threatned eternall punishment to every impenitent unconverted sinner S. 2 O Lord how wonderfull art thou in mercy and goodnesse I am one of those vile and miserable sinners whom thou hast often called to amendment to whom thou hast sent thy servants importunately beseeching that I would cease to do evill and learn to do well that I would but turn and live but hitherto I have not fully yeelded I have dear Lord too too often and too too long put thee off with excuses and when I could say nothing for my continuance in sinne nor against holy living and speedy reformation yet then have I delayed my necessary duty with a promise of reformation delaying from day to day that which I have promised and continually going on in that which I should renounce even to this day O Lord thou knowest it S. 3 Many opportunities have been given unto me much grace offered many Sabbaths many Sermons many Counsels many a check of Conscience many rebukes from the Lord in sad dispensations and all to reclaim me and long hast thou waited for my return that thou mightest pardon and be gracious But alas alas I have abused thy long-sufferance made light of thy invitations and all thy sweet and kind perswasions and fatherly corrections I have heard thy Messengers speaking to me time after time from the Lord saying often with tears in their eyes to me Regardlesse hard-hearted Wretch Oh do not do not the abominable things which I hate O why wilt thou die But all in vain my obstinate hard heart hath said There is no hope I will not change nor amend S. 4 Yea Lord although thy severe and dreadfull threats have come to my ears against such sins as I alas as I my self am guilty of and there is nothing that keepeth me on this side hell all this while but thy wonderfull mercy forbearing execution on such an evill doer as I have been and yet for all this my fool-hardy heart is set upon evill still S. 5 I have heard from thy Word Mat. 18.3 John 3.3 as it were from Heaven to me by name that Except I be converted I shall never enter into the Kingdom of Heaven and yet I have not seriously minded it but to this day I have continued to follow lustfull desires and unchristian practises alas to this day too long But dear Lord wilt thou be intreated by me a vile sinner as I am now to move my heart effectually that I may set upon reformation to purpose Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me clean holy just sober and a sound convert thou hast bid me although a miserable sinner to ask according to thy will and thou hast promised to hear and grant S. 7 It is thy will most holy God that I should turn and live and it is the desire and earnest request of my soul that I may leave off all my ungodliness worldly lusts vanities and all my sins And that I may become a new man a sincere and holy Christian Lord help me and never leave me begin and finish my Reformation in heart and life make this little book an happy Instrument of mine Amendment Let the truths from thy word convince me let the Arguments perswade me let the reasons move me to a speedy practicall resolution let my many sins yet unreformed shame me and weary me let thy Threats deter me from sin let thy promises allure me to Holiness S. 8 Let thy Grace accompany my Endeavours this way let the few dayes I have to live and the great work I have yet to do for my soul drive me to hasten my Resolution let not sloth nor delusions nor any temptation or secular Interest whatsoever entice my poor soul from this work of self-Reformation I am Resolved to read consider and practice dear Lord help my Resolutions and further this happy work of reformation in my heart and life Say Lord for Christs sake to my soul Goe on and prosper Amen Amen S. 10 Now if thou canst truly from thy heart bewail thy former neglect and miscarriage and beg heartily of God to assist thee in this thy so great concernment then art thou hopefully prepared and in a fair way both to receive further Instruction and Resolution for thy saving Reformation And accordingly I shall in the name of God proceed with thee after this method In the first part of Reformation which consists in forsaking of all thy sins and evil practises To shew what is meant in this design by SAVING REFORMATION that you may understand your businesse To prove the absolute necessity of such a reformation in order to salvation that you may believe it To discover those sins which are in every instance inconsistent with saving reformation which if not forsaken in heart and life will infallibly bring destruction to thy soul at last that when you know them and the dreadfull consequence of them you may be induced to repent them to renounce them all without any further delay or hesitancie To give you some speciall Directions about this thing that it may prove Effectuall that your labour may not be lost but through the grace of God successefull To urge the duty upon you with undeniable arguments to move you to be speedy and practicall in Reformation And this is done in this first part about Reformation as it comprehends a turning from all Evill in heart and life a ceasing from sin in all its instances and appearances I doe in the Second part of Reformation which consists of an holy Life 1. Propose the practicals of saving conversion in all Christian performances and right orderly heavenly Conversation And shew likewise the absolute necessity of such a course of holy living to make our reformation complete and our salvation sure Lay down some Directions for the holy ordering of you life both fot Time and Duties Lastly I doe conclude with earnest motions to perform all the requisits to thy salvation constantly to the end And no man can set himself against or refuse to yield to all that is here moved for nor delay his reformation but he that hath forfeited his reason and all his interest in Christ and hath sold himself to wickedness and resolves to be miserable in despite of God and good Counsell and is grown desperate and means to cast away his precious soul for ever But I hope thou that hast read so far as this art not such an one and therefore I intreat you would seriously consider what is said to thee in each particular about thy speedy Reformation CHAP. III. Of Reformation in the notion of it as it is intended for practise S. 1 REformation which is the subject I am about to treat of is a word not very frequently used in Scripture but the thing I mean by it is in many places described And I chuse this term of Reformation because it comprehends what I mean to exhort you to and as it is a Vulgar word best known to such as I am
increased I will lay me down in peace c. how comfortably doth he take to his rest when he lyes down in Gods favour And had he kept his sin he had lost his peace and happinesse for you may see a glimpse of the sadnesse of his soul and unquietness in that 51. Psalm when he cryes out O his sin his sin Why David what hast thou done by sining what damage hath fallen on thee by thy sin why you shall see he lost his peace he lost the presence of Gods favour and by this his onely comfort and felicity he had lost The best Jewel in his Crown was dropt out when he lost Gods favour he cryes heartily for mercy the mercy of pardon the mercy of purification and cleaning from the filth of his sin the mercy of his restauration to those joys comforts and happiness he had in Gods favour which then were hid from him which was his misery Purge me and I shall be clean cleanse me from my sin and I shall have joy and gladness again Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation once more See how he mourns and prays and for what is it why t is that his sins may be abolished his guilt pardoned and his comforts restored which he had lost by his folly and which could never be restored but by repentance and leaving off his sin and untill this was gotten he knew he could never see happy day nor enjoy a minute of true comfort in all the world though it had been one paradise of pleasure And thus it will be with every one that goeth on in his sin Ah! at what a loss doth a sinner act and keep his sin And this is my case already and shortly it will be worse with me I know God and my Conscience will not long hold peace and be silent I am sure I must leave my sin or lose my comforts lose my quiet lose my felicity and espouse a quarrel that will admit of no reconciliation if I keep my sins I must never look God in the face more or expect to have the least good look of favour from his grace nor any friendly dealing from my own conscience but must be under perpetuall rebukes and accusations of a wronged conscience and when this comes to pass then farewell happy day no more comfort when God and my own conscience are against me As my sins increase true felicity ceaseth and my comforts wither and decay and alas how sadly doth that poor wretch think on death when it will prove but the execution of a rebell and a changing of this miserable life for an eternity of horror and reproch Ah! let me now consider whether my gain by sin any way will countervail this loss is it not more eligible and should it not be a matter of my choice infinitely rather to enjoy the favour of God and peace and tranquillity of my own conscience then whatever pleasure gain or other emolument might come to my flesh by sinning with the loss of my innocency integrity my happiness in Gods favour and that inward peace which is a continuall feast passing all outward delights whatsoever S. 60 3. Sin doth not onely banish God and happiness from my soul here for a season but the loss goeth higher still by my sin and continuance in it it loseth me the hopes of heaven it disappointeth my expectation of heaven how can I once hope to be saved while I practise those things which would throw me out of Heaven if it were possible for one to think on with delight in heaven how can I with reason conclude I shall be saved and yet live in a course contrary to the promises of salvation Heaven is a place of holiness as well as of happiness and no unclean thing shall enter into it there is not one there nor ever shall be that lived in actuall sin and died out of this world impenitent and unreformed how then can I with any face expect to be saved with my sin when God saith I shall not is heaven at my dispose or at Gods is it not his to give to whom he please can I force in against his will hath he not passed his word that no wicked man nor unrighteous nor adulterers nor whoremonger nor theif nor drunkard nor liar nor any impenitent sinner of any kind shall inherit the kingdome of heaven And shall I think God will revoke his decree and comply with the expectation of any vile sinner against his own truth honour and holiness may I hope to get to heaven whether God will or no no certainly I must leave my sin or leave off to hope any more that I shall be saved I must despair of salvation or I must depart from mine iniquity and get my sins pardoned and soul sanctified by a timely repentance and sound reformation or quit my claim to salvation and let fall my suit and expectation though I seek it beg for it desire it cry for it in my setled course of sinning I shall not find it nor attain it nay though I had to give and would freely give all I have Micah 6.7 8. and ten thousand times more then the whole world is worth to purchase heaven at the end of a vitious life it would not be accounted of it would not open heaven-gate to me it could not procure for me one glimpse of that glory which the Saints enjoy much less that full enjoyment which is laid up for those that repent and believe and live holily here and so persevere to the end of their dayes And now let me consider had I best leave my sin or my claim and hopes of heaven I may not keep both I must forgoe one either my sin here or my happiness hereafter will my sin be a sufficient compensation for the losse of heaven or heaven for the parting with my lusts will a base lust be of greater advantage to thy soul then heaven that thou makest so much of it and so little of salvation canst not brook the thoughts of parting with thy sin and yet canst well enough endure the thoughts of the loss of heaven is sin so pleasing a thing and holiness and heaven so uncomfortable that thou shouldest take such pleasure in unrighteousness and account grace and salvation such a burthen and loss canst thou not sustain with patience the loss of a child a friend the disappointment of a little carnall contentment or to be crossed in thy gratifying a vile lust and canst bear with contentedness the loss of thy God and Saviour thy joy and felicity for ever O sordid stupidity O stupid folly O desperate madness is it imaginable that such a thing as this should ever enter into the heart of any man that hath not forfeited his reason and sold himself to work wickedness or resolved to throw away his soul and undoe himself for ever and resolves to continue in his sin though it be with the loss of his salvation S. 61
comes to be thy present it will be as much against thy will then as now it is and therefore unless I intend to put off my repentance and amendment my conversion and reformation for altogether and never to think on t ' more otherwise let me do that which I think to do this year or seven years hence NOW FORTHWITH and that is to forsake all that God dislikes in me and all that his holy word hath witnessed against and my conscience reproves me of without any more ado For I must not befool my self any longer with this opinion that sin will cease of it self and if it doth then sin leaves me I leave not sin Si autem vis agere poenitentiam quando jam peccare non potes peccata te dimiserunt non tu illa Aug. or that pardon will be more easily obtained when I have sinned as much and as long as I can or that repentance will be more acceptable to God when I am forced to it and then too when my age and strength my understanding memory and affections fail me or that God will be pleased well enough with the refuse of my service after I have served the world the flesh and the devil with my prime and full strength and best affections as though God which deserves infinitely more then I can perform Irrisor est non poenitens qui adhuc agit quod paeniteat non minuit peccata sua sed multiplicat Aug. would be put off with any thing or pleased and contented to be mocked by me a most vile wretch while I seem to offer that fag-end of my life which is fit neither for time nor ability to perform that service which God will account of for true repenoance and thorough-reformation S. 85 O let me never put the fair hopes I now have of obtaining mercy from God if I now set my heart to this my duty of reforming my life speedily to the hazard but while a price is put into my hand let me not be such a fool to cast it and so my self away and that for ever S. 86 Sixtly methink I should not delay any longer my reformation but speedily set my heart upon it and endeavour it to purpose considering that I would not for any worldly good miss the day of grace or that death should meet with me in my unregenerate state and for any thing I know to the contrary this may be the last day of my life or the last day of grace beyond which God will not wait any longer or give me any motion or help towards my conversion but he may in judgment seal up my heart harden it and sear my conscience that I may never so much as think on my condition any more or desire him heartily to heal me and convert me many men have come to this pass even to out-live the date of that mercy intended for them which if they had in time accepted would have brought a saving pardon and reformation to their souls and why should I adventure my salvation on an uncertainty while I may be sure of it if I take the offer while I may have it Besides why should I provoke God to withdraw his grace and cut me off in his displeasure for all the while every moment I live in sinfull impenitency and unconverted state I have nothing to do with any promise of mercy pardon or heaven I am under the curse of the law and power of Satan and go in danger of death and damnation and if death overtake me in my sins I am a lost soul and who can tell how neer he is to his last hour are you not hastening on to your end will time stay for you or can you call back yesterday whether I eat drink sleep play or work yet my time consumes and I am drawing toward my long home of eternity Oh that I may think still on this and make this concluding resolution of it even to speed my work the great business of my sound reformation and put it off for nobodies pleasure no not for any objection to the contrary nor any worldly advantage might be had upon the account of continuance in my sin if I rest in an unconverted state I am in a lamentable condition S. 87 Seventhly let me consider why should I delay this duty any longer but rather make hast to it and be diligent and constant in it seeing all the objections that have ever been made against speedy reformation and all the excuses and pretences for delaying this necessary work are both frivolous and of no weight and treacherous and pernicious how fully have they all been answered and how easy is it for a man of the meanest capacity to satisfy himself of the unreasonableness of all arguments may be produced by the most cunning Sophister against reformation and for procrastination and continuing in sinfull practices from day to day or but for one day longer And why then should I hearken to any thing that may he further insinuated to me from Satan or any of those his instruments which would cause my delay to the wrong of my poor soul CHAP. XI Of Temptations with their Answers §. I. Temptations answered S. 1 MY sins are not so great or not so many nor have I lived in them so long that I need make such hast out of them that I ought to be so much troubled for them or that I should despair of salvation though I never leave them S. 2 This favourable conceit of sin I believe hath betrayed many an unwise soul to their undoing Answ and men that have no mind to change their course have a mind to lessen their faults and to reduce them to a narrow compasse and minute instance how easy it is with men to do wonders in this kind when they have a mind to it but how difficult are far more easy matters when they are actions to be done with what facility doth a wicked man make his great sins little his many sins few and his little sins and few none at all or nothing but God will not be so indulgent to thy sins although thou art S. 3 Now can you not easily repel this temptation and refute this smooth opinion that it prevail not with thee so as to cause thee lay aside thy repentance for the present Thus my sins they are not great but are they not great nor many nor great But are they any at all though they are not many nor great yet they are more then I can reckon and greater then I can bear if I am guilty but of one kind of sin yet that is too much by one if I have acted that sin but once yet that is by once too often if I have lived but one day without repentance 't is a day too long I should not have sinned at all there was no necessity for it I had no command from God to sin neither did any decree of his enforce me to
but let who will do it for you onely believe it your duty and that 's all Oh this will undoe you therefore do it as truly as you believe it truly to be your duty IV. Direction S. 7 4. Now presently fall upon the work of mortification and self-deniall you must now take up your cross that is cross and deny thy sinfull appetites and lustfull desires be sure you be careful to avoid every new sin and never sin actually again in any instance if it be possible and take up a firm resolution with earnest prayer that you will never willingly or wilfully consent to or act again your former follies or any other which you your self have committed or any body else hath or may do for notwithstanding former repentances yet if you live henceforth after the flesh you shall die Rom. 8.13 but if through the spirit you mortifie the deeds of the body you shall live therefore if you would be successfull in this great concernment of reformation you must crucifie and crush the first motions and risings of lust and all inclinations to this or that sin look to this first that the fountain of all must be stopped for all thy sins have a root and before they be acted have a kind of being in lusts as the fruit virtually is in the root and a cockatrice is in the egge and as the streams are from the fountain so thy actual sins are of the same smack and nature with their original from whence they are derived Therefore nip the bud Ibi maximè oportet observare peccatum ubi nasci solet Hier. in Ep. ad Demet. crush the egge dry up the fountain take away the cause and the effect will cease and so will your work be more short and easie suppresse the beginnings suffer not lust to rise or if it move check it presently entertain no parlying with Satan nor thine own naughty reasoning heart that will plead for consent or connivance for thou art in danger when you treat and undone if you yeild Mortifie therefore your members that are upon the earth fornication uncleanness c. that you may be able to do this the Apostle adds by way of counsell and direction in the same verse viz. inordinate affections evil concupiscence Col. 3.5 and covetousness which is idolatry And take heed you stop from going any further or acting any more sin with consent delight or in compliance with thy former custome or as the manner of the world is for every new sin is a great disadvantage because it brings in question all thy hopes and undoes thy former labour in repentance and makes all as done to no purpose and after a new sin you must begin again as though you had done nothing toward repentance ever before good therefore is the advice of the Son of Sirach Ecclus. 7.8 Io. 5.14 Hast thou sinned do so no more but ask pardon for thy former faults adde not sin to sin for in one a man shall not be unpunished and that of our Saviour to one whom he had pardoned Go and sin no more lest a worse thing come unto thee V. Direction S. 8 5. Take heed of all the occasions to sin Nemo diu tutus periculo proximus vigilandum est ergò maximè tentationis initio Greg. avoid them wisely where there are many baites there is much danger and there lieth a snare in almost every thing in enjoyments in company in riches in gifts in recreations and 't is hard for an ordinary Christian that is not acquainted with the deceitfulnesse of sin and treachery of a mans own heart and the measures of things lawfull in themselves to escape the sin while they enjoy the liberty in the use of things allowable and tolerable Licitis perimus omnes and when it is hard to be discerned between sin in appearance and the appearance of sin 't is hard to keep a mans self without fault for he that doth all he may will soon lose his innocency and do that which he should not S. 9 Therefore beware of every occasion which might but peradventure seduce thee to commit folly and then as thou shalt have no excuse for thy sin by reason of the temptation so shalt thou prevent the sin by avoiding the occasion a man shall never be drunk in an alehouse with lewd companions if he enter not in and sit not with such vain persons a man shall never commit murder except he enter the list and quarrel nor can a man commit actual adultery and fornication except he keep company with lewd women and frequent them by his or yeild to their whorish sollicitations neither can a woman betray her chastity except she admit of courtship dalliance gifts and privacie with men of unchast desires and soft and smooth perswasions If I attempt not a temptation and seek it or stay not with it when I am overtaken or surprised but resist or flee it I may be safe and keep my innocency through grace but if I seek an occasion to be foolish or embrace the several offers and occasions of sinning I shall easily and quickly fall but not so soon or with that facility rise again and how much safer and better is it to decline all engagements wherein I may sin then get loose and come off without a scar and a wound a reproch and a shame when once engaged therefore shun the occasions and companying with sin so shalt thou keep thy soul from many inconveniences which otherwise will render thy hopes of heaven more uncertain and thy sincerity of grace more suspected and pardon of former failings more doubtfull VI. Direction S. 10 6. When any lusts sinfull desires stir within thee and move toward any sinfull act or any temptation from the devill the world or naughty men consent not to it flee from it to Christ the sanctuary of thy safety and withstand the temptation as a Christian should remember always thy baptismall vow and that thou art not free to do the will of the flesh thou art under covenant and the government of Christ co serve him and to exercise thy Christian warfare against all manner of sin to destroy as thou art able the kingdome of sin and Satan thou knowest not nor ownest any ruler nor forreigne power or jurisdiction but Christs I may not I must not suffer sin to reign over me while I live Eph. 5.11 I must have no fellowship with the unfruitfull works of darkness but must shun and reprove them all I am not my own I am bought with a price 1 Cor. 6.20 Christ hath bought me and redeemed me from a vain conversation 1 Pet. 1.18 that I might serve him in holiness and righteousness all the days of my life Luke 1.74 75. I dare not nor cannot with any colour of reason or conscience break my vow my covenant my trust and fidelity to comply with any temptation to sin though I might get any
dispensations and that is the upshot of all S. 41 Now while I continue in any sin what do I any less then cross the design of God by these means and so render my self inexcusable and oppose God in Christ and resist the Spirit of God in his word working and endeavouring by all means my conversion what am I less injurious to Gods grace and Christs love by my obstinacie and wilfullness then they of this sort which our Saviour speaks to in tears How often would I have gathered thee Luke 13.34 Luke 19.42 as a hen doth her chickens under her wings but ye would not O that thou hadst known even thou in this thy day and by these thy means the things that belong unto thy peace but now they are hid from thine eyes thou knewest not the time of mercies visitation but crossest the gracious design of thy invitation thou wilt not leave thy sins and now mercy is hid from thee and so my continuance in sin is a meer contradiction to my pardon and forgiveness you see S. 42 O how should this consideration cut me to the bone and pierce me to the heart when my continuing in sin is no less then the opposing the grace of God Its design is to bring me to repentance and forsaking sin that I might find mercy and favour from him who but a mad man or a fool would continue in his sin against such grace and so cross that design of God to bring thee poor wretch to happiness S. 43 I consider that as my sin is against God for 't is a pollution and so against his most holy nature which hath no defilement and 't is against his holy laws his good will purpose and gracious designs and makes the sinner and God at great dispute and controversie which is a state bad enough for a poor wicked wretch to be in yet I may further consider that my sin is against God and so bad enough though God notwithstanding my enmity and contrariety can well enough secure his own honour holiness and eternal happiness without impeachment or the least interruption or diminution yet 't is bad enough to me that I by my sin am become an enemy to God and God an enemy to me which is death and misery sure enough to the sinner I may further consider that as often as I sin I offer violence to my own soul my sin is against my own self it is the greatest wrong and injury I can do to my self and if I had any true love to my self that is to the eternal welfare of my best self my soul Pro. 8.36 I should forbear sinning He that sinneth against me that is against Christ wrongeth his own soul all they that hate me love death If I live in sin and will not repent of it and forbear it I work the greatest mischief I can against my self sinning is self-murthering I lay violent hands on my self if I would study to ruine my self for ever there is no way imaginable like this now mentioned of sinning and repeating the acts and continuing in any sinfull course to effect my utter destruction every sin is a deaths-wound although it kill me not out-right yet it leaves me for dead I am a condemned man I am dead in law and dead as to the acting any life of grace it may be I may have for a little while a name to live but indeed I am dead dead while I live in the world Such an one a sinner is as the Angel of the Church of Sardis reproveth Rev. 3 1. I know thy workes that thou hast a name that thou livest and art dead S. 44 When I commit a sin I consider I doe that which for ought I know I may neither have the grace nor the space to repent of I may forget it I may make light of it or I may excuse it or defend it or maintain it I may be hardened in it and adde more to it and draw others to countenance and practise my sin and so still infect another with my plague and become an exemplar and promoter of wickedness and teach others to sin too and propagate iniquity and bring subjects to the devill and enlarge his kingdome O what an innumerable many of mischiefs do I bring upon my self and others when I sin And after all this if I do seem to be sorry for my so doing at the end of a vicious life I can have none assurance that I shall be pardoned but on the contrary most certain it is if I continue in my sin untill death I must be damned for all my repentance for Judas sinned and repented and despaired and was damned for all his repentance his sin for which he was accused and for which he hanged himself was but a sin and my transgression is a sin too and if Judas or Cain or a Simon Magus or a Julian be damned for their sins what advantage will it be for me if my sin be not so deep a dye so grim a complexion so horrid a sound as treasons and murder a betraying my Master and killing my Brother if I be cast into hell for my omissions of Gods commands and doing such things though but in the least instance which God hath absolutely forbidden When I consider this methinks I should dread sin as an ugly fiend as a devill of hell and shun it as a pest and a killing plague and repent me heartily that ever I committed any and resolve to commit it no more and the more I consider the more I should detest lothe shun renounce all and every wickedness and the more should I raise my resolution to sin no more as I have done lest as bad a thing befall me as hath befallen any of those whose destruction was most dreadfull God grant I may I hope I shall S. 55 3. I consider again that when I sin I injure my own soul 1. I wrong my knowledg I know I should not commit the sin I commit and yet I do it against my knowledge 2. I wrong my reason and judgment my reason and my judgment if it act clear tell me that there is no reason why I should serve sin but all the reason in the world why I should not sin thus and if I would yeild to reason I should not yeild to sin and yet I sin against my reason and judgment and wrong both 3. I wrong and offer violence to my conscience when I sin my conscience minds me that I must not commit this and that sin and it smites me when I do and it accuseth for my sinning when I have done it and yet I sin I do act against my conscience when I sin at all and how will my conscience endure this will not my conscience one day complain to God of me that I wronged it and did things contrary to it in despite of it and do I not wound and gash and tear my bosome friend when I sin do I not
make conscience my enemy too as well as God my enemy every time I commit a sin S. 56 4. Besides all this when I sin again wilfully with consent deliberately I break my baptismal vow and my rational Christian conscientious resolution I â—m engaged by vow and promise to forsake the devil to resist his temptations to renounce worldly lusts and fleshly lusts and every way that is contrary to Christ and holiness and I have or should peremptorily resolve against all manner of sin and yet when I sin voluntarily I violate my vow and break my promise and contradict my resolutions and render my self a covenant-breaker a perjured person an unfaithfull and unconstant a fickle and vain fool and bring guilt and disgrace sin and ignominie together upon my own soul and do I not wrong my self extremely in so doing can I do a greater mischief to my self then I do when I sin after all this can any thing disgrace me more debase me lower revile me more deservedly then this when I commit a sin and live in it is there any thing can deface the image of God in me which is my glory and honour my beauty and perfection then sin If I be poor and holy yet am I rich in grace and so am I honourable too though I want both worldly riches and honours but if I am a sinfull wretch though never so rich and great in the worlds account yet am I but a vile and deformed person a scorn and contemptible before God and Angells O there is nothing makes me ugly and deformed vile and contemptible but my sin do I not then wrong my self by sinning or is there any way imaginable whereby a man can do a greater or so great a mischief to himself then by acting and repeating his sins sure there is not any S. 57 5. When I consider the damage and irreparable loss I procure to my precious soul by my own sin I must conclude within my self that when I sin I wrong my own soul and fight against my own and contend for my own undoing 1. When I commit sin I make a breach between God and my own soul my sin is the make-bate not poverty nor affliction not sickness nor meanness of birth nor deformity of body nor any thing but sin doth make God at a distance from my soul but by sin I lose my innocency and sin away that which nothing can procure me which is much more worth then gold that which gold cannot purchase again the peace of conscience Isa 57.21 There is no peace saith my God to the wicked I provoke Gods anger and displeasure and tempt him to withdraw his favour from me and to bring forth treasures of wrath against me all the while I live in a sinning state I lose the benefit of repentance the benefit of Christs sufferings and intercession I bereave my soul of the indwelling of the spirit of comfort and banish by my sining Christ from my soul and grieve the holy Spirit of God so that he withdraws himself and leaves me desolate and alas what a sad loss hath the soul that hath lost Christ and the Spirit what a miserable condition is it to be without Christ and the Holy Ghost to be one that hath banished Christ and the Holy Spirit from his soul O how deplorable is that mans estate and yet such is the state of a wilfull sinner every man and woman that lives in the love liking and practice of sin and doth not repent and reform he doth not onely lose his best friends and best friendship but provokes them to be his very enemies Christ who loved thee and pittied thee and laid down his life for thee and weeps over thee and bled for thee and spared not his life to redeem thee from thy sins that he might have thee and yet for all this his unparallelled and unspeakable love and tender compassion wilt thou offer him all affronts and pierce and wound him with thy sins and trample upon all his worth and banish him quite away with thy unkind dealing what way couldst thou ever have thought on more ready and certain to deprive thy self of all the benefits of Christs transactions for sinners then by sinning still as thou doest Nay what way could a wicked heart have chosen that would study his own eternal losse and misery like this of sinning still and going on in his wickedness canst thou contrive any thing that will make Christ the best friend that ever poor sinner had thy mortal enemy then by continuing still to do wickedly Those mine enemies saith Christ of impenitent implacable and unruly rebells and sinners Luke 19.27 that would not that I should reign over them bring hither and stay them before me Where I see 't is possible that Christ may become a revenger Psal 2.12 and oh when his wrath is kindled yea but a little how dreadfull will be the appearance of this Lamb of God! how will all such sinners be forced to cry O mountains and rocks fall on us and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne Rev. 6.16 17. and from the wrath of the lamb For the great day of his wrath is come and who shall be able to stand S. 58 2. I do not onely sin away my dear Jesus Christ and his spirit of comfort my best friends and make them my enemies which yet is bad enough God knows for me but I also sin away and lose by sinning my felicity my comforts my peace my happiness all my heaven on earth Alas what a poor miserable uncomfortable creature is a resolved sinner what is a man worth that hath lost the rich enjoyment of Gods favour and his own good conscience what an hell of darkness and horror is that soul in who hath lost the light of Gods countenance and peace of his own conscience Many sorrows shall be to the wicked but he that trusteth in the Lord mercy shall compass him about so that the righteous and upright of heart the holy penitent may be glad in the Lord and take joy and delight themselves in the Lord he and he onely that is reformed hath those comforts and delights which wicked men know not nor can ever attain unto as long as they continue wicked S. 59 David though a great and potent Monarch found not that happiness in his crown which the world may think to be a felicity He doth not say I am a King and have many subjects at my command and a large dominion and much revenue Psal 4.6 7 8. and therefore am happy no but when he would comfort his soul and recount his worth and treasures saith Lord lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us give David but Gods favour and love and he will single out him from all to make his joy full and his happiness complete Lord thou hast put gladness in my heart more then in he time when their corn and wine was