might get it without borrowing This motion at first put him into a trembling nevertheless knowing where his Masters Cash used to lie he went to the place but yet came back again before he had taken any as doubting what to do But the Tempter putting him forward he went to the place again where having broke open a lock he took out some bags of money which afterwards he hid in the ground not far from the House Having now yielded to the Devil thus far he still pusheth him forward and tempts him to conceive mischief against the poor Maid and murder her that in so doing his Robbery might be concealed Then going forth with a bloody mind he finds the Maid in the Corn-close and coming to her trips up her heels she saying no more but what do you make account to do with me and forthwith with her own knife cuts her throat and then throws away the knife Having committed this barbarous cruelty he was soon under such horrour that he thought to have done the like to himself had the knife been in his hand I thought saith he I could have laid violent hands upon my self praised be God he did restrain me from so doing But I continued as he writes under so great terrour that I thought would have thanked any man to have knockt me on the head and thus it was with me till I came to Prison Afterwards going homeward by the way he cut his Fingers on purpose that the blood which stain'd his clothes might be thought to proceed from thence The report of this murder soon flying abroad of some his relations desired him to go to his Masters-House and see how things were He pretends a willingness to go and make enquiry but having gone a little way he turns aside went not thither at all His not going caused suspicion upon which some ten days after he was apprehended and carried before 2 Justices of Peace * Justice Matthews and then Sir Nevil Catlin who after examination made his Mittimus and sent him to Norwich Castle Here his sorrow for a time was somewhat allayed yet he repented and bewail'd his Sins in secret to God tho' he was unwilling to discover them to the world Here being no evil company he did as others did altho' his Conscience troubled him for so doing In this frame he continued till the time of his escape with another Prisoner to Yarmouth This Prisoner being minded to get away tells Gymer of two men that were to assist him so that he also was desirous to go with him I did saith he Promise my self if I got away and were not taken again I would spend the rest of my days in some Forreign place and there work for my Living and bewail my self for my Sins But if I were taken I was resolved to confess my Sins to the World and take the shame belonging to me Gymer and his Fellow-Prisoner upon request obtained the liberty of going to the Jailors-House to spend some mony in Drink but upon their return to the Castle it being in the evening somewhat dark they both slipt down the Hill undiscerned deceiving their Keeper that went before and so travelled to Yarmouth But being soon pursued they were both there apprehended his Heart now smites him and unlooseth his tongue freely to confess his Sins of Lying and Swearing and the Theft and Murder he had committed These he oft acknowledged to Ministers and others that visited him and being arraigned the last Assizes in Court he pleaded guilty three times one after another His Conscience being awakened and wounded he hath given Glory to God in confessing his wickedness and ever since hath been diligent in seeking the Lord for the life of his Soul and greatly desirous of the Prayers and Assistance of Ministers and of all serious and Pious Christians His ingenuity manifested in his frequent Confessions his humble and meek behaviour in the place and condition his iniquities had brought him into his patient accepting of the punishment deserved his readiness to hearken to and follow good Counsel and the diligence he gave both day and night in making his Calling and Election sure were remarkable and gained him so great an interest in the prayers and affections of all serious Christians of what persuasion soever who had any acquaintance with him or did believe the good report that was given of him as is not ordinary By these and such like good fruit he obtained a good report and it could not well be judged otherwise but that the Tree must be made good which brought forth such good fruit After his apprehension at Yarmouth and being brought again to prison the poor Prodigal came to himself And when I began saith he in writing to consider of my sins and that for ought I knew I had sent a Soul to Hell the thoughts thereof made me tremble and almost conclude there could be no mercy for so vile a wretch And in this condition I was for some time But in reading the Scripture I found a place where 't is said Come now let us reason together saith the Lord though your sins be as scarlet they shall be white as snow though they be red as crimson they shall be as wooll Isa 1.18 These words so affected my heart that I cannot express the comfort I found by them But some time after I fell into doubts again because I was in Fetters God would not hear my cries in this place But reading of Manasseh's finding mercy in Prâ—son 2 Cron. 33.12 13. after he had spent a great deal of time in wickedness and had committed great sins This put me in hope it was not too late for me And that comfortable saying of Christ Come to me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Matth. 1â— 28 And many places in Ezek. 18. have been my comfort By these promises I found there was a door of hope open for me which brought me to so great a change in the thoughts of my heart that I have thought I would not exchange them for the whole World and so I continued in such a delightful frame that I thought my heart was almost ravished But at times my affections grew cold again which I have endeavoured to raise again And in reading the first of John's Epistles chap. 2. v. 1. If any man sin we have an Advocate with the Father Jesus Christ the righteous That and other places of Scripture have been my comfort to this present moment I have such comfort in my heart that I can willingly yield up the Ghost These are his expressions which I find in some of his Papers he sent to me In one of my Visits which I made to him I advised him he speaking but little to set down in writing the Experiences he had of Gods dealings with his Soul and seeing he was not like to live long here I desired him to shew his Friends the Ground or Reasons of his
commit my Spirit Lord Jesus receive my Soul Had I known beforehand this lot would have fallen on me to write these lines I think I should have been more concerned in the visits I made to him to observe things more exactly and set down passages material as they occurred which must now be passed over in silence But Reader come and see come and read with an honest mind and purpose that little which is here presented before thee touching this Monument of Divine Judgment and Mercy and the Lord help thee in truth upon the whole to say This sight hath done my heart good Thus prays he who desires thy prayers and is Thy Friend and Souls well wisher John Lucas Octob. 22d 1696. The exceeding abundant Grace of God displayed in the Conversion of William Gymer a penitent Malefactor THE Grace and good will of God lays hold on the chief of Sinners The Elect obtain it the rest are hardened One is taken the other left Luke 23.39 40. One of the Thieves on the Cross rails on Christ the heart of the other Relents He acknowledgeth the Righteousness of God in his sufferings and accepts of the punishment of his iniquity and also reproves his Fellow-Malefactor for his hard speeches which as an ungodly sinner he spake against the Lord Jesus and the want of the fear of the God tho' under the same Condemnation This Grace exerted it self in turning the heart of this great Offender ver 42. and made a gracious and wonderful change in him renewing a right Spirit in him He now at last unfeignedly and sincerely believeth in Jesus Christ He calleth him Lord and owneth his Divine Nature who as Man was suffering pain and shame and the curse on the Cross for our sake He looks upon him as the Eternal Son of God and heir of that Kingdom of Glory which he believed his Lord was going to He prays to be remembred by him when he came into his Kingdom and accounted his remembrance of him was sufficient to make him a happy man q. d. Remember me O Lord Ps 106.4 5. with the favour that thou bearest unto thy people O visit me with thy Salvation that I may see thee good of thy chosen that I may rejoyce in the gladness of thy Nation that I may glory with thine Inheritance Lesus who turned as it were a deaf ear to the Blasphemies of his Enemies to the derision of the Rulers and Souldiers mocking graciously inclines to hearken to this poor Malefactor's request ver 43. and gives him this Answer Verily I say unto thee this day shalt thou be with me in Paradice q. d. Seeing thou hast owned and confessed me in my suffering-state blessed art thou Flesh and blood hath not revealed this unto thee but my Father who is in Heaven Fear not thy Soul shall go from hence with me to the City of the living God the Heavenly Jerusalem and to an innumerable Company of Angels and to the Spirits of Just men made perfect and dwell with me in my Kingdom for ever 1. 'T is certain then that the Soul of Man is immortal It dyeth not with the body but passeth into another world and there abideth either in a state of misery or a state of blessedness until the Resurrection-day when all shall be awakned and come forth some to everlasting Life and some to Shame and everlasting Contempt 2. And 't is of no less certainty that a Penitent Malefactor's Soul may go from a Prison or a Gallows to Paradice or Heaven as well as the Soul of any other person that repenteth The Mercy of God in the Salvation of any is exceeding rich and free the merit of our Lord and Saviour is alsufficient and of large extent and the offer of Grace is made to all Isa 55.1 Rev. 22.17 John 6.37 Rev. 1.5.6 Every one that thirsteth is invited to come to the waters Whosoever will let him take of the water of life freely And him that cometh Christ will in no wise cast out O the height and depth the breadth and length of the love of God in Christ Jesus who loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own blood unto him be glory and dominion for ever Amen An eminent instance and Monument of Divine Grace it pleased God to set up among us lately in Norwich Castle concerning which take this relation following which for substance according to what I have seen and heard I set down as true One William Gymer Sept. 4th 1696. who lately was Executed on the Castle-Hill for Robbery and Murder lived formerly with one Mr. Bucknam a Tanner of Hadsco in the County of Norfolk but afterwards being married he dwelt with his Father-in-law at Alby not far from Hadsco * Abrve two miles In one of his Papers which he left he tells us that the course of his life was led in great ignorance that about 7 years ago he almost doubted whether there were a God or no but afterwards walking abroad by looking on the Herbs of the Field he was convinced of his Atheism and Folly and was heartily sorry for his former ignorance upon this Conviction he endeavoured as he writes to seek after God and did heartily beg of God to enable him by his Spirit and so he did continue as he saith in an humble frame till about a year and half before he committed those great Crimes which brought him to destruction for then he gave himself up to the Sin of Lying and so ran on in that way at times his Conscience accusing him he was grieved and troubled yet he still continued in his course of Lying to blind the world i. e. to keep others in ignorance of some other Sins he was guilty of so I understand by his writing He was convinced of the wickedness of his way and daily prayed to God to forgive him those sins and all other But the day before saith he I committed these crimes i. e. Robbery and Murder I was boasting in my self and thought my self in as happy a condition as any man in my Station and it was not in my thoughts to do any such wickedness half an hour before I did it In the year 1695 in or near the time of Harvest on a Lord's day after morning he went to his M. Bucknam's house with an intent to borrow 40 shillings of one of the Servants concerning which he had spoken to him some time before But all being gone to Church excepting the maid servant he told her the Swine were got out of the yard hereupon the maid fearing lest they should get into the standing Corn she soon ran out and having a knife in her hand which she had been making use of she stuck it on the side of her bosom and hastily went into the Corn-close near the House Gymer being now left alone Satan put it into his heart to rob his Master and his evil heart suggested to him what need he borrow money when he
hope of a better life He harkened to this motion and declared his willingness in doing what I requested and at last sent me some Manuscripts written with his own hand Having given the Reader this brief Account of some passages of this poor Malefactor's Life I shall in the next place from his example make some observations more particular which I heartily desire we may wisely improve to our spiritual Benefit There is no trust to be put in the best Nature or Natural Disposition Obs 1 Gymer had a good Report in this respect and was as I have heard commended as a person of sobriety and meekness and readiness to do for any that stood in need of his help yet he proved at last a Thief and Murderer Let a man have never so good a Nature 't is still a nature tainted with sin and being void of true Grace in time of temptation hath no inclination or power to resist the Devil A good nature is easily inticed and led into evil practices 'T is a nature not renewed by the Holy Spirit attended with a hard heart as a Peach under a smooth skin hath a hard stone 'T is a nature like the Sea very calm at times but rageth when the wind and storms arise 'T is said the tame Fox doth more mischief than any other when he gets away and runs wild David was a good man and of an excellent Spirit yet in time of temptation he defiles Bathsheba and killeth Uriah her Husband with the Sword 2 Sam. 11.4 2 Sam. 12.9 If a good nature sanctified thus wickedly plays its part and acts so strangely and cruelly too what confidence can we put in a nature not seasoned with grace O Christian hear and give ear your Lord hath spoken it Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation Mat. 26.41 And again What I say unto you I say unto all watch Mark 13.47 Be not high minded but fear Let him that standeth take heed lest he fall Consider seriously there are many Adversaries 1. Many Devils this lower Region is full of such Monsters that are great in power exceeding subtle and make it their business to deceive and destroy immortal Souls 2. Your own heart is deceitful above measure and desperately wicked very prone to turn aside and comply with the Enemy And 3. Very wise and holy persons have fallen down wounded in Conscience before this Enemy and hardly recovered their peace with God a long time after Keep thy heart therefore with all diligence study the frame and constitution of thy own mind and labour to understand where thy weakness most lies and where the Tempter is most likely to prevail Watch against the occasions and first sproutings of sin and pray in good earnest Lord lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil A man may pray and do many commendable good things Obs 2 and yet afterwards fall into very vile and abominable ways and practices This poor Wretch for some years together did use to call upon God and walk blameless comparatively with many others yet at last he became a Lyar a Swearer a Sabbath-breaker he coveted an evil Covetousness and then violently spilt the blood of an innocent person one that had done him no harm Herod heard John the Baptist gladly and did many things and yet put him to death tho' against his own Conscience Mark 6.20 26 27. Judas was receiver of the Contributions that came in and. Steward to lay out upon occasion Vines on the Sacrament p. 59 60. but being not faithful to his trust he is called a Thief John 12.6 And tho' he retained to such a Master and was a Teacher and Preacher of heavenly Doctrine yet he proceeds higher and of a Thief be comes a Traytor Luke 22.4 6. He conceived this sin and travelled with it and with no better preparation comes to the Passover After the Sop Satan enters into him John 13.27 And now as the Devil would have it he sells that Blood saith that Reverend Minister of Christ which should have been sprinkled on his Door-posts This is a fearful Example saith he to all that after such a President dare venture upon a Sacracrament to which they come with purpose to go on in those sins they bring to it I question not but there are who daily say their prayers and yet the Devil puts them upon hating those ways which their Conscience tells them are the best and to do evil to those persons that would willingly do them good and help them forward in the way of Life And tho' they pray for grace to walk in the ways of God yet their prayers being without Faith unfeigned and seriousness Satan still prevails and puts them upon chusing those ways the end whereof is death and damnation Gymer told me he prayed that Lord's-day morning tho' but coldly as he afterwards observed before he went forth Yet neither the consideration of the God he prayed to nor of the day he commanded to be kept holy did restrain him from the committing of those hainous crimes Reader if thou truly desirest to profit by this Example make conscience of praying continually but take heed of resting in formal cold and lazy prayers Prayer is but one means and as 't is to be followed with care and diligence in order to the preservation of the inward man so it is to be joyned with the use of other means of Christ's appointment We must watch as well as pray and put our trust in the Lord as well as offer the Sacrifices of righteousness Psal 4.5 The total forbearance of food in a few days doth ordinarily bring forth death and the giving Nature less than it requires weakens but if you give it its due yet other means are to be used as apparel exercise rest fire air water for the maintaining of the Body in health and well-being Thus we must pray and read the Word of God and hear it Preacht and put on Christ by Faith for the strengthening of our Soul and put on the whole Armour of God that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil Ephes 6.11 Temptations to vilest and most detestable deeds beset unwary sinners on a sudden yet usually they prevail by degrees Obser 3 Gymer little thought of being led into such Temptations or of yielding to them when he went forth to his Masters House Nay if you will believe him he thought nothing had no design of Committing those crimes for which he dyed half an hour before he was guilty of them But one sin made way for another He had yielded for some time to the sin of Lying and sometimes Swearing and then to Sabbath-breaking and having not truly repented of these sins the Devil gets ground and grows stronger and stronger upon him and evil motions suggested being not resisted but admitted and dallied withal overcome him Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust then when lust hath conceived it
bringeth forth sin and sin when it is finished bringeth forth death Jam. 1.14 15. If we provide for the flesh our prayers will but little avail and help us against the fulfilling of the lusts of it Remember Friend into whose hands these papers come while thou warrest against that wicked one thou standest on slippery ground thou fightest as it were with a burden upon thy Back and thy Enemy hath this Advantage against thee in that he is invisible and hath also a party within thee whom he too easily persuades and inticeth to joyn with him against thy Soul Be sober be vigilant and pray without ceasing and when he shoots in his fiery-darts hold up the Sword of the Spirit and the shield of Faith and lift up a cry to him who is the hope and help of his Israel and never yield consent if thou consent not he may disturb thee a while but cannot conquer 'T is written for thy encouragement Submit your selves therefore to God who giveth grace to the humble Resist the Devil and he shall flee from you Jam. 4.6 7. God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy Obser 4 and such as have much forgiven do love much and do more than others So did that wicked Woman call'd a sinner Luk. 7.37 who forsaking all other Lovers Luke 7.47 inquires after Christ and knowing where he was makes bold to enter in without the Pharissee Invitation She expresseth her love in washing his feet with her tears and wiping them with the hair of her head her heart runs out at her eyes as it were saying Alas my Lord that ever I should do as I have done O wonderful that ever thou shouldst admit such a wretch as I am to come into thy presence Sinners notorious for lewdness and vile practices have come to themselves and returned unto their Heavenly Father and have proved wonders to themselves and others and Eminent examples of redeeming time and glorifying the Lord in bringing forth much fruit and much more than many hundred that make some profession of Religion do O what a difference doth grace make between a bare Professor and a real Convert What a glorious change is made in the Heart and Life of a true Penitent What difference was there between Gymer when first imprisoned and the same man after at his apprehension at Yarmouth At first his heart is shut up and he openeth not his mouth to give glory to God in Confession and then he play'd at Cards and complied with his Fellow-Prisoners in doing as they did tho' his Conscience grumbled at it and rebuked him for it afterward he ingeniously confesseth his wickedness and all comes out freely he humbles himself greatly as Manitassch did in his affliction 2 Chron. 33.12 He is a man of sorrow and is solicitous about the state of his Soul Now his eyes being open his heart is affected and he is thankful to God that he was taken and did not escape the hand of the pursuers Now he is much taken with the wisdom and goodness of God in bringing him to Repentance in such a way and giving him a space of repentance He now sets upon the work in good earnest and help comes in and he blesseth the Divine Majesty of Heaven for exciting and stirring up the spirit of divers of his Servants both Ministers and others to assist him by their prayers and instructions Sinners that have gone on with an high hand in bloody and deceitful ways tho' the Lord give pardon upon repentance Obser 5 yet he usually takes vengeance on their inventions I read of one Wasoraw a Gentleman See fulfilling of Scripture p. 488. who was one who took delight in making difference between men and he stirr'd up a Neighbour Gentleman to kill another and finding him troubled in mind about the murder committed he told him more of that practice would be the best cure For he himself had killed six and at first he was much disquieted but the longer it continued it became the more easy But one day he riding to a place where two were to decide a quarrel by fighting his Horse stumbles on the side of a steep Rock and he falls a great way down his Sword falling out before him yet without any hurt Upon this the Lord brake in upon his conscience so that he turns home with great trouble and remorse and a most kindly change follows thereupon and for some years after he manifested much tenderness and repentance He spent much time alone in mourning before his de ath and that day he dyed he was heard in his Chamber wrastling in prayer and after long continuance they of the house knocking at the door and getting no answer brake it open and find him dead upon his knees and the whole blood of his body which from every passage had issued out swimming about him on the floor Tho' men may neglect doing of justice yet Divine Justice will not spare the murderer tho' upon his repentance God will remember his Soul in mercy The shedder of man's blood sometimes escapes the Justice of man but the righteous Lord of Heaven and earth will not let him go unpunished tho' he pardon the truly penitent sinner yet he declares to the world the abhorrency of his sin And thus he did deal with David 2 Sam. 12.9 10.13 14. And thus he dealt also with this poor Malefactor we treat of he set his sins in array against him which as a Lyon did sorely bruise and wound his Conscience He tells us in writing of tumultuous thoughts that he had in secret about his condition without Christ and considering saith he how Satan hath betrayed me and led me from one sin to another God was pleased to make me sensible of my sins and I was ready to despair of any mercy But in reading those words of Isaiah chap. 1.8 Come now and let us reason together saith the Lord tho' your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow tho' they be red like Crimson they shall be as Wool And upon the thoughts of Mary Magdalen whose wickedness was great yet upon her repentance she obtained pardon I had comfort But many other times I have been almost distracted for fear God would not accept of such a vile wretch as I am But then I thought of the Thief on the Cross and put up many prayers and have been again refreshed And as he was under deep dejection of Spirit Obser 6 so afterwards he was sweetly lifted up As his afflictions abounded so did his Consolations in the free and preciouspromises His comfort arising from his hope in the word was so strong and steady that for some Months before he dyed he feared not death no not that kind of death he expected to die but rather greatly desired it O saith he Psal 55.6 that I had the wings of a Dove The time seemed long to him till he came to his rest He declined not in the least the
stroke of death but that he might be sure to die he confest himself guilty three times upon his Inditement and Arraignment at the Bar. There could be no positive evidence produced against him but by his own Confession he saved the Judge and Jury the trouble of a Tryal I askt him afterwards whether he were satisfied in his so doing and his answer was very well He writ to his Wife that his sins had so troubled his conscience that if every limb of his Body had a several soul or life he would willingly yield up all to make restitution for the sorrow and shame he had brought her unto But all being not able to do it he desired of God so to sanctifie the affliction that it might be a blessed Instrument to purge her from the vain conceits of the pleasures of this life I know saith he our blessed Saviour liveth who suffered and died for us and that he hath great compassion towards those who would gladly follow him tho' it be through sufferings He desires above all things that he and all his Friends might be made like to him in meekness and patience and entirely resign themselves to God's holy Will and Pleasure whatever their condition be He gave diligence to make his Calling and Election sure Obser 7 and the Lord crowned it with a good hope through Grace He made it his business sometimes by night as well as by day to make his peace with God and his labour was not in vain He sought the Lord and he heard him He asked and receive Psalm 51.14 15. the remission of his sins and his joy in the Lord upon it was his strength God did deliver him from blood-guiltiness and his Tongue did sing aloud of his Righteousness The Lord did in blotting out his great Transgressions open his Mouth and his Lips shewed forth his praise He attained in a little time to a higher degree of true Christianity and in the Kingdom of God which consists in Righteousness and Peace and Joy in the Holy Ghost than many Professors of long standing as they have gone to work could ever reach or attain unto He longed for his dying day and to go to Christ tho' it were by the Gallows He told me that way of dying did not dismay or terrifie him He rather wisht it as the desert of his heinous Crimes than feared it He lived a sweet and comfortable Life especially towards his latter end When I enquired how 't was with him his usual answer was I find comfort in seeking God and would often say Never better And so I understand he said in the Morning before his Execution Never better He gave glory to God in taking shame to himself and his ingenuous Confession was no disgrace to him turned to good account and his great advantage He left the world and laid aside the thoughts of Life some Months before he died and in so doing he found God and thereupon lived a contented and comfortable Life Comenius tell us The Brethren of Bohemia placed the beginning middle and end of Religion not in disputing but in doing i. e in true Conversion to God and solid Faith in Christ This was the way he walked in He was like a little Child considerate for nothing but simplicity not coveting any thing but the favour of God making it his business to serve the Lord in Spirit and Truth to look up to Heaven to renounce trust in Earth and take heed of nothing so much as of oftending God or Man by neglecting any duty And being taken up with these things he had learned to be content in a Prison He placed his Religion in the love of God and studying his love and goodness and in his praises He was more solicitous about his duty to God than about his dealings with him as knowing he would do all things well and he so lived as one devoted to his service He seemed to understand wherein the height of a Christian Life and the greatest part of his duty consisted viz in love to Christ and delight in him and thankful and cheerful obedience to his Will God call'd him to a thankful acceptance of Christ that made satisfaction for his sins and enabled him to proceed in a sweet compliance with the Will of the Redeemer he believed in One while I feared as I told him his resting on prayer and duties instead of trusting in Christ the only Foundation he must build upon But as I found he was thro' Grace disposed not only to hear but also to follow the directions that were given to him so I see reason to hope he hearkened to his caution and counsel as he did in other particulars which I observed In one of my Visits I askt him whether he could sing and would joyn with us in singing a Psalm He consented to the motion and did accordingly and afterwards seemed much to delight in that heavenly exercise to the last singing heartily as unto the Lord. He determined before-hand that on the morning before he came forth to suffer he would read the 12th chapter of Isaiah and so he did and read also the 40th chapter of the same Prophet and also Psal 46. and sang part of the 33d Psalm and after his withdrawing a while to pray with his fellow-suffer he came forth again and put on his dying-clothes and took his leave of the Prisoners cheerfully shaking them by the hand In the Grand-Jury Chamber earnest prayers were poured out for him and the other that suffered with him who would not confess he was accessory to the murder of the Child he was condemned for God stirred up the heart of divers Ministers to go to him to instruct and exhort him and to be fervent in Spirit while they prayed for him And I have grounds to hope God heard their cries He was much concerned for the Souls of others Obser 8 He did often read to and pray with the Prisoners He told a Friend the hardness of his fellow-sufferers heart had made him shed many tears He often was alone spending his time in reading thinking and praying and at times prayed with the Prisoners that would joyn with him Having obtained Grace he was willing to communicate it in the best manner he could He writ a Letter to the Father of the Maid he murdered wherein he confest whatever Charge he loaded him with it was still far less than his grievous Crime and yet he tells him there was no proportion between his Crime and the Infinite Mercy of God But what comfort is in this saith he if I have no share in it I am told there is mercy with God for me and that one way to it lies by your Door To you therefore I come in meekness of spirit beseeching you for God's sake to forgive your share and so to forgive as to become an earnest Suitor for my pardon from God Had every Limb of my Body a several living Soul I should willingly yield all up as a
Sacrifice to Legal Justice But the Divine Wrath must be appeased and mercy obtained by a better Sacrifice and that is the Blood the most precious Blood of the Son of God our Saviour Jesus Christ This Blood is the only Medicine of Blood-guiltiness Lord wash me from this and I shall be clean And I should be in a higher degree of hope to obtain this blessing could I but hear you say as I hope you will to this prayer say Amen which is the most humble desire of a sorrowful Soul in Prison William Gymer Some have doubted and so have I whether these Lines were of his own inditing and composure yet I question not if the words were not but the sense was his own and his heart was in them He writ also a Letter to his Wife see p. 11 12. and another for his Child as I have been told which he never saw it being but about three quarters old for its use if the Lord should let it live and give it understanding He leaveth a paper also for others that may read it wherein he seems to be much affected with the sorrow and sufferings of Christ and prays that God would take away our stony hearts and give us to consider what he suffered for us Thou saith he whose property it is to have mercy hear and have compassion We commit our hearts unto Thee our God And let us as he addeth O my Friends take that due care to bring forth fruits that are meet for Repentance Matth. 3.8 The foundation of a holy life is true Repentance and where that is we may believe there is remission of sins and eternal life succeeds O then let us not put off our Repentance from day to day for to morrow is none of ours O let us repent to day for the day is at hand when we must render an account not only for one day but for our whole life Let us truly call upon God that he would turn his face from our sins and pray unto him that our sins may depart from us For sin is the distemper of the Soul which moved David to cry out Heal my Soul for I have sinned against thee Psal 41.4 Let us call upon God that he would not cast us away from his presence but restore unto us the joy of his salvation Psal 51.12 O let us not count calamity and punishment evil for many times good proceedeth from them Nay they may be called good because they are God's Messengers and proceed from him who is the Fountain of all good Moreover they lead us unto the chiefest Happiness which is life everlasting For Christ by his Passion entred into his glory and Christians by tribulation enter into the Kingdom of God Acts 14.22 O then let us count nothing evil but sin because it draws us from that which is good The Sinner is accused by his Conscience which he hath defiled by his Creator whom he hath offended and by the sins he hath committed Let us beg of God that he would grant us Grace to repent and endeavour to make our Calling and Election sure My Friends I leave these Lines behind me heartily desiring you to avoid all sin and to avoid Lying which I believe to be the fore-runner of other sins Solomon bids us Prov. 23.23 buy the Truth but doth not tell us what it must cost because we must get it tho' it be never so dear We must love Truth both shining and scorching Thus he writes and thus he spent part of that space of time given him for Repentance and owned scorching Truth in a free confession of those Crimes which he knew would cost him his life He admonished such as came to see him to take heed of Lying and Sabbath-breaking and let him saith he that standeth take heed lest he fall For I little thought or intended to commit those grievous Crimes I am guilty of half an hour before the commission of them And then he burst out into tears He was frequent in Prayer with Thanksgiving I do confess saith he it might be but Justice in thee to damn my Soul but O Lord I pray thee in Justice remember Mercy and in thine Infinite Mercy pardon me 'T is dreadful to lose the Body but O how much dreadful to lose the Soul to all Eternity Let my Soul praise thy Name for what thou hast done for me For I hope and do believe thou hast been at work upon my Soul in helping me to repent for which I give thee hearty thanks and am desirous to be most humble under the sense of my sins for they are very dreadful to me As he prayed so his prayers were mixed with Faithand a humble confidence He would tell me he had comfort in God upon his praying He often found the Lord ready to give what he asked and more ready to receive the contrite in heart into favour as he acknowledged then they to offer themselves by unfeigned Repentance Prayer was the employ in which he spent much of his time and he heartily desired the earnest prayers of Ministers and all good and pious Christians that he might grow more and more in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and many were put up for him The great mercies of God made his heart glad and the Company of those who came to instruct and help him forward in the way of Life was very acceptable to him and he would entreat them to come again and not leave him while he was in the Land of the Living His words were but few but his ingenious Confession and meek Conversation and his Works that declared his unfeigned Repentance won the hearts of many to him His Wife told me he writ twice a week to her In his last Letter to her he writeth thus My Dear Love THIS being the last Letter that ever I shall write I write to you to look to your Eternal Stat aend to prepare for it before it be too late which is my hearty prayer to Almighty God that you should so do and that you may not be found as some I once read of who cryed out O miserable Souls that we are How hath sin and the world blinded and bewitched us that we could not see our condition before it was too late God hath kept me in the thoughts of death for some time Once I thought my self just at the Graves side but he that laid me down was pleased to lift me up again But now he seems to be speedily finishing my days to whom through the infinite mercy of Jesus Christ I call with some comfort and boldness saying Come Lord Jesus come quickly And so farewel my Friends and Relations farewel eating and drinking and I hope within a few days to say Farewel sin and sinning And My dear I commend you and my poor Babe to him who hath promised To be a Father to the Fatherless and to plead the cause of the Widow And so I earnestly desire you to