rest he 's one that I must thanke With his good wife and honest brother Frank. Now for the City 'T is of state and Port Where Emperors Kings haue kept their Court 939 yeere the foundation Was layd before our Sauiours Incarnation By * Ebrank was the fift K. of Britain after Brule Ebrank who a Temple there did reare And plac'd a * An Arch-Flamâ—â— which was as an idolatrous high Priest to Dians Flammin to Diana there But when King Lucius here the Scepter swaid The Idols leuell with the ground were layd Then Eleutherius Romes high Bishop plac'd An Archbishop at Yorke with Titles grac'd Then after Christ 627. Was Edwin * Edwin and his whole family were baptized on Easter day the 12. of Aprill 6 7â— baptiz'd by the grace of heauen He pluck'd the Minster down that then was wood And made it stone a deed both great and good The City oft hath knowne the chance of warres Of cruell forraigne and of home-bred iarres And those that further please thereof to read May turne the volumes of great Hollinshead 'T is large 't is pleasant and magnificent The Norths most fertile famous ornament 'T is rich and populous and hath indeed No want of any thing to serue their need Abundance doth that noble City make Much abler to bestow then need to take So farewell Yorke * Yorkshire the greatest shire in England and 308. â—â—â— about Speed the tenth of August then Away came I for London with my men To dinner I to Pomfret quickly rode Where good hot Venison staid for my abode I thanke the worshipfull George Shillito He fill'd my men and me and let vs goe There did I well view ouer twice or thrice A strong a faire and ancient Edifice Reedifi'd where it was ruin'd most At th' high and hopefull Prince * Pomfret Castle of Wales his cost I saw the roome where Exton * Prince Charles and his rowt Of Traytors Royall Richards braines beat out And if that King did strike so many blowes As hackes and hewes vpon one pillar showes There are one hundred slashes he withstood Before the Villaines shed his Kingly blood From Pomfret then vnto my noble friend Sir Robert Swift at Doncaster we wend An ancient Knight of a most generous spirit Who made me welcome farre beyond my merit From thence by Newarke I to Stamâ—ord past And so in time to London at the last With friends and neighbors all with louing hearts Did welcome me with pottles pintes and quarts Which made my Muse more glib and blythe to tell Thistory of my Voyage So farewell * Sir Pierce of Exton Knight King Richard the second murdered there An Epilogue Thus haue I brought to end a worke of paine I wish it may requite me with some game For well I wote the dangers where I ventered No full bag'd man would euer durst haue entered But hauing further shores for to discouer Hereafter now my Pen doth here giue ouer FINIS THE GREAT O TOOLE ENglands Scotlands Irelands Mirror Mars his fellow Rebels Terror These lines doe gallop for their pleasure Writ with neither feet or measure Because Prose Verse or Anticko Story Cannot Blaze O Tooles great Glory GReat Moguls Landlord and both Indies King Whose selfe-admiring Fame dot â— lowdly ring Writes 4. score yeeres More Kingdomes he hath right to The Starres say so And for them be wiâ— Fight toâ— And though this worthlesse Age will not beleeue him But clatter spatter slander scoffe and grieue him Yet he and all the world in this agree That such another TOOLE will deuer bee AN ENCOMIVM OR ENCO-MI-ASS TRICK DEDICATED TO THE VNLIMITED memory of Arthur O Toole or O Toole the Great Being the Sonne and Heire of Brian O Toole Lord of Poores Court and farre Collen in the County of Dublin in the Kingdome of Ireland The Marâ— and Mercury the Agamemnon and Vlisses both for Wisdome and Valour in the Kingdomes of Great Britaine and Ireland Prologue BRaue Vsquebough that fierce Hibernian liquor Assist my braine and make my wit run quicker To heat my Muse like to a well warm'd Chimney I beg thy merry ayde kinde Polyhimny I list not to call Fables into question Nor of Baboones or idle bables jest I on And yet if Sence or reason heere you looke for For neither or for either read this Booke for And if perchance I doe in any word lye Doe as I writ it reade it o'r absurdly Though in these daies there are a Crew of fond men That for inuention striue to goe beyond men And write so humerous Dogmaticall To please my Lord and Lady what d' ee Cail With Inkehorne tearms stiffe quilted bumbastâ—â— And though not vnderstood yet are well tasted And therefore I 'l not reach beyond the bounds of My weake capacity nor search the sounds of Deepe Natures secrets or Arts spacious cirquit My Muse is free from those my selfe will her quâ— But leauing idle toyes with toyle endure I on To write the praise of this braue bold Centutiâ—â— THE ARGVMENT AND MEANING of this following History IN all Ages and Countries it hath euer bin knowne that Famous men haue florished whose worthy Actions and Eminency of place haue euer beene as conspicuous Beacons Burning and blazing to the Spectators view the sparkes and flames whereof hath sometimes kindled Courage in the most coldest and Effeminate Cowards as Thersites amongst the Grecians Amadis de Gaule Sir Huon of Burdeaux in France Sir Beuis Gogmagog Chinon Palmerin Lancelot and Sir Tristram amongst vs here in England Sir Degre Sir Grime and Sir Gray Steele in Scotland Don Quixot with the Spaniards Gargantua almost no where Sir Dagonet and Sir Triamore any where all these and many more of the like Raâ—â— haue fill'd whole Volumes with the ayrie Imaginations of their vnknowne and vnmatchable worths Sâ— Ireland amongst the rest had the Honor to produce and breed a sparke of Valour Wisedome and Magninimity to whom all the Nations of the world must giue place The Great O Toole is the toole that my Muse takes in hand whose praises if they should be set forth to the full would make Apollo and the Muses Barren To whom the nine Worthies were neuer to be compared betwixt whom and Haniball Scipio the Great Pompey or Tamberlaine was such oddes that it was vnfit the best of them should â—ell his stirrop and who by his owne Report in whom Ireland may reioyce and England be merry whose Youth was Dedicated to Mars and his Age to Westminster which ancient Cittie is now honour'd with his beloued Residence To the Honour of the Noble CAPTAINE O TOOLE THou Famous man East West and North and Southward â—om Boreas cold rump t' Austers slauering mouthward â—all Apolloes daughters all to witnes â—uch would I praise thee but my Wit wants fitnesâ— â—â— thou thy selfe of thy selfe canst speake so-well â—â—ut though my Rimes not altogether goe-well â—â—et if the worlds applause would not
Steward be Which at the last the Lord shall faithfull finde Heart tongue or eyes cannot thinke speake or see The glory that to him shall be assignde He shall out-passe the Angells in degree He shall out-shine all Starres that euer shinde He shall for euer and for euer sing Eternall prayses to his God and King 85 Vnto which God the Father first and last Whose goodnes all conseru's preseru's and seeds To God the Sonne whose merits downe hath cast Sinne death and hell due vnto sinners meeds To thee O Holy Ghost that euer wast The blessing that from Sire and Sonne proceeds And to the vn-deuided Three in One All Power and Praise and Glory be alone FINIS TO THE TRVELY VVORTHY AND RIGHT HONOVRABLE IOHN MORAY L. VISCOVNT ANNAN EARLE OF Annandale one of the Gentlemen of his Maiesties Royall Bed-chamber Earths Honours and Heauens happinesse THis Booke Good Sir the issue of my braine Though farre vnworthy of your worthy view Yet I in duty offer it to you In hope you Gently it will entertaine And though the Method and the Phrase be plaine Not Artlike writ as to the stile is due Yet is it voyde of any thing vntrue And truth I know your fauour shall obtaine The many fauours I from you haue had Hath forc'd me thus to shew my thankefull minde And of all faults I know no vice so bad And hatefull as ingratefully inclinde A thankefull Heart is all a poore mans pelfe Which with this Booke I giue your Worthy Selfe Your Worships euer most obliged IOHN TAYLOR THE SEVERALL SIEGES ASSAVLTS SACKINGS AND FINALL DESTRVCTION OF the Famous Ancient and memorable Citty of IERVSALEM THe Iustice Mercy and the Might I sing Of heau'ns inst mercifull Almighty KING By whose fore-knowledge all things were elected Whose power hath all things made al protected Whose Mercies flood hath quencht his Iustice flame Who was is shall be One and still the same Who in the Prime when all things first began Made all for Man and for himselfe made Man Made not begotten or of humane birth No Sire but God no Mother but the Earth Who ne'r knew Childhood of the â—ucking teate But at the first was made a man compleat Whose inward Soule in God-like forme did shine As Image of the Maiestie Diuine Whose supernaturall wisedome beyond Nature Did name each sensible and sencelesse creature And from whose Star-like Sand-like Generation Sprung euery Kindred Kingdome Tribe and Nation All people then one language spake alone Interpreters the world then needed none There liued then no learned deepe Grammarians There were no Turkes no Scythians no Tartarians Then all was one and one was onely all The language of the vniuersall Ball. Then if a Traueller had gone as farre As from the Artick to th' Antartick starre If he from Boreas vnto Auster went Or from the Orient to th' Occident Which way soeuer he did â—â—â— or minde He had beene sure his Country-man to find One hundred thirty winters since the Flood The Earth one onely language vnderstood Vntill the sonne of Cush the sonne of Cham A proud cloud-scaling Towre began to frame Trusting that if the world againe were drown'd He in his lofty building might rest sound All future Floods he purposd to preuent Aspiring to Heau'ns glorious Battlement But high Iehouah with a puff was able To make ambitious Babel out a bable For what is man that he should dare resist The great Almighties pow'r who in his fist Doth gripe Eternity and when he please Can make and vnmake Heau'n and Earth Seas For in their expectation of conclusion He plag'd them all with sundry Tongues confusion Such Gibrish Gibble Gabble all did tangle Some laugh some fret all prate all diffring wrangle One calls in Hebrew to his working Mate And he in Welch Glough wheâ— Comrage doth prate Another gapes in English or in Scotch And they are answer'd in the French or Dutch Caldaicke Syriacke and Arabian Greeke Latine Tuscan and Armenian The Transiluaniae and Hungarian The Persian and the rude Barbarian All these and diuers more then I can number Misunderstanding tongues did there incumber Thus he that sits in Heau'n their plots derided And in their height of pride their tongues deuided For in this sudden vnexpected chang The wife and husband Sire and sonne were strange The Brother could not vnderstand the Brother The Daughter stands amazed at her Mother By euery one a seuerall part is acted And each vnto the other seemesdistracted Thus by the iustice of the Lord of Hosts Each seuerall tongue was driu'n to seuerall coasts And GOD peculiar to himselfe did chuse His most beloued yet hard-hearted Iewes Iehouahs honor with them then did dwetl His name was onely knowne in Israel Salem his habitation was of yore In Sion men his Glory did adore Th' Eternall Trine and Trine Eternall One In Iury then was called on alone The sonnes of Heber were the adopted stocke Gods onely Chosen holy sacred Flocke Amongst all Nations them he onely lik'd And for his owne vse them he culd and pik'd Them his sin-killing sauing word he gaue T' instruct them what condemn'd and what would saue To them he gaue his word his Couenants band His Patriarks his Prophets and his hand Did blesse defend instruct correct and guide The Iewes and no one Nation else beside For them a world of wonders hath he done To them he sent his best begotten Sonne On them a Land he freely did bestow Where milke and hony plentiously did flow With them he was till they from him did turne And wilfully against his blessings spurne All heau'nly earthly Soules or Bodies good They lack'd no temp'rall or eternall food His Temple builded in Ierusalem Where he had daily sacrifice from them Where though their seruice was defect and lame Th' Almighties mercy did accept the same For though Mans sin is great God hath decreed To take his best endeuour for a deed And whilst they in his loue and feare abode They were his people he their gracious God But when impieties began to breed And ouergrow old Iacobs sacred seed When they from good to bad began to fall From ill to worse from worst to worst of all When Gods great mercies could not them allure And his sharp threatnings could not them procure When each ones body was vnto the soule A lothsome Dungeon to a prisoner foule When sin al shamelesse the whole Land o'rspreads Then God threw dreadful vengeance on their heads And for their heynous heaping sin on sin Ierusalem hath oft assaulted bin First Shishak Egypts King with might and maine Made hauock there in Rehoboams Raigne The Citty Temple Golden vessels Shielas All as a prey to the Egyptians yeelds Next loas came the King of Israel In Amaziahs dayes with fury fell He brought Iudea to Samariaes thrall King Kingdome Princes Peeres and people all Then thirdly Rezin King of Aram came In Abaz time with sword and furious flame Th' Assyrian great Zonach'rib was
the seditious kill'd That with the stench of bodies putrifide A number numberles of people dyde And buriall to the dead they yeelded not But where they fell they let them stinke and rot That plague and sword and famine all three stroue Which should most bodies froÌ„ their soules remoue Vnsensible of one anothers woes The Soldiers then the liueles corpses throwes By hundreds and by thousands o're the walls Which when the Romans saw their dismall falls They told to Titus which when he perceiu'd He wept and vp t'ward heau'n his hands he heau'd And called on GOD to witnes with him this These slaughters were no thought or fault of his Those wretches that could scape from out the City Amongst their foes found â—oth reliefe and pity If the seditious any catch that fled Without remorse they straitway strook him dead Another misery I must vnfold A many Iewes had swallow'd store of gold Which they supposd should help them in their need But from this treasure did their â—aâ—e proceed For being by their en'mies fed and cherisht The gold was cause that many of them perisht Amongst them all one poore vnhappy creature Went priuatly to doe the need of Nature And in his Ordure for the Gold did looke Where being by the straggling soldiers tooke They ript him vp and searcht his maw to finde What Gold or Treasure there remain'd behind In this sort whilst the soldiers gap'd for gaine Was many a man and woman ript and slaine In some they found gold and in many none For had they gold or not gold all was one They were vnboweld by the barb'rous foe And search'd if they had any gold or no. But now my Story briefly to conclude Vespasians forces had the walls subdude And his triumphant Banner was displaide Amidst the streets which made the Iewes dismaid Who desp'rate to the Temple did retire Which with vngodly hands they set on fire Whilst Noble Titus with exceeding care Entreated them they would their Temple spare Oh saue that house quoth he ô quench oh slake And I will spare you for that Houses sake Oh let not after-times report a Storie That you haue burnt the worlds vnmatched glory For your owne sakes your children and your wiues If you doe looke for pardon for your liues If you expect grace from Vespasians hand Then saue your Temple Titus doth command The Iewes with hearts hard offred mercy heard But neither mercy or themselues regard They burnd and in their madnes did confound King Salomons great Temple to the ground That Temple which did thirty millions cost Was in a moment all consum'd and lost The blest Sanctum Sanctorum holiest place Blest oft with high Iehouahs sacred Grace Where at one offring as the Text sayes plaine Were two and twenty thousand Oxen slaine One hundred twenty thousand Sheepe beside At the same time for an oblation dide That house of God which raignes aboue the thunder Whose glorious fame made all the world to woÌ„der Was burnt and ransackt spight of humane aide And leuell with the lowly ground was laid Which when Vespasian and young Titus saw They cride kill kill vse speed and marshall Lavv The Roman soldiers then inspirde with rage Spard none slew all respect no sex or age The streets were drowned in a purple flood And slaughterd carcasses did swim in blood They slew whilst there were any left to slay The ablest men for slaues they bare away Iohn Simon and Eleazer wicked fiends As they deseru'd were brought to violent ends And from the time the Romanes did begin The siege vntill they did the Citty win Sedition sword fire famine all depriues Eleuen hundred thousand of their liues Besides one hundred thousand at the least Were tane and sold as each had beene a beast And from the time it was at first erected Till by the Remanes it was last deiected It stood as it in histories appeares Twenty one hundred seuenty and nine yeeres But yet ere God his vengeance downe did throw What strange prodigious wonders did he show As warnings how they should destruction shun And cause them to repent for deeds misdon First the Firmament Th' offended Lord Shewd them a Comet like a fiery sword The Temple and the Altar diuers nights Were all enuiron'd with bright burning lights And in the middest of the Temple there Vnnat'rally a Cow a Lambe did beare The Temples brazen gate no bolts restraine But of it selfe it open flew amaine Arm'd Men and Chariots in the Ayre assembled The pondrous Earth affrighted quak'd trembled A voyce cride in the Temple to this sence Let vs depart let vs depart from hence These supernat'rall accidents in summe Foretold some fearefull iudgement was to come But yet the Iewes accounted them as toyes Or scarcrow buggâ—beares to fright wanton â—oyes Secure they reuell'd in Ierusalem They thought these signes against their foes not them But yet when â—â—â—â— and death had all perform'd When ruine spoyle furious flames had storm'd Who then the desolated place had seene Would not haue knowne there had a Citty beene Thus Iuda and Ierusalem all fell Thus was fulfill'd what Christ did once foretell Sad deseletion all their ioyes bereft And one stone on another was not left FINIS TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE AND TRVELY VER I VOVS LADY and Noble Patronesse of good endeauours MARY Countesse of BVCKINGHAM Right Honourable Madame AS the Graces the Vertues the Senses and the Muses are emblem'd or alluded to your Noble sex and as all these haue ample residence in your worthy disposition To whom then but to your selfe being a Lady in goodnesse compleat should I commit the patronage of the memory of the great Lady of Ladies Mother to the High and Mighty Lord of Lords And though I a Taylor haue not apparell'd her in such garments of elocution and ornated stile as befits the glory and eminency of the least part of her Excellency yet I beseech your Honor to accepther for your owne worth and her Sonnes worthinesse which Son of hers by his owne merits and the powerfull mercy of his Father I heartily implore to giue your Honour a participation of his gracious Mothers eternall felicity Your Honours in all humble seruice to be commanded IOHN TAYLOR The Argument and cause of this Poem BEing lately in Antwerpe it was my fortune to ouerlooke an old printed booke in prose which I haue turned into verse of the life death and buriall of our blessed Lady wherein I read many things worthy of obseruation and many things friuolous and impertinent out of which I haue like a Bee suckt the sacred honey of the best authorities of Scriptures and Fathers which I best credited and I haue left the poyson of Antichristianisme to those where I found it whose stomackes can better digest it I haue put it to the Presse presuming it shall be accepted of Pious Protestants and charitable Catholikes as for luke-warme Nutarlists that are neither hot nor cold they doe offend my appetite and
should haue a Nation purg'd and pure And as Elizabeth when she went hence Was wayted on as did be seeme a Prince Of all degrees to tend her Maiestie Neere forty thousand in that yeere did dye That as she was belou'd of high and lowe So at her death their deaths their loues did showe Whereby the world did note Elizabeth Was louingly attended after death So mighty Iames the worlds admired mireur True faiths defending friend sterne Foe to Errour When he Great Britains glorious Crown did leaue A Crowne of endlesse glory to receaue Then presently in lesse then eight months space Full eighty thousand follow him a pace And now that Royall Iames intombed lyes And that onr gracious Charles his roome supplies As Heau'n did for his Father formerly A sinfull Nation cleanse and purifie So God for him these things to passe doth bring And mends the Subiects for so good a King Vpon whose Throne may peace and plenty rest And he and his Eternally be blest NOw for a Conclusion in Prose I must haue one touch more at the vncharitablenesse and ingratitude of those beastly barbarous cruell Country Canibals whom neither the entreaty of the healthy or misery of the sicke could moue to any sparke of humanity or Christian compassion their ingratitude being such that although the Citty of London hath continually extended her bounty towards the Countries in generall and particular necessities for repairing their Churches Bridges and high wayes for their wrackes by sea for their losses by fire for their â—inundations by water for many Free-scholes Alme-houses other workes of piety and charity most largely and aboundantly expressed and most apparantly knowne vnto them yet notwithstanding all these and much more then I can recollect these Grunting Girigashites these Hog-rubbing Gadarens suffers the distressed sonnes and daughters of this famous fostering City to languish pine starue and dye in their streetes fields ditches and high-wayes giuing or allowing them no reliefe whilest they liued or burials being dead whose liues in many places might haue beene saued with the harbours and entertainment which the currish Nabals did afford their swine They haue their excuses and by the fault of their hard-heartednesse vpon the strict command from the Iustices and Magistrates alas a staffe is quickely found to beate a dogg for let it be granted that the Iustices and men of Authoritie did command and counsell then to be wary and carefull yet I am sure that neither God or any Christian or good Magistrate did euer command or exhort them to be cruell vnmercifull vnthankefull barbarous inhumane or vncharitable for it there were â—â— are any either Iustice or other of that hellis and hoggish disposition let him or them expect to howle with Diues for being so vncompassionate What haue you beene but murtherers of your Christian brethren and sisters for the rule of charity saith that whosoeuer heeor they be that may relieue or helpe the necessities of others and doth reiect or neglect it by which meanes those that are in want doe perish that they are murtherers and as many of our Country Innes and Ale-houses haue vnchang'd their signes because they will giue no harbour vpon any condition to neither whole or sicke so without Repentance and Gods great mercy some of them must expect to hang in hell for their inhospitable want or pittie What madnesse did possesse you did you thinke that none but Citizens were marked for death that onely a blacke or ciuill fuâ— of apparell with a Ruffe-band was onely the Plagues liuery No you shall find it otherwayes for a Russet Coat or a sheepe-skin couer is no Armour of proofe against Gods Arrowes though you shut vp barracado your dores and windowes as hard as your hearts and heads were Ramd against your distressed brethren yet death will find you and leaue you to iudgement The Booke of God doth yeeld vs many presidents and examples that we are to be carefull to preserue life it is madnesse to stand wilfully vnder a falling house or to sleep whilst the water ouer-flow vs to runne desperatly into the fire or not auoid a shot or a stroke of a sword It is lawfull to auoid famine to shun the Leper the great or small Pox and many other diseases for if Physicke be good to restore health it is wisdome to preserue health to preuent Physicke The skilfull Mariner in a dangerous storme or tempest will make the hest haste he can into a safe hauen or a good harbour I am commanded to loue my neighbour and to bee carefull to helpe him in the preseruation of his life and therefore I must be respectfull of mine owne Our Sauiour Christ although he was God omnipotent whose becke or the least of his commands could haue consumed Herod and crushed him and his Tyraâ—ny to nothing yet did he please not to vse the power and strength of his Godhead but for our instruction and example shewing the weaknesse and imbecillity of his humanity hee fled from Herod into Egypt By this which hath beene written it is apparent that it is lawfull for any man to absent himselfe if his calling will permit the same from manifest and approaching danger oâ— his life Beasts Fowles and Fishes will shunne their destruction Wormes and contemptible vermine as lice and slâ—as will crawle creepe and skip to saue themselues from death therefore man that hath being Life Sence Reason and Hope of immortalitie may lawfully seeke his owne preseruation But if there be any that haue out of a slauish or vnchristian-like feare fled or runne-away from this famous City in this lamentable visitation I meane such as left neither prayer or purse to relieue those that vnderwent the grieuous burthens of sickenesse and calamity such as trusted more in the Country aide then in heauenly prouidence such as imagined that their safety was by their owne care and industry not remembring that their sinnes and transgressions haue helped to pull downe Gods wrath vpon their afflicted brethren and Sisters I say if any such there be that attribute their preseruation to their owne discreet carriage giuing the praise to the meanes not much minding the All-sufficient cause and Giuer of the meanes If any such haue fallen into the vncourteous pawes of the sordid Rusticles or Clownish Coridons let them know that Gods blessings are worth thankes and that they were iuslly plagued for their vnthankefulnesse And some haue beene too swift and fearefull in flying so many haue beene too slow and aduenturous in staying depending too much vpon a common and desperate opinion that their times are fixed that their dayes are numbred that their liues are limited so that till God hath appointed they shall not dye and that it lyes not in them or any power of man to lengthen life All these Assertions are true and I must needs grant vnto them But for as much as God is the Land Lord of life and puts it as his Tenants in our frailc Tenements although
the best metals doe grow the Earth is most barren which is an Emblem that they that hoord or hide money are barren of all fruits of goodnesse From rocky barren soyle and sterill grounds Where men did not their Creator know And where the Deuil 's the God to whom they bow There from my Heathen Dam or mother Earth With Paines and trauaile I at first had birth A hundred strong men-midwiues digg'd their way Into her bowels to find where I lay With Engines Spades Crowes Mattocks such matters They ripp'd tore her harmlesse wombe to tatters And but they did within the mid-way catch me They would haue dig'd to Hell it selfe to fetch me At last they found me mixt with dirt and drosse Corruption vnrefin'd eclipst my Glosse And from the Earth I in the fire was tride And into Ingots purg'd and c Purchase purifide From d Polidore Virgil. Menes might be first inuentor of Come in Egypt yet not of a Twelue pence but I thinke money was an Caâ—â—â— time and I am sure that Abraham bought a field for buriall with money Paphlagonia some my birth doe count Neere Sandracugium a most famous Mount And that poore Slaues which were coÌ„demn'd to die Were forc'd to digge for me laboriously Whereas the dampish Mines infecting ayre Kill'd the poore wretches and so eas'd their care Some say that d Polidore Virgil. Menes might be first inuentor of Come in Egypt yet not of a Twelue pence but I thinke money was an Caâ—â—â— time and I am sure that Abraham bought a field for buriall with money Menes an Egyptian King Me to the shape of Coyne at first did bring But when they saw that people greedily For me did runne into all villany The Priests did curse the King that first inuented Me that so many wayes their mindes tormented For till they knew me they affirmed true No Ennie Pride or Auarice they knew Thus with great labour and the death of men I first was borne and afterwards agen He that to Money did conuert me first Was by the Priests and People bann'd and curst With blood and curses I at first began And euer since haue beene a curse to man Yet for me some excuses may be showne The name of Twelue-pence was as then not known Diuersity of Coynes o're all the world Were scatter'd vniuersally and hurld In Courts in Cities and in warlike Campes E're I was made they all vs'd other stamps There were some Sicles some * A small Piece of Spanish Coyne sixe of them to anâ—â— glish penny Meruiades An As a Drochma a Sesterties Quadrens Sextanes Minaes it appeares Didrachmaes and Sportulas and Denteres My name at first did from the Romanes come As Cooper saies they call'd me Solidum Or from a Souldier it was named thus As 't were his daily wages Sollidus For though the Times are subiect to mutation Yet from Soldatus I haue nomination Thus Twelue-pence hath an ancient Warriour bin Although men know not when did begin And by experience all the world can tell Soldatus doth loue Sollidus so well That alwaies euery Souldier is vnwilling Long to be kept asunder from a Shilling If he doth want me a moneth two * Souldiers wanting their pay will want good will to serue A brasse piece of Bohcnuan coyne twelue of them to a penny or three Hee 'll grumble and goe neere to Mutinie He hath no mind to draw his Sword and fight But discontented bids the warres good-night When let but Solidus come to his hand Hee 'll fight as long as he can goe or stand Regarding nor remembring child or wife Hee 'll hazard and endanger limbe and life And thus by way of argument 't is pend A Shilling is a Souldiers loued friend A Shilling's much more ancient then a pound And in pronouncing giues a better found As for example which is most month-filling Of fifty pounds or of a thousand shilling A thousand pounds may make the accent rore But twenty thousand shillings foundeth more Thus of two sillables I am compacted When into one the hounds are all extracted The Germane Dollers are my Iuniers farre So are the Copesticks of the Brabanuer The Spanish Royall piece of foure and eight On me for my antiquity may waite The Floren Guelder and French Cardecue To me are vpstarts if Records be true The Grosh * The Anatomy of Twelue-pence or a shilling Potchandle Stuter Doyte and Sowse Compar'd with me are all scarce worth a Lowse Nor can the Atcheson or the Baubee For my antiquity compare with me The halfe Crowne is on horseback mounted hie Yet neuer trauail'd halfe to farre as I The Scotish Mark 's a dang'reus piece of Coyne 'T is iust a hanging price if one purloyne There is no such hazard in the stealing mee I am three halfe pence lower in degree And as in pence I for a Iury stand I haue eleuen Coynes vnder my command And to grace all the rest my proper selfe Like a Grand Iury-man make vp the Twelfe But for men shall not thinke I bragge or prate Those whom I doe command Ileâ— nominate Nine pence three quarters with his Harpe be friends me And six pence with halfe seruice still attends me The Foure pence halfe penny â—â—â—â— comes siddling on The Grout my third pence doth depend vpon The third-pence is a quarter way for still The two-pence in six parts attends my will Three halfe-pence the â—â—â—â— to my commanding sway And eight of them at once doth me obey The â—â—â—â—â— pence are all my little Cozens And doth attend my seruice by the dozens Three farthings by sixteen attend in plenty And halfe-pence to the summe of some and twenty And last for Pages on my State doth waite Of dapper farthing tokens forty eight But â—'re I did attaine my shape and forme I abid the brunt of many a furious storme I or this the world I would haue well to wot Mine honour was with paines and danger got I past the raging tear and flaming fire And gain'd a face and Crosse for all my hire It would almost dissolue a heart of slint To be so vs'd as I was in the Mint The paines of Purgatory cannot be But actions to these things that fell on me For what I did endure had man but felt It had like Kitchintstuffe haue made him melt Then my Tormentors all at once agrees From my great heat tolet me coole or freeze And dead and cold me then againe they martyr'd Me all in pieces they be cut and quartir'd Weighing the mangled mammoers they pronounce That fiue of me in weight should be an * Fiue shillings weight an ounce ounce Then to the Anuill was I brought in haste Whereas with Hammers they did me bumbaste And there they neuer left belab'ring mee Vntill they brought me to the shape you see Thus I mine honour and my forme did win Through many dreadfull dangers I was in And thought there scarce doth memory remaine What I
That what they could do all they though too little Striuing in loue the Traueller to whittle We went into the house of one Iohn Pinners A man that liues amongst a crue of sinners And there eight seuerall sorts of Ale we had All able to make one starke drunke or mad But I with courage brauely flinched not And gaue the Towne leaue to discharge the shot We had at one time set vpon the Table Good Ale of Hisope 't was no Esope fable Then had we Ale of Sage and Ale of Malt And Ale of Woorme-wood that could make one hair With Ale of Rosemary and Bettony And two Ales more or else I needs must lye But to conclude this drinking Alye tale We had a sort of Ale called Scuruy Ale Thus all these men at their owne charge cost Did striue whose loue should be expressed most And farther to declare their boundlesse loues They saw I wanted and they gaue me Gloues In deed and very deed their loues were such That in their praise I cannot write too much They merit more than I haue here compil'd I lodged at the Eagle and the Child Whereas my Hostesse a good ancient woman Did entertaine me with respect not common She caus'd my Linnen Shirts and Bands be washt And on my way she caus'd me be refresht She gaue me twelue silke points she gaue me Bâ—â—â—â— Which by me much refused at last was taken In troath she prou'd a mother vnto me For which I euermore will thankefull be But when to minde these kindnesses I call Kinde Master Prestwitch Author is of all And yet Sir Vrian Loigh's good Commendation Was the maine ground of this my Recreation From both of them there what I had I had Or else my entertainment had bin bad O all you worthy men of Manchester True bred bloods of the County Lancaster When I forget what you to me haue done Then let me head-long to confusion runne To Noble Master Prestwitch I must giue Thankes vpon thankes as long as I doe liue His loue was such I ne'r can pay the score He farre surpassed all that went before A horse and man he sent with boundlesse bounty To bring me quite through Lancaster large Câ—â—â—â—â— Which I well know is fifty miles at large And he defrayed all the cost and charge This vnlook'd pleasure was to me such pleasure That I can ne'r expresse my thankes with measure So Mistresse Saracoale Hostesse kinde And Manchester with thankes I left behinde The Wednesday being Iulyes twenty nine My Iourney â— to Freston did confine All the day long it rained but one showre Which from the Morning to the Eue'n did powre And I before to Preston I could get Was sowsd and pickeld both with raine and sweâ—â— But there I was supply'd with fire and food And any thing I wanted sweet and good There at the Hinde kinde Master Hinde mine â—â—â—â— Kept a good table bak'd and boyld and rost There Wednesday Thursday Friday I did stay And hardly got from thence on Saturday Vnto my Lodging often did repaire Kinde Master Thomas Banister the Mayer Who is of worship and of good respect And in his charge discreet and circumspect For I protest to God I neuer saw A Towne more wisely Gouern'd by the Law They told me when my Soueraigne there was last That one mans rashnes seemâ—d to giue distast It grieu'd them all but when at last they found His Maiestie was pleasd their ioyes were crown'd He knew the fairest Garden hath some weedes He did accept their kinde intents for deedes One man there was that with his zeale too hot And furious haste himselfe much ouer-shot But what man is so foolish that desires To get good fruit from thistles thornes and bryâ—â—â— Thus much I thought good to demonstrate here Because I saw how much they grieued were That any way the least part of offence Should make them seeme offensiue to their Prince Thus three nights was I staid and le dg'd in Preston And saw nothing ridiculous to lest on Much cost and charge the Mayor vpon me spent And on my way two miles with me he went There by good chance I did more friendship get The vnder Shriefe of Luncashire we met A Gentleman that lou'd and knew me well And one whose bounteous mind doth beare the bell There as if I had bin a noted thiefe The Mayor deliuered me vnto the Shriefe The Shriefes authority did much preuaile He sent me vnto one that kept the layle Thus I perambuling poore Iohn Taylor Was giu'n from Mayor to Shriefe from Shriefe to Taylor The Taylor kept an Inae good beds good cheere Where paying nothing I found nothing deere For the vnder Shriefe kind Master Câ—â—â—ill nam'd A man for house-keeping renown'd and fam'd Did cause the Towne of Lancaster afford Me welcome as if I had beene a Lord. And 't is reported that for daily bounty His mate can scarce be found in all that County Th' extremes of mizer or of prodigall He shunnes and liues discreet and riberall His wiues minde and his owne are one so fixt That Argus eyes could see no oddes betwixt And sure the difference if there difference be Is who shall doe most good or he or she Poore folks report that for relieuing them He and his wife are each of them a lem Atth'Inne and at his house two nights I staide And what was to be paid I know he paide If nothing of their kindnesse I had wrote Ingratefull me the world might iustly note Had I declar'd all I did heare and see For a great flatt'rer then I deemd should be Him and his wife and modest daughter Besse With Earth and Heau'ns felicity God blesse Two dayes a man of his at his command Did guide me to the midst of Westmerland And my Conductor with a liberall fist To keepe me moist scarce any Alehouse mist. The fourth of August weary halt and lame We in the darke t' a Towne call'd Sebder came There Master Borrowd my kind honest Host Vpon me did bestow vnasked cost The next day I held on my iourney still Sixe miles vnto a place call'd Carling hill Where Master Edmond Branthwaite doth recide Who made me welcome with my man and guide Our entertainement and our fare was such It might haue satisfied our betters much Yet all too little was his kind heart thought And fiue miles on my way himselfe me brought At Orton he I and my man did dine With Master Corney a good tâ—â—â— Dâ—â—â—â—e And surely Master Branthwait's well beleu'd His firme integrity is much approu'd His good effects doe make him still affected Of God and good men with regard respected He sent his man with me o're Date and Downe Who lodg'd and boorded me at Peereth Towne And such good cheere and bedding there I had That nothing but my weary selfe was bad There a fresh man I know not for whose sake With me a iourney would to Carlile make But from that Citie about two miles wide Good
and tempestuous stormes at Sea which I haue recited in verse before it pleased God that at the last we entred the Riuer which in my opinion is as good â—â—â— Riuer and with some charge may bee made as passable as the Riuer of Thames is vpwards from Brentford to VVindsor or beyond it the shallow places in it are not many the Mills â—need not be remoued and as for the Weares â—no doubt but they may with conscience bee compounded for By which meanes of Naâ—uigation the whole City and Country would be relieued loyterers turned into labourers penury into plenty to the glory of God the dignity and reputation of your City and the perpetuall worthy memory of all benefactors and well-willers vnto so noble a worke If you will but examine your owne knowledges you shall find that in the whole dominion of England there is not any one Town or City which hath a Nauigable Riuer at it that is poore nor scarce any that are rich which want a Riuer with the benefits of Boats The Towne of Kingston vpon Hull in Yorkshire the Riuer there was cut out of Humber by mens labours 20. miles vp into the Countrey and what the wealth and estate of that Towne is by the onely benefit of that Riuer it is not vnknowne to thousands but you men of Sarum may see what a commodity Nauigation is neerer hand there is your neighbour Sauthampton on the one side and your deere friend Poole on the other are a paire of hansome looking-Glasses for you where you may see your want in their abundance and your negligence in their industry God hath placed your being in a fertile soyle in a fruitfull valley enuironed round with Corâ—le and as it were continually beâ—â—â—eged with plenty whilst you within haâ—â—ing so many poore amongst you are rather lookers vpon happinesse then enioyers moreouer by Gods appointment Nature hath saued you the labour of cutting a Riuer for I thinke you haue one there as old as your City ready made to your hands if you will be but industrious to amend those impediments in it I dare vndertake to be one of the 3. or 4. men which shall bring or carry 16. or 20. Tuns of goods betwixt the Sea and your City Now with extreme toyle of men Horses and Carts your wood is brought to you 18. or 20. miles whereby the poore which cannot reach the high prices of your fewell are enforced to steale or starue in the Winter so that all your neere adioyning woods are continually spoyled by them which faults by the benefit of the Riuer would be reformed for the new Forrest standeth so neere to the water that it is but cut the wood and put it into a Boate which shall bring as much to your City as twenty Carts and fourescore Horses besides by this Riuer you might draw to you a trade of Sea-coale which would enrich you and helpe the plaine and inland Townes and Villages where no wood growes And for the Exportation of your Corne from Port to Port within our owne Countrey as it is well knowne what abundance of your Barley is continually made into Mault amongst you which if you had carriage for it might bee brewed into Beere wherewith you might serue diuers places with your Beere which is now serued with your Mault besides carriages of Brickes Tyles Stones Charcoales and other necessaries which is now carried at deare rates by Horse or Carts which now you send in Carts or on Horses backes to Southampton to Bristow and to many other places so that the dearenesse of the Carriages eats vp all your commodities and profit which discommodity may be auoyded if your Riuer bee cleansed and what man can tell what good in time may redound to your City from the Sea by forraigne goods which may bee brought into Christ-Church Hauen by Shipping nor can it be truly imagined what new and vsefull profitable businesses may arise in time by this meanes Our Forefathers and Ancestors did in their liues time in former ages doe many worthy and memorable workes but for all their industry and cost they did not or could not doe all but as there was much done to our hands so there was much left for vs to doe and very sitting it was that it should bee so for it is against common sence and reason our Fathers should toyle in good workes like drudges and wee spend our times loytring like Drones no what they did was for our imitation And withall that wee should bee leaders of our posterities by our examples into laudable endeauours as our progenitors haue before shewed vs wee are their sonnes and off-spring wee haue their shapes and figures we beare their names we possesse their goods we inherit their lands wee haue materials of Stones Timber Iron and such necessaries which they had if not in greater abundance and hauing all these let vs withall haue their willing and liberall hearts and there is no question to be made but that our Riuer of Auâ—n wil quickly be clensed to the honest enriching of the rich and the charitable relieuing of the poore I am assured that there are many good men in the City and County of Wiltshire and others of worth and good respect in this Kingdome who would willingly and bountifully assist this good worke but like Gossips neere a Stile they stand straining courtesie who shall goe first or the Mice in the Fable not one will aduenture to hang the Bell about the Cats necke So that if one good man would begin it would bee like a health dranke to some beloued Prince at a great feast pledged most heartily and by Gods grace effected most happily You haue already begun a charitable work amongst you I meane your common Towne Brew house the profit of which you entend shall be wholly imployed for the supply of the poore and Impotents which liue in your City from which sort of people being such a multitude the Brewers there haue found their best custome for no doubt but the meanest begger amongst you is in some sort more valiant then the richest man because the one dares to spend all he hath at the Alchouse so dares not the other for the poore man drinks stifly to driue care away and hath nothing to lose and the rich man drinks moderately because he must beare a braine to look to what hee hath And of all Trades in the world a Brewer is the Load-stone which drawes the customes of all functions vnto â—â—â— It is the mark or vpshot of euery mans ayme and the bottomlesse whirlepoole that swallowes vp the profits of rich and poore The Brewers Art like a wilde Kestrell or vnmand Hawke flies at all games or like a But leâ—â— boxe at Christmasse it is sure to winne whosoeuer loses In a word it rules and raignes in some sort as Augustus Casar did for â—â— taxeth the whole earth Your Innes and Aâ—â—-houses are Brookes and Riuers and their Clyents are small Rills and Springs who
all very dutifully doe pay their tributes to the boundlesse Ocean of the Brewhouse For all the world knowes that if men and women did drinke no more then sufficed Nature â—â— if it were but a little extraordinary now and then vpon occasion or by chance as you may terme it if drinking were vsed in any reason or any reason vsed in drinking I pray ye what would become of the Brewer then Surely we doe liue in an age wherein * Some make a profit of quarelling some pick their â—â—â— out of conteâ—â—â— and â—cbate some thriue and grow â—â—â— gluttoâ—y many are brauely maintained by Bribery that cheating roguery villany but put al these together and â—â—yne to them all sorts of people else and they all in genâ—â—â— are drinkers and consequently the Brewers Câ—â—â—â—â—â—â— Customers the sueâ—â— deadly sins are euery mans Trade and liuing Pride is the maintainer of thousands which would else perish as Mercers Taylors Embroydrers Silk-meÌ„ Cutters Drawers Semâ—sters Laundresies of which functions there are millions which would starue but for Mâ—dam Pride with her changeable fashions Lâ—chery what a coÌ„tinual crop of profit it yeelâ—â— appeares by the gallant thriuing and gawdy outsides of many he and she priuate and paâ—â—â—like sinnerâ— both in Citiâ— and Suburbs Coâ—erousnesse is Embroydered with Extortioâ— and warmly lined and furred with oppression And though it be a diuell yet is it most Idolatrously adored honoured worshipped by those simple Sheepeheaded fooles whom It hath vndone and beggered I could speake of other vices how profitable they are to a Common-wealth but my inuention is thirsty and must haue one carouse more at the Brewhouse who as I take it hath a greater share then any in the gaines which spring from the worlds abuses for Pride is maintained by the humble yet one kinde of Pride doth liue and profit by another Letchery is supported by the cursed swarme of Bawdes Panders Pimps Apple-squires Whores and Knaues and so euery sinne liues and thriues by the members Agents Ministers and Clyents which doe belong vnto them but Drunkennesse playes at all all trades all qualities all functions and callings can bee drunke or tempore note at any great Feast or but at eurey ordinary dinner or supper almost when men are well satisfied with sufficiency that then the mystery of quaffing begins with healths to many an vnworthy person who perhaps would not giue the price of the Reckoning to saue all them from hanging which make themselues sicke with drinking such vnthankfull healths I my selfe haue ofâ—entimes dined or supped at a great mans Boord and when I haue risen the seruants of the house haue enforc'd me into the Seller or Battery where in the way of kindnesse they will make a mans belly like a Sowse-rub and inforce mee to drinke as if they had a commission vnder the diuels great seale to murder men with drinking with such a deale of complementall oratory As off with your Lap Wind vp your bottome Vp with your taplash â—nd many more eloquent phrases which Tulâ—â— or Demosthenâ—s neuer heard of that in conclusion I am perswaded three dayes fasting would haue bin more healthfull to mee then two houres feeding and swilling in that manâ—er If any man hang drowne stabbe or by aâ—y violent meanes make away his life the goods lands of any such person are forfeit to the vse of the King and I see no reason but those which kill themselues with drinking should be in the same estate and be buried in the high wayes with a stake droue thorow them And if I had but a grant of this suite I would not doubt but that in seuen yeeres if my charity would but agree with my wealth I might erect Almes-houses Free-schooles mend highwayes and make Bridges for I dare sweare that a number almost numberlesse haue confessed vpon their death-beds that at such and such a time in such and such a place they dranke so much which made them surfeite of which surfeite they languished and dyed * Let these Liues be considered if I lye or not The maine benefit of these superfluous and man-slaughtering expences comes to the Brewer so that if a Brewer be in any office I hold him to be a very ingratefull man if he punish a Drunkard for euery stiffe pot-valiant drunkard is a Post beame or Piller which holds vp the Brew-house for as the barke is to the tree so is a good drinker to a Brewer But you men of Salisbury wisely perceiuing how much Euil to your City hath come by the abuse of Good drinke you would now worke by contraries to draw Good for your poore out of these forepassed and present Euils To draw euill out of good is diuelish but to work or extract goodnesse out of what is euill is godly and worthy to be pursued The abuse of good drinke and excessiue drinking hath made many beggers amongst you to the inriching of a few Brewers and now you would turne the world off from the Barrels as I would off from the Coach-wheeles that the benefit of your new built Towne Brew-house might relieue many of those poore amongst you who haue formerly bin impouerished by the inriching of your Towne-Brewers It is no doubt but they will oppose this good worke of yours as the image-makers in Ephesus did Paul when hee preached against their idolatrous worshipping Diana but be not you discouraged for Nehemiah in time did build the Temple although Sanballat * Tobiah Arabians Ammonites many others did oppose him for as your intents are Pious so no doubt but God will make your euents prosperous Now to turne from Beere and Ale to faire water your Riuer I mean which if it be clensed then with the profit of your TowneBrewhouse and the commodity of the Riuer I thinke there will be scarce a begger or a loiterer to be found amongst you I haue written enough before concerning the benefit of it and to encourage such as seeme flow towards so good a worke which had it beene in the Low-Countries the Industrious Dutch would not so long haue neglected so beneficiall a blessing witnesse their abundance of Nauigable Riuers and ditches which with the only labour of men they haue cut and in most places where neuer God or Nature made any Riuer and lately there is a Riuer made nauigable to St. Teades in Huntington-shire wherein stood seuen Mills as impediments in the way And now the City of Canterbury are clearing their Riuer that Boats may passe to and fro betwixt them and Sandwitch Hauen the like is also in hand at Leedes in Yorkeshire Now if neither former or present examples can moue you if your owne wants cannot inforce you if assured profit cannot perswade you but that you will still be neglectiue and stupid then am I sorry that I haue written so much to so little purpose but my hopes are otherwayes if all blinde lame and couetous excuses be laid aside then those who are willing will be
Comick straine In Tragedy or any other vaine In nipping Satyrs or in Epigrams In Odes in Elegies or Anagrams In eare-bewitching rare Hexameters Or in Iämbicke or Pentameters I know these like a Sculler not a Scholler And therefore Poet pray asswage your choller If as a theese in writing you enuy me Before you iudge me doe your worst and try me TO THE MIRROR OF TIME THE MOST REFVLGENT SPLENDIDIO VS REFLECTING COVRT Animal Don Archibald Armstrong Great M. Comptroller Commander and Countermander of mirth alacrity sport and ridiculous confabulations in this Septentrionall â—â—â— Westerne Monarchie of Magna Britania Your poore and daily Orator IOHN TAYLOR wisheth increase of your wisdome in your owne person and that your eminence and spirit may be infused into the bosoms of most mens heires that esteeme more of Wealth then of Wisdome RIght worthy worthlesse Patron the dayes and times being such wherein wit goes a wooll-gathering in a thredbare Iacket and folly is well reputed amongst those that seeme wise I considering this hauing but little wit in a mad humour bade farewell it and neuer so much as asked the question Wit whither wilt thou Being certainly perswaded that playing the foole will repaire the â—â—reaches which my vnhappy wit hath made in the Bulwarke of my reputation as it hath done to many others wherefore good sir with reuerence I hearing that so great a member in your esteemed quality as M. Thomas Coriat of Odcomb was drowned in his passage towards Constantinople and knowing that many good and worthy writers haue graced his liuing trauels So I haue made bold vnder your great Patronage to write his tragicall supposed Death-song or Funerall Eâ—legie not knowing any man of that worthy worth besides your selfe to whom I might dedicate these sad Epicediums Thus not doubting of your acceptance and protection I commit my selfe and my labors to your wonderfull wisdomes cenâ—ure alwaies hauing a poore Muse to trauell in your seruice Iohn Taylor TO THE GENTLEMEN READERS THAT vnderstand A.B. from a Battledore No Sooner newes of Coriats death was com But with the same my Muse was strookeÌ„ dom â— whilst he liued he was my Muses subiect Her onely life and sense sole pleasing obiect OdeoÌ„bian Graecian Latin Great ThomAsse He being dead what life hath she alasse â— yet I hope his death was false Report Or else 't was rumord to beget some sport To try how his deare friends would take his death And what rare Epicediums they would make T' accompany his all-lamented Herse In hobling iobling rumbling tumbling verse Some smooth some harsh some shorter some long As sweet Melodious as Madge Howlets song But when I saw that no man tooke in hand To make the world his worth to vnderstand Then vp I bussled from Obliuions den And of a Ganders quill I made a pen With which I wrote this following worke of woe Not caring much if he be dead or noâ— For whilst his body did containe a life The rarest wits were at continuall strife Who should exceed each other in his glory But none but I haue writ His Tragick story If he be dead then farewell he if not At his returne his thankes shall be thy lot Meane time my Muse doth like an humble Pleaâ—â— Intreat acceptance of the gentle Reader Remaining yours euer IOHN TAYLOR A SAD IOYFVLL LAMENTABLE DELIGHTFVLL MERRY-GO-SORRY ELEGY OR FVNERALL POEM VPON the supposed death of the famous Cosmographicall Surueior and Historiographicall Relator M r THOMAS CORIAT of Odcomb O For a rope of Onions from Saint Omers And for the muse of golden tongued Homers That I might write and weepe and weep and write Odcombian Coriats timelesse last good-night O were my wit inspir'd with Scoggins vaine Or that Will Summers ghost had seaz'd my braine Or Tarlton Lanum Singer Kempe and Pope Or she that danc'r and umbled on the rope Or Tilting Archy that so brauely ran Against Don Phebâ—â— knight that wordy man O all you crue in side pi'd coloured garments Assist me to the height of your preferments And with your wits and spirits inspire my pateful That I in Coriats praise be not ingratefull If euer age lamented losse of folly If euer man had cause of Melancholly Then now 's the time to waile his ruthlesse wracke And weepe in teares of Clares and of Sack ANd now according to my weake inuention His wondrous worthles worthines I 'l mention Yet to describe him as he is or was The wit of Men or monsters would surpasse His head was a large poudring tub of phrases WheÌ„ce men would pick delites as boys pick daises O head no head but blockhouse of fierce wars Where wit and earning were at daily lars Who should possesse the Mansion of his pate But at the last to end this great debate Admired learning tooke his heads possession And turnd his wit a wandring in progression But Miny on Muse hold whither wilt thou goe Thinkst thou his rare anatomy to shew None borne a Christian Turke nor yet in Tartary Can write each veyne each sinew and each artery His eyes and eares like Broakers by extortion Ingrost strange forraine manners and proportion But what his eyes and eares did see or heare His tongue or pen discharg'd the reckoning cleare That sure I thinke he well could proue by law He vttered more then e'r he heard or saw His tongue and hands haue truly paid their score And freely spent what they receiu'd and more But lord to see how farre o'r-shot am I To wade thus deepe in his Anatomy What now he is I 'l lightly ouerpasse I 'l onely write in part but what he was That as Grim Death our pleasures thus hath crost T is good because he 's gon to know what 's lost HEe was the Imp whilst he on earth suruiu'd From whom this west-worlds pastimes were deriu'd He was in City Country field Court The Well of dry braind lests and Pump of sport He was the treasure-house of wrinckled laughter Where melancholly moods are put to slaughter And in a word he was a man 'mongst many That neuer yet was paralleld by any Who now like him in spite of wind and weather Will weare one shiftlesse shirt 5. months together Who now to doe his natiue country grace Will for a Trophee execute his case Who now will take the height of euery Gallowes Or who 'l describe the signe of euery Alchouâ—e Whether his Host were bigge or short or tall And whether he did knock e'r he did call The colour of his Host and Hostesse haire What he bought cheap what he paid for deare For Veale or Mutton what he paid a ioynt Where he sate down and where he loos'd a poynt Each Tower each Turret and each lofty steeple Who now like him wil tel the vulgar people Who now will set a worke so many writers As he hath done in spite of his back-biters With Panegericks Anagrams Acrosticks â—emblazon him the chiefe among fantasticks â—las not one not one
Coach like a Pagan an Heathen an Insidâ—ll or Atheist obserues neither Sabbath or holiday time or season robustiously breaking through the toyle or net of diuine and humane law order and authority and as it were contemning all Christian conformity like a dogge that lyes on a heape of Hay who will eate none of it himselfe nor suffer any other beast to eate any euen so the Coach is not capable of hearing what a Preacher saith nor will it suffer men or women to heare that would heare for it makes such a hideous rumbling in the streetes by many Church dores that peoples eares are stop'd with the noyse whereby they are debard of their edifying which makes faith so fruitlesse good works so barren and charity as cold at Midsummer as if it were a great Frost and by this meanes soules are rob'd and starued of their heauenly Manna and the kingdome of darkenesse replenished to auoyd which they haue let vp a crosse post in Cheapside on Sundaies neer Woodstreet end which makes the Coaches rattle and rumble on th' other side of the way further froÌ„ the Church from hindring of their hearing The Nagaians Iughonians the vngodly barbarous Tartarians who knew no God or diuell Heauen nor hell and who indeed are Nations that haue neither Townes Cities Villages or houses Their habitations are nothing but Coaches in their Coaches they eate sleepe beget children who are also there borne and from place to place with them The World runnes on Wheeles continually for they are drawne in droues or heards 20 30. or 40000. together to any fruitfull place or Champion plaine where they and their beasts doe stay till they haue deuoured all manner of sustenance that may maintaine life and then they romoue to a fresh place doing the like thus wearing out their accursed liues like the broode of Cain they and their houses beeing perpetuall vagabonds and continuall ruunagates vpon the face of the earth They are so practized and inured in all kinde of Barbarisme that they will milke one Mare and let another blood and the blood and the milke they will Charne together in their Hats or Caps till they haue made fresh cheese and creame which the Diuell will scarce eate from these people our Coaches had first originall and I doe wish with all my heart that the superfluous number of all our hyreling hackney Carryknaues and Hurry-whores with their makers and maintainers were there where they might neuer want continuall imployment For their Antiquity in England I thinke it is in the memory of many men when in the whole Kingdome there was not one and there was another principall vertue as good as themselues came with them for the Prouerbe saith That michiefe or mischances seldome come alone and it is a doubtfull question whether the diuell brought Tobacco into England in a Coach or else brought a Coach in a fogge or mist of Tobacco For in the yeere 1564. one William Boonen a Dutchman brought first the vse of Coaches hither and the said Boonen was Queene Elizabeths Coach-man for indeede a Coach was a strange monster in those dayes and the sight of them put both horse and man into amazement some said it was a great Crab-shell brought out of China and some imagin'd it to be one of the Pagan Temples in which the Canibals adored the diuell but at last those doubts were cleared and Coach-making became a substantiall Trade So that now all the world may see they are as coÌ„mon as whoreâ— may be hired as easie as Knights of the poâ—â—â— The Cart is an open transparant Engine thâ—â— any man may perceiue the plaine honesty â—â—â— it there is no part of it within or without bâ—â— it is in the continuall view of all men On thâ— contrary the Coach is a close hypocrite for iâ—â— hath a couer for any knauery and curtaines tâ—â— vaile or shadow any wickednes besides like â—â—â— perpetuall cheater it weares two Bootes â—â—â— no Spurs somtimes hauing two paire of legâ—â—â— in one boote and oftentimes against nature most preposterously it makes faire Ladiesâ—â— weare the boore and if you note they are carried backe to backe like people surpriz'd bâ—â— Pyrats to be tyed in that miserable manner â—â—â— and throwne ouerboord into the Sea Moreouer it makes people imitate Sea-crabs in being drawne side-wayes as they are when they sit in the boote of the Coach and it is a dangerous kinde of carriage for the common-wealth if it be rightly considered for when a man shall be â— iustice of the peace a Serieant or a Councellor at law who hope is it that all or many of them should vse vpright dealing that haue beene so often in their youth and daily in their maturer or riper age drawne aside continually in a Coach some to the right hand and some to the left for vse makes perfectnesse and often going aside willingly makes men forget to go vpright naturally The order of Knighthood is both of great Antiquity and very honourable yet within these latter times there is a strange mystery crept into it for I haue noted iâ—â—â— that when a Gentleman hath the sword laid vpoÌ„ his shoulder either by his Prince or his deputy or Generall in the field although the blow with the sword be an honour to the man yet by a kind of inspiration it cripples his wife though shee be at that time 300. miles from her husband for if you note her you shall see her lamed for euer so that she can by no means goe without leading vnder the arme or else shee must be carried in a Coach all her life time after forgetting in a manner to goe on her feet so much as to Church though it be but two Quoytes cast for I haue heard of a Gentleman that was lamed in this manner who â—â—â— her man to Smithfield from Charingâ—â—â—â—â—â—to hyre a Coach to carry her to Whiteâ—â—â— another did the like from Ludgate-hill â—he carried to see a Play at the black Fryers â—â—â— in former times when they vsed to walke â—â— foote and recreate themselues they were â—â—â— strong and healthfull now all their exâ—â—cise is priuately to sawe Billets to hang in a â—â—â—nge or to rowle the great rowler in the alâ—â—â— of their garden but to go without leading â—â—â— Riding in a Coach is such an impeachment â—â—d derogation to their Calling which â—â—sh and bloud can by no meanes endure Euery man knowes that were it not for the Cart the Hay would rot in the medowes the Corne perish in the field the markets be emptily furnished at the Courts remoue the King would be vnseru'd and many a Gallant would â—â—â— enforced to be his owne Sumpter-horse to carry his luggage bag and baggage himselfe and finally were it not for the mannerly and â—â—â—rteous seruice of the Cart many a well deseruing ill condition'd braue fellow might goe on foote to the Gallowes A Cart by the iudgement of an honorable and graue Lawyer is elder brother to a
and Prince a Shepheard and a Wolfe Epigram 12. TVmultuous thoughts within my brest deth struggle To thinke how sinely popish Priests can iuggle And make the world beleeue a a wafer g â—though all the Scriptures doe affirme that the corporael preâ—â—â— of Christ is in heauen from whence he will not come in his â—â—â—â— forme till hee comes to â—â—â— eternall â—udgement yet a â—â—â—â—ing Priest will dayly take vpon him to command and him â—â—â—â— and to iuggle him into the shape of a Cake or a piece of bread Cake Is that Creator that did all things make Or that the sinne-polluted bald-crownd Priest With coniurations can create his Christ When our beliefe dâ—th plainly testifie He sits at Gods right hand in Maiestie From whence in humaine for me he will not come Till quicke and dead shall all abide his doome What Fooles are they then thinks the Priest Baker With impious hands makes their immortall maker Epigram 13. NOt all the sophistrie of Aristosle Cannot perswade me but the Pope did erre When he and 's sonne mistooke the poyâ—ned h â—â—â— the 6 and his sonne Casar Borginâ— were both poysoâ—â—d in mistaking their liquor But if his Holinesse had beene in â—â—â— Chayre he could not haue erred in such a matter bottle ' T was ' error sure what euer they inferre O' t had beene good then both for him and 's heyre He had beene haltered fast in Peters Chayre Epigram 14. THe waâ— like Emperours before Christ come Subdu'd the woâ—ld both Sea and Land to Rome Then afterwards the i Heauen Earth sea and Land being all wonne before these â—times by the Emperours and the godly Bishops there reâ—â—â—â—esâ— onely Hell for the Pope to make a lawfull claimeâ—â—â— Heauens their Bishops wonne By preaching truly Gods Immortall Sonne Heauen Earth and Sea being taken in the prime What rests now for the Popes this latter time Since of the heauens and earth they loose their part They will haue hell despight the diuels hart Epigram 15. CHrists Church in no wayes is the k That Church that is so oposite to the doctrine of Christ cannot be Christs wiâ—e but the deuils whore Church of For Paul sayes in the latter time should come Apostates that the truth should quite forsake That lyes and fables should Religion make Affiâ—ming meates and Matrimony euill Which Paul doth call the doctrine of the deuill Then since the Pope and all his shaueling rout What Christ commands they wilfully thrust out I with my betters must conclude this doome The Deuils deere drab must be the Church of Rome Epigram 16. O Yes if any man would know a place Where God himselfe hath neither power nor might Where as th' Alâ—ighty neuer shew'd his face Where words nor swords can neither talke nor sight O such a placeâ— esse place â—â— l God made heauen and earth the Sea and all things contained in them the Pope made Purgatory without Gods leaue or knowledge therefore it is no reason that God should haue any thing to doe there without the Popes leaue Purgâ—â—tory Created by the Pope without Gods leaue To amplifie his Antichâ—â—â—â—ian glory And all the world with counning to deceiue Where as the Pope hangs drawes condemnes and â—dges Commits acquits sets free or â—â—â—â—â—â— all Whether he thousands sends on heapes like drudges For in this no place hee is all in all And like a mighty â—â—â— crownd Pâ—â—â— Prince With threats and banshâ—â—â— so the world be witches In sending thither and recalling â—â—â—â—â— He gaines himselfe the Dâ—â—ll and all for riches Epigram 17. THe m Hâ—s holinesse domineeres ouer all the deuils in this life but t is but borrowed ware for they pay him all his old score when hee dyes and comes to â—â—â— host Pope hath charge of heauens immortall keyes And triple-headed Cerberus obeyes His triple Crowne and who so e're he please He sends to Hell for payne or Heauen for ease He can command the Angels and the Fiends What pleases them for him or for his friends Like as a Dog doth feare a stiâ—ch of Bacon So his great name Heauen Earth Hell hath shaken Epigram 18. VVHo dares affirme the Popes of Rome are Proud Amongst the Heretickes himselfe must shroud Or who dares say they 'r giuen to Auarice In selling Heauen and Hell for summes of price Or who dares speake such words of treachery To say the Pope is giuen to n Seauen goodly vertues naturally ingrasted in his hellish Holinesse Letchery Or who is he dares be so impious To say his Holinesse is Enuious Or who for seare of euerlasting scath Dares once accuse his Holinesse of Wrath. Or who is he that dares once verifie The Pope doth vse excessiue Glâ—ttony Or who dares say that like a drone or moath Like an vnpreaching Priest he liues by Elâ—â—th He that against him this dares justifie Is a plaine Protestant and such am I. Epigram 19. MAy it be call'd intollerable Pride For man to sit in the o His holinesse neuer learned this of Christ nor yet of Peter Almighties seate Or on mens shoulders pompously to ride To terrifie the world with thundering threat To weare a threeâ— pilde Crowne vpon his head To haue both Kings and Princes at his becke Whose Horse by mighty Potentaâ—es is led Who proudly â—ootes vpon the Emperours necke If trickes like these â—oâ— pride may be allow'd Then I conclude the Pope must needs be proud Epigram 20. IF it be couetous for gripple gaine To sellâ— the Heauens the Earth yea God himselfe To dispossesse Kings from their lawfull raigne To cramme his coâ—fers with vnlawfull pelâ—e To pardon sinnes for p If you wil know the price of sinne any ordinary Priest can tell you as well as Tom Tapster can tell a penny is the price of a pot of Ale money more then pitty Nay more to pardon sinnes that are to come To maintaine Whores and Stewes in Towne and City Who yerely payes the Popâ— a countlesse sum Who takes great interest puts great summes to vse 'T is Couetousuesse I thinke without excuse Epigram 21. IS it not bruitish sensuall q Why may not his Holinesse haue as much priuiledge as a Beast for a beast may lawfully â—ngender with his owne kindred and the Pope is called a Beast in many places of the Bible appetite The Sire to make a strumpet of his child Or is not Letcherie an Epethire For him that hath his Fathers bed defilde For him that hath desâ— our'd Virginitie That hath defilde the Damozell and the Damme Without respect of Consanguinitie That like a wolfe hath spovld both Ewe and Lambe This may be rearm'd incestuons Luxury And yet his Holinesse not wrong'd thereby Epigram 22. HE like a God that gouernes in the world That Euâ—â—es â—â—ch mans honour but his owne He â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— through the earth hath hurld Whoâ—â— Eâ—uie hath great Kingdomes ouer-throwne He that vngraâ—â—s his â—â—â— that 's oâ—â—ce intomb'd For Enuâ—â— that