is a much Sweeter so it would be a more Magnificent and better City than that of Paris It lies Commodiously in a Plain flat and level where are no Hills to annoy it and therefore might be made impregnable As for the Fort near St. Austin's Gate The Bastile called the Bastile said to be built by the English when they were Lords of Paris 't is too little to Protect the Town and too low to Command it and serves only for a Prison to the better Sort that have no more Wit than to be Taken Paris is no strong Place and if Henry IV. lay so long before it with his Army it was not because he could not take it but because he would not He was loth as the Lord Biron advised him to receive the Bird naked which he expected ere long with all its Feathers and this Answer he gave the Lord Willoughby who undertook to force an Entry into it The Streets are of a competent breadth The Streets of Paris well Pitch'd under Foot with fair large Pebbles by Philip Augustus Anno 1223. before which time it was miserable Dirty and almost unpassable and as it is now every little Rain makes it very stippery and dangerous and a continuance of warm Weather makes it stink horribly and becomes very Poisonous but whether it proceeds from the nature of the Ground the Sluttishness of the People in their Houses or the neglect of the Scavengers or from all of them I will not determine This I am confident of that the nastiest Lane in London or Westminster is Frankencense and Juniper to the sweetest Streets in Paris The ancient By-word was It stains like the Dirt of Paris but had I power to make a Proverb I would change it into It stinks like the Dirt of Paris and then the By word would be ten times more Orthodox for though I have said something of the strength of the Town and its Fortification without doubt the Venom of the Streets and the Sluttery of the People is a greater security to the Town than all the Ditches Forts Towers and Bulwarks that belong to it 'T was therefore not injudiciously said of an English Gentleman in Railery The strongest City in Europe that Paris was the strongest Town in Europe alluding to the noisom smells for it is a Place of such strange Qualities that you can't live in it in Summer without danger of being Suffocated with stink nor in Winter without myring The Buildings The Houses and Signs in Paris I confess are Handsom and Uniform to the Streetward but London is much finer and the Houses better furnish'd and contriv'd Their Houses are distinguished by Signs as with us and under every Sign is written in Capitals what Sign it is nor is it more than needs for to tell that this is a Cock and this a Bull was never more requisite in the Infancy of Painting than now in this City for so hideously and without Resemblance to the thing signified are most of their Signs that I may without danger say if a Hen would not scratch better Pictures on a Dunghill than they hang out before their Doors I would send her to my Hostess at Tostes to be Executed The chief Artists in Paris The Artificers in Paris are a slovenly Generation in their Trades as well as in their Houses and Barbers Fidlers Dancers and Taylors are the only fine Fellows among them Their most curious Artists are Makers of Combs Tweezers Tooth-Picks and Comb-Brushes Their Mercers are but one degree above Pedlers and Lumbard-street has more Goldsmiths in it than this whole City and Suburbs Merchants they have not many nor wealthy and that one should give twenty thousand Pound with a Daughter as in England was never heard of in this Kingdom The Town subsists by the King's Court How the Town subsists and the great Resort of Advocates and Clients to the Chambers of Parliament and without these two Crutches Paris would get such a vile Halting 't would scarce be able to stand If you credit their Apparel Their Riches and judge of their Estates by their Cloths you would think them worth Millions but alass you don't know them for when a French-man has his best Cloths on he is in the middle of his Estate and carries his Lands and Tenements about him Paris is divided into four parts La Ville Paris consists of four Parts the City lying on this side the River Seine La Universite and that which they call the Cite situate between both the Streams in a little Island and the Suburbs which they call the Faux Bourgs severed a pretty distance from the City and are distinct Bodies from it The greatest part of the Houses in them are Old and without Uniformity The Faux Bourg of St. Jaques is indifferent and excelled by that of St. Germain The Faux Bourg of St. Martin is commended for the great Pest-House in it built by Henry IV. Quadrangularly 'T is large and capacious and at a distance for it is not safe venturing nigh or within it It looks more like a King's Palace than the King's Palace it self The best of all the Suburbs is St. Germain's and has a good Abby in it that maintains 120 Monks 'T was built by Childerick Anno 542. and Dedicated to St. Vincent but since has chang'd its Name to St. Germain from a Bishop of Paris who was buryed in it besides this there is in it a Magnificent Palace scarce to be fellow'd in Europe 't is called Luxenbourg Palace and another call'd the Prince of Conde's Palace In the Ville The Government of Paris or Town of Paris are Thirteen Parish Churches Seven Gates and is Govern'd by two Provosts The Provost de Paris and le Provost des Merchands and the place of Judicature is the Grand Castolet and l' Hostelle de Ville The Provost of Paris has to his Assistance three Lieutenants the Criminal the Civil and the Particuleir which supplies in the absence of the other besides other Officers more than a good many The Provost of the Merchands whose business is to preserve the Privileges of the Citizens is assisted by the two Eschevins as Sheriffs twenty four Counsellors and a Procurator like the Common-Council and Recorder of London whose Habits are half Red and half Sky-Colour'd This Provost is generally belov'd by the Citizens as the Conservator of their Liberties and the others fear'd and hated as the Judges of their Lives and the Tyrants of their Estates In this Ville is also the Kings Arsenal The Arsenal or Magazine of War begun by Henry II. and finish'd by Charles IX to which has been many considerable Additions since Here is also the Place Royal The Place Royal. built in form of a Quadrangle every Square being seventy two Fathoms long the Materials Brick of divers Colours which makes it very pleasant but less durable It is Cloister'd round like the Royal Exchange of London It is situate
France and has yielded more Constables Mareschals and Admirals to this Crown than any three others in the Kingdom The most eminent place in this Isle Mont Martyr is Mont Martyr about a Mile from Paris where when Gaul was Heathen many of the Faithful were Martyred and from thence derived its Name Among others which here received the Crown of Martyrdom none more famous than St. Denis said to be Dionysius Areopagita the first Bishop of Paris under the Reign of Domitian whose Crime was refusing to Bow before the Altar of Mercury and not offering Sacrifice to that Idol at the command of Hesubinus Governour of Paris Of St. Denis the Patron St. Denis and his Miracle or Tutelary Saint of France the Legend relates strange Wonders as namely when the Executioner had struck off his Head he took it up in his Arms and ran with it down the Hill with as much speed as his Legs could carry him Half a Mile from the Place of his Execution he sate down rested and did so nine times in all till he came to the place where the Church is now built that is Dedicated to him and there he fell down and dyed which is about three English Miles from Mont Martyr and there he was Buried together with Rusticus his Arch-Priest and Elutherius his Deacon who not being able to go so fast as he did were brought after by the People O Impudentia admirabilem vere Romanam and yet so far was the succeeding Age poison'd with a belief of this Miracle that in the nine several Places where he is said to have rested so many handsome Crosses of Stone are erected to perpetuate this Ridiculous Story To the Memory of this Saint St. Denis 's Church by whom Consecrated Dagobert built a Temple after Ages added a Town to it and some of the succeeding Kings of France encompassed it with a Wall but so disproportionable that it looks like a Spaniards little Face with a two handed Ruff about it The Temple being finish'd a Bishop was sent for in all hast to Consecrate it but our Saviour came the Night before with the Apostles Angels and Martyrs and Blessed the Church himself cured a Leper that lay in it and bid him tell the Bishop that the Church was already Consecrated Auditam admissi Risum teneatis You may laugh at it if you please but I assure you this is the Story such Ridiculous Stuff did the Monks and Fryars of those Times invent to please and blind the People and so prone were our Ancestors to believe as Oracles whatsoever was delivered by these Impostors Now Sir The Relicks in St. Denis 's Church I should shew you the Relicks but you must have patience till the Clerk has put on his Surplice for I perswade my self that the Surplice without the Clerk could Marshal the Relicks as orderly as the Clerk without the Surplice As soon as he was Sadled and Equipt for his Journey he put himself into the Road and march'd on so nimbly there was no keeping of him Company His Tongue run so fast that the quickest Eye was fain to give him over in plain Ground the Fellow that shews the Tombs at Westminster being no more to be compared to him for the Volubility of his Chops than a Capouchin to a Jesuite Yet as we learn'd of him afterward when he was out of his Road and Formalities they were thus disposed On the right hand of the Altar are said to be kept One of the Nails that fastned our Saviour to the Cross Secondly a piece of the Cross it self Thirdly some of the Virgin Mary's Milk Fourthly the Arm of St. Simon set in a Case of Gold and Fifthly the Relicks of St. Lewis reserv'd in a little Chappel of Gold also On the left hand was shew'd us the Head of St. Denis and part of his Body or rather the Pourtraiture of it in Gold for the Head was said to be within it A Reverend Old Man he appear'd to be tho' I can't believe that the rich Crown'd Miter that he wears there now was the same he wore when he was living One Relick is there to which I hope they won't allow Adoration and that was Judas's Lathorn when he went to apprehend his Master A pretty one I confefs it is Studded with Chrystal through which the Light cometh the Substance being not Transparent Had it been shew'd me in the first Century I might perhaps have been Fool'd into a belief of it for I am consident it can be no older However I will believe it to be a Lanthorn though I cannot believe it ever belong'd to Judas but more of Relicks when we come to Paris From the Relicks of Martyrs let us proceed to those of their Kings The Relicks of French Kings in the same Church and among those there is nothing that will long detain an English-man He that has seen the Tombs at Westminster will think the best of these to be but Trifles The chief of these mean ones are those of Henry II. and Katherine of Medices his Wife in a little Chappel of her own building both in full Proportion in their Royal Habiliments Here is also a neat Tomb of the same Henry all of Brass supported by four Brass Pillars his Statue of the same Mettal in a Praying Posture but the chief beauties of the Church are in the Treasury as the Sword of Joan the Virgin Charles the Great Rowland his Couzen and that of Henry IV. when he was Crowned with his Boots Spurs and Scepter Here is also a Cross of pure Gold three Foot high a Crown Scepter and Golden Ball given by Pope Adrian to Carolus Magnus A Crown of Gold set with Diamonds and Precious Stones given by Charles Martell after his Victory over the Sarazens A fair Chalice all of Gold in which St. Denis is said to have Consecrated the Sacramental Wine The other of lesser moment I omit and take my leave of St. Denis's Church and walk on to Paris There is a great bussle among ancient Authors Paris its Names and Scituation from whence this name Paris is deriv'd which I shall not waste time about for I find the names of great Cities are as obscure as those of their Founders and the Conjectural Derivations of them are sometimes rather plausible than probable and sometimes neither The other name of this City is most Ancient and most proper as taken from its Scituation and call'd Lutetia from Lutum Dirt as being seated in an exceeding clammy dirty Soil but in a very Fruitful Country and the River Seine by Transporting Merchants Goods in Boats from the Ships which lie fifteen Miles distant from the City does much enrich it It is in Compass about ten Miles or scarce so much Circular in its figure and is a fair and goodly City yet nothing like the miracle that some would make it for was the figure of London altered and all the Houses cast into a Ring as it
would cheer up themselves and their Neighbours with Vivamus ut bibamus bibamus ut vivamus and would Toy with the Wenches like young Kitlings with their Tails or a Feather The Common-Priests of France are as Dull and Blockish as flitting Beetles Their Learning and for Learning can truly say with Secrates Hoc tantum Scimus quod nescimus we only know this that we know nothing which their Superiors know and therefore in the last Roman Missal every Syllable is diversly mark'd whether the Word must be pronounc'd long or short When I had lost my self in the Streets of Paris and wanted French to enquire my way to my Lodging I would apply my self to some of this Reverend Garb but you might as soon expect Sence from the next Mule as a word of Latin from any of them nor is this the Disease of the Vulgar Mass Mumblers only it has also infected the Right Worshipful of the Clergy In Orleans I had business with a Canon of St. Croix a Dignitary that wore a Lawn Surplice laced with great Decorum and for the comeliness and capacity of his Cap he might have been a Metropolitan perceiving me to speak to him in a strange Tongue for it was Latin he very Learnedly ask'd me Num potestis loqui Gallica I answering No he burst out into another Interrogatory viz. Quam diu fuistis in Gallice To conclude Sir having read over my Letter with two or three deadly Pangs and six times rubbing his Temples he dismissed me with this comfortable Saying Ego negotias vestras curabo a strange Beast in a Biggin and one of the greatest Prodigies of Ignorance that ever I met withall in Mans Apparel Now Our Journey towards Orleans being almost choak'd with the noisomness of Paris we took our Journey towards Orleans The Day was fair and not so much as dispos'd to a Cloud save that about Noon they began to spread like a Curtain to defend us from the Injury of the Sun and the Wind rather sufficient to fan the Air than disturb it You would have thought it Sir a Day meerly fram'd for that great Princess Nature to take her pleasure in and that the Birds which cheerfully gave us their Voices from the neighbouring Bushes had been the Musick of her Court in a word it was a Day solely consecrated to a pleasant Journy and he that did not put it to that use mis-spent it Having cram'd our selves into our Waggon we took a short farewel of Paris joyful that we liv'd to see the beauty of the Fields again and to enjoy the happiness of a free and clear Heaven The Country is like the Isle of France towards Normandy only the Corn-fields were more large and even On our left hand we had a side Glance of the Royal House at Boys and the Castle of Bifectre Four Leagues from Paris is the Town of Mont l' Herrie Mont l' Herrie wherein was nothing observable but the Carcass of a Castle and a Plain about it where was fought that memorable Battle between Lewis XI and Charles the Hardy Duke of Burgundy where each Army run away leaving the Field empty of Forces and yet neither of the Princes Victorious Some scour'd away out of fear to Die and some out of hope to Live that it was hard to say which of the Soldiers made most use of their Heels in the Combat Two Leagues from Mont l' Herrie Chastres is the Town of Chastres seated in the fairest Angle of France where it confines to La Beauss a Town of an ordinary size somewhat bigger than for a Market and too little for a City It has a Wall and a Ditch but neither further serviceable than to resist the Enemy at one Gate while the People run away at the other Over a little River which might be easily mistaken for a Ditch Estampes lies the Country La Beauss through which we Travel'd till the same Night we came to Estampes a Town situate in a plentiful Soil and water'd with a River of the same Name which affords the best Crevices It seems to have been a Town of some consideration formerly as we might read in its Ruins Without the Town is a fine green Meadow where they use their Recreations At my being there Sir the Sport was Dancing an Exercise the French much delight in and it seems this Natural Inclination is so rooted in them that neither Age not the absence of a Fortune can prevail against it On this Dancing Green were assembled not only Youth and Gentry but Old Age and Beggary Old Wives that could scarce set Foot to the Ground without a Crutch in the Street here taught their Feet to amble and you would have thought by the cleanly Conveyance and Carriage of their Bodies they had been troubled with the Sciatica and yet were so eager in the Sport as if their Dancing days would never be over Some were so Ragged that a swift Galiard would almost have shak'd them into Nakedness To have attempted staying them at home or perswading them to work when they heard the noise of a Fiddle had been a Task too unweildy for Hercules In this mixture of Age and Condition we observ'd them in their Pastimes the Rags being so interwoven with Silks and wrinkl'd Brows so intermingled with their fresh Beauties that you would have thought it a Mummery of Fortunes as for those of both Sexes which were altogether past Action they were brought thither in Chairs and trod the Dancing Measures with their Eyes The Inn we lay in was just like those of Normandy Another way of Begging in an Inn. and all the difference we found was in the Morning for there we were not troubled with such importunate Begging as in that Country These had learn'd a more Neat and Compendious way of getting Money and Petition'd not our Ears but our Noses by the Rhetorick of a Nose-gay and by presenting us with a Tuft of dead Flowers seem'd rather to Buy than Beg our Bounties A sweeter and more generous kind of Craving than used in Normandy and such as imply'd a lucky Contradiction for what is it else that a Maid should offer her self to be Deflowr'd without prejudice to her Modesty and raise a Fortune for her future Husband by the Usury of a Kindness Refresh'd with these Favours Angerville we took our leaves of Estampes and the Dancing Miscellany jogging on through many a beautiful Field of Corn till we came to Angerville which was six Leagues distant Here was nothing memorable but that the Town had been taken by Mountacute Earl of Salisbury as he went this way to the Siege of Orleans The same Fate befel Touray a Place not much beyond it in strength or bigness only it had more confidence as Mr. Savage an English Gentleman once said in the Walls of Bones that were within it than in the Walls of Stones which were without it This Town stands in the midway betwixt Estampes
d' Armie Pont d' Armie now scarce visible in its Ruines Three Leagues down this River is Abbeville Abbeville conveniently seated on the River Soame which runs through it 'T is bigger than Amiens but not so beautiful nor populous for the Houses are of an old Impression and there is much waste Ground within it A Castle it once had but now that defect is supply'd by Mounts and Bastions large and capacious which if well Man'd need nor yield upon the first Summons Without the Wall it is diversly strengthned in some places with deep Ditches full of Water the others only by a Boggish Marish Fenny Level more dangerous to an Enemy and serviceable to the Town than all the rest of its Fortifications and therefore never guarded by the Soldters of the Garrison They only keep Guard at Port de Boys and Port St. Valery the first looks towards Hesden a Frontier Town of Artois and the other towards the Haven of St. Valery from which Places most danger was fear'd July the last we took Post-Horses Our Journey to Bullogn on Post-Horses or things very like them for Bulloign as lean and poor were the Steeds as Envy in the Poet Maries in corpora tota was their Character for you might not only have counted their Ribs but the Spur-galls had made such Casements through their Skins that you might have Survey'd their Intrails and given a better Account of the position of their Guts and Piping Lungs than Le Grey or Markham in their Master-Pieces A strange kind of Cattle in my Opinion they were and such as had neither Flesh on their Bones Skin on their Flesh nor scarce Hair on their Skins Sure I am they were no Kin to Ovid's Horses of the Sun nor could we say of them Flammiferis implent hinnitibus auras For all the Neighing we could hear from the Proudest of them was only an old dry Cough which they brought from the late Campagne in Flanders which in earnest was a great comfort to me for by that noise I perceived there was some Life in them Upon such Skeletons of Horses or heaps of Bones did I or my Companions never see our selves before and yet the Monsieurs that Travel'd with us thought themselves well Mounted and cock'd and look'd as great as the little Gentleman that Rides in Triumph before the Bears and Bag-Pipes in London and almost scratched their Behinds as often When we expected however to find something of the Post in them having Brib'd them on both sides they began to move in an Alderman's pace or like Envy in Ovid. Surgit humi pigre passuque incedet inerti and out of this Melancholy Gravity no perswasion could urge them the dull Jades were grown insensible of the Spur and to hearten them with Wands would in a short time have distressed the Country for want of Wood. Now was the Cart at Diepe thought a speedy Conveyance and we envy'd the happiness of those that were blessed with a Waggon though it came with the hazard of the old Wife and the two smutty Wenches If good Nature or a Fright in the Journey did ever put any of them into a pace like a Gallop we were sure to have them Tire in the middle of our Stage and put us with our own Feet to measure out the rest of our Journey Weary of this Trade I made bold to dismount the Postilion and ascended the Trunk-Horse where I sate in such a Magnificent Posture that the best Carrier in Paris would have envy'd my Felicity Behind me I had a good large Trunk and a Portmantle before me a bundle of Cloaks and a parcel of Books So that if my Stirrups could poize me equally on both fides I could not fall backwards nor forwards Thus preferred I encouraged my fellow Travellers who cast many an envious Eye upon my happiness and there was not one of them that might not justly have said of me Tu as un Millieur temps que le Pape Monstreville and its Garrison Thou hast a better time on 't than the Pope in all his Grandeur On the Right Hand and almost in the Midway between Abbeville and Bulloign we left the Town of Monstreville which we had no leisure than our Horses to visit It is conveniently seated either for command or resistance being built upon the top and declivity of a Hill well Fortified with Bastions and Ramparts on the outside and within has a good Garrison of Soldiers And indeed it concerns the King of France to look well to this important Place being a border Town within two Miles of Artois and the taking of it would cut off all Intercourse between the Countries of Bulloign and Calais with the rest of France and of the like consideration are the Towns of Abbeville Amiens and St. Quintin We are now come to the Country of Bullinnois which though a part of Picardy Bulloign disdains to be counted so and will be esteemed as a Country of it self It comprehends Bulloin Escapes Neuf-Chastel and divers little Villages and consists of Hills and Valleys after the manner of England Nor is it only a Country of it self but in a manner a free Country for it is held immediately of the Virgin Mary who without Question is a very Gracious Land-Lady for her Tenants enjoy a perpetual Exemption from many Tributes and Taxations with which the rest of France are miserably afflicted Amongst others from that of Salt by reason whereof and the goodness of their Pastures they make the best Butter in all the Kingdom and a Firkin of it is a very acceptable Present at Paris The Town of Bullorgn is divided into the Upper and lower distant from one another abour a hundred Paces The lower Town is bigger than the Upper which is called the City better built the Streets larger and the People richer most of the Merchants inhabiting here for the conveniency of the Haven The Upper Town is environ'd with deep Ditches a strong Wall a treble Gate and two Draw-Bridges a little Town it is not above a flights shot over in the widest Place and has but one Church in it besides Nostre-Dame which is the Cathedral The Streets not many and those narrow except in the Market-place where the Corps du Gard is kept What the Out-works are or whether it hath any I cannot tell for though it be a time of Peace and they very fond of it their Jealousie would not permit me to walk upon the Wall either within or without the Town and I wish that we were not inferior to our Neighbours in the greatness of their Care since we are equal to the best of them in the goodness of our Country On Monday the 28th of August Mr. N. took Shipping for England with a fair Wind I wish him a good Voyage and these Papers safe in your Hands with assurance that while I continue in France you shall have a further Account of what occurs here to SIR Your Humble Servant Eugenius Philo-Patriae FINIS