of the same author but with accustomable lyes common and ordinary with these false Fryers For which cause I would not omit them 26 And thus thou seest gentle Reader how their false miracles haue bene discouered and laid open to the sight of the Sunne as well as their other trumperies But as blind Bartimaeus saw no more in the cleare Sunne-shine then in a gloomy day nor at noone-day then at mid-night so we are to thinke that the silly seduced world had so lost the vse of reason was become so sottish and senslesse so blind and brutish in matters of religion that none of these grosse abuses though committed before their eyes were once perceiued by them For it is well knowne how the heady multitude would breake forth into plaine murmuring and mutinie against those that durst say that that which they held to be a miracle was but a iuggling tricke of a quacksaluing mountebanke albeit it had bene discouered by the Magistrate of the place Nay they haue growne to harder termes euen to breake open the prison doores where these companions were kept in hold yea after the knauery was detected And here we are to remember that which I touched before how that that which should haue serued them as a crystall wherein they might haue seene their cunning conueyance was so handled by them that it was a meanes to keepe them still in their former darknesse And as they were as blind as beetles so were they as deafe as dore nailes for we know what a siluer trumpet Martin Luther was to say nothing of Wickleffe Iohn Hus Ierome of Prague and the like his predecessours and yet the shrill sound thereof spent it selfe and vanished away in the ayre and was neuer able to pierce their eares of a long time they were so thicke of hearing But in the end the Lord who had sent this his trumpeter charmed these deafe adders in such sort that he caused them to lend their patient eare But how may some say could churchmen maintaine theÌ„selues since the sounding of this alarme especially since the coming of Antichrist was proclaimed through the world and that little children could see their knaueries and touch them as it were with their fingers For answer whereunto let posteritie know how euer they may wonder to heare it that they haue kept their kitchins hot and fed themselues fat by other meanes For when they perceiued that the truth of God made open warre against them and that it got ground of them by little and little winning from them now one peece now another they shewed themselues no lesse cruell and currish fell and furious against those that stood in defence thereof if once they fell into their clouches then the Lion or Tygre nay then the Lionesse doth against those that rob her of her whelpes as shall be declared in the Chapter following CHAP. XL. Wherein is declared how that after posteritie shall haue wondered at the long continued folly of Popish practises and abuses it wil further wonder how the open discouering of them should haue cost so many men their liues who were persecuted by the Cleargie and will iudge this story no lesse strange then sundry recorded by Herodotus IN the time of our Ancestors whilest the folly of the former abuses was in the ruffe the Cleargie not content to be reuerenced and adored of the poore people to haue their purses at command when they thought good and to terrifie them with their excommunications came to this passe euen to set their feete in their neckes not as it is commonly said by a figuratiue speech but really and indeed Nay one of their Popes was not ashamed to set his foote in the Emperours necke For it is a knowne and famous history neither hath it bin forgotten by those that haue written the liues of Popes how that Alexander the third hauing commanded the Emperour Fredericke to prostrate himselfe and aske him pardon for his offence before a multitude of people in Saint Marks Church at Venice the Emperour at his commaund kneeled downe whereupon this gentle Pope setting his foote vpon his throte or as some say in his neck said It is written thou shalt walk vpon the Aspe and the Basiliske the yong Lion and the Dragon shalt thou tread vnder thy feete The Emperour highly offended at this so great contempt and outrage answered I do not this to thee but to Saint Peter Then he treading vpon him the second time said â—oth to me and to Saint Peter Now here it is to be noted that the chiefe cause of this Emperours coming was that he might be absolued from the Popes excommunication Further we reade how that the Venetians sent an Embassadour to Pope Clement the fift called Francis Dandalus to intreate for absolution from the Popes excommunication for he had excommunicated them againe and againe and cursed them with bell booke and candle and not content to thunder out all sorts of Ecclesiasticall censures had caused the Croysado to be published against them in Italy But he refused to absolue them till that the Embassadour in way of honorable satisfaction had put a dogges coller about his necke and therewith had crept vpon all foure the length of the great hall in the pallace of Auinion for which fact he was euer after at Venice called dog The said Pope walking vpon a time through the citie of Bogenci vpon the riuer Loyre in great pomp had amongst others for his attendants or rather seruing-men and lackeys the King of England and the King of France one vpon his right hand and another on his left one of them leading his horse by the bridle We reade also how the foresaid Emperour Fredericke attended vpon Pope Adrian the fourth this mans predecessor like a blew-coate at least that he held him the stirrop when he lighted off his horse by the same token that in lieu of this so great humility he got nothing but a frumpe for his labour and that by the Pope himselfe for holding the left stirrop in stead of the right With which flout the Emperour being somwhat moued said I was neuer brought vp in such a trade and thou art the first on whom I haue thus attended And what arrogant speeches vsed Boniface the eight to King Philip the faire when he made no bones to tell him that by reason of his disobedience and contumacy the kingdome of France was fallen into the lapse and deuolued to the Church of Rome The said Pope hauing his sword by his side was not ashamed to brag and boast of himselfe hauing refused now the third time to giue to Albert Duke of Austria the title of Emperour of Germany that himselfe forsooth was Emperour and Lord of all the world 2 And sutable to that which hath bene said of the excommunication of Fredericke the Emperour by Pope Alexander the third that is to be noted which Machiauel saith that Popes become great by three things by excommunications by pardons by weapons
how easie a matter it is for those who credit the common report which hath often a blister on her tongue to condemne Herodotus as a fabulous fellow and lying Legendary But let vs see how many authors they here encounter For if Herodotus must not be heard with his ten moneths neither must Hippocrates Galen Plutarch Plinie sundry lawyers nor the greatest part of Poets as Theocritus Plautus Cecilius Virgil and Propertius who affirme as much But certaine it is that they which condemne Herodotus in this particular either haue not read him or do not remember that they haue read as much in these writers and being forestalled with this preiudicate opinion that he maketh no conscience of a lie they scorne any further information to which if they would but lend a patient eare they should without forraging so farre find the like nay some farre greater and more wonderfull things in the extraordinary workes of nature then any mentioned by him For clearing of which point I wil adde an obiection of another kind That which he reporteth of the fertility of the territory of Babylon that one graine yeeldeth for the most part two hundred and oftentimes three hundred farre surpasseth the fruitfulnesse of our soyle and therefore say they it is out of question he here lied for the whetstone But let these horned Logicians which frame such crooked arguments answer whether nature can bring foorth fruite any more of her selfe then the knife can cut of it selfe They will answer I am sure that it cannot I demaund then what is that ouer-ruling hand which guideth and disposeth all these things They dare not denie but that it is Omnipotent which if they grant why should they thinke that to be impossible to him which is here affirmed by Herodotus If they shall further say that he and other historians tell vs strange tales of the fertilitie of certaine countries whose plentie consisteth at this day only in scarcitie want and penurie and hereupon shall accuse him of forgerie let them beware lest they inuolue the holy scriptures in the same accusation For they make some places fertile which are now in a maner barren But if we consider the hand which somtimes stretcheth forth it self and somtimes drawes it self in again which now sendeth forth a blessing and now a curse vpon one and the same country In briefe if we call to mind the saying of Dauid Psal. 104. and refer the reason of such alterations to that supreame and soueraigne cause we shall find the true answer to such obiections Moreouer those who for the former reason will not beleeue Herodotus his report of the fruitfulnesse of Babylon will neuer beeleue that the citie Babylon was so great as he reporteth it to haue bene viz. that those which dwelt in the suburbes were surprised and taken before they in the heart of the citie had knowledge thereof For if we measure the largenesse of it by the greatnesse of our cities it cannot chuse but seeme false and fabulous I proceed now to prosecute the second part touching the actions of men First then as Herodotus is suspected of falshood and forgery for reporting that Babylon was so beautiful great rich and situate in so fertil a soile so is he also for the large report which he maketh of the puissance of the Persian Kings Lords of that citie For who can beleeue that a King of Persia euer led such an armie as drunke riuers drie I meane such small riuers as he speaketh of True it is I confesse if the Reader shal consider the power of our moderne Kings and thereby iudge of the puissance and power of the Persian Monarchs he cannot but hold Herodotus for the fondest fabler that euer writ But to make this comparison were to demaund as one did whether the Sea were greater then the Lake of New-castle and it were to speake with as good iudgement as he that said as it is reported Se le Rey de Franse se fousse bin gouuerna è fousse maitre d'houta de nâ—utron seignaâ— It were I say to measure the power of Princes with his mete-wand who said Mo l'è pur matto'sto ré à â—olerse â—uffar con san Marco L'è perso che i signori ha deliberato di mettere in terra cinquecenti cauai fottili For looke how much these fond fooles debased the King of France by such ignorant and doltish speeches so much do they decase the King of Persia who compare him with our moderne Kings But as he which asked whether the Sea were greater then the Lake of Newcastle would neuer haue demanded this question if he had seene Danubius or Nilus but wold at least should haue gathered that if these riuers do incomparably exceed this Lake in bignesse the Sea into which all riuers do run must needs be of a huge and spacious greatnesse so he that hath but read what forces Tamberlaine leuied of late yeares in comparison being at the first but a Neatheard will no doubt if he haue but a dramme of iudgement thereby gather that the power of the Persian Kings did infinitely surpasse the forces of our moderne Kings For Tamberlaine had sixe hundred thousand footmen and foure hundred thousand horsemen when he encountred Baiazet the Turkish Emperour and hauing discomfited two hundred thousand of his men led him away prisoner in fetters of gold Now then if Tamberlaine of a neatheard became so puissant a Prince to what height may we think mounted the Kings of Persia considering that euen from their cradles they were men of matchlesse might which at their dying day they left much more increased For confirmation whereof though many pregnant proofes might be produced yet I will content my selfe with such as historians do affoord as namely how Xerxes one of these Emperours gaue to Themistocles fiue great cities the first for his pantry the second for his celler the third for his kitchin the fourth for his wardrobe and the fift for his bed-chamber And what great thing was this for the King of Persia to giue Verily no more then for a King at this day to giue one or two small villages They further affirme that it is not probable that euer any King should play such prankes as Herodotus reporteth not onely not beseeming their places and persons being Princes but any simple swaines or corridons of the countrey Whereunto I answer that if it were a new thing to see Kings commit facts vnbeseeming their places and persons we might well suspect his report in this behalfe But if it be common and ordinary in euery childs mouth why should we not beleeue it What may some say is it credible that a King should so farre forget himselfe as to expose his naked wife to the view of his seruant as Herodotus affirmeth of King Candaules To which I answer that if Candaules were the onely King that played so shamefull a part we were in some sort to be pardoned if we did not subscribe hereto
onely meanes to dispatch my businesse intreated so well that I went to the Abbot whom within three dayes I recouered again and made him as merry as Pope Iohn neither did he afterwards sticke to regreet me with the said siluer salutation This is the story almost word for word as himselfe reported it not thinking to disgrace himselfe any whit thereby though he did to his losse as he well perceiued afterwards wishing with a hundred lashes well set on he might retract his ouer lauish disclosing of it which so nearely concerned both his credite and commoditie but imagining that those which heard him did little fauour the Monkish fraternitie he thought belike their dislike of them and their bad dealings would haue moued them to fauour his folly or at least to dispence with his cheuerel conscience in abusing the Abbot and so mickle mirth would haue ensued thereon But it was the will of God that the testimony which he gaue against himselfe should not be forgotten Now then consider gentle Reader in what a dangerous case those patients are which fall into such mens hands For if when they vse all their skill and knowledge yea and all their conscience they often hurt intending to heale not knowing what they haue done till it be past remedie What a lamentable thing is it when of set purpose they hazard the liues of their patients onely to trie some paradoxicall receipt which they haue haply dreamed of and which is worse when they purposely intend the toy so taking them in the head to wreake some reuengefull humour vpon those whom they haue in their hands as when the barber holds the razor to a mans throate But leauing this argument as belonging to the tractate of murder rather thē to this of theft I wil speake only of those who the more they fat the churchyard the more they fill their purses cloking their ignorance with arrogancy and impudencie For I perswade my selfe that this age and that last past will better furnish vs with examples of the greedy couetousnesse and blockish ignorance of Phisitions then any of the former First therefore concerning couetousnes where can a man find the like to that of one called Petrus Aponus or Petrus de Apono professor of Phisicke at Bononia who would neuer go out of the citie to visit any patient vnder fiftie French crownes a day and being vpon a time sent for by the Pope before he would go he bargained for foure hundred French crownes the day Which puts me in mind of that which Philip Commineus recordeth of a Phisition called M. Iames Cottier to whom King Lewis the eleuenth gaue fiftie foure thousand French crownes in ready mony which was aboue the rate of ten thousand French crownes a moneth besides he gaue vnto his nephew the Bishoprick of Amiens and diuers offices and lands to him and his friends where he to recompence the King for these so great fauours vsed him as if he had bene his slaue giuing him such hard and outragious words as a master would hardly giue his seruant But I will here set downe the historiographers owne words who as it is wel knowne is famous aboue al that haue written the French storie◠as being accounted another Thucydides These therefore are his words in the Chapter where he sheweth how he suspected all men a little before his death He had saith he a Phisition called M. Iames Cottier to whom he gaue for fiue moneths 54. thousand French crownes in ready mony which was after the rate of ten thousand crowns a moneth and foure thousand ouerplus besides he gaue the Bishoprick of Amiens to his nephew and other offices and lands to him and his friends The said Phisition vsed the King so roughly with hard outragious words as no man would haue vsed his seruant Moreouer the King was so afraid of him that he durst not turne him away telling many how it grieued him Howbeit he durst not aduenture to cast him off as he did all his other seruants because he told him boldly I know saith he you will shortly turne me off as you do your other seruants but by a great oath he swore if you do it you shall neuer liue a weeke after These words did so exceedingly terrifie the King that he neuer left flattering of him and giuing him what he would demaund which was a great purgatory for him in this world considering the great obeisance so many great Lords and men of worth had done vnto him See here what this historian reporteth of this phisition who in two other places maketh expresse mention of ten thousand French crownes which he monethly receiued These few examples will make vs lesse to wonder at that which Froissart reporteth of a Phisition called M. William of Harsely who cured the French King Charles the sixt and restored him both to his wit health how that he died worth three thousand pounds in ready mony But it shall not be amisse to alleadge the words of the historian seeing he speaketh as wel of the couetousnesse of Phisitions in generall as of the said William in particular For hauing spoken of this his great cure he further addeth that it was thought expedient and requisite stil to retaine this William of Harsely in the Court and fully to satisfie him to his contentment for this is the period of Phisitions purposes to catch the rewards and to pocket vp the gifts of Lords and Ladies great ones especially whom they visit and haue in cure Well they intreated him to make his abode with the King but he requested them to hold him excused saying he was old weake and crazed and could hardly accommodate himselfe to the fashions of the Court in a word that he would returne to his owne home They perceiuing him inexorable would not retaine him perforce but suffered him to depart with a faire reward of a thousand crownes in gold offering him moreouer that if it would please him to make his repaire to the Court he should be furnished with foure horses at the Kings cost when he thought good But I suppose he neuer came thither after For being come to Laon where his most abode was death intercepted his returne He died very rich leauing behind him the summe of three thousand pounds in ready mony In his life he was most miserable taking pleasure in nothing but in treasuring vp store of Ark-Angels his expences in housekeeping vsually not amounting the summe of two pence halfepenie the day for he would make bold with his neighbours for his diet All Phisitians are sicke of the same disease 10 But I may not ouer-passe one who hath surpassed I suppose not onely the rest of that profession but the rest of that qualitie I meane of that couetous disposition who died nine yeares since or thereabout called Iacobus Syluius one of whose tricks shall suffice to giue a tast of the rest He was a man endued with most profound knowledge in Phisicke and an admirable dexteritie
was thought to be with child answered that he knew very well by her vrine that she was with childe indeed and that she might assure her selfe thereof 13 But leauing their other deuices to be discussed by those who haue more leasure then my self I will speake a word or two of Barbers Chirurgians yet recording no extraordinary thing but onely that which many vpbraid them with and lay in their dish viz. how they deferre that to the twentieth or thirtieth dressing which they might haue applied at the third or fourth keeping the wound fresh greene yea sometimes renewing them in steed of consolidating and healing them as also how their grosse ignorance is often the cause of the cutting off of an arme or a leg Moreouer I were greatly to blame if I should not hold them as barbarous at least in their kind as the Phisitions formerly mentioned Now this puts me in minde of a Barber who after he had cupped me as the Phisitian had prescribed to turne away a Catarrhe asked me if I would be sacrificed Sacrificed said I did the Phisition tell you any such thing No quoth he but I haue sacrificed many who haue bene the better for it Then musing a little with my selfe I told him Surely Sir you mistake your self you meane scarified O Sir by your fauour quoth he I haue euer heard it called sacrificing and as for scarifying I neuer heard it before In a word I could by no means perswade him but that it was the Barbers office to sacrifice men Since which time I neuer saw any man in a Barbers hands but that sacrificing Barber came to my mind But seeing their ignorance blockishnes may be sufficiently discouered by such like errors I will not prosecute this argument any further but onely call to mind that which hath bene said how I hold them no better then theeues who being vnskilfull in their profession make no conscience to take the reward due onely to such as are expert and skilfull in the Art And verily if we looke a little more narrowly into the matter we shall finde them to be no simple theeues but theeues in graine seeing by their ignorance they depriue those of their liues whom they had formerly bereft of their money Now all this which hath bene spoken makes not a litle for the credit and benefite of such as are Artists indeed and practise it faithfully whether they be Phisitions or Surgeons Barbers or Apothecaries to the end they may be more carefully sought after and on the other side that such horseleeches may the better be shunned and auoided 14 Concerning the second thing which I propounded to speake of viz. cōmodities or wares seruing to cloath the body doubtles the subtil deuices inuented to falsifie them are neither so many nor so dangerous And as I haue spokē summarily of the former so wil I speak as briefly of this and wil only mention as I promised certaine fraudulent dealings practised in wollen clothes and silks to the end I may shew that our age could teach the former wherein Oliuer Maillard liued some trick or other of cūning conueyance as wel in this as in other particulars And first I wil begin with Merchants who not content by their subtill maner of measuring formerly spoken of to get vpon the measure haue deuised a way to falsify clothes in regard of the matter putting in flocks in steed of woll so that wheras chapmen think they haue their cloth of like woll within as it apeareth to be without they find by experiēce after they haue worn it but a litle that they bought plain flocked cloth Now vnder the name Merchant I comprehend Clothiers vsing the word in a general acception and though there were nothing else the common french prouerb confirmeth it which saith Il fait assez qui fait faire So that if I should speake of the deceit vsed in dying I thinke I should offer Merchants no wrong to lay it to their charge For though all false Diuers haue not the watchword from Merchants yet as if there were no receiuers there would be no theeues so if Merchants would receiue no wares but good and merchātable doubtlesse Clothiers and dyers would not falsifie them If they shall answer that themselues are the first that are deceiued I answer again that if they be not skilful in their trade they shold shut vp shop But to proceed to another argument what will they say trow we to that late deuice in coyning of new phrases and formes of speech and making them go for currant almost in euery mans mouth whereby we are drawne to acknowledge that we receiue better wares of thē then indeed we do I wil instance exemplifie this with the stuffe which they call Florence Searge and will speake of it as of a thing which I learned to mine owne cost About ten yeares ago when men spake of Florence Searge they ment such as was right Florence Searge indeed made in that citie but since that time they haue caused counterfeit Searge to be made very like vnto it which at the first they called Searge after the fashion of Florence by which no man could be deceiued Howbeit they haue by little and little through long custome left out these words After the manner and haue called it in plaine termes Florence Serge for breuity sake which abridging or rather clipping the kings English makes much for the profite of the seller and the cost of the buyer I meane when a Merchant of a good large conscience meeteth with a chapman who is vnacquainted with this new stile Which thing I confes happened vnto me whē this new phrase came first in vse and therefore I said I would speake of it as of a thing which I learned to mine own cost For hauing sometimes bought Florence Searge at Florence and knowing it to be very excellent good stuffe indeed I had euer after a mind to weare it and no other if it might be had for money Meeting therfore with a Merchant who found Florence in France I quickly agreed of the price though it was very deare and departed glad of the bargaine But he met with me and not I with him for after that I had worne a short cloake which I made of it some few dayes I perceiued that I had not found Florence in France and then you may assure your selfe I was not mute nor tongue tied when I came to expostulate the matter with my Merchant for the cheating tricke he had plaied me who seeing he could not denie it vsed no other excuse but that it was the vsuall manner of speech And what should a man say to this geare to speake Maillard-like but Ad triginta mille diabolos talem modum loquendi Now albeit I haue instanced in this one example of Searge yet it is not without a felow sure I am that Spanish felts may beare it company For the case is not alike with these wares as with those which
cloy our daintie trauailers who haue bene in Italy with setting before them old cole-worts in a new dish I will here record a late murther wherein we shall as in a crystall see the most diuellish and damnable desire of reuenge that euer entred into the heart of man An Italian hauing nourished malice and rancor in his mind for the space of ten yeares together dissembling all the while to be friends with his fo as he was walking on a time with him in a by-place came behind him and threw him downe and holding his dagger to his throate told him that if he would not renounce God he would kill him The man being at the first very loth to commit so horrible a sinne yet in the end yeelded to do it rather then to lose his life and so renounced both God and the Saints and all the Kyrielle as they spake in those dayes whereupon the wicked wretch hauing his desire stabbed him with his dagger which he held to his throate and afterward bragged that he had taken the kindliest and the brauest reuenge of his enemie that euer man did in that he had destroyed him both body and soule 4 I proceed now to prosecute those murthers that are committed of a couetous and greedie desire of gaine which are of two sorts Some commit them in hope of reward as I shewed before when I spake of assassins others in hope they may enioy the spoile of trauailers with more securitie whom we call theeues and robbers Of assassins we haue spoken sufficiently before As for theeues would to God they were not so frequent in all places for it may truly be said of this age that it surpasseth all the former in notorious thefts as we may perceiue by the new punishment inflicted vpon such malefactors in the raigne of king Francis the first by his expresse edict For seeing ordinary punishments wold nothing moue them he deuised an extraordinary kind of torture viz. to breake them vpon a wheele and there to leaue them to languish and pine away But neither was this sufficient to make them giue ouer the trade and occupation nor to keepe others from following it witnesse the many executions which haue bene since especially at Paris That of a gentleman called Villieuineuf of the Countie of Tonnerre is famous among the rest who kept a good fellow of purpose to cut mens throates who was executed with him and a yong youth which was his lackey who was whipped and the cut-throate companion burned quicke before his eyes and himselfe afterwards broken vpon the wheele And this putteth me in mind of an Italian who cōmitted his robberies if they may be so called in the very citie within his owne house whereas others are wont to rob by the high way whence cutters by the high way side and robbers are vsed as synonymies This Italiā called Francisquino hauing continued sometime at Bononia the fertill in one of the best mens houses of the city being held to be some great noble man by reason of his state and bountie was discouered in the end to leade such a life as followeth Vnder colour of keeping open house for all gamesters at dice and cards an vsual thing with gentlemen in that countrey though in some cities more then in others and of hauing continuall supply of fresh company to shew his bountie and magnificence his manner was to send for such as newly arriued in the citie to visit him and as soone as they were come and that he had saluted and welcomed them according to the manner to call for the tables or cards and to bid his man make dinner or supper ready in the meane time or to prouide a banquet according to the time of the day But in stead of preparing it the bloudy butcher addressed himselfe to slay them when his master Francisquino should giue him a signe which course of life they had led so long that as the report goeth when they were apprehended and had confessed al their villanies the carcasses of ten or fifteene men which they had thus murthered were found cast in priuies In fine this was their punishmēt After they had bene pinched with pinsers they were ripped and bowelled and their hearts being hastily pulled out of their bodies were shewed them But to returne to France and to the boldnesse of these theeuish companions this is recorded as a most memorable fact of two brethren borne in a certaine place betweene Niuernois and Burgundie neare to Vezeley who were spitted vpon a stake some fifteene yeares ago for stealing the Kings treasure towards Briare of whom this is worthy to be obserued that they verified the old saying Conueniunt rebus nomina saepè suis for their sirname was Latro that is Theefe neither did they bely their name for as they were theeues in name so were they theeues in deed The report goes that when the Kings officers came to apprehend them in a place whither they had retired themselues they defended themselues very couragiously in such sort that one of them was slaine in the place before he would yeeld Their fellow theefe called Villepruné was executed at Rome in the time of Pope Paul the third to whom King Francis the first had sent his processe to attach him 5 But what need we examples to proue that our age doth beare away the bell as well in this as in other vices when we see that the weapons and instruments fit for the following of such a trade of life haue not onely bene inuented of late but are dayly renewed and as it were refined by sundry deuices For for whose sake I beseech you were guns inuented by a diuell in the shape of a Monke but for theeues and robbers For proofe hereof since harquebuzes pistols and pistolets of all sorts and sizes were in vse who were the first trow we who not content to carry three or foure cases at their saddles filled their sleeues and breeches with them And by whom were those great slouching slops and swaggering hose like little tubs or beere-barrels first inuented but by such good fellowes as wanted a commodious place to harbour such guests Now looke how much Germany is more famous then other countries for inuenting these instruments so much are we the lesse to wonder that there should be so many good fellows to be found at this day that should employ them to that wicked end though through the great care and vigilancie of the Princes of Germany the number of them is well abated within these few yeares We are not I say to wonder hereat no more then at that which we reade in auncient writers of the Chalybes who were the first smithes at leastwise most expert and skilfull in that art Yet questionlesse French theeues go farre beyond German theeues in subtill sleights and cleanly conueyance Touching Italy for I will now mention no other country I haue euer knowne it lesse subiect to the danger of cutters and verily during those three yeares
Italian Marquesse This houswife neuer respecting the noble house whence she was descended played the harlot with one of her Chaplaines though a very dandiprat and exceedingly deformed But this companion escaped not so scotfree as his fellowes For being bewrayed by the barking of a dogge he was taken and stripped starke naked and had that part cut off wherewith he had offended Which happened in the time of Pope Steuen the eight about the yeare of our Lord 941. But to returne to Franciscans I haue not forgotten the history of the gray Frier calling himselfe Saint Francis who played his part so well with a silly superstitious woman that she admitted him to her bed but before he could bring his resolution to execution the curtaine was drawne and the play ended otherwise then he expected and by those whom he neuer suspected For Saint Peter as porter of Pararadise and Saint Thomas as one who would neuer haue beleeued such a matter came to seeke him euen to his beds side and sent him packing after another manner then he came thither I haue not I say forgotten this story but reserue it to his proper place 2 Now these gallants not content to play the knaues in graine and to exceed all the ruffians that euer entred the Huleu of Paris in obscenitie of speeches and filthy conuersation haue bin bold and that in open pulpits before the crucifixe and all the men and women Saints there present keeping demure countenances in looking on and saying nothing to vse such modest talke as were enough to make all the whores at least the curtizans of Venice and Rome to blush for shame Witnesse a Franciscan of Tours who preaching vpon Easter tuesday in a village called S. Martin le beau nigh the citie Bleré in Touraine and recommending him selfe and his sute vnto them said Madames I am bound to giue you thankes for your liberality to our poore couent But shall I tell you you haue not considered of all our necessities And then he vsed such a villanous speech that is so beseeming his cloister according to the old saying A man is not to looke for grapes of thornes or figs of thistles and so vnworthy all chast eares that I will not staine my paper therewith And if perhaps I forget my selfe so much in other places as to blot paper with the like I shall desire the Reader not to take offence thereat nor to gather thereupon that I take pleasure in the recitall of such hideous and horrible villanies but to perswade himselfe that the onely desire I haue to decipher out villaines by their villanies and wicked men by their wickednesse to the end that the knowledge of them may breed a bitter detestation of such monstrous abomination hath moued me to imitate the Lacedemonians who teaching their children sobrietie and temperance shewed them their slaues drunken that seeing their beastly behauiour they might in their youth grow to a lothing and detestation of their drunkennesse Notwithstanding if there be any curious head desirous to know what this rotten speech was which the Monke vttered he shall find it with sundry others in the narrations of the Queene of Nauarre whose meaning in publishing those Nouuelles was to let posterity vnderstand the notorious wickednesse of these false Friers who were reputed not only honest men but euen pety Saints Now as the Satyrist saith Nemo repente fuit turpissimus so it is certen that their loose licencious life dissolute demeanour hath dayly increased growne by degrees But we haue seene it in the ruffe especially sithence this rascall rout is come to this passe to desire as one writeth that they might be permitted in their confessions to handle those parts members of the body which had bin instruments in committing the sinne which they confessed And when a Bishop told one of them that had put vp this petition what an absurd and shamefull thing it would be for men and women to shew their priuities he answered that if it were accounted no dishonesty for confessors to contemplate at the same instant with the eyes of the mind which are far more pure and precious then the eyes of the body not onely the parts members of the body which had committed filthinesse but the filthy fact it selfe disclosed and layed open vnto them in holy â—hrift much lesse ought it to be thought a dishonest or vnseemly thing to behold and view them with their bodily eyes Further he alleadged that the confessor resembling the spirituall Phisition ought to feele his patient as well as the bodily Phisition doth his And these his Scoggin-like scoffes he burnished with blasphemies prophanely abusing the words of our blessed Sauiour Go and shew thy self to the Priest as though the Iewes had bin accustomed to strip off their clothes and shew themselues naked to the Priest But to returne to these iolly Preachers what modest speeches think we vse they in priuat wheÌ„ they vse such obscene scurrility in publik When I say in priuat I meane not onely their owne cloisters but the cloisters of their most deare louing and welbeloued sisters for their maner was to build them neare together Whereupon a merry companion tooke occasion to say Here is the barne and there are the threshers Which puts me in mind of that which a ieaster once said to King Henry the second for when it was debated which way they might best furnish the King with mony he propounded two The first was that if the King would let him weare his crowne by course he would furnish him with two millions of gold The second that he should giue commaundement that all Monks beds should be sold and the mony brought vnto him Whereupon the King asking him where the Monks should lie when their beds were sold with the Nunnes quoth he Whereupon the King replied But thou considerest not that there are nothing so many Nunnes as Monks To which he had this answer at his fingers ends It is true if it please your Highnesse said he but euery Nun can wel lodge half a dozen Monks at the least 3 But how comes it to passe may some say that these poore Franciscans are more commonly flouted and played vpon then the other fry of Friers Verily it is not for want of examples as well of other Monks as of simple sir Iohns but because they beare the world in hand that they haue ascended a note aboue Ela and attained a greater degree of holinesse then the rest of this rable therfore they are more narrowly looked into then the rest And when the best of them all who boast themselues to be most holy are not worth a rush it must needs follow that the rest are bad enough Neuerthelesse for his satisfaction who might haply make such an obiection I will alleadge some rare examples of simple Sir Iohns that is of such as are not Monks but single soled Priests First then we are not to wonder that these gallants especially Curats
and Vicars should go into euery mans house and take toll of their wiues seeing all men almost at least the greatest part kept open house for them and put them in trust with their wiues making account that they had to deale with their soules onely and not with their bodies In such sort that a simple sot finding a Sir Iohn at worke with his wife durst hardly beleeue for feare of committing a mortall sinne that he came thither for any bad intent Which women knowing wel enough were not to seeke for an excuse when they chanced to be found at vnawares with their good Curate as we haue formerly alleadged examples of their craft and subtilty in playing false with their husbands when and as often as they were taken napping in the fact with one or other of their kind acquaintance But let vs see what subtill sleights Priests and Monkes had in their budgets to passe their wicked purposes when they met with any obstacle or rub in their way It is reported of two or three good fellowes one of which was a kind Curate in a burrough-towne situate in the mountaines betweene Daulphiné and Sauoy who counselled the good wiues of their parish to faine themselues to be possessed that when their husbands went on pilgrimage for the dispossessing of them they might commit them to their custody till their returne that so they might not be niggards of their stoles nor their other instruments which might do their wiues good We reade also of sundry others through whose counsell women haue fained themselues sicke of one disease or other whereunto their sexe is vsually subiect that vnder colour of applying to them their relikes they might apply vnto them some other thing As a Minorite Frier in Sicily serued the yong wife of an old Phisition named Agatha For she hauing in her confession layd open to this Monke some part of her mind as namely that she bare no great affection to her husband and hauing giuen sufficient intimation at least to one of so quicke a conceit as without casting of her water could soone perceiue where she was pained that she longed for change of pasture was perswaded by him before he had absolued her that the next day when her husband was gone to visit his patients she should faine her selfe sicke of the mother as indeed she was somewhat subiect vnto it and that she should call for the helpe of my Lord S. Bernardine which she did VVhereupon they intreated this Minorite to bring the miraculous relikes of S. Bernardine and apply them to this poore patient The Frier being glad that his plot stood in so good terms foreslowed not his businesse but coming straight to her beds side and finding more witnesses there then he desired told them that he must begin with holy shrift which was enough to make them all voyde the roome so that there only remained his companion and the gentlewomans maid And then was it time both for mistris and maid to go about other matters then confession Now as they were hard at worke the poore Phisition came home not giuing the pedlar of relikes so much time as to put on his breeches but onely to leape out of bed and finding these two confessors so neare his wife beganne to scratch his head not daring to speake all that he thought But it strucke him to the heart poore soule when after their departure he found one of the Confessors breeches vnder the beds head as he was tricking vp his wiues pillow But as the morall was well handled so the play was farre better acted For his wife presently preuenting him said Sweet husband because the relique of blessed S. Bernardine hath recouered me I desired the Confessor to leaue it with me fearing a relapse The Frier being aduertised by the maid of the starring hole which her mistris had found to the end that the Catastrophe might be answerable to the Prologue returned to fetch his breeches with ringing and chiming of bels with crosses and holy water accompanied with all the fry of their fraternity and namely with the Priour of the house and hauing taken them out of a faire linnen cloth in which the sicke soule had wrapped them he caused all the standers by to kisse them and first of all the silly noddy her husband and hauing layd them vp in a shrine departed thence with this precious and wonder-working Iewell Others as Poggius report that the breeches of S. Francis couered the knauery of the breeches which the Minorite Frier had left behind him To the same purpose Boccace writeth of an Abbatesse in Lombardy who rising in hast from a Priest with whom she had layen that night to take one of her Nuns in bed with her Paramot in stead of her vailes which some call the psalter she for haste put on the Priests breches on her head which the poore Nunne straight perceiuing as she was to receiue her benedicite for the points of the breeches hung downe on either side Madame said she first tie your coiâ—e and then I will be contented to heare whatsoeuer admonition you shall giue me with that the Abbatesse perceiued what it was that she had inconsiderately put vpon her head and there upon changed the copie of her countenance and was streight in another key In this history there is one remarkable point which I may not omit wherein all agree which relate the same although they vary somewhat in other circumstances viz. how this iolly Minorite vnder pretence of shriuing her tooke occasion to lie with her This I say is the rather to be marked because it confirmeth the saying of that good old Preacher Oliuer Maillard who complaineth that after these gallants haue heard womens confessions and learned who they be that follow the occupation they run after them Qui auditis confessiones mulierum deinde curritis post eas Howbeit we haue more auncient and authenticall testimonies hereof For Poggius a Florentine reporteth that there was an Eremite at Padua called Ansimitius in the raigne of Francis the seuenth Duke of that city who being held to be a holy man corrupted many women those especially which were descended of noble houses and all vnder colour of confession And he addeth a very pleasant ieast how that when this Eremite was detected he was brought before the Duke who hauing examined him caused his secretary to know of him the names of all the womeÌ„ which he had abused Who after he had reckoned vp a great number such especially as resorted to the Dukes pallace he sayd he had told all But the Secretarie still vrging him to confesse more and to conceale neuer a one The poore Eremite fetching a sorrowfull sigh said Why then Sir write downe your owne wife At which words the Secretary was so astonished that the pen fell out of his fingers The Duke on the other side was almost resolued into laughter But to omit these examples daily experience doth sufficiently shew that auricular
Allez à la cháce où les châ—â—s des martyrs sont vous les trouuerez renuersez Adonc allerent fut ainsi â—â—ouué comme ils auoyent dit That is A certaine man possessed with many diuels was brought to S. Dominicke who tooke the stole and girded it fast about his necke commaunding them that from thencefoorth they should not torment him and foorthwith they were grieuously tormented within him and said Suffer vs to depart Why doest thou thus torment vs To whom he answered You shal not depart vntil you haue gotten some to be your sureties that ye wil neuer enter into him again They said What sureties The holy Martyrs said he which lie here in the Church Whereunto they answered Our merits do not deserue that Well you must procure theÌ„ said he to giue their words for you otherwise you shall not be set free They answered they would do their endeuour and returning againe not long after said Albeit we be vnworthy yet haue we gotten the holy Martyrs to be our sureties Then he demanded a signe of them If you go to the shrines said they where the sâ—uls of the Martyrs lie you shall find them ouerturned Whereupon he went and found it as they had said After which story or fable rather this other followeth which for the grace it hath deserues to go with it hand in hand It happened that as this holy father preached on a time certaine simple seduced women fell downe at his feet and said O thou man of God help vs. If this doctrine which thou hast taught be true an erroneous spirit hath this long time blinded our minds To whom he said Feare not stay a litle and you shall see what master you serue And immediatly they saw a blacke cat leaping in among them of the bignesse of a great curre with flaming eyes a long large and bloudy tongue reaching downe to her brest a crooked writhen taile turning vp on high shewing her posteriorums which way soeuer she went whence came a horrible stinch who hauing fisked this way and that way about these deuout dames a long time in the end went vp by the bel-ropes and left a filthy stinke behind her And so these women thanked God and turned to the Catholicke faith But because such stories as these are but Frier-like fables very harsh to all mens eares that are not Frierified I thinke it good whilest they are now listning and attentiue to let them heare at once the rest I do remember First then fol. 211. of the foresaid booke of Conformities we reade how S. Francis to shew that he was a pure virgin stripped himselfe naked before the Bishop of Assise and others and how he gaue his breeches to the foresaid father shewing that he was not defiled with women Thus much for the master Let vs now heare how well his schollers followed his example Fol. 62. Frier Leonard putting off his breeches at the gate of Viterbe put them vpon his head and binding his other apparell like a fardell about his necke went starke belly naked through the streets where he endured many villanies afterwards he went into the Friery where all the Friers cried shame vpon him but he was so holy a man that he respected not what they said telling them that he had done the like as he passed through two other cities There is also mention made of another of his disciples which tooke pleasure in playing the like pageant who whether he resemble the doggish Diogenes or not let the Reader iudge 4 And now I come to those examples which will not giue a man his breakefast as the former but onely his belly full of laughing cheare so as he may perhaps indanger that which I spake of And if you please to beginne with S. Francis let vs listen a little to his great wisedome recorded fol. 114. of the said booke how he saluted the birds spake vnto them and called them his brethren commanding them to hearken to the word of God and how they hearing him preach vnto them reioiced exceedingly thrusting out their necks and opening their beakes one vpon another maâ—king him all the while very attentiuely and how when the sermon was ended he walked through the middest of them and permitted them to depart Wherupon they flew all away with a great noise and deuided theÌ„selues into foure companies according to the foure quarters of the world therby signifying that the order of Saint Francis should be renoumed and dispersed throughout the earth Againe fol. 149. we reade that a Grashopper abode eight daies with him in stead of Saint Mary and that when he called her she flue vnto him and light vpon his head and so taking leaue of him departed As also how a Nightingale and he song Anthemes a whole day together by course Againe fol. 114. how he made the Swallows to cease their chattering calling theÌ„ sisters And in the same page how he cured a man-keene wolfe which had hurt many in the citty by making the signe of the crosse and how he made this agreement with him any brother wolfe thou must here promise me that thou wilt not rauen as heretofore thou hast done and then the citie will keepe thee Which the wolfe promised to do bowing downe his head euidently Then said Saint Francis sweare vnto me vpoÌ„ thine honesty and therwith put forth his hand where the wolf lifting vp his right foote laid it gently in Saint Francis his hand Who said my brother wolfe I charge thee in the name of our Lord Iesus Christ that thou follow me now presently which he did We read also of sundry Saints who tooke pleasure in talking with beasts but this brotherhood with wolues is peculiar I take it to Saint Francis 5 Further who can containe himselfe when he shall read how Saint Macarius did seuen yeares penance among thorns and bushes for killing of a flea Which verily was another manner of penance then that which Saint Francis did for eating Coquinam de â—ardone But I may not forget another pranke plaied by Saint Dominicke recorded towards the end of his legend which was the fact of a bon-companion indeed at leastwise so penned that it will make good fellowes sport and minister vnto them matter of merriment viz. that there was a holy Nun called Mary who had a sore thigh and had endured great paine of it for the space of fiue moneths and was past hope euer to haue it cured who thinking her selfe vnworthy to pray vnto God or to be heard of him besought Saint Dominick to be a mediator for her that she might be restored to her limmes again Where falling asleepe shortly after she thought she saw Saint Dominicke close by her and how he tooke from vnder his coape a strong smelling ointment wherewith he annointed her thigh And that when she asked him what it was he should answer that it was The ointment of loue Which riddle I leaue to the Reader to reade as
and dotages farlies and fooleries as we haue spoken of in part already and are to speake more at large hereafter considering they agree no better then harpe and harrow Let posteritie therfore know that the state of the Church stood in such termes within these thirty yeares that he that had read the Scripture in his mother tong was in as great danger of the burning chamber and had as great need to hide his head as if he had bin a false coyner or had committed some greater offence For he that was found reading the Bible or had it onely in his house was sure to fry a fagot especially if he did answer to such interrogatories as should be ministred vnto him accordingly Which rigorous dealing is witnessed by sundry sorrowfull songs and dolefull madrigals published about that time albeit without the authors names Of which argument also there was one made Anno 1544. beginning thus Vous per dez temps de me vouloir defendre D'esâ—udier en la saincte Escriture Plus m'en blasmez plus m'en voulez reprendre Plus m'esiouit plus me plaist la lecture Ce que Dieu nous commande Faut-il qu'on le defende Par tourmens menaces Cessez vos graâ—â— audaâ—es Que l'Eternel ne bransle sa main dextre Pour vous monstrer que lui seul est le maistre That is Ye lose your time that would for fend mine eyes The reading of the sacred histories The more ye blame me for so blessed deed The more I list and more I like to reade What God himselfe directly shall command Shall ye with threats and torments dare withstand Leaue off your proud audacious enterprise Lest that th' Eternall shake his irefull hand And teach you what it is 'gainst God to rise For it fared with many of those Doctors as it did with those whoÌ„ our Sauiour reproueth for taking away the key of knowledge in that they would neither enter in themselues nor yet suffer such as would to enter For neither would they reade the Scripture themselues nor suffer others to reade it Nay one of their Reuerendissimi was not ashamed to say openly as hath bin heretofore witnessed by others I cannot but wonder to heare these yong fellows alleadge the new Testament Per diem I was aboue 50. yeare old before I knew what the new Testament meant But what reason had they to forbid the translatioÌ„ of the Bible into the vulgar tongue Verily this goodly reason because forsooth it was to be feared lest the simple people should reade sundry things therein which they would peruert to their owne destruction for want of sound vnderstanding and iudgement and so would fall into manifold absurdities and errors To which sleeueles reason this answer was made about fifteen yeares ago by a man of excellent parts in those dayes vpon whom God hath since doubled and trebled and doth still multiply the graces of his spirit Nos grans Docteurs au cherubin visage On t defendu qu'homme n'ait plus à voir La saincte Bible en vulgaire langage Dont vn chacun peut cognoissance auoir Car disent-ils desir de tant sauoir N'engendre rien qu'erreur peine souci Arguo sic S'il est donques ainsi Que pour l'abus il faille oster ce liure Il est tout clair qu'on leur deuoit aussi Oster le vin dont chacun d'eux s'enyure That is Our learned Rabbins with their malmseynose Forbidden men the holy writ to reade In vulgar tongues for learning they suppose Nothing but error paine and care doth breed Arguo sic If then for cause of this abusion The Bible must be bard from looking on Needs mote their wine be taken from their sight Wherewith they bene each one so oft mis-dight But how then is that to be vnderstood which we reade in Oliuer Maillard that good old Preacher where he telleth the burgesses and citizens of Paris that they had the Bible in the French tongue Verily he meant a kind of Bible which was first translated for the nonce and fitted for their tooth and after glossed with the glosse of Orleans which corrupteth the text yea so interlaced and interlarded therwith as that they would be sure it should not crosse nor contrary their false deuised doctrine and that nothing might be found in the whole Scripture which might sound aught but holinesse and honour to our holy mother the Catholicke Church of Rome These were the Bibles wherein they gaue their Antidotes in such places especially where they feared the poore people might be poisoned as they speake Of which argument I made these verses following Comment ont nos Rabbis permis defendu Le liure qu'ils ont craint de tous estre entendu La Bible ont defendu en langage vulgaire Puis l'ont fait imprimer pour au peuple complaire Ceci s'accorde bien car tout ainsi qu'on voit Que nous ostons le vin à qui par trop en boit Ou qu'auecques force â—au tellement on l'appreste Que faire mal aucun il ne peut à la teste Ainsi ont nos Rabbis voulu la Bible oster Ou bien leurs mixtions à la Bible aiouster That is How haue our Rabbins licenc'd and forbade The booke so fear'd of lay-men to be learn'd For both they haue fâ—â—bade in vulgar tongues The Bibles vse and â—or they faine would please It now comes newly â—â—â—oking from the presse All this may well agree For as we see The wine ore reaueâ— from the drunken man Or else so temper'd from the cooler spring That naught may â—â—reamen vp to hurt the braine So or our Rabbins take this booke away Or with their mixtions can his strength allay Now these their mixtions they call counterpoison albeit they deserue rather to be called deadly poison For certes the Scriptures being read in that holy manner that God hath commaunded will poison no man I meane they will not leauen our heads with erroneous opinions but rather purge vs of the leauen of false doctrine but it is their glosse which poisoneth such as are not prouided of some soueraigne Antidote or counter-poison CHAP. XXXI Of the paraphrasticall expositions vsed by the foresaid Preachers especially in expounding the historie of the Bible HAuing declared in the former Chapter how these Doctors did ex-expresly forbid the reading of the holy Scripture in the vulgar tong except it had such a glosse as would marre the text and such a cautionate interpretation as that they wold be sure their trumperies should not be discouered I am now to shew how they abused it in their Sermons sundry other wayes And first how they vsed a kind of paraphrase wherein they play with the holy Scripture as Comaedians are wont or rather conuert it into meere Comicall conceits For example we find nothing recorded in Scripture of the woman called a sinner who came to our Sauiour as he sate at table Luke 7. but only this
that being at dinner in the Pharisies house a womaÌ„ of the citie of Naiâ— which had bene a sinner or a loose liuer came to seeke him that she washed his feete with her teares and wiped them with the haires of her head that she kissed them and annointed them with sweet ointments and how Christ shewed by a similitude that we should not wonder that her sinnes were forgiuen her and how that after he had said Thy sins are forgiuen thee he added Thy faith hath saued thee Go in peace Thus much we find in the Gospell touching this history Let vs now see into how wide and large a field these Preachers wandered and amongst the rest Menot whom I haue so often alleadged First they can tell you this womans name albeit the Euangelist hath concealed it and not that onely but her parentage also pedegree nay further that she was at the Sermon which our Sauiour made before dinner neither that onely but what talke they had together and in what tearmes And which is more Menot speaketh of it as if hee had seene it liuely pourtraited before his eyes For consider what he writeth fol. 160. Quò ad primum Magdalena for hee taketh it for a confessed truth that it is spoken of her erat Domina terrena de castro Magdalon tam sapiens quòd erat mirum audire loqui de sapientia eius prudentia O ergo Magdalena quomodo venistis ad tantum inconueniens quòd vocemini magna peccatrix Et non sine causa quod fuistis malè conciliata Data est tribus conciliariis qui eam posuerunt in talistatu scilicet primus Corporalis elegantia secundus temporalis substantia tertius fuit libertas nimia De primo Prouerb vlt. c. Primùm ergo quid fuit causae huius mulieris perditionis Fuit elegantia corporalis that is What was the cause of this womans ruine and destruction verily her surpassing beauty Videbatur that she was made as a man would say of purpose to be looked on Pulchra iuuenis alta cherry-cheeked soft and succulent ruddy as a rose Minion like-minsing pleasantly warbling Credo quòd non erat nisi quindecim vel sedecim annorum quando incêpit sic viuere triginta quando rediit ad bonitatem Dei Numera c. Quando pater fuit mortuus plena erat sua voluntate Martha soror non audebat ei dicere verbum videbatur ei quòd faciebat magnum honorem illis qui veniebant ad illam Quicquid faciebat erat viuere at her pleasure and to banquet hodie inuitare c. And a little after This silly sot who had prostituted her selfe to euery comeâ— erat in castro suo the bruite was noised already throughout all Iewry and the country of Galilee Omnes bibendo comedendo loquebantur de ea de eius vita Martha soror timens Deum amans honorem of her kinred being very much ashamed of the shamelesse impudency of her sister videns quod omnes loquebantur of her her sweet doings venit ad eam dicens O soror si pater adhuc viueret qui tantuÌ„ vos amabat audiret ista quae per orbem agitantur de vobis surely you would kill him with greefe Facitis magnum dedecus progeniei nostrae VVhat is the matter now quid vis dicere Heu soror non opus est vltrà procedere neque amplius manifestare Scitis benè quid volo dicere vbi iaceat punctus Euery child can talke of it O hypocrite what need you to take care for me must you needs haue an oare in euery mans boate what the diuell meane you by this geare Lord saue vs all Nonne estis magistramea Quis dedit mihi this stout dame to trouble me Vadatis precor ad domum verstram scio quid habeo agere ita benè sicut vna alia Habeo sensum intellectum to know how to demeane and behaue my selfe Surely it is so goodly a creature that she cannot thinke of any thing saue of her selfe Martha rogabat eam vt iret ad sermonem consuleret aliquem homineÌ„ bonae vitae Magdalena dixit ianitori Non dimittas mihi intrare hoc castrum this mad sister of mine who bringeth hither nothing but dissention and vnquietnesse vbi non consueuit esse nisi cantus gaudij After this he maketh a long narration of the meanes which Martha vsed to perswade her sister to come to our Sauiours Sermon not telling her what he was but onely that he was a very goodly man O soror essetis valde foelix si possetis videre vnum hominem qui praedicat in Hierusalem Est pulchrior omnibus quos vnquam vidisâ—â—s tà m gratiosus tà m â—onestus he is of so good behauiour and knowes so well to giue kind entertainment as you neuer saw the like Credo sirmiter quòd si videretis eum essetis amorosa de eo est in flore iuuentutis suae And a little after Illa cepit pulchra indumenta sua aquam rosaceam pro lauando faciem suam cepit speculum Videbatur quòd esset vnus pulcher angelus Nullus â—am aspexisset qui non fuisset amorosus de ea ipsa ante se misit mangones portantes great store of crimosine cushions vt disponerent sibi locum Martha videbat haec omnia fingens nihil videre sequebatur eaÌ„ sicut si fuisset parua ancilla Christus iam erat in media praedicatione vel fortè in secunda parte After he sheweth how all men honoured Magdalen wondering to see her come to the Sermon And that as soone as our Sauiour perceiued her he began to preach how detestable a thing outward brauery pompous attire was Tunc saith he ipse capit detestari vitia bragas pompas vanitates specialiter peccatum luxuriae contra has mulieres c. Afterward he shewes how that notwithstanding Magdalen was touched to the quicke with that Sermon thinking of nothing so much as of repentance and leading a new life yet that she was in great danger to haue beene drawne away by her customers and old acquaintance and brought to her old by as again Venerunt saith he galandi amorosi rustici roisters qui dixerunt surgatis surgatis facitis nunc your selfe a superstitious hypocrite Vadamus ad domum Quae dixit O amici mei rogo dimittatis me non audistis quid dixit ille bonus praedicator de poenis inferni vobis mihi praeparatis nisi aliud faciamus And a little after Habebat in suo armariolo sweet and precious water quae vendebatur pondere auri Coepit quaerere de loco in locum de platea in plateam de domo in domum Quis hodie dabit prandium praedicatori Dictum est ei quòd in domo Simonis And after he relateth the speech which she vsed when she kissed our Sauiours feet and washed them with her teares