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A63893 Choice experiences of the kind dealings of God before, in, and after conversion laid down in six general heads : together with some brief observations upon the same : whereunto is added a description of true experience / by J. Turner. Turner, J. (Jane) 1653 (1653) Wing T3294; ESTC R27571 50,831 242

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a confusion in my heart that I knew not what to do by which I was again hindered from my duty being willing to try that doctrine I not having heard the like before it being full of entising words of mans wisdome which I did with as much diligence try for some time examining the Scriptures about it as ever I did any doctrine but could find nothing in it but confusion a meer sound of words some of those bigge swelling words of vanity spoken of Jude 16. 2 Pet. 2. 18. so through mercy I left it and escaped that snare which I desire to remember to the praise of God Then I resolved to prosecute my former purpose in relation to those duties before mentioned yet still lingring in Babylon till the Lord was pleased by a stretched-out arm and cleer voice to bring to my remembrance those words in the 22. chapter of the Acts verse 6. Arise and be baptized why tarryest thou and as I remember for some daies together whatever I was doing those words were much in my thoughts then I began to take particular notice of it applying it to my own condition whether I was able to give a reason why I tarried the Lord having removed all my scruples and answered all my obj●ctions and speaking of it to my Husband who was then much in the same condition I remember we had some discourse about it and the result was that the next first day we would go to the Church where we had often heard and declare what God had done for us in the great work of conversion desiring also to obey him in all his commands which accordingly we did and gave them full satisfaction and the week following were baptized and added to the Church being sweetly satisfyed and comforted therein and as for my former scruples I was troubled no more with them and in particular as to hearing out of the Church I never desired it since but God was pleased and still is to satisfy me with the fatness of his house feeding me with green pastures there and sitting under the shadow of Christ his Fruit is sweet to my tast which the LORD grant I may be found so doing as he hath commanded until his second comming Some brief Observations upon this fourth Note of Experience FIrst Concerning those thoughts that though I had nothing to do to be saved yet I had much to do to glorify God c. from thence I observe That as it is the duty of all that have received the Grace of God to be active for his Glory so it is the nature of Grace to teach and engage Saints to do the same Secondly Concerning my ignorance of Baptism and other Ordinances notwithstanding all my former Experience in point of Faith from thence I observe That persons may have much Experience in point of privilege and yet be ignorant of their duty As indeed we are more apt to learn the one than the other Thirdly Concerning my ignorance of that which is so plainly expressed in Scripture from thence I observe That light discovers darkness and though Truth be never so plainly expressed yet ignorance cannot apprehend it Fourthly Concerning those interruptions and temptations that kept me from my duty from thence I observe That naturally we are so averse to duty that we are a long time before we know our duties and when we know them we are subject to be kept from doing them by very trifles and that it is Satans policy if he cannot keep us from knowing our duties to cast stumbling-blocks in our way if possible to keep us us from doing them 2. I observe That though Christs yoak be easie yet we are hardly brought to put it on Fifthly Concerning the first hinderance That I thought it some Bondage to be in a Church from thence I observe That through ignorance of the nature of Christian Liberty we are too subject to think that Bondage which is not only Liberty but a great Privilege Sixthly Concerning the second hinderance which was the unsuitable walkings of some particular persons then in the Church from thence I observe That the Consideration of our stumbling at the failings of others should make us carefull lest we occasion others to stumble at us Seventhly Concerning the third hinderance That it was our liberty whether we would walk in Churches and submit to Ordinances or not from thence I observe That we are naturally so addicted to liberty that we are many times ready to cast off all obedience and to look on the Ordinances of Christ as indifferent things Eighthly Concerning the fourth hinderance Fearing lest I had not faith enough to suffer for it from thence I observe That distrustfull thoughts of future mercies many times keep us from improving present mercies Ninethly Concerning those Convictions that though I was scrupled about truth yet could not leave it so but endeavoured after full satisfaction from thence I observe That strong Convictions are not easily put out and where grace is predominant there will be an endeavour not to smother but to answer them Tenthly Concerning that other hinderance by strange doctrine from thence I observe That as faith comes by hearing so there may be a hearing that tends to the prejudice of faith And such I conclude is all hearing out of the way of God though some more some lesse I mean publick hearing out of the Church of God and though some do iudge it their liberty and privilege so to do I must needs confess I cannot so iudge For though possibly glorious things may be spoken yet what privilege can it be for Saints to hear glorious things where there is no promise of a blessing from God and therefore I may say as the Apostle of speaking in an unknown tongue I had wrather hear five words from a true Ministery or in a Church of Christ where he hath promised his blessing and presence than five thousand elsewhere though I desire in a personal way to own and embrace all or any appearance of God where ever I find it and can upon that account truly say I do much respect love and delight in some who are not yet come up to the true worship of Christ in his Church but I must be true to my principles I cannot see how we that are according to the Gosspel ioyned to the Lord and his Church by which we hold out to the world a visible profession of his name and a separation from all false waies of worship which in our principles we judge them who are not rightly constituted with us according to the appointment and practice of Christ and his Apostles to be no other I say I cannot see how we can meet with them in their publique worship to hear their Ministers or in any other spiritual duty but it is a crossing our own principles As thus they own themselves true Churches and Ministers of Christ the ignorant world knoweth not but they are so we by our presence being silent do say
truth Another reason why many Saints were so deceived in those daies as I apprehend was That they being but newly come to the faith were expos'd to great temptations having but little means of strength against them it may be far from a Church or else in a Church where were false Teachers as in those dayes there were very many by reason of which many were deceived whereas others who were as weak if not weaker being in Churches where there were sound Teachers were kept from them which may be a caution as to particular persons to take heed what and whom they hear so to Churches who they permit to be Teachers and not to suffer any unsound doctrine to be taught It may also be a word of remembrance to all that do enjoy this great mercy to have sound and faithful Teachers highly to esteem them for their works sake and to account such worthy of double honour giving them all due respect and encouragement that they may do their work with joy and not with grief according to Hebrews 13. 17. 1 Thessal 5. 12 13. 1 Timothy 5. 17. Other reasons may be given for the Saints mistake in those things but I shall mention no more intending only my own experience For I can truly say that upon a diligent search and enquiry what might be the cause of my own mistakes I find them to be no other but these very things exprest As First I was weak in principles as indeed I had never been under much means to be otherwise Secondly I am conscious to my self of some extreme in minding truth as it relates to the inward man though truly I know not that I did slight any Ordinance or command of Christ but that I did rather highly esteem of them but not to lessen sin it is possible there may be something of that nature though I know it not Thirdly I am sure I was exposed to great temptations of this kind having little means of strength against them finding so many corrupted though through mercy it is better now that breach being made up with great advantage for which I desire with all Saints to praise the Lord for ever for doubtless the Saints advantage in their enlarged experience and confirmation in the truth is so great by these things that I cannot expres it Again it calls for praise that as the Lord hath turned it to our great advantage so he hath wonderfully disappointed the expectations of the devil and wicked men who were ready to say as in Psa 35. 25. All so would we have it verily concluding that though they could not suppress us by their persecuting power yet now we would destroy our selves as indeed we might have so done had not the Lord prevented and we may say it was the Lords doing and it is marvellous in our eyes And whereas some by reason of those things have been ready to question our practice whether it be of God Let them know that there is no ground from thence to question it seeing it is no more than what hath been in those Churches in the Apostles daies and what they did foretell should be in these daies 1 Corinth 15. 12. 1 Timothy 1. 19. 2 Timothy 2. 18. 2 Peter 2. 12. Acts 20. 30. But if it were a safe ground to judge of truth by what hath appeared in relation to those things then there is more ground of confirmation that what we practise is of God seeing that notwithstanding those things we have been so wonderfully preserved as we are unto this day but though these things may be something as to the ignorant yet yet the rule by which we judge of our practice is only as it hath its ground and rise in holy Scripture being built upon the foundation of the Apostles and Prophets Jesus Christ himself being the chief Corner Stone Therefore it hath never been any scruple at all to me for though some have denyed the Churches and turned their ears from hearing the truth and have turned to fables yet the Churches and truth is the same as God is the same Now as for the grounds or reasons why some of the Saints themselves have so done I shall say nothing because as I said before I intend no more but my own experience and through the mercy of God I was never so far corrupted as to question either the Scriptures Churches or Ordinances of Christ much less to withdraw from them or to give any just occasion to be withdrawn from by them yet notwithstanding I do not in the least question the reality of those poor souls who have been so far overcome and are through mercy again returned and as for such as never return I shall leave them to be judged by the Lord who only is the judge of those that are without 1 Cor. 5. 13. Having thus far considered of these allegorical notions how they are the worst of all errors and the greatest mystery of iniquity in that they are more deceiving than others promising the greatest good but leading directly to the greatest evil and having given some reasons as I judge why the Saints in these daies have been so generally deceived by them I shall further proceed to consider what may be the end of God in permitting it so to be First I conceive it may be in general that such as were approved may be made manifest agreeable to 1 Cor. 11. 9. which accordingly hath been many by those things were made manifest to be approved though others that were not have appeared to be what they are But Secondly and more particularly I believe the Lord had many good ends in it both in relation to himself in relation to them and in relation to others of his people it may be some that are yet unborn First In relation to himself for the exaltation of his praise that when they should come to see how great their deliverance was and what an addition to all their former mercies they might admire his goodness and break forth into the high praises of his name and that all the daies of their lives when this mercy comes into their thoughts For my own particular I can truly say that the mercy of God to me in relation to those things I look upon it as the greatest mercy that ever I received from the Lord next the manifestation of his Love in Jesus Christ through the Gospel But Secondly In relation to them so deceived that they should have enlarged experience of the fulness of God and of their own nothingness and of the sweetness and excellency of truth above error how it doth excell it as far as light excells darkness and live more upon God and less upon themselves in faith and humility and in the increase of all grace in more cleerness of understanding and knowledge of the Truth for doubtless through the goodness of the Lord who hath promised to do his people good by every thing they do gain by it in all these in some measure