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A20075 Penny-vvis[e] pound foolish or, a Bristovv diamond, set in t[wo] rings, and both crack'd Profitable for married men, pleasant for young men, a[nd a] rare example for all good women. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1631 (1631) STC 6516; ESTC S105255 28,178 46

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PENNY-VVIS● POVND FOOLISH Or a BRISTOVV Diamond set in t●● Rings and both Crack'd Profitable for Married men pleasant for young men a 〈…〉 rare example for all good Women At London Printed by A. M. for Edward Blackmore and are to 〈◊〉 sould in Pauls Church-yard at the signe of the Augell 1631. To the Reader THe Title of this Booke is Printed in many a mans face Some walke early into the Fieldes to Gleane Eares of Corne who before the Haruest of their Wit was in scattered abroad whole Sheaffes Wealth is not regarded till we come to Beggerie Beauty an enticing Bauin-fire to warme fooles and not sette by when t is out Nay life it selfe knowes not her owne pretious value till Sicknesse layes it in the Ballance How many Courtiers may heere see their pictures How many braue Souldiers How many Citizens How many Countrey-men All which were drunk● with pleasures when they swumme in the full Sea of them but now at a low ebbe count a glasse of colde water more wholesome than Healthes in Canarie before The lauish and sla●ish spending of pounds begets but sorrow the True sauing of a Penny buyes Wisedome In these few papers is the Map of the whole world London Bristow and Venice are here the Figures of all other Citties In all other Citties are Curtizans and all Curtizans haue Idolatrous fooles to Adore them The Discourse is hid like our Ladies heads in Taffatie purse-nets vnder the Masques of Ferdinand and Annabell Their Liues and their Loues are enclosed in this Nut-shell Which if you Crack without hurting your Teeth the Kernell is sweet in the Chewing The Apples pluck'd from this little Tree may serue to turne in the Fire in your Christmasse Nights and not much amisse all the Winter after So fall to and farewell The Excellent worth of a Penny A Penny is a small piece of Siluer and therefore soonest spent a Penny is a very faithfull Messenger the best errand it goes vpon is when a Rich man sends his commendations by it to a Beggar The Rich-man giues and the Poore-man takes no the Poore-man giues and the Rich-man takes for the Prayers of the Poore encrease the blessings of the Rich. Poore Penny how much good therefore art thou able to doe nay how much good doest thou daily and hourely when those that are thy betters and a thousand times beyond thee in substance and estate will not part from a far●●hing A Penny is the Doale for which a wretched creature cries Good Master bestowe a Penny vpon mee hee does not begge Two-pence but a Penny a single Penny A Penny will content a Carier when a pound will not satisfie a Curmudgeon Land in olde times no doubt was sold good cheape for men vsed to say They bought it with their Penny But in these dayes the case is altred quoth Ployden Law hath raught Land-buyers 〈◊〉 speake another Language A Penny had wont to pay for a Pot of happy Ale but now a Pot of Al● defies the company of a Penny And yet for all this a Penny will be a braue companion still olde men loue it and are therefore called Penny-Fathers Trades-men loue it for they cry Take it for a Pennymore Water-men loue it for they aske but a Penny to crosse the Water and when a man hath not a Penny in his purse then he sweares hee hath not one crosse about him So that as a Penny is the least Crosse that a man can carry there can be no greater crosse than for a man to goe without a Penny A Blacke Wench if she be Penny-white passes for current money where a Faire Wench that hath no pence shall be nayled vp for a counter●et A Penny then being in such extraordinary request for the generall good it does to so many how much more ought wee to make of it when for a Penny a man may buy Wit That Market does now begin And how much Wit a Merchant had for so small a piece of Siluer lend your Attention and the History of that Penny-bargain shall be worth at lest two-pence to any man that heares it Penny-wise Pound-foolish Or a Bristow Diamond set in two Rings and both crackt IN the Citty of Bristow not much aboue two twelu● moneths past did liue a Merchant in the bra●ery of his youth in the heigth of full fortunes and in the excellency of all perfection both for a ●●mely proportion of body and vnmatchable ornaments of minde Hee had all those things which in this world make a man to be counted happy and wanted none of those the lacke of which teach men to beleeue they are miserable One onely Blessing was absent whose possession would haue set a Crowne vpon all the other And that was the mariage of some delicate faire young woman to so wealthy and hansome a young man This Gentlemans name will wee call Ferdinand his true both Christian name and surname for diuers rea●ons shall be concealed And albeit he might haue had in 〈◊〉 the choise of many Maydens both answerable to him●elfe in state and beauty that Citty being as richly stored with faire and sweet proportioned women as any be in the world yet M. Ferdinand vsing often by way of Trafficke in Merchandize to repaire to London ha●pened to cast his eye on the most beautifull face of a very worthy and very wealthy Citizens daughter of London her name being Annabell but how she was called otherwise her succeeding fortunes forbid mee to discouer The parents and friends of this beauteous Damozell who was called the starre of this Citty a● well ●or her delicacie of body as for modesty giuing way to a Match so suitable to their owne desires and their daughters liking little wooing needed so that the marriage was not so ioyfully on all sides appointed as it was with pompous ceremony of friends inuited Feastings Masques Dauncing and Reuelling sole●●●zed No couple through the whole Citty of London were held so happy as these beauteous payre Ferdinand and Annabell drew all eyes after them wheresoeuer they went But it was not enough for Ferdinand to be thus followed with praises in London nor to haue his delicate young wife gazed at and enuied by the curious Dames of this Citty No there was a fire of Uaine-glory in him to haue all the eyes of Bristow behold what gallant Prize he had taken at London nor was the beauty of his faire Bed-fellow behinde-hand with him in the same pride and ambition Her longings that way were as great as his Their desires thus spreading the same wing the parents and friends loath to loose two ●uch Iewels yet necessity snatching them from them Away doe they hasten to Bristow Wonder there lookes vpon them Ioy and ten thousand welcomes embrace them It was hard to tell whether the Merchants or that Towne did think him more happy in being Master of such a treasure as so delicate a Wife or whether the braue Dames of that Citty did hold her more fortunate in
which ran-a-ground at London is in Bristow fetchd off safely from all shelfes and sandes a harlot vndid his fortunes there a wife restores them here His former Riots are no turned to good h●sbandry his feasting in ●auernes to a ciuill entertainement in his owne house his rearing-b●●●s companyes to a braue society of Merchants and his roaging beggerly noyses of scraping Fidlers to the most excellent musicke of sweet and harmlesse stories told betwéene him and his wife or els to the cunning touch of her hand vpon the stringes of her Lute guided by the ecchoes of a rauishing voice in both of which shée exceeded euen skilfull Musitians What woundes hée got in his estate by borrowing hée now cured by paying euery penny so that vpon his word hee might either in Bristow or London haue taken vp more money then many that caryed their heads higher in the Aire and more proudly ●et on the Stage of opinion could procure vpon their bondes Abundance filled his bagges rich Merchandise his Cellers and Warehouses Cupb●rds of Plate waited on his Table and both Men-seruants and Mayd-seruants on him and his wife superfluitie of all wordly blessings thus casting his youthfull mind into a surfet hee began not onely to be weary of Bristow but of his owne naturall countrey burning with an immoderate and vnquenchable desire to trauell beyond the Seas to come acquainted with the manners fashions and conditions of for●en nations The bellows that kindled these flames within him were the praises giuen to him by young Merchants and gallants that had trauelled of the delicate faces of other women abroad of their queint dressings cu●ious attires and most bewitching complements our english Ladies and Merchants wiues of London being but course creatures dowdyes and doddipolls either to the Germaine Frow the french pretty pailying Madamoiselle or the cher●ylipd wantoneyed plu●● Italian Bona 〈◊〉 and besides these Spurres of longings clapd to his heeles to set him going his wife albeit a delicate creasure began after this frenzy of dreaming after other women though hée neuer saw them not to seeme s● hansome in his eye as shee was wont or if she did lett our owne pasture be neuer so fatt neuer so full neuer such wholesome feeding wee thinke our neighbours better though farre worse As in Tauernes when fault is found in the wine though there be none in it If the drawer goes but to change it and brings the same againe O cryes all the company now drawer thou hast gon right indeed so that the sick part about vs is our opinion t is our iudgement is poisned Ferdinand therefore being thus as it were with childe to sée fashions abroad could finde no ease in minde or body vntill he fell into Trauell and for that purpose he fraighted a Ship with rich and vendible commodities to be sent to Venice and himselfe to goe as Chiefe in her His wife was much against his going shee feard her bi●d whom shee had kept so long getting now out of the Cage would fly shee knew not whither and grow wilde But he shewing many reasons for his venturing in person as that it was hard trusting Factors his gaines might be trebled by his being there the eye of the Master fatts the Horse It would besides the double profit returne to his minde an infinite pleasure to behold other Cities other people and conuerse with other Merchants his knowledge would hereby growe perfect his experience be con●●rmed and that little knowledge he hath in the Italian tongue be much betterd his ambition hauing euer be●ene to be cunning in that language These reasons and others being put into the ballance weighed downe her feares and so she yeilded at length to let him goe Ferdinand hauing winde and water as swift as his owne wishes in a short time arriued at Venice one of the wonders for a City in the world as hauing the foundation layd in and the whole frame of the building raised out of the Mediteranean Sea His commodities being excellent good and excéeding rich dwelt not long in the shippe But on Siluer pullies were drawne into Uenetian-merchants h●uses who payd him downe for them presently so that his purse was soone full but his eyes and longings empty or inioying the Rarities of that renowned Citie Some few dayes made him Master of them all The R●alta was as familiar to him as the Exchange ●n Cornehill is to Merchants or the new Bar●e in the Strand is to Courtiers and Lawyers Saint Markes Church hée knew as well as Paules St●●ple and the Murano where all the Ven●c●● glasses are made hee visited more often then Vintners doe the glasse 〈◊〉 in Broadst●●ete to furnish then s●lues there with these brittle car ow●ing bowles The Arsenale which is a Store house to arme both men and gallyes with all warlike prouision by mony and friendship he went into with desire and came forth with admiration The many thousands of bridges which cr●sse euery streete through the whole Citie put him into as much wonder as London bridge did a Northren man who at first gaping at it swore hée thought in his con●●●ence it cost aboue vortie shillings His eyes could neuer haue béene bloodshotten had they onely fed vpon these obiects as it was no hurt for him to l●●ke vpon wood and stone and workemen nor to haue beene caryed in one of their Uenetian G●ndeloes rowing vp and downe the riuer that embraces the Citie called the Grand Canale None of these inticing ●●wers caryed po●po●son in their sent No As before in London hee was insnar● by one English whore so here found hée ten thousand Uenetian ●●urtizan● the worst of them all h●u●ng ●●r●ery enough in her eyes and beha●tor to inchant him With the butterfly hée flew from herbe to he● be and from 〈◊〉 to weed but in the end alighted vpon one which he liked ab●ue all the rest Here he stayed Here hee set vp his rest It was a creature sufficiently faire ha● she bene indifferently good and resonably-good shée might haue béene but that the custome of the countrey which authorizeth Brothelry makes her beleeue it is not sinne in her so to sell and prostitute her body and in her body her soule You talke of the p●ore Cat-a-mountaines in Turnebull who venture vpon the pikes of damnation for singlemoney and you wonder at the fethered Estridges in Westmin●ter Strand Bloomsbury c. how they can liue where these Venetian Madonaes carry the ports of Ladyes liue in houses faire enough to entertaine Lords Into such a lodging was Fer●●n●nd● receiued vpon such a Curtizan did he fasten his lus●full affection No gold was spared to warme her white hands with the fires of such sparckling Sunne-beames No musick keepe dumb by her whose voice shée knew would entice him to heare it This Strumpets name was Liuia Ferramonti well-descended and therefore taught by her education how to winne and how to hold fast when once shée had a man in her nets Her behauiour was pleasing