root that beareth Gall and Wormwood and it come to pass when he heareth the words of this curse that he bless himself in his heart saying I shall have peace though I walk in the immagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst the Lord will not spare him but then the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoak against that man and all the curses that are written in this book shall fly upon him and the Lord shall blot out his name from under Heaven and the Lord shall seperate him unto evil Deut 29.19 20. According to all the curses of the Covenant that are written in this book of the Law Because I have called and you refused I have stretched out my hand and no man regardeth but ye have set at nought my councels and would none of my reproofes I also will laugh at your calamity I will mock when your Fear cometh When your Fear cometh as desolation and your Destrection cometh as a whirle-wind when Distress and Anguish cometh upon you c. Prov. 24 c. How express is the holy Law of God terror hath an appointed season distress and anguish lye in the Womb of time God hath hiâ— vials of wrath tribulation and anguish to powrâ—â—â— upon enery soul of man that doth evil Rom. 2. 〈◊〉 and who knows what a day may bring forth Prov. 27.1 7. How many a time hath Hell-fire flashed in thy face already and yet thou returnest not I mean how oft hast thou found terror seizing upon thee at all times which yet thou hast shaken off again I can hardly believe there is any sinner in the world that now sinneth with the greatest delight and freedom but findeth that his way is beset with dangers I know not what may be said of such who live in Countryes where the word of God hath not been familiarly taught the Apostle of the Gentiles seemeth to speak the same thing plainly concerning them Even they have witness bearing Consciences and thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another Rom. 2.15 The Devils servants have an hard Apprentiship before they be made free They sin with much bondage before they come to sin with delight The spirit of God hath striven with them their own hearts have smitten them secret warnings have they had within themselves oh do not this thing which God hateth now what do these things mean why they shew you what is like nay sure to be the wages of sin that God will not be blamed when he shall sentence you to an eternal bondage under his heavy wrath He now would have frightned you out of your sinful state and you would not he sent his spirit to strive with you and wring your weapons of sin out of your hands and you would not let them go he gave you some tastes of the Cup of trembling shook the full bottles of wrath before thy eyes which he might have put to thy lips and held them fast there until thou hadst been overwhelmed with terrors He drew his bow and whet his sword that thou beholding that mightest prepare thy seâ—f to escape the prepared instruments of death So that poor sinner thou art not an utter stranger to the things that I am perswading thee to think off the terrors of God Some small appearances may be have been sometime found in thee upon commission of some extraordinary sin Well see to it this is the bitter root which though thou labour to bury it under the Earth a while will without doubt spring up into a mighty tree bringing forth the fruits of shame pain and death 8. Thou goest on merrily in the way of thine own heart labouring to suppress thy sorrows at the first rising Thou hast no thoughts of thy latter end which thou smotherest not in their very beginning But remember though thou fearest not thy self now upon the Earth but thy danger is better thought off in Hell Oh I think with thy self that the story of dâ—mned Dâ—vâ—s was not penned from the mouth of Christ in vain Luke 16.27 c. rather judge it to be as indeed it is an argument fetcht from Hell to carry thee over into the ways of Heaven All thy old acquaintance and relations who once while they were in the Land of the living spent their days in pleasure drawing thee on to use the good things that are now present Wisd 2.6 c. Come on let us fill our selves with costly wine and Ointments and let no flower of the Spring pass by us Let us Crown our selves with Rose-bud before they be withered let none of us go without his part of our jollity let us leave tokens of our joyfulness in every place for this is our portion and our lot is this Let us oppress the poor righteous man let our strength be the Law of justice let us lye in wait for the righteous because he is not for our turn he is clean contrary to our doings he upbraideth us with our offending the Law and objecteth to our infamy the transgressings of our education He professeth himself to have the knowledge of God and he calleth himself the Child of the Lord he was made to reprove our thoughts he is grievous unto us even to behold for his life is not like other mens his ways are of another fashion we are esteemed of him as counterfeit false come he abstaineth from our ways as from filthyness he pronounceth the end of the just to be blessed and maketh his boast that God is his Father let us see if his words be true and let us prove what shall happen in the end of him For if the just man be the Son of God he will help him and deliver him from the hand of his enemies let us examine him with despightfulness and torture him that we may know his meekness and prove his patience let us condemn him with a shameful death for by his own saying he shall be respected In contemplation follow these boon Companions down to Hell and you shall find them of another mind Wisd 5.2 c. There they shall be troubled with terrible fear and shall be amazed at the strangeness of the despised righteous mans salvation so farr beyond all that they looked for And repenting and groaning within themselves for anguish of spirit shall say This was he whom we had sometimes in derision and a Proverb of reproach we fools accounted his life madness and his end to be without honour How is he numbred among the Children of God and his lot is among the Saints therefore have we erred from the right way we wearied our selves in the way of wickedness and destruction what hath Pride profitted us or what good hath riches with our vaurting brought us all those things are passed as a shadow and as a Post that hasteth away and as a Ship that pâ—sseth over the waves of the water or when as a bird hath flown through the air or like an arrow shot at
of the Authour is needless read him a man he is of long standing in profession a Follower of God both up-hill and down-hill for many years one who hath not liv'd so ill as to have all men speak well of him nor common frailties excepted as to deserve the contrary If his zeal for God hath expos'd him to the reproach of some well may he bear it He desires to let the World see nothing in him but his infirmities the rest is God's and not his A man whom long diseases of Soul and many Paroxcisms or heights of distemper have annoyed but not left by the great Physitian How he came at first to any sence of Religion in truth and with how much difficulty through the strong temptations of Sathan he attained to a comfortable hope of the love of God what was the course taken by him for his relief how Faith in the promises and submission to all Gods dealings were and are to be exercised are the cheif things here spoken of The Lord make it as profitable to thee in reading as he testifies they were to him in the experiencing who after many weak fits of Faith and Faithfulness in weakness rejoyceth in hope of the glory of God That thou maist be bettered by this publication is the Authours design and the hearty prayer of To the Saints of the Most High God especially the afflicted in Conscience lying under sad desertions and groaning for deliverance Grace Peace and Victory be given to you from the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour HAving received so glorious a mercy as to be delivered from many delusions and temptations of Sathan under which I lay for many years I look upon it as my great duty to manifest Gods gratious dealings with me to the Sons and Daughters of Men and so much the rather do I thus judge because the wayes of God to me have not been common or ordinary wayes they are but a few of Gods Children as the Authour of the book entituled Dr. Tho. Goodwin A Child of Light walking in darkness witnesseth whom their Father casts into the belly of Hell deep Waters where they feel no bottom letting out Sathan upon them and the manifestation of his glorious grace in saving such to the utmost is the main end one of them he aimeth at in dealing thus with any 't is no wonder Satan should have an access to and converse with the spirits of men and many times when they know it not for he is a Spirit or that with so much vigour and terrour his temptations in times of desertion should be accompanyed for by the evidence of Gods word ana his own ways 't is certain that his work and business is to drink up and devour his nature is not only that of a Roaring Lyon for power and terrour but also of a subtle Serpent for pollicy and poison his season and opportunity is when we are weakest and at the worst and night and day doth he keep watch and ward for taking all the advantage that may be if God for needful ends turns but his back upon his child hides his face from him forsakes him but for a little moment the enemy waiteth at the door to break in as a mighty flood If by Feavor Melancholly or other bodily distempers the natural spirits which are the â—ursitors between the body and the Soul are made uncapable of performing their Office aright then is he sure to be up and doing every affiction is an hour of temptation the dark is his delight now is the time for him to lay his delusions upon the fantasie and to charge sin upon the Soul when he findeth it most unable to resist and ready to embrace and believe it To bring the Soul in to inextricable troubles is his design to accomplish with more then conceiveable pollicy cruelty and mallice are set at work for he is the red Dragon who hath all along traded in persecution of the woman and her seed Christ and his Church For the space of fourty years or thereabouts hath it pleased the hand that took me out of my Mothers Womb to train me up and lead me along in this uncomfortable Wilderness of temptation though I cannot say that in all these years he hath left me to the violence of spiritual conflicts for then the burthen had been too heavy for flesh to stand under so long yet must I needs say my clearest day all that time was but dark and however I seemed to others in point of comfort outwardly sure I am my soul enjoyed not her rest nor could I ever say I was all that while any more then a Prisoner of hope still subject unto bondage and not discharged of the debt nor delivered from my fears 'T was but an hard shift I made to hold up my head when I was at best my worst cannot be expressed until now at last that God for whom I wâ—ited in the way of his Judgements and from whom were my expectations in the use of appointed means all this while came and was found of me when I looked not for him delivered me from my strong Enemy set my Feet upon a Rock and established my goings The same God that was my stay in the day of calamity is now my Glory and the lifter up of my head he is my strength and song and is now become my Salvation Upon the whole I may truly say as once Job said I have heard of God by the hearing of the Ear but now mine Eye hath seen him now hath he made known himself to me by his sweet Spirit and by the manifestation and operation of his glorious power in giving me deliverance And I can say by experience more then ever that now I know there is a God so also now I know there is a Devill such have been the delusions cursed injections of blasphemous thoughts and dreadful temptations wherewith he hath endeavoured to fill my Soul till the day the Lord by his great power delivered me out of his hands that I have cause to know him and to make him known as far as I am able to the World which is the endeavour of this ensuing Relation Every Child of God I am perswaded is somewhat acquainted with the wounds of conscience but God who best knows the frame of his people and what they can bear and for what work they are intended measures not to all alike Some are made to sip onely of the Cup of Trembling while others are made to drink down larger draughts every Soul hath his tast To much as will serve to make an experiment of the evil and bitter nature of sin but some have more then others and though every man is apt to magnifie his own miseries into a Non such because the heart knows his own bitterness and a wounded Conscience who can bear yet without breach of modesty I think I may bolaly affirm that few of the Sons of Men have been in greater danger or more beholden
satisfied in the other or eâ—se thou playest the Bedlam in hazarding the light of Gods countenance Hazarding nay if thou belong to God sure sure suffering one time or other and in some degree or other under the sad forsakings of the peace of thy own Conscience and the grieved blessed spirit thy Comforter Near relation to God will not carry thee an inch the further from his sore chastisements Judgement begins fiâ—st at the house of God 1 Pet. 4.17 You only have I known of all the Families of the Earth therefore will I punish you for all your iniquities Amâ— 3 2. Christians advanced to greater heights of gifts and grace then others Mat. 11.23 had need look better to their standing then others for if they fall it will be lower then others Such falls though it may not break the neck 't wil be sure to break the bones Psal 51.8 He said well but not all That 't is better for a man to loose a whole estate then to tell one lye But I say were the whole world a mans own estate t were better bid an everlasting adieu to it all let Wife and Children fare as they will then provoke one single God to be gone in his displeasure If he goes I partly can tell you what that is 't is that which I am not able to tell you for the greatness of its misery This is thy Benjamin If thou art bereaved of this then thou art bereaved indeed Gen. 43.14 3. Be ready to speak and spend to say and do all that you can for God Your goodness cannot extend to God but there are Saints in the Earth Ps 16.2 let these be to thee the excellent ones in these take thou thy whole delight By liberal things you may be made to stand Isa 32.8 God will not cast them out of his favour who have room in heart and house to entertain his Ministers cast out of all for Conscience sake Even Moab might look for a stability of his throne upon these terms Isa 16.4 5. Unmercifulness to the Ambassadours of Christ will turn his love into displeasure Luk. 10 16. He that troubles Kingdoms for unkindnesses shewed to these Ps 105.15 will not surely be behind with thee for thy love to them To see godly rich men miserable in the daâ— of their bretherens calamity is such a fight that the times of the Apostles had not the like Acts 4.32 Nor can disability to spare for such uses be well aledged while needless feasting unnecessary attendance costly apparel rich presents to great men purchasing of Lands are found among them Le ts take a measure of the greatness of this sin by the proceedings of the day of judgement Where sins of omission make up the whole inditement Mat. 25.41 c. Christ in his Ministers Christ in his members may be poor and sick and in Prisons and in want of Cloathing Slight him now and it shall not be forgotten You may hear of it when you would not consider well hath the long enjoying of the Gospel taken away the sweetness of it should it not be as sweet to you now as ever it was are not we as much concerned in it as they were in primitive days expect we not now as great rewards as they did then and have we not as good security for the rich returns of such disbursments as ever they had a Disciple of Christ a Prophet of God though but so nominally melted into wants and misery by the scorching beams of persecution is excellent water to cast your bread upon Eccles 11.1 When harvest comes you shall see what mighty Sheaves what full measures heaped and pressed down your small expence of bread-corn will amount unto He that cannot give a little how will he be able to sell all Mark 10.21 Let him that would have a Heaven of peace within here and peace above for ever think of these things 4. Pray oh pray and add to prayer watchfulness that he enter not into temptation Mat. 26.41 Fervent Prayer can do much with God and watching conduceth much to the fervor of our prayers Watchfulness will prevent the terror and danger of sudden surprizes It gives a seasonable alarme to the sleepy soul to stand to its arms He that knows what it is to pray in the Spirit Eph. 6.18 and how to watch thereunto with all perseverance hath such a jewel of grace that will preserve all other graces safe This is the Life-guard while our King walketh in his Galleryes Cant. 7.5 'T is that which though it cannot absolutely free the soul from the plots of the World Flesh and Devil will enable it to withstand them all Eph. 6.13 and stand fast after all This is truly the Wine of Angels and Poison of Devils In brief then Remember that you never suffer Satan to prevail with you for the laying aside of this blessed duty he will set hard upon you for that end Unworthyness of Person want of comfort weakness of faith unsuccessfulness after all one thing or other will the Devil plead to make thy tempted soul restrain prayer before God If he can but bring thee to let fall thy hands he knows what will be the issue of the battle Amalek did not more surely prevaile against the Armies of Israel then he will against thee Exod. 16.11 Oh! then pray and pray again lead us not into temptation My woful experience bids me tell you that 't is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God It may be by these means you may be kept from entring into the terror of temptation Having now ended all that I have to say to those who in sincerity making profession of the ways of God are called by his name My tender love to the glory of God the God of my salvation and my compassion of the souls of poor impenitent sinners puts me upon an adventure to write a few more words Who knoweth but some one or other of these may read what I have here written and in so doing see the case they stand in to be an evil case And what cause they have hearing what the sence of sin hath wrought in others with all their might and main to turn back from their eager persuit of perishing pleasures and â—â—y to Jesus Christs Person promises and paths to save themselves from the wrath that is to come Poor sinners be not offended at the name I could be willing to purchase a better title for you even the worst of you all with the expence of prayers and tears I reproach you not while I thus bespeak you nor factiously and proudly would I insinuate as if I or any upon nature's account deserved a better name or as if different sentiments about lower matters in Religion were a sufficienâ— cause to give out such wide distinguishing titles alas 't is no such matter I mean no other then such whose sence and feeling of the heavy weight of sin hath been so little that to this day
the mark the trace of which cannot be found even so we as soon as we were born began to draw toward our end and had no sign of vertue to shew but were consumed in our own wickedness By this time the stout hearts of sinners will be brought down those whom the evidence of truth shining in the testimonies of the Prophets and Apostles could not convince or convert from their evil words and ways sad experience will work upon if they cannot remove their pains fain would they diminish or prevent the increase of them I pray thee Father Abraham that thou wouldest send to my Fathers house for I have five brethren lest they also come into this place of torment Luk. 16.27 28. For shame let not Hell have more charity then earth thy old companions in the burning Lake would not by any means be troubled with the company of thee whom they engaged and encouraged in evil ways they have fins and sorrows enough of their own without the addition of others to weight them down into everlasting confusion here it may be some comfort but an envious one to have many companion in the like misery but there in Hell 't is nothing so Think then shall those that have been in the subburbs of Hell by spiritual desertions or those who are really gone down thither never to return wish me to look to it that I never come into that place of torment and shall not I whom it most of all concerns befriend my own pretious soul with a serious seasonable consideration of it's eternal danger God forbid 9. If thou wilt but now at last be willing it is more then possible thou maist be hid from or in the day of the Lords wrath Resolve with thy self fully that thou wilt now enter the ways that God by the Gospel of his Son hath chalked out for the ways of peace and walk therein endure the troubles of an holy Life shun not the spiritual worship of God think not the griefs arising from true repentance or the troubles God by wisdom and love shall permit Satan to inflict upon thee to humble thee for thy past sins or patient passing through many tribulations to be sufficient causes to quarrel with God or his ways or worship or people think not oh think not God the merciful God the God who is Love that he is an hard Master venture thy talent abroad act what thou hast for the glory of the giver thou shalt not complain of thy returns of mercies They shall be sure if not swift mercies that holiness will entitle thee unto Is 15.3 Thou maist be sure where grace leads the Van glory and peace shall bring up the Reer Is 52.12 Complain not that thou wantest power to turn thy self from sin to holiness from self to Jesus Christ from nature to grace till thou hast faithfully employed the power thou already hast if God hath made thee willing he will not fail to make thee able what is hard to the flesh shall be easie and delightful to the spirit John 14.6 the way thou walkest in gives Life Heb. 10 20. a Life of duty and a Life of glory 't is a living way But dally not overlong say not within thy self shall I do it must I leave my old sins when shall I begin make no longer If 's and And 's but be up and doing Behold now is the accepted time now is the day of salvation 2 Cor 6.2 Let it alone till a little longer and then a thousand world will not afford an hiding place from the wrath to come 10. Iâ— God hath spared thee many years not letting out his terrors upon thy soul for sin thou hast no cause to flatter thy self but to tear the more the longer terrors are in coming the more terrible when they come and come they will one time or other As comforts long with-held from the child of God come in greater abundance at the last so do terrors to the wicked Lam. 3.27 In this sence it is good to bear the yo akâ—â—n ones youth Gods forbearance is no forgiveness and greater must that fire be whose fuel hath been long in gathering Rom. 2.5 Thou heapest up wrath against the day of wrath long impenitency and hardness of heart will make thy pile of such a bulk that when the breath of the Lord shall kindle it who can quench it two vials are always filling together the one is here below the other above the vial of sin and the vial of wrath or else the vessel of grace and the vessel of glory look to it then as these vessels fill apace on earth so do those in Heaven unhappy is that Soul whom God doth not take off from his work of filling up the measure of sins by pouring out the vials of his wrath while it is yet little You flee from the pains of repentance to a merry Life you do what you can to gag the mouth of conscience to prevent your own disturbance made by its loud cryes lay aside the Scriptures as bankrupts do their books least too much searching should beget sadness reproach the Godly man because he is your reproof do by the powerful painful Ministers of Christ as the storied town of sluggards did by their Smiths drive them away that you may sleep the longer or in plain terms love darkness rather then light least you should be reproved by the light but silly worm what art thou doing all this while thou flâ—est from the Adder and the Serpent will bite thee thou flâ—est from thy friend to an enemy from the Lancings of a Chyrurgeon to the deadly wounds of an adversary from Gods way of healing thee by gentlet means from pricking of thy heart till a dart strike through thy Liver in a word all thy care is to shift off present needful temporal gentle correction and fatherly chastisement but this is not thy way thou blessest thy self with thoughts that thy conscience shall never trouble thee but it will not be the longer God forbears to handle thee thou shouldst fear the more I have done what I could to employ the talent of my experience for thy profit I know a wounded conscience to be such a Guest that no man can fall in Love with it but rather then abide under an ignorant flattering seared conscience let my portion be a wounded one the next remove of this may be yea shall be in every child of God from horror to healing peace and rest whereas the other labouring to avoid wounds here will fall into woe and a worse condition for ever Do as you like since it will be no otherwise I for my part shall pray heartily with that good man Lord here lance me here burn me here tear me so thou spare me for ever THE END HAving spoken something of Satans stratagems in my preceeding treatise I intended to have spoken no more of that subject But since the writing thereof that wicked one Satan hath made his attempts upon me