rest he 's one that I must thanke With his good wife and honest brother Frank. Now for the City 'T is of state and Port Where Emperors Kings haue kept their Court 939 yeere the foundation Was layd before our Sauiours Incarnation By * Ebrank was the fift K. of Britain after Brule Ebrank who a Temple there did reare And plac'd a * An Arch-Flamâ—â— which was as an idolatrous high Priest to Dians Flammin to Diana there But when King Lucius here the Scepter swaid The Idols leuell with the ground were layd Then Eleutherius Romes high Bishop plac'd An Archbishop at Yorke with Titles grac'd Then after Christ 627. Was Edwin * Edwin and his whole family were baptized on Easter day the 12. of Aprill 6 7â— baptiz'd by the grace of heauen He pluck'd the Minster down that then was wood And made it stone a deed both great and good The City oft hath knowne the chance of warres Of cruell forraigne and of home-bred iarres And those that further please thereof to read May turne the volumes of great Hollinshead 'T is large 't is pleasant and magnificent The Norths most fertile famous ornament 'T is rich and populous and hath indeed No want of any thing to serue their need Abundance doth that noble City make Much abler to bestow then need to take So farewell Yorke * Yorkshire the greatest shire in England and 308. â—â—â— about Speed the tenth of August then Away came I for London with my men To dinner I to Pomfret quickly rode Where good hot Venison staid for my abode I thanke the worshipfull George Shillito He fill'd my men and me and let vs goe There did I well view ouer twice or thrice A strong a faire and ancient Edifice Reedifi'd where it was ruin'd most At th' high and hopefull Prince * Pomfret Castle of Wales his cost I saw the roome where Exton * Prince Charles and his rowt Of Traytors Royall Richards braines beat out And if that King did strike so many blowes As hackes and hewes vpon one pillar showes There are one hundred slashes he withstood Before the Villaines shed his Kingly blood From Pomfret then vnto my noble friend Sir Robert Swift at Doncaster we wend An ancient Knight of a most generous spirit Who made me welcome farre beyond my merit From thence by Newarke I to Stamâ—ord past And so in time to London at the last With friends and neighbors all with louing hearts Did welcome me with pottles pintes and quarts Which made my Muse more glib and blythe to tell Thistory of my Voyage So farewell * Sir Pierce of Exton Knight King Richard the second murdered there An Epilogue Thus haue I brought to end a worke of paine I wish it may requite me with some game For well I wote the dangers where I ventered No full bag'd man would euer durst haue entered But hauing further shores for to discouer Hereafter now my Pen doth here giue ouer FINIS THE GREAT O TOOLE ENglands Scotlands Irelands Mirror Mars his fellow Rebels Terror These lines doe gallop for their pleasure Writ with neither feet or measure Because Prose Verse or Anticko Story Cannot Blaze O Tooles great Glory GReat Moguls Landlord and both Indies King Whose selfe-admiring Fame dot â— lowdly ring Writes 4. score yeeres More Kingdomes he hath right to The Starres say so And for them be wiâ— Fight toâ— And though this worthlesse Age will not beleeue him But clatter spatter slander scoffe and grieue him Yet he and all the world in this agree That such another TOOLE will deuer bee AN ENCOMIVM OR ENCO-MI-ASS TRICK DEDICATED TO THE VNLIMITED memory of Arthur O Toole or O Toole the Great Being the Sonne and Heire of Brian O Toole Lord of Poores Court and farre Collen in the County of Dublin in the Kingdome of Ireland The Marâ— and Mercury the Agamemnon and Vlisses both for Wisdome and Valour in the Kingdomes of Great Britaine and Ireland Prologue BRaue Vsquebough that fierce Hibernian liquor Assist my braine and make my wit run quicker To heat my Muse like to a well warm'd Chimney I beg thy merry ayde kinde Polyhimny I list not to call Fables into question Nor of Baboones or idle bables jest I on And yet if Sence or reason heere you looke for For neither or for either read this Booke for And if perchance I doe in any word lye Doe as I writ it reade it o'r absurdly Though in these daies there are a Crew of fond men That for inuention striue to goe beyond men And write so humerous Dogmaticall To please my Lord and Lady what d' ee Cail With Inkehorne tearms stiffe quilted bumbastâ—â— And though not vnderstood yet are well tasted And therefore I 'l not reach beyond the bounds of My weake capacity nor search the sounds of Deepe Natures secrets or Arts spacious cirquit My Muse is free from those my selfe will her quâ— But leauing idle toyes with toyle endure I on To write the praise of this braue bold Centutiâ—â— THE ARGVMENT AND MEANING of this following History IN all Ages and Countries it hath euer bin knowne that Famous men haue florished whose worthy Actions and Eminency of place haue euer beene as conspicuous Beacons Burning and blazing to the Spectators view the sparkes and flames whereof hath sometimes kindled Courage in the most coldest and Effeminate Cowards as Thersites amongst the Grecians Amadis de Gaule Sir Huon of Burdeaux in France Sir Beuis Gogmagog Chinon Palmerin Lancelot and Sir Tristram amongst vs here in England Sir Degre Sir Grime and Sir Gray Steele in Scotland Don Quixot with the Spaniards Gargantua almost no where Sir Dagonet and Sir Triamore any where all these and many more of the like Raâ—â— haue fill'd whole Volumes with the ayrie Imaginations of their vnknowne and vnmatchable worths Sâ— Ireland amongst the rest had the Honor to produce and breed a sparke of Valour Wisedome and Magninimity to whom all the Nations of the world must giue place The Great O Toole is the toole that my Muse takes in hand whose praises if they should be set forth to the full would make Apollo and the Muses Barren To whom the nine Worthies were neuer to be compared betwixt whom and Haniball Scipio the Great Pompey or Tamberlaine was such oddes that it was vnfit the best of them should â—ell his stirrop and who by his owne Report in whom Ireland may reioyce and England be merry whose Youth was Dedicated to Mars and his Age to Westminster which ancient Cittie is now honour'd with his beloued Residence To the Honour of the Noble CAPTAINE O TOOLE THou Famous man East West and North and Southward â—om Boreas cold rump t' Austers slauering mouthward â—all Apolloes daughters all to witnes â—uch would I praise thee but my Wit wants fitnesâ— â—â— thou thy selfe of thy selfe canst speake so-well â—â—ut though my Rimes not altogether goe-well â—â—et if the worlds applause would not
and tempestuous stormes at Sea which I haue recited in verse before it pleased God that at the last we entred the Riuer which in my opinion is as good â—â—â— Riuer and with some charge may bee made as passable as the Riuer of Thames is vpwards from Brentford to VVindsor or beyond it the shallow places in it are not many the Mills â—need not be remoued and as for the Weares â—no doubt but they may with conscience bee compounded for By which meanes of Naâ—uigation the whole City and Country would be relieued loyterers turned into labourers penury into plenty to the glory of God the dignity and reputation of your City and the perpetuall worthy memory of all benefactors and well-willers vnto so noble a worke If you will but examine your owne knowledges you shall find that in the whole dominion of England there is not any one Town or City which hath a Nauigable Riuer at it that is poore nor scarce any that are rich which want a Riuer with the benefits of Boats The Towne of Kingston vpon Hull in Yorkshire the Riuer there was cut out of Humber by mens labours 20. miles vp into the Countrey and what the wealth and estate of that Towne is by the onely benefit of that Riuer it is not vnknowne to thousands but you men of Sarum may see what a commodity Nauigation is neerer hand there is your neighbour Sauthampton on the one side and your deere friend Poole on the other are a paire of hansome looking-Glasses for you where you may see your want in their abundance and your negligence in their industry God hath placed your being in a fertile soyle in a fruitfull valley enuironed round with Corâ—le and as it were continually beâ—â—â—eged with plenty whilst you within haâ—â—ing so many poore amongst you are rather lookers vpon happinesse then enioyers moreouer by Gods appointment Nature hath saued you the labour of cutting a Riuer for I thinke you haue one there as old as your City ready made to your hands if you will be but industrious to amend those impediments in it I dare vndertake to be one of the 3. or 4. men which shall bring or carry 16. or 20. Tuns of goods betwixt the Sea and your City Now with extreme toyle of men Horses and Carts your wood is brought to you 18. or 20. miles whereby the poore which cannot reach the high prices of your fewell are enforced to steale or starue in the Winter so that all your neere adioyning woods are continually spoyled by them which faults by the benefit of the Riuer would be reformed for the new Forrest standeth so neere to the water that it is but cut the wood and put it into a Boate which shall bring as much to your City as twenty Carts and fourescore Horses besides by this Riuer you might draw to you a trade of Sea-coale which would enrich you and helpe the plaine and inland Townes and Villages where no wood growes And for the Exportation of your Corne from Port to Port within our owne Countrey as it is well knowne what abundance of your Barley is continually made into Mault amongst you which if you had carriage for it might bee brewed into Beere wherewith you might serue diuers places with your Beere which is now serued with your Mault besides carriages of Brickes Tyles Stones Charcoales and other necessaries which is now carried at deare rates by Horse or Carts which now you send in Carts or on Horses backes to Southampton to Bristow and to many other places so that the dearenesse of the Carriages eats vp all your commodities and profit which discommodity may be auoyded if your Riuer bee cleansed and what man can tell what good in time may redound to your City from the Sea by forraigne goods which may bee brought into Christ-Church Hauen by Shipping nor can it be truly imagined what new and vsefull profitable businesses may arise in time by this meanes Our Forefathers and Ancestors did in their liues time in former ages doe many worthy and memorable workes but for all their industry and cost they did not or could not doe all but as there was much done to our hands so there was much left for vs to doe and very sitting it was that it should bee so for it is against common sence and reason our Fathers should toyle in good workes like drudges and wee spend our times loytring like Drones no what they did was for our imitation And withall that wee should bee leaders of our posterities by our examples into laudable endeauours as our progenitors haue before shewed vs wee are their sonnes and off-spring wee haue their shapes and figures we beare their names we possesse their goods we inherit their lands wee haue materials of Stones Timber Iron and such necessaries which they had if not in greater abundance and hauing all these let vs withall haue their willing and liberall hearts and there is no question to be made but that our Riuer of Auâ—n wil quickly be clensed to the honest enriching of the rich and the charitable relieuing of the poore I am assured that there are many good men in the City and County of Wiltshire and others of worth and good respect in this Kingdome who would willingly and bountifully assist this good worke but like Gossips neere a Stile they stand straining courtesie who shall goe first or the Mice in the Fable not one will aduenture to hang the Bell about the Cats necke So that if one good man would begin it would bee like a health dranke to some beloued Prince at a great feast pledged most heartily and by Gods grace effected most happily You haue already begun a charitable work amongst you I meane your common Towne Brew house the profit of which you entend shall be wholly imployed for the supply of the poore and Impotents which liue in your City from which sort of people being such a multitude the Brewers there haue found their best custome for no doubt but the meanest begger amongst you is in some sort more valiant then the richest man because the one dares to spend all he hath at the Alchouse so dares not the other for the poore man drinks stifly to driue care away and hath nothing to lose and the rich man drinks moderately because he must beare a braine to look to what hee hath And of all Trades in the world a Brewer is the Load-stone which drawes the customes of all functions vnto â—â—â— It is the mark or vpshot of euery mans ayme and the bottomlesse whirlepoole that swallowes vp the profits of rich and poore The Brewers Art like a wilde Kestrell or vnmand Hawke flies at all games or like a But leâ—â— boxe at Christmasse it is sure to winne whosoeuer loses In a word it rules and raignes in some sort as Augustus Casar did for â—â— taxeth the whole earth Your Innes and Aâ—â—-houses are Brookes and Riuers and their Clyents are small Rills and Springs who
the poorer in spirit though not in purse but if a proud Diues handle it he will esteeme it worse then his Dogges if a proud Courtier reade it hee will teare it to tatters whilst a Generous Affable Gentleman will louingly entertaine it If beauty chance to behold it it will bid it welcome if Pride stand not in the way if a strong man that is not proud of it grow acquainted with the contents of my meaning I thinke it will content him if Parents or children or all or any body that are not poysoned with pride doe but see or heare it distinctly read and vnderstand it with iudgement I am perswaded it will passe and repasse with friendly vsage but if any of the contrary faction come within the Aire of it they will vse it in some sort as bad as the hangman will vse them And So much for To no matter who It is no great matter where this be read for as a good man being banished is neuer out of his Country because all Countries are his so my Booke in Church Court Citty Countrey or Cottage is one and the same it may perhaps alter the place where it comes from worse to better but the place can neuer alter the honest intents of it from better to worse Therefore no great matter where To be read there is matter why because it strikes at the roote of a most deadly sinne which almost as bad as an vniuersall deluge hath ouerflowed the most part of the world and though the Preachers on Earth Gods Trumpets and Ambassadours from Heauen doe diligently and daily strike at this abomination with the eternall Sword of the euerlasting Word yet what they cut downe in the day like Mushromes it growes vp againe thicke and threeâ—old in the night for whilst the husband-man sleepes the enuious man sowes tares Wherefore I hauing a talent of knowledge lent me by which I know that I must render an account one day how I haue imployed it and hauing written neere forty seuerall Pamphlets in former times I purpose henceforward God willing to redeeme the time I haue so mis-spent imploying my Pen in such exercises which though they be not free from a rellish of mirth yet they shall be cleare from profanation scurrillity or obsceannesse I doe know Pride is at such a height that my Mole-hill Muse can neuer by mineing at her foote shake her head for where Diuinity preuailes not Poetry in meddling doth but shew the Suns brightnes with a Candle Yet forasmuch as I know that Pride cast Angels out of Heauen made diuels in hell threw man out of Paradise was a maine causer of the drowning of the first World is a deuourer of this world and shall euer be accursed in the world to come by this knowledge I haue with a mix'd inuectiue mildnesse shewed in this Booke the vanities of all sorts of Pride not that I hope for amendment but to shew my honest intendment I haue seene sixe or seuen fashion hunting Gallants together sit scorning and deriding a better man then themselues onely because either his Hat was of the old Blocke or that his Ruffe was not so richly lac'd his Cloake hath beene too plaine his Beard of the old translation his Bootes and Spurres of the precedent second edition and for such slight occasions a man hath beene slighted ieerd and wonderd at as if he had beene but a Zany to the fashion or a man made for the purpose for them to whet their scorne vpon and therefore to reade this there is a matter why It is not much matter when for be it read on Friday the Turks Holyday on Saturday the Iewes Sabbath on Sunday the Lords Day or on any day or all dayes nights or houres there is Diuinitie with Alaâ—ritie Poetrie with mirth and euery thing so interwouen one with another that if it please not the generality yet I hope in particularitie it will tolerably censur'd by all that hate Pride and loue humility And therefore not much matter when IOHN TAYLOR A FEW LINES TO SMALL PVRPOSE AGAINST THE SCANDALOVS ASPERSIONS that are either maliciously or ignorantly cast vpon the Poets and Poems of these Times THere doth a strange and true opinion runne That Poets write much worse then they haue don And how so poore their daily writings are As though their best inuentions were thread-bare And how no new things from them now do spring But all hath ref'rence from some other thing And that their daily doings doe reueale How they from one another filch and steale As if amongst them 't were a statute made That they may freely vse the theeuing trade And some there are that will not sticke to say That many Poets liuing at this day Who haue the Hebrew Latine Greeke at will And in th' Italian and the French haue skill These are the greatest theeues they say of all That vse the Trade or Art Poeticall For ancient Bards and Poets in strange toungs Compiled haue their verses and their songs And those to whoÌ„ those tongues are rightly known Translating them make others verse their owne As one that steales a Cloake and presently Makes it his owne by alt'ring of the dye So whole bookes and whole sentences haue bin Stolne and the stealers great applause did win And by their filching thought great men of fame By those that knew not the right Authors name For mine owne part my Conscience witnesse is In'er was guilty of such theft as this Vnto such robbery I could neuer reach Because I vnderstand no forreigne speach To prooue that I am from such filching free Latin and French are heathen-Greeke to me The Grecian and the Hebrew Charactars I know as well as I can reach the Stars The sweet Italian and the Chip Chop Dutch I know the man i' th Moone can speake as much Should I from English Authors but purloyne It would be soone found counterseited coyne Then since I cannot steale but some will spy â—le truely vse mine owne let others lye Yet to excuse the writers that now write Because they bring no better things to light 'T is because bounty from the world is fled True liberality is almost dead Reward is lodg'd in darke obliuion deep Bewitch't I thinke into an endlesse sleepe That though a man in study take great paines And empt his veines puluerize his braines To write a Poem well which being writ With all his Iudgement Reason Art and Wit And at his owne charge print and pay for all And giue away most free and liberall Two three or foure or fiue hundred bookes For his reward he shall haue nods and lookes That all the profit a mans paines hath gat Will not suffice one meale to feed a Cat. Yet still Noble Westminster thou still art free And for thy bounty I am bound to thee For hadst not thou and thy Inhabitants From Time to Time relieu'd and help'd my want I had long since bid Poetry adieu And therefore still my thankes shall be
expressed by Saint Paul Romans 9. 3. Where he saith For I would wish myselfe to be separated from Christ for my brethren that are my kinsmen according to the flesh Thus these two blessed Lamps or Beacons which God appointed to illuminate his Church did desire the dreadfull Curse of Gods heauy and eternall wrath to fall vpon them for euer rather then Gods honour should be violated or their brethren befor euer reprobates These two last Curses of Moses and Paul against themselues were so great and good examples of true zeale to God and loue to our neighbours that though it be long since they liued yet I haue not read or heard of any that euer imitated them Moses as a Type of Christ before his Incarnation and Paul as a follower of Christs example after his bitter death and passion did both wish themselues to be accursed to the end that thereby so many of their miserabeb rethren might be blessed so our Sauiour Christ though hee were and is the fountaine of all blessing yet hee was contented to be made a Curse for as many as would lay hold on the promises of God by faith in him Galatians 3 23 14. And thus I conclude my third part of this Treatise of Man Cursing himselfe Fourthly When Man Curseth or Blasphemeth God THis sinne is as it may rightly be called a degree beyond sinne for this is the sword which the Deuill doth put into mad-mens hands wherewith they doe wound themselues mortally for there were neuer yet any that durst to lift vp this Cursed weapon of Blasphemy against God but that the point thereof did alwayes turne into their owne bosomes to their destructions or most grieuous calamities as Pharaoh when hee said Who is the Lord I know not the Lord neither will I leâ—â— Israel goe Exodus 5. 2. and Sennacherib King of Assyria by the mouth of his seruant Rabshakeh blasphemed the Name of the Lord of Hoasts 2. Kings 18. Where he doth impiously extoll the Heathen Idols aboue the God of Israel saying verse 34. and 35. Whence is the God of Hamath and of Arpad Where is the God of Sepharuatm Heua and Iuab How haue they deliuered Samaria out of mine hand The like did Holophernes Iudith 6. 3. when he threatned the Israelites in Bethuliah saying That their God should not deliuer them When he had set vp his golden Image threatning all that would not fall down and worship it with most cruell torments to death he proudly said Who is that God that can deliuer you out of mine hands Nicanor Lieutenant Generall or Captaine of the Host of King Demetrius 2. Machabeus 15. Against Iudas Machabeus and the Host of Israel whom he purposed to inuade vpon the Sabbath day said verse 3. Is there a Lord in Heauen that commandeth the Sabbath day to be kept and verse 4. when they said There is a liuiâ—â— Lord which ruleth in the Heauen who commanded the seuenth day to be kept then he said And I am mighty vpon Earth to command them for to arms themselues and to performe the Kings busines But this Blasphemons miscreant had his hire for he lost 35000. of his men in the battell and himselfe was slaine and his head hand and shoulder brought in triumph to the City of Ierusalem and his accursed tongue cut out and cut in small pieces and giuen to the fowles of the Ayre as the same chapteâ— doth declare The Scribes and Pharises Marke 3. 22. did Blaspheme our Sauiour and said hee had Deuill and that through the power of Beelzebub he did cast out Deuils out of the possessed But as the liues of these and all other Blasphemers were odious and execrable so were their deaths and punishments miserable and remarkable for Pharaoh after the enduring of many most grieuous plagues lost his Kingdome and his life he and all his Army being drowned in the red Sea Exod. 14. 27 28. Sennacherib for his Blasphemy lost in one night 185000. men all of them being slaine by the Angell of the Lord himselfe being forced to flee to saue his life where at his returne to his Kingdome he was slaine by his owne sonnes in the Temple at Nineueh as he was at the vngodly worship of his god Nisroch 2. Kings 19. 37. Holophernes that blasphemous Champion was by Gods iust Iudgement being asleepe in his Tent and drunken although he were in his Camp amidst a great Army of his owne rusty Souldiers yet was his head smote from his shoulders by a woman and carried â—nto the City of Bethulia and there vpon the highest place of the walles set vp in memoriall of Gods vengeance and his peoples victory â—deth 14. 1. Nebuchà dnezzar was for his blasphemy depriued of his manly reason and Kingdome â—nd for seuen yeeres space liued as a beast among the beasts of the field Daniel 4. 30. The Scribes and Pharises who were the onâ—y men in reuerend estimation amongst the â—ewes as being the writers and expounders of the Lawes for their blasphemy were deliuered vp into most miserable captiuity and â—â—erpetuall slauery as is before expressed God is iealous of the honour of his Name that he commanded the blasphemer â—o be stoned to death Leuiticus 24. 14. Which was forthwith executed vpon him in the â—3 verse For which cause when that blessed man Iob was in his greatest afflictions sitting in â—â—shes full of Byles and sores then his wife perswaded him to Curse or blaspheme God and dye Iob 2. 9. She well knowing that the Law was so strict that for euery such â—ffence there was a speedy execution of death and so by that meanes shee would haue perswaded him to haue been quickly dispatched out of his paine and misery Briefly then to conclude this short Treatise Cursing I beseech you brethren by the â—percies of God that you all haue an especiall â—â—are not to blaspheme the holy and glorious Name of our good and gracious Creator Redeemer and Sanctifier that we by our Cursing doe not turne his blessings into a Curse vpon vs and our posterity here and eternally thereafter that wee bee not so much out of â—oue charity and obedience as to Curse our Superiours neighbours or any other persons or lastly that wee bee not so wilfully â—â—ad to Curse ourselues all which Cursed â—â—eanes are the causes to plucke downe vpon our heads the dreadfull Curses of the Almighty as it hath done in all times and ages vpon Blasphemers and Cursers Against Swearing WHen man hath so farre offended God by his disobedience that hee had thereby purchased to himselfe and all his posterity perpetuall damnation not knowing which way to turne himselfe from the Almighties wrath and much lesse knowing how to bee repossest in his fauour when vndeserued vnknowne vnhoped for mans infinite misery was to bee cured by his Creators infinite mercy then at that time if God had giuen man leaue to aske some great gift which he might be redeemed by had he had licence to desire or request what
feete And makes them his perfume alongst the streets A fourth hath got a powne'd Pommander box With woorme-wood iuice or sweating of a Fox Rue steep'd in vineger they hold it good To cheere the sences and preserue the blood Whilst Bellets Bonefire-like and faggots dry Are burnt i' th streetes the Aire to purifie Thou great Almightis giue them time and space And purifie them with thy heauenly Grace Make their repentance Incense whose sweet faure May mount vnto thy Throne and gaine thy fâ—ure Thus euery sence that should the heart delight Are Ministers and organs to affright The Citizens doe from the City runne The Countries feares the Citizens doe shunne Both feare the Plague but neither feares one iot The euill wayes which hath the plague begot This is the way this sickenes to preuent Feare to offend more then the punishment All trades are dead or almost out of breath But such as line by sickenesse or by death The Mercers Grocers Silk-men Goldsmiths Dâ—per Are out of Season like noone burning Tapers All functions faile almost through want of buyer And euery art and mysterie turne Dyers The very Water-men giue ouer plying Their rowing tade doth faile they fall to dring Some men there are that râ—â—e by others falls Propheticke Augurists in vrinals Those are right water-men and rowe so well They either land their fares in Heau'n or Hell I neuer knew them yet to make a stay And land at Purgatory by the way The Reason very plainely doth appeare Their patients feele their Pargatory here But this much Reader you must vnderstand They commonly are paid before they land Next vnto him th' Apothecarie thriues By Physicke bills and his preseruatiues Worme-eaten Sextons mighty gaines doe witine And natty Grane-makers great commings in And Cossin-makers are well paid their rent For many a woefull woodden tenement For which the Trunk-makers in Pauls Church-yard A large Reuenue this sad yeere haue shar'd Their liuing Customers for Trunkes were fled They now made chests or Cossins for the dead The Searchers of each corps good gainers be The Bearers haue a profitable fee And last the Dog-killers great gaines abounds For Brayning brawling currs and foisting hounds These are the grane trades that doe get and saue Whose grauity brings many to theit graue Thus grieued Lonaon sit'd with mones and grones Is like a Golgotha of dead mens bones The field where death his bloudy fray doth fight And kild a thousand in a day and night Faire houses that were latee exceeding deare At fifty or an hundred pounds a yeare The Landlords are so pittifull of late They le let them at a quarter of the rate So he that is a mightie moneyed man Let him but thither make what haste he can Let him disburse his gold and siluer heape And purchase London 't is exceeding cheape But if he tarrie but one three months more I hope 't will be as deare as 't was before A Country cottage that but lately went At foure markes or at three pounds yeerely rent A Citizen whose meere necessity Doth force him now into the Country fly Is glad to hire two Chambers of a Carter And pray pay with thankes fiue Pounds a quarter Then here 's the alteration of this yeare The Citties cheapenes makes the Country deare Besides another mischiefe is I see A man dares not besicke although he be Let him complaine but of the sioâ—c or gout The plague hath strooke him presently they doubt My selfe hath beene perplexed now and then With the wind Collick yeeres aboue thrice ten Wh'ch in the Country I drust not repeate Although my pangs gripes paines were great For to be sicke of any kind of griefe Would make a man worse welcome then a thiefe To be drunke sicke which or'st did credit winne Was fear'd infectious and held worse then sinne This made me and a many more beside Their griefes to smother and their paines to hide To tell a mery tale with Visage glad When as the Collick almost made me mad Thus meere dissembling many practis'd then And mid'st of paine seem'd pleasant amongst men For why the smallest sigh or grone or shrieke Would make a man his meat and lodging seeke This was the wretched Londoners hard case Most hardly welcome into any place Whil'st Country people where so'ere they went Would stop their Noses to auoid their sent When as the case did oft most plaine appeare 'T was onely they themselues that stunke with feare Nature was dead or from the Country runne A Father durst not entertaine his Sonne The Mother sees her Daughter and doth feare her Commands her on her blessing not come neere her Affinity nor any kinde of Kinne Or ancient friendship could true welcome winne The Children scarcely would their Parents know Or did if they but slender duty shew Thus feare made nature most vnnaturall Duty vndutifull or very small No friendship or else cold and miserable And generally all vncharitable Nor London Letters little better spod They would not be receiu'd much lesse be read But cast into the fire and burnt with speed As if they had bin Hereticks indeed And late I saw vpon a Sabbath day Some Citizens at Church prepar'd to pray But as they had bin excommunicate The good Church-wardeÌ„s thrust them out the gate Another Country vertue I 'le repeat The peoples charity was growne so great That whatsoeuer Londonor did dye In Church or Church-yard should not buried lye Thus were they scorn'd despised banished Excluded from the Church aliue and dead Aliue their bodies could no harbour haue And dead not be allow'd a Christian Graue Thus was the Countryes kindnesse cold and small No house no Church no Christian buriall Oh thou that on the winged windes dost sit And seest our misery remedy it Althogh we haue deseru'd thy vengeance hot Yet in thy jury Lord consume vs not But in thy mercies sheath thy slaying sword Deliuer vs according to thy word Shut vp thy Quiuer stay thy angry rod That all the world may know thou art our God Oh open wide the gate of thy compassion Assure our soules that thou art câ—â—r Saluation Then all our thoughts words works wee 'le frame To magnifie thy great and glorious Name The wayes of God are intricate no doubt Vnsearchable and passe mans finding out He at his pleasure worketh wond'rous things And in his hand doth hold the hearts of Kings And for the loue which to our King he beares By sickenes he our sinfull Country cleares That he may be a Patrone and a guide Vnto a people purg'd and purifi'd This by a president is manifest When famous late Elizabeth deceast Before our gracious Iames put on the Crowne Gods hand did cut superstuous branches downe Not that they then that were of life bereft Were greater sinners then the number left But that the Plague should then the Kingdome cleare The good to comfort and the bad to feare That as a good King God did vs assure So he
man would lend spend it I could get begge if I had the impudence and steale if I durst aduenture the price of a hanging but my purpose was to house my horse and to suffer him and my apparell to lye in durance or Lauender in stead of Litter till such time as I could meete with some valiant friend that would desperately disburse Walking thus downe the street my body being tyred with trauell and my minde attyred with moody muddy Moore-ditch melancholly my Contemplation did deuoutly pray that I might meete one or other to prey vpon being willing to take any slender acquaintance of any map whatsoeuer viewing and circumviewing euery mans face I met as if I meant to drawe his picture but all my acquaintance was Nonest Inuentus pardon me Reader that Latine is none of mine owne I sweare by Priscians Parteranion an oath which I haue ignorantly broken many times At last I resolu'd that the next Gentleman that I met withall should be acquaintance whether hee would or no and presently fixing mine eyes vpon a Gentleman-like obiect I looked on him as if I would suruay something through him and make him my perspectiue and hee much musing at my gazing and I much gazing at his musing at last he crost the way and made toward me and then I made downe the street from him leauing to encounter with my man who came after me leading my horse whom he thus accosted My friend quoth he doth yonder Gentleman meaning me know me that he lookes so wistly on me Truely Sir said my man I thinke not but my Matter is a stranger come from London and would gladly meete some acquaintance to direct him where he may haue lodging and horse-meate Presently the Gentleman being of a generous disposition ouer-tooke me with vnexpected and vndeserued courtesie brought me to a lodging and caused my horse to bee put into his owne stable whilest we discoursing ouer a pinte of Spanish I related as much English to him as made him lend me tenne shillings his name was Master Iohn Maxwell which money I am sure was the first that I handled after I came from out the walls of London but hauing rested two houres and refreshed my selfe the Gentleman and I walked to see the City and the Castle which as my poore vnable and vnworthy pen can I will truly describe The Castle on a loftie Rocke is so strongly grounded bounded and founded that by force of man it can neuer be confounded the Foundation and Walls are vnpenetrable the Rampiers impregnable the Bulwarkes inuincible no way but one to it is or can be possible to be made passable In a word I haue seene many Straights and Fortresses in Germany the Netherlands Spaipe and England but they must all giue place to this vnconquered Castle both for strength and scituation Amongst the many memorable things which I was shewed there I noted especially a great peece of Ordnance of Iron it is not for batterie but it will serue to defend a breach or to tosse balies of wilde-fire against any that should assaile or assault the Castle it lyes now dismonted And it is so great within that it was told me that a Childe was once gotten there but I to make tryall crept into it lying on my backe and I am sure there was roome enough and spare for a greater then my selfe So leauing the Castle as it is both defensiue against any opposition and magnificke for lodging and receite I descended lower to the City wherein I obserued the fairest and goodliest streete that euer mine eyes beheld for I did neuer see or heare of a street of that length which is halfe an English mile from the Castle to a faire Port which they call the Neather-bow and from that Port the streete which they call the Kemâ—â—â—â—ate is one quarter of a mile more downe to the Kings Palace called Holy-rood-House the buildings on each side of the way being all of squared stone fiue six and seuen stories high and many by-Lanes and Closes on each side of the way wherein are Gentlemens houses much fairer then the buildings in the high-street for in the high-street the Marchants and Tradesmen do dwell but the Gentlemens mansions and goodliest houses are obscurely fonnded in the aforesaid Lanes the Walles are eight or tenne foote thicke exceeding strong not built for a day a weeke or a moneth or a yeere but from Antiquitie to Posteritie for many Ages There I found entertainement beyond my expectation or merit and there is fish flesh bread and fruit in such variety that I thinke I may offencelesse call it super fluity or saciety The worst was that Wine and Ale was so scarce and the people there such Mizers of it that euery night before I went to bed if any man had asked me a ciuill question all the wit in my head could not haue made him a sober answer I was at his Maiesties Palace a stately and Princely seate wherein I saw a sumptuous Chappell most richly adorned with all appurtenances belonging to so sacred a place or so Royall an owner In the inner Court I saw the Kings Armes cunningly carued in stone and fixed ouer a doore aloft on the wall the red Lyon being the Crest ouer which was written this inscription in Latine Nobis hat inuâ—cta miserunt 106. proaui I enquired what the English of it was it was told me as followeth which I thought worthy to be recorded 106. Fore-fathers haue left this to vs vnchnquered This is a worthy and memorable Motto and I thinke few kingdomes or none in the world can truly write the like that notwithstanding so many inroades incursions attemps assaults Ciuill warres and forraigne hostilities bloody battels and mighty foughten fields that maugre the strength and policy of enemies that Royall Crowne and Scepter hath from one hundred and seuen descents kept still vnconquered and by the power of the King of Kings through the grace of the Prince of peace is now left peacefully to our peacefull King whom long in blessed peace the God of peace defend and gouerne But once more a word or two of Eâ—â—â—â—â— rough although I haue scarcely giuent it that due which belongs vnto it for their lofty and stately buildings and for their faire and spacious streete yet my minde perswades me that they in former ages that first founded that Citie did not so well in that they built it in so diâ—â— commodious a place for the Sea and all nauigable riuers being the chiefe meanes for the enriching of Townes and Cities by the reason of Traffique with forraine Nations with exportation transportation and receite of variety of Marchandizing so this Citie had it beene built but one mile lower on the Sea fide I doubt not but it had long before this beene comparable to many a one of our greatest Townes and Cities in Europe both for spaciousnesse of bounds Port state and riches It is said that King Iames the fifth of famous memory did
her commanding that all â—â—â—â— victuals in the house should be laid on the Tâ—ble She said she was but slenderly prouideâ— by reason goodman Wood was there but wâ—â— she had or could doe wee should preâ—caâ—â— haue so the cloth was displaid the salt â—â— aduanc'd sixe penny wheaten loaues wâ—â— mounted two stories high like a Rampiâ— three sixe-penny Veâ—le pyes wall'd shâ—â— about and well victual'd within were presented to the hazzard of the Scalado one ponâ—â— of sweet butter being all fat and no bones was in a cold sweat at this mighty preparations one good dish of Thorneback white as Aâ—baster or the Snow vpon the Scithian mountaines and in the Reare came vp an inch thâ—â— shyuer of a Peck house-hold loase all which prouision were presently in the space of â— houre vtterly confounded and brought to â—â— thing by the meere and onely valourous desterity of our vnmatchable grand Gurmouâ—â— he couragiously past the Pikes and I cleared â—â—shot but the house yeelded no more so â—â—â—â— Guess arose vnsatisfied and my selfe â—â— contended in beingâ— thrifty and sauing my â—oney against my will â—â— did there offer him twenty shillings to bring â—â— vp to my house on the Bank-side â—â— there I would haue giuen him as much â—â—od meate as he would eate in tenne dayes â—â—e after another fiue shillings a day euery â—â— and at the tenne dayes end twenty shilâ—ings more to bring him downe againe I did â—y offer tenne shillings to one Ieremy Robinson â—Glouer a man very inward with him to atâ—â—nd anâ— keepe him company and two shillings six pence the day with good dyet and â—â—lging all which were once accepted vnâ—â—â— Wood began to ruminate and examine what â—â—ruice he was to doe for these large allowâ—ces Now my plot was to haue him to the â—eare-garden and there before a house full of â—â—eople he should haue eaten a wheele barrow â—ll of Tripes and the next day as many pudâ—ing should reach ouer the Thames at a â—â—lace which I would measure betwixt London and sRichmond the third day I would haue allowed him a fat Calfe or Sheepe of twenty â—hillings price and the fourth day he should â—aue had thirty Sheepes Gathers thus from day to day he should haue had wages dyet with variety but he fearing that which his meâ—ts would amount to vnto brake off the match â—aying that perhaps when his Grace I guesse who he meant should heare of one that ate so much and could worke so little he doubted there would come a command to hang him where upon our hopefull Beare-garden busines was shiuerd and shattered in pieces Indeed hee made a doubt of his expected performance in his quality by reason of his being growne in yeeres so that if his stomack should faile him publikely and lay his reputation in the mire it might haue beene a disâ—aragement to him for euer and especially in Kent where he hath long beene famous hee would be loth to be defamed But as weake as â—he was he said that he could make a shift to destroy a fat Weather of a pound in two houres prouided that it were tenderly boild for he hath lost all his teeth except one in eating a quarter of Mutton bone and all at Ashford in the County aforesaid yet is he â—ery quicke and nimble in his feeding and will ridde more Eating worke away in two houres then tenne of the hungriest Carters in the Parish where he dwells He is surely noble for his great Stomacke and vertuous chiefely for his patience in putting vp much moreoeuer he is thirfty or frugaâ—l for when he can get no better meate he will eate Oxe Liuers or a messe of warme Ale-graines from a Brew-house He is prouident and studious where to get more prouision as soone as all is spent and yet hee is bountifull or prodigall in spending all hee hath at once hee is profitable in keeping bread and meate from mould and Maggots and sauing the charge of salt for his appetite will not waite and attend the poudring his courtesie is manifest for he had rather haue one Farewâ—â— then twenty Godbwyes Of all things hee holds fasting to be a most superstitious branch of Popery he is a maine enemy to Ember weekes he hates Lent worse then a Butcher or a Puritan and the name of Good-friday affrights him like a Bulbegger a long Grace before meate strikes him into a Quotidian Ague in a word hee could wish that Christmas would dwell with vs all the yeere or that euery day were metamorphozâ—d into Shrouetuesdayes in briefe he is a Magazine a store-house a Receptacle a Burse or Exchange a Babel or confusion for all Creatures Hee is no Gamester neither at Dice or Cards yet there is not any man within forty miles of his head that can play with him at Maw and though his pasture be neuer so good he is alwayes like one of Pharaohs leane Kine he is swarty blackish haire Hawk-nosed like a Parrot or a Roman hee is wattle-lawde and his eyes are sunke inward as if hee looked into the inside of his intrayles to note what custom'd or vncustom'd goods he tooke in whilst his belly like a Maine-sayle in a calme hangs ruffled and wrinkled in folds and wrathes flat to the mast of his empty caâ—kasse till the storme of aboundance fills it and violently driues it into the full sea of satisfaction LIke as a Riuer to the Ocean bounds Or as a Garden to all Britaines grounds Or like a Candle to a flaming Linck Or as a single Ace vnto Sise Cinque So short am I of what Nick Wood hath done That hauing ended I haue scarce begun For I haue written but a taste in this To shew my Readers where and what he is FINIS TO THE SIR REVERENCE RICH VVORSHIPPED M r TRIM TRAM SENCELES GREAT IMAGE OF AVTHORITY and Hedgborough of the famous City of Goteham and to the rest of that admired and vnmatchable Senate with their Corruptions and Families MOst Honorificicabilitudinitatibus I hauing studied the seuen Lubberly Sciences being nine by computation out of which I gathered three coniunctions foure mile Asse-vnder which with much labour and great ease to little or no purpose I haue noddicated to your gray graue and grauelled Prate â—ction I doubt not but I might haue had a Patron neerer hand as the Deane of Dunstable or the Beadle of Layton Buzzard but that I know the Phrase Methode and Stile is not for euery mans vnderstanding no my most renowned Pythagor-Asses for you this Hogshead of inuention was brewed and broched for I am ignorantly perswaded that your wisedome can picke as much matter out of this Booke in one day as both the Vniuersities can in twelue moneths and thirteene Moones with six times foure yeeres to boot I know your bounties too exding for as old mother Baly said the wit of man was much when she saw a dog muzzled Euery man is not borne to make a Monument for the Cuckoo to send a Trifoote home
exprest Which to require my thankfulnesse I 'l show â—nd that I 'l euer pay and euer owe. On Tuesday morning we with maine and might From Portsmouth crost vnto the â—â—e of Wight By Cowes ftout Castle we to â— armouth hasted And still the windes and Seas fierce fury lasted On Wedn'â—day we to Hursts strong Castle crost Most dangerously sowsd turmoyl'd and tost Good harbour there we found and nothing deere I thanke kinde * â—atthew Figge a right good fellow M. Figge the Porter there He shew'd vs there a Castle of defence Most vsefull of a round circumference Of such command that none can passe those Seas Vnsunke or spoyl'd except the Castle please On Thursday we our Boat row'd pull'd and hal'd Vnto a place which is Kâ—y Hauen call'd The winde still blowing and the Sea so high As if the lofty waues would kisse the skie That many times I wish'd with all my hart My selfe my Boat and Crue all in a Cart Or any where to keepe vs safe and dry The weather raged so out ragiously For sure I thinke the memory of man Since windes aâ—d Seas to blow or flow began Cannot remember so stormy weather In such continuance held so long together For ten long weekes e'r that t is manifest The wind had blown at South or west Southwest And rais'd the Seas to shew each others power That all this space caâ—me weather not one hower That whether we did goe by Sunne or Moone At anytime at midnight or at noone If we did launce or if to land we set We still were sure to be halfe sunke and wet Thus toyling of our weary time away That Thursday was our last long look'd for day For hauing past with perill and much paine And plow'd furrow'd o'r the daugerous maine O'r depths and flats and many a ragged Rocke We came to Christ-Church Hau'n at fiue a clocke Thus God in mercy his iust iudgement sparing Gainst our presumption ouer-bold and daring Who made vs see his wonders in the deepe And that his power alone aloft did keepe Our weather-beaten Bonte aboue the waues Each moment gaping to be all our Graues We sinking seap'd then not to vs to Him Be all the Glory for he causd vs sâ—im And for his mercy was so much extended On me whose temptings had so farre offended Let me be made the scorne and scoffe of men If euer I attempt the like agen My loue my duty and my thankfulnesse To Sir George Hastings I must here expresse His deedes to me I must requite in words No other payment poore mens state affords With fruitlesse words I pay him for his cost With thanks to M r. Templeman mine host So leauing Christ-Church and the Hauen there With such good friends as made vs welcome â—â—â— Some serious matter now I must compile And thus from verse to prose I change my stile GOD who of his infinite wisdome made Man of his vnmeasured mercy redeemed him of his boundlesse bounty immense power and eternall eye of watchfull prouidence relieues guards and conserues him It is necessary that euery man seriously consider and ponder these things and in token of obedience and thankfulnesse say with Dauid What shall I render and the man hauing thus searched considerately the Causer of his being then let him againe meditate for * Men should consider why God hath giuen them a being in this life what cause hee hath a being indeed it may be obiected that almost euery thing hath a being as stones haue being trees hearbs and plants haue being and life Beasts fowles and fishes haue being life and sence but to man is giuen a Being life sence and reason and after a mortal an immortal euer-being This coÌ„sideration will make a man know that hee hath little part of himselfe which hee may iustly call his owne his body is Gods he made it his soule is his who bought it his goods are but lent him by him that will one day call him to a reckoning for the well or ill disposing of them so that man hauing nothing but what he hath receiued and receiued nothing but what is to be imployed in the seruice of God and consequently his Prince and Countrey it is plainely to be perceiued that euery man hath * No man is owner of himselfe the least share or portion of himselfe to boast of I haue written this Preamble not onely to enforme such as know not these things already but also to such whose knowledge is as it were falne into a dead sleepe who doe liue as though there were no other being then here and that their life and being was ordayned onely of themselues neither God Prince or Countrey hauing no share or portion of them or of what they call theirs But oh you Inhabitants of Salisbury I hope there are â—â—â— such crawling Cankerwormes or Commâ—â— wealth Caterpillers amongst you Nay I â—â—â— assured of the contrary that there are maâ—â—â— who with religious piety open hands â—â—â— relenting hearts doe acknowledge that yoâ—â— goods are but lent in trust vnto you and â—â—â— patiently beare the ouer-burthensome â—â—â—uing of many hundreds of poore wretâ—â—â— which were it not for your charity woâ—â—â— perish in your streets This being entred into my consideration that your City is so * Here is an honest course set downe for the inrichingâ—â— your rich and the relieuing of your poore much ouercharged â—â—â— poore as hauing in three Parishes neere â—â—â— besides decayed men a great many and â—â—â— those few which are of the wealthier sort â—â—â— continually onerpressed with sustaining â—â— wants of the needy the City being as it â—â—â— at the last gaspe the poore being like Phâ—â—ohs leane Kine euen ready to eat vp the â—â—â— ones I haue made bold to write this Trâ—â—tise ensuing both to entreat a constant perâ—uerance in those who haue begun to doe goâ—â— workes and an encouragement or animaâ—â—â— of all others who as yet seeme slow in theâ—â— good proceedings And if any thing heâ—â— written by me be either impertinent exâ—â—uagant rude harsh or ouer-bold I humbâ—â— entreat you to impute it rather to my want â—â—â— iudgement learning and capacity then to â—ny presumption or want of loue and duty â—â—â— the City cause which is hereafter handled It is sufficiently knowne that my intent and purpose at this time was not to make any profit to my selfe ' vpon any aduenture as it is deemed by many by my passage from London â—â— Salisbury with a Wherry but I was entread by a * His â—â—â—â— Gregory Bastable and his ordinary place where he â—â—â— or attends his labour is at the Temple and there also â—â—â— Thomas Estman another Wiltshire man which wiâ—â—â—â— Waterman which was born in Salisbury that I would beare him company for the discouery of the sands flats depths shoales Mils and Weares which are impediments and ' lets whereby the Riuer is not Nauigable from Christ-Church or the Sea to Salisbury Which after many dangerous gusts
all very dutifully doe pay their tributes to the boundlesse Ocean of the Brewhouse For all the world knowes that if men and women did drinke no more then sufficed Nature â—â— if it were but a little extraordinary now and then vpon occasion or by chance as you may terme it if drinking were vsed in any reason or any reason vsed in drinking I pray ye what would become of the Brewer then Surely we doe liue in an age wherein * Some make a profit of quarelling some pick their â—â—â— out of conteâ—â—â— and â—cbate some thriue and grow â—â—â— gluttoâ—y many are brauely maintained by Bribery that cheating roguery villany but put al these together and â—â—yne to them all sorts of people else and they all in genâ—â—â— are drinkers and consequently the Brewers Câ—â—â—â—â—â—â— Customers the sueâ—â— deadly sins are euery mans Trade and liuing Pride is the maintainer of thousands which would else perish as Mercers Taylors Embroydrers Silk-meÌ„ Cutters Drawers Semâ—sters Laundresies of which functions there are millions which would starue but for Mâ—dam Pride with her changeable fashions Lâ—chery what a coÌ„tinual crop of profit it yeelâ—â— appeares by the gallant thriuing and gawdy outsides of many he and she priuate and paâ—â—â—like sinnerâ— both in Citiâ— and Suburbs Coâ—erousnesse is Embroydered with Extortioâ— and warmly lined and furred with oppression And though it be a diuell yet is it most Idolatrously adored honoured worshipped by those simple Sheepeheaded fooles whom It hath vndone and beggered I could speake of other vices how profitable they are to a Common-wealth but my inuention is thirsty and must haue one carouse more at the Brewhouse who as I take it hath a greater share then any in the gaines which spring from the worlds abuses for Pride is maintained by the humble yet one kinde of Pride doth liue and profit by another Letchery is supported by the cursed swarme of Bawdes Panders Pimps Apple-squires Whores and Knaues and so euery sinne liues and thriues by the members Agents Ministers and Clyents which doe belong vnto them but Drunkennesse playes at all all trades all qualities all functions and callings can bee drunke or tempore note at any great Feast or but at eurey ordinary dinner or supper almost when men are well satisfied with sufficiency that then the mystery of quaffing begins with healths to many an vnworthy person who perhaps would not giue the price of the Reckoning to saue all them from hanging which make themselues sicke with drinking such vnthankfull healths I my selfe haue ofâ—entimes dined or supped at a great mans Boord and when I haue risen the seruants of the house haue enforc'd me into the Seller or Battery where in the way of kindnesse they will make a mans belly like a Sowse-rub and inforce mee to drinke as if they had a commission vnder the diuels great seale to murder men with drinking with such a deale of complementall oratory As off with your Lap Wind vp your bottome Vp with your taplash â—nd many more eloquent phrases which Tulâ—â— or Demosthenâ—s neuer heard of that in conclusion I am perswaded three dayes fasting would haue bin more healthfull to mee then two houres feeding and swilling in that manâ—er If any man hang drowne stabbe or by aâ—y violent meanes make away his life the goods lands of any such person are forfeit to the vse of the King and I see no reason but those which kill themselues with drinking should be in the same estate and be buried in the high wayes with a stake droue thorow them And if I had but a grant of this suite I would not doubt but that in seuen yeeres if my charity would but agree with my wealth I might erect Almes-houses Free-schooles mend highwayes and make Bridges for I dare sweare that a number almost numberlesse haue confessed vpon their death-beds that at such and such a time in such and such a place they dranke so much which made them surfeite of which surfeite they languished and dyed * Let these Liues be considered if I lye or not The maine benefit of these superfluous and man-slaughtering expences comes to the Brewer so that if a Brewer be in any office I hold him to be a very ingratefull man if he punish a Drunkard for euery stiffe pot-valiant drunkard is a Post beame or Piller which holds vp the Brew-house for as the barke is to the tree so is a good drinker to a Brewer But you men of Salisbury wisely perceiuing how much Euil to your City hath come by the abuse of Good drinke you would now worke by contraries to draw Good for your poore out of these forepassed and present Euils To draw euill out of good is diuelish but to work or extract goodnesse out of what is euill is godly and worthy to be pursued The abuse of good drinke and excessiue drinking hath made many beggers amongst you to the inriching of a few Brewers and now you would turne the world off from the Barrels as I would off from the Coach-wheeles that the benefit of your new built Towne Brew-house might relieue many of those poore amongst you who haue formerly bin impouerished by the inriching of your Towne-Brewers It is no doubt but they will oppose this good worke of yours as the image-makers in Ephesus did Paul when hee preached against their idolatrous worshipping Diana but be not you discouraged for Nehemiah in time did build the Temple although Sanballat * Tobiah Arabians Ammonites many others did oppose him for as your intents are Pious so no doubt but God will make your euents prosperous Now to turne from Beere and Ale to faire water your Riuer I mean which if it be clensed then with the profit of your TowneBrewhouse and the commodity of the Riuer I thinke there will be scarce a begger or a loiterer to be found amongst you I haue written enough before concerning the benefit of it and to encourage such as seeme flow towards so good a worke which had it beene in the Low-Countries the Industrious Dutch would not so long haue neglected so beneficiall a blessing witnesse their abundance of Nauigable Riuers and ditches which with the only labour of men they haue cut and in most places where neuer God or Nature made any Riuer and lately there is a Riuer made nauigable to St. Teades in Huntington-shire wherein stood seuen Mills as impediments in the way And now the City of Canterbury are clearing their Riuer that Boats may passe to and fro betwixt them and Sandwitch Hauen the like is also in hand at Leedes in Yorkeshire Now if neither former or present examples can moue you if your owne wants cannot inforce you if assured profit cannot perswade you but that you will still be neglectiue and stupid then am I sorry that I haue written so much to so little purpose but my hopes are otherwayes if all blinde lame and couetous excuses be laid aside then those who are willing will be
drown or sterue him The fatall Sisters serue his turne so pat That sure he hath more liues then hath a Cat. Alcides neuer past so many dangers As he hath done amongst his friends and strangers He runs through all his actions with such ease As Hogs eate Acorns or as Pidgeons Pease There 's nothing in the world can him disgrace Not being beaten in a lowzy case Nor Trunks nor Puncks nor stocks nor mocks nor moes Nor being made an Asse in Rime and Prose Nor hanging drowning carting nor the blanket These honours all are his the gods be thanked BVt now me-thinkes some curious itching care Doth long some sportiue newes of him to heare For being in the Ocean buried vnder And now aliue againe 't is more then wonder But how these wondrous wooders came to passe I as I can will tell you how it was VVHen first this mirrour 'mongst a world of Nations This great ingroser of strange obseruations Was bound for Constantines braue noble City Then he who is Wit all or else all witty Whose vigilancy lets no aduantage slip Embarked was in a tall proued Ship Of London the Samaritan she hight Now note the fore cast of this famous wight The Ship he onely for her name did chuse In detestation of the faithlesse Iewes For why the Iewes and the Samaritans Did hate as Christians Anti-Christians Yet I suppose his spight to them did spring For I thinke what and now I 'l name the thing In his first fiue months strange perambulation He was in danger of that peruerse Nation For they by wrongfull force would haue surpriz'd him T'excoriat Coriat and â—haue Circumciz'd him This dreadfull terrour of his Lady-ware I geâ—se the cause the Iewes he hatred bare How â—â—er was his intricate intent In the Samaritan to Sea he went And care-abusing false intelligence Said he was drown'd in Neptunes residence Thus false report did make me much mistake For which a faire recanting mends I 'l make My grieued Muse hath euer since his drowning Beene vext with sorrow and continuall swowning But now she 's all attir'd with mirth and gladnesse The Lye was good that made her sick with sadnesse KNow therefore Readers whatsoe'r you are That this great Britaine braue Odcombyan star Was tost on Neptunes rough reâ—n or celesse waâ—es Where each man look'd for timelesse brinish granes For Eolus vnlock'd his vaulted Center And 'gainst the Sea-god did in Armes aduenter With winds vniayled came at vnawares And greene-fac'd Neptune with defiance dares With all his warry Regiments to fight Or yeeld this matchles worthles wondrous knight The great humidious Monarch tells him plaine 'T were best he iogd from his commanding Maine And with his troupes of homelesse rouing slaneâ— Goe hide him in the earths imprison'd Canes And not disturbe him in his Regall Thrâ—â—e For be would keepe Tom Coriat or else none Then Eol 'gan his windy wrath to vent And swore by Styn that Neptune should repent This hauty high audacious insolence Against his powerfull great magnificence Then Triton founded the alarme was giuen That from hells bottome to the skirts of heauen The repercussiue ecchoes of his founding With dreadfull relapse backe againe redounding Then then Robustious swolne cheek'd Boreas blasts Teare riue and shiuer Tacklins Sailes and Masts In totter'd fragments all in pieces shatter'd Which here and there confusedly lay scatter'd These hurly burly stormes and tempests tumbling With dire amazing Thunder-thumping rumbling The mounting billowes like great mountaines â—â—â— As if they meant to drowne the losty skies Then downe they fall to the Tartarian deepe As if th' infernall Fiends they meant to steepe That sure I gesse a greater gust was neuer Since Iunâ— did AEnea's ruine endeauour The Kingly Sea-god to anoyd more harmes Caught Coriat the cause of these Alarmes And so his boystrons windy foe depriu'd And home thorow worlds of flouds a main he dim'd But awefull loue to his Imperiall spheare These grieuous garboyles chanced for to heare And to his brother Neptune downe he sends The wing-heel'd Mercury with these commends To thee thou watry great commanding Keasar I come from heauens Maiesticke mighty Casar Commanding thee by thy fraternall loue That from thy Coasts thou presently remoue The man thou lately look'st the worlds sole woder Or else he 'l rouze thee with distracting Thunder And therefore as Iones friendship thou dost tender To safe arriuall see thou dost him render Whilst May'es sonne his message thus did tell A fury like a Post-knight came from hell And from th' infâ—â—nall King of blacke Anernuâ— These words he vtter'd which doe much concern vs From Acherouticke Phlegetonticke waues Thy brother Plato thus much friendship craues Thou wilt send Coriat downe with him to â—igne And he 'l send thee as good a thing againe For Proserpina his illustrious Pheare Of him and his aduentures chanc'd to heare Because a Gentleman-vsher the doth want To haue him Pluto begs thy friendly grant The Marine Monarch answers thus it is You Nâ—â—tiâ— from our brothren Ione and Dâ—â— Know such a mortall is within my power Imprison'd close in Thetis siluer Bower I did surprize him midst a thousand toyles Of warres of iarres of bloody banefull broyles My high-borne brother Ioue hath hither sent Commanding me that I incontinent Doe safely set this new-found man aland â— And I from Pluto further vnderstand That he would haue him to Cocitus Coast Where he and Cores daughter rules the roast First therefore I in wisedome hold it best To yeeld vnto the mighty loues request And on the Grecian coast I 'l safely place him Where he may waÌ„der where his fortunes trace him Thesâ— messengers thus answer'd were dismist And Neptune did to land his guest persist â—â— now all hell was in an expectation For Coriats comming making preparation The Stigian Ferri-man on Stixes shore Did wait with diligence to wast him o'r And hels three headed Porter sweetly sung For ioy that all the Coastes of Limbo rung With howling Musickes dambe despightfull notes From out his triple Chaps and treble throats â—â— from the tortring wheele was eas'd And pining Tantall was with iunkets pleas'd And further 't was commanded and decreed The Gripe no more on Titius guts should feed The nine and forty wenches water silling In tubs vnbottom'd which was euer spilling They all had leaue to leaue their endlesse toyles To dance sing sport and to keepe reuell coyles Three forked Hecate to mirth was prone And Siâ—â—phus gaue o'r the restlesse stone All in conclusion had free leaue to play And for Tom Coriats sake make holiday Thus all blacke Barathrum is fill'd with games With lasting bone-fires casting sulphur-flames In Vse'rers skuls the molten gold they quaffe And skink and drink and wink and stink and lasse But when the Post was come and told his Tale Then all this sport was turn'd to banefull bale Grim Pluto storm'd and Proserpina mournd And tortur'd Ghosts to torments were returnd The Sea god carefull of great Iones high
I am loth to belye any man But if you bee addicted to any of these aforesaid vertues I pray let mee finde it in your fauourable Censure and so I leaue you to laugh â—d lie downe Bee fat LAVGH AND BE FAT Now Monsieur Coriat let them laugh that wins For I assure ye now the game begins â— is wondrous strange how your opinions vary â—â—m iudgement senceâ— or reason so contrary â—at with infamous rash timerity â—m raile at me with such seuerity â—be broad-fac'd lefts that other men put on you â—â—take for fauours well bestow'd vpon you â—sport they giue you many a pleasant cuffe â—â— no mans lines but mine you take in snuffe â—hich makes the ancient Prouerbe be in force â—at some may with more safety steale a horse Then others may looke on for still it falls The weakest alwayes must goe to the walls I need no vse this Etymology My plainer meaning to exemplifie Which doth induce me to expresse the cause That my vntutor'd Pen to writing drawes Be it to all men by these presents knowne That lately to the world was pâ—ainely showne In a huge volume Gogmagoticall In Verse and Prose with speech dogmaticall Thy wondrous Trauels from thy natiue home How Odly out thou went'st and Odly â—ome And how as fitted best thy Workes of worth The rarest Wits thy Booke did vsher forth But I alas to make thy fame more fuller Did lately write a Pamphlet Call'd the Sculler In which as vnto others of my friends I sent to theâ— braue Monsieur kind commends Which thou in double dudgeon tak'st from me And vow'st and swor'st thou wilt reuenged be The cause I heare your fury flameth from I said I was no dunce-combe cox-combe Tom What 's that to you good Sir that you should fume Or rage or chase or thinke I durst presume To speake or write that you are such a one I onely said that I my selfe was none Yet Sir I 'l be a Cocks-combe if so please you If you are ouer-laden Sir I 'l ease you Your store of witlesse wisdome in your budget To giue your friend a little neuer grudge it Nor that from Odcombs towne I first began Nor that I greeke or Latine gabble can I am no Odcombe Tom why what of that Nor nothing but baro English can I chat I pray what wrong is this to you good Sur Your indignation why should this incurre Nor that I thought our Land had spent her store That I need visit Venice for a whore Which if I would I could make neerer proofes And not like you so farre to gall my hoofes I said if such a volume I should make The rarest wits would scorne such paines to take At my returne amidst my skarre-crow totters To runne before me like so many trotters I know my merits neuer will be such That they should deigne to honour me so much I further said I enuied not your state For you had nothing worthy of my hate In loue your innocence I truly pitty Your plentious want of wit seemes wondrous wittie Your vertue cannot breed my hatefull lothing For what an asse were I to hate iust nothing Your vice I bare not neither I protest But loue and laugh and like it like the rest Your vice nor vertue manners nor your forme Can breed in me fell enuies hatefull worme I said it was a lodging most vnfit Within an idle braine to house your wit Here I confesse my fault I cannot hide You were not idle nor well occupide Be 't faire or foule be 't early or be 't late Your simple witlies in your humble pate A King sometimes may in a cottage lye And Lyons rest in swines contagious stye So your rare wit that 's euer at the full Lyes in the cane of your rotundious skull Vntill your wisedomes pleasure send it forth From East to West from South vnto the North With squib-crack lightning empty hogshead thundring To maze the world with terror with wondring I boldly bade you foole it at the Court There 's no place else so fit for your resort But though I bid you foole it you may chuse Though I command yet Sir you may refuse For why I thinke it more then foolish pitty So great a iemme as you should grace the citty Whilst I would foole it on the liquid Thames Still praying for the Maiesty of Iames. Good Sir if this you take in such disgrace To giue you satisfaction take my place And foole it on the Thames whilst I at Court Will try if I like you can make some sport Or rather then for fooleship we will brawle You shall be foole in Court on Thames and all Thus what to you I writ loe here 's the totall And you with angry spleen haue deign'd to note â—â—â— And vow from hell to hale sterne Nemesis To whip me from the bounds of Thamesis Yet when I ope your paper murd'ring booke I see what paines the wisest wits haue tooke To giue you titles supernodicall In orders orderlesse methodicall There doe I see how euery one doth striue In spight of Death to make thee still suruiue No garded gowne-man dead nor yet aliue But they make thee their great superlatiue In the beginning Alphabeticall With figures tropes and words patheticall They all successiuely from A to N Describe thee for the onely man of Men. The frontispice of Master Coriats Booke very â—â—â— nedly descanted vpon by Master Laurence Whitakers and Master Beniamin Ionson Thy Shipping and thy Haddocks friendly feeding Thy Carting in thy Trauels great proceeding Thy riding Stirroplesse thy iadish courser Thy Ambling o'r the Alpes and which is worser After the Purgatory of thy Legges Thy Puncke bepelts thy pate with rotten egges When thou braue man assault'st to boord a Pinace As fits thy state she welcomes thee to Venice Thy running from the mis-beleeuing Iew Because thou thought'st the Iew sought more then â—â—â— For why the Iew with superstition blind Would haue thee leaue what most thou lou'st behind How with a rusticke Boore thou mad'st a fray And manfully broughtst all the blowes away The Turkish Emp'rour or the Persian Sophy Can hardly match thy monumentall Trophy Thy ancient Ierkin and thy aged sloppes From whose warme confines thy retainers drops I stand in feare to doe thy greatnesse wrong For 't is suppos'd thou wast a thousand strong Who all deriu'd from thee their happy breeding And from thy bounty had their clothes feeding Thy lasting shooes thy stockings and thy garters To thy great fame are drawn and hangd in quarters Thy Hat most fitly beautifies thy crest Thy wits great couer couers all the rest The letter K doth shew the brauest fight But wherefore K I 'm sure thou art no Knight Why might not L nor M nor N or O As well as knauish K thy picture show But saucie K I see will haue a place When all the Crosse-row shall endure disgrace Who at the letter K doth truly seeke Shall see thee hemm'd with Latine with
but all wit And thy blown tongue wil make great ships to saile From coast to coast if winde and weather faile Againe Againe his Muse from sodaine sleep is waked And saies this booke of thine is nat'rall naked Thou urely art a seruiceable waiter For when thou mad'st this booke thou didst not loyter Yet much he doubts if God or fiend will haue thee For if thou be'st sau'd sure thy booke will saue thee If I to scape the gallowes needs must read I surely for another booke will plead The reason that incites me thereunto Thy booke to saue thee hath enough to doe This man hath a Greeke name This Gentleman thy praise doth briefely note Compares thy wit and senses to a Goare And well thy breeding he hath here exprest A Phoenix hatch'd from out the Wag-tailes nest But let them say and call thee what they will Thou wast and art and wilt be Coriat still Thomas Farnabie alias Baiurâ—fc Here 's one that like a carefull true Collector Tells like a Bee thou fill'st thy combe with Nectar Die when thou wilt in honour of thy Name Ram-headed Bel-weathers shall ring thy fame Guilielmus Austin I thinke this Author doth equiuocate In writing of the word â—â—â— The word so prittily he seemes to curtall That I imagine it is done for sportall But he perswades thee trauell once agen And make the world to surfet with thy pen. Glareanus Vadeanus Thou fatall impe to Glastenburie Abby The Prophecie includes thou art no baby That ouer Odcombs towne must one day ferrie As Whiting earst did ouer Glastenberie But yet 't is pitty one of thy rare skill Should like the Monke be drowned vpon a hill If thou canst climbe to heauen in hempen string Thy same for euer then my Muse shall sing But yet 't is safer in a Trunke to hide Then such a dang'rous wincing iade to ride Iohannes Iackeson Thou that hast trauel'd much from coast to coast Come eat this Egge that is nor rawe nor rost For like a friend this man hath plaid the cooke And potch'd this Ginnie Egge into thy booke Michael Draiton Now here 's another followes with a messe In haste before thy Booke comes to the Presse The shortnesse of the time is all his fault But now he 's come and brings thee spoons salt He saies that thou hast taught the right behauior How with great men we all may liue in fauor He bids thee liue and with their loues to ioyne Whose worth and vertues are most like to thine Nicholas Smith This Author liuely hath thy fame exprest But yet his lines are different from the rest For all but he that doe thy praises pen Say thou art farre vnlike to other men But this man to thy honour doth relate How many Courtiers thee doe imitate And how for feare thou should'st be stolne away They make themselues as like thee as they may For if they lose thee by false theft or slaughter The Court I feare will weep for want of laughter Thy greatnes here the pore-blind world may see He saies not I thy peeres haue iudged thee Stand to their censures then make no deniall For surely thou hast had a noble triall Laurentius Emley Here 's one commends thy booke and bodies paine And counsels thee to trauell once againe Whereas the treasure of thy wit and body Shall tire each lumpish asse and dronish noddie A horse that beares thy corpes more ease shall find Then men can haue in bearing of thy minde For in thy minde is many a paire of gallowes Waigh's more then thee or twentie of thy fellowes Was nothing in thy iourney small or mickle But in thy minde thou barrell'dst it in pickle So that if men to see thy minde were able There 's more confusion then was ere at Babel For there 's confusion both of tongues and towers Of loftie steeples and of lowly bowers Of libbets racks and round nor menting wheeles Of Haddockes Paddockes and of slipp'rie Eeles Of wit of sense of reason death and life Of loue of hate of concord and of strife The seuen deadly sinnes and liberall Arts Doe in thy minde discord and haue tane parts It is a doubt which side the conquest winnes Either the liberall Arts or deadly sinnes Not fourtie Elephants can beare the loade Of pondrous things that haue in thee abode Thy minde waighs more then I can write or speak Which heauie burden Atlas backe would breake Iohannes Dauis This Gentleman thy trauels doth relate Applauding much the hardnesse of thy pate I thinke thy head 's as hard as steele or rockes How could thy cox-comb else endure such knocks The brauest Smithes of Britaine haue tane paines To beat vpon the anuill of thy braines But let them beat thou canst abide the blowes Thou countst theÌ„ fauors which thy friends bestows One with a cocks-combe hits thee o'r the comb Another with an Asses eares strikes home Another with a fooles coat and a cap As hard as he can driue giues thee a clap But let them strike with what they please to strike Thy hardened head will not their strokes dislike The blows the Boore did giue thee in the vineyard Thou put'st them vp neuer drew'st thy whiniard Thou took'st a beating from a boorish foe-man I hope that thou wilt scorne a knocke from no man Richardus Badley Here 's one whose lines coÌ„mend thee with the most And saies how that a foole at Pentecost At Whitsontide he meanes did ouerthrow thee And at thy owne blunt weapon ouer-crow thee If it be true me thinkes 't is wondrous strange That thou so many countries o'r should'st range And hast the tongues of Latine and of Greeke Yet 'gainst a foole should'st haue thy wits to seeke I at the Sessions house the like haue seene When malefactors at the bar haue beene Being well-read Schollers for their booke would plead Yet for their liues haue had no power to read So thou great Polypragmon wast more graueld With this wise foole theÌ„ else-wher as thou traueld Henricus Peacham Of all rare sights in city court or towne This Author saies thou brauely put'st them downe The horrid darke eclipse of Sunne or Moone The Lyon Elephant or the Baboone The huge Whale-bone that 's hang'd vp at White-hall The sight of thee puts downe the diuell and all Tricks ligges and motions are but idle toyes The sight of thee their glories all destroyes The sweetnesse of thy Phisnomy is such That many to behold it would giue much But they are blind and would giue more to see And therefore would giue much to looke on thee The Viopian Tongue Thoytem Asse Coria Tushrump cod she adirustie Mungrellimo whish whap ragge dicete tottrie Mangelusquem verminets nipsem barely battimsore Culliandolt trauellerebumque graiphone trutchmore Pusse per mew Odcomb gul abelgsk foppery shig shag Cock a peps Comb settishamp Idioshte momulus tag rag Iacobus Field This Author 'mongst the rest in kindnesse comes To grace thy trauels with a world of
reasonable time first to learne the languages of those Countries through which I am to passe betwixt the bounds of the Territories of this Prince and Christendome namely these three the Persian Turkish and Arab which I haue in some competent measure attained vnto by my labour and industry at the said Kings Court matters as auaileable vnto me as mony in my purse as being the chiefest or rather onely meane to get me mony if I should happen to be destitute a matter very incidentall to a poore Footman Pilgrim as my selfe in these heathen and Mahometan Countries through which I trauell Secondly that by the helpe of one of those languages I meane the Persian I might both procure vnto my selfe accesse vnto the King and bee able to expresse my mind vnto him about the matter for the which I should haue occasion to discourse with him These were the reasons that moued me so long to tarry at the Mogols Court during which time I abode in the house of the English Merchants my deare Countrimen not spending one little peece of mony either for diet washing lodging or any other thing And as for the Persian tongue which I studied very earnestly I attained to that reasonable skill and that in a fewe moneths that I made an Oration vnto the King before many of his Nobles in that language and after I had ended the same discoursed with his Maiesty also in that tongue very readily and familiarly the Copy of which speech though the tongue it selfe will seeme to an Englishman very strange and vncouth as hauing no kind of affinity with any of our Christian languages I haue for nouelty sake written out in this letter together with the translation thereof in English that you may shew it to some of my learned friends of the Clergy and also of the Temporalty in Euil and elswhere who belike will take some pleasure in reading so rare and vnusuall a tongue as this is The Persian is this that followeth The Copie of an Oration that I made in the Persian tongue to the Great Mogoll before diuers of his Nobles HAzaret Aallum pennah salamet fooker Daruces ve tehaungeshta hast am kernia emadam az wellagets door ganne az mulk Inglizan ke kessanaion petheeÌ„ mushacas cardand ke wellagets mazcoor der akers magrub bood ke mader hamma iezzaerts dunmast Sabebbe amadane mari mia boosti char cheez ast au val be dedane mobarreckdeedars Hazaret ke seete caramat ba hamma Trankestan reeseedast ooba tamam mulk Musulmanan der sheenedan awsaffe Hazaret daueeda amadam be deedane ast awne akdas mushar af geshtans duum bray deedane feelbay Hazaret kin chunm ianooar der heech mulk ne dedam seu in bray deedane nauswer dary ace shuâ—ma Ganga ke Serdare hamma daryaba dumiest Chaharum cen ast keyec ferm awne alishaion amayet fermoy and ke betwanam der wellayetts Vzbeck raftan ba shahre Samarcand bray Zeerat cardan cabbre mobarrec Saheb crawncab awsaffe tang oe mosachere oo der tamans aallum meshoor ast belkder wellagette Vzbec cencader meshoor neest chunan cheder mulc Iuglisan ast digr bishare eshteeac darambe deedane mobarrec mesare Saheb crawnca bray â—â—n saheb che awne samanche focheer de shabr stâ—lâ—l boodam ycaiaeb cohua amarat deedam dermâ—n yecush bawg nasdec sbaht mascoor coia che paâ—â—aâ— Eezawiawn che namesh Manuel bood che Saâ—â—â—â— crawnea cush mehmannec aseem cards bood beâ—dâ—â—â—â—â— gristane Sulten Baiasetra as iange aseem che sâ—â—â— bood nas dec shahre Bursa coimache Saheb craâ—â— Sultan Baiasetra de Zenicera tell aio bestand codâ— cafes nahadond cen char chees meera as mulche mâ—ium baneed tamia as mulc Room oo Arrac peeâ—â— geshta as door der cen mulc reseedam che châ—r bâ—sar pharsang raw dared beshare derd co moâ—â—â— casheedam che heech ches der een dunnia cencâ—â—â—n mohuet ne casheedast bray deedune mobarrec dedâ—â—s Hasereret own roos che be tacte shaugh ne shaughâ—â— musharaf fermoodand The English of it is this LOrd * This is the ordinary title that is giuen him by all strangers Protector of the world all haile to you I am a poore Traueller and worldseer which am come hither from a farre country namely England which ancient Historians thought to haue beene situated in the fartheâ— bounds of the West and which is the Queene of all the Ilands in the world The cause of my comming hither is for foure respects First to see the blessed face of your Maiesty whose wonderfull fame hath resounded ouer all Europe the Mahometan Countries When I heard of the fame of your Maiesty I hastened hither with speed and trauelled very cheerefully to see your glorious Court Secondly to see your Maiesties Elephants which kind of beasts I haue not seene in any other countrey Thirdly to see your famous Riuer Ganges which is the Captaine of all the Riuers of the world The fourth is this to intreat your Maiesty that you would vouchsafe to grant me your gracious Passe that I may travell into the Country of Tartaria to the City of Samarcand to visit the blessed Sepulcher of the Lord of the Corners this is a title that is giuen to Tamberlaine in this Country in that Persian language and whereas they call him the Lord of the Corners by that they mean that he was Lord of the corners of the world that is the highest and supreme Monarch of the Vniuerse whose fame by reason of his wars and victories is published ouer the whole world perhaps he is not altogether so famous â—n his own Country of Tartaria as in England Moreouer I haue a great desire to see the blessed Toombe of the Lord of the Corners for this cause for that when I was at Constantinople I saw a notable old building in a pleasant garden neere the said City where the Christian Emperor that was called Emanuel made a â—umptuous great Banquet to the Lord of the Corners after he had taken Sultan Baiazet in letters of Gold and put him in a cage of Iron These foure causes moued me to come out of by natiue Counrrey thus farre hauing trauelled a foot through Turkie and Persia so far haue I traced the world into this Countrey that my pilgrimage hath accomplished three thousand miles wherin I haue sustained much â—bour and toyle the like whereof no mortall â—â—an in this World did euer performe to see â—â—e blessed face of your Maiesty since the first day that you were inaugurated in your glorious Monarchall throne After I had ended my speech I had some â—â—ort discourse with him in the PersiaÌ„ tongue â—ho amongst other things told me that concerning my trauell to the City of Samarcand â—â— was not able to doe me any good because â—here was no great amity betwixt the Tartaâ—â—an Princes and himselfe so that his commendatory letters would doe mee no good â— Also he added that the Tartars did so deadly hate all Christians that they would certainely kill them when they came
IT was at that time that the worlds terrour and warres Thunder-bolt Allaricke King of the Gothes wasted Italy sacked Rome and stooke all the Kingdomes of the earth into a Feuertertian when there was inhabiting in the Dukedome of Tuscanye a valiant Captaine named Catso descended from the Royall house of Frigus the first King of the Fridgians This Catso being driuen to his shifts in these robustuous bickerings of the Gothes fled for safety to the I le of Sardinia where for his good parts and free behauiour hee was entertained by the most beautifull Madam Meretricia the delightfull daughter and sole heire of Baloclitus King of Sardis yet although his place was chiefe Gentleman of the Bid-Chamber his high pitcht resolution was eleuated and erected for trauell and hotter seruices So with much griefe to the Lady hee tooke his leaue and sayling through the straits of Gibralter and the gulphe of Madye Lane hee past the Cape Bona Esperance as farre as China where hee staid certaine daies at Iappan then hee determined to progresse it by land and passing by the great Citty of Tarsus in Idumea by long iourneys hee came to Gallicia where nere to Greyne hee was in hot seruice and came off somewhat scortch'd with fire workes in a mine passing from thence hee came into France where hee was well wel-com'd at Brest and at the Towne of Deipe was made great prouision for his comming but for some reasons hee would neuer come there In briefe after hee had approu'd himselfe a hot valiant and aduenturous Souldier abroad and a peace-maker aâ—â—â— home hee came into Ireland where at Dubblâ— hee was strucke lame but recouering neâ— strength and courage hee snip'd himselfe foâ— England landed at West-Chester whence taking pofte towards London hee lodg'd at â—â—â— ley in the hole in his way at last being come to the Citty hee made many merry and mad vageries betwixt Turnebull-street and Burnt-wood spending freely and faring deliciously hauing a stiffe stomacke to digest all dishes except Winchester Geese and Newmarket Turkies â—â—â— thus with much danger and difficulty hauing trauelled farther then euer man saw and passed his time with much loue amongst Ladyes and Gentlewomen hauing beene a great with stander of many desperate oppositions and â—â—â— rare Musitian for his long practice in Prickesong He againe past the Sea in a Frigget to Constantinople where hee fell into a moody melancholy like Tymon of Athens and scorned to stand at any time although he was charged in the name of the Graund Signior This Gallant hauing beene all his time a great vser wearer and taker vp of Napery did most bountifully bequeath to any Poet that would write a Poeme in the praise of Cleane Linnen as many shirts of the purest Holland as might bee wash'd in Hellicon and dryed on the two topt hill of Parnassus To performe whose commaund and receiue the bequeathed Legacie I vndertooke this great taske and perform'd it accordingly FINIS THE TRVE CAVSE OF THE WATERMENS Suit concerning Players and the reasons that their Playing on London side is their extreame hindrances With a Relation how farre that suit was proceeded in and the occasions that it was not effected THe occasions that hath moued me to write this Pamphlet are many and forcible and the Attempt in wriring it aduenturous and full of danger for as on the one side I doubt not but with truth to stop the mouthes of Ignorance and Mallice that haue and doe daily scandalize mee and withall I know I shall purchase a generall thankes from all honest men of my Company so I am assured to gaine the hatred of some that loue mee well and I affect them no worse only for my plaine truth and discharging my conscience But fall back fall edge come what can come I am resolued and without feare or flattery thus I beginne In the month of Ianuary last 1613. there was a motion made by some of the better sort of the company of Watermen that it were necessary for the reliefe of such a decayed multitude to petition to his Maiesty that the Players might not haue a play-house in London or in Middlesex within foure miles of the City on that side of the Thames Now this request may seeme harsh and not well to bee disgested by the Players and their Apendixes But the reasons that mou'd vs vnto it being claritably considered makes the suite not only seeme reasonable but past seeming most necessary to be sued for and tollerable to bee granted Out petition being written to purpose aforesaid I was selected by my company to deliuer it to his Maiesty and follow the businesse which I did with that care and integrity that I am assured none can iustly taxe me with the contrary I did ride twice to Theobalds once to Newmarket and twice to Roystone before I could get a reference vpon my petition I had to beare my charge of my company first and last seuen pound two shillings which horshire horse meat and mans meat brought to a consumption besides I wrote seuerall petitions to most of the Right Honourable Lords of his Maiesties Priuy Counsell and I found them all compassionately affected to the necessity of our cause First I did briefly declare part of the seruices that Watermen had done in Queene Elizabeths raigne of famous memory in the voyage to Portingale with the Right Honorable and neuer to be forgotten Earle of Essex then after that how it pleased God in that great deliuerance in the yeere 1588. to make Watermen good seruiceable instruments with their losse of liues and limbs to defend their Prince and Country Moreouer many of them serued with Sir Francis Drake Sir Iohn Hawkins Sir Martin Frobusher and others besides in Cales action the Iland voyage in Ireland in the Lowcuntryes and in the narrow Seas they haue beene as in duty they are bound at continuall command so that euery Summer 1500. or 2000. of them were imployed to the places asoresaid hauing but nine shillings foure pence the month a peece for their pay and yet were they abâ—e then to set themselues out like men with shift of Apparell linnen and wollen and forbeare charging of their Prince for their pay sometimes sixe months nine months twelue months sometimes more for then there were so few Watermen and the one halfe of them being at Sea those that staid at home had as much worke as they would doe Afterwards the Players began to play on the Bank-side and to leaue playing in London and Middlesex for the most part then there went such great concourse of people by water that the smal number of watermen remaining at home were not able to carry them by reason of the Court the Tearmes the Players and other imployments so that we were inforced and encouraged hoping that this golden stirring world would haue lasted euer to take and entertaine men and boyes which boyes are growne men and keepers of houses many of them being ouer-charged with families of Wife and
of Maiâ—â—â— and Nobility as we doe I write not to disparrage any nor with boasting to puffe vp our selues none comes neerer except the Barber and long and often may he come or the Physicion and Chirurgion which God grant they may bee euer needlesse but a Water-man many times hath his Soueraigne by the hand to stay him in and out the Barge where there is not aboue halfe an inch betwixt life death the Barge being then the royal Court being but a dore betwixt the King them they are at that time Gentlemen of the priuy Chamber or Yeomen of the Gard at least And thus much I am bold to insert for my selfe and many more of my company that I know that we neuer exacted mony wrongfully or contended with any of the Kings Leidge people for more then they themselues would giue with any reason or gaue any one abusiue or vnreuerend speeches if they would not go with vs for we know that men are free to buy their cloath at what Drapers they please or their stuffes at which Mercers they will what Taylor they list make their garments and what Cooke they lâ—ke may dresse their meat and so forth of all fâ—â—â—â—ions euery man is free to make his choyâ—e and so amongst Watermen men may take whom they please because they are sâ—ound to none he that goes with me shall haue my labor and I am in hope to haue his moneyâ— he that will not goâ— with me goes with another and I haue the more ease the while he doth me no wrong in not going with me I will do â—â—â—â— iniury for going from â—â—â— this is my resolution and a number more of my Company and those that are otherwise minded â—â—â— all my heart that God will be pleased to â—â—â— them or else that the Hangman may haue authority to end them But to returne to the purpose from which I haue too long digrest The Players are men that I generally loue and wish well vnto and to their quality and I doe not know any of them but are my friends and wish as much to me and howsoeuer the matter falls out whether they play or not play I thanke God I am able to liue as well as another either with them or without them But my loue is such vnto them that whereas they do play but once a day I could bee content they should play twice or thrice a day so it were not in such places as doth vndoe so many thousands of poore people for as it is it were much better for vs that they plaid no where And seeing so triuiall a cause as this would be scarâ—e incommodious to any and more commodious to vs then the foure Tearmes in the yeere seeing our necessities so great and our reliefe harmelesse to any seeing the vse of vs expedient if occasions serue abroad or at home and our vnablenesse to set our selues to sea by reason of ouâ— want our hope is that wee shall bee as much â—eckoned of as horses for horses haue meat drink and lodging though they be but seldome ridden and many of them haue a warme footcloth when thousand of seruiceable men are like to famish and starâ—â— through want and nakednesse As concerning our endeauours to â—â—moue the shelues and sands in the Thames whicâ— are a great â—â—noyance to the Riuer and huâ—â—â— full to the City As his Maiesty hath comâ—manded and the Right Honourable the Loâ—â— Maior the rest of his worshipfull brethreâ— shall direct we shall with all willingnesse doâ— our duties we doubt not both to the King Maiesties contentment the good of the City and the good report of our selues Thus becuase the truth shewes best being naked I haue plainely set downe how farre proceeded in my suite how it was broken ofâ— what thankes I haue for my paines The necessity of the cause that made mee goe abouâ—â—â—â— it The abuses I had because it tooke no effect which is the chiefe cause why I wrote thiâ— Pamphlet to iustifie my selfe At these thing I hope the Iudicious Vnderstander will iudge accordingly alwaies esteeming mee a Loyal ouer of my Countrey and my Company FINIS Wit and Mirth CHARGEABLY COLLECTED OVT OF TAVERNS ORDINARIES Innes Bowling Greenes and Allyes Alehouses Tobacco Shops Highwayes and Water passages Made vpâ— and â—â—â—â—â— Clinohes â—ulls Quirkes Yerkes â—…garbled at the requâ—â— of old â—â—â—n GAâ—â—â—â— Ghâ—â— DEDICATED To the truely Loyall harted learned well-accomplished Gentleman Mâ—â—ter â—â—â— SIR BEing enioyned by the Ghost or â—â—â— beloued to collect gleant or gather a bundle or trusse of Mirth and for his â—â—â— bestrow the stage of the melancholly world with it and withall to present it to somâ— â—â— generous spirit who was old Iohns friend I thought upon many to whom I might haue â—â—â— my Dedication who were both Royall Honourable Worshipfull and all well-affected toâ—â—rds him As to mention one for all that Iewell of the world and richest Iem of her sex that Magazine of the two inestimable Iewels Patience and Fortitude to that illustrious â—â—relesse Princesse I might haue recommended it to whose seruice and for whose happinesse his life and best endeauours with his prayers and implorations at his death were vnfainealy â—â—â—â—rated But my manners conceiuing the subiect of this Booke of altogether to triuiall a â—â—â— to be sheltred vnder the shadow of the wings of transcendent and admired Maiestie â—â—â— so many steps downe the staires with my inuention where by good fortune I met with â—â—â— whom I knew did loue that old honest mirrour of mirth deceased and whom the world â—â—â—ter knows are a true deunted friend to honest harmelesse mirth and laudable recreation â—â—â—herefore entreat you that when your more serious affaires will permit you would beâ—â—â—â—â— the looking vpon these my poore and beggarly wardrobe of witty Iests whom I dare not â—â—â— Apothegmes And because I had many of them by relation and heare-say I am in doubt that some of them â—â—â— be in print in some other Authors which I doe assure you is more then I doe know which â—â—â—â— be so I pray you but to conniue or tollerate and let the Authors make twice as bold with â—â— at any time Thus wishing euery one to mend one whereby the rent and torne garments of Thred-bare â—â—â— may be well and merrily patched and repaired crauing your pardon with my best wishes â—â—â—aine Yours euer in the best of my best studies hereof IOHN TAYLOR IOHN GARRETS GHOST â—He doores and windowes of the Heauens were barr'd And Nights blacke Curtaine like an Eâ—on Robe From Earth did all Celestiall light discard And in sad darknesse clad the ample Globe Dead midnight came the Cats ' gan catterwaule The time when Ghosts and Goblings walke about â—â—â— Owles shrick dismall Dogs doe bawle Whileâ— conscience cleare securely sleeps it out At such a time I sleeping in my bed A â—â—â—â— strange appear'd vnto my â—ight â—â—â—zement all my senses ouer spread And fill'd me full with terrour and
in the house and art so busie a baggage that thou canst let nothing stand to which the other answered and you are so wayward and teasty that a little thing troubles you and puts you in a great anger 122 IN a time of peace a Captaine being in company where after dinner there was dancing with whom a Gentlewoman was desirous to dance the Captaine said hee was made to fight and not to dance to whom she answerd that it were good that he were oyl'd hang'd vp in an Armoury till there were occasion to vse him 123 ONe asked a huffing Gallant why hee had not a Looking-Glasse in his Chamber he answered he durst not because hee was often angry and then he look'd so terribly that he was fearefull to looke vpon himselfe 124 THere was a fellow that not for his goodnesse was whip'd at a Carts tayle and in his execution he draw backward to whom a Gentleman in pitty said Fellow doe not draw backe but presse forward and thy execution and paynes will be the sooner past and done to whom the Rogue answerd It is my turne now when thou art whip'd doe thou goe as thou wilt and now I will goe as I please 125 ONe said that hee had trauaild so farre that he had layd his hand vpon the hole where the winde came forth a second said that hee had beene at the farthest edge of the world and driuen a nayle quite thorow it the third replide that he had beene further for hee was then on the other side of the world and clencht that nayle 126 THere was a Pope who being dead it is said that hee came to heauen gate and knock'd Saint Peter being within the gate asked who was there The Pope answered brother it is I I am the last Pope deceased Saint Peter said if thou be the Pope why dost thou knocke thou hauing the keyes mayst vnlocke the gate and enter The Pope replied saying that his predecessors had the keyes but since their time the wards were altered 127 A Rich Miser being reuiled by a poore man whom he had oppressed the rich man said Thou dogge leaue thy barking the poore man answered that hee had one quality of a good dogge which was to barke when hee saw a thiefe 128 A Man being deeply in play at dice hauing lost much money his sonne a little lad being by him wept quoth the father Boy why dost thou weepe the boy answered that hee had read that Alexander the Great wept when he heard that his father King Philip had conquered many Cities Townes and Territories fearing that hee would leaue him â—â—hing to winne and I weepe the contrary â—ay quoth the boy for I feare that my father will leaue me nothing to loose 129 AN Oppressor hauing feld all the trees in a Forest which for a long time had beene â—â—e reliefe of many poore people sayd that it was as good as a Commedy to him to see the trees fall to whom a poore man said I â—â—pe as thou makest a Commedy of our miseries that three of those trees may be reserued â—â—â—â—â—ish a Tragedy for thee and thy Children 130 ONe lamented his friends hard fortune that being raysed to a place of honour his growne sencelesse forgetting all his old â—â—milar acquaintance and so farre from knowing any man that he knew not himselfe 131 THe Plough surpasseth the Pike the Harrow excelleth the Halbert the Culter exâ—â—deth the Cuttleaxe the Goad is better â—â— the Gunne for the one sort are the instruments of life and profit and the other are the engines of death and all kindes of calaâ—â—ries 132 A Poore man is in two extremes first if he â—â—â— he dyes with shame secondly if he â—â—â— not he dies with hunger 133 ONe being in office was reproued for negligence his excuse was that it was his best policy to be idle for if he should doe â—â—â— he should displease God and if he should â—â—e well should offend men to whom one answered you ought to doe your duty for â—â— well doing you shall please God and in ill â—â—â—ing you shall please men 134 VVOmen take great pleasure to be sued to though they neuer meane to grant 135 ONe said that Suiters in Law were mortall and their suite immortall and that there is more profit in a quicke deniall then in a long dispatch 136 A Trauailer was talking what a goodly City Rome was to whom one of the company said that all Rome was not in Italy for wee had too much Rome in England 137 A Countrey fellow came into Westminster Hall where one told him that the roofe of it was made of Irish wood and that the nature of it was such that no Spider would come neere it and he said further that in Ireland no Toad Snake or Caterpiller can liue but that the earth or the trees will destroy them Ah quoth the Countrey man I wish with all my heart that the Benches Barres and Flooring were all made of such earth and wood and that all Coaches Barges and Wherries were made of Irish Oake that all our English Caterpillers might be destroyed 138 MAster Thomas Coriat on a time complained against mee to King Iames desiring his Maiesty that hee would cause some heauy punishment to bee inflicted vpon mee for abusing him in writing as he said I had to whom the King replide that when the Lords of his honourable Priuy Councell had leisure and nothing else to doe then they should heare and determine the differences betwixt Master Coriat the Scholler and Iohn Taylor the Sculler which answere of the King was very acceptable to Master Coriat WhereupoÌ„ I made this following petitioÌ„ to the King TO THE KINGS MOST Excellent Maiestie The humble petition of Iohn Tailor your â—… â—… I begge thou wilt be graciously inclined To reade these lines my rusticke pen compile Know Royall Sir Tom Coriate workes the wile Your high displeasure on my head to bring â—… Did heare the cause of two offending Harlots So I beseech thee Great great Britaines King To doe the like for two contending Varlots â—… A Ribble â—â—bble of Gossips THe space of a â—orting he from the Bearbaiting â—… stulted by the right reuerend Matron madam Isabel that Katherin should go no more a maying â—… spoones now old Sibill all this while sate mumping like a gib Cat and on the sodaine she starts vp and thrusts Charity out of doores to take vp her lodging where she could get it well being much offended to see Marget inâ—â—â—… it and bade her tell Alice that vnlesse she toolâ—â— heed the pot would run ouer and the fat lye in the fire at this â—â—â—â—… Now in the heat of all this businesse Barâ—â—â— tels Frances how there is good ale at the laboâ— in vain the matter being brought to this passe Winisrit saies that her god-daughter â—â—â—â—â— newly brought â—â—â— God blesse the child and â—â—â— Constance the Comfit maker wife at the â—â—â— of the Spiders leg must be â—… dresse to
day Stephen Earle of Mortaigue and Bulloyne the Sonne of Stephen Eâ—â—â— Bloys and Champaine was crowned at Westminster by William Corbell Archbishop of Canterbury takâ— Gouernement vpon him vsurpingly compare to his â—â— made to King Henry the I in the behalf of Maudth ' Empresse for the which his whole reigne was full of comoâ— all troubles For the Empresse claiming her right great parties weere taken on each side the King had on his part his brother Henry Bishop of Winchester William Archbishop of Canterbury Roger Bishop of Salisbury Hugh Bigott late Lord Steward to King Henry the first On the Empresse part were Robert Earle of Glocester her halfe brother Dauid King of Scotland Owen and Cadwallader sent to Griffith ap Coâ—â— Prince of Wa es and in Normandy Geffry the Empresse Husband made hauocke in the right of his â—â—â—â— in which space the King was dangerously sicks recouered and went into Normandy appeasing the tumults and leauing his Sonne Eustace Duke there makes league with France buyes his peace with the Empresse for 5000 marks yeerely and returnes into England after which Dauid King of Scotland with his valiant Sonne Preâ—â— Henry wasted and spoyled call the North parts of England till by Thurstane Archbishop of York and Ralpâ— Bishop of Durham He was â—â—â—â— and discomfited In â— me and space K. Stephen in diuers parts of this Kingdom was victortous chasing and killing many of those but aâ—â—â—â— posed him inforcing Robert Earle of Glocester to â—â—â— into France â—â—whilst Stephen in England â—â—â—â— â—â—â—â—â— and Castles After in a great â—â—â—â— the King was â—â—â—â— at Lincolne by th' Empresse and committed â—â—â—â— Bristow Castle but the Nobility distastins the â—â—â—â— sâ—rict gouernment fell off from her to King Stephens â—â— againe In these broyles more the â—â—â—â— Charâ—â—â—â— burnt in Winchester with almost the whaâ—â—â—â—â— med to ashes In the end Robert Eearle of Glocester was taken prisoner and exâ—hanged for King Stephenâ— the warres more and more encreasing till at last â—â—â—â— mercy looking on this miserable Land was pleased â—â—â—â— Stephen should ordaine Henry the Empresse form Sonneâ—â— Hetre after him vpon which conditions peace â—â—â—â— blished The King aged at Douer and was buried at Feuersham October 25 1154. hauing reigned â—â—â—â— all vexation neere 19 yeeres HENRY THE SECOND KING OF ENGLAND DVKE OF NORMANDY Guyen and Aquitaine c. TO th' Empresse Maud I was vndoubted Heyre And in her Right my Title being iust By iustice I obtain'd the Regall Chayre Fayre Rosamond I soyled with soule lust For which Heauens lustice hating deeds vniust Stir'd vp my Wife and Sonnes to be my foes Who sought to lay my Glory in the dust And he m'd me round with cruell warres and woes They poys'ned my sweete beautious tainted â—â— By Isabels deuice my furious Queene My very bowels 'gainst me did oppose Such fruit hath lust such force hath iealons spleene My cursed crossâ—s made me curse my birth With her I liu'd raignd died and arm'd to earth Anno â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— RICHARD THE FIRST Surnamed CVER DE LYON KING OF ENGLAND DVKE OF NORMANDY Guyen and Aquitaine c. THrough my Creators mercy and his might Ierusalem conquer'd and set free False mis-beleeuing Iewes and Turkish spight From Iury force perforce I forc'd to flee The Realme of Cypresse was subdude by me Suâ—ha trembled at my prowesse bold King Tanered bought his peace and did agree And paid me threescore ounces of fine gold Whilst I abroad won Honour manifold Aspiring Iohn my brother vext my Realme In Austria I was tane and laid in hold Thus noods of griefe each way me ouer whelme At last I home return'd my ransome paid My earthly glory in a Graue was laid Anoo 1189 Iuly 6 Thursday Richard the first surnamed Cuer De Lyon or Lyons Heart was crowned at Westminster by Baldwin Archbishop of Canterbury Shortly after his Coâ—â—â—tion he sold and pawned lands and gathering a great sum of 1100000â— he left England in the guidance of William Longchamp Bishop of Ely the Popes Legate and Lord Chancelor of England William king of Scotla'd being in amity with King Richard this king sailed in France with whom the French K. Philip went with their armies toward the holy Land in their voyage they touched the kingdom of Sicilia where Tancred the vsurping King of that Country gaue king Richard 6000. ounces of â— I know not whether it was for loue or feare He saild from thence and in a Tempest his Nauie was disperst and foâ— wrack'd neere the I le of Cyprus whom lsakius the by courteous King of that kingdome would not harbour vnlieue but contrarily pillaged and abused king Richard and inraged landed conquerd Cyprus carrying the king and his daughter away prisoners leauing the kingdoms vds â—â— two trusty Viceryes hee put againe to Sea bit â—â—â—â—â— number more then 300 he met with a great Argâ—â—â—â—â—â—â— the Sarazens with 1500 men in her and furâ—â—â— munition and victuals for their friends at Acon â— Argosey the King tooke after hee sailed to Acon â— ciently called Ptol omais which City he likewise conquered Philip king of France being with him and â—â—â—med 1500 Christians that were there in bondage The king of France weary or ennious of King Richards â—â— ries returned home In the meane time Earle Iohn Kings brother driues the proud gouerning Bishop of Eâ— out of his gouernment and this kingdome Tâ—â—â—â—â—â—â— King Richard fortified Ascalon marched before Ienâ—â— lem fought with the Salladine took 7000 Câ—â—â—â—â— other beasts killing the Infidels in heaps At last â—â—â— Duke of Burgundy forsakes the warres whereby thâ—â—â— was inforced to come to truce with the Saladine for â—â—â—â— yeeres Hee returning in disguise like a Marchâ—â— â—â— discouered and taken by Leopoldus Duke of Austria â— the Emperor took him from him In the meant space â—â—â— the Kings brother vseth all the foule play he c 〈…〉 Crowne After 15 moneths imprisonment the king â— released paying a great Ransome be landed in England was crowned againe at Winchester for gaue his brother Iohn sailed into Normandy against his mortall eâ—â—â—â— the King of France who fled from the siege of Vernoyâ—â— so soene as he heard of Richards comming yet newâ—â—â—â— arose betweene them wherein King Richard wasâ—â—â— Victorius Lastly at the battell of Gisors 1192 after â—â—â—â— sion he was most infortunately slain at the siege of â—â—â—â— named Chaluz with an Arrow the 6 of April 119â—â— hauing reigned nobly and prosperously neere 10 yeere IOHN KING OF ENGLAND DVKE OF NORMANDY Guyen and Aquitaine LORD OF IRELAND c. ROmes mighty miter'd Metropolitan I did oppose and was by him depos'd He turn'd this cursed blessings to his ban And caus'd me round to be with cares inclos'd The English and the Normans me oppos'd And Lewis of France my Kingdome did molest Whilst I to all these miseries expos'd Consum'd my Kingly dayes in restlesse rest At last the Pope was pleas'd and I reblest Peace was obtain'd proclaim'd I re-inthroan'd This was my raigne with
obiects to satisfie euery sence is there abundantly so that nature seemed to make that Country her store house or granary for there is nothing wanting except mens gratitude to God for such blessings The first night we lodged there at a pretty towne called Comoda which towne by negligence and occasion of fire had fifty houses burnt two dayes before our comming thither it beeing eleuen Dutch miles from Pragus There we hired a waggon 7 dutch miles to a towne called Slowne from whence we walked on foot along 16. English miles to Prague which long looked for Citty wee could not see vntill we came within an houres trauell of it within halfe a dutch mile is a fearefull place being frequented with inhumaine and barbarous murderrers that assault trauellers first shooting and murdring them after searching their pockets where if they haue mony or not all is one it is but so many slaine for these villains haue a wood and a deepe valley to shelter themselues in that they are hardly taken afterwards but if they chance at any time to be but apprehended they are racked tortured to make them confesse afterwards their executions are very terrible But I thanke God we past that place many other as dangerous as that where some were robbed murdered as report told vs both before vs behind vs and on each side and we saw in our iourny aboue score Gallowses and wheeles where theeues were hanged some fresh and some halfe rotten the carkases of murtherers broken limb after limb on the wheeles and yet it was our happines only to see the dead villaines escape the liuing I came into Prague on Thursday the 7. of September whither if I had come but the Friday before I had seene a most fearfull execution of a notorious offenders the manner how with their faults as it was truely related to me by English Gent. that saw it I think it not much impertinent to relate The one of them being taken apprehended and racked for ripping vp a liue woman with child for taking the infant out of her body did sow a liuing puppy into her belly all w ch he confessed he did to make properties for witch craft and being further tortured he confessed when and where he had commited 35. murthers more the other in respect of him was but a petty offender for he in all his lifetime had murthered but 14. For the which execrable facts their deserued executions were as followeth First they were brought out of the Iayle naked from the girdle vpward and so being bound fast on high in a Cart that the spectators might see them then the Hangman hauing a pan of coales neere him with red hot pincers nip'd off the nipple of one breast then he tooke a knife and giues him a flash or cut downe the backe on one side from the shoulder to the wast and presently gaue him such another flash three inches from the first then on the top he cut the flashes into one and presently taking pincers tooke hold of the crosse cut tore him downe like a Girse below the middle letting it hang downe behind him like a belt after which he tooke his burning pincers pluck'd of the tops of his fingers of one hand then passing to another place of the Towne his other nipple was plucked off the other side of his backe so cut and mangled which they call by the name of rimming if it had beene riming I would neuer haue written but in prose his other fingers nip'd off then passing further all his toes were nip'd off with the burning pincers after which he was enforced to come out of the Cart and goe on foote vp a steepehill to the Gallowes where he was broken with a wheale aliue one bone after another beginning at his legs and ending with his necke and last of all quartered and layd on the wheele on a high post till Crowes Rauens or consuming time consume him This was the manner of both their executions but I speake of the greatest murtherer particularly because it is reported that all these torments neuer made him once to change countenance or to make any signe or action of griefe to call to God for mercy or to intreat the people to pray for him but as if be had beene a sencelesse stocke or stone hee did most scornafully and as it were in disdaine abide it whilst the other villaine did cry rore and make lamentation calling vpon God often the difference was not much in their liues and manner of their deaths but I am perswaded the odds was great in their dying The Citty of Prague is almost circular or round being diuided in the middle by the Riuer of Moldoue ouer which is a faire stone Bridge of 600. paces ouer and at each and a strong gate of stone there is said to be in it of Churches Chappels 150 for there are great numbers of Catholiques who haue many Chappels dedicated to sundry S t s and I was there at 4 senerall sorts of diuine exercises viz. at good Sermons with the Protestants at Masse with the Papists at a Lutherans preaching at the Iewes Synagog 3 of which I saw heard for curiosity the other for edification The Iewes in Prague are in such great numbers that they are thought to be of men women and children betwixt 50. or 60000. who doe all liue by brocage and vsury vpon the Christians and are very rich in mony and Iewels so that a man may see 10. or 12 together of them that are accounted worth 20.30 or 40000 l.a piece and yet the slaues goe so miserably attired that 15. of them are not worth the hanging for their whole ward-ropes The Castle where the King and Queene doe keepe their Court is magnificent and sumpruous in building strongly scituated and fortified â—â—â— by nature and art being founded on a high â—â—â— so that at pleasure it keepes the towne in command and it is much mere spacious in â—â—â—â—â— for receipt in Gardens Orchards then the Towre of London I was in it dayly the space of 20 dayes and saw it royally graced with the presence of a gracious King Queene who were honorably attended by a gallant Courtly traine of Lords and Ladies and Gentles of the High Dutch and Bohemians where was free bounâ—â—â—â—â— entertainment to strangers in aboundance I must euer humbly and thankfully acknowledge the Queenes Maiesties goodnesse towards me whole vndeserued fauours were helpfull vnto me both there and in my tedious iourny homeward Moreouer there I saw had in mine armes the King and Queenes youngest Son Prince Robert who was borne there on the 16 of December last a goodly child as euer I saw of that age whom with the rest I pray God to blesse to his glory and his Parents joy and comfort There for a token I did thinke it meet To take the shooes from off this Prince his feet I doe not say I stole but
so himselfe himselfe doth ouerthrow The Philistines his childrens bloud did spill And with his Sword King Saul King Saul did kill 2. Samuel King Deuids royall heart is fild with woe For Ionathan and Saul his friend and foe In Regall state he liues and flourisheth And loues Sauls Grandchild lame Mephibosheth Affection blinds him on Vriahs wife T' accomplish which her husband lost his life The King 's reprou'd by Nathan and repents And by repenting heau'ns high wrach preuents Incestuous Amnon Absâ—lon doth kill For forcing Tamar gainst her Virgin will He 's reconcil'd vnto his louing Sire And proudly to the Kingdome doth aspire The old King flees and ouer Iordane hies The Sonne pursuing and the Father flyes Achitophel himselfe hangs in dispaire And Absolon dyes hanged by the haire The King for his rebellious Sonne doth mourne His people numbred are at his returne The Lord is wrath the pestilence increast That seuenty thousand dye and then it ceast 1. Kings The Kingly Prophet valiant Dauid dyes His Throne is left to Salomon the wise False Adoniah Ioab Shimei kild By his command as erst his Father wild With speed he sends for workmen from farte Coasts To build a Temple to the Lord of Hosts Before or after him was neuer such That had of wisedome or of wealth so much A thousand women some wed some vnwed This wise King to Idolatry misled He dyes and 's buried by his fathers toome And Rehoboam doth succeed his roome Now Israel from Iudah is diuided Both Kingdomes by bad Kings are badly guided Yet God to Iacobs seed doth promise keepe And raises faithfull Pastors for his sheepe 2. Kings Eliah worketh wonders with his word By inspiration of the liuing Lord He 's taken vp aliue and his blest Spirit Doth doubly in Elishaâ—s breast inherit Some Kings doe gouerne well most gouerne ill And what the good reformes the bad doth spill Till Isr'el Iudah King and Kingdome 's lost To great Nebuâ—hadnâ—zzar and his host 1. Chronicles Here euery Tribe is numbred to their names To their memorials and immortall fames And Dauids acts t' instruct misguided men Are briefly here recorded all agen 2. Chronicles The state of Israel Iâ—dah and their Kings This Booke againe againe Recordance brings Their plagues of plague of â—â—mineâ—â—lâ—uery sword For their contemâ—ing heau'ns All sauing word Mâ—â—â—ssâ—â—â— Praâ—er Mâ—â—â—ssâ—â— almost drown'd in black despaire Gaines mercy by repentance and by prayer Ezrs. The Persian Monarch Câ—â—â—â— granteth haue The Iewes once more their freedomâ— should receiue When at Ierusâ—lâ—m they make abâ—d They all with zeale â—â—â—â—â— the house of God Malicious men with poysnous â—â—â—â—â— fild Makes Artaâ—â—â— â—irdeâ— tho'e that build Yet God so workes that Israels is loâ—e and zâ—ale Resâ—mes againe their ancient Church and weale Nehemiah The booke of Ezra doth concord with this Commanding good forbidding what 's amisse And godly Nehemiah â—â—â—â—â— reform'd What sinne and Sathan had long time deform'd Esther Here he that dwels in heauen doth deride Queene Vshy's and ambitious Hamans pride The Iewes are sau'd by Esters suite from death And Haman and his Sons hang'd loose their breath Poore Mordecay is held in high account And to great greatnesse humbly he doth mount Thus God doth raise all those his Lawes doe seeke He layes the lofty low exâ—lâ—s the meeke Iob. No lusse of Sonnes and Daughters goods and all Make not this man into impatience fall Assailing Sathan tempring wife false friends With perfect patience he â—ll woeâ—â— defends I â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— quoth he into this world And â—â—â—â—d herâ—â—â—â—â—â— I shall be hurâ—d God giues and takes according to his word And blessed euer bee the liuing Lord. Psâ—lmes The blessed Kingly Prophet sweetly sings â—â—â—nall praises to the King of Kings Gods Power Iustice Mercy Fauour looke For they are comprehended in this Booke Prouerbs The wisest man that euer man begot In heauenly Prouerbs shewes what 's good what 's not Ecclessiastes Health strength wit valour wordly wisdome pelfe All 's nought and worse then vanity it selfe Salomons song This Song may well be call'd the Song of Songs It to the heauenly Bride and Groome belongs It truely shewes Christs loue vnto his loue His Church his Wife his Virgin Spouse his Doue Isaâ—ah This worthy Prophet truely doth foretell How Christ shall come to conquer death and hell Rewards vnto the godly he repeats And to the godlesse he denounceth threats Ieremy This Man of God long time before foreshoes Ierusalems Captiuity and woes Lamentations He wishes here his head a fountaine deepe That he might weepe weepe nothing else but weep That he might gush forth flowing streames fo teares For Iuaah's thraldome misery and feares Ezeâ—hiel In Babylon this Prophet Captiue is And there he prophesies of bale and blisse How all must come to passe the Lord hath said How Iudgement surely comes although dalayed Daniel The Kings darke dreame the Prophet doth expound For which he 's highly honour'd and renown'd Nabuchadnezzar doth an Image frame Commands all paine of death t' adore the same Three godly Iewes by no meanes will fall downe And for contempt are in the fornace throwne Where midst the flames vnhurt they sweetly sing Which wonder doth conuert the tyrant King Here Daniel Prophesies of Christ to come Of Babel Persia Graâ—ia and Rome Hosea He tels misgouern'd Israel their sinnes And how the losse of grace destruction winnes Ioel. This Prophet tels the stubborne hearted Iewes How heau'ns consuming wrath apace ensues He therefore doth perswade them to contrition And by contrition they shall haue remission Amos. Mans thanklesse heart and Gods vnmeasur'd loue This Prophet doth to Isr'els faces proue Obadiah He comforts Pudah ouer-prest with woes And prophesies destruction of their foes Ionah Here Ionah tels the Niniâ—itrs except Repentance wrath of Heauen doe intercept In forty dayes high low rich poore great small The Lords hot fury shall consume them all With hearts vnâ—aign'd the sinfull Citie mournes The Lord grants mercy Ionah backe returnes Micah He speakes of Isr'els and of Iuda's crimes And tels them their confusion comes betimes Nahâ—m The Niniâ—ites againe forsake the Lord And are subdu'd by the Assirian sword This Prophet comforts those that are opprest And tels the godly they shall be releast Habakkuk He doth be waile th' oppression of the poore For mercy humbly he doth God implore To keepe the Captiu'd Iewes from fell despaire He teâ—ches them a heauenly forme of Prayer Zephaniaâ— He fils the good with hope the bad with â—eare And tels the Iewes their thraldome draweth neere Haggay He exhorteth them to patience in their paine And bids them build the Temple once againe Zachariah He tels the Iewes why they haue plagued beene He bids them shunne Idolatry and sinne Malachi For sinne he doth reproâ—e both Peince and Priest And shewes the comming both of Iohn and Christ. Which Christ shall be a Sauiour vnto all That with true faith obey his heauoâ—ly call Apâ—â—ryphâ— These bookes doe all in generall intimate The State