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A55548 A very good wife a comedy, as it is acted by Their Majesties servants at the Theatre-Royal. Powell, George, 1658?-1714.; Brome, Richard, d. 1652? City wit.; Brome, Richard, d. 1652? Court begger. 1693 (1693) Wing P3058; ESTC R1147 49,711 57

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for this I never found much inclination to trouble him but to be limited and be prescribed would make a Woman mad This was a poor Trick in him but I●le go study something to forget him Exit Well Ha! ha I do perceive 't will take I find she retains a relish of her Predecessour Eve and longs to be pidling at the Fruit forbidden Enter Bonavent driving in Squeezwitt Bon. Sirrah dare but contradict me and I 'le cut thee into more pieces than there are Corns of Powder wasted on a Lord Mayor's day Well How now Gentlemen what 's the matter Bon. What the Devil do you there I thought thou hadst been abused enough by that Widow weathercock that 's alwaies turning plague on her she had her fling at me too But thank my Stars I am here now on another account Well But prithee how has Squeezwit angred thee Squeez Why Mr. VVellborn forgive me for Swearing he will have Mr. Venture talk to Mrs. Carroll and make Love to her in spight of my teeth Bon. Yes Sirrah and he shall talk with her his Belly full and do with her too her Belly full for all thee he 's an honest discreet Gentleman and thou a Coxcomb a Coward Squeez Coward Pish that 's a common Name I scorn to answer to 't Bon. Why dost thou wear a Sword only to hurt Mens feet that kick thee Squeez A Sword why I wear a Sword to fight when I see Cause Bon. What is a Cause to fight for speak Squeez I won't tell you it must be found out and given me before I ought to take notice VVell You may safely say for Religion King or Country Bon. Darest thou fight for Religion ha Squeez Ha! No for no man that has any Religion will fight I am sure Bon. I say thou hast none speak hast thou any Squeez Why truly in this wavering World I cannot tell what to say Bon. He 'll say he has no King too rather than Fight VVell Why if he won't fight for him he 's no Subject and no Subject no King you know Squeez I thank you Sir I would have said so Bon. Oh thou woud'st make a special Souldier Squeez Well Sir all are not choice Dogs that run some are taken in to make up the Cry Bon. And for thy Country I dare swear thou woud'st rather run it than fight for 't Squeez Run my Country I can't for I was born in the City I am no Clown to run my Country Bon. Dare you tell me of Clown you Cockney Chicken-hearted whelp you Squeez Forbear good Sir there are Country Gentlemen as well as Clowns and for that Rank I honour you Bon. Sirrah you lye Strike me for that or I will beat thee most abominably VVell Up to him man wist thou suffer this Squeez I I I would but Bon. You lie agen Squeez Well well I think I do and why should I maintain an ill Cause Bon. The Woman you love and doat upon is a Whore Squeez Why if she be 't is none of my fault nor hers some body else made her so I warrant you but ' sdiggers should another Man tell me so Bon. What then Sirrah Squeez Why I wou'd say as much to him as I do to you nor indeed is any Man's Report of that a sufficient Cause unless she her self confess it and then it were no Cause at all VVell Here 's a true City Wit Squeez I should have Wit and am accounted a Wit within the Walls I 'm sure my Father was Master of his Company and the wisest Company too in the City VVell What Company 's that Squeez The Salters Sir for sal sapit omnia you know Bon. Your Father your Father was a Cuckold and you 're the Son of a Whore VVell Death fight now or you 'll die infamous was your Mother a Whore Squeez Comparatively she might be in respect of some Holy Women as the Lady Ramsey Mrs. Katherine Stubbs and such ha ha is that a Cause VVell What not to say your Mother was a Whore Squeez He may say his pleasure it hurts not her she 's dead besides at best she was but a Woman and at worst she might have her Frailties like other Women And shall I fight for the Dead when we are forbid to pray for ' em VVell But were your Mother living what wou'd you say Squeez I wou'd civilly ask her if she were a Whore or no. If she confest it then he 's i th' right and ●ought not to fight with him because my Cause wou'd be naught If she deny'd it then he were in the wrong and I would not fight for I had better let him live to repent his Errour you know Bon. Nay now if I don't kill thee let me be hang'd for idleness Squeez Hold I am unprepar'd Draws Bon. I care not unless you swear presently without all Equivocation upon this Sword Squeez Scabbard and all I beseech you the Cover of the Book is allow'd in all Courts to Swear upon Bon. Well Sir now you must swear to challenge the next Man that wrongs you Squeez Yes if the wrong give me sufficient Cause Well Cause agen Bon. Suppose that Picture Drawer within should take your Mistress from you as indeed I believe he has already Squeez How give me the Book give me the Book I 'll have her from him or him from her tho' I change the Nature of a Citizen and turn valiant Ex. Squeez Well I love a Man whom neither Lye Kick Battoon Friends Scandal Parents the wrongs of King Country or Religion can move that will yet fight for his Mistress Bon. Oh a Woman is a very moving Cafe But I must take my leave my hour draws on that I must meet my Charming Isabella ●A●ide VVell I have Affairs that call on me too therefore you have saved me the trouble of an Apology● Your Servant Exeun● severally Enter Annabella Isabell and two Footmen Ann. Be sure to observe punctually my Directions and when he enters lay him on without mercy Foot I warrant you Madam we 'll have as little compassion for him as the Fryars would have for a Baily Ann. I wonder he comes not 't is almost near the hour a true Lover is seldom found tardy at an Appointment Isab. If Lovers find no better incouragement than he is like to do 't is enough to make Men forswear Intriguing Enter Courtwi●t Court Away away into your Chamber quickly Hanavent's just turning of the Street and Squeezwit has receiv'd your Letter who will be here immediately therefore withdraw Ann. We will obey you noble Doctor Exeunt ●mnes pre●er Courtwi●t Enter to him Bonavent disguised like a Physician Bon. Honest honest dear Noble Dr. is the ready for me Court Mr. Bonavent I am a Fool if I took you not for a real Physician Bon. As I take it this comes pretty near the Disguise you ordered me Court Oh Sir most admirably 'T is impossible you shou'd be suspected for she has feign'd her self
said enough dear Widow Wid. To him What I warrant you 'd come for your part too Well You retain I see your unkind temper will no thought soften your Soul Disdain agrees but ill with so much Beauty if you 'd perswade me not to love you strive to be less Fair undoe that Beauteous face shrow'd those bright Eyes and make those fair Enchanters those Twins of Light less Lovely VVid. Flights and Raptures here 's Romantick Gibberish for you thou a Suitor to a young Widow such a high-flown Romantick Fopling If it were possible I ever shou'd be so mad to Love to which I thank my Stars I 'm not inclined I wou'd not hold such a Servant worth my Garters tho' he wou'd put me in security to hang himself and ease me of his Visits VVell You are a strange Lady but look you Widow as Romantick as you think me I have no such extravagant Opinion of your good humour for let me tell you barbarous Woman y' are VVid. Ay ay as you hope for any good Rail now a little VVell Rail● yes and you deserve it so deserve it that shou'd I tell you truth I cou'd provoke you VVid. To laugh but not lie down believe me VVell Go y' are a foolish Creature and not woth the Love I bear you Wid. Aloud that all may hear the more merrier I 'll take 't as kindly as if you 'd given me the whole Exchange what all this storm without a shower my Carido● ● Well Y' are most ungrateful Wid. Good abominable peevish and a Wench that shou'd be beaten beaten black and blue Come you can't Scold with confidence you shou'd look big strut and cry damn her confound the jilting lying cozening Sex Well Is she not mad VVid. To shew I have my Reason I 'll give you some good Counsel None that have Eyes will follow the Direction of a Blind Guide and what do you think of Cupid Women are either Fools or very wise take that from me the foolish Women are not worth your Love and if a Woman know how to be wise she will not care for you VVell And do you give all this good Counsel without a Fee Come be less wild I know you cannot be so hard of Soul VVid. Oh pray let my Body alone go go go home and say your Prayers I won't look for thanks 'till seven years hence VVell I know not what to say but home I will go and think a Satyr against your jilting Sex Was ever Man thus used for Loving well Who Courts a Widow needs no greater Hell Exit Well VVid. Well I am a Jade to treat him thus for I do love the Rogue spight of dissembling what a strange thing is Woman who whilst wooed teems to shun that she most desires to have But 't is the nature of us all to fly From those that Love and Court them that deny Carro But Cousin as much as you say you love this VVell-born if your young Masquerader shou'd come across you I wou'd not swear for your fidelity to him VVid. O do not name that darling Masquerader ah Girl 't was only a deluding Vision seen but just long enough to Charm my Eyes and warm my Soul then disappear'd and vanish'd that Dear that Angel Youth Carro Where 's the high flown Romantick Raptures now VVid. No Girl I wou'd not swear for my own self shou'd I e're meet that face but the poor VVell-born Is now past any danger from that Coast The Charm's dissolv'd and Airy Rival lost Exit SCENE the Street Enter Courtwitt like a Physician Court Thus far my Fortune has dealt kindly with me let my last Scene end with the like success and I deserve applause But to my business these Letters from my Wife must serve to draw the VVoodcocks Bonavent and Squeezewit in and since they must be leaping they shall find it is unsafe to venture in my Pasture Enter Bonavent and Venture Ha! here comes one how earnest in Discourse I 'll step aside it may be worth my hearing Goes aside Bon. A VVidow what is she or of whence Vent A lusty young wench they say able to wrestle down stronger Chines th●●●ither of ours Bon. But ho● is she Purs'd Man How strong is she that way Vent VVhy they say she 's worth at least Ten Thousand Pound Bon. How Man Vent Even so I have Intelligence that never fails she came to Town but lately and Lodges at Old Hickman's the Draper Bon. Plague on him an Old Amorous Stock-Jobber he 'll go near to aim at her himself Vent Like enough he may aim at her but she will be hit by none but a Gentleman that I hear too oh she 's a fierce Ambition to be of Quality tho' her first Husband was but a Tanner Bon. A Tanner Plague on 't I shall be loath to venture on her she 'll kill me or any Man at her Husband's Occupation before I shou'd be able to make her Hide gentle Vent Nay thou wilt find a piece of tough Currier's work of her but however were not my heart ingaged to the dear Charming Carrol her Mony wou'd make me aim at her but I 'll help thee all I can Bon. I thank thee tho' I have had but small incouragement from Widows yet I 'll have one fling more but who comes here Enter Hickman and Aminadab Sneaksby Hick Truly Mr. Aminadab I think I find an alteration in my self already Amin. Nay I told you if you give your mind to 't you 'd be a ●entleman presently Vent How 's this let 's stand aside a little Bon. I believe he 's about to turn himself into a Gentleman to win the Widow Vent And what a Tutor he has pick'd out to instruct him Hick Methinks I love the name of a Gentleman a great deal better than I did Amin. But can you find in your heart to lend a Gentleman 20 Pieces upon his word Hick Humh no no it is not so far gone upon me yet Amin. Oh but it must I know it a Citizen can never be a Gentleman till he has lent all or almost all his Mony to Gentlemen Why when I was a Gentleman first my Mony did so burn in my Pocket that it cost me all that ever I cou'd borrow or steal from my Mother Hick But Mr. Aminadab a Man may be a Country Gentleman and keep his Mony may he not Amin. But you see the Widow is removed from the Country into the City to avoid those Country Gentleman that made their Addresses to her I tell you you must be a Courtier Hick But I can see no Courtiers but what are apter to borrow than lend Mony Amin. Ay those that are bred or born Courtiers I grant you But to come to 't at your Years Hick Why I can the sooner learn then what is 't that makes a Courtier Amin. Why I 'le tell you in brief as my Tutors told me Speak nothing that you mean perform nothing that you promise pay nothing that you owe