Rogue will never have done shall I beate him Master Sedan Powell by no meanes for that 's the next way to bee beaten our selves they are sturdie companions and there is a world of them about the Citie Being all this while in such like discourse as this the morning began to be well up and people in the streetes to cluster about us like the ballet-singers auditorie when by chance came by a plaine Countrie Farmer who newly it seemed had passed the Thames for a Waterman followed him with a bag full of writings or such like and demanded of mee what the matter was I told him in briefe that there were two well knowne in the Citie Coach and Sedan fallen out about superioritie and place and in a contention which of them should deserue best of the common-wealth Water-man Deserve quoth the Water-man they deserve both to bee throwne into the Theames and but for stopping the channell I would they were for I am sure where I was woont to have eight or tenne fares in a morning I now scarce get two in a whole day our wives and children at home are readie to pine and some of us are faine for meanes to take other professions upon us as some in frostie weather to gather Dog-wood for Butchers to get burch and brooâ—â—e for beesomes and sometimes to catch birdes with lime or set springes in the marshes for water fowle honest shifts it is true in necessitie But wee are an auncient companie and though the last in the ranke of companies yet are wee the first and chiefe in getting our livings honestly and as God commandeth with the sweate of our browes our profession is free from deceit and lying which many trades are subject unto and being the most of us strong of bodie and skilfull upon the water wee are able and as ordinarilie we doe to serve our Soveraigne in his fleete Royall or armies by land many of us being Westerne men of Somerset Glocester Wiltshire and and other places there abouts who generally are esteemed the strongest and most active men of England when take one of your common or hackney coachmen from his boxe hee is good for nothing except to marry some old Ale-wife and bid his old acquaintance welcome to turne horse-courser become a Gentlemans baylie or butler in the Countrie or by meanes of some great man get a place in an hospitall I speake to shew the incertaintie of service not onely in regard of them but others Wee serve God and our King onelie and some of us for countenance sake or affection weare the coates and badges of Noble-men which dependance impeacheth not our liberties no whit at all The Coach upon the least error committed either mistaking his way in an evening the falling lame of an horse though not his fault breaking of a wheele overthrowing his coach against an hill side tree-rooâ—e or the like hee is presently sent to seeke a new master yet are some of them growne so proud because they are advanced iâ— the streete above their Lord and Master they cannot afford us inferior water-men that labour beneath them in the liquid Element a good looke or a good word As for you Master Sedan you are the huâ—bler and I beleeve the honester of the two I heare no great ill of you nor have I had any acquaintance with your cowcummer-cullor'd men onely I beleeve you are a close companion and that you conceale most of our delicate feminine fares in your boxes by land that were woont to bee our best customers by water for Coach his seentence is past and except you tread evenly you may follow after Countrey-man Nay honest water-man give not so rash a censure wee must not gainesay what the state tolerateth for some reasons perhaps unknowne to us neither will I enquire my Sedan in the Countrey is a plaine Wheelâ—barrow and my Coach my cart wherein now and then for my pleasure I ride my maides going along with me with their Forkes Rakes and a bottle or two of good Beeâ—e with an Apple-pastie Potted butter Churne-milke bread and cheese and such like into the fields in Summer-time to cocke corne make hay and the like and now and then on Faire and Market-dayes I walke with a neighbour or two to the Faire or Market to buy or sell and having drunke a dozen of Ale amongst us wee come home the same night scarse feeling the ground wee tread on and if our great Lords and Knights would use their leggs as wee doe they would not so many of them bee troubled with the Goute Dropsies and other diseases which grow upon them through ease fulnesse of Diet drinking many sorts of Wine and want of bodily exercise I wonâ—er in my heart why our Nobilitie and Gentrie cannot in faire weather walke the streets as they were wont as I have seene the Earles of Shrewsbury Darbie Sussex Cumberland Essex Northampton with most of our Barons without any disparagement to their Honours Beside those unimitable Presidents of Courage and Valour Sir Francis Drake Sir Philip Sydney Sir Martine Frobisher Sir Thomas Basâ—ervile with a number others when a Coach was as rare almost to bee seene as an Elephant I would our Coached and Caroched Gallants who think their feet too â—ood to tread upon Mother Earth had or were ever likely to deserue so well of their King and Countrey or could but shew those scarres leave such a testimonie of their vertues to after-ages as these Foot-men have done who were the true sonnes of Honour yea and many times have I seene some of them walke to the farthest part of the Citie and to invite them sâ—lves in love to diâ—neâ— to â—n Alderman or Merâ—hants table and other private houses as they thought good as the Noble George E. of Cumberland to Master Garrets an Apothecarie in Lime-street Sir Francis Drake to Alderman Martines in Cheap side and the rest in like manner where they were content with such as they found and were each with other heartily merrie and as truely welcome having perhaps learned this of Aâ—gustus Caesar who would leave his Court and goe eate and drinke familiarly in the private houses of his Romane Citizens for Majestie and greatnesse like a bow cannot stand so long extent but must have by fits a relaxation and as the most daintiest dishes of flesh or fish have commonly their sauces prepar'd of meane and course things as onions vineger water and the like so privacie and converse with inferiors among great persons as also homely sports and exercises take off and sweeten the teadiousnesse of rugged cares and high emploiment as when I was a Grammar-scholler our master to revive our spirits dulled with studie would make us Comoedies and because even now I spoke of Onions I will repeat the prologue of one of our plaies which I my selfe spoke upon the stage and it was this Even as the Duck in river navigable Is serv'd with Onions to a great mans table So will wee doe our
COACH and SEDAN Pleasantly Disputing for Place and Precedence The Brewers-Cart being Moderator Spectatum admissi risum teneatis amici LONDON Printed by Robert Raworth for Iohn Crowch and are to be sold by Edmund Paxton dwelling at Pauls chayne neere Doctors-Commons 1636. To the Valorous and worthy all title of Honor Sr. ELIAS HICKS KNIGHT and one of the honorable band of His Majesties Gentlemen Pensioners in Ordinarie NOBLE SIR THat I prefixe so deserving and eminent a name before such light stuffe I doe nâ— more then Tavernes and Innes doe with us heere in England and in other Countreys to credit their houses hang up at the porch the Pictures for signes of Kings Queenes Princes and other eminent Persons under whose subjection they live or unto whom they stand most affected The Great Turk sets his own stampe upon Terra Lemnia an Earth or Clay Virgil thought his Gnat not unworthy the view of Octavius Caesar and with the same confidence I offer thesâ— few leaâ—es unto your view who are so belov'd at home and honor'd â—brâ—ad especially for that your memorable service somtime at Mount Auban in France that Towne even to this day acknowledging her safety and preservation to your valour onely and whom for your resolution and forwardnesse in our late Fleete your Noble Admirall the Earle of Lindsey honored with the dignitie of Knighthood If your selfe Sir or any else shall aske mee If I had no better imployment to set my selfe about then this I could answere them The wisest Counsellers and greatest Scholars have ever season'd and sweetened their profoundest Studies and greatest employments with these and the like passages of inoffensive Mirth Erasmus commended the Foole. Homer writing his Illiads wrote also the battell betweene Froggs and Mise Fannius extolled the Nettle Sir Phillip Sydney made good sport with Rhombus his Countrey Schoole-master and the like many others Besides wee live in that Age wherein Difficile est Satyram non scribere But the trueth is I being at this time in hand with a serious and laborious work for the Presse ere long to see light my Printer desired of mee that hee might not sit idle in the meane time Sir I take my leave desiring to bee remembred and recorded among the number of those who for your owne worth and goodnesse truely love and honour you February 19. 1636. Yours ever Misâ—maxiâ—s To the Reader AS it is usuall in Countrie and homely houses when guests come upon the suddaine to tell them at the porch before hand what they shall find within So I heere at thy entrance Ingenious Reader tell thee there is not so good provision for thy entertainement as I could wish wherefore resolvedly with the Cynick I say who inviting great personages to a dinner of Radishes Salt and Bread and being by some blamed answered If they bee my friends they wil bee content with any thing if onely to fill their bellies this is too good for them And to say truth I am sorry I come forth no better provided I am no ordinary Pamphleter I would have thee to know onely in Mirth I tried what I could doe upon a running subject at the request of a friend in the Strand whose leggs not so sound as his Iudgement enforce him to keepe his Chamber where hee can neither sleepe or studie for the clattering of Coaches I shew'd him the Booke he smil'd and onely wrote underneath out of Martial Dum vernat Rosa dum madent capilli Tunc te vel rigidi legant Catones Vale quisquis es To my worthy friend the Author WHo is it under thirty that beleeves Big-bellied-dublets made with cloak-bag-sleeves That would hold pecks a peece Wings that belowe The elbowe reach't And for the better shewe Every large Button that went downe the brest Broade as an Halfe-crowne Piece to grace the rest When the short breech not reaching past the knee Crosse-garter'd at the hamme a man might see The Calfe apparant with the anckle-joynts Not Frenchified as now with Aglet points To hide their gowtie shin-bones when the ruffe Wide as a Fore Coach-wheele with starch enough Weare onely in the fashion Aâ—d Friend than Some Coaches wâ—re in use but no Sedan Nor doe I thinke but if the Custâ—mâ— were T'â—ee hurryed in Wheele-barrowes t'wâ—ld appeare In processe well and they would take the wall Of Carres of Coaches of Sedans and all And whâ— can tell whether 't bee now a breeding And may perhaps prâ—â—e so in Times succeeding Nâ—â— when wee lâ—st discourst close by the Mill Which over-lookes the Towne from Hamstâ—d-hill Thou told'st mee of this project I then said This thy dispute there tâ—lk't of and since made I thought would apt this age and further vâ—w'd 'T should bee no sooner finish't and alow'd But that I would Commend as all may seâ— It to the World first Next myselfe to thee Anonymos A PLEASANT DISPVTE Betwene COACH and SEDAN IT was just about the time when the Cuâ—kow not daring to come neerer to the Citie then â—slington warned the Milk-maides it was high time to bee gone with their pailes into Finsburie and nodding to the Cheshire Carriars told them if they made no more hast they would not reach Dunâ—table that night when my selfe with an English-Tailor and a French-man who newly were come out of France where they had spent halfe a yeere to learne and bring home the newest fashions there to their Ladies heere in England comming downe Iack-â—â—â—apes lanâ— wee perceived two lustie fellowes to justle for the wall and almost readie to fall together by the eares the one the lesser of the two was in a suite of greene after a strange manner windowed before and behind with Isen-glasse having two handsome fellowes in greene coats attending him the one even went before the other came behind their coates were lac'd downe the back with a greeneÌ„-lace sutable so were their halfe sleeves which perswaded me at first they were some cast sâ—iâ—â—â— of their Masters their backs were harnessed with leather cinglesâ— cut out of a hide as broad as Dutch-collops of Bacon whereat I wondred not a little being but newly come out of the Countrie and not having seâ—ne the like before The other was a thick burly square sett fellow in a doublet of Black-leather Brasse-button'd downe the brest Backe Sleeves and winges with monstrous wide bootes fringed at the top with a nâ—t fringe and a round breech after the old fashion guilded and oâ— his back-side an Atcheivement of sundry Coats in â—heir propper colors quarterd with Crest â—Helme and Mantle besides heere and there on the sides a single Esâ—utâ—hion or â—rest with some Embleâ—aticall word or other I supposed they were made of some Pendants or Baâ—ners that had beene stollen from over some Monument where they had long liuing in a Church Hee had onely one man before him wrapt in a red cloake with wide sleeves turned up at the hands and cudgell'd thick on the backe and shoulders with broad shining lace
have not continued in a name to the third yea scarce the second generation when go farre North or Westward you shall find many families and names both of the Nobilitie and gentrie to have continued their estâ—tes two three hundred yeeres and more in a direct succession as in Cumberland and Nâ—rthumberland the families of the Graies Groystocks Lowthersâ— Musgraves with many other in Yorkeshire of the Dacres Scroopes Nevellâ— Huddlestones Savillâ— c. The like may bee said of Lanâ—ashire Cheshire Devonshire Sommersetshire Norfolke Suffolk and many other places â—at remote from London without racking or raising of rents or inclosing of whole Townes and Lord-ships which every where neighbour Coach they say is long of you and your costlie carriage As for you Sedan I heare no great complaint of you save that my Wife and Daughter thinks that you have made Say dearer then it was woont to bee for whereas they used to buy it for sixteene pence a yard you have brought it to two shillingsâ— seven and eight groats and and none of the best neither and Coâ—ch I entreat you if you beeing now banished the Citie happen to come into our Countrie of Lincolnshire let me know of it that I may remove my selfe tenne miles off from where you shall have to doe Sedan because you are a stranger you shal be the welcomer of the two for as yet you were never seene in our parts But to be short my masters agree as you can I must follow my law occassions and to tell you true I can skill of neither of you and so fare-ye-well Sedan Coach doe yee see how neither in Counâ—rie or Citiâ— any one can give you a good word you have carried your selfe well in the meane 〈◊〉 have you notâ— Powell Her would hang iâ— selfe before shee would have so great deale of ill words in the world Coach-man Welch-man keepe you quiet there is no great feare or danger of you but when our Coach-maâ—es and horses are put to grasse Powell Sirrah you Grimalkin who was a knave and a foole when your Ladie being pig with schild and could not endure the jolting of her Coach up that sâ—eepe stonie hill beyonnd Ferribrigges in York-shire you made her sell two exellent stout mares to buy a couple of ambling horses beleeving as long as they ambled shee could never bee jolted where was her wit then Coach-man Well well Wood-pecker wee shall meete with you when time serves Powell I le meete her where and when her dare Heere I interposed my selfe and said before the companie truely honest Coach if I be not deceived in your name I cannot see but you may passe well enoâ—gh concerning that plaine Country man and his speach you must know that the common people of the Countrie affect not very well the Gentrie nor the Gentrie them there beeing a kind of Antipathy betweene them First they envie Gentlemen as living more plentifully and at ease then themselues Invidus alâ—erius rebus macrescit â—pimis againe they doe not greatly love them because Gentlemen hold them in a kind of aw and they are fearefull to displease them Oderunt quem metuunt Thirdly if they bee tennants their rents are often raised if strangers they arâ— overlaid many times with leavies and paiments either to the King or some publique chargâ—s and occasion in the Countrie and sometimes extraordinarie curtesies by great men their neighbours are exacted of them which grumblinglie they yeeld unto as borrowing their Carts to fetch home five or tenne miles off Stone Coales Timber and the like sometimes their Cattaile to Plough their grounds or helpe home with harvest sometime they are troubled with bringing up a whelp or two till they become ravenous â—ounds and undoe a poore man in his dayrie and if they bee faulconers they must afford them Pigeons from their dove-coates besides New-yeers-gifts which are conditioned in leases and with the yeerelie paiments of rent as Capons Geese Henns Lambes Conies Neates-Tongues Pigges Swannes all manner of Fish and wild-â—oule with a thousand such I ommit the generall murmur and complaint of the whole Countrie against them for depopulation inclosures and encroaching upon publique commons nor is it to bee forgotten how in levies ceasements and charges of Armes at publique Musters they can befriend themselves and in the last place as hee said truely their miserable house-keeping wherein had they beene free and liberall they might have made some part of amendes for the rest but commonly the poore of parishes are faine to bee releeved by the Farmer Husband-man and the middle ranke or else they must starve as many upon my knowledge did this last Snowie-winter I taxe not all God-for-bid there are numbers left who with their fore-fathers landes inherit their noble vertues of Loyaltie Fortitude Bountie Charitie Love to learning learned themselves and whatsoever is good or excellent I condemne not neither the lawfull use of Coaches in persons of ranke and qualitie yea and in cases of necessitie no more then I doe tilted Boates and Barges upon the water they defend from all injurie of the skie Snow Raine Haile Wind c. by them is made a publique difference betweene Nobilitiâ— and the Multitude whereby their Armories without speaking for them they are known and have that respect done to them as is due to them they are seates of Honour for the sound beds of ease for the lame sick and impotent the moving closets of brave Ladies and beautifull virgins who in common sence are unfit to walke the streets to be justled to the keâ—nell by a sturdie Porter or breathed upon by every base Bisognâ— they are the cradles of young children to be convei'd with their Nurses too or from their parents into the Citie or Countrie And if all Inventions have their just and due praise from the goodnesse of their Endes whereto they were ordained surelie the Coach invented for the necessarie use and service of man cannot bee condemned if regard bee had to those circumstances of Person Time and Place Their first invention and use was in the Kingdome of Hungarie about the time when Prier George compelled theâ— Queene and her young sonne the King to seeke to Soliman the Turkish Emperour for aid against the Frier and some of the Nobilitie to the utter ruine of that most rich c flourishing Kingdome where they were fiâ—â—t â—alled Kotoze and in the Slavonian tongue Câ—riti not of Coucher the French to lie-downe nor of Cuâ—hey the Cambridge Carrier as some body made Master Minshaâ— beleeve when hee rather wee perfected that his Etymologicall Dictionarie whence wee call them to this day 〈◊〉 â—the first they say that was seene in England was presented to Qâ—eene Eliâ—beth by the Eaâ—â—e of Aâ—undelâ— but whether it were an open Charriot or covered over the head as our â—â—â—â—â—es now are I doubt for such a one Qâ—eene 〈◊〉 rode in from Sommerset-houâ—e to S. 〈…〉 to heare a Sermon presently upon the victory obtained against the
Spaniard iâ— Eightie-Eight Master Nowell Deane of Paules Preaching at that time when I remember â—being then a Schoole-boy in London abut tenne yeeres of age so many Spanish-Ensignes in triumph were hung up that the leades of the Church and houses round about seemed to be veild or curtain'd round-about with Gold Silk and Silver Sedan It was a glorious sight indeede But quoth I upon a more glorious occasion Talking in this manner unexpected there comes by a Morrice-dance of Countrey-fellows away goes Powell and takes the Maide-Marian and the foole along to a Taverne the promiscuous by-standers left us to follow the Morrice-dancers when there steps in to mee an honest plaine Countrey-Vicar of mine old acquaintance and claps me on the shoulder calling mee by my name and saying It is a wonder to meet you heere in London which I think you have not seene in these dozen yeeres It is true said I and somwhat more and I find my selfe to bee a great stranger heere for whereas heretofore I could walke in some one streete and meete with a dozen of my acquaintance I can now walk in a dozen streets and not meete one yea both in people and building I find Nâ—vam rerum faciem Vicâ—r Yes I dare say since you and I were first acquainted in Cambridge the world is altered it is a good while I was laid hold on in an evening by our Vice-master D. R. for whistling in the Court and I told him and told him truely I could never whistle in all my life you made answere No sir it was not hee for could hee have whistled his father would never have sent him to Cambridgeâ— meaning hee would have made a plough-boy of mee Let mee remember you likewise said I of another merrie accident when wee were boyes and Sophisters in the schooles when you and two more of your old acquaintance went one frostie morning to eate Blacke-puddings to break-fast and wanting a penny of the reckoning to pay â—or an odde pudding having no more mony amongst you all three you venter'd on it and spet out a single penny that was buried in the Puddings end so that by wonderfull fortune the pudding payd for it selfe and after you declaim'd upon Aâ—daces Fortuna juvat Vicar Come these merry passages are gone and past I am heartily glad to see you alive and well And in good faith quoth I I am glad to meete with any of my old acquaintance they are so rare in these parts Heere is a Gentleman my friend said the Vicar who much desireth your acquaintance hee is an excellent Surveior limmer in Oile and water colours besides a skilfull Musician both for song and Instrument and you are met in a good time So having saluted one another I smilingly told them the occasion of mine Idle stay there at that time which was a neighbourly office of â—econciling Coach and Sedan who in that place fell fouly out with either opposing each other to the utmost for place and precedence neither would they yeeld a jot one to the other without the mediation of friends Vicar Is he in the black with brasen studds on his sleeves wings backe and brest called Coach Surveyor Yes and I am sure the other in the greene is Sedan Let me entreate you quoth I to them both to talke with them they will surely heare reason if one of the Church which I thinke neither of them cares for shall goe about to perswade them Vicar I will Sir I understand your name is Coach Coach Men call me so about the Court. Vicar Out of my love understanding the time of your execution is at hand and that quickly you must expect to be turn'd off I come to give you the best admonition I can First you have beene these many yeeres a lewd liver accompanying your selfe with Pandars and common Strumpets boâ—h of Citie and Countrey Secondly you have beene suspected for many robberies I am sure you have heard of Madam Sands for there is not an High-way streete back lane or odde corner in the Citie or within five miles but you are well acquainted with the same Thirdly you bring many a one to the gallowes Fourthly you never caâ—ed for the Church since all sermon-sermon-time wee heare you hurrying up and downe the streetes insomuch that the Reader of Devine Service or the Preacher can hardly heare himselfe speake for you or say you bring your Lord Knight and their Ladies to Church you stay in the streete while your man commonly goes to the Taverne or Ale-house till service bee done Fiftly you live not in love and charitie one with another but give one another if you are crossed in the streete or in a narrow lane the worst words you can and another great fault you are guilty of in the judgement of that late reverent Iustice Sir Edward Cooke you will in no place give way to the Carre and Cart your elder brethren Sixtly if you have gotten your cup like Iehu yee drive as if you were mad and become very dangerous in the night Surveyor Mr. Vicar these are but personall faults you conceive not what dammage the State receiveth by Coaches and how the whole Common-wealth suffereth in their increase and multitudâ— now if it please you I will shew you wherein They first consume an infinite quantitie of ouâ— prime and best leatheâ— which also by reason of the dâ—cay of Woods and consequently of barke for Tanners Leather is growne extreemely deere and hardly that which is principall good to be gotten for any money Againe wee can hardly have a young Ash grow till hee bee seven yeeres old within forty miles of London but hee is cut off before his time for the Coach-makers use in spokes for wheeles beames bodies and the like More-over a wonderfull quantitie of our best broad-clothes is consumed and wasted about the lining of Coaches and their seates I ommit other superfluities of Lace Fringe Guilding c. Last of all and which is worst of all and withall speed if it shall so please his Majestie to bee redressed the breede of oâ—r best horses in England are reserved or rather bought up in Faires and Markets onely for the use of the Coach hence it comes to passe that at any generall Muster taken of Horse you shall see so many arrant Iades showne Scarce one in tenne serviceable some send thither their ordinarie saddle Geldings and Nagges some their Cart-horses where you shall see their necks and sides miserably gall'd with collars traces and their riders Serving-men or ploughmen just answerable to their horses I speake I confesse the more freely because I know what belongeth to horse-manship and have beene my â—elfe an horse-man and in service beyond the seas in somuch as I dare say no Nation in Europe is more back-ward and carelesse in breeding and managing horses then we in England God bee blessed for our peace Quid postera ferat diâ—s nescimus if it would please his Royall Majestie
Surveyor But Master Coach what say you to a late Proclamation that is come out against you and your multitude Coach It concernes not us who follow the Court and belong to Noble-men it is chiefly for the suppressing my neigâ—bours of Hackney who are a Plague to Citie and Countrey it had beene the better for us if it had come out seven yeeres agâ—e for being wee shall I hope be better rewarded and better respected I have read I remember in Herodotus of Sesostris a Tyrant King of Egypt who causing foure Kings whom hee had taken prisoners to be yoaked together by the necks to draw his charriot one of these Kings ever and anon cast backe his eye and looked over his shoulder to the Charriot-wheele which the Tyrant observing demanding of him the reason why hee did so the captive King made answer Quia in rota video statum humanum Because in this wheele I see the state of man The spoke of the wheele that was even now aloft is now at the bottome and below as wee our selves are and that below anon gets up to the top Sesostris knowing this to be true and fearing his one estate being as others subject to change and mutabilitie forthwith released them of their bandes set them at libertie So Coach you men that were aloft and above others they must like the spokes of their wheeles come below and why not but by some other profession and calling mount as high againe Sic sors incerta vagatur Ferique refâ—rtque vices â—t habâ—â—t mortalia câ—sum Serveyor Well Gentle-men Coach and Sedan are you both pleased with those honest propositions tending to a perpetuall reconcilement of one to the other made by Beere-cart so that here after you will beare no grudge one to another but speake kindly at your meeting salute one another as you passe and in a word doe all good offices you can one for another that yee may no more make your selves laughing stocks to the world Coach and Sedan Wee will with all our hearts and Gentle-men we thanke you hartily for the paines you have taken and especially you Master Vicar Well Gentlemen quoth I we have now done a good office and Beere-Cart they are much beholding unto you Surveyor So are wee for you have made us wiser then wee were in understanding the abuses and misdemeanors either of them are subject unto for which wee and the world shall heartily thanke you Beere-Ca I could indeede say much more but I am in good hope of their agreement and they will not faile but visit our house three or foure times in the weeke to see how their brother Beere-cart does and with what liquor hee is laden So now quoth I wee have made honest friends and good-fellowes Coach and Sedan an end of your businesse Mr. Surveyor and honest Master Vicar we will go dispatch our own which way lies your way Survey To Westminster-ward wee both goe And I into the Strand and for this merry meeting and old acquaintance sake honest Vicar and Master Surveyor I have for you a quart of the best Canary in Westminster which I think is at Mr. Thomas Darlings a very honest man at the Three-tunnes by Charing-crosse Wee will beare you company quoth they and so wee three leaving the other departed But in going along to beguile the way wee fell I know not how into discourse what alteration in Common-Wealthes Cities Countreys Buildings manners of Men and Fashions in apparrell the Revolution of Time contrary to the opinion of man brought forth the Vicar earnestly maintaining the latter times to be the wisest as I stiffely maintained the contrary against him His first Argument was that wee in our age have more learning then ever Ergo more wisedome I denied his antecedent replying Quod efficit tale majus est tali meaning the Auncients who were our Masters aledging Chaucer Whence commeth this new Corne men have from yeare tâ— yeare Out of old fields old men saith And whenâ—e commeth this new learning that men teere Out of old fields in good faith Secondly The Inventions of latter times farre excelled those of former I denied that also He instanced Guns PRINTING Watches Wind-mills c. Against these as rare I opposed Archimedes his Burning-glasses wherwith he fired Marcellus ships from Syraecusa the perpetually burning Lampe made of the Spirit of Gold malleable Glasse Dying of that highly estemed Purple that rare manner of guilding called Pyropus mentioned in Plinie wherewith those round balles on the top of the Romane houses shone like fire with many other which are lost and forgotten Surveior And I am perswaded wee have had many rare Inventions even heere in England which are forgotten or quite out of use Yes quoth the Vicar foure especially Daggers Flat-caps French-hoods and Cod-peeces But heere wee brake of our discourse beeing at the Taverne dore the period of our Iourney FINIS The end of Travell The benefit this land hath by Strangers Powel a Welch-man one of Sedans mâ—n The Amazons fought on horsebacke with Bowes aâ—d Arrowes their Semitars A merrie tale of Mackerell In a funerall Elegie uâ—on the Câ—uâ—tesse of Warwick latelie Printed Paule Tomorree going to the young Kiâ—g lying at Vicegâ—ade to complaine of the Frier used Coaches first being so called fâ—om a towne where they were made whence they had there name Kotâ—ze * A Lady that rob'd in her Coach by the Hie-way Mary are carried in their Coaches to execution Beere and vlols de gamba came into EnglaÌ„d both in one yeere Bâ—itaÌ„ni potus genus habent quod Alicam vocant Plini Lucan * Let common Schoolemasters observe this who take Pyropus in Ovid for a Carbuncle or great Rubie
his horses want not water Sixtly Againe Coach if your Lord or Master bee disposed in an evening or any other time to goe to an house of good-fellowship the rude and unmannerly multitude call such Baudie-houses and your Lady or Mistris when you come home aske where you have beene you shall say your Lord or Master hath beene turning and looking over some Bookes in a French liberarie 6. You shall leave altogether your old woâ—nt that is when your Knight or Ladie or both are gone to the Church suffer your man to goe to the Ale-house and there to stay till prayer or Sermon bee done but see him a Gods name goe to Church to learne to serve God better and to mend his manners 7. Your man also shall leave that old knavish tricke of tying a horse haire very straight about the pastornes of your horse feete which presently will make him halt then to tell your Master hee is lame and will not serve his turne procuring after some horse-courser to buy him at an under price then sell him againe and after you two share the money betwixt you 8. Speake well of Water-men and offer them no wrong besides know they are a Corporation and boats were before Coaches I will undertake for them not to hurt you they are my friends and acquaintance and I deale much in their Element 9. If your Lord or Knight be invited to my Lord Majors the Sheriffes or any other great or eminent mans house to dinner because wee know not in these times who wee may trust let your man be sure to search and examine the celler well for feare of Treason 10. If Coach you happen to goe to a Christening or any publique banquet see that you turne your man loose like an Hogge under an Apple-tree among the comfitts and sweete-meates and let him shift 11. Leave in any case that ill custome yee have of running over people in a darke night and then bid them stand up 12. In Terme times you shall drive in the streetes faire and softly for throwing dirt upon Gentlemens clokes and Lawyers gownes going too and comming from Westminster 13. You shall have an especiall â—are of little children playing in Summer time in the streets greens high-waies and such places you shall endeavour to keepe your selves sober from over much drinking for by Coach-men overtaken with drinke many have lost their limmes yea some their lives 14. You shall carrie none without leave of your Lord Lady or Master 15. You shall not Coach as you are accustomed take up into you every groome and lacquay to lie tumbling with his dirtie feete upon your Lords Velvet or cloth Seats and Cushions but let their leggs carry them in the open streete with a mischiefe 16. You have a trick and custome which I wish were amended and reformed that if your Knight or Lady be out of the way froÌ„ home out of the Citie for some spending money to carrie tradesmens wives waiting-maides and young-wenches somtime to Brainford to Barnet Tottenham Rumford and such places to meete and to be merry with their sweet-hearts while all the way they goe they sit smiling and laughing to see how the poore inferior sort foote it in dirt and mire and hereby they grow so prowd that ever after they accounâ— themselues companions for the best Ladies 17. Coach if you are to goe a journey twenty thirty or more miles into the Countrey see that you are provided of all necessariesâ— that your Lady and her women may stand in heâ—d of by the way you know what I meane and never be unprovided of a bottle or two of the best Strong-waters 18. You shall be no hindrance to poore people who shall demaund and aske the charitable almes of your Lord or Ladie much lesse revile them or lash them over the faâ—es with your whip 19. And honest Coach at my request be very careful in going over 〈◊〉 places quick-sands unknowne waters and narrow bridges 20. If a man of manlike behaviour and fashion casually fall lame by the way or by some accident be wounded whereby he is unable to travell you shâ—ll out of Christian Charitie imitating the good Samaritane take him up helpe him wherein you can â—arâ—y him â—o hiâ— Inne 21. You shall offer your brother Sedan no manner of wrong but intreat him with all love and friendship giving him the wall you keeping your naturall and proper walke the middle of the streete 22. Lastly you shall be affable and curteous to all endevouring to get the good will and good word of every one especially your fellows in the hovse that having the love of your Master and Lady they may settle you in a Farme of theirs in your old age and marrying the Chamber maid ever after give them leave to lash that will So much brother Coach for you now honest Sedan something I have to say to you though not much First as you tender the love and friendship of your Brother Beere-Carâ— observe these rules and admonitions You shall from this time forward live with Coach in perfect Love and Amitie to defend and helpe him in all casualties and ever-more to speake well of him behind his backe You shall never carrie any infected person You shall never take into your charge any one that is beaâ—tly drunke at any Taverne or Ale-house but rather give a Porter leave to carrie him to his lodging in his Basket You shall not meddle with any Exchang-Wenches Semsters or hand-some Laundrâ—sses to carrie them to any Gentle-mans private Chamber or Lodging therâ— to shew their wares and commodities You shall never endanger your selves with carrying matters of great charge as Money Plate Iewells Boxes of evidences writings and the like You shall never carrie Coach-man againe for the first you ever carried was a Coach-man for which you had like to have sufferd had not your Master beene the more mercifull You shall see your bottomes be sound that grosse and unweldie men slip not thorow You shall carrie no manner of Beast for any mans pleasure Bears-Whelp Surbated-Hound Baboone Musk-cat or the like You shall have an espâ—â—iall care to keepe your Chaires cleane and sweet both within and without suffer no Tobacco which many love not to be taken in them and wish the Painter to adde to his Verd ' greace and Linseed-oyle in his painting a small quantitie of the Oyle of spike for the better smell And â—ince the wâ—akest goes to the wall take you the wall I charge you of all Porters Bakers Costard-mongers Carmâ—n Coaches and in a word of all in generall saving Beere-Carâ— who after you are wearrie and tired will bee at hand to doe you any manner of serviâ—â— especially to revive your decayed spirits And last of all with which I will conclude because at the Court you are friendly used and often times admitted within the gates which your brother Coach never is you shall take nothing at any time for carriage of the Kings great Porter