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A16748 The good and the badde, or Descriptions of the vvorthies, and vnworthies of this age Where the best may see their graces, and the worst discerne their basenesse. Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? 1616 (1616) STC 3656; ESTC S104792 20,529 48

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In summe she is the seede of trouble the fruit of trauaile the taste of bitternesse and the digestion of death A good Wife A Good Wife is a world of wealth where iust cause of content makes a kingdome in conceit She is the eye of warinesse the tongue of silence the hand of labour and the heart of loue a companion of kindnesse a Mistris of Passion an exercise of Patience and an example of experience She is the Kitchin Physician the Chamber comfort the Halls care and the Parlours Grace She is the Dairies neatnesse the Brue-house wholsomnesse the Garners prouision and the Gardens plantation her voice is musicke her countenance meekenesse her minde vertuous and her soule gracious she is her Husbands Iewell her Childrens ioy her Neighbors loue and her seruants honour she is Pouerties praier and Charities praise Religions loue and Deuotions zeale she is a care of necessity and a course of Thrift a booke of Huswifery and a mirror of modestie In summe she is Gods blessing and Mans happinesse Earths honour and Heauens creature An Effeminate Foole. AN Effeminate foole is the figure of a Baby he loues nothing but gay to look in a Glasse to keepe among Wenches and to play with trifles to feed on sweet meats and to be daunced in Laps to be imbraced in Armes and to be kissed on the Cheeke To talke Idlely to looke demurely to goe Nicely and to Laugh continually To be his Mistresse seruant and her Mayds master his Fathers Loue and his Mothers none-Child to play on a Fiddle and sing a Loue-song to weare sweet Gloues and looke on fine things To make purposes and write Verses deuise Riddles and tell lies To follow Plaies and study Daunces to heare Newes and buy trifles To sigh for Loue and weepe for kindnesse and mourne for company and bee sicke for fashion To ride in a Coach and gallop a Hackney to watch all Night and sleepe out the Morning to lie on a bed and take Tobacco and to send his Page of an idle message to his Mistresse to go vppon Gigges to haue his Ruffes set in print to picke his Teeth and play with a Puppet In summe hee is a man-Childe and a Womans man a gaze of Folly and Wisedomes griefe A Parasite A Parisite is the Image of iniquity who for the gaine of drosse is deuoted to all villanie He is a kinde of Thiefe in committing of Burglarie when hee breakes into houses with his tongue and pickes pockets with his flatterie his face is brazed that he cannot blush and his hands are limed to catch holde what hee can light on his tongue is a Bell but not of the Church except it be the Diuels to call his Parish to his seruice hee is sometime a Pander to carry messages of ill meetings and perhaps hath some Eloquence to perswade sweetnesse in sinne he is like a dogge at a doore while the diuels dance in the chamber or like a Spider in the house top that liues on the poison belowe hee is the hate of honesty and the abuse of beauty the spoile of Youth and the misery of Age. In summe he is a danger in a Court a Cheater in a Citie a Iester in the Countrey and a Iacke-an-Apes in all A Bawde A Bawde is a kinde of Woman-Beast who hauing lost the honour of her Virginity in her youth meanes to goe to hell in her Age She is dangerous among young people for feare of the infection of the falling sicknesse and not to teach children to spel lest she learne them too soone to put together shee is partly a Surgeon but most for the the allaying of swellings in the lower parts and hath commonly a charme to coniure the Diuell into hell Shee grieues at nothing more then at disability to sinne and is neuer so merry as when she is perswaded to be young she feares nothing more then the Cart and cares for nothing but ease and loues a cup of Sacke and a pot of Ale almost as well as the hope of her saluation shee is much subiect to sore eyes and ill teeth with sitting vp late and feeding on sweete things she is a Gossip at a Childe-birth where her mirth is a bawdy tale and a Matrone in an Hospitall to see young wenches well set to worke In summe shee is the loathsomenesse of Nature the hate of Vertue the spoile of wealth and the ruine of Mayden-heads A Drunkard A Drunkard is a Nowne Adiectiue for he cannot stand alone by himselfe yet in his greatest we aknesse a great trier of strength whether health or sicknesse will haue the vpper hand in a surfet He is a spectacle of deformitie and a shame of humanity a viewe of sinne and a griefe of Nature he is the anoiance of Modesty and the trouble of Ciuility the spoile of wealth and the spight of Reason he is only the Bruers Agent and the Ale-house Benefactor the Beggers Companion and the Constables trouble he is his Wifes woe his Childrens sorrow his Neighbours scoffe and his owne shame In summe hee is a Tubbe of swill a Spirit of sleepe a picture of a Beast and a Monster of a man A Coward A Coward is the childe of feare hee was begotten in colde bloud when Nature had much adoe to make vp a Creature like a man his life is a kinde of sicknesse which breeds a kinde of palsey in the ioynts and his death the terror of his conscience with the extreme weakenesse of his faith hee loues Peace as his life for he feares a sword in his soule if he cut his finger hee looketh presently for the signe and if his head ake he is ready to make his will a report of a cannon strikes him flat on his face and a clap of thunder makes him a strange Metamorphosis rather then he will fight he will be beaten and if his legges will helpe him he will put his armes to no trouble he makes loue commonly with his purse and brags most of his Mayden-head he will not marry but into a quiet family and not too faire a wife to auoide quarrels if his wife frowne vpon him he sighes and if shee giue him an vnkinde word he weepes hee loues not the hornes of a Bull nor the pawes of a Beare and if a dogge barke he will not come neere the house if hee be rich he is afraide of Theeues and if he be poore he will be slaue to a Begger In summe hee is the shame of man-hood the disgrace of Nature the skorne of Reason and the hate of honour An honest Poore man AN honest Poore man is the proofe of miserie where patience is put to the trial of her strength to endure griefe without passion in staruing with concealed necessity or standing in the aduentures of Charitie if he be married Want rings in his eares and woe watreth his eyes if single he droopeth with the shame of Beggery or dyes with the passion of penurie of the Rich he is shunned like infection
beloued Hee is a surueier of rights and reuenger of wrongs and in the iudgement of Truth the Honor of Iustice. In summe his word is Law his power Grace his labour Peace and his desert Honour An vnworthy Iudge AN vnworthy Iudge is the griefe of Iustice in the Error of Iudgement when through ignorance or will the death of Innocency lies vpon the breath of Opinion Hee is the disgrace of Law in the desert of Knowledge and the plague of Power in the misery of Oppression He is more Morall then Diuine in the nature of Policy and more Iudicious then Iust in the carriage of his conceit His Charity is cold when partiality is resolued when the doome of life lies on the verdict of a Iury with a sterne looke hee frighteth an offender and giues little comfort to a poore mans cause The golden weight ouerwaies his Grace when Angels play the Diuels in the hearts of his people In summe where Christ is preached hee hath no place in his Church and in this Kingdome out of doubt God will not suffer any such Diuell to beare sway A Worthie Knight A Worthy Knight is a spirit of proofe in the aduancement of Vertue by the desert of Honour in the Eye of Maiestie In the field hee giues courage to his Souldiers in the Court Grace to his followers in the Cittie reputation to his person and in the Country honour to his House His Sword and his Horse make his way to his House and his Armor of best proofe is an vndaunted Spirit the Musicke of his delight is the Trumpet and the Drumme and the Paradise of his Eye is an Army defeated the reliefe of the oppressed makes his Conquest honourable and the pardon of the submissiue makes him famous in mercy Hee is in Nature milde and in Spirit stout in Reason iudicious and in all Honourable In summe hee is a Yeomans commander a Gentlemans superiour a Noble mans companion and a Princes worthy fauourite An Vnworthy Knight AN Vnworthy Knight is the defect of Nature in the title of Honour when to maintaine Valor his Spurres haue no rowels nor his Sword a point his apparell is of proofe that may weare like his Armour or like an olde Ensigne that hath his honour in ragges It may be he is the Taylors trouble in fitting an ill shape or a Mercers wonder in wearing of Silke in the Court he stands for a Cipher and among Ladies like an Owle among Birds Hee is worshipt onely for his wealth and if hee be of the first head hee shall be valued by his wit when if his pride goe beyond his purse his Title will be a trouble to him In summe hee is the Child of Folly and the man of Gotham the blind man of Pride and the foole of imagination But in the Court of Honour are no such Apes and I hope that this Kingdome will breed no such Asses A Worthy Gentleman A Worthy Gentleman is a branch of the tree of Honour whose fruites are the actions of Vertue as pleasing to the Eye of Iudgement as tastefull to the Spirit of vnderstanding whatsoeuer hee doth it is not forced except it bee euill which either through ignorance vnwittingly or through compulsion vnwillingly he fals vpon hee in Nature kinde in Demeanour courteous in Alleageance loyall and in Religion zealous in seruice faithfull and in reward Bountifull Hee is made of no Baggage stuffe nor for the wearing of base people but is wouen by the Spirit of Wisedome to adorne the Court of Honour His apparell is more comely then costly and his Diet more wholsome then excessiue his Exercise more healthfull then painefull and his Study more for Knowledge then Pride his Loue not wanton nor common his gifts not niggardly nor prodigall and his carriage neither Apish nor sullen In summe he is an approuer of his Pedigree by the Noblenesse of his passage and in the course of his life an example to his posterity An Vnworthy Gentleman AN Vnworthy Gentleman is the scoffe of Wit and the scorne of Honour where more wealth then wit is worshipt of Simplicity who spends more in Idlenesse then would maintaine Thrift or hides more in Misery then might purchase Honour whose delights are Vanities and whose pleasures Fopperies whose studies Fables and whose exercise worse then Follies His conuersation is Base and his conference Ridiculous his affections Vngracious and his actions Ignominious His Apparell out of fashion and his Diet out of order his Cariage out of square and his company out of request In summe he is like a mungrell Dogge with a veluet Coller a Cart-Horse with a golden Saddle a Buzzard kite with a Fawlcons Bels or a Baboune with a pied Ierkin A Worthy Lawyer A Worthy Lawyer is the Studient of knowledge how to bring controuersies into a conclusion of Peace and out of ignorance to gaine vnderstanding Hee diuides Time into vses and Cases into constructions Hee layes open obscurities and is praysed for the speech of Truth and in the Court of Conscience pleads much in Forma pauperis for small fees He is a meane for the preseruation of Titles and the holding of possessions and a great instrument of Peace in the Iudgement of impartiality Hee is the Clyents hope in his Cases pleading and his hearts comfort in a happy issue Hee is the finder out of Tricks in the craft of ill conscience and the ioy of the distressed in the reliefe of Iustice. In summe hee is a maker of Peace among the Spirits of Contention a continuer of quiet in the execution of the Law An Vnworthy Lawyer AN Vnlearned and vnworthily called a Lawyer is the figure of a Foot-post who carries Letters but knowes not what is in them only can read the superscriptions to direct them to their right owners So trudgeth this simple Clarke that can scarce read a Case when it is written with his hand-full of papers from one Court to another and from one Counsellors chamber to another when by his good payment for his paines hee will bee so sawcy as to call himselfe a Sollicitor But what a taking are poore Clients in when this too much trusted cunning companion better read in Pierce Plowman then in Ploydon and in the Play of Richard the Third then in the Pleas of Edward the Fourth perswades them all is sure when hee is sure of all and in what a misery are the poore men when vpon a Nihil dicit because indeede this poore fellow Nihil potest dicere they are in danger of an Execution before they know wherefore they are condemned But I wish all such more wicked then witty vnlearned in the Law and abusers of the same to looke a little better into their consciences and to leaue their crafty courses lest when the Law indeede laies them open in steade of carrying papers in their hands they weare not papers on their heads and in stead of giuing eare to their Clients causes or rather eies into their purses they haue