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A42749 The post-boy rob'd of his mail, or, The pacquet broke open consisting of five hundred letters to persons of several qualities and conditions, with observations upon each letter / publish'd by a gentleman concern'd in the frolick. Gildon, Charles, 1665-1724.; Dunton, John, 1659-1733.; Pallavicino, Ferrante, 1615-1644. 1692 (1692) Wing G735A; ESTC R30411 212,135 446

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the perfection of Christian Life consists in honouring the Clergy the King and Country without regard to any private Duties Oh! for all the breach of those answer'd Summer like others of his City Tribe he 'll 〈◊〉 by giving largely to God who had given largely to him as if it were not giving to God said Fou●tain to relieve the necessities of his own Flesh and Blood No no the force of Bigottry and Superstition reply'd Winter have prevail'd on the contrary The Clergy like Father Dominic in the Spanish Fryar concluding that they that are so charitably 〈◊〉 can have no private Transgressions to be redress●d Bigottry said Chappel is a Devotion form'd by the Passions of Mankind and is Hood-winked by Fancy beyond the light of Religion to direct and in matters of this nature 't is very like Hypocrisie setting up publick Monuments of Man's Righteous●ess at the expence of his private Obligations Well may our silly City be guilty of this said Brook when I find so wise a Man as Xenophon under the same Dilemma giving the greatest part of what he had got in his Asiatic Expedition to Megnbyzus Priest of Diana to make an Image of that Goddess and afterward in his retirement at S●illuns by the Advice of the Oracle and the Priest laid it out in a Purch●se of Land to be consecrated to that Goddess I know not concluded Church we talk against Bigottry in Religion but we discover it in all our Actions and e'ry motion of our Vnderstanding not to the Dictates of the Clergy only but to the Opinion ●f others for if some reputed Wit either condemn or praise any thing his Iudgment makes it run the same fate where e're it goes I plead not for Bigotry by this but only shew that 't is a Vice in o●r Natur● ●nd therefore easier found fault with than mended LETTER XXXII From a Vsurer to his Son to take care of getting in the Interest of his Moneys c. 'T was directed to Mr. Wely the younger next door to the Sign of the Cock in Sice-lane London DIC From Epping-Forest Iune 1692 I Charge you on my Blessing to lay out no Money on Cloaths you have had that Suit but a Year and ●alf and I can make a Suit serve me ten Year● go to Mr. Pendal at Greys-Inn Mr. Gamell at his Lodging in the Strand and to Mr. Port in Sobo-Square and tell 'em if I have not forbearance paid down immediately I 'll take the For●eiture of my Mortgages I charge you hearken no more to the Shams of the Lace-man but arrest him immediately and bring an Execution on his Body and Goods for I have a Judgment I shall lose Two hundred Pounds before it has got me twice its value else Be quick in your dispatch and make haste into the Country for the Town is chargeable now you cannot di●e at home Good Dick make haste to Your poor Old Father R. Gold This Man said Church is another of the City Tribe True pursued Temple and Gold is his God as well as Name Fool answer'd Grave is his true Name for he 's not so much a Philosopher as the Dungil-Cock in Aesop who wou'd not give himself the needless trouble of preserving that he could make ●o use of But Man said Winter pursues what he should avoid and avoids what he should pursue Right assumed I none else wou'd for a wretched Debauch and a Bottle bring himself into the Clutches of these Misers their Statutes added River their Banks and Warrants Man said Church is certainly a very stupid kind of Animal that all the Examples of Follies punish'd in the Fore-fathers should not correct the Posterity to more Sense True continu'd Fountain but like People on a full carrier on the Ice all slide directly into the same bole they saw their Companion sink into just before them So many ●●ttring Beaux said Summer being reduc'd too greazy Alsatian Sharpers one would think should ●ake the rest better Husbands No no concluded Brook this Blindness and Folly is necessary for the circulation of Estates as Trade is for that of Money Nature turns private Vices to put publick Advantages LETTER XXXIII Of Courtship from a Quaker directed to Tabitha the Daughter of William Goyle at his House near Chelmsford in Essex Tabitha I Have told thee that the Spirit mov'd me to 〈◊〉 thee to my Bosom and make thee turn the Vessel to me that I might raise up Seed to the Lord and his holy one yea verily when I see 〈◊〉 my heart does yearn like the Daughters of Sio● when they lost their Beloved Have a care Tabit●● let not the wicked Spirit enter thy Tabernacle and ●o defile the vessel of thy Body which was ma●e for the Godly Ha-a-um Ta●itha Friend William thy Father according to the Flesh is full of the Spirit and when he begot thee he begot a Daughter to Sion as stately as the City of Ierusalem and as pleasant as the Mountains of Gilead thy Breath as sweet as the Cedars of Olybanum thy Belly is like the Downs where the Lambs of the Lord should skip and frisk and play Ah! Tabitha my Spirit is mightily troubl'd within me and the outward Man cannot rest till Tabitha receive him in the way of the Godly on her Bosom which is softer than the Lillies of the Vallies The third Day of the Seventh's Month I will come to see thee Who am thy Friend Eliachim Snush Certainly a Quaker in Love said I is like a Monkey sick The Figure I confess said Brook 〈◊〉 needs be very odd In their most serious Actions said Winter one would think them mad what then interrupted Temple must their foolishness be The truth on 't is said Summer they never look like Men but in their Shops Why so interrupted Fountain because they cheat with a Face of 〈◊〉 No other reason can I perceive said ●●appel They are proud said River in the Ha●●● of Humility Professors of Patience in Injuries 〈◊〉 the most violent Revengers of what they 〈◊〉 so And preposterous added Church 〈◊〉 in their Aff●ctation of Humility in a 〈◊〉 plain 〈◊〉 Mant and Peticoat condemning the Country 〈◊〉 in her Bone-lace Coif In his Conversation 〈◊〉 Grave a Hypocrit● in Religion a 〈…〉 Love most certainly a Fool. LETTER XXXIII From Mrs. Brittaign to her Correspondant in the Country T was directed to Mrs. Grummet a Miliner in Canterbury in Kent Mrs. Grummet WInter now coming on the Town will fill 〈◊〉 from beyond Sea and the Nobility out of the County pray see to send me up some delic●● fresh Country Lasses let them be very pretty 〈◊〉 shap'd and limbed no matter how mean a 〈◊〉 Dress and a little Instructions will make 'em 〈◊〉 I have had those off from a Common in 〈◊〉 who have rais'd their Fortunes under me 〈◊〉 been Companions ●or Knights and Lords ●ay 〈◊〉 marry'd some of them too after they had do●● 〈◊〉 good Service let them be very young just 〈◊〉 Man then they
Chinking of the more precious Mettals while there is a Tribute laid upon those Pleasures that Nature so freely and abundantly affords us And what afflictions does not a Lover suffer yet not able to satisfie his Desires through the Covetousness of his Goddess whose common Exercise it is to tear his very Skin from his Flesh There is a Decree of one of the Popes which prefixes for the Payment of a Harlot no more then will Suffice her for one days Victuals If this Law were observ'd these devouring Wolves would not exact such Treasures for a thing in it self both vile and abominable and rather imagin'd for Delight then really found to be So. Or at least as in well regulated Cities where whatever is sold there is hut so much gain in the Price so there should be no more then such a gain allow'd in the Price of Harlots Flesh which being the worst of all Flesh would be very cheap if it were valu'd to its worth Otherwise to suffer their Indiscretion to run at Random is to multiply the Number of Whores since every covetous Woman though naturally not prone to Dishonesty would turn Whore for Gain 's sake so that we should see all the Women running a drift in the Sea of Lasciviousness nor would there be a chast Matron left in any of the Cities of Europe I wish I might not say of the World These dissolute Baggages live in all manner of Luxury splendid in their Furniture their C●o●●hs and their Tables insomuch that Vice being made a 〈◊〉 Commodity will make use of its attractive Violences to ravish the Inclinations of every Woman prone enough to follow it of themselves Kind Heaven afford convenient Remedies to these disorders for the Benefit of the Masculine Sex and the Relive of poor lovers This Fool said Summer never considers that Men were they not restrain'd with the Curb of Payment would run with so much fury to satia●● their Appetites even to the bursting of their Belli●s as we say that they woold kill themselves with lying Scotfree at Rack and Manger Besides said River that some Princes would loose a part of their Revenues as having a considerable Tribute out of the Games of the Harlots I know of no Princes reply'd I who have any such Tribute unless it be the Grand Duke of Florence and the Pope into whom the Sharpness of the Climate infus'd that fine-sp●● Peice of Policy to lay a Tax upon the Brothel-houses I remember said Winter I have many times traded with Brook in the Streights at which the whole Company laught and to the end there might be 〈◊〉 farther reply they presently fell a reading the following Letter LETTER CXXV From an Advocate to his Friend 'T was directed to Mr. Sliford at his House in Canterbury SIR I Have unplum'd the Bird I send it your Lordship together with another of my own tho' of mother sort to the end you may pull off the Skin The Suit so tediously by me prolong'd as it was possible to the end I might squeeze it as long as there was any thing coming is now at last sent back by the Gentleman you know of to yonder place I consign the Handling of it to you as well for the sake of our ancient Friendship as also to the end that lighting upon an Advocate more discreet then I he may have no Cause to complain of my Extortions Be mindful also of my Interests and when you have flead off the Skin send it me back again if possible that I may try my Wits to pick the Bones of it And so concluding I must affectionately kiss your hands See said Summer how some of these Beasts of Advocates use their Clients like Tennis-balls sending 'em from Post to Pillar and tossing them backward and forward till they are quite out of breath Rather said River till they see their very Skins hang in Rags about their Bodies And therefore 't was well said of one that suits were the Hell of this World since there cannot be found more spiteful Devils then some Advocates who with a monstrous Cruelty squeeze their Clients till they press out the Blood In short said I He that made Mercury the God of Sciences and the God of Thieves both together had an eye only upon those Men whose knowledge only serves 'em to ravish and steal This is an evident Truth replied Grave and therefore needs no other Comments And so a new Letter was open'd to be read LETTER CXXVI Containing an Information of Parnassus against the modern men of Learning 'T was directed to Sir Tho. at his House in Wendover SIR YOur Worship repeats your Importunities that I would send you some News I have no way to comply with your Desires in regard the hurry of the Wars prevent me there of a speedy conveyance Nor would they afford me an opportunity but only to accumulate a company of Lyes which every body forges according to their own Fanci●s I shall therefore only tell ye of an Accident of which Par●assus was not many days ago the Theater there has been brought out of that Country Esculapius Physician to Apollo's Majesty he came into this City to cure a Spaniard who from a very mean Extraction being rais'd to Preferment tho' 〈◊〉 not the greatest importance was troubl'd with a ●●●eightness of his Breast not being able to breath 〈◊〉 the swelling of his Ambition augmented by the ●ind of his new Honours This Esculapius gave us an account in what man●●r Apollo was pleas'd to divert himself with the 〈◊〉 of a sumptuous Banquet upon the late 〈◊〉 of certain Princes at his Court having several times heard of the Excellency of the modern learned 〈◊〉 who are the Cooks of Parnassus he was 〈◊〉 to ascertain himself of the Truth upon this opportunity whereupon he set forth an Order That every one with his particular Viands should 〈◊〉 out the Messes for this Table Every one will●●gly embraced the occasion to make known his 〈◊〉 Virtue wherein every one presum'd tho' the 〈◊〉 Scribler a glorious Advantage above the 〈◊〉 but his Majesty resolved to see the Prepara●●●●● before the Invitation that he might not be 〈◊〉 at by such great Personages He thought 〈◊〉 himself that there were many Fools who am●●tiously thrust themselves into the Roll of Virtu●s● that he imagin'd there would some unlucky Ex●●vagance happen if as he foresaw it was likely to 〈◊〉 out he did not provide against the Inconve●●ence To this purpose he was conducted by his Cham●●lain into a spacious Hall where upon several Ta●●● the Dishes were set in order that were to be 〈◊〉 up at this splendid Feast At the first sight 〈◊〉 Basons of Radishes offer'd themselves when of sudden Apollo smiling I know said he whose Dish 〈◊〉 is that though I understood not the quality the Food this would demonstrate to me the ●●sture wherein he who has presented it with his 〈◊〉 Pride would have the rest proceed I won●●● added he that the Spaniards alwaies bringing