_o be_v in_o the_o 34._o of_o job_n and_o the_o 10_o verse_n that_o he_o shall_v do_v wickedness_n and_o from_o the_o almighty_a that_o he_o shall_v commit_v iniqutty_n for_o the_o work_n of_o a_o man_n shall_v he_o render_v unto_o he_o and_o cause_v every_o man_n to_o find_v according_a to_o his_o way_n and_o though_o there_o be_v mercy_n to_o be_v find_v in_o christ_n for_o the_o great_a sinner_n yet_o be_v we_o notwithstanding_o i_o think_v to_o make_v account_n that_o god_n certain_o require_v our_o good_a behaviour_n in_o amendment_n of_o life_n according_a to_o that_o of_o saint_n paul_n in_o the_o second_o to_o the_o corinthian_n the_o 5._o chapter_n if_o any_o man_n be_v in_o christ_n he_o be_v a_o new_a creature_n as_o the_o father_n be_v truth_n so_o be_v the_o son_n and_o if_o we_o mean_v to_o be_v the_o better_a for_o he_o and_o come_v through_o he_o as_o the_o way_n into_o heaven_n we_o must_v follow_v he_o as_o he_o be_v the_o way_n and_o the_o truth_n in_o newness_n of_o life_n and_o therefore_o how_o can_v we_o who_o be_v thus_o in_o the_o great_a state_n of_o sin_n as_o we_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o be_v both_o in_o the_o former_a passage_n of_o our_o life_n as_o also_o especial_o now_o for_o these_o present_a thought_n and_o torment_a impiety_n of_o mind_n but_o needs_o expect_v and_o look_v for_o the_o great_a condemnation_n of_o all_o man_n so_o true_a be_v that_o heathen_a but_o wise_a speech_n se_fw-la judice_fw-la nemo_fw-la nocens_fw-la absolvitur_fw-la there_o be_v no_o advocate_n can_v plead_v our_o cause_n when_o conscience_n once_o do_v prosecute_v the_o law_n for_o nay_o yet_o further_o i_o think_v we_o do_v so_o much_o hate_v what_o we_o be_v and_o applaud_v truth_n and_o justice_n that_o unless_o we_o may_v be_v free_a from_o sin_n from_o this_o wretched_a and_o hellish_a condition_n of_o mind_n though_o god_n himself_o shall_v now_o call_v we_o into_o heaven_n we_o will_v sure_o stand_v without_o we_o can_v not_o nor_o will_v not_o come_v in_o unless_o he_o will_v show_v the_o like_a mercy_n upon_o all_o unless_o all_o other_o man_n be_v bid_v come_v in_o too_o who_o we_o be_v of_o opinion_n to_o be_v far_o more_o fit_a for_o it_o then_o ourselves_o well_o this_o thought_n and_o conceit_n as_o it_o have_v some_o reason_n in_o it_o in_o that_o we_o can_v deject_v ourselves_o as_o low_a as_o our_o sin_n deserve_v we_o know_v so_o much_o of_o ourselves_o that_o we_o can_v but_o think_v all_o other_o better_o than_o ourselves_o who_o be_v so_o exceed_o bad_a in_o ourselves_o i_o say_v again_o as_o it_o have_v reason_n in_o it_o due_o consider_v the_o unhappy_a state_n of_o sin_n and_o this_o transcendent_a unhappiness_n of_o the_o mind_n which_o be_v now_o so_o full_a of_o the_o hell_n of_o torment_a distemper_n and_o despair_n that_o we_o can_v think_v ourselves_o possible_o capable_a of_o that_o most_o holy_a place_n and_o glorious_a condition_n which_o be_v only_o fit_a for_o the_o purity_n of_o saint_n and_o angel_n yet_o be_v there_o no_o question_n a_o kind_n of_o close_a stubbornness_n usual_o join_v with_o it_o even_o in_o this_o our_o low_a dejection_n thus_o i_o say_v there_o may_v be_v though_o we_o do_v not_o all_o perceive_v it_o too_o much_o stomach_n in_o we_o too_o much_o stomach_n as_o much_o as_o to_o say_v since_o that_o god_n have_v not_o deliver_v we_o from_o these_o sin_n and_o wretched_a untowardness_n we_o be_v therefore_o as_o it_o be_v careless_a to_o be_v deliver_v from_o the_o punishment_n as_o if_o a_o father_n for_o some_o discontent_n shall_v shut_v his_o child_n out_o of_o door_n for_o a_o hour_n or_o two_o though_o perchance_o the_o father_n afterward_o will_v let_v he_o come_v in_o yet_o forsooth_o he_o will_v not_o but_o in_o a_o mog_a humour_n lie_v abroad_o all_o night_n so_o very_o in_o this_o aforesaid_a passage_n and_o conclusion_n of_o mind_n as_o i_o conceive_v it_o be_v not_o much_o unlike_a with_o we_o as_o if_o god_n have_v fcarce_o deal_v well_o enough_o with_o we_o to_o let_v we_o fall_v into_o these_o snare_n of_o sin_n and_o distraction_n therefore_o now_o peradventure_o in_o this_o case_n we_o do_v not_o much_o care_n for_o mercy_n our_o melancholy_a forsake_a soul_n as_o david_n in_o the_o 77._o psalm_n refuse_v comfort_n and_o as_o jacob_n at_o the_o suppose_a news_n of_o â—osephs_n death_n in_o the_o 37._o of_o genesis_n will_v not_o take_v comfort_n of_o his_o friend_n so_o now_o either_o we_o can_v or_o will_v not_o take_v comfort_n from_o other_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o tell_v tru_o which_o be_v the_o cause_n for_o sin_n these_o motion_n have_v so_o deep_a a_o secrecy_n the_o truth_n thereof_o there_o be_v none_o can_v well_o descry_v as_o i_o say_v let_v the_o cause_n be_v what_o it_o will_v be_v either_o real_a or_o imaginary_a or_o delude_v for_o note_v this_o that_o the_o excess_n of_o melancholy_n in_o many_o of_o we_o be_v altogether_o a_o strong_a distemper_a delusion_n of_o fancy_n however_o sure_a enough_o it_o be_v to_o our_o seem_n that_o we_o be_v not_o able_a to_o receive_v it_o because_o whatsoever_o be_v say_v to_o we_o by_o any_o of_o our_o friend_n or_o other_o in_o the_o way_n of_o comfort_v we_o now_o in_o this_o our_o extreme_a distress_n of_o mind_n for_o the_o most_o part_n it_o be_v all_o in_o vain_a and_o to_o no_o purpose_n as_o touch_v the_o sin_n which_o lie_v upon_o our_o conscience_n like_o mountain_n of_o lead_n too_o heavy_a for_o we_o to_o bear_v if_o it_o be_v urge_v and_o apply_v that_o st._n peter_n forswear_v christ_n his_o dear_a lord_n and_o master_n after_o that_o he_o have_v a_o long_a time_n receive_v so_o many_o gracious_a courtesy_n from_o he_o after_o that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o ancient_a apostle_n full_a of_o heavenly_a wisdom_n and_o understanding_n that_o david_n commit_v both_o murder_n and_o adultery_n in_o his_o elder_a age_n after_o he_o have_v familiar_o walk_v with_o god_n many_o year_n together_o and_o yet_o both_o these_o so_o great_a offender_n be_v easy_o forgive_v again_o that_o our_o saviour_n christ_n come_v into_o this_o world_n for_o nothing_o else_o die_v for_o no_o other_o purpose_n but_o only_o to_o save_v sinner_n and_o that_o he_o delight_v in_o mercy_n whilst_o he_o be_v here_o among_o we_o rejoice_v to_o do_v his_o father_n work_n that_o great_a work_n of_o mercy_n as_o appear_v by_o his_o general_a proclamation_n come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a lade_v etc._n etc._n and_o as_o it_o eminent_o appear_v by_o his_o manner_n of_o conversation_n upon_o earth_n by_o be_v usual_o among_o and_o familiar_a with_o publican_n and_o sinner_n by_o his_o favourable_a and_o kind_a speech_n and_o behaviour_n to_o that_o woman_n take_v in_o adultery_n to_o mary_n magdalen_n and_o the_o like_a nay_o â—et_o once_o further_o if_o it_o be_v urge_v and_o press_v unto_o our_o conscience_n that_o the_o mighty_a jehovah_n even_o the_o lord_n god_n himself_o in_o his_o own_o word_n have_v speak_v by_o the_o prophet_n ezekiel_n as_o i_o live_v say_v the_o lord_n god_n i_o desire_v not_o the_o death_n of_o the_o wicked_a and_o again_o most_o patheâ—tcally_o by_o the_o prophet_n isaiah_n though_o your_o sin_n be_v as_o crimson_a they_o shall_v be_v make_v as_o white_a as_o snow_n though_o they_o be_v red_a like_o scarleâ—_n they_o shall_v be_v as_o wool_n if_o you_o will_v i_o say_v if_o you_o will_v at_o last_o but_o endeavour_n to_o be_v reclaim_v if_o the_o consent_n etc._n etc._n as_o it_o follow_v in_o the_o next_o verse_n intimate_v that_o it_o be_v not_o the_o greatness_n of_o our_o sin_n that_o can_v separate_v his_o mercy_n from_o we_o if_o there_o be_v any_o desire_n or_o inclination_n to_o good_a be_v it_o never_o so_o little_a even_o as_o nothing_o for_o he_o will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v i_o bruise_v reed_n alas_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v a_o very_a little_a fire_n that_o do_v but_o make_v the_o flax_n to_o smoke_n when_o as_o
it_o be_v so_o combustible_a a_o thing_n that_o the_o least_o spark_n be_v able_a to_o set_v it_o in_o a_o flame_n alas_o the_o brickle_z reed_n be_v bruise_v and_o crush_v into_o shiver_n it_o be_v a_o very_a little_a holdfast_n that_o it_o have_v it_o be_v as_o good_a as_o quit_v break_v off_o and_o yet_o he_o will_v not_o break_v it_o off_o it_o shall_v grow_v together_o again_o become_v firm_a and_o useful_a such_o be_v the_o exceed_a mercy_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o poor_a sinner_n even_o beyond_o all_o humane_a likelihood_n and_o capacity_n when_o man_n do_v see_v no_o hope_n or_o life_n at_o all_o our_o god_n can_v then_o revive_v we_o with_o a_o call_n and_o yet_o lo_o all_o these_o comfortable_a persuasion_n can_v do_v no_o good_a all_o this_o be_v but_o surdâ—_n cavere_fw-la to_o sing_v as_o it_o be_v to_o a_o dead_a man_n this_o nor_o nothing_o of_o this_o fit_v our_o disease_n it_o come_v not_o aneer_v i_o think_v unto_o our_o case_n it_o agree_v not_o with_o our_o malady_n though_o christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o though_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v most_o large_a and_o merciful_a promise_n in_o the_o scripture_n for_o the_o comfort_n of_o sinner_n yet_o this_o be_v nothing_o to_o we_o this_o concern_v not_o such_o sinner_n as_o we_o such_o grievous_a such_o constant_a such_o high_o rebellious_a sinner_n if_o other_o have_v sin_v grievous_o and_o yet_o be_v save_v certain_a there_o be_v a_o far_o great_a reason_n for_o it_o in_o their_o other_o towardliness_n to_o good_a or_o the_o like_a then_o that_o we_o can_v find_v in_o ourselves_o mark_v it_o it_o be_v this_o our_o present_a untowardness_n that_o always_o put_v we_o into_o the_o great_a plunge_n of_o despair_n and_o thus_o our_o thought_n stand_v full_o possess_v with_o nothing_o else_o but_o that_o we_o be_v remediless_a wretch_n desperate_a miscreant_n and_o utter_o forsake_v of_o god_n and_o no_o marvel_n that_o through_o this_o sad_a unhappiness_n of_o mind_n that_o we_o we_o miserable_a wretched_a and_o sinful_a soul_n be_v thus_o forsake_v when_o as_o our_o bless_a saviour_n himself_o in_o that_o his_o great_a agony_n of_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o mind_n on_o the_o cross_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o no_o marvel_n i_o say_v that_o we_o who_o be_v the_o great_a of_o sinner_n shall_v be_v forsake_v and_o leave_v alone_o to_o sink_v into_o unmerciful_a despair_n when_o as_o he_o that_o be_v no_o sinner_n at_o all_o even_o one_o with_o god_n himself_o with_o the_o imputative_a burden_n of_o our_o sin_n cry_v out_o as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v leave_v destitute_a and_o even_o ready_a to_o yield_v under_o they_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o but_o to_o go_v on_o o_o the_o strength_n of_o melancholy_a or_o rather_o indeed_o the_o strength_n of_o sin_n and_o a_o convict_a conscience_n in_o melancholy_a nature_n there_o be_v no_o argument_n and_o reason_n of_o the_o most_o skilful_a divine_n that_o can_v ease_v our_o heart_n or_o refresh_v our_o soul_n in_o this_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n perhaps_o moderate_a physic_n convenient_a employment_n and_o the_o constant_a company_n direction_n and_o guidance_n of_o some_o wise_a understanding_n party_n may_v be_v necessary_a outward_a help_n for_o we_o but_o very_o the_o best_a inner_a comfort_n that_o at_o any_o time_n we_o do_v gather_v though_o usual_o it_o be_v but_o little_a be_v as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v by_o those_o that_o be_v or_o have_v be_v afflict_v with_o trouble_n and_o disturbance_n of_o mind_n somewhat_o alike_o we_o in_o the_o same_o kind_n either_o by_o a_o full_a understanding_n of_o the_o event_n passage_n and_o condition_n of_o their_o trouble_n or_o else_o by_o conference_n with_o they_o if_o it_o may_v be_v and_o communicate_v our_o estate_n and_o malady_n together_o take_v it_o for_o a_o rule_n that_o that_o physician_n still_o in_o all_o disease_n fit_v the_o patient_n best_o who_o be_v own_o experience_n do_v improve_v his_o skill_n and_o it_o confirm_v with_o a_o probatum_fw-la est_fw-la the_o experience_n i_o say_v of_o other_o misery_n be_v the_o best_a satisfaction_n we_o can_v find_v in_o our_o own_o and_o true_o we_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o a_o better_a or_o more_o general_o sovereign_a salve_n in_o the_o compare_v of_o all_o our_o judgement_n &_o experience_n together_o then_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o our_o grievous_a torture_n and_o distress_n of_o mind_n to_o strive_v whole_o to_o rest_v ourselves_o as_o quiet_a as_o content_v and_o as_o patient_a as_o we_o may_v and_o to_o tarry_v the_o lord_n leisure_n our_o soul_n our_o body_n and_o all_o be_v in_o thy_o hand_n o_o god_n deal_v with_o we_o as_o it_o shall_v seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n if_o thou_o have_v ordain_v and_o prepare_v we_o for_o heaven_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n if_o thou_o have_v give_v we_o over_o and_o that_o we_o be_v like_o tare_n bind_v up_o and_o fit_v for_o hell_n bless_v also_o be_v thy_o name_n it_o be_v doubtless_o for_o thy_o glory_n and_o it_o be_v but_o our_o just_a desert_n come_v life_n come_v death_n come_v heaven_n come_v heâ—l_o the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v we_o be_v not_o able_a to_o sustain_v the_o care_n of_o ourselves_o all_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o poor_a soul_n and_o body_n be_v not_o sufficient_a to_o take_v a_o full_a charge_n or_o undergo_v care_n enough_o to_o preserve_v the_o least_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n much_o less_o of_o so_o noble_a a_o creature_n as_o be_v the_o soul_n of_o man_n since_o therefore_o we_o be_v not_o sufficient_a for_o these_o thing_n we_o must_v do_v the_o best_a we_o may_v and_o cast_v the_o rest_n of_o our_o care_n upon_o god_n humble_o resign_v over_o ourselves_o unto_o he_o that_o so_o he_o may_v bear_v that_o care_n for_o we_o which_o our_o weak_a and_o narrow_a â—ouls_n can_v bear_v for_o themselves_o sure_o we_o do_v not_o a_o little_a offend_v god_n i_o be_o very_o of_o the_o mind_n in_o be_v over_o much_o discontent_a and_o impatient_o grieve_v as_o many_o time_n we_o be_v in_o ourselves_o â—ot_n though_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o our_o misery_n be_v persuade_v to_o be_v content_a and_o to_o be_v resolve_v with_o more_o quietness_n of_o mind_n we_o shall_v usual_o not_o without_o reason_n plead_v for_o our_o grieve_v and_o take_v on_o so_o deep_o o_o lord_n how_o can_v we_o be_v quiet_a and_o at_o rest_n to_o sustain_v such_o a_o hell_n in_o our_o breast_n can_v we_o carry_v fiery_a coal_n in_o our_o bosom_n and_o not_o be_v burn_v therewith_o can_v our_o soul_n be_v rack_v with_o such_o torment_a anguish_n of_o impious_a thought_n and_o despair_a terror_n and_o yet_o not_o weep_v sigh_n and_o abundant_o complain_v thereof_o do_v not_o hezekiah_n in_o the_o 38._o of_o isaiah_n chatter_v like_o a_o crow_n and_o a_o swallow_n and_o mourn_v like_o a_o dove_n for_o the_o fear_n of_o cut_v off_o of_o a_o few_o momentary_a day_n and_o can_v we_o be_v sufficient_o impatient_a with_o grief_n to_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n even_o all_o hope_n of_o heaven_n for_o ever_o shall_v rachel_n mourn_v for_o the_o loss_n of_o her_o child_n so_o that_o she_o will_v not_o be_v comfort_v and_o can_v we_o weep_v and_o cry_v out_o enough_o for_o the_o loss_n of_o our_o soul_n unto_o all_o eternity_n nay_o can_v we_o endure_v but_o so_o much_o as_o to_o conceive_v the_o devil_n hale_v â—erking_a and_o torment_v any_o of_o our_o dear_a friend_n either_o live_n or_o depart_v this_o life_n i_o say_v to_o see_v their_o distract_a look_n to_o hear_v their_o lamentable_a and_o intolerable_a cry_n and_o not_o to_o have_v our_o bowel_n melt_v within_o we_o and_o we_o can_v endure_v to_o see_v ourselves_o turn_v out_o from_o the_o face_n of_o god_n for_o ever_o to_o burn_v and_o fry_v most_o deserve_o with_o everlasting_a pain_n in_o hell_n fire_n o_o let_v we_o alone_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o these_o thing_n to_o pour_v out_o ourselves_o into_o ocean_n of_o tear_n and_o to_o roar_v even_o roar_v aloud_o forth_o very_a disquietness_n of_o our_o heart_n i_o say_v o_o let_v we_o howl_v cry_v out_o and_o make_v a_o moan_n able_a to_o break_v the_o very_a heart_n of_o stone_n so_o just_a cause_n have_v we_o in_o this_o case_n i_o think_v to_o forrow_v without_o measure_n nay_o more_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a then_o to_o the_o very_a death_n be_v there_o any_o cause_n of_o sorrow_n like_o this_o cause_n weep_v not_o for_o i_o that_o labour_n may_v be_v spare_v to_o weep_v for_o other_o thing_n but_o weep_v for_o ourselves_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o that_o be_v true_o to_o be_v weep_v for_o and_o nothing_o else_o but_o