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A64203 St. Hillaries teares shed upon all professions from the judge to the petty fogger from the spruce dames of exchange to the durty walking fishmongers : from the coven-garden lady of iniquity to the turne-bal-streete-trull and indeed from the tower-staires to Westminster ferry : for want of a stirring midsomer terme this yeare of disasters, 1642 / written by one of his secretaries that had nothing else to doe. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1642 (1642) Wing T508; ESTC R15224 5,194 8

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are very infidells in trusting and will not forbeare a minute Nay the mischiefe on 't is there are no Courtiers nor bad paymaisters to curse and raile at for want of money and that 's the heaviest torment of all If you step aside into Coven-Garden long Acre and Drury Lune where those Doves of Venus those Birds of youth and beauty the wanton Ladies doe build their nests you shall finde them in such a dump of amazement to see the hopes of their trading frustrate their beauties decaied for want of meanes to procure Pomatum and F●●ous Their eyes which like glistering comets had wont to dazle their Idolaters now shadowed with clowds of griefe their golden tresses which had wont to flag about their shoulders like so many ensignes in Cupides Regiment and every haire thereof had a servant or visitant which did superstitiously dote on it now for want of curling and ordering growne to the fashion of an Irish rugge And what a misery it is to see the Velvets Sattins and Taffaties nay the curious smockes sent to the brokers and the whole wardrope that was purchast with so large a proportion of free favours and communities now reduc't to one pore tufted holland suit It is not pitty to see them pore soules who had wont to shine like so many constellations in the Firmament of the suburbs and be hurried in Coaches to the Tavernes and Sparagus Gardens where ten or twenty pounds suppers were but trifles with them should now goe to the Chandlers and herbe-wives in slip-shooes for Cheese and Onions to dinner Well content your selves you attractive Load-stones of delicious and smooth damnation And doubtlesse the Arch-angell my successor will bring your angells to redeeme all And your Champions and Cavaliers will returne with their pockets doubly furnisht for you are as sure of them as they are of your diseases They are now but only purchasing and laying up for you against their comming home This dearth of traffique is but a preparation to a large mart to follow and this devowring winter of penury doth but presage a lively spring in the hot blouds of the young Gallantry which when it comes you shall againe enjoy those blessings of Wine musique good clothes money and dainty fare be enabled to pay your rayling Land-ladies and defie the beadle with as much impudence as ever you did Well from you I must follow the steps of many an old Letcherous Citizen and walke into London where at the Exchange the onely question that is ask't is what news not from Aleppo Constantinople the Straits or Indies but from Yorke Ireland and the Parliament the answer is why the King is still obstinate wee shall have all our throats cut those Expicurean throats of ours are doom'd to be cut for swallowing so many luxurious ca●es we had neede to prick up our eares and elevate our broad overgrown hornes for the safty of our selves estates and children marry as for our Wives they know well enough already the danger of Courtiers and Cavaliers and therefore dare meete the roughest Gamester of them all in any posture whatsoever From hence I travell to Guild-Hall where I finde the Lawyers complaining of infinite numbers of Banckerouts men so far decayed in estate that they will compound to pay more then halfe confesse judgments render their bodies to prison prostitute their wives or any thing rather then stand out the prosecution of a suit at Law Then at the Halls of every severall Company where in former ages all the Elements would scarce afford variety to please the ingenuous gluttony of one single feast now you shall heare the meaner sort of Tradesmen cursing those devowring Foxes the Masters and Wardens for the infinite charge their insatiate stomackes do put them to from hence goe to their particular shops where there is nothing amongst the Tradesmen but condoling the want of the Courtiers mony and their wives and daughters almost distracted for want of their company There are no upstart Gallants to draw into their bookes no yong● heires to exchange shopware for Lordships withall nor any trading ●ut one with another in which they are so familiarly acquainted with each others knaveries that alas their gaines are as good as nothing And amongst them all that quintessence of unquestionable simplicity the very spirit of villany extracted out of all compounded villanies That Masterpeece or Idea of dissimulation which nature made her example to portraicture a Rogue by the Round-head who had wont to eate and pray for the propagation of the Brethren and sisters of the sedicious faction now is invoking of curses upon the malignant party the Achitophells as hee calls them of the Kings Counsell hee sneakes into the corners of the City and after a licking of his lipps a spitting and a casting up his ugly eyes towards the place hee is not worthy to looke at hee whispers a tale through his rotten Nose of a great danger that is falling upon the Kingdome And strange discoveries of imminent mischiefes which had happened if by some providence towards the Brethren of the selected sedition and for their sakes onely it had not beene prevented And then at length he tells you that if the Prince were but at Saint Jameses there would be something done that Saint Hillary dares not repeate after him This thin-jaw'd illooking hungry rascall this betle-brow'd hollow-ey'd longnos'd wide-mouth'd cur This carrion that stincks worse then the corrupted River of Egypt This Cockatrise that hath hatch't more Serpentine distempers then all the grave wisdome of a pregnant Kingdome can pacifie hath beene the sole cause of poore S. Hillaries Teares Who would thinke that this Ideot this Fathomlesse-bellyed Thingutted Snake should begin to hisse and shew his sting before the glorious splendor of those excellent worthies of our hope full Parliament could have leasure to disperse it selfe upon this ●●ved Kingdome that this Owle this Buzzard should be the instrument to bring clouds upon all their proceedings and yet without doubt will be the first that will oppose and curse them when they shall please to declare that in the title of Puritane they never entended blewapron Preachers Brownist or Anabaptist And yet this secure confident impudent malignant twenty times dam'd Heretique dares attribute all their favour to himselfe well may Saint Hillaries curse pursue him Nay the unquenchable zeale of his next Prayer prolong the nonsence and foolery thereof to so large a measure of time that all the Roast-meate be burn't off the spit before hee have done the White-broth boyled dry and the stew'd and back't meate scorch't to cinders which in his opinion is one of the greatest earthly curses that can befall him May his wife be catch't in the spirituall act of her next carnall copulation that all the World may discover what yet they carry so closely may the fervency of his hot zeale to the younger sisters burne his reines and kindneyes to ashes and in stead of an Hospitall let him be cast into the Sawpit hee so often defiled under pretence of edification Let him be burried amongst the Dunghills as not worthy to come neere the Church he so abused where none may finde his grave but Dogs to pisse against it may the ashes of his loath'd carcase be collected from the pestiferous urne by Murderers and Mountebancks to mix with their killing potions And may no poysons ever hereafter be operative but what is compounded with that infernall dust that as he liv'd to the confusion of all goodnesse and vertue so hee may after death be knowne or mentioned by no other notion then some fateboading character that brings with it the dreadfull summons of a woefull horrour to ensue till which end be fallen upon him we shall never see day of good trading againe but when it is accomplish't S. Hillary will make a Holiday and in stead of his Teares will send you himnes and madrigalls for joy of the Roundheads confusion and your more sull imployment FINIS