with loosenes the way to lewdnes with weaknes the way to strange vanities with wantonnes the way to open wickednes is even in the best of Gods Children in the daies of their youth which being afterward in the time of their regeneration brought as it were to judgment and laid before their consciences doth cause them to repent But heere is a thing to be blushed at which maketh mens eares to tingle when they heare it that many men no doubt farre from this true Repentance can largely indeede discourse of the things done in their youth but with such a braverie with such a bosting pleasing of themselues therein as besides that they provoke others to sinne in the like and set a flat back of brasse against Repentance and this Christian examination they seeme to renewe the decaied colours of their old sinne with the fresh sent of their second pleasure therein But alasse what pleasure haue they in those things whereof they haue no profit What profite haue they of those things whereof they should be ashamed neither in this straint can wee forget the madnes of them who may seeme to steppe one degree further towards this examination of sinne than did the former by thinking that the leauing of sin and the repenting of sinne is all one against these both daily experience and the word of God doeth sufficiently declare Iosephs bretheren Iacobs sons who devised evill against their brother put him into the pitte and solde him to strangers did cease from this crueltie but yet are not read to haue remembred their sin with any remorse vntill 13. yeares after this sin was committed as we may see in the processe of the historie David had left his sinnes of murther and adulterie as thinking all quitte and well the space of a whole yeare After which time being admonished of the Prophet Nathan hee repented of it and experience hath tryed in many that haue had some-working of God in them that though they left their sinnes many yeares agoe yet because they repented not truly for them they haue rebounded vpon them with terrible sightes and fearefull visions to humble them and to bring them to a serious examination of them beeing done and lefte long since Examples whereof we need not fetch from farre seing so many Preachers as ar acquainted with fearefull spirites will giue vs witnesse hereof the fruite of which amazed minds for sinnes alredy is ours to beware of sinnes that are to come and that other mens harmes may teach vs blessed wisedome Let vs labour not onely to leaue sinne which one may do for profite for feare for praise or for wearisomnes but also to repent of it for Conscience sake This examination of our sinnes past must be partly of those which we committed before and partlie of those we haue done after our calling every man especiallie hauing his reason reformed by the word of God will graunt an examination of the life before our true knowledge of God in Christ to be most needfull but it may be thought we neede not to be so precise in the searching of those sins which were after our knowledge but seing of al other those sinnes bite the sorest and pearce deepest for that they are aggrauated with all the mercies of God going before and sin is then most sinfull when after we knowe the trueth after we haue bene delivered from sinne after we haue beene enlightned with the good grace of God we haue fallen into it I think that examination most especially is to be had of these sins wherefore to iterate our former examples in a new matter as we may see the former kinde of examining first from sins before our calling in the sonnes of Iacob so wee haue a patterne of the latter in the practise of the Prophet David who at the hearing of his sinne was so troubled in his spirit that he could not rest in the Prophets speach telling him his sinne was forgiuen him but stil was disquieted as one vtterly forsaken of God and as though he could finde no comfort of Gods spirit in him For as it fareth often in sores so also it commeth to passe in sinnes we are loath to haue our woundes often grated on we cannot so well away to haue our sores rifeled seared lanced but fedde with healing salues so we are hardly brought to haue our Consciences seared or our sinnes ransacked sifted and ripped but coulde still haue them plastered with sweet promises and bathed in the mercies of God whereas it is farre safer before incarnatiue healing medicines to vse corasiue and mundifying waters without which though our sores may seeme to close and skinne vp apace yet they proue worse and being rotten still at the core they haue aboue a thinne skinne and vnderneath deade flesh In like maner we would cloak wee would hide and couer our sins as it were with a curtaine but it is more sounde Chirurgery to prick and parch our conscience with the burning yron of the law and to cleanse the wounde of the soule by sharp threatning lest that a skinne pulled over the conscience for a while wee do lament the rotten corruption which remaineth vncured vnderneath and so wee be constrained to crye out that our sinnes openeth As it is a folly then to dissemble our sores whilst they bee curable and after to make them knowne when they be vncurable So it is as great folly to dissemble our sinnes whilest they may be remedied and so after be constrained with shame for to blaze them abrode when they are vnremediable But of this by the way because we shall more largely touch it in the part to come It is sufficient to commit sinne before knowledge but after knowledge to sinne breedeth either hardnesse of heart or a troubled heart both which we shall avoide if in trueth we be carefull to watch our affections and beware after our deliverie wee fall not into sin againe Severall men subject to severall sinnes haue their severall cloggs in their consciences some are overcome with wrath and yet after the moodie sitte they can tell that the wrath of a man doeth accomplish the righteousnes of God Some are subject to lust and afterward they say it profiteth them nothing some are giuen to a continuall course of vanitie whome notwithstanding canne say that mans life hath another end Some sleeping deepe into worldlinesse and yet they be often wakened with terrible checks of Conscience well blessed are they whose heartes are truely grieved with sinne and let them beware that make a daliance with sinne for either hardnesse of heart will overtake them or a troubled Conscience will confounde them Wherefore it oftentimes commeth to passe that many spending of their bodies on lust do lament that euer they so abused their strength many given too much vnto the pleasures of this life haue great griefe and sorrowe comming vpon them to remember howe they haue mispent Gods graces lauished his good giftes and mis-spent their tyme
their enemies with more gredie violence to praye vpon them with which kinde of stratagems our adversarie the Devill beeing well acquainted with often practiseth this pollicie if he seeth vs without all feare too quietly to rest in our selues he thinketh his assault must needes be the stronger because our assistance is the weaker Againe if hee discrieth in vs a cowardlie feare and fainting of heart before wee once begin to joyne battell with him he wil set vpon our moderate feare and as villanouslie as suddenly stabbe vs to the heart and make a present spoile of vs common practise doth further teach vs that when wee can heare the worde without all trembling at Gods judgements when wee can pray without all feare before the Majestie of God when wee can come to the Discipline of the Church without al reverence of the ordinance of the Lord al in vaine Again let vs heare with too much trembling and we shall learne nothing let vs pray with too servile a feare and our woorshipping of God will bee without all comfort vncheerful Thus if we neither lessen sin that is indeede neither make sin of that which is not sin in trueth it is good to proceed to this threefold examination to lay the edge of this doctrine more neere our afflictions because many will be found in this ripenes of knowledge and barrannes of conscience to speak and dispute of all these things very skilfully which flickring in the circumference of the braine not setling at the heart do seale vp a more just sentence of condemnation against them To help this evill with we must meditate deeply vpon the law and Gospell togither with the appertenances of them both that finding our selues far from Gods blessing and seeing our selues neere to the curses due vnto the breakers of the lawe we may raise vppe some sence of sin in our selues yet herein we must not stay but go forward for whereas many by the diligent viewe of the law haue come to the sense of sin in themselues and saw their own condemnation yet because they labored not to see their guiltinesse acquited by the remission of sinne in Christ they plunged in a bottomles sea of sorrowes others having passed those degrees hitherto made these steps to avoid the wound of Conscience haue come short of the mark who besides the sense of sinnes pardoned by the deth of Christ felt not the vertue of his passion crucifying sin in them but saw that with remission of sins was not joined mortification of sin feared that there was no forgiuenes for them but stil languishing with sorrow they thought their soules to stand charged with their former guiltinesse yea and which more is for that such men haue not truly bin instructed nor surely haue bene grounded in the doctrine of Christ his death and resurrection that is for that they sawe not aswell power flowing from his death to sley sinne in them as vertue to pardone sin in them for that they felte not aswell strength vnto sanctification striving from the rising again of Christ as they were perswaded of justification righteousnes therein They haue lyen still bleeding at the heart in such sort that the wound of griefe could hardly or neuer be stopped and stanched wherfore let vs strengthen our weake soules with this sevenfold coard of consolation against these bitter assaults let vs first labour to know sinne then to sorrow for sinne after to feele our sinnes in Christ forgiven farther to looke for power to crucifie the same then to lay holde on Iustification by his Resurrection and lastly hope for strength to proceede from thence to further vs in sanctification and holines of life even vnto the end And thus much briefly for that second thing which we matched in companie with the examination of sinne euen vnto the triall of faith both which rightly vsed shall in some measure fafegarde vs from the trouble of afflicted mindes Now let vs hasten to the third part of our division to shew how Gods children being fallen into this wounde of spirit may be helped out of it which God willing we also wil performe after we haue answered a necessary objection which in this former part might seeme to encounter against vs There is no man but will graunt that David Iacob and others of the saints of God had a sight of their sinnes a sorrow for their sinnes a tast of their remission of sinne and yet how commeth it to passe that these men were so trobled in mind To this I answer that their trouble so befel them either for failing in some of those former things or else they were rather afflicted for the triall of their faith than for the persecuting of sin in them and therfore be it alwaies provided that we think not every conflict of conscience continually chiefly to be for the pursuing of our sins but sometime principally for the scoring of sin as we may see in Iob wherevpon let all men be admonished when as they see good men thus humbled in minde to laye their handes on their mouthes from saying Surely these men are but Hypocrites doubtles these men be great sinners the Lord hath found out their iniquitie the Lord hath discovered their hypocrisie for good reason there is that such silence should be vsed for that the Lord may aswell make triall of their faith as take punishment on their sinnes for if such afflictions should alwaies chieflie be sent for sinne then it should followe that all others as they exceeded them in sinne should also exceed them in that punishment of sinne but nowe comming to the salving of this sore I shal seeme very strange in my cure and so much the more to be wondred at by howe much in manner of proceeding I differ from the most sort of men herein I am not ignorant that many visiting of afflicted consciences cry still Oh! comfort them oh speake joyfull things vnto them yea there be some and that of the learned who in such cases are full of those and such like speeches Why are you so heavy my brother why are you so cast downe my sister be of good cheere take it not so grievouslie what is there that you should feare God is mercifull Christ is a Saviour these be speeches of loue indeed but they often do the poore souls as much good herein as if they should powre colde water in their bosomes when as without farther searching of their sores they may aswell minister a malady as a medicine For as all nutriture and carnall medecines are not good for every sicke person especiallie when the body needeth a strong purgation then to minister matter restoratiue And as all incarnatiue medicines may for a time stay the paine of the patient but afterwardes the griefe becommeth more grievous So comfortable applying of Gods promises are not so profitable for every one that is humbled especially when their soules are rather to be cast farther down than
sorts man or woman â—â— what complexion soever they are of what knowledge to discerne sinne of what degree in committing sin of what age authoritie wealth estate or condition soever they are It is good to mark that there be many who are more troâ—â—led for the vexation and disquietnes of their minde being distempered than for the vilenes and horriblenes of their â—â—nne committed who are wounded more with feare of shame with feare of being madde or with the feare of running out of their wittes than with the conscience of sinne which thing if wee finde in them it is our parte to travell with them that they may make a lesse matter of the outward shame more conscience of the inward sinne neither must we herein forget to make a distinction betwene our speaches vsed to the humbled in the very time of their extreame agonie burning ague of their troubles and those speaches which we vse then the fit being past because the former requireth more consolation lesse exhortation than the other and the latter wold haue vs more abundant in admonishing and more sparing in comforting when wee may wisely admonish them to beware of sinne which so procureth their own woe in this brething time It is also expedient to exhort them that for some season vntill they shall finde greater power in regeneration they would tye themselues to some holy orders godly vowes that thereby they either may be furthered in mortifying some speciall sin which for that they could finde no power against it did most greue them or strenthened in some speciall grace the want whereof did also wounde them but before we launch deep into the sea of particular temptations and begin to sound the dangerous passages of natural corruptions and originall sinne the troublesome froth whereof doth almost ouerwhelme many poore Pilgrimes It shall be good to giue this caution that both in these and in the former trobles men would be stil admonished patientlie to bear with a wounded spirit albeit it falleth out so that they be somewhat pettish seeing the holy Ghost speaketh so favorably of them saying a wounded spirit who can bear it And surely our practise in other things by the law of equitie may vrge this at our handes For if men by the light of reason can see it to be a dutie convenient not frivolouslie to travell but meekly to suffer wisely to put vp vnadvised speaches of a man distempered in braine by reson of some burning ague or other vehement sicknes We may easily gather even by this rule of reason not so severely to sensure the impatient speaches of him who by reason of some parching feavour of the spirit is disquiered in mind and hath all the veines of his hart as it were in a spirituall agonie vexed wherefore both vnsavorie of godly wisedome vncharitable for want of Christian loue are their murmuring obtractations which say What is the godly man Is this hee that is trobled for his sins why see how pettish he is nothing can please him no body can satisfie him Consider O man if thou canst bear with a frail body that thou must much more bear with a fraill mind consider that this his pettishnes doth more wound him to the hart than any injurie thou couldest pearce him with and therefore seeing he afflicteth his own soule for it thou must not adde any thing to his afflictions and to exasperate his smart considder that it is a blessed thing mercifullie to bethink vs of the state of the needy and that to rub a fresh wound and to straine a bleeding sore is nothing else but that which Iobs friendes did to bring a newe torment where there is no neede of it If the wise Father rather doeth pittie than rebuke his child when by reason of sicknes the appetite is not easilie pleased so if wee purpose to do any good with an afflicted mind we must not be austere in reprehending every infirmitie but patient in considering of it as tender frailtie neither do I speake this to nourish pettishnes in any but wold haue them to labour for patience and to seeke for peace which though they finde not at the first yet by praier they must wait on the Lord and say Lord because there is mercie with thee that thou maiest bee feared I will wayte vpon thee as the eye of the servant waiteth vpon the eye of his master I will condemne my selfe of follie and say O my soule why art thou so heavy vvhy art thou so cast downe within me still trust in the Lord for he is thy helpe and thy salvation FINIS Heb. 13. 14 Genes 15. 13. 14. Deut. 29. 14. 15. Mal. 3. 16. Luk. 52. 35 Deut. 32. â— Col. 1. 27. Mat. 28. 18.
judgement of God these things would little comfort vs. Let experience speak if a troubled mynd impaireth not helth dryeth not vp the blood consumeth not the marrowe pyneth not away the fleshe and consumeth the bones if it make not all pleasures painefull and shortneth not the life surely no wisedome can conceale it no counsell can advise it no advise can asswage it no asswagement can cure it no eloquence can perswade it no power can overcome it no scepter will affray it no Enchanter can charme it and yet on the contrary If a man languish in sicknesse so his heart be whole and he is perswaded of the health of his soule his sicknes doth not grieue him If a man be reproched so he be precious in the sight of God and his Angels what losse hath he If a man be banished and yet doubteth not that heaven is his cuntrie and that he is a Citizen among the Saints it doth not appall him If a man be in trouble and findeth peace of Conscience he wil quietly disgest his trouble but if the minde be troubled who dareth meete with the wrath of the Lord of Hostes Who can put to silence the voice of desperation Who wil step out make an agrement with the highest to spare vs Who dare make a covenant with the devill that he would not lay claime to vs If then a good conscience helpeth all evills and all other benefites of this life in them selues cannot help a troubled conscience nor see it true by proofe which heare it by prouerb The spirit of a man will sustaine his infirmitie but a vvounded spirit who can beare it Againe in all other afflictions we may haue some comfort against sin but this is ever accompanied with the accusation of sinne A man may be sick reproched imprisoned and yet in all these haue a cleare conscience his own heart telling him that there is no spirituall cause of these crosses in him but that he may suffer them for the triall of his faith or for righteousnes sake and wel doing but where the spirit is wounded there is still a guiltines of sinne and when a mans spirit is troubled hee suspecteth all his waies hee feareth all his sinnes he knoweth not what sinne to begin with it breedeth such hurlie-burlies in him that when it is day hee wisheth it were night and when it is night he would haue it day his meate doth not nourish him his dreames are fearfull vnto him his sleep often tymes forsaketh him if he speake hee is little eased if hee keepe silence hee boyleth with disquietnes of heart the light doth not comfort him the darknesse doeth grieue him to prosecute our comparison where all other evills are the more tollerable because they be temporall and pursues vs but to death this not being cured endeth not in death but becommeth eternallie for even the Heathen men thought that death was the end of al miseries the perswasion thereof made them being in some miserie to make an end of themselues and hasten their owne death as Sathan doeth make many now adaies to do who are ignorant of the Hells which is a place of far greater paine than any they can suffer in this world whatsoeuer Howbeit a tormented conscience if before it was begun is now continued or if it were not before nowe beginneth and never endeth world without end For though true it is that povertie imprisonment or banishment haue ended their times in death yet a wounded heart which was temporall in this life that which before death was in hope recoverable is after death made both vncurable and vnrecoverable It is good then to considder if even in this life the torment of Conscience bee so fearefull how much more grievous it is to sustaine it in hell where that is infinite which here is finite where that is vnmeasurable which heere is measurable where is the sea of sorrowe whereof this is but a drop where is the flame of that fyre whereof this is but a spark But to shut vp argument some there haue beene that throughout their life time haue beene free from other troubles so as either they felt them not at all or in very smal measure and by that meanes never knewe their head-ache For povertie never knewe what want meant who for discredit were never euill spoken of who ever put farre from them the evill daye of the Lord who haue made a league with death as it were and a covenant with hell who thoght they could crucifie every crosse rather than come vnder any yet they could never escape a wounded conscience either in this life or in the life to come true it is that Gods children by faith and repentance doe oft escape it but the wicked and such as are borne to it as to their sure inheritance the more they flie from it the more it pursueth them If we transgresse the civil lawes the Iudge by bribes may be corrupted If a man haue committed some capital offence by flying his Cuntrie hee may escape the Magistrates hands But our conscience telling vs that we haue sinned against God what bribe shall wee offer or whither shall wee flee where shall we go from his spirite or whither shall we flee from his presence If wee ascend into heauen is hee not there If we lie downe in hel is hee not there If wee flie to the vttermost partes of the earth is he not there also there nedeth no Paritoure to summon vs there needeth no Bailife to fetch vs there needes no accuser to giue in verdite against vs sinne will arrest vs and lieth at the doore our owne conscience will impanell a queast against vs our own hearts will giue in sufficient evidence and our iniquities will pleade guiltie to our faces Thus wee see both by the experience of them that haue suffered the wound of the spirit and the comparing it with other evills what a weight most grievous and a burthen intollerable it is to haue a tormented Conscience Nowe let vs shewe howe we may preuent it and by what meanes Gods children often fall into some degrees of it but if it rage in extremitie it is an euill vnrecoverable yet many safely and quietly be deliuered from it and heere a just complaint is to be taken vp and it is a woonder to be marked if we may wonder at Gods works that we see many so carefull and watchfull to avoide other troubles and so few or none take any paine to escape trouble of minde which is so grievous we see men loving health and loathing sicknesse in dyet temperate in sleepe moderate in phisick expert skilfull to purge and so to avoid such corrupt humours which in time many breede though presently they do not bring forth sicknes yet to avoide the diseases of the soule no man abateth his sleepe none abridgeth his dyet no man prepareth phisick for it no man knoweth when to be full and when to be emptie howe to want and howe to
as yet to be raised vp so the sugered consolations may for a while over heale the Conscience and abate some present griefe but so as afterward the smart may be the sorer the griefe may growe the greater Heereof ensueth this effect that comfort seemeth to cure for a while but for the wante of wisedome in the right discovering of the cause men minister one medicine for another and so for want of skill the latter fit grindeth them sorer than the former Some there are that without all precepts and practise will be their owne Phisitions and these so soone as the fitte commeth vpon them thinke it best to chastise chase away their sorrowe by drinking at Tavernes by minstrilsie in merry companies by purgeing melancholies in taking phisick all which may seeme to weare away the paines for a while but yet after it biteth more deeplie when the burning feaver of their spirites shaketh them with the second recourse and for that they were not before trulie searched purged seared and launced it comes to passe that the second relapse is the more dangerous To come to our purpose we must knowe that all griefes are either confused or distinct and sure it is that the mind is appalled either for some cause knowne to vs as certaine or for something vnknowne to vs and vncertaine to them which are troubled with such blinde griefes whereof they can see no reason As oft it hapneth to Gods children in secreet election who either neuer knowe God or else had but a generall knowledge of him I answere that as I deny not phisick to be ministred if in any parte it proceede of a naturall cause so I require the word especiallie to shewe the principall and originall cause to beginne in the soule I do the rather because I would haue wisedome both in the considering the state of the bodie if need so require and in looking chieflie to the soule which fewe thinke on If a man troubled in Conscience come to a Minister it may be he will look all to the soule and nothing to the bodie If he come to a Phisition he onlie considereth of the bodie and neglecteth the soule For my part I woulde neither haue the Phisitions counsell seuered nor the Ministers labour neglected because the soule and bodie dwelling together it is convenient that as the soule should be cured by the word by praier by fasting by threatning or by comforting so the body should be brought into some temperature by phisick by purging by dyet by restoring by musick and such other like meanes provided alwaies that it be done so in the feare of God and wisedome of his spirite as we think not by these ordinarie meanes to smother and smoke out our troble but as purposing to vse them as preparatiues wherby both our souls and bodies may be made more capable of the spirituall meanes to follow after As wee require these thinges to be the matters of our ministerie in such a perplexitie so we would wish the persons ministring to be men learned and of sound judgment wise and of godly experience meek and of most loving spirits for when the troubled patient shall be well perswaded of our knowledge discretion and therewithall shall perceiue vs to come in loving and tender affection I think an entrance is made and all prejudice taken away so as we may more freely worke vpon that conscience First bring them to the sight of sinne as to some cause of their trouble wherein we must labour to put away al confusion and blindnes of sorrowe by wisedome to bring the parties wounded to some certaine object and matter of their troble and so draw out of them the confession of some speciall secreet and severall sinnes I say secreete and severall sinnes because I knowe howe that many through a palpable blindenes or disordered discerning of sinne talke nothing so much as of sinne and yet either they cannot descrie severall sinnes or they will not be brought to acknowledge their secreet sins whereof the one proceedeth of the ignorance of the Lawe of God the other of selfe-loue which maketh vs loth even in our trauell of minde to shame our selues Now that confession of particular sins is requisite it may appeare by the 32. Psalme wherein being a Psalme of instruction concerning the forgiuenes of sinnes the Prophet by his owne experience teacheth vs that he could finde no reliefe of his sicknes vntill hee had remembred and made confession of his sinnes What shall we think of the Prophet of God which taught so wonderfully by the word and by the spirit and did not see his sins before be it far from vs rather let vs knowe that he had not severally and particularlie ripped vppe his sinnes before the Lord in a severall confessing of them which though the Lord knowes farre better than wee our selues yet such kind of sacrifice is more acceptable to him Nowe in this trouble the persons humbled cannot come to this particular sight of sinne in themselues It is good to vse the helpe of others to whome they may offer their hearts to bee gaged and searched and their liues to be examined more deeplie by hearing the several articles of the Law laid open before them whereby they may square the whole course of their actions For as we said before the grossest hypocrite will generally complaine of sinne and yet deale with them in particular pointes of the particular precepts and proue them in the applying of things to bee done or vndone to them to their owne conscience and we shall see many of these poore souls tossed to and fore nowe fleeting in joyes nowe plunged in sorrowes not able to distinguish one sin from another Now when we shall see the wound of the spirit to arise of any certaine and knowne sinne it is either for some sinne already committed wherein wee lie or else for some sin yet not committed but whereunto wee are tempted For the former it pleased God often to bring old sinnes to minde when we haue not throughly repented of them before so as it nowe representing them to vs a fresh we may fall into a more misliking of them and yet herein is not al to mislike our selues for some particulars although it bee good to be occupied about some speciall sin for as it is not sufficient for the avoiding of hypocrisie to see sin generally so it is not ynough to eschew the damnablenes of the heart ever to bee purring in every particular and to be forgetfull of the great and generall sins and lette vs learne by the particulars to passe to the generalls When any such one sinne doth pursue the rest not onely therein but say thus rather vnto thy selfe O Lord is this our sinne so grieuous and doth my God punish this one so sorely howe great should be my punishment if thou shouldest O Lord so deale with me for all my other sinnes Let vs labour to haue a sence both of particular and generall