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A44756 Thērologia, The parly of beasts, or, Morphandra, queen of the inchanted iland wherein men were found, who being transmuted to beasts, though proffer'd to be dis-inchanted, and to becom men again, yet, in regard of the crying sins and rebellious humors of the times, they prefer the life of a brute animal before that of a rational creture ... : with reflexes upon the present state of most countries in Christendom : divided into a XI sections / by Jam. Howell, Esq. Howell, James, 1594?-1666. 1660 (1660) Wing H3119; ESTC R5566 113,995 188

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Hierarchy And can endure to see and face alone The glorious Beatific Vision A joy which all joys else transcends so far As doth a morning Sun the meanest Star Archangels Angels Saints Souls sever'd may yee stil The Empyrean Court with Halleluiahs fill Infantium Cerebri Sextus Post Quadraginta Gloria laùsque Deo saeCLorVM in saecVla sunto A Chronogrammaticall Verse which includes not onely this year 1660. but hath Numericall Letters enow to reach above a thousand years further untill the year 2867. Heic Terminus esto AN ADVERTISEMENT Relating to ORTOGRAPHY THer is a Saying that hath gain'd the repute of a Proverb though it be also a kind of Reproach That the French neither sings as he pricks nor thinks as he speaks nor speaks as he writes The first proceeds from abundance of spirits and his volatil airy nature The second from his Exces of Complements The third because he wold have his Language retain still of the Romand or Latin Toung Therfore when he writes Temps Corps Estoille Advocats c. which com from Tempus Corpus Stella Advocati he pronounceth them Tan Cors Etoilis Avocà The English may be said to be as guilty hereof for if the French writes Apres la tempeste vient le beau temps and pronounceth Apre la tampete vien le bou tan After a Storm comes a Calm If the French writes Les Advocats bastissent leuers maisons de testes de fols and pronounceth Les avocà batisset leur mesons de tete de fous Lawyers build their houses of Fools heads viz. Clients The English comes not short of him for wheras he writes God give you good Evening he often saies Godi godin Wheras he writes Much good may it do unto you he often pronounceth Musgiditty The French do labor daily to reform this and to bring both Writing and Pronounciation to be consonant by retrenching the superfluous letters for wheras they were used to write Les Epistres que les Apostres ont Escrit they now write as they pronounce Les Epitres que les Apotres ont ecrit It hath bin the aim of the Author in this Book and others to do the like though the Presse did not observe his Ortography so punctually Now Strangers use to quarrel with our Language and throw away the Book in a chase somtimes because our writing and pronunciation are so differing For when a stranger meets with treasure measure feature reader weather people c. he pronounceth tre-asure me-asure fe-ature re-ader we-ather pe-ople When he meets with witnesse sicknesse wittie prettie pittie starre warre c. he pronounceth witness-e sickness-e witti-e pretti-e pitti-e starr-e warr-e c. Wheras if we wold write them as wee pronounce them viz. Tresure mesure feture reder wether peeple witnes sicknes witty pretty pitty star war c. which gives altogether as full a prolation strangers wold not find such a difficulty and distast in learning our Language It hath bin and is still the endevor of the Author to reform this as also to bring those words which are derived from the Latin Toung to follow her Ortography rather then the French wherby divers Letters are sav'd as Magic Tysic Colic Favor Lahor c. not Magique Physique Cholique Favour Labour c. For as it is a Principle in Philosophy Encia non sunt frustra multiplicanda Entities are not to be multiplied in vain so it may as well hold in Ortography That Letters are not to he multiplied to no purpose Add hereunto the Topicall Rule as the Author observes els-where Frustra sit per plura quod fieri potest per pauciora More is waste whe●… fewer will serve one turn THE INDEX A more particular Account of the Ingredients that went to the Composition of this Work A Fol. THe Art of governing Man the most difficult 26 An Asse's body medicinall for many things after death Ibid. The Antipathy 'twixt an Ape and a Snail 50 Aristotle Secretary of Nature's Cabinet-Councell 55 Ambition hath no Horizon 70 Aristotle held that in the Female there was no active principle of Generation 55 Confutation of the said Opinion Ibid. Apelles painted a good huswife standing upon a Snail 58 Aristotle inconstant to himself where he treats of Policy 98 The Affections of the Peeple an imperfect security to a Prince 99 Of Atoms 103 The Activity of Atoms 104 The Application of the Sympatheticall Powder 106 Aetonia characteriz'd 108 Aetonia full of mongrell Princes 109 The advantages of the Human body 120 An Asse cannot abide Fennell 18 Artonia a Noun Substantive that can stand by it self ibid. The Artonian Peasan born in chains 19 Of Artonia with the plenty and beggery thereof 18 Of the great Artonian Favorit 21 The Austerities of Nuns 134 B Bees how usefull after death 138 Bees bodies pounded good against many diseases ibid. The Books of the Dead enliven the Living In the Epist. Brute Animals more easie to be govern'd than Mankind 99 Of the Beast with many heads viz. the Common peeple ibid. The Brains of a Fox good against the Falling sicknes 100 The Blood of a Fox good against the Stone and the Cramp ibid. A dead Boar hath nothing bad in him but his Excrements 112 The Brains of a Boar good against the bitting of Serpents ibid. The Blood of a Boar good against Carbuncles ibid. Boar's liver good against the biting of a mad Dogg ibid. Boar's lard good to make broken bones firm ibid. Boar's testicles good against the Falling sicknesse ibid. Boar's dung good against all venomous bitings as also against the pain of the Spleen and Sciatica ibid. A Boar being dead hath many vertues and why ibid. How Beasts go in many things beyond Man 120 The Carboncian sells his King 129 A Bees Hive the chief Confectionary of Nature 134 C The Conduct of the Passions the greatest prudence and the Conquest of them the greatest prowesse In the Epist. Children a certain care but an incertain comfort 24 Comparisons 'twixt the Body Politic and the Natural 48 Censures pro con of Tumontia 69 A rare comparison of the holy Trinity 83 A City in Saturnia where husbands use to get their wife 's with child a hundred miles off 88 A Character of Saturnia 89 Of the gripes of Conscience 90 Of Covetousnes ibid. The Common peeple a cross-grain'd Animal 99 A Comparison touching the Tomanto Empire 109 The Character of an Aetonian 111 Of Cuprinia 114 The Cuprinian compar'd to a Wolf 115 The Cuprinian had vast designes 114 A Carboncian turn'd to a Soland-Goose and the resons why 125 Carboncia a coors Country ibid. Carboncia's brag of her Kings 126 Carboncia's late story ib. Carboncia found Fidlers fare in Gheriona 128 The Country of Gheriona good but the peeple bad 131 A high Complement 135 Concupiscence not given to Mankind for a torment but for delight ibid. F A Description of the Morning 48 A Discours of Woman-kind 56 A Devill lurks in every berry of the Grape 68 Divers
our turn But then we call'd another which was fit for our purpose and we steer'd their courses all the while with a great deal of care The first thing we did was to endue them with a faculty to create fears and jealousies whereof we made excellent use and although those fears and jealousies appeared afterwards to every common man as plain as the nose on his face to be but meer forgeries and supposititious things yet we did still so intoxicat their intellectualls that we made them to adore still the coyners of them And to give your Stygian Majesty among divers others one most pregnant and undeniable demonstration what firm footing we got in that Island we did raise in few years more Pythonesses which the ignorant vulgar call Witches there then ever were in that Country since your Majesty tempted Eve and we enabled our said Pythonesses to send their inferiour Imps abroad upon our service We stood at the King's elbow when he pass'd the Act of continuance wherein a Carboncian was our chief Engineer But the great City Polihaima stood us in most excellent steed to compasse our designes we made the riffraff and rakehells of that wanton City whom som call'd Myrmidons others their Bandogs to rabble the King out of Town we brought also thither the silly Swains of the Country like a flock of Geese to gaggle up and down the streets with papers in their hats they knew not about what We managed the businesse afterwards so dextrously and did aggravate things by degrees that we made their credulous King because he was so profess'd an enemy to your Majesty to go disguis'd in serving-man's habit to his Country-men the Carboncians with whom we prevail'd so far that they delivered him over as a Sacrifice and betraid him Iudas like to the Gherionians who crucified him sufficiently afterwards by tossing and tumbling him up and down by depriving him of the comfort of all things that use to be dear unto man as his wife children friends and servants by working upon his conscience in a compulsatory way and stretching it upon the very tenter In summe we have reduc'd that Country to a conformity with this of your Majesties to a perfect Chaos of all confusion we have brought the sway into the common peeples hands making all the Nobility and Gentry to crouch and cringe unto them And never did common peeple more truly act the part and discover the genius of a common peeple more lively whose nature is still thirsting after novelties and Utopian Reformations though oftentimes they fool themself thereby into a a baser kind of slavery finding when 't is too late those specious idaea's and confus'd forms of Government they apprehended at first and hugg'd in their own conceits to be at last but meer absurdities when they com to the application and practise therof And Sir the most advantageous instruments we have us'd to bring all this about have bin the Pulpit and the Presse by these we diffus'd those supposititious fears and jealousies formerly spoken of to distract the brains of the silly vulgar Instead of Lights we put Firebrands in their Churches who according as we did dictat unto them did baul out nothing but sedition war and blood We have made som of them to have as good an opinion of the Alchoran as of their own Liturgy We made new Ordinances to batter down all the antient Canons of the Church we have made them to un-saint all those who were call'd Apostles to prophane and plunder all places that were consecrated we brought som of them to put a division 'twixt the Trinity it self we have brought them to keep their Fasts more solemnly than the Sabboth upon which day we made them usually not onely to sit in Councell but to put in execution their chief designs of blood To work all this the main and most materiall thing we made use of was spirituall pride your Majesty's old acquaintance which pride we have infus'd into the mind of every Mechanic or Country-Swain who will boldly now undertake to expound any Text of Scripture new or old upon the warrant of his own giddy brain Insomuch that we have made that Book which they call the Bible that was ordained for the Charter of their Salvation to be the chiefest instrument of their Damnation We have brought those exotic words Plundring and Storming and that once abominable word Excise to be now familiar among them they are all made free Denizens and naturaliz'd among them We have made those who came petitioners for peace to the great Councill to be ill intreated and som of them to be murther'd but those that came for warr to be countenanc'd and thank'd We made the mother to betray her child the child the father the husband the wife and the servant his master We have brought a perfect Tyranny over their souls and bodies upon the one by tedious imprisonments and captivity with a forfeiture of all their livelihoods before conviction or any preceding charge upon the other by forcing them to take contradictory Oaths Engagements and Protestations On that foolish superstitious day of Christmas with other Festivals we have brought them to shut up their Churches and to open their Shops and Shambles so that in time they will forget the very memory of the Incarnation of their Saviour We have brought them to have as little reverence of their Temples as of their Tap-houses and to hold the Church to be no more than a Charnell-house of rotten bones And though they still cringe and stand bare-headed before any wrangling Bench of common pleading yet we have so stiffned their joynts and made their heads so tender in that which they call God's House that there they can neither bow the one nor scarce uncover the other We have made the fundamentall Laws to be call'd but meer formalities We have made that which was call'd their Great Charter to be torn to a thousand flitters and stretcht the priviledge of the Commons so wide that it hath quite swallowed the Royall Prerogative and all other priviledges We have grub'd up and cast away those hopefull Plants that grew in their two Seminaeries of Learning and set in them graffs of our own choice We have made the wealth of Town and Country of Poor and Rich to shine in plunder upon the Souldiers backs We have made them command free-quarter of those that were more sitting to ask alms of them We have made them rifle the Monuments of the dead to rob the very Lazaretro to strip the Orphan and Widow We have made them offer violence to the very Vegetables and inanimat Stones to violat any thing that was held holy to make Socks of Surplices to water their beasts at the Font and feed them on the Altar and to term the thing they cal the Sacrament to be but a two-penny Ordinary We have made them use on the close-stoole that Book wherein the public Devotion of the whole Nation consisted In fine we have
earth Yet somtimes she hath us'd to sow such another Tail as mine to her Lions skin and proceed by craft as well as by strength Now though Policy and Craft agree in their Ends yet they differ in the Means conducing to their Ends The one proceeds by honourable and gallant manly waies to attain her ends the other by dishonourable and base subdolous ways she cares not what Oaths she swallows and breaks afterwards she cares not what lies fears and jealousies she creates to amuse the silly vulgar and therby to incite them to Arms and Rebellion for tearing the bowells of their own Country and to loose all allegiance to their natural Prince She makes no scruple or conscience to make Religion her Mantle to palliat all her designs and by a horrid kind of prophanenes and blasphemy to make God Almighty the Author of all Rebellions and Sedition As was lately practised in Gheriona more then in any other Country that ever was under the cope of Heven And now ther 's a company of poor Sir politic Woodbies or Wise-akers that wold put a Cats head upon a Lions neck they wold make a petty Common-wealth such as that of Hydraulia of that antient spacious Monarchy with the Crowns thereunto annexed Kingdoms which have lasted thousands of years without any Interregnums at all till now And observable it is that among other benefits or plagues rather which Gheriona hath received from Hydraulia for raising her first to a Common-wealth from obedience to her hereditary Prince one is that she hath poysoned Gheriona in her Policy as well as in her Religion For now she hath the fate to have such Wise-askers in Government that can see afar off no farther than to the tips of their noses They wold take down the Royal Saddle and clap a pair of Panniers on Gheriona's back never looking forward what will follow viz. an everlasting Warr Nor do they fall to any account what a disparagement it will be that so large and noble a Kingdom shold be cast into so petty a mould as that of Hydraulia who is above thirty times inferiour to Gheriona in extent of Territory and more then forty times in point of Plenty Pererius It is a clear truth what you affirm that tru Policy is much sophisticated in this latter age and touching the hints you give of Gheriona in point of Government and the present designes that are afoot to transverse it I know to Country full well It may be a feasable thing to turn the great City Polihaima to a kind of Common-wealth for she hath smelt a great while of a Hans in regard of her many Corporations which may be said to be petty Republiques of themselfs but for Gheriona her self it will be a hard confused task to reduce her to such a Government it being incompatible both with the Genius of the Peeple the Posture of the Country and Politicall Constitutions established there for so many Ages They who make inspections into the influxes and vertu of Heavenly Bodies find that Mars is the Planet predominant over Gheriona and 't is observed that where he predominats that Clime and Country is fit for no other Government than Monarchall Whereas those Countries where the Moon is predominant as Marcopolis and others are naturally fittest to be made Republiques Therefore let those men who have now the vogue of Power and Counsell in Gheriona beat their brains never so much let them scrue up their wits and stretch all the policy they have as far as possibly they can yet they will never be able to constitute a lasting durable Government or settle a firm and generall Peace without a King that kind of Supream Officer is congeniall with the Nation it self which will never be fixed till then Therfore as I said before let those men who are now upon the Stage of Power winde up their wits as high as they can without this they will be still at a losse their consultations will be like a skein of ravell'd silk they will be in a labyrinth of confusions and the end of one will be still the beginning of another Now ther is no Art so incertain so subject to difficulties as the Art for Man to rule Man Ther be many poor Sciolists in Gheriona who of late years have shot at rovers in prescribing Rules of Government they take the ashes of the Iudaicall the Greek and Roman Common-wealths to apply them to the present times wheras those Nations were of another temper of other Religions and consequently of other kind of Intellectualls and diffring Idaeas to the present Age They shold rather produce examples from Gheriona's own Historians which wold be far more suitable But go to the chiefest Politians Antient or Modern that ever writ of Governments you will find all their opinions concenter in this point That ther is no Government which hath a nearer analogy with that of Heven that is more lasting upon earth that is more regular or that hath any certain principles but Monarchy That great Chair-man or Grandee among Philosophers Aristotle in his Politiques upon which ther is such a world of Comments speaks of sundry species of Governments as Aristocracy Democracy Oligarchy and Stratocracy but he puts no Rules for any onely he hath this assertion that Aristocracy or Optimacy allows no Artificer or Mechanick to be a Cittizen or Counsellor Much of his discourse is of the first Founders of Common-wealths then he proceeds to correct the errors of Common-wealths before he tells us what a Common-wealth is Moreover in handling the kinds of Government in generall he flies forward and backward in a disorderly way but when he descends to particular forms he is full not onely of confusion but contradictions and inconstancies to himself In som places he seems to deny any naturall Right much more any Majesty to be in the People whom he holds to be little inferiour to Beasts Wheras else-where he affordeth a liberty to every City to set up what Government they please either by Force or Craft which in effect is to allow the Peeple to do what they list if they be able Now this high-reaching Philosopher cannot much be censured for roving up and down in so incertain a subject it being impossible for any human brain to prescribe any infallible universall Rules for Government that may quadrat with the nature of all Climes and Seasons and be appliable to the humors of all Peeple Other Sciences have Demonstrations and undeniable Principles but the Art of Government hath no such Maxims in regard of a thousand sort of contingencies that attend human negotiations as also for the various dispositions of peeple som Nations are so fiery mouth'd that they must be ridd with a Bitt if not with a Curb and Martingale but a small Bridle will serve others nor are the same Constitutions fit for a Continent that are proper for an Iland nor those of a Maritim Continent fit for a Mediterranean Country who know not what
medicinall vertues in a dead Deer 64 Of the Discovery of the New World 71 The Doctor of Physicks Fee but two shillings in Tumontia 73 A Discours of Physic and the Art thereof pro con 74 Diseases belonging to all the parts of Human body 78 Distempers of the mind more cruciatory than those of the body 80 A Discours touching the Sense and the Soul ibid. A Discours of Aetonia and how she is impair'd 109 What Nation is the gretest Drunkard 111 A Discours of the Instinctive Reson that Beasts have 119 What a damnable thing it is for Subjects to rise up in Arms against their King 128 A Discourse of Nuns 134 A Discourse whether the Human Soul be by Infusion or Traduction 140 The Degrees of the Celestiall Hierarchy 145 A discourse of the Immortality of the Soul 147 E Experience the touchstone of Truth 6 Of the English Liturgy 30 Examples pro con touching the chastity of Women 59 An Emblem of a lavishing wife ibid. Every one knows how to tame a shrew but he who hath her 61 Examples of notable scolds ibid. Examples of the rare Longaevity of Deer 64 The Elephant begins his youth at threescore years ibid. How pittifully the Empire is decay'd 111 Of Aesop's Dogg 115 The fearfull and sudden judgment which fell upon the Carboncians for their Rebellion 129 Of the fixed Starrs and the Planets touching their motion 136 Exact Obedience among Bees ibid. Exact Government among Bees ibid. An Epitome of the late confusions in Gheriona 33 An Epitome of the confusions throughout the world for forty years ibid. F Fable of an Ass. 24 Of a foolish Naturalist who wish'd ther were another way to propagat Mankind than by Women 55 The Fable of the Stagg 65 A Facetious answer of a Pope touching Physitians 74 The Foam of a Mule drunk in warm wine good against Pursines 85 The Fable of the Mule ib. Divers Fables of the Fox 87 The Fable of the Frogs 99 A Fox toung carried in a chain good against sore eyes 101 Fables 'twixt the Wolf and the Lamb applied 105 The Fable of the Goat and the Lion 118 The Fable of the Horse and the Ass. 24 The Fable of the Ass and the Spaniel ibid. G God heals but the Physitian takes the Fee 77 No Government so wise that can fit all Countries and why 98 The genitalls lights and liver of a Fox good against the Spleen 101 The Gum of a Pine-tree eaten by the Fox when he is ill 100 Goat's blood dissolves Diamonds and scours better then any file 123 Goat's milk recovers a Load-stone when being rub'd with Garlick it hath lost its vertu ibid. Goat's marrow good against aches ibid. Goat's trindles drunk in wine good against the Iaundies c. ibid. Goat's liver entralls ashes horns milt spleen urine marrow hoofs gall dung trindles sewet c. all medicinall ibid. Gheriona censur'd 131 H A graduall Hymn to God and his Angels 150 if the Humors were fix'd in Man's body he might live eternally In the Epist. History a profitable study 31 The horridnes of Annihilation 49 Honest men use to marry wise men not 62 The hardship the Tumontian endures 69 Health the most precious of Iewels 77 The high prerogatives of Reson 81 A horrid kind of Revenge 92 Another Hellish revenge in Saturnia 93 A late History of ten Morris-dancers in Orosia that made above a 1000 years betwixt them 122 The Horrid Ingratitude of the Carboncian against their native King 128 The Horrid Insurrections in Hebrinia took rise from Carboncia 130 Hope like Butter gold in the morning silver at noon and lead at night 135 I In som places of the Indies the living wife throws her self into the pile with her husband 60 Iealousie among Thoughts like Bats among Birds 90 The Insulsity of the common peeple to think any rare effect to be Magicall 102 Of Instinctive Reson 118 Ill humors adhere to human nature as rust to copper 121 Of the Infirmities of Mankind ibid. Idlenes the Devils couch 154 K The highest knowledge a man hath of his Creator but half blindnesse 83 A cruel horrid murder 103 The Kirk-mens horrid ingratitude 128 The Kings Cheese goes away three parts in pairings in Artonia 19 Why the King of Artonia keeps the common peeple so low 20 The King of Artonia's huge taxes 19 The King of Bees hath no sting 136 The King of Bees hath a solemn Funerall 189 L A Lawyer like Balaam's Asse he will not speak unlesse an Angell appear 16 Of Lawyers 17 Lawyers build fair houses of Fool 's heads 17 Of Laughter 22 Of the long age of Deer 64 Laughter a passion that hath the most variety of action 22 The Laws of the Kingdom of Bees 136 M Mirth and sadnes follow one another in human bodies as night succeeds day The Epist. Magic the first Philosophy 2 Man Paramount of all the sublunary cretures 7 Man a tyrant to himself ib. Man's body compar'd to a ship 10 A Mariner's life 12 Man the most intractable of all cretures 26 Of the great maiden-maiden-City Marcopolis 63 Man hath more diseases than a horse or any other creture 98 Of M●rchants 70 Marther strangely discover'd 92 The marvellous continence of a Saturnian 94 Of Monarchy 98 Som generall Maxims of Policy may extend to all Countries 99 The mode of raaking the Sympatheticall Powder 103 Man more savage then any Beast 108 Of the Method of Providence 110 A Miser and a Hog good for nothing till after death 112 Man tax'd of presumption 121 The Miser like an Ass that carrieth gold but feeds on thistles 17 The motions of Nature irresitible 135 Mans gretest foes are within himself ibid. Man the gretest Amphibyum of Nature for having three souls 159 N Of Navigation 9 A notable proverb touching long life 49 The noble gratitude of a Saturnian 94 Not such a Tyrant in the world as the common peeple 99 The Naturall and Politicall body compar'd 20 A notable Fable of the Ass and the Horse applied 24. Nuns a degree higher the the ordinary cours of happines 134 Nature abhors captivity 135 O Of fading earthly joys 149 Of hevenly joys ibid. Otter's stones good against the Palsie 8 Otter's liver reduced to powder good against the Stone and Cholic ibid. Of old age 64 Of the perturbances of human brains 68 Opportunity the best moment in the whole extention of Time 72 Of Physitians 87 The odd life of a Soldier 114 Orosia vindicated 122 The Orosian faithfull to his King 123 Orosia corrupted by the Gherionian Sectaries 124 Of the three Souls in Man 159 New Opinions that the seeds of the Parents go not to impregnation but the Female conceives by virtuall contact 141 Of the three Faculties of the Soul 143 P The Prerogatives that Man hath over other cretures 7 The Partridge and Pidgeon purge themselfs with Bay-leafs 76 Policy how degenerated of late days 95 The truest Patriots are the Marcopolits 95 Policy and Craft distinguished ibid. The poor