The Principall matters contayned in this discourse A Short Encomiasticke speech in praise of Charing-crosse The sinnes of Westminster The sinnes of London The Buildings of Westminster and London The Names of all the Kings and Queenes that lie buried in Westminster Westminsters complaint Vacations and Tearmes compared A paradox in praise of going to Law A paradox in praise of a Pen. Londons answere to Westminster Paules steeples Complaint The walkes of Paules described The Stewes on the Banke-side and the Suburbe-houses of iniquity at 〈…〉 compared together A paradox in 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 An Inuectiue against 〈◊〉 The Originall of London A description of 〈◊〉 bridge-Fayre A merrie lest of two London Porters performed there about burying of a Londoâ—â—â— To the very Woorthy Learned Iuditious and Noble Gentleman Syr Iohn Harrington Knight SIR the Loue which your immortall Ariosto tels to the world that you really beare to Diuine but now Poore and Contemned Poesie hath a long time made me an Honorer of those bright ascending Vertues in you which those Holy and Pure Flames of Her haue kindled in your bosome Happy you are by Birth Happy by your bringing vp but most happy in that the Muses were your Nurses to whome you haue beene so tender that they make you an Elder sonne and Heyre of their Goodliest Possessions So that your Loue to Them hath drawne from Others an Honourable Loue and Regarde of you The Path which True Noblenesse had wont and ought to tread lyes directly before you you haue beene euer and are now in the way which emboldens me to presume that as our Greatest Commanders will not disdaine to instruct euen Fresh-water souldiers in the Schoole-poynts of war so out of your Noble disposition you will vouchsafe to viewe the labours of so dull a Pen as This that writes vnto you Two Citties haue I summoned to a Parley and of their great Enter-view haue I chosen you to be Arbiter It is Boldnes in me I confesse but it is the Boldnes of my Loue referring which and my selfe to your worthy Censure I Rest. Deuoted to you in all seruice Thomas Dekker Westminsters speech to London O Thou goodliest Queene euen ouer the greatest Citties How glad am I O London that wee two are met together For now will I poure my sorrows into thy bosome Thou art Reuerend for thy Age as béeing now two thousand seauen hundred and fouretéene yeares old which is more then my selfe am by a thousand six hundred and foure yeares for I am but one thousand one hundred and tenne yeares of age Thou art Grandam almost to this whole Kingdome A blessed Mother thou art for no lesse then one hundred and thréescore Emperours Kinges and Queens hast thou borne in thy Wombe Healthfull thou art of body it appeareth by thy strength in holding out so long pure thou art of complexion It is séene by thy Chéekes the Roofes of them are nothing wythered Rich thou art in the treasure of all thinges witnesse the number of Nations that for thy substaunce are thy dayly suitors stored are thy breastes with wisedome and the glory thereof shines in the gouernment of thy Rulers Thou art full of pollicy great with experience renowned for Learning Thou art full of loue full of pitty full of piety yea thou art O Noblest Daughter of Brutus my Eldest Sister thou rather if our descents bee well looked into art my Mother Unto whom therefore can my condolements better come than to thée Upon whose lap shall I lay my aking temples if not vpon thine One eye of Heauen lookes downe vpon vs both one and the same handfull of earth serues vs both to dwell vppon The teares that fall from both our eyes make vp one Riuer and that Riuer serues againe for both our bodyes to bath in Since therefore wee are partners in all other thinges why should wee not be Sharers in our mothers affliction Thou standest silent I sée at these my spéeches as beeing driuen into wonder why I that haue alwayes kept company with the proudest and beene euer Iocond should now sinke downe into any kinde of complayninges But to kéepe thée O my best and fayrest Neighbour from tormenting thy selfe with thinking on the causes of this my grieuing let mée tell thée thou Nurse to many thousandes of people that I doe not pine to see that Auncient and oldest Sonne of mine with his Limbes broken to péeces as if hee were a Male-factor and hadde beene tortured on the Germaine Whéele his Reuerend Head cut off by the cruelty of Time The Ribbes of his body bruizes His Armes lop't away His backe that euen grew crooked with age almoust cleft in sunder yea and the ground on which hee hath dwelt so many hundreds of yeeres ready to bee pulled from vnder his feete so that with gréefe his very heart séemes to be broken I confesse thou brauest of Citties that this Graund-Childe of mine hath beene the tallest and hardiest of all the Sonnes of my body for thou knowest it aswell as I that hee hath borne himselfe valiantly and without shrinking in many a storme Many a tempest hath beene flung from Heauen to shake him yet still hath hee kept his owne footing Many astounding blow hath he taken on his head yet for a long time did he beare them without réeling So well beloued hath hee beene amongst the Kinges and Princes of this Nation that they would almost neuer passe to these Royall Pallaces where I inhabit and neuer repayre to their Houses of Parliaments or to their places of Kingly Tryumphes but they would of purpose take their way by him yea so greatly hath hee in times past beene helde in honour that the knees of common people hath beene bowed before him and the bare heades of the greatest Prelates héertofore haue shewed to him a kinde of reuerence Yet it is not for his sake O farre renowed Troynouant that my Soule liues in sorrow albeit I see him now laughed at â—nd contemned Neither am I afflicted by beholding the vnrulynesse of those Children that are vnder my kéeping It were a madnesse in mee to trette at theyr wickednesse because no sorrow of mine can amend it I know it and am ashamed to tell thée that Drunkennesse reeles euery day vp and down my streetes Fellowes there are that follow mee who in déepe bowles shall drowne the Dutchman and make him lie vnder the Table At his owne weapon of Vpsie freeze will they dare him and beat him with wine-pots till hée be dead drunke Out swagger they will besides being armed with that French weapon a whole Fayre full of Butchers and Tinkers who commonly are the greatest Fighters and most profound swearers As for that sin that is after serued in dinner and after Supper or rather that sinne that is vp night and day and can see aswell in darkenesse as in Lights that Monster with two bellies Lechery I meenne doe what I can no whips are
tooke away none of my dignities but as women marryed to great persons loose theyr old names so did I mine being wedded to that king and after himselfe was crowned with the Title of Laire-lud that is to say the Citty of Lud or Ludstone vpon whych some nations cald me Londonâ—uÌ„ or LongidinuÌ„ LaodinuÌ„ others Lundayne the Saxons Londonceaster and London-bridge The Spaniardes Londra the French Londres and nowe in these dayes the people of our owne countrey London In my Infantâ— rising was I but of base and meane estimation amongest other Citties and was scarcelie knowne for all I was the Daughter of a king But Ludde lifted mee vppe to high honours and greate aduauncementes for hee set a Corronet of Towers vppon my heade and although it were not beautifull for Ornament yet made he for me a Gyrdle strong for defence which being made of Turffe and other such stuffe trenched rounde about serued in the Nature of a Wall or Rampyre to keepe and defende off the assaulting enemies Afterwardes the Romaynes beeing the Lordes of the whole Kingdome and so consequently of mee insteede of throwing mee into seruile Slauery raysed mee vppe to high dignity and honour and whereas I trembled wyth feare to haâ—e my buildinges flaming about mine eares they adorned my body and apparrelled it rounde about with stone for til the arriuall of that warlike and industrious Nation on our shores the Brittons dwelt in Townes as basely builded as those now of the wild Irish. After I was thus fashioned and refined into the ciuill and beautifull shape of a Citty I began to be courted and to be the onely Minioâ— of the Land the Romaines fought in my quarrell the Brittons heaped vpon me honours the Saxons that draue out them bound Garlands of victorye about my forehead But these being beaten from my company by the Danes I was by them spoyled of all my Ornamentes and prostituted as a strumpet to the lust of ciuill discord In heate of which the Normans came in rescue chased hence y t Danes recouered the whole Empyre and reduced it into one Monarchy From that day haue I euer since flourished euer since haue I swelled vp in greatnes euer since haue I bin loued of our kings because euer since haue to our kinges bin loyall In which prosperous growing vp of mine all my boughes and my branches haue more and more in stead of bearing fruit bin replenished with multitudes of peoples whose numbers increasing it was thoght fit in policy that they should be quartered like Souldiers into hands the better to bring them into order According therfore to the Romans custome of Citties was I diuided into certaine Signories all of them notwithstanding like so many streames to one Head acknowledging a priority and subiection to One Greater than the rest and who sith aboue them those Diuisions or Partages are called Wardes or Aldermanries being 26 in number which are ciuilly guarded and wisely prouided for by 24. Aldermen in whom is represented the dignity of Romaine Senatours and of Two Sheriffes who personate in theyr Offices and places the Romane Consuls Then is there a Subdiuision for these Greater Cantles 〈◊〉 againe 〈◊〉 into lesse being called Parishes which 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 number 〈◊〉 which are vnto 〈…〉 within 〈…〉 so 〈…〉 with buildings so furnishes with 〈…〉 peopleâ— with wealthy Cittizens 〈◊〉 so 〈◊〉 wisely and peaceably gouerned Thost things are aâ—well knowne to thée 〈◊〉 to my selfe which 〈…〉 I am willing to repeate 〈◊〉 because that both of vs calling to minde the greatnesse of our byrthes and casting our eyes on the state and flourishing glory wherein we haue alwayes carryed our selues our misfortunes may be the more pittyed at the hands of forâ—en Citties who may fall into the like séeing the present condition in which wee nowe stand For alacke What auayles it vs to beast of our former strength of our beauties of our honours of our possessions or of the Riâ—hâ—â— wherein we flow when that wee cannot inioy our healthes which is worth all these Sicknesse hath dwelt a long time in thy Chambers she doth now walks still in a â—hostly and formidable shape vppe and downe my stréets Shee with her Ill Company infeâ—teth my Sonnes and Dauâ—hters and leades them dayly into such daungers that in hundreds at a time doe they loose theyr liues Fiue yéeres hath shee beene a troublesome Guest vnto me I receiued her at first though I loued not her Company yet I giue her good entertainement and patiently enduâ—ed her insulting oust mee and mine because I knew shée was a Messenger sent from aboue But woe to mee infortunate Citty Woe vnto vs both O my distressed Neighbour shall wee neuer shake handes with her and part Shall our faire bodies neuer reâ—â—uer of this Disease which so often and often hath run all 〈◊〉 them and doth nowe againe beginne to bee as a plague vnto vs Howsoeuer out of the fashion of Confeâ—â—â—es or out of a pride to shew my wit I haue checkt thée for deâ—ecting thy Spirits for any stroakes of calamity yet beléeue me the care that I haue of my Children whom I sée drooping Conquers the height of my minde subdues my Nature 〈…〉 me with sorrow almost the graâ—â—ling on the ground â—ead vnto vs both are 〈…〉 dayes whilest this pestilent vapour hanges ouer our heades Dead are our pleasures for wée do now take delight in nothing but in mourning Dead are 〈◊〉 houres of leysure and those which are full of 〈…〉 the Lawe it selfe of whose presence wee both are glad because we gayne by her and because sheâ— eueâ— bringes vs good and merry Company to chéere our heartes will sitte heauily in thy Courts of Iustice nay I feare shee will bee vnwilling séeing vs so subiect to diseases to sit there at all Many a sad black Tearme hath bin séen walking in thy Hall like a Mourner and I perceiue by thy lookes thou art now in feare to bee troubled with the like I cannot blame thee neither will I chide thée for I purpose to be as great with griefe as thy selfe Neyther if that Blacke and Ominous day so happen and fall vpon vs shall I wonder For I cannot see how the Diuine Vengeance should bee driuen back since so many bold darings are giuen forcing it to breake through the gates of heauen The shaking of the Rodde is not thought of the stripes mooue vs not the very drawing of bloud is by some but made a mockery to proue it I will recite vnto thee though to fell it my buildinges will shake at the very horrour of the same A story of death both true and new And this it is One vppon whom I had but lately bestowed the Tâ—le and Dignity of a Cittizen of whome I had good hope cause I found him woorthy him to bee aduanced taking his last leaue of mee as since it hath faine out departed to that quarter of the Land to which from all other partes men
and vnblemished 477. years after the beginning of my foundation for I was raised and intituled to the name honoâ—r of a Temple about the yeare after the Incarnation 61â— And in the yeare of Redemption 1087. was I with a great parte of thy body O thou Best of Citties consumed in Fyre But I was in a shorte time healed of those hurts by Mauritius thy Byshop who to defend me from after-burnings mounted me vpon Arches gaue me ribs of stone which was fetched from Cane in Normandy Frée from the mallice at least from the strokes of ruinating Tâ—me and the enuious blasts of Fortune did I continuâ— full 357. yeares together after this first blowe but in Anno 1444. heauen smote me with lightning yet did I presently recouer and held vppe my heade loftier then before for in Anno 1462. did my body carry in heigth 52â— foot the stone worke being 260. foot and the Spire as many In length was I 720. foot and in bredth 130. At the same time did I weare on the Crowne of my head as it hadde bin a Crest vnto it a Cocke or Eagle which beeing inconstant was I thinke destroyed for turning about with euery winde It carryed in weight fortâ— poundes being of copper gilded ouer the length from the bil to the taile four foote the breadth ouer the wings three foote and a halfe the crosse from the bole to the Eagle fifteene foote and sixe ynches of a size the length thereof ouer-thwarte was fiue foote and ten ynches The compasse of the bole nine foote and one ynch of which crosse which stood aboue my head as a rich Diadem the inner part was Oke the next couer was lead and a third vppon that of copper which with the bole and Eagle being of Copper also were al gilded ouer In this magnificence was I arrayed thus was I with Marble Towers and Pynnacles crowned the wonder of the world was I counted in the iudgement of all eyes that beheld mee and the onely marke that enuie of forraigne kingdomes shot at who did but heare of my Greatnes But alacke how momentary is all earthly happinesse Howe fading is our painted Glory Many yeares were not numbred but behold in Anno 1561. the hand of Heauen was once more filled with vengeance which in clouds of fire was there throwne vpon my headâ— so that in lesse than the space of foure houres I that was the Mirrhor of the world for beauty was made the miserablest creature in the worlde by my deformity Yet did that woorthy and my euer to be honoured Mistris bestow vpon me in Gold 1000. Markes to make good my losses and gaue besides warrant for a 1000. loades of Timber to repayre my ruines Thy Cittizens likewise O my dearest mother and the Cleargy of the Lande were euen Prodigall of theyr pursses to set me vp againe Some good was done vnto mee and much good lefte vndone This last blow was to mee fatall and deadly for now am I both headlesse and honourlesse my shoulders â—â—ing daily troden vpon in scorne branded with markes and Letters and scoared vppon with the points of kniues and Bâ—dkins which howsoeuer the ignorant laugh at those that are wise know they are Characters of my infamy yea to so low a â—â—â—te am I brought that madmen and fooles euery ydle companion lay wagers in mockery onely to abuse mee Some séeing me so patient to endure Crowes and Dawes pecking at my ribs haue driuen tame Partridges ouer my bosome others euen riding ouer me and Capring vpon my backe as if they had bin curvetting on the horse which in despight they brought to Trample vpon me Who therefore that did but eyther knowe or hath but heard of my former prosperity would not gréeue to sée mée fallen into this basenes and most contemptible bondage but I haue deserued I confesse I haue most iustly deserued to haue these afflictions these dishonours and these open punnishmentes layde vppon mee albeit they were tenne times numbred ouer and ouer For whereas I was at first consecrated to a misticall religious purpose the Ceremonies of which are daily obserued in the better part of me for my hart is euen to this hower an Altar vpon which are offred the sacrifices of holy prayers for mens Sinnes yet are some limbes of my venerable bodie abused and put to prophane horrid and seruile customes no maruell though my head rotte when the bodie is so fâ—l of diseases no maruell if the Diuine Executioner cut mee off by the shoulders when in my bosom is so much horrible and close Treason practised against the King of the whole world For albeit though I neuer yet came downe all my stayres to bee Occuler witnesse-bearer of what I Speake and what is sometimes spoake openly and sometimes spoke in priuate committed in my Walkes yet dooeth the daily sounde and Eccho of much knauish villany strike vp into mine eare What whispering is there In Terme times how by some slight to cheat the poore country Clients of his full purse that is stucke vnder his girdle What plots are layde to furnish young gallants with readie money which is shared afterwards at a Tauern therby to disfurnish him of his patrimony what buying vp of oaths out of the hands of knightes of the Post who for a few shillings doe daily sell their soules What layinge of heads is there together and â—â—â—ting of the brains still and anon as it growes towardes eleuen of the clocke euen amongst those that wear guilt Rapiers by their sides where for that noone they may shift from Duke Humfrey bee furnished with a Dinner at some meaner mans Table What damnable bargaines of vnmercifull Brokery of vnmeasurable Usury are there clapt vp What swearing is there yea what swaggering what facing and out-fasing What shuffling what shouldering what Iustling what Ieering what byting of Thumbs to beget quarels what holding vppe of fingers to remember drunken méetings what brauing with Feathers what bearding with Mustachoes what casting open of cloakes to publish new clothes what muffling in cloaks to hyde broken Elbows so that when I heare such trampling vp and downe such spetting such â—â—lking and such humming euery mans lippes making a noise yet not a word to be vnderstoode I verily beléeue that I am the Tower of Babell newly to be builded vp but presentlie despaire of euer béeing finished because there is in me such a confusion of languages For at one time in one and the same ranke yea foote by foote and elbow by elbow shall you sée walking the Knight the Gull the Gallant the vpstart the Gentleman the Clowne the Captaine the Appel-squire the Lawyer the Usurer the Cittizen the Bankerouâ— the Scholler the Begger the Doctor the Ideot the Ruffian the Cheater the Puritan the Cut-throat the Hye-men the Low men the True-man and the Thiefe of all trades professions some of all Countryes some And thus dooth my
in the body of the Worlde Which mischiefe that worthy Romaine Captain who about the eight yéere of the raigne of Cassibelan Brother to King Lud my first Founder and 54 yéeres before the King both of Heauen and earth sent his Sonue to dwell amongst men entred this Land conquered it made it tributary to the people of Rome wisely looking into and obseruing that Princes Rulers and Great personages must of necessity being bound thereto by the ceremony of their birth or by their place in the state yéeld sometime to that which otherwise y t noblenes of their owne bloud would abhor did often wish that he could not know how to handle a Pen. And that Mirror of her Sexe both for magnanimity of minde inuinciblenesse of Spirit and which is to her the greatest part of her â—ame for the closing vppe of so long a raigne with so full and so grieuous a period that Goddesse vpon earth whilest she liued that our Good Mistris Eliza when shee was to signe any warrant for the death of any Péere would passionately yet with a Spirit equal to Ceaâ—ars say thus Would to God wee had neuer beene taught how to write And thus O thou that sittest crowned like an Empresse withall our riches and fairest Monuments haue I discharged the Office of a faithfull surueior by telling thée what part of thy goodly body is builded too high wherein my Counsell is that thou shouldest a little plucke downe thy Pryde And in what other part thou stanâ—est too low where I could wish thée to raise it vp to a more noble Eminence I haue likewise pointed with my finger at al those Cracks disioyntings Flawes and Flyings out which if they bee not repayred are able in time to shake into dust a Citty greater then thy selfe And in my Reall loue to thée haue I scored such plaine markes vpon thy hidden Ruines which like Treacherous Seruants receiue in stormes for euer to vndâ— thée that if in any fit season thou vnderprop them and take down whatsoeuer is amisse thou shalt in this thy old age growe strong and lusty againe and with an easie Rest saue thy selfe from Falling With a frée and vn-mercenary voyce haue I pleaded for thy good by discouering what is ill in thée so that my Lectures of Reprehention may serue as wholesom Councell Thou canst not blame me for opening thy woundes and searching them to the quick sithence thou séest I spare not mine owne My pils perhaps may séeme a little bitter in going downe but in the working thou shalt finde them as comfortable as Restoratiues Take courage therefore to thee and like a Prince that can commaund his owne affections which is the Noblest Soueraignty be bold not onely to strike off those sicke and infected parts about the body of the Weale-publicke whych threaten daunger to those that are sounde but also applie thou the same sharp medicines which I haue ministred to thée if hereafter as I often féele my self thou perceiuest me ready or subiect to fall into loathsome diseases We are now both of vs as Buildings belonging to one Land lorde so closely ioyned together in league that the world thinkes it a thing impossible by any violence vnlesse we fall to ciuill discention within our selues euer to be seperated our handes as if it were at a marriage are plighted one to another our bodies are still embracing as if they were Twinnes wee are growne so like and euerie day doe more and more so resemble each other that many who neuer knew vs before woulde sweare that we were all One. Sithence then we are held to be so let vs neuer bee taken to be otherwise But as sisters do if the one féel sorrow let the other mourne if the one bee lifted vp to honors let not the other repine And as stringes to an instrument tho we render seuerall soundes yet let both our soundes close vp in swéet concordant Musicke Arme thy selfe therefore with Mee to maintaine that Vnion without whych Realmes are builded vpon sande and On whych they are stronger then if they stood vpon Rockes And because al Citties were bound in common ciuility in pollicie and in honour to maintaine their Names their Callings their Priuiledges and those Ancient houses that Spring out of them I wil in thy presence Annatomize my selfe euen from head to foot thou shalt know euery limbe of me and into how many parts my bodie is deuided My birth may bringing vp and my rising shall bee as manifest to thy vnderstanding as to mine because by the wilfull ignorance of those that ought of duety to preserue my credit my good name is oftentimes and in many places abused taken from me Neither would I haue thée account mee insolent vain-glorious or ambitious in erecting these Trophyes of Fame to my selfe with mine owne handes for vpon them shall neither be ingrauen the Actes of my sumptuous Builders whych would be too great an ostentation nor the battels which my Citizens haue oftentimes fought and won in defence of my liberties which more to my glory might be rehearsed by others But passing ouer the Names of some which to repeate would be to me an euerlasting renown As to boast which lawfully without the blot of arrogance I could doe that Constantine the Emperor y â— builded Constantinople drew his breath from my bosome or that Maud the Empresse did honour to me as to the mother that gaue her life or that King Henry son to Henry 2 was begotten in my womb which Henâ—y at the age of 7. years was maried to Marg. y e French kings daughter being not two years old afterwards with her in the life time of his father were crownd at Winch. But burying this glory of mine to be forgotten in the Graues where these my children lye now consumed to nothing I will onely content my selfe it is but a poore ambition to tell thée how I came to be called a Citty By what Names London from time to time hath bin called and how it came to bee diuided into Wardes OBserue me therfore O my most ingenious Pupill and scorne not to cal me thy Tutor for I must heere and there speake of some matters that I was an Eye-witnesse to long before thou hadst any being Knâ— theÌ„ because time who alters all things may perhaps heereafter as hee hath done already giue me some other new vpstart name that Brute from whom I tooke my byrth after had broght me as thou séest to this day I abide close to the Ryuer of Thames did there bestow a Name on me called me Troynouant or Trinouant and sometimes Trinobant to reuiue in me the memory of that Citty which was turned into Cinders and that for all the spight of those Gods who hated it there should be a new Troy which was my selfe That was the style by which I was knowne for the space of more than one thousand years and then Lud chalenging me as his owne