wrung her hands but tore her haire from her head uttering such lowd cries and ejulations that she was much pitied in regard they feared that the very sorrow for his death would distract her of her senses Divers came about her to comfort her and they had much adoe to keepe her from leaping into his grave The like she did comming backe At length one that was a widower and well knowne unto her stept towards her to lead her home by the arme and spake divers comfortable words unto her To whom she answered No she was undone for ever for she was left a lone woman and a widow and had none to manage her affaires or to guide her family Who replied Let not that be your care I am you know a widower and if it please you to accept of me my suit is that I may be your second husband To whom she still weeping and howling made answer I thanke you neighbour for your good will and friendly offer but indeed you speake too late for I have already past my faith and promise to another One related unto me of one who pretended great purity and modesty who could not endure any uâ—civill speech or obscene talke and one indeed whom all the young men desired their wives to pattern themselveâ— by she being brought to bed of a boy which was her first child as soone as the child was borne all the women came about it and every one gave their censure of him and concluded it was â— sweet babe and like the father which shee hearing rowsing her selfe as well as she was able said Why I pray you neighbours hath it a shaven crowne which put them in mind of a young Friar who had often before frequented the house A Rusticke having the day before beaten his wife for reading a Lecture unto him somewhat too lowd sent her the next day with a Sow to the market to sell. Her way lying through a parke or thicke wood and she driving the Swine before her with a cord tied to the hinder leg a young Clowne of her former acquaintance and who had long beene a suitor to her to corrupt her chastity but never prevailing overtooke her just as she was entring into the thicket and having first given her the good morrow began earnestly to importune her about his former fuit alledging amongst other things the opportunity of time and place but she still obstinately denied him and in such rigorous words that seeing her resolution he forbare to speake of it any further and began to talke of other things But when she perceived they were almost out of the forrest and that they were ready to come into the open fields and remembring how churlishly her husband had dealt with her the day before she began thus to break with him and say You spake unto me even now of a businesse I know not what and urged me to a thing which I may be sorry for I know not when but if I should now be so mad or foolish to yeeld to your request I pray you in the meane time where can you find a tree in all this 〈◊〉 to which to tie the Sow Which being apprehended by the other she found occasion to revenge her selfe upon her husband And this is growne to be a common Proverb in other Countries But if I should be so foolish as to yeeld unto you where in the meane time can you find a fit tree to which to tie the Sow From the Countrey I come now to the City CHAP. IX How Curtaine Lectures are read in the Citie and how severally read by sundrie Tradesmens wives with variety of delightfull histories to that purpose THere be foure things saith mine Authour which women most covet To be beloved of young men To be the mothers of fine children To weare rich and costly clothes and to domineere and beare rule in their houses A Tailor in the Citie who kept his wife very gallant who was indeed a very choice girle and well became those cloathes which she wore before he had beene married a full twelve-moneth perceiving divers young Citizens and other Gallants often to pass by his doore and sometimes make impertinent businesse to his house he thinking to prevent the worst call'd up his wife one day into a private chamber and began to question her about sundry things of which the woman was meerely innocent all this would not perswade the man but being absolutely jealous of her honesty he began to schoole her in very rough and course language which wakened a fire in her bosome which till then lay hid and now brake forth at her tongue Then she told him what matches she might have had when she was a maid and what fortunes she had neglected in making choice of him how she might have beene married to a man and now she had cast her selfe away upon a Tailor with the like in so much that when shee had once begun she knew not how to make an end but call'd him foole and jealous coxcomb putting him to such a silence that he had not one word to utter but waiting till the storme was over he then began to flatter her and give her the best language that he could devise with which they were reconciled betweene themselves and made friends He then began to breake with her further that for their continuance of love and to avoid all suspicion or controversie that might after arise betwixt them she would sweare unto certaine Articles which he would propound unto her Who answered she would with all her heart but upon condition that afterall he would sweare her also to one thing which her selfe would propound Who gladly answered that he would This being constantly agreed betwixt them he began thus Sweet wife will you never depart over this threshold without my leave but acquaint me first with the businesse which you goe about Who answered him Sweet husband I will Next saith he Will you never offer to cast a wanton glance upon any man Or whosoever shall offer to tempt your chastity to deliver unto me his name Willingly saith she Will you also sweare saith he whilst you live to be true 〈◊〉 my bed and never 〈◊〉 that conjugall tie 〈◊〉 is past betwixt uâ— Who answered With all my heart And observing his palpable jealousie asked him if these vvere all Who answered Yes and withall sweet wife saith he novv vvhat is that further vvhich you deâ—ire that I should bind you to by oath Who replied Onely this svveet husband that after these oathes taken you vvill svveare me that I shall not keepe any one of these articles vvhich you vvould have me svvorne to Which said she stept out of the chamber dovvne into the kitchin and left him ruminating upon this ansvver Another Tradesmans wife for I vvill name no particular Trade to avoid offence her husband being at a Faire in the Countrey the Foreman of his shop vvhom he had left to manage his affaires at home
his owne desire and fancy his wife then sitting by him he said Now God be thanked I have finisht my Basket and I pray thee wife say so too But she being refâ—actory and obstinate held her tongue and the more he intreated her the more adverse shee was to him giving him foule and course language Which 〈◊〉 not able to endure fell upon her with a good cudgell and beat her till she was forc'd to crie out A Noble man comming then by accidentally with a great traine aâ— his heeles finding her weeping began at first to commiserate the woman and to chide the man for striking her but being by him truely informed of the cause he commended the fellow for justly correcting her disâ—â— bedience and told her 〈◊〉 had her mends in her 〈◊〉 hands so left them and rid home to his house At supper he related all the circumstance before discoursed to his Lady and asked her opinion of the matter Who answered The Basket-maker vvas a Knave to offer to beat his wife upon so sleight an occasion Who replied unto her Why Madam vvould you be so perverse and obstinate unto me if I should command you to speake these words Indeed my Lord answered she I would How saith he I charge you to say these vvords before all this company God be thanked I have finisht my Basket Who answered againe My Lord I vvill die before I vvill doe it At vvhich he mightily enraged rose from the table and taking a battoone in his hand had he not beene held by maine force by his noble guests and his Gentlemen about him there had been as greaâ— a fray betwixt them as there vvas vvith the Basket-maker and the shrew his vvife Now what manner of Lecture she read after to her Lord I cannot relate being then not present to heare it CHAP. XI Twelve things that have been the Authors of much mischeife Of the famous and notorious scold Xantippe A Curtaine Lecture read by a Queene to her Husband worthy all womens imitation TWelve things have bin the Authours of much mischiefe Age without wisdome Prudence without imployment A Master of an house without a familie Pride without riches Riches without honour Nobilitie without vertue A people without awe A Citie without Lawes Office without clemencie Youth without feare A religious life without peace A woman without shame And such an one was Xantippe the wife of Socrates of whom we will speake something onely to shew that there have been scolds of old as there bee now Some report that hee kept two wives at once the one Myrtho the other the aforenamed Xantippe And to a friend of his earnestly demanding why hee kept two such women at once under one roofe especially being scolding queanes ever brauling and chiding and did not beat them out of his doores and confine them his familie hee made answer These women teach mee at home the patience that I must use in sufferance abroad for being throughly exercised with these I shall be the better able to endure the morosity of others Upon a time when Xantippe in the open Market place had plucked his cloake from his backe and such of his friends as saw it said unto him Why Socrates do you not correct this impudent outrage in her and chastice her soundly for it replied to tâ—em Yea marry that were a jest indeed that when we two be together by the eares all the whole market folke looking uponus may cry Hold thine own Socrates To him Xantippe by which meanes wee shall bee made a derision to all men Another time one Euthidemus a Philosopher and one of his most intimate friends comming from the wrastling place Sâ—crates meeting with him invited him home to supper the meat being set on the table and they being in an earnest discourse more minding to argue than to eat Xantippe being therewith very angry rose up from the place where shee sat and wished them choaked with their prating if they would not fall to their victuals whilst they were hot giving her husband very bitter and despightfull words but they by custome being nothing therewith moved talked on which she seeing tipped up the table over and over and flung downe all that was upon it to the ground and so went out of the roome But when Euthidemus being very much moved therewith offered to rise up and to depart the house Nay stay good friend saith Socrates what harme hath shee done did not the like thing happen unto you the last time you bad me home to dinner when an hen leaping up amongst us cast downe and spoyled whatsoever was upon the table yet did we who were then your guests onely laugh at the accident and neither fret nor fume as you now seeme to doe The same Socrates after hee had indured his wives bitter railing in the house at last being wearied therewith hee went out and sat upon a bench that sided the street doore Shee at his departure being much more incensed in regard of his silence and quietnesse as giving her no more argument to speake of she presently seeing where he sat went up into the garret and poured downe a chamber pot full of stinking water upon his head at which those that passed by fell into a great laughter which seeing he laughed as loud as they said Nay I thought veâ—ily and was confident thereon that after so loud thunder there must needs follow a violent shower of raine But I have done with Socrates wishing that all such as have the like shrewes as hee had might be indued with the like patience to indure them I come now and that I propose to be the conclusion of this worke to tell you of a curtaine Lecture read by a vertuous Queene to the King her Husband super-exceeding all the former and worthy the observation and imitation of all good women of what estate and condition soever The Historie thus followeth Amongst the Kings of Arragon there was one Don Pedro vulgarly Don Peter the seventh of that name but before his Inauguration Count of Barcellonas who tooke to wife a beautifull young Ladie called Donna Maria daughter to the Earle of Mount Pesulia and Nephew to the Emperour of Constantinople who notwithstanding shee was plenally furnished with all the accomplishments both of nature and grace as knowing that beautie annext with vertue purchaseth praise with immortality and that as another saith if chastity and good name be lost there is nothing left in women that can be praise-worthie and that she knew withall that true vertue was the beautie of the soule the grace of the bodie and the peace of the mind and that it might bee said of her as Seneca in Hercule Furente speakes of Megera the wife of Hercules Gravent Catenae corpuâ— long a fame Mors protrahatur lenta non vincit fidem c. Although my bodie be opprest with chaines And famine by a lingring death constraines My wearie life no violence shall decline My faith from
A Curtaine Lecture When Wiues preach 't is not in the Husbands power To haue their Lectures end within an hower If Hee with patience stay till shee haue donn Shee 'l not conclude till 〈…〉 A CURTAINE LECTURE As it is read By a Countrey Farmers wife to her Good man By a Countrey Gentlewoman or Lady to her Esquire or Knight By a Souldiers wife to her Captain or Lievtenant By a Citizens or Tradesmans wife to her husband By a Court Lady to her Lord. Concluding with an imitable Lecture read by a Queene to her Soveraigne Lord and King LONDON Printed by ROBERT YOUNG for Iohn Aston 1637. To the generous Reader but especially to Bachelours and Virgins THis Age affording more Poets than Patrons for nine Muses may travell long ere they can find one Mecoenas made mee at a stand to whom I might commend the dedication of this small Tractate especially bearing this Title To any Matron I durst not though never so modest lest her conscience might alledge unto her she had beene guilty of reading the like Lectures To a Married man I feared to doe it lest having beene often terrified with his Curtaine clamours I might rather add to his affliction than insinuate into his affection Therefore to you O single Batchelours and singular Virgins I recommend both the patronage and perusall of these papers and the rather because in you it can neither breed distrust nor beget distaste the Maides not comming yet to reade nor the Young men to be Auditors But howsoever I proclaime this worke free from all offence either to the single or the double Marriage is honourable and therefore I say unto thee Marrie feare nothing Audaces fortuna juvat for it may be suspected if there were fewer Bachelours there would be more honest wives therefore I say againe Marry at all adventure If thou hast children thinke them thine owne though they be not thou art sure to have a wife of thine own though the issue be another mans Be valiant feare not words they are but wind and you live at land and not at sea with which admonishment and encouragement withall I bid you generously farewell T. H. The Contents of the book comprised in these following Chapters CHAP. I. RAre things in women Nature teacheth them modesty Of those that inveigh against their sexe Many illustrious women remembred as presidents for others to imitate Fol. 1 CHAP. II. Of Virginitie and the excellencie thereof The punishment of the incestuous Vestalls How chastity was honoured amongst the ancient Spartans How farre Virgins may extend their words writing or gestures 24 CHAP. III. Encouragement to young Virgins and Damosells to behave themselves well in their single estate that they may become eminent Wives and Matrons by the example of others drawne from divâ—rs selected histories 48 CHAP. IV. Of election or choice before marriâ—age The conveniences and inconveniences belonging unto marriage disputed and compared with the honour and dignity thereof 72 CHAP. V. How Parents ought to dispose of their Daughters The miseries of inforced contracts The maner of marriage amongst the Romans the ancient Britans the Gaules the Germans c. 96 CHAP. VI. How marriage is solemnized amâ—ngst the Russians the Gaules the Assyrians the Greekes the Namasanes the Scots c. The honour of marriage and of twelve impediments that may hinder it 119. CHAP. VII What maner of Lectures wives in the Countrey reade to their husbands The severall dispositions of wives and humours of husbands illustrated by divers selected histories The morosity of the marriage bed 114 CHAP. VIII The love that ought to be betwixt man and wife A reason given why women speak more and much lowder than men Of a simple married woman Divers other histories of pleasant passages in the Countrey 170 CHAP. IX How Curtaine Lectures are read in the City and how severally read by sundry Tradesmens wives with varietie of delightfull histories to that purpose 192 CHAP. X. Pleasant discourse betwixt a Noble man and a Merchant Lectures read by Countrey Gentlewomen and Ladies to their Esquireâ— and Knights By the Souldiers wife to her Captain or Lievtenant And of Court Ladies to their Lords 218 CHAP. XI Twelve things that have bin the Authors of much mischiefe Of the famous and notorious scold Xantippe the wife of Socrates And of a Curtaine Lecture read by a Queene to her husband worthy all good and vertuous womens imitation 241 FINIS A CURTAINE LECTURE CHAP. I. Rare things in women Nature teacheth them modesty Of those that inveigh against their sexe Many illustrious women remembred as presidents for others to imitate IT was the opinion of Pythagoras that a serpent is engendered from the marrow in the backe bone of a man deceased and cast into the fields without buriall upon which it is observed that as the fall and death of man came by the serpent so the life of the serpent comes by the death of man And since the first back-sliding of Adam there hath beene such an antipathy betwixt the seed of the woman and the serpent that if the naked sole of her foot shall tread upon his head though never so lightly yet the weight thereof is more ponderous and fatall unto him than if he were beaten with mallets or a rocke or mountain should precipitate it selfe upon him for with her bare touch he instantly expireth But if hee shall but bite the heele of a man for at that still is his aime the poison disperseth it selfe through all the parts of his body from which proceedeth speedy and inevitable death A second thing worthy remarke is to consider how provident nature hath beene to teach women bashfulnesse and modesty in their lives by concealing their immodest parts after their deaths for it is familiar amongst us that if a man be drown'd his gallis no sooner burst but he riseth with his face upward but if a woman perish in the water she swims with her face downward of which some give this reason Omne leve fertur sursum c. As every light thing naturally ascends up into the aire and that which is weighty stoopeth it selfe downe to the earth so a man being broad and heavie in the shoulders and but thin and light in the breasts the more ponderous parts sinke and those lesse heavie appeare above the waters when on the contrary a woman being narrow and spare shouldred but more fleshie and tumerous in the breast by the weight thereof they smother and obscure her modest cheekes in the water as if even in death she apprehended that the rest were unseemly to be exposed unto the aire But in this my progresse intended to the praise of their much honoured sexe I encountred with many difficulties and interposures able to deterre me from my purpose for in turning over the leaves of some both moderne and forreigne writers I have met with so many satyricall invectives aimed directly against it and some of them so pathetically bitter that I am halfe perswaded