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A86170 Haslerig & Vain or, A dialogue between them at their several conference in the Tower of London, being a lamentation of both their vile actions which was formerly committed by them, with all their damnable plots, against the late King Charles after their apprehending. Together with their contrivance against this famous City of London, and now cursing their miserable condition expecting every day for their tryall. / By T.H,. 1660 (1660) Wing H136; Thomason E1849_2; ESTC R209716 3,705 14

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Haslerig Vain Or A DIALOGUE Between them at their severall Conference in the Tower of London being a Lamentation of both their vile actions which was formerly committed by them with all their damnable plots against the late King Charles after their apprehending Together with their contrivance against this famous City of London and now cursing their miserable condition expecting every day for their Tryall By T. H London Printed for William Gilbertson A DIALOGUE Between Sir Henry Vaine And Sir Arthur Haslerigge Sir Henry Uaine SIr Arthur you are welcome Haslerigge Not so welcome for I had rather a gone sick of the Pox to Durham then have come well hither U. I. so had I to but wée fulfill now the Old Proverb needs must goe as the Divell drives H. Then if needs must I would the Divel had drove me farre enough off before I had come here to be hang'd like a Dogge U. What hang'd Sir Arthur H. Why doe you make so strange of it I knew long agoe that would be our end U. Good if you had told me so at Portsmouth I would have seen you damn'd before you should have dril'd me here again but the Proverb still proves sure give the Divell his due and to be hang'd is ours H. I but sir Henry who would have thought of this a twelvemonth a goe U. Thought of it Faith sir Arthur too many for our sakes as I heare since for the Dive●l a one was for us at last but the Hang-man and the Halter H. I sir Henry and those stick close to us now U. Too close I am afraid for I dream'd to night I was going to ride on a Now Hurdle H. Did you but dream it gad I know it yet they say often-times dreames fall out to contraries but they are more liker to prove true now U. Why doe you think so sir Arthur H. Think so The very boyes in the streets give sentence on us already U. Why doe all people hate us so worse then T●ade H. I le tell you The Divell was ne'r agen us more U. No because he was alwayes for us till now at last that he brought us here and now he leaves us to shift for our selves H. I sir Henry but that 's a sorry shift now he could bring us in but he cannot bring us out wee have stronger Gates to pull downe now then wee had about the City though wee ventur'd our necks for 't U. A venter doe you call it venter comes of with hazard but wée are not like to come off at all H. So so Now you begin to lay all the fault in me U. Lay all the fau't in you was it not long of your h●ir-brain with a horse-pox to you that wrought all the Calamities when you quarreld with Lambert that Cut-throat Hanniball which was alwayes for his owne ends as well as wée were I would have given him one thousand pound more surely to be quiet though I had took if from the Widdowes and the Fatherlesse but betw'xt you both he after Authority and you after Mony the Divell give yée enough brought all these sorrows Wée that were counted the SuPreem Authority and chief of the Nations are now scoff'd scorn'd and derided by all good and sober-minded people bearing our deserved Names worse then Infidels and tendred as odious as our actions are infamous and that 's base enough of all conscience and all our horrid Uillanies dash in our Faces every day termed Rumpers Hypocrites and Hanniballs while wée are tyed here by the necks like wolvs in Chains enough to vex any Dogge alive H. Come come sir Henry be not so wrathfull and outragious you and I have gone hand in hand these many years under the good Old Cause in Fraud Deceit and Perjury like two Olive Branches spreading our Vines and Clawes on any good and honest mans estate and venters our souls for t as few as any two alive and lived together as two friends in a just and Lagall Reprobate condition therefore pray fall not out with me now at the last caste but be patient and content U. P●tient and content sir Arthur th●t I cannot be so long as I am alive and that will not be long I am sure H Well come sir Henry le ts take a turne or two and walke a little U. A turn sir Arthur wée shall take our turnes too soon I am afraid H. Afraid sir Henry I was never afraid in my life neither of soule nor body for if I. had I 'de nere done what I did U. The Divel was in us when wée left Portsmouth for had wee staid there wee had done as good mischief as wee did here H. I but sir Henry I did alwayes yaune after Authority you know that by my consent I 'd have nothing done in heaven or in hell but that I would know of it U. I but sir Arthur how did you intend to Govern had you sate upon your Throne of wickednesse H. O very well for I would have tollerated all sorts of Religion had there beene sixteen times as many more U. But how would you have paid the Army that held the sword of Uengeance H I 'd duble the Excise and Customs U. But what if they could not pay it H I 'd then hang them at their doores U. So you might have hangd them all H I had not car'd if all had bin hang'd so I might have rul'd alone U. Truly and I had likt your wayes very well H. Nay sir Henry I knew you could not mislike that U But truly wee should have burn'd the City at that time sir Arthur H. Was not I preparing as fast as I could to doe it O sir Arthur sir Arthur wee had accomplisht our designes had not that Parliament Transactor appeard out of Scotland at whose apperition my very knees did smite against each other worse then Belshazers did at the writing Menetickel I I sir Henry I knew he was hungry lingring for a King like a Lyon roaring for a prey But why did not you bribe him O sir Henry I would have don ●t but I found that mony would no more choke him then all the Oaths would me And indeed sir Arthur you could sweare lustily I and can still sir Henry for thirty thousand a Yeare That 's a brave estate sir Arthur but now you must part with it Truly sir Henry I would as willingly keep it as the right owners are to take it But sir Arthur would you accept of a Colliers place at New-Castle I as God Iidge my soul would I any thing in the world to save my life Then you are sure to dye sir Arthur I would I was so sure to live But what if you should P●tition sir Arthur to be hangd at Durham I would be glad with all my heart sir Henry for then my estate and I should never depart I but sir Arthur they will not trouble themselves to send you thither But what if Lambert would take a bribe and be hang'd for you there Ah never talke of that sir Henry for I verily beleeve he had as live see me hangd as himselfe But what if you did ransome your selfe with your estate No no sir Henry I had rather give my life for my estate first but I shall loose both it seemes Then what shall wee say sir Arthur let us sit down in sorrow all the day long Nay I beleeve our Dayes will not be much longer Lambert Lambert the Author of our misery Curst be the day that e'r he came our society Nay sir Henry lets not curse one another For I think wee are eursed altogether But as for you and I wée have liv'd too Rebrobate in brotherly Union like sonnes of Perdition these twenty yeares and odde and as wée have liv'd together so let us hang together and there is an end of the story An Epitaph upon sir Arthur Haslerigge and sir Henry Uaine Here lyes the body of Haslerigge the late Grand Traytor to'r King both Church state Most impious villain tyrannized o're Three stately Kingdoms 20 years more Murder'd his Prince all his honours blast For which due recompence wil hang at last Here lyes the body of Henry Uaine we know Was traytor both to King and Country too Reproach and basenes he 'l bring to his grave He liv'd like a Tyrant and dy'd like a knave NOw wee are captivitated from all liberty For our Treachery our high exalting power hath a fall The records they wil tel them what we 've do●e o● late ' Gainst Church and State our actions will appear before them all Which then will render us as odious as the tongue of man can tell Therefore let wee prepare to dye and bid the world farewell The big'st Record in Urope is not half so large As may discharge the volum of out actions which will be Nor can the learned Authors gather to a sum What wee have done though t will be seen in roles of infamy For Generations they will spread this story o're all the world That future times may read in lines what deeds were done of old So farewell all Comits wee shall never act Nor yet exact in Uoting up the Customs or Excize The selling of the timber in New Forrest Wood Will cost our blood we ne'r shal com again to make a prize wee 've chang'd our house of Parliament and in the Tower now doth dwell But do not think our lodgings in 't is halfe so good as hell Now let all Traytors take a president by wée Where e're they be and know Rebellion is a dangerous thing Let Peasants not be Princes but obey the Law And stand in awe of such a swéet gracious loving King But always study more obedience in your walking up and down Doe not contest nor in the least provoke him to a frown Thrice happy worthy Subjects you are in this King Make much of him and render praises to the God on high Which hath ordain'd him for you 't was the Lords command That he should stand to be a King in glorious Majesty And wée doe councel and advise you ne r bring your King in thrall But faithfull be to his Majesty so God will blesse you all FINIS