easily believe you had other ends other aims than that of Charity and that out of your smart insight into Men for which you so much commend your self you had another kind of prospect of my Phisiognomy and Lineaments beyond the Spell of Dominican Mumping and far beyond the reach of cold dull and insipid Charity And therefore after I was once in a condition by means of your ill-boasted of Charity to appear upon your intended Tragic Stage I shall give the Reader from your own words a tast of some of your publick Imployments which you were pleased to confer upon your Servant so munificently Rigg'd and Launched into the World by your innocent Charity You say to use your own words pag. 13. That he would often bring me News of the great Designs of the Factious and that they had drawn Forces into the Citie while his Majesty was Sick at Windsor with intent to Subvert the Government pag. 14. That many of the Old Rump Officers were new rigg'd and had Pensions paid them by the Gentlemen of the Kings-Head Club. That Commissions were giving out by the Names of the Keepers of the Liberties ofEngland and that he was promised one among the rest I encouraged him to go on and gave him Money to defray his Charges c. That he Writ down at several times that which was found by Sir William Waller in my Meal Tub. That I went to the Lord of Peterborough and acquainted him with it and he presently handed us to the Duke of York to whom Willoughby delivered the paper That about the latter end of September Dangerfield brought me Stories of the great preparations of the Faction That they did publickly own their Treasonable Designs That Goodwin and Alsop had made great Collections among the Brethren to carry on their Rebellious Designs That Sir William Waller had three Hundred Horsemen ready for Action in an Hours Warning That the City was ready to rise and expected only the Word from the Confederate Lords c. Then says she these Discourses being general made me the easier credit him in particulars so I encouraged him to go on gave him more Money and bid him observe their Actions and Designs c. Lord Gentlemen what had this Lady of the Wicket to do to be so watchful for the good of the Common-Wealth what did Politicks and State Affairs concern her As if the Kingdom had been in labour of a By-blow or like the Vanquish'd and near-conquer'd French that now the English in the same distress had wanted another Joan of Arque to deliver them by the dint of her care and Zeal as the other hair-brain'd Amazon had endeavour'd to do by the Dint of her Sword certainly had such designs been really on Foot the King had better means of discovery than by such a Female Intelligencer as Mrs. Elizabeth Cellier and therefore notwithstanding all her charitable Cloathing of me the Naked Truth is still the Naked Truth that all the strange News and formal Stories which she pretends I brought her from time to time were no more than the Forgeries which the Lady Powis her Midwife and my self Contrived so that I cannot say but that the Woman did bring forth with my help but it was nothing but the Embryo of an ill coddl'd Plot and was the very Bastard that was afterwards found almost stified in the Meal-Tub Those Surmises and Accusations which she endeavours to fix upon honest Gentlemen about Horses Arms and Money out of her Zeal to his Majesties Service if any body will be so mad to believe her were those very individual Lies hatcht as I said before and of which the Meal-Tubb was so miraculously brought to bed and what I was Charm'd to insist upon as often as I waited on the King as appears by my charge against them Both in my first Narrative Truth far more probable than any of the foregoing Female Tittle Tattle of Mrs. Elizabeth Cellier Page 14 15. That Willoughby got drunk and pick'd a quarrel at the Rain-bow Coffee-House with one Kenestone about Sir Thomas Player and thereby made himself obnoxious so that having lost the hopes of obtaining a Commission himself he sought to get one by means of others and then swore God dam him now the Papists would give him no money he would go to the Presbyterians and they would give him enough How far she thinks this may amount to her excuse I know not but as well living as dying I must declare in the presence of God my quarrel being first by accident with that Gentleman Mr. Kinastone who I would now be glad to know that the Countess of Powis as well as her self were the persons that put me upon the Tumultuous part of it and did it on purpose not only to baffle the Electing that worthy Member of this present Parliament Sir Thomas Player but also to create a mutiny or uproar in the City for look ye Gentlemen to what purpose else should I leave a Challenge for Mr. Kinastone at the Coffee-House have 30 men or upwards ready Arm'd with Trunchions Pistols Poinyards c. had it been my quarrel only and I so extreamly poor as she expresses where should I have rais'd 25 l. or upwards to buy the said Arms or to gratifie so many people But the question is easily answered I had the money from the Lady Powis and her self who were purely my Abettors and Encouragers of the Action pag. 15. In the beginning of October he pretended he understood that several Treasonable Papers importing the whole design of the Factious were in a House at Westminster and that if he could get a Warrant to search the House he doubted not but that he should lay open the whole Conspiracy That he went to his Majesty to pray a Warrant That the King refer'd him to Mr. Secretary Coventry who suspected him and his shallow Contrivances but I being induc'd to credit him did upon his complaining that he was denyed a Warrant advise him to go by the Custom-house way which de did and then seized the Papers which were put there by himself c. Never did Midwife tell a Story more sillily than this pretended Wit of a Midw has done certainly she either wanted a Cup of Hippocras to refresh her memory disturb'd with continual watching for the good of the Nation or else she had drown'd her brains in more provocative Tent for Gentlemen observe she says but just before he Swore God dam him now the Papists would give him no mony he would go to the Prâ—sbyterians yet saith almost in the same breath I being induc'd to credit him did advâ—se him to go by the Custome-house way c. Here is a Tale so inadvertently told that one would think Mrs. Elizâ—beth had never told a tale in her life before but that all the World knows that Gossiping is so much the soul of Midwifery that 't is impossible for the Profession to subsist without it But certainly the Devil owed her a shame
she says I requested her to accuse the Duke of being privy to the conveying the Meal-Tub Papers into Collonel Mansels Chamber and bid her kill the Earl of Shaftsbury nothing could be more improbable in regard the World sees I never yet mentioned one tittle to that purpose in all my Depositions and besides the Papers that we put into Collonel Mansels Chamber imported matters of a clearly different nature from those of the Meal-Tub Therefore 't is strange that I should be so idle as to propose a thing of that detestable consequence to her that would no ways amount to the least tittle of service to my self unless she as a Confederate had encouraged me to it and supplied me from her wonted Fountain And then what should have hindered but that I might have repeal'd that as well as other things And farther that which is still more improbable is that I desired her to say she received a Thousand Pounds in Gold from Sir Allen Apsly to pay me for the Murthering the Earl of Shaftsbury and to raise Forces against the King c. A thing I mention no where nor did I ever charge her with being the Person which was to pay me for that for one Ricaut a Virginia Merchant and her great Familiar was to pay me Five Hundred Pounds for the Murthering the Earl of Shaftsbury according to the appointment of the Lords in the Tower And as for her lame invention of my being tortur'd with Cords or Irons 't is directly false and such a like Lye as that of Mr. Prance or one Coral a Coachman which she tells of in her third Page but if both her self and my self and indeed every such wicked miscreant had been worse tortur'd than what she has exprest yet it would have been far short of our deserts Pag. 20. She says viz. God is merciful and if I live I may repent I was deserted by every body and if I had not been hang'd I should have been starved it is a sad thing to depend upon an ungrateful and disunited people I have reason to take some care of my self those I belong to now are very kind to me and send me great encouragements I shall have a pardon and be set at liberty but before I go I would be glad you would consider your own condition c. To this no man has more to say than my self for I have been all my life time delivered by the Mercies and great Goodness of the All-seeing God whom I bless particularly for my last great deliverance from among that Infernal Crew and restoring me to his Grace and Favour in which by his Infinite mercy I will abide to the last minute of my life rather than be again corrupted for the greatest advantages that ungrateful disunited Pack as she calls them can propose to me for however vicious my past life has been the amendment only time will produce and I make no doubt but that it will prove to the general satisfaction of all such as delight in the conversion of a Sinner Then he shewed me Gold and told me great advantages were to be made by becoming the Kings Evidence By the word Encouragement I am intended for some Ridicule as I suppose for all persons may easily know what encouragement I have met with yet nevertheless there is no man can say I have exprest the least impatience for my sufferings The Gold she speaks of would no doubt have been as welcome to my Pockets as to another mans could I have justified the occasion of earning it where perhaps it might have met with an old hoarded piece which Mrs. Elizabeth had us'd twice as a Contracting Piece upon Marriage of two Husbands but to prevent any such farther use was by her presented to a certain young Spaniard some time since as an Earnest-Peny for his good Service who intends it a Present wherewith to tip the Cornudoes Horns if he 'l take the pains to come or send his kind Wife into the City to fetch it Pag. 21. That about twelve days before Dangerfield was taken he told me my Name was entred into Sir William Waller's Black Bill and therefore he adviz'd me to write to the Earl of Shaftsbury I told him I durst not do that but would go to his Lordship and then I desired him to go with me Here is another plain acknowledgment for I must confess that that very time she did request me to go with her but I then being under a most dreadful discomposure of mind out of a deep apprehension of the fatal errand upon which I had been there twice before was not to be drawn thither again which backwardness of mine was the reason she her self offer'd to go and do the work I was intended for in plain English to kill his Lordship which was all the business she had there But being dash'd in the face with the foul Guilt of a terrifying Conscience she came away to use her own words without any success The Stories of Jacob Clement and Ravillac had intoxicated her courage but when she saw it was a Man she was to kill she could not find in her heart to injure the Sex she loved so well Pag. 29. In January I was brought before the Committee of Lords where Dangerfield was asked if I did not set him on to create a mutiny at the Rainbow Coffee-house to which he replied I cannot say she set me on That I was angry with him for it bid him be gone out of my house and removed his Quarters into the Garret for that cause As to the Mutiny the remark I have made of it already is sufficient but how she could be angry with me for so good a piece of service as that was like to prove is as probable as her putting me out of her house by removing my Quarters into the Garret as she pretends which she could not find in her heart howsoever to do as being a Place very unfit for the intimate and near correspondence we then held and besides a Place only fit to receive a Lackey and which she ought not in Conscience to have offer'd to a c. that pay'd no less at that time than eight shillings a week for a more convenient Lodging in the same house and four shillings six penee per week for one much more convenient than either of them at Westminster That I being examin'd about a Walk that was upon Tower-wharf with the Lord C. J. and the Lady Powis and offering Ten Thousand Pounds concerning Sir George Wakeman made this reply Yes my Lords I read it in a Pamphlet which Pamphlet was printed some where in China in the two and twenty thousandth Year of the World and shewed to her in one of St. Dominick's Visions for after all the enquiry I have made I never could meet with one Person who ever saw any such Pamphlet besides her self And thus the Trully at Newgate being ask'd where they had their purloyn'd Booty cry They found it Such
was the impudence of this Woman rather to Droll with than answer the Demands of the Councel which made them look upon her only as a bold and incorrigible Bigott Pag. 23. If any thing in the World could give a probable light where the true Plot is managed mine and my accusers Cases would do it Indeed I am much of the same opinion for your very Defence accuses you and there is no Question to be made but tho management of your deliverance was as convincing an Argument to all Persons of understanding how the true Plot was managed as might appear by your soft and gentle and your Accusers harsh and undeserved usage which are the true Cases of you and your Accuser Ibid. That singly and alone without the advice or assistance of any one Catholick Man or Woman I was left to study manage and support my self to my own expence which above a thousand Pounds never receiving one Peny towards it but ten Pounds given me by a condemn'd Priest five days before my Tryal nor have I since received any thing or the least civility from them Madam this Rodomontado will not pass as being a meer bundle of Lies and Equivocations which they of your acquaintance that know better cannot but blush to hear you tell as if you were pratling over your Sack and Sugar and others that believe may as well believe the Story of Bell and the Dragon You would fain be Sainted for your Merits which has produc'd this extravagant Huff of yours and so perhaps you may as that Strumpet the Egyptian St. Mary so Famous in your Callender for exposing her Body to relieve the necessities of the Holy Monks and Hermites of her time As for the expence she mentions I take it for granted and the only Truth she ever told in her whole Life but that those expences came out of her needy Pocket I utterly deny for surely her Midwives Fees can never be imagin'd to have been able to bear the expences that amounted to much above a Thousand Pounds which argues the falsehood of her Assertion in this Particular for indeed things of that Nature are not to be managed at the expence of a Midwives Purse nor does it look with the Face of Innocent or ordinary conduct as she pretends for here are matters of divers kinds such as wanted the support of good Friends or the Devil himself who is said to be the God of Riches Mammon himself was only able to feed those greedy Mercenaries that suck'd the Canvas Teats of her Charity who by that means were made fit Instruments for her and her Confederates and then the Devil came in to act his part which was to stock them with fit Creatures so that by the loss of one three might be produc'd by way of fresh supply Therefore I give the more credit to the expence she mentions and am apt to think it not much short of one of the like nature which was Sir George Wakemans Case which how fitly this Woman or her Husband were quallified in state to manage I refer to all that know them Therefore in all probability there was a General Contribution to make good that breach for it was a close attack which if lost would have shook tho whole work without making the Kingdom rue it As to my own Sex I hope they will Pardon the Errors of my Story as well as those bold attempts of mine that occasion'd it since what I medled with though it may be thought too Masculine yet was it the effects of my more than Religious Zeal to gain Proselytes c. And no one can truly say but that I preserved the Modesty though not the timorousness common to my Sex Religious Zeal and Modesty Jesu Maria what a president of an Apology is here we shall have shortly by the example of this Midwife the whole Town fill'd with Vindications by all the Trulls in Whetstones-Park and all the Lewd Corners in the Suburbs we shall have such upholding of Fame and good Name and Honor among the Common Harlots that Women that are truly honest will be asham'd to own it Well This Mrs. Elizabeth Cellier has a stupendious Memory I had thought seeing it was so long ago that she had forgot the Practice of Religious Zeal and Modesty that she had forgot the very words but I see she has not However Gentlemen since she has been so nimble with my Life and Conversation I will give you a Compendium of hers And then you shall be Judges of her Religious Zeal and Modesty yourselves The way then she hath taken for many years to preserve her Modesty as she calls it hath been the greatest Forfeiture of it and occasioned the worst Reflections upon her Morals that ever any of the Sex has had made upon them For about Twenty years since she then being the Wife of a certain Merchant of this City did as she sayes by accident receive into her House a Comely Italian by the Name of Seignior Pedro de Viacho who had to attend him a Negro as Charming in her Eye as his Master at one and the same time she fell in Love with them both to that degree that it expos'd her to publick report which the Seignior being inform'd of made immediate Application to the Lady and soon confirm'd the report for Truth some time after the sight of the Black one day at Dinner as he waited on his Master so suddenly made a deep impression in her Heart that she was taken most violently ill of a Love Passion which she for the space of Ten days underwent with great impatience but having in this time watch'd all opportunities one Evening by Twilight when the Seignior and her Husband were at a Tavern she took the Black into her Chamber where having allow'd him more Freedom than his Heart could wish for she gratified her own Lascivious desire And such opportunities she often made use of insomuch that both the Husband and the Seignior were Jealous of the Moore for the Rogue was extreamly fond and could not forbear to express great Demonstrations thereof at several times when he was in her Company so that a little time produc'd the Effects of her Intimacy for this passionate Lady fell in Travail and in some short time and with no great difficulty was out of her Religious Zeal deliver'd of a brave Tawny Face'd Boy to the great amazement of all the beholders This made a terrible noise among the Neighborhood So that the Seignior being a man of some repute and not enduring to hear such Reproaches as he often met with pack'd up his Tackling and departed for Rome the Husband being overborn with grief soon after departed for Legorne where he became a Factor and ended his days How she spent her time for Three or Four years after I know not but about Twelve years since she lived near Holbourn and was then become very exquisite at the Cracking Trade from thence she removed to a certain Lodging in
Westminster where she met with a Second Husband as she sayes hearing the first was dead By the Second she had divers Children and whilst he lived was not much expos'd but the World in time thorough her extravagancy no doubt on 't Frown'd on him and he departed for the Barbadoes where he dyed After this she was scarce young enough to be a Whore and scarce old enough to practice Bawding so that for some years she turn'd Procuress as she her self has often told me to a certain great Person by which she recovered her self and then return'd to House-keeping and in Two years had gathered together a very devout Convent of Beautiful strapping young Daughters of joy whose remote practice at the Wells in the Country and elsewhere in three or four years replenish't her Purse But finding the great inconveniency of such a constant Resort of Doctors Pimps Bullyes c. to her house and the great threats she had often undergone of being sent to Bridewell for a Bawd she removed into the City of London where being by her absence become a Stranger she set up and profest the Craft of Midwifery still now and then by the By entertaining a young Courtizan for the space of a Month or so during the time of Delivery This Trade was in a short time discovered by the Neighbourhood and as soon by the Prentices who had not the request of some particular persons prevail'd did intend to have made a Shrove-Tuesday invasion upon her Inchanted Castle Yet notwithstanding all this she had cunning enough to insinuate her self into the Affections of one Mr. Cellier a French Merchant and by degrees prevail'd with him to marry her to the great lamentation of all his Children and Relations Some time after she removed to Arundel-street the place where she now lives and then undertook to Sollicit the Good-mans business during which time partly by her modest compliance with Lascivious Requests and partly by compulsion she raised the Estate and recovered a good part of it into their own hands which produced a plentiful livelihood together with the help of her moving hand In all which time there was still room to be found for a Gallant for the Good-man was aged and consequently troubled with the usual infirmities of his Years This sort of Life held for three or four years still turning out and taking into favour fresh Gallants and among the rest a young Spaniard who after some large demonstrations of his Abilities was received into favour It seems at first he did not perform his part of Complacency so well as was expected but in time being apt he was soon fit for the purpose after having undergone some correction and received some instructions from her self such as the School of Venus c. So that in a little time the Spaniard had made her sensible of divers New Transports such as she declared in her whole Life-time she had been a stranger to before as you may guess by the following Letters sent to the Spaniard who was her Agent in business of a difficult Nature here in London when she was at a place called Petersley in Buckinghamshire The First Letter My Dear Spaniard THIS Morning about four a Clock I awaked and by the help of the Light I discovered my self in the Arms of a dull and drousie Husband but my expectations were not answered by the usual enjoyments which onght to have attended that hour so that forc't I was to be silent and only divert my self by wishing my Spaniard here I received Yours with great difficulty and my Husband would have read it but I told him it was business concerned the L. P. but I read it with great content and as soon as I return I do resolve to try the effects of a short absence I am very uneasie when I eat or sleep I think I dream of you Your company is more dear to me then a thousand Husbands What is the Country or the company of Relations give me that Company I most delight in My Dear Spaniard In the day time I retire into the Woods in the Evenings to my Chamber where I embrace your Letter with Ten Thousand Kisses and am still unsatisfied for want of your company Here is a Lady desires you to make some Anagrams on these enclosed Names pray do so and send them in your next on Thursday night I am unwilling to let my Husband know when I receive any Letters and therefore I will walk in the Woods to meet the Messenger that comes from the Coach before he come to the House that I may read yours with more freedom From Peterly Adieu Dear Spaniard The Second Letter Dear Rogue I Did by great accident meet the Messenger and my Husband was very near me gathering Nuts when I received it but I had the good luck to read it before he came to me I protest it has so pleas'd me that I resolve to be in Town to morrow sevennight Give me the man of Conduct that can turn and wind an Intrigue to the best advantage I hate a dull Impenetrable Skull If the Lady and the Servants be at the Tower I know no place so fit as the House where you are but if there be any suspition 't is easie to take a Lodging at a place in Westminster which I have been formerly acquainted with and will be very convenient I fear nothing but that I shall not prevail with this Old Fond Fool to stay behind me and if he does 't will not be for above a Week so that we will make the most of the Time If you can take a Coach and meet me four or five Miles on this side London I shall take it kindly Farewell Yours E. C. These two Letters by accident miscarried by her own mistaking the Superscriptions and were sent to two Ladies of Quality who well knew the hand writing and therefore no doubt blusht sufficiently in the reading 'em but yet did not forget to expose them as far as they thought fit so that now the Intrigue being discovered by her own bad Conduct she made application to the Ladies and so obtained the Letters which let her deny if she can Many other pretty close passages I could relate but I shall reserve some for another time And doubt not but this will demonstrate to the world how modest a Creature she is and how much she deserves the charitable opinion of a Religious Zealot In the Postscript she tells us pag. 43. That on Wednesday the eighteenth of August I appear'd before the Lords of the Council and did then accuse Sir William Waller Mansell and Dangerfield of High Treason and offered to make good my Charge but by delayes I lost the opportunity of meeting the Gentlemen my Witnesses and could not examine the principal Part that day and by the next he was taken speechless as he still continues That she did accuse me of High Treason is a thing unknown to me but I know she might well enough