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A14992 A care-cloth: or a treatise of the cumbers and troubles of marriage intended to aduise them that may, to shun them; that may not, well and patiently to beare them. By William Whately, preacher of the word of God in Banbury, in Oxfordshire. Whately, William, 1583-1639. 1624 (1624) STC 25299; ESTC S107622 140,887 282

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God forgiuing his sinnes may enioy his libertie and the comfort of the creature And that is sanctified by thanksgiuing for which the vser taking notice of Gods goodnesse and wisdome and other excellencies doth returne the tribute of prayse vnto him ascribing all honour and greatnesse to him as to the fountaine of all comfort Now seeing he that is married hath not sinned in marrying let him sanctifie this lawfull ordinance vnto himselfe that hee may bee sure to find the blessing of God vpon it and vpon himselfe A man may truly say He that eateth sinneth not yet if any man eate profanely not considering that God hath vouchsafed him the freedome of partaking in his benefits not praying God for his blessing nor returning prayse vnto him for his goodnesse he shall sinne in so eating The like must needs bee said of marriage which being a lawfull ordinance is much abused if it bee not vsed as all lawfull things should in an holy manner for sinlesse things vnsanctified doe become sinnes And this is the rather to be pressed vpon mens consciences because the neglect of it is very dangerous causing matrimony to be ineffectual for its proper ends for want of Gods blessing which how can we haue if wee doe not craue it A profane and licentious taking of good things at Gods hand doth as much offend him as wee are offended at the rude and vnmannerly behauiour of our seruants when they come to receiue a good turne or gift from our hands whereby wee are caused so to giue them the thing as that wee doe also sharpely rebuke them for their vndecent carriage Things are not truly comfortable to the soule neither doe they afford that spirituall fruit to a mans heart which else they would when his heart is so carnall that he regardeth not to vse them spiritually If marriage be loosely vsed it will dispose a man to more loosenesse and inflame those passions which it should quench it will breed a sacietie and dislike of each other in the married and make their affections to straggle so as they would rather accept of strangers then themselues If marriage bee holily vsed it will indeare the yoke-fellowes each to other it will keepe their desires in order and cause that they shall be well satisfied each in other as in Gods gifts Neither can there bee any one truer reason rendred of the little good affection that passeth betwixt many husbands and wiues and of the little comfort they take each in other then because they abuse Gods ordinance and why should he blesse it Let it therefore bee obserued by all those that would keepe a good conscience in all things and doe desire to approue themselues honourers and fearers of God in their verie soules that as wel marriage as food must be made lawfull and profitable to them by the Word and Prayer And let it be also further vrged vpon the conscience of the married that which nature it selfe will teach them that seeing the Lord is pleased to allow them marriage they should obediently accept of his allowance and not imbolden themselues for their filthy lusts sake to take forbidden pleasures If God hauing planted in man that naturall inclination which hee hath planted for the increase of the world should haue debarred him matrimonie it had been doubtlesse an vniust rigor in God and would haue much extenuate mans offences in that kind but when he hath giuen an husband and a wife each to other and commanded them to leaue all others and cleaue vnto themselues now what excuse haue they to alleage for their sinne Therefore let all married persons resolue to liue chastly else shall the lawfulnesse of matrimonie extremely aggrauate the sinfulnesse of their impuritie for why shouldst not thou O man be satisfied with thine owne wife and thou O woman with thine owne husband By taking Gods gift in marriage thou neither rebellest against him nor woundest thy conscience nor defilest another nor pollutest thy selfe nor breakest thy couenant nor wrongest thy family nor transgressest the Lawes of men nor dishonestest thy name nor procurest any other euill But in imbracing a stranger thou bringest infamie one thy name a curse vpon thy posteritie a sinne vpon thy soule and wronges at once God the Church the Commonweale thy yoke-fellow thy selfe and many others moe Ah why should a foolish and vnreasonable fancy so farre transport a man that hath vnderstanding as when the Lord affords him an honest lawfull blamelesse harmelesse content he should neglect that and preferre before it a reprochful dishonest wicked and banefull pleasure As if a man seeing two cups of wine and know the one to bee wholesome and vnmixed should let that stand still and drinke of another which himselfe did know to be poysoned alone because the cup perhaps that contained the poyson were finelier wrought on the out-side Or as if a man hauing sufficient store of money in his owne thest would not make vse of that to buy necessaries but goe and rob for it by the high-way side that he might spend another mans money The adulterer is a needlesse thiefe to whom it is no reason that any fauour should be shewed He may be compared to the man that hauing stoe of Deere in his owne Parke would yet needs steale a Buck out of his neighbours ground because hee was so follish as to glorie in his shame and to bragge that hee durst steale one What pitie could a man shew to such an one if either he should miscarry in his stealing or bee seuerely punished for his stealing So the adulterer that hauing a lawfull wife at home shall giue his vnlawfull lusts scope to range abroad to the wines or daughters of other men is worthie all sharpenesse of punishment as a man that hath hearkened to the oration of foolish folly which perswades her guests saying Stolne waters are sweete and hidden bread is pleasant But farre farre be it from any Christian man or woman to poison and destroy themselues with such pleasant bread or sweete waters The pleasures of filthinesse are like the bread of deceite which giueth a delightful rellish in the mouth but is nothing else but verie grauell in the belly Thou hast solemnely promised before God the Angels and the Church that forsaking all other thou wilt keepe thee onely to thine owne yoke-fellow Seeing God hath allowed thee this comfort wallow not sinfully in forbidden pleasures And for the lawfulnesse of marriage so much I come now to speake of its troublesomnesse which few will beleeue till they find and few can beare when they haue found CHAP. VIII Containing the third point Doct. 3 HEare then what the Apostle foretelleth to you that wil marrie Such shal haue trouble in the flesh First in their whole outward estate Whosoeuer marries must looke for more trouble and aduersitie then in single estate Marke all and bee perswaded for it Paul were not deceiued you shall all find it true The married estate is more encumbred
heare that contradicted and the contrary maintained Thirdly Hearken to all such distinctions and limitations as haue ground and warrant out of Scripture for as the cause of licentiousnesse is for the most part a boldnesse to frame distinctions or limitations without ground from the written Word so scrupulousnesse doth commonly arise from hence that men either heed not or will not yeeld vnto those distinctions and limitations which God himselfe hath led vs vnto in his Word Fourthly let nothing be counted a sin which Scripture doth not condemne as a sinne and what the Word the rule of truth and falsehood doth not shew vs to be vnlawfull that let vs hold to be lawfull Safely may one conclude in all manner of actions I will take that as warrantable against which I find nothing written Yea verily it is more then a probable reason the Word of God hath left a thing in such doubtful sort that many godly vertuous and learned men doe thinke it lawfull and therefore I will incline rather to thinke it lawfull then otherwise for hardly would it stand with Gods goodnes to leaue sinnes so doubtfully discouered as that wise and godly men when the matter commeth to discussing should not be able to see the sinfulnesse thereof Fifthly beware of suffering preiudice example humour to sway you in iudging the lawfulnesse or vnlawfulnesse of things Bee ready in matters controuerted to change opinions to thinke otherwise then thou hast thought otherwise then thou hast been long knowne to think otherwise then men of great esteeme with thy selfe haue thought and beware that choller and melancholy doe not dazle thine eyes and to that end if thou beest inclined to either of these humours bee afraid of them and yeeld lesse to thine authoritie because of them for stiffenesse in opinions a fruit commonly of the three forenamed things is nothing praise-worthy Constancy in expresse truths is a notable vertue peremptorinesse in matters not plainely reuealed is a vice and not a vertue And these be fiue generall Rules which will conduce much to the true freedome of the iudgement I will adde as many more speciall Rules which are these Firt 2. Speciall example of good men in Scripture doe not bind conscience but onely supposing them not contradictorie to precepts warrant it they doe not make a thing needfull or sinfull but alone declare it indifferent and lawfull so what I can shew some godly man in Scripture to haue done before me no precept being for or against it that not I must doe or else I sinne but I may doe without sinne Abraham made a great feast at the weaning of Isaac yet is no father bound so to doe though any wealthy father may doe so if he please Our Sauiour being inuited to a Wedding feast did goe to it yet is no man tyed to doe so but alone allowed When our Sauiour preached solemnely in the Synagogue at Nazareth it is noted that he stood vp to reade opened the booke read the portion of Scripture out of the booke which he minded to speake of then shut the booke againe and sate downe and spake vnto them yet to these particularities is no mans conscience bound in preaching but hee may if he will sit in reading his Text or if hee will he may say it without booke and not reade it and may stand vp and interpret and apply it So in many other particulars In this case the Scriptures are cleare Rom. 3.20 4.15 By the Law commeth the knowledge of sinne And againe Where there is no Law there is no sinne Now the Law is a commandement of some person that hath power to command and not an action of any man vnder authority This rule is of admirable vse in iudging of things for many a man doth clog vp his conscience by binding himselfe to meere examples 1. Cor. 15.56 whereas the strength of sinne is the Law Secondly humane inuentions are not therefore vnlawfull in the formes order circumstances solemnitie of Diuine Seruice or worship because they are meere humane inuentions vnlesse in some other respect some sinfulnesse bee found in them no nor though some kind of signification bee aimed at in them For example In some Churches I haue seene a Flowre set vp by the houre-glasse on the Pulpit to expresse this conceite that the preaching of the Word is euen the Flowre of the place yet cannot thinke any man so scrupulous as to thinke it vnlawfull In other Churches hath a Lanthorne been fairely ingrauen ouer the Pulpit with this word aboue Thy Word is a Lanthorne to my feete yet I hope no sinne committed In most Churches of great Townes you shall see the Bible held vp with an Eagle no question at the first this was done to expresse some conceite of Gods carrying his Word vpon Eagles wings yet I neuer heard man that found fault with that Image in the seruice of God So in swearing wee vse to lay our hands vpon the Bible and to kisse the Bible in token of that reuerence we owe to him by whom we sweare according to the contents of that Booke yet no man that I know hath picked a quarrell with this vsage although an oath be well knowne to be a worthy seruice of God if it be duly performed So you may note a solemnitie in swearing vsed by Abraham and Iacob of putting the hand vnder the thigh So there was a solemnitie accustomed in reading the Law Nehem. 8.5 6. which the Law it selfe did neuer prescribe For when the Priest opened the booke all the people stood vp then did Ezra blesse God with a loud voyce then did the people bow downe their heads and worship surely such standing vp such blessing such bowing downe is no where commanded in the bookes of Moses neither any where else yet no man will say they were sinfull So had the Iewes Synagogues in their Cities and portions to be read out of the Law and Prophets some on such a day some on such a day yet for these the Law taketh none order at all neither for all that did the Iewes sinne in hauing Synagogues and the Word in such order read in them So in the manner of celebrating the Passeouer the Iewes had diuers orders by name these first that they should neither stand nor sit vpright but lie along vpon beds to signifie their present securitie that eate it at leasure not in haste as at the first secondly that the Master of the feast in the end of the Supper should take a loafe and break it and blesse them distribute to all those that were present and also should take Wine and blesse and distribute to al that were present thirdly to wash their feet in that supper fourthly to sing an Hymne with some others Now our Sauiour Christ did vse all these rites and from one of them tooke occasion to institute his last Supper our holy Sacrament and yet none of all these is prescribed or mentioned in the Law
to say Who can say his heart is free And he shall but deceiue himselfe that saith he hath no sinne CHAP. VII Shewing the naturall meanes of Mortification YOu haue heard how much you must needs do in this matter as also how very much you may doe if you bee not carelesse and slothfull Now let me shew you by what meanes both these degrees must be attained and a godly man must passe forward from the former to the latter The meanes of mortification are of two sorts some naturall some spirituall and both are requisite if wee purpose to kill our lusts the former must make the latter more effectuall and be helpfull to our good successe in them Moderation in things indifferent a meanes of mortifying sin The one is moderation in the vse of naturall delights and contents The other discretion in the shunning of outward occasions of euill though the things in themselues bee not euill 2. For the first hee that is not moderate in things indifferent can neuer preuaile against his lusts to any purpose for at the excesse of these lawfull things doe our naturall corruptions begin to take aduantage and to feed themselues and to gather head He that will hold vnder his lusts therefore and put them to death must bee sparing in meate drinke attire sports and must euen cut himselfe shorter in many of these things then that which he perswadeth himselfe and perhaps also truly that he might lawfully doe euen of purpose to keepe himselfe that hee may not bee brought vnder the power of any thing as the Apostle speaketh We must learne of the Apostle himselfe this meanes for he telleth vs that hee did keepe vnder his body 1. Cor. 6.12 1. Cor. 9. last and bring it in subiection The corruptions of the soule finde great furtherance from the humours of the body as a man doth find from a good and fit toole or instrument we must keep the tooles of sinne dull as I may so speake that sinne it selfe may doe vs lesse harme by its working If the body be still humored and pampered by letting it haue all the ease fine fare gay attire sensuall pleasures and pastimes that it wisheth and that a man can make to appeare lawful and warrantable it will not bee kept in subiection it will not be held in order We are therefore in these thins to call vpon our selues to bee very temperate Be a little more meane in thy garments then thou thinkest it absolutely needfull to be vse a little lesse liberty in games and pastimes then thou conceiuest that in strictnesse of conscience thou oughtest to doe So I say for fare ease sleepe If thou dost not from the vtmost confines of lawfull liberty there is but a small step to the border of vnlawfull delights and soone maist thou be drawn to step that step and when thou hast once transgressed thou shalt finde it hard to come into the right way againe He that goes in a riuer where he knowes that a deepe pit is will not come so close to it as hee may but by keeping himselfe vpon sure ground a good way off will bee sure to saue himselfe from being ouerwhelmed therein It is much more safe in things of this nature to keepe our selues a good deale within compasse then to stand vpon the edge of our liberty as I may so speake By abridging our selues of some thing that we are allowed wee cannot likely receiue any hurt by taking all that is allowed we may soone slip into excesse and well-neere mischiefe our selues and by doing all we may doe so ingage our selues to our affections that they will carry vs away to that wee should not doe Austerenesse is not necessary to mortification moderation is To goe wooll-ward or in haire-cloth is a foolish destroying of the body to go in lesse costly attire then one might is a due keeping vnder of the body To make ones selfe leane and wanne with fasting is to tyrannize ouer ones selfe to fare lesse delicately and eate lesse liberally for the most part then one might is to preuent the aduantages of sinne in the body The hypocrite often doth place all his mortification in being cruel to his body wherfore he keepes no measure this way and because it is a thing much looked after and easily seene it is a fit thing for an hypocrite to beguile both the world and himselfe withall The godly man doth make his abridging of the body a furtherance to the cutting off of his lusts wherefore he is not excessiue in his rigour to his body nor will offer violence to nature but alone deny her that which shee may well spare and scants and mints himselfe in the vse of his liberty not as not knowing it but as knowing how easie it is to abuse it and by abusing to take harme And thus by keeping his body in order hee findes it more easie to keepe the minde in frame also which doth much make vse of and as some thinke follow the temperature of the body And let any man vnder heauen be so wise as to obserue himselfe and he shall finde that vnlesse he deny himselfe some lawfull liberty he shall quickly grow sensuall and sensuality is an enemie to mortification 3. A second naturall meanes of mortification is a careful shunning of the occasions of sin Shunning the occasions of sin necessary to mortification Opportunity of time place company and the like doth greatly incense and prouoke corruption and he that will not for euery man in this matter because it is but naturall can if he will denie himselfe in such things can neuer preuaile against his corruptions He hath not gone yet so farre as nature may goe and how then should he looke to finde the helpe of grace The withdrawing of a mans selfe from these things is a pulling of the fuell from the fire and then it wil surely goe out The aduenturing vpon these things doth blow the coles and administer fuell also and then must sinne of necessity both burne and flame In these occasions the sences haue strong allurements offered vnto them and they be vehement in their workings burying the vnderstanding for a time and captiuating the thoughts to their present pleasing obiects so that a man can thinke of no good thing that may serue to resist bad desires and when the soule is so disarmed how should sinne but preuaile against it He that doth thus hazard himselfe thrusts himselfe out of Gods protection for he walketh not in his owne place therefore he can looke for nothing but ruine Satan assureth himselfe of victorie when hee sees men so carelesse of themselues and so becomes vehement in tempting as hope of successe incourageth euery one to labour and then how soone is a man foyled Indeed the heart hath giuen a secret consent to the desire of euill doing so soone as euer it consents to aduenture vpon the occasions of euill doing and it is but the very guile and dissimulation