from our sence and sight I knew I had offended but I knew not that I had so highly offended I thought thou diddest see my sinnes but I did little thinke that thou haddest taken such speciall and exact notice of them as to send an Herald or extraordinary Ambassadour of purpose to challenge and reproue me for them and to rowze me out of my sound sleepe and snorting security in them It was thy great mercy O God to send a Prophet to check admonish and correct mee and it is of thy gracious goodnesse that crosses which are thy Messengers for that purpose afflictions of body or mind outward or inward one or other are ordinarily laid vpon thy children to make them know themselues and by knowing themselues to know thee and by knowing to loue thee and by louing thee to bee beloued of thee This is that golden chaine euery linke whereof is fastened within another whereby a man is tyed and nexed to thee this is that Ladder of Iacob by which thou descendest to him and hee ascends to thee None is so dangerously sicke as hee that doth not finde and feele himselfe to be sicke I know mine own maladies and therefore resort to thee the great Physicion to be eased and cured therof It is in vaine to seeke health and helpe vnlesse I lay open my wounds and discouer the malignity of my disease which is morbus complicatus as the Physicions terme it not a simple or single but a compound disease wherein many diseases are folded and wrapped together so as if there be not extraordinary care taken to apply somewhat to each ill affected part respectiuely I may soone come ad diliquium animae to the fainting and failing of my spirituall life I know my sinnes in the plurall number which albeit they flowed from one and the same fountaine yet ranne they into diuers streames for as much as to my adultery I added both trechery and murder neither did I betray and expose to slaughter one man alone or a few persons but a whole band and troope of men fighting in mine owne quarrell and in defence of thy Church Wherefore it is not without cause that in one grosse body of sinne I represent vnto my selfe many seuerall branches and kindes of sinne by multiplication and seuer it into sundry parts by diuision He that knowes his sin knowes himselfe which the Heathens held to be a diuine lesson and most profitable instruction For what can hee vnderstand that knowes himselfe but that the imaginations of his heart the words of his mouth the workes of his hands are euill onely and wicked continually On the other part he is not a sinner onely that is one that hath sinne in him and somewhat also besides sinne but hee is a great lumpe and intire masse of sinne nothing but sinne that doth not know himselfe to bee a sinner and that hee hath committed many and manifold sinnes Hee that knowes himselfe and his sinnes cannot but displease himselfe and thereby please thee as also he that neither knows himselfe nor his sins may haply please himselfe but he cannot possibly but displease thee Hee knowes his owne sinne as is fitting who is sorry for it and displeased with it he that is readie to abide Gods chastisement and mans reprofe for his amendmēt he that resolues for the time comming to auoid sin and all occasions of sinning who seriously considers what the malignity of sin is of what good things it bereaues him to what penalties it makes him liable how venemous 〈◊〉 poison of it is at home how contagious the example of it is abroade Thou hast giuen me O Lord the knowledge of thy Law and by the knowledge of thy Law the knowledge of my sinne For that which is right and straight doth both shew it selfe and that which is crooked also But if thy written Law were silent and dumbe and did conceale it selfe or my sinnes from me yet thy vnwritten Law grauen in euery mans heart both Iew and Gentile doth accuse me so oft as I transgresse the limits thereof and leaue me without excuse Mine owne conscience cryes alowde and layes wide open before mine eyes the Booke wherein my enormous sinnes are 〈◊〉 in capitall Characters so that I may runne and read them It stands Centinell in the watch-towre of my soule and doth keepe me waking when my sence or sensuality would faine be sleeping it doth restlesly rayse and rowze my dull and dead spirits out of the deepe dungeon and spirituall Lethargie of carnall security The true fence and full knowledge of my sinnes makes me so anxious and ardent in begging pardon because I cannot rest till I haue made my peace and wrought my reconciliation with thee The extremity of my danger and distresse doth cause mee incessantly to importune thee for reliefe and remedy and my strong hope is that this force will not be displeasing to thy tender mercy My sinne is euer before me I doe not onely know and vnderstand my sinnes and there leaue the matter I doe not vpon a bare enumeration and cogitation of them cast them carelesly behind my back but I muster them before my conscience daily I behold them as in a Table set before mine eyes continually that vpon sight of the vglines of them I may be humbled and cast downe of the terror and horror of them I may tremble and quake for feare of the basenesse and filthinesse of them I may loath them my selfe for them For sinnes committed being truly felt and liuely represented to the conscience like furies or ghosts of hell fright their beholders away with their vgly shapes deformed forms Sinne is of that ill nature and condition that it will cast him that hath done it in the teeth as they say it will lye vpon the conscience as vnsauory oyle floates vpon the stomacke it will neither bee disgorged nor digested Thou toldest Cain If thou dost euill sin lies at the dore it is restles it will not be stil it wil not keep house it wil not hide it selfe in a corner of the heart it will lye in the way so as thou canst neither come in nor goe forth but thou must needs stumble vpon it A sinner is fitly resembled to a dreamer not only because the pleasure of sinne doth quickly and lightly vanish away like a shadow or dreame but also because the shapes and formes of his day-sinnes doe represent themselues to him in the night the pleasurable actions thereof for the time doe beget hideous apparitions afterwards On the other part a sinners conscience is like a graue that casts vp the earth againe as fast as hee casteth it in It is a graue euer open though hee cloze it neuer so often It is reported of the Indian Bracmanni that to the end they might still be occasioned to thinke of their end they kept their graues ready digged and alwaies open before their
distressed soule Wash mee wash mee againe and againe or wash me throughly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sinne As my sinnes being in nature of debts are registred in thy book and set vpon thy score so like spots and staynes they blemish and deface the Image of thy diuine nature ingrauen in my soule at the Creation of it in such sort as thou canst hardly discerne it to be thy workemanship and therefore I intreate thee to wash me often and throughly that I may appeare cleane and holy in thy pure and piercing eyes There is nothing so pure O Lord as thou art in thy diuine nature nothing so foule as I am by naturall and actuall corruption Wherefore I thinke nothing too much to bring the most defiled thing on earth to the 〈◊〉 Essence in heauen and that makes me to beg againe and againe that thou wilt wash me againe and againe Sinne is filthy to thinke of more filthy to speake and heare of most filthy to act and commit there is nothing in it or any part or passage of it but vilenesse basenesse and filthinesse All the washings in thy Leuiticall Law were types and figures of this Spirituall washing in the blood of the Lambe slaine from the beginning of the world Wash me O Lord with the water of thy grace with that water whereof whoso drinketh shall neuer thirst wash mee with the water of mine owne teares with the water of thy Word with the water of thy Sacraments I know O Lord that vnlesse thou wash mee I can haue no part or portion in the. e Wherefore I beseech thee to wash not my feete onely but my head also and all the parts and members of my body yea to rince and scowre my soule and all the powers and faculties thereof that I may present both soule and body an holy and acceptable sacrifice vnto thee It is thy blessed busines O Christ to 〈◊〉 me in this worlde that thou maist render me spotlesse to thy Father in another world I sinne daily and therefore had neede of daily washing I sinne continually and therfore had 〈◊〉 of continuall washing for the word including a multiplication of washing doth imply a multiplication of sinning For if my soule lothing the filth and mire wherewith shee hath soiled her selfe euen to vglinesse take a course by the teares of contrition for the cleane washing of her face how soone doth the old dirt of sinne spurt into her visage againe So that the businesse of the soule in this life if it be a life of repentance is neuer at an end being indeed nothing else but the washing of that which is foule and the fouling of that which was washed There be as it is reported in the story of nature certain flying fishes whose wings by flying waxe dry and being dry lose their flying so as they must euer and anon returne to the Sea by the moisture thereof to enable their flight againe Euen so my soule washed in the lauer of regeneration and mounting vp towards heauen through this wicked world her wings euen her best purposes cogitations and conceptions easily grow dry by the contagion of earthly conuersation vnlesse they bee often bathed and moistened in the waters of repentance to carry her thorow to her iournies end So then my case and condition is such as in regard of many sports howerly falling and deepely staining my ill fauoured and disfigured Soule 〈◊〉 haue iust cause to pray earnestly that I may bee both often and throughly washed and by thee who canst alone make me cleane and clense me from my sinnes As I haue a great debt to be discharged much filthinesse to bee washed so haue I a loathsome Leprosie of sinne to be clensed wherefore I pray thee O Lord to clense mee from from my sinnes This Leprosie and the cure of it were shadowed out and figured also by sundry purgations clensings in thy Leuiticall law all poynting to that blood of the Lambe whereby my sinnes are purged The Leprosie as Physiicans tell vs is an hereditary disease descending from the Father to the Child An ignominious and odious disease banishing the Leper from all company a contagious disease spreading from man to man 〈◊〉 then the Plague a dull and stupid disease that makes him insensible altogether and a dangerous or rather desperate disease 〈◊〉 or not at all to be cured In all which 〈◊〉 sinne may fitly bee resembled to a 〈◊〉 for sinne comes by propagation from our first Parents to all their posterity It separates vs from thy presence from the company of thy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of Angels and all good men It infecteth others and poyloneth not onely with the breath but with the sight of it too It benums vs so as wee feele not thy fearefull iudgements It is vtterly incurable otherwise then by the blood of the Lambe It hath been obserued that the teares of a Vine when it bleedes are a very good medicine for curing of the bodily Leprosie 〈◊〉 so the teares of the heart 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and lies lowe as doth 〈◊〉 Vine that 〈◊〉 and mournes in humility for sinne auaile much to 〈◊〉 clensing of this Leprosie of the soule My sinne as a Leprosie doth ouerspread both my soule and body from the crowne of the head to the sole of the foote from the highest faculty of my vnderstanding to the lowest affection of my will there is no sound part in mee my disease is growne to the height to full ripenesse or rather foule rottennesse it hath put out the scabbe as they say by enormious and scandalous actions Wherefore I beseech thee who art the prime and soueraigne Physician to looke vpon me with the eye of pitty and to clense and cure mee of my Leprous sinne and sinfull Leprosie 2. I know mine owne wickednesse and my sinne is euer before me or my sinne is euer against me BEfore the Prophet Nathan was sent as a speciall Bailife to summon me by a writ ad meliùs inquirendum I cast mine eye carelesly I did not fixe it fully I looked slightly and superficially as in passage not sadly and mournefully vpon my grieuous sins I did not behold them so seriously as I ought to haue done I saw but the Epitome or grosse summe of them I did not viewe them in the large volume written at length or rathere painted out as now they are in their true shapes and colours Euery man by the light of nature must needs see somewhat of this kinde in the glasse of his owne conscience but through the corruption of nature no man is willing to take a perfect suruay and make a full portraiture of his own transgressions There is in man an affected ignorance and blindnesse in this behalfe and who so blinde as he that will not see who so ignorant as hee that will not know As wee put off the euill day so long as we can so we put by the euill obiect so farre as wee may
degree then I did because he wittingly propounds an vnwarrantable precedent to warrant his wickednesse wheras I fell only through frailety without alleadging or thinking of any such pretence or patterne I will tell them that Nathan the Prophet was sent to rowze me out of security but I am sent as a Prophet to raise them to repentance and to rescue them from 〈◊〉 I will aduise them that are prone to 〈◊〉 God his bundant mercy to heare 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 with 〈◊〉 to heare 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 with me to heare me wayling and weeping and to ioyne their teares 〈◊〉 mine to heare me reformed and to reioyce with mee that howsoeuer 〈◊〉 could not stay the current of their own sins they stop not the 〈◊〉 of Gods mercy 〈◊〉 they haue sinned that howsoeuer they could not bar sin from entring in they exclude not hope of pardon out of the doores of their sinfull soules Hast thou sinned Repent Hast thou sinned a thousand times wretchedly Repent a thousand times vnfainedly This is the onely Oyle that may be powred into thy wounded soule and afflicted conscience to reuiue and refresh it at all times This soueraigne salue is of power to cure and recouer thy most incurable and desperate sores and diseases of sinne yea if thou be vpon thy death-bed and ready to breathe out thy soule and spirit euen at the last gaspe feare not to repent for that Gods mercy is not restrained either by the enormity of Crime or extremity of time and for that betweene the bridge and the brooke as they say when thou art falne from the one and not falne into the other Gods grace may interuene to saue thee from downing Howbeit let not this ftrong water and most comfortable Cordiall of the teares of repentance make thee negligent to delay thy conuersion to God both because repentance will not come at thy becke and call being by custome habituated in sinne and because also though true repentance be neuer too late yet late repentance is seldome true and such as it should be but let it onely reuiue and animate thy confidence in Gods bottomlesse mercy if and when thou art in the greatest straights and come to the last exigent to preserue thee from vtterly fainting and falling into the deadly swoone of desperation The impious persons or sinners shall bee conuerted vnto thee I doe not I may not say I will conuert sinners vnto thee for conuersion of sinners is a peculiar belonging to thine owne Iurisdiction a case reserued to thy power alone a branch of thy Prerogatiue and honour which thou wilt not impart to any other Well I may plant by my instructions and admonitions I may water by my practice and example but it is the influence of thy grace that must giue the increase I will by the assistance of thy Spirit do my best and vttermost indeauour with fidelity and diligence ministerially to helpe and co-operate with thee the prime Agent and principall Efficient in this most difficult and important affaire for a greater businesse it is to regenerate then to create to build a new house vpon a false and rotten foundation then it was to erect the first Fabricke And I hold my selfe the more obliged to this seruice because I haue not only scandalized thine owne people the Iewes by my heathenish iniquities but I haue caused thy holy name to be blasphemed among the Gentiles also for mee thinkes I heare thine own people whispering and murmuring among themselues in this sort If this King and Prophet did beleeue what hee pretends and professes his behauiour would be sutable to his beliefe his actions answerable to his profession his words and deeds would better tune together and not make such a harsh discord as they doe Surely sithence workes are surer testimonies then words of our hearts affections we may iustly conceiue that hee vseth Religion only as a stalking horse to serue the turne for policie and worldly respects that he thinkes and sayes in his hart though not with his mouth There is no God The Gentiles on the other side who are Aliens from God his couenant strangers to the Common-wealth of Israel me thinks I heare them boldly and broadly speaking to this effect That King that seekes by all meanes both of prowesse policie to reduce vs vnder his obedience to the worship of his God and the embracing of his Religion we see how hee carries himselfe wee can discerne by our light that he violates the law of nature imprinted in all mens harts that he shamelesly defiles the beds of his Subiects and kills them cruelly and treacherously at his pleasure to attaine his lustfull desires Wee will be still irreligious rather of no religion then his religion wee will submit our selues to any Princes yoke we will fall into any mans hands rather thē his To make amends for these faults and to repaire these ruines I will teach at home and abroad Iewes and Gentiles such as erre either in Religion or conuersation the wayes of God and godlinesse by instruction by discipline by example what hath fallen to the ground by my euill I will build vp again by my good demeanour my light shall so shine before Domestickes Forreigners before mine owne Subiects and before others both Princes people as they shall glorifie the God of Israel they shall beleeue and say Great is the Lord and worthy to be serued aboue all gods Blessed is the Lord euen the God of Israel for euer 14 Deliuer me from bloud 〈◊〉 O Lord thou that art the God of my saluation AMong all my sinnes which are sans number many of them heinous in their quality this horrible and crying sinne of murder lyeth heauiest vpon my distressed soule in the generall muster of my sinnes the shedding of so much innocent bloud makes the most fearefull and hideous apparition to my tormented conscience In regard whereof I cry out Deliuer me not from bloud but from blouds in the plurall number I begged first indefinitely that God would clense me from mine iniquities then that hee would blot out all my transgressions vniuersally I presented and iterated this petition in humility and faith knowing that my prayers if they were not so accompanied could not preuaile Howbeit because this sinne seemes so enormous so exorbitant that it can hardly be comprized and inuolued in the generality of all my sinnes I send vp a single petition as a speciall messenger for more surety in no other errand but to sollicite at the Court of Heauen that this grieuous this bloudy sinne may be not onely necessarily implyed and infolded but expressely named and specified in my generall and gracious pardon Thou diddest in thy Leuiticall Law forbid thy people to eate any flesh with the bloud thereof whatsoeuer soule eateth any manner of bloud of Fowle or Beast that soule shall be cut off from the people that thou mightest make them so much the