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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A54012 Pendragon, or, The carpet knight his kalendar D'Urfey, Thomas, 1653-1723. 1698 (1698) Wing P1142; ESTC R2343 47,703 198

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Words in eithers Speech Were Whore and Rogue and Dog and Bitch Which Decency will not repeat Nor will our Brevity admit Laurence grown sensible beside Of the quick Turning of the Tide Finding both Spouse and Times too hot For his abiding on the Spot Resolv'd since he could have no Room here Straightways to pack off to St. Omar And in the Turning of ones Back B●hold him under Sail of Smack Thom'sine put Finger in her Eye At Parting but she could not cry When all she said was Since 't is so As he came lightly let him go Many with Laurence put to Sea And some of Highest Quality The Mixture was as universal As that of Grand Dance in Rehearsal Here a fat Friar may be seen Shouldring and sidling to a Queen A Foot man there in Cabin thrust is With one but late a Lord Chief-Justice A Prelate lately clad in Purple Stuck 'twixt a Laundress and a Tarpol So may be seen in the same Cellar In London-Town of some close Dweller Cold Scraps set by with Shooes and Sandals Raw Joint hung up near Pound of Candles Drink-Barrel Cobwebs Culm and Coal Behind the Door the Privy-hole As diff'rent Sort did now embark As once were stow'd in Noah's Ark But only those were Beasts and Fowl And these had once a Humane Soul Which now transform'd to that of Hare Was put in such a Fright and Scare That ev'ry pitiful Crowdero That could but tune or sing Burlero Beyond-Sea drove the flying Heroe Ev'n Fear in Triumph rides and seizes All Sorts now Pardon Catechresis Not only those who were surrounded With Guilt were by its Terrors wounded But Men of Honesty Britannick Were strangely struck with Horror Panick As if Old England was to perish By a small Handful of Wild Irish Towns burnt Throats cut i' th' Neighbourhood Tho' no Man saw nor Smoak nor Blood Yet the false terrible Alarms Provok'd the Peasant to his Arms. Great was the Out-cry in its kind Which carry'd on the Wings o' th' Wind Left Danger Fears and Foes behind Tho' soon the frightful Dream was o'er And Foes Fears Danger out of door Who fell on Thursday in a Swoon Oppress'd with Laughter tumbled down On Friday Morning for the Cause Of Terror so ridiculous So soon the Innocent were freed From Harm and Peril Fear and Dread But to th' Obnoxious various Ill Doth threaten to continue still Tho' Hugo was last Month o'er-run So far with Superstition Made by ill-boading Birds afraid Which muted as they flew on 's Head Yet he took Heart-a-grace and try'd By the quick changing of his Side His Neck and Substance both to save For all he ' ad plaid so much the Knave Perceiving where his Bread was butter'd Himself equipp'd and well accouter'd Away he gallops on his Horse Until he met with Arthur's Force Whom he shakes kindly by the Hands And cries You 're welcom my dear Friends This is the joyful Day indeed When we shall be from Bondage freed The Popish Priests and Emissaries Rub off in Mists like juggling Fairies Our Properties are laid a whitning And our Foes fly away like Lightning Strangers believ'd the Man spoke true Because they saw him clad in Blue And if it was Dissimulation He manag'd it with great Discretion He patiently Reproaches bore From those who knew him heretofore And if he met with Kick or Cuff Put it up quietly enough Who of his past vile Actions told Had his Mouth straightways stopp'd with Gold Hugh's open Purse was held in Common And many a Friend he made with Mammon He now stands having paid his Fine Rectus in Curia by his Coin Not so Pendragon whom we said Was sore afflicted and dismay'd He knew not where he best could stay Nor had the Power to run away If seiz'd he must expect to fare Alike with Aesop's Trumpeter His pleading that he ne'er drew Blood Would do him very little good Himself not fighting only was An Aggravation to his Case Because it was most evident That he had been an Instrument To blow the Bellows of Destruction Who shares more Guilt than he who looks on A Tyrant in his raging Fits Owes half the Murders he commits To scoundrel Cowards who incense Him with the specious Pretence That Cutting Throats and Desolation Is for the Publick Good o' th' Nation That driving Subjects from their Dwelling Is but to hinder their Rebelling To burn and stab and hang and flea Means of expelling Heresie And the well-exercis'd Dragoon Fittest to plant Religion That Monarchs who the same won't licence Ought to be made away with Poysons Sick at the Heart Pendragon grew And as unsav'ry as a Iew It cut him to the very Soul To meet with nothing but Controul To find the Politicks he taught Were render'd false and worse than naught His Wit so sharp in the Lampoon On Mobb was by the Mobb run down And for the Crimes his Wit committed By Mobb he fear'd to be De Witted All his Offences with his Pen VVere by the same paid home again Expos'd and made ridiculous And pepper'd worse than D'avenant's Mouse VVhich got poor Thing a Pocky Clap But a more fatal dire Mishap Impended o'er Pendragon's Head For when an Act of Grace was read Pardon almost for ev'ry Crime VVas granted to the present Time He heard poor harmless VVretch by Name Himself excepted in the same Nay then quoth he where-e'er I go The Halter still does me pursue Of all the Friends I lately had There 's none in Circumstance so bad Laurence who parted with his Faith VVith a false Consort parted hath VVelcom to his Fraternity He 's safe enough from Hanging free Madam once Darling of my Soul Has plaid the Jilt but not the Fool She 's married to a wealthy Cit And Money far surpasses VVit Witness that Rogue my quondam Squire Lately so much at my devoir Abus'd me grosly to my Throat And turn'd without a Blush his Coat His having Money makes the Knave Now in his Life and Fortunes safe Eas'ly that Wretch doth Scandal slight Who saves his Life and Substance by 't My Life 's on Wing my Fortune 's flown And Infamy survives alone A Diego's Will before my Death When I have Nothing to bequeath Would but expose me to the Mock Of all Men for a Laughing-stock Strange Things my Fancy doth presage It sets before my Eyes a Sledge By which there stands with uncomb'd Hair A Blear-ey'd Executioner With Night-cap Halter Saws and Knife Prepar'd to take away my Life My Ears hear nothing but the Knell And Sound of St. Sepulchre's Bell. The Turks believe and Tunquinese That Death most Honourable is Which sheds no Blood thro' any Hole But keeps the Skin intire and whole Then Hanging they must needs prefer But what make Saws and Hatchets there Avaunt My Brains grow hot and burn And tho' I can't yet they may turn And so may prove the happiest Remedy That can assist me in Extremity Mean time these frightful Sentiments Do not become a Man of Sense A celebrated Wit to cry Because he is about to die For shame Since Pow'r is left me yet To walk and talk and drink and eat I Life enjoy and so long hope That I may slip beside the Rope Which to effect it will be wise To put my self in such Disguise That none can know me and then skulk Close under a Translator's Bulk THE CLOSE THE Farce is ended What remains Will not become our Dogg'rel Strains Let a refin'd Heroick Verse Great Arthur's History rehearse Be That committed to the Care Of wise Apollo's Son and Heir Who all so wondrous are his Merits His Father's Faculties inherits His Cures extend to Humane Kind Diseas'd in Body and in Mind Expells the Modern Malady Which had o'er-run our Poetry His Verse so purg'd and fin'd from Dross Exalted others doth surpass Far as the Heroe whom he sings Excells all other Mortal Kings Burlesque may serve us to remove Wheel-barrow-like our Dunghills off To clear the Rubbish from our Home But He must sing of King Dom. Com. FINIS Books printed for Iohn Newton at the Three Pigeons in Fleetstreet THE Honourable Hugh Hare Esq his Charge at the General Quarter-Sessions of the Peace for the County of Surrey held at Darking The Second Edition corrected An Historical Relation of the Conspiracy of John Louis Count de Fieschi against the City of Genoua in the Year 1547. Written in Italian by Augustin Mascardi Gentleman of the Bed-chamber to Pope Urban the Eighth Done into English by the Honourable Hugh Hare Esq Dr. Falle's Account of the Isle of Jersey with a New Map dedicated to the King His Three Sermons on several Occasions Sir Francis Bacon's Essays A Discourse of Natural and Revealed Religion in several Essays Or The Light of Nature a Guide to Divine Truth By Mr. Timothy Nurse The Anatomy of the Earth By Thomas Robinson Rector of Busby in Cumberland New Observations on the Natural History of the World of Matter and this World of Life In Two Parts Being a Philosophical Discourse grounded upon the Mosaick System of the Creation and the Flood To which are added Some Thoughts concerning Paradise the Conflagration of the World and a Treatise of Meteorology With Occasional Remark upon some late Theories Conferences and Essays By Mr. Tho Robinson Pendragon Or The Carpet-Knight his Kalendar A Poem A Panegyrick to the KING on the Peace By Jo. Glanvill Esq of Lincolns-Inn The History of the Campagne in Flanders for the Years 1692 1693 1694 1695 1696 and 1697 being the Ye● of Peace All written by Ed. d' Auergne M. A. Rector of St. Brelade in the Isle of Jersey Chaplain to His Majesty's Regiment of Scots Guards