Selected quad for the lemma: city_n
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A08262
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No-body, and some-body· With the true chronicle historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants.
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1606
(1606)
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STC 18597; ESTC S113225
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33,975
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70
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all stryfe ends thy wit has made two proude shrewes perfect friends Exeunt Enter in state Elidure Cornwell Martianus Morgan and all the Lords Corn. A third time liue our gratious soueraigne Monarch of England crowned by these hands Elid. A third time Lords I do returne your loue And wish it with my soule so heauen were pleasd My ambitious Brothers had not died for this But we haue giuen them honorable graues Enter Queen and Lady And mournd their most vntimely funerall My loued Queen come seat thee by my side Partner in all my sorrowes and my ioyes And you her reconciled Sister sit By her in second place of maiesty It ioyes me that you haue outworne your pride Lady Methinks my gratious husband and my King I neuer tooke more pleasure in my glasse Then I receiue in her society Queen Nor I in all my state as in her loue Elid. My Lord of Cornwell whos 's that whispers to you Or what 's the newes Corn. My liege he tels me heere 's a great contention betwixt two noted persons of the Land much spoke of by all states one some-body Hath brought before your highnes and this presence An infamous and strange opiniond fellow Cald No-body they would intreat your highnes To heare their matters scand Elid. Wee le sit in person on their controuersies Admit them Cornwell Lady Is that strange monster tooke somuch renownd In Citty Court and Country for lewd prancks T is well wee l heare how he can purge himselfe Enter some-body bringing in No-body and his man with Billes and staues Som. now sirrha we haue brought you before the king Where 's your hart now Nob. My harts in my hose but my face was neuer ashamed to shew it selfe yet before king or Keyser som. And where 's your hart sirrha Clowne My harts lower then my hofe for mine it at my heel but whersoeuer it is it is a true hart and so is not somb som. Health to your Maiestie and to the Queene With a hart lower then this humble earth whereon I kneele I beg against this fellow Iustice my liege Eli. Against whom som. Against No-body No. My liege his words wel sute vnto his thoughts He wishes no man Iustice being composd Of all deceit of subtilty and slight For mine own part if in this royall presence And before all these true iudiciall Lords I cannot with sincerenes cleare my selfe Of all suggestions falsly coynd against me Let me be hangd vp sunning in the ayre And made a scar-crow Mar. Le ts heare his accusations And then how well thou canst aquit thy selfe som. First when this monster made his residence Within the country and disperst his shape Through euery shire and country of the Land Where plenty had before a quiet seat And the poore commons of the Land were full With rich abundance and saciety At his ariue great dearths and scarsity By ingrosing come and racking poore mens rents This makes so many poore and honest Farmers to sell their leases and to beg their bread this makes so many beggers in the Land Corn. I but what proofe or lawfull euidence Can you bring forth that this was done by him som. My Lord I tras't him and so found him out But should your Lordship not beleeue my proofe Examine all the rich and wealthy chuffes Whose full cramd Garners to the roofes are fild In euery dearth who makes this scarsitye And euery man will clearely quit himselfe Then consequently it must be No-body Base copper money is stampt the mint disgrast Make search who doth this euery man cleares one So consequently it must be No-body Besides whereas the nobles of the land And Gentlemen built goodly manner houses Fit to receiue a King and all his traine And there kept royall hospitality Since this intestine monster No-body Dwels in these goodly houses keepes no traine A hundred Chimnies and not one cast smoke And now the cause of these mock-begger Hal Is this they are dwelt in by No-body For this out of the countrey he was chast No. My royall liedge whie am I thus disgrast I le proue that slandrous wretch hath this al done Elid. T is good you can acquit you such abuses Growe in the countrey and vnknowne to vs nay then no maruell that so manie poore starue in the streets and beg from doore to doore Then sirha purge you from this countrey blame Or we will make thee the worlds publike shame Corn. now No-body vvhat can you say to this Clo. My M. hath good cards on his side I le vvarant him No. my Lord you knovv that slanders are no proofes nor vvords without their present euidence If things were done they must be done by some-body Else could they haue no being Is corne hoorded some-body hords it else it would be delt In mutuall plentie throughout all the land Are their rents raisd if No-body should doe it then should it be vndone Is Base money stampt and the kings letters forgd Some-body needes must doe it therefore not I And where he saies great houses long since built Lye destitute and wast because inhabited By No-body my liedge I answer thus If Some-body dwelt therein I would giue place Or wold he but alow those chimnies fire They would cast cloudes to heauen the Kitchin-foode It would releeue the poore the sellers beere It would make strangers drinke but he commits These outragies then laies the blame on me And for my good deed I am made a scorne I onely giue the tired a refuge seat The vnclothd garments and the starued meate Clow. How say you by this maister Some-body I beleeue you will be found out by and by Corn. If this be true my liedge as true it is Some-body will be found an arrant cheater Vnlesse he better can acquit himselfe Sich. Touch him with the citty since you haue taken the foile in the Countrey Mar. Sirha what can you say to this Someb. What should I saie my Lord see heare complaints Made in the citty against no-body Aswell as in the country See their bils Heere 's one complaines his wife hath bin abroad And asking where she reuels night by night She answers she hath bin with no-body Heare 's queanes maintaind in euery suburb streete Aske who maintaines them and t is no-body Watches are beaten and Constables are scoft In dead of night men are made drunke in tauernes Girles loose their maiden heads at thirteene yeares Pockets pickt and purses cut in throngs Queene Inough inough doth no-body all this Though he hath cleard himselfe from country crimes He cannot scape the citty No. Yes dread Queene I must confesse these things are daily done For which I heere accuse this Some-body That euery where with slaunders dogs my steps And cunningly assumes my borrowed shape Women lie out if they be tooke and found with somebody then No-body goes cleere Else the blames mine he doth these faults vnknowne then slanders my chast innocence for proofe somebody doth maintaine a common strumpet i
th Garden-allies and vndid himselfe somebody swaggered with the watch last night was carried to the counter somebody once pickt a pocket in this Play-house yard Was hoysted on the stage and shamd about it Clow. Ha ha hath my maister met with you no. Alasse my liege your honest No-bodie Builds Churches in these dayes and Hospitals Releeues the seuerall prisons in the Citty Redeemes the needy debtor from the hole And when this somebody brings infant children And leaues them in the night at strangers doores Nobody fathers them prouides them nurses What should I say your highnes loue I craue That am all iust corn Then somebodie 's a knaue sicoph. If neyther citty nor countrie wil preuaile to him with the court ma somebody and there you will match him som. Then touching his abuses in the court corn I marrie Nobody what say you to this See heere are dangerous Libils gainst the state And no name to them therefore nobodies Mar. Besides strange rumors and false buzzing tales Of mutinous leesings raisd by No-body Malg. False dice and Cheating brought euen to the presence and who dares be so impudently knauish Vnlesse some fellow of your name and garbe Morg. Cards of aduantage with such cheating tricks Brought euen amongst the noblest of the land And when these cosening shifts are once discouered There is no cheater found saue No-body som. How canst thou answer these nobo. Euen as the rest Are libels cast if nobody did make them And no-bodies name to them they are no libels For he that sets his name to any slander Makes it by that no libell this aproues He forgd those slanderous writs to scandall me And for false cards and dice let my great slops And his big bellied dublet both be sercht And see which harbors most hipocrisie queene Let them both be sercht sico. I le take my leaue of the presence Clow. nay M. sicophant wee le haue the inside of your pockets translated to wee le see what stuffyng they haue I le take a little paines with you Elid. What haue you there in nobodyes pockets Corn. Here are my liedge bonds forfeit by poore men Which he releast out of the vsurers hands And canceld Leases likewise forfeited By him repurchast These peticions Of many poore men to preferre their sutes Vnto your highnesse Elid. Thou arte Iust we know All great mens pockets should be lined so queene What bumbast beares his gorge Mar. False Cards false Dice The kings hand counterfeit Bonds put in sute to gaine the forfitures forgd deedes to cheate men of their ancient land And thousand such like trashe Clo. Nay looke you heere heares one that for his bones is pretily stuft Heare 's fulloms and gourds heere 's tall-men low-men Heere tray duce ace passedge comes a pace som. Mercy great King Sicoph. Mercy my Soueraigne Corn. My liedge you cannot to be seuere in punishing Those monstrous crimes the onely staine and blemish To the weale-publike Eli. Villaines heare your doome Thou that hast bin the oppressyon of the poore Shalt bee more poore then penury it selfe All that thou hast is forfit to the Law For thy extortion I will haue thee branded Vpon the forhead with the letter F. For Cheating whipt for forging loose thine eares Last for a basing of thy Soueraignes Coyne And traitrous impresse of our kingly seale Suffer the death of traitors Beare him hence som. Since I must needs be martird graunt me this That No-body may whip or torture me Or hang me for a traitor Morg Away with him Som. Or if needs I must dye a traitors death That No-body may see me when I dye Malg. Hence with the traitor Clo. I know by your complexion you wer ripe for the hangman but now to this leane Gentleman Lady Let me doome him smoth spaniel soothing grome Slicke Oyly knaue egregious parasite Thou turning vane and changing Weather-cocke My sentence is thou shalt be naked stript And by the citty beadles soundly whipt Clow. I le make bold to see th execution No. Well hath the King decreed now by your highnesse patience let No-body borrow a word or two of Euery-body The Epilogue Heer if you wonder why the king Elidurus bestowes nothing on me for all my good seruices in his land if the multitude shuld say he hath preferd No-body Some-body or other would say it were not well done for in doing good to No-body he should but get himselfe an il name Therefore I will leaue my sute to him and turne to you Kinde Gentleman if any-body heere dislike No-body then I hope Euery-body haue pleased you for being offended with no-body nor Any-body can finde himselfe agrieued Gentlemen they haue a cold sute that haue no-body to speak in their cause and therefore blame vs not to feare yet our comfort is this if no-body haue offended you cannot blame No-body for it or rather we will finde Some-body heareafter shall make good the fault that no-body hath done and so I craue the generall grace of Euery-body Eli. now forward Lords long may our glories stand Three sundry times Crownd king of this faire land Exeunt FINIS SOME-BODY