the Curiosity of our first Parents contracted and Transmitted to all their Posterity If living Incognito has taken away the Cause or the Effect you have Reason to rejoyce in your own Happiness and charitably to recommend it to others But tho Curiosity was never my Discease as is seen in the Picture I make of my Self and which perhaps I may send you hereafter I have had many of another sort I can reckon up Seven But by Living Incognito they are much lessen'd if not quite câ—ed I am willing to take your charitable Example discovering the Nature of the Diseases and their Remedies which I can give you more at large if you know any Persons they may be useful to I had a quality of repenting of every thing I did that answer'd not my Expectation but now I find to be happy one must repent of nothing but sin I was troubled with an Importunate desire of having all the Useless â—nd Impertinent things that are thought necessary for our comfort and â—upport in this Life but now I know there 's nothing can support and â—omfort us or is worth desiring but Gods Favour I us'd to have recourse in all my Disappointments to vain hopes â—nd when one design fell I raised another and still prop'd 'em up with â—pe which in the end I found so deceitful I now renounce 'em all â—d hope for nothing but Heaven I have been often Transported with Ioy at what happen'd to my â—lf and Friends supposing it for our good when the event has proved â—ite contrary This has shew'd me how weak our â—ight and Judgâ—ents are and to be sure to be in the right is to rejoyce in nothing but â—ods Glory I was much carried to the Love of Pleasure tho it never gave me â—ue Satisfaction I never found the Pleasure I proposed so certain as â—e pains that went to procuring it so that I found it surest to take â—leasure in nothing but the good success of ones Labour I have had very busie thoughts and been much taken up with studyâ—g ways of exalting my self and making a considerable figure in â—e World and now find by Experience they only are truly Consideâ—able that study nothing but the good of others My want of Courage has Subjected me to many vain fears which â—ade me uneasie but prevented no mischiefs But I perceive a deceitful â—eart the Source of all Evils that now I fear nothing but my own â—eceitful heart Thus you see what is got by Living Incognito 't is there one finds both Health and Pleasure I am Your c LETTER IV. Proving There is nothing New under the Sun Madam SInce you honour me so much to permit me to entertain you weekly or oftner with Accounts of what Progress I make in The Art of Living Incognito I shall be so free as to tell ye I suppose you expect that part of this Art shou'd be discoveries of something New For Nature is so much pleased with diversity as it seems a kind of Novelty that she hath imprinted a desire of it in all things here below This I proved in my Essay on the Athenian Itch which will never be quite cured till Men are possess'd There is nothing New for whilst there is they 'l be Itching after it Then seeing I told your Ladyship that my Art of Living Incognito wou'd consist of a Thousand uncommon which looks as if my meaning was NEW Subjects for fear you shou'd apprehend me in that sence 't is time now that I tell ye that by Uncommon I did not mean NEW but only Subjects that were Curious or very rarely handled No Madam it had been a great Presumption in me to have pretended to any thing New when Solomon tells us There is nothing NEW under the Sun a Eccl. 1. 9. And Dr. Winter adds Nor in the Moon neither a Picture of this Mutable World of whose encrease tho we have every Year NEW Ones a full dozen Yet all is but the Old One over and over Even that which we call the New Year is no more than the old one run out and turn'd up again like an hour glass to run out the same Spring Summer Autumn Winter Months and Days as before The Sun returneth every morning to the same place he came from with like form and self-same substance The Days and Nights pass by course and ever continue of like Essence The Fields are every year deek'd with the same Flowers like pleasant Herbs and the very same Accidents yearly Nothing is the Object of our Senses but what is ordinary and familiar We see nothing strange and New what we do to day that we do to morrow and every day What Men call a Discovery is a meer Banter upon our Understanding For my Lord Bacon in his Book of Aphorisms proves that which we call New and Upstart to be the truest Antiquity And the Sage Common-wealth of the Lycians heretofore ordained That all those who should propose any Novelty in matter of Law should deliver it in publick with an Halter about their Necks to the end that if their Propositions were not found to be good and profitable the Authors thereof should be strangled in the place The Antients held it ominous to pretend to any New Form even of Matters of Indifferency When Darius had altered the Fashion of his Sword which used to be Persian into the form of Macedonian in the year immediately before the fought with Alexander the Chaldees or South-sayers prophesied That into what Fashion Darius had altered his Sword so Time wou'd reduce his State and that the Persian Glory was drawing unto her last Period by subjecting her self unto the Soveraign of Macedon Which Prediction was soon confirm'd by the next years Conquest And as the Ancients held it ominous to pretend to any New Form so 't is as clear in the Instance I gave in the Sun Moon c. and other parts of the Creation That Thnigs here below seem NEW to many and are so miscall'd which in themselves are Old and known so to sounder Judgments 'T is true Mr. T tells us in his Treatise of Pre-existence that Philosophy it self had never been improved had it not been for NEW Opinions Nay the very Mob since the War with France are turn'd Athenians too and you can scarce meet a Porter in the Street but he 'll question ye What NEWS And some take as much pleasure to spread what they call News as others do to hear it R. B. in his book of Extraordinary Adventures tells us of a Barber who kept Shop at the end of the Suburbs call'd Pyreum in Athens he had no sooner heard of the great discomfiture of the Athenians in Sicily from a certain Slave fled from thence out of the Field but leaving his Shop at six and sevens he ran directly into the City to carry the Tydings fresh and new For fear some other might the Honour win And he too late or second shou'd come in Now upon reporting
if we seek to out-face the one or enter into the other we forthwith become blind or burnt So odorous Flowèrs Being held too near the Censor of our Sense Render not pure nor so sincere their Powers As being held a little distance thence In a word 't is ill dancing for Nimble Wits on the Precipices of Dangerous Doctrines for tho they escape by their Agility others encouraged by their Examples may be brought to destruction To leave the Curiosity of our Town Wits and Conjurers those Iunior Devils that wear the Impostor's Badge I 'le next visit the Philosopher and his Curiosity is such that he has no sooner read a Leaf in Seneca but he 'd be a Privy Counsellor to the Stars a Member of the Athenian Society a Resolver of all Questions And now Physicks and Metaphysicks have at ye Oh how he loves to search into the Secrets of Nature But which of 'em all can tell me the Longitude at Sea or the Reason of the Flux and Reflux of that unquiet Element 'T is true Cowley tells us Philosophers are so very curious that Nature's great Works no distance can obscure No smallness her near Objects can secure They 've taught the Curious Sight to press Into thâ— privatest Recess Of her Interceptable Littleness They 've learn'd to read her smallest Hand And have begun her deepest sense to understand Fye fie Cowley Why do you bauter these Philosophers thus For you 're very sensible the more they know the more Ignorant they know they are But now I think on 't Dissimulation is State Policy and Poets set out themselves as Aristotle did his Books not to be understood at first sight You must own Mr. Cowley tho you flat er these Virtuoso's that even Diogenes Crates peer'd not far into the Secrets of Nature and that our Modern Philosophers such as Discartes Legrand c. knew as little as they Nay there 's the Royal Society tho compos'd of the best and most Knowing Men in the World can't tell us why the Loadstone always turns to the North Why a Lyon trembles at the sight of a Cock Even the great Basil was puzled about the Body of a little Pismire No Madam as Curious as the Philosophers are they have not yet attained a perfect Understanding of the smallest Flower * See my Essay on knowing our friends in Heaven p. 34. and why the Grass should rather be Green than Red They 'll affirm That an Ague is Witchcraft that Air is but Water rarified that there 's another World of Men and Creatures with Cities and Towns in the Moon That the Sun is lost for it is but a Cleft in the Lower Heavens through which the Light of the Highest shines Oh senseless Curiosity for Men to waste their Time in such iâ—lle Dreams Or cou'd these Magi prove what they say yet still they Live in the Dark For what is all they know by their most curious Searches compar'd with what they know not They have perhaps Artificial Cunning but how many Curiosities be framed by the least Creatures in Nature unto which the Industry of the most Curious Virtuoso's doth not attain But I 'le leave 'em in a fond Pursuit of they know not what And next step to the Chymist to see how modest I shall find him Modest he 's more curious than the former and to as little purpose He hath already melted many a fair Mannor in Crucibles and turn'd them into Smoak and all to cure the Itch in his working Brain he has near ruin'd himself and Family yet grows more Curious at every new disappointment he can't rest with the Wit he has so dearly bought No! he will make Nature asham'd of her long Sleep when Art who is but a Step Dame shall do more thâ— she in her best Love to Mankind ever could Oh brave Chymist Well sure Self-conceitedness is the Sin in Fashion 't is a hard matter not to think well of our selves For He yes He can extract the Souls of all things by his Art call all the Vertues and Miracles of the Sun into a Temperate Furnace teach Dull Nature what her own Forces are He 's sure there iâ— the Rich Peru the Golden Mines Great Solomon's Ophir But Solomon was sailing to it Three Years yet he 'll reach it in Three Months ay in Three Days for he 'll ne'er sleep till he has this Art of Angels this Divine Secret the Philosophers Stone for he thinks it Tradition comes not from Men but Spirits What a Mess of Vain Curiosity I might add of utter Impossibility iâ— this But no more than Ev'ry Chymia in London pretends to Yet surely to Alchimy this Right is due that it may be compared to the Husbandman whereof Aesop makes the Fable that when he died told unto his Sons that he had left unto them Gold buried under Ground in his Vineyard and they digged all the Ground and Gold they found none but by reason of digging and stirring the Mold about the Roâ—ts of their Vines they had a good Vintage the Year following So assuredly the search and stir to make Gold hath brought to light a great number of good and useful Experiments if Men cou'd be contented with 'em but they are not but wou'd still know more that 's their Sin And it still finds 'em out as is evident by the Punishment they always have in being disappointed of that Pearl they sold all they had to purchase Oh Egregious Folly for Men to spend their Moneys in such Idle Disquisitions But some Men think nothing out of their Reach I shall instance in those that built or would have built the Tower of Babel whose Top might reach to Heaven It is not likely they could be so simple as to think really they should reach to Heaven by it they might think they should be sâ—me what nearer perchance and however get a name among men in after Ages that they that built such a Tower were somewhat above men But confusion was their reward And as to the Art of flying I have no reason to be against it if discoverable by humane industry I have reap'd the pleasures of it in my dreams more then once and I thought no pleasure comparable to it though but in a dream Yet I doubt it may have somewhat of the Babylonish presumption in the eyes of God and that such high curiosities are so far from being useful that they may be dangerous Madam I might go on in quest after Longitude Diving Engines the Perpetual Motion and all Projectors by what Name or Title soever dignifi'd or distinguish'd but their Number 's endless so I 'le search no longer nor spend any more Time in such Vain Speculations lesâ— unawares I shou'd be guilty of that Vain Curiosity which my Cell has cured and that I ha' been all this while reprehending Not but amongst the vast Numbers of Projectors some of their Maggots have taken yet I do say the only valuable Projection that ever I met
it demonstrates that Dispair is still more so and never to be entertain'd even at our latest Breath for our Lord has declared at whatsoever time a sinner shall repent he will receive him But I would have no Man put off his Repentance From this Minute I bid sâ—rewel to Covetousness Pride Ambition c. because God is merciful for he that puts off his Reâ—entance to another Day as he has one day the less to repent in so he has the loss Inclination for such a work he that defers Repentance to a Death bed 't is a Thousand to one if he repents at all for besides his aversion to such a work his distemper may seize his Brain or he may dye suddenly and for that Reason Iâ— not run the hazard of a Death-bed Repentance but do from this Minute bid farewell to 〈◊〉 Pride Ambition c. and all my beloved Sins that so I may die with a good Conscience and My Reason for making my Will have nothing to trouble me when I 'm leaving the World And in order to this I have made my Will bequeathed my Soul into the hands of a Merciful God And have as you 'l bear anon given orders about my Funeral And thus your Lady 〈◊〉 sâ—s what a Melancholy thing it is for a Man to I 'm here burying my self in Effigie Write of his own Death especially if heâ— in Health and strength for methinks now I 'm as 't were Burying my self in 〈◊〉 I mean attending my own Corpse to the Grave 'T is the last Office of love 〈◊〉 a Friend and sure I am I can follow the Corpse of none except Valeria that I love better I live now where the The weekly Bill of Mortality never less than 200. in the most Healthful-Times Bells can scarce solemnize the Funeral of any Person but that I knew him or knew that he was my Neighbour and when these Bells tell me that now one and now another is buryed must not I acknowledge that they have the Correction due to me and paid 〈◊〉 Debt that I owe. In the most healthful Times Two hundred and upwards w◠〈◊〉 constant weekly Tribute paid to Mortality in London A large Bill 〈◊〉 it must be disâ—ged Can one City spend according to this weekly rate and not be Bankâ— of People At leastwise must not my Shot be call'd for to make up the Reckoning Seven Young Men yearly taken out of Athens to be devour'd by the Monster Minotaur When only Seven young 〈◊〉 and those chosen by 〈◊〉 were but yearly taken out of Athens to be devoured by the Monster Minotaur the whole City was in a constant fright Children for themselves and Parents for their Children yea their escaping of the first was but an introduction to the next Tears Lottery Were the Dwellers and Lodgers in London-weekly to cast Lots who shou'd make up this 200 how wou'd every one be afrighted Now None regard it my security concludes the afore said Number will consist of Infants and Old-Folk Few Men of middle-Age and amidst them surely not my self But oh is not this putting the Evil-day far from me the ready way to bring it the nearest to me The Lot is Weekly drawn tho not by me for me I am therefore concern'd seriously to provide left that Death's Prize prove my Blank for the Were the Dwellers in London weekly to cast Lotts who shou'd makeup the Bill of Mortality they wou'd be all afrighted Bells tell me as I hinted-before that now one and now another is buried and must not I acknowledge that they have the Correction due to me and paid the Debt that I owe 1. Hark! how chimes the Passing-Bell There 's no Musick to a Knell All the other Sounds we hear Flatter and but Cheat our Ear 2. This doth put us still in mind That our Flesh must be resign'd And a general silence made The World be Tenant to a Shade 3. This Bell calls our Holy Grone A loud Eccho to this Tone He that on his Pillow lies Half Embalm'd before he Dies Carries like a Sheep his Life To meet the Sacrificers Knife And for Eternity is prest Sad Bell-weather to the rest But is this Sound a Passing-Bell Then to Eternity farewell Poor Soul whose doom one Hour shall show Eternal Bliss or Endless Woe If Virtues Laws thou hast despis'd How wou'd that Virtue now be priz'd Or say thou didst in our loose Age On her forsaken side engage Wouldst thou the dear Remembrance now For the Worlds Monarchy fore-go What other Medicine canst thou 〈◊〉 T' asswage the FEVER in thy Mind Now ' waken'd Conscience speaks at large And Envious Fiends enhance the Charge Let the Bold Atheist now draw near And try thy drooping Heart to chear His briskest Wine and Wit to thee Will now alike insipid be In Deaths arrest the Hector's Sword As little Service can afford Who hopes for rescue here will fail And the grim Sergeant takes no Bail Once hearing one of these Passing-Bells Ring I pray'd that the Sick-man might have through Christ. 〈◊〉 safe Voyage to his long Home Afterwards The Tolling of the Bell has through mistake made me Pray for Persons that were departed this life I understood that the Party was Dead some Hours before and it seems in some Places of London the tolling of the Bell is but a Preface of course to the ringing it out Bells are better silent than thus telling Lies What is this but giving a false Alarm to Mens Devotions to make them to be ready armed with their Prayers for the assistance of such who have already fought the good fight and gotten the Conquest Not to say that Mens Charity herein may be suspected of Superstition in praying for the Dead However my Heart thus poured out was not spilt on the Ground My Prayers too late â—o do him good came soon enough to speak my good will What I freely tendered God took according to the Integrity of my Intention The Party I hope is in Abraham's Mens Charity herein may be suspected of Superstition in praying for the Dead Bosom and my Prayers are returned into my own But ' tho sometimes the Bells misâ—ad my Devotion and I may pray perhaps for a Dead-Neighbour yet Passing-Bells are of great use for The PASSING-BELL ringing calls me into God's Church to hear and learn and to pray for the departing Soul the Grave being digged warns me to prepare for Sickness and Death and passing by the Tombs of my dead Friends puts me in mind that e're long I must come to ' em Having these frequent warnings of my own Death I often think with my self What Use we should make of the Passing-Bell what Disease I wou'd be best contented to die of none please me The Stone the Cholick terrible as expected intollerable when felt The Palsey is Death before Death The Consumption a flattering Disease cozening Men into hope of long life at the last Gasp.
these unwellcome Tydings there was a great stir within the City the People assembled to the Market Place search was made for the Author of this Rumor Hereupon the Barber was haled before the Body of the People and being examined hereof he knew not so much as the Name of the Party from whom he had heard the News Upon which the whole Assembly were so moved to Anger that they cryed Away with the Villain set the Rascal upon the Rack have him to the Wheel who had devised this Story of his own fingers ends The Wheel of Torture was brought and the Barber was tormented upon it In the mean while there came certain News of that Defeat and thereupon the Assembly broke up leaving the Barber racked out at length upon the Wheel till it was late in the Evening at which time he was let loose yet was no sooner at liberty but he must enquire News of the Executioner what he had heard abroad of the General Nicias and in what manner he was slain So that Men have such a hankering after Novelties that they 'd even die to see something New and this Itch after News is become as General as 't is Fallacious The Poor Taylor that works in a Carret can scarce forbear leaving his Goose to run to a Coffee-house to ask if the Pope be recovered A constant Companion to this House going in all haste for a Midwife or to save the Life of a Friend was dying must call in and drink at least two Dishes of Coffee and smoak his Pipe that he may know how the World goes abroad let it go how it will at home Oh what precious Time do the London Coffee-houses devour and therefore 't is Dr. Wilde tells us News and New Things do the whole World bewitch But by your leave Dr. you may be mistaken for all are not born or live in Athens tho to their shame most are sick of the Athenian Diseâ—se in a desire to hear and seek News which they never find For Doctor I shall prove anon there is no such thing neither do they reflect upon what they hear for they seek only News for News sake and make it their business to go to the Wits * By Covent-Garden C ffee-house to Dicks to Ionathan's to Bridge's to Ioe's to Smith's to pick up News and then to report it to the next they meet and to be sure it loses nothing by carrying But there are some that were never tainted with this Athenian Itch. I have heard my Father often say he never was at a Coffee-house in his whole Life But he 's the only Instance of that kind that I ever knew yet I cant think him a New Instance for doubtless there be Men of the same Principle There be no Humane Actions that we see now a days but what have been practised in times past Yet I must own that before the War the Coffee-house was a place whither people only came after Toping all day to purchase at the expence of their last Penny the Repute of Sober Companions for Coffee is a Sober Liquor but now they are the Congress of Rome Venice Spain Geneva Amsterdam and are flockt to by all as the Mint of Intelligence Hither the Idle Vulgar come and go Carrying a Thousand Rumors to and fro With stale Reports some list'ning Ea s do fill Some coyn fresh Tales in words that vary still Lies mixt with Truth all in the Telling grows And each Relator adds to what he knows All Acts of Heav'n and Earth it boldly views And thro the spacious World enquires for NEWS The Coffee-house where News is so much enquir'd for is no better than a Nursery for training up the smaller Fry of Virtuosi in confident tatling But en't it strange that any shou'd be so mad as to run from Coffee house to Coffee-house to pick up News when in reality there is no such thing For what has the Name of News which like the Athenians of old they so Itch after is no other as my Poem shews than newly augmented Lyes Relations soâ—nd diversly as the Air of Affection carries them and sometimes in a whole Volley of News we shall not find one true Report and therefore 't was the Advice of a Father to his Son Let the greatest part of the News thou hearest be the least part of what thou believest lest the greatest part of what thou believest be the least part of what is true And where Lies are admitted for News the Father of Lies will not easily be excluded Perhaps what they miscall News may have some Ground of Truth for its beginning but being tost from one to another it is buried and lost in the multitude of New Additions and there 's nothing we can warrant for Pure News But then you 'll object Those Additions are New No Madam Terrence tells ye the contrary by saying Nihil est jam Dictum quod non Dictum sit Prius Nothing is spoken now but what has been said in former times And that Philosopher Renaudots tells us our very thoughts tho they be innumerable yet if they were Registered would be all found ancient Thento what purpose do we hunt for News Tis'true those Papers that pretend to News tell us sometimes of a Kings being beheaded and what is King Iames's Abdication but a Parallel Case of an Earl's Cutting his own Throat and then flinging the Razor out of the Window of the penitent Death of some great Lord of a Bloody Fight of a Lover hanging himself of a Virgin Ravisht of a Wise Alderman and now and then of a Woman C ding her Husband c. But these tho Real Truths are no New Things but what we have seen over and over Not but I must own if there were a New Thing under the Sun the Author of the Flying Post wou'd find it out But he 's an honest Gentleman and writes nothing but Truth and Truth is always the same and if his Papers be always the same what News can there be in them Or say his Papers were all Invention which comes neareâ—l to News of any thing that is not so yet still they were void of News for Invention is nothing else for the most part but a Simple Imitation in Deeds or Words So that the Flying Post Post-Man and Post-Boy do Weekly labour in vain for all their Pretence to News is no better than an Old Design to enrich the Bookseller which I don't tell as a Piece of News but as a thing acknowledg'd by ev'ry Hawker But tho we are disappointed of News where we most expect it yet whoever is troubled with Impertinent Fancies or wou'd hear ridiculous Storie â—e need but step to the Coffee-house and here the several Humors of the pretended News-mongers is worth Remark One begins ye the Story of a Sea-Fight and tho he never was so far as Wapping yet having Pyrated the Names of Ships and Captains he tells you Wonders that he waded up to the middle