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A05326 A helpe to discourse. Or, A miscelany of merriment Consisting of wittie, philosophical and astronomicall questions and answers. As also, of epigrams, epitaphs, riddles, and iests. Together with the countrymans counsellour, next his yearely oracle or prognostication to consult with. Contayning diuers necessary rules and obseruations of much vse and consequence being knowne. By W.B. and E.P. Basse, William, d. ca. 1653, attributed name.; Phillips, Edward, 1630-1696?, attributed name.; Pond, Edward, d. 1629, attributed name. 1619 (1619) STC 1547; ESTC S117185 70,959 300

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are the three first members formed in the wombe after conception A. The heart the braine and the liuer the three chiefe members of life Q. Which is the last made A. The eye The interpretation of the mind The last member formed in the wombe and the first that loseth his motion in death for in that exigent the spirits of the sight betake themselues to the braine as to their castle of refuge a sure token of death Q. When a man dies which is the last part of him that stirres and which of a woman A. To answere merily and not altogether impertinently t is said the last part of a man that stirs is his heart but of a woman her tongue Q. A wise man said that from the most vildest creatures on the earth iust matter might be had whereby to glorifie God to this one answered what tak'st thou from the Serpent whereby to glorifie him A. To praise him that he made me not such a one To which purpose is here annexed a story of one who seeing a Toade lie in the way fell a weeping two Bishops comming by inquired his reason who answered that the sight of that vgly and loathsome creature had admonished him of his ingratitude to God that had neuer giuen him thankes for the excellency of his creation beeing made after his owne Image when hee being but as clay in the Potters hands it was in his power to haue made him a vessell of dishonor yea euen the basest and deformed such a one as that Toade Q. What is the most beautifull thing in the world A. One answered the Sunne but another replyed that blinde men saw not that and therefore hee concluded that Vertue was much more resplen dent which euen the blind might perceiue perfectly Q. What is the strongest of all things A. One answered Wine another a King a third a Woman and all these are very powerfull but truth is the strongest of all which ouercomes all things Q. Who is the greatest opposer of this Truth A. One answered the Pope who as Baleus recites is so opposite that commonly whatsoeuer he praise● is worthy of disprayse for whatsoeuer hee thinkes is vaine whatsoeuer he speakes is false whatsoeuer he dislikes is good whatsoeuer hee approoues is euill and whatsoeuer he extols infamous Q. What seate is ordained for Popes after this life A. Heauen they continually sell and daily offer to sale and therefore Hell is their place in reuersion according to the Poet Vendidit coelum Romanus Astra sacerdos Ad Stigias igitur cogiturire domos Q. What part of speech is Papa for the Pope A. Part of a particip●e because hee partakes part from the Clergy part from the Laity and part from both without Mo●d or ●e●se Papa nec D●us Nec Angelus Nec Homo● quid tunc the Pope is neither God Angel nor Man what then Diabolus Q. VVho are those that pray for all Defend all Feed all Deuoure all A. In an old picture I found it thus written The Pope with his Clergy saies I pray for you all Caesar with his Electors I defend you all The Clown with his sack of Corne I nourish you all at last comes Death and sayes I deuoure you all Q. VVhat little fish is that in the Sea that hath the greatest strength A. The Rhemora a little fish of halfe a foot long which but by fastening vpon it will stay a Ship vnder sayle with winde and tide Q. What thing is a Lyon most afrayde of A. The crowing of a Cocke and the noyse of a Cartwheele Q. What difference of Daies is there of the Christians the Turks and the Iewes Sabbaoth A. The Christians keepe their Sabbaoth on Sunday The Iewes on the Saturday and the Turkes on the Friday in scorne of Christ that was that day crucified Q. What is death very fitly resembled vnto A. To a woman or a shadow for seeke it and it flies you flie it and it seekes you so a Woman according to the Poet. Follow a shadow it still flies you Seeme to flie it will pursue you So court a woman shee denies you Let her alone she will court you Q. What is that which of running becomes staid of soft becomes hard of weake becomes strong and of that which is infi●it becomes but one It is answered Ice Q. Whether was Christ all euer Ice A. It is answered that those waters which are congealed with a continuall and dayly cold as by the space of ten or twentie yeares are called Christall by reason of their transparencie and are for the most part found vpon the Alpine Mountaines eleuated against the face of the North where they become so hard that sc●rce they euer after yeeld to the hammer Q. What liquor of all other soonest extinguisheth the fire A. Vineger for the exceeding piercing coldnesse and eagernesse it hath Q What is the strongest of all things in the world A. Thal. Mill. answered Fate another Death because it ouercomes all things Q. How many letters are there in the holy tongue A. As many as there are bookes in the old Testament of which one thus further obserues that as 22. letters forme our voyce so 22. bookes containe our faith Q. VVhat comparison is there betweene Prophets and Poets A. Thus much according to the old verse Illi de rebus praedicere vera futuris Hi de perteritis dicere falsa solent Englished Of things to come these truely make vs know What the other of things past doth falsly show Q. VVho were those that were seene to eate after their deaths A. Christ Lazarus the daughter of Iayrus and others Q. Vpon what kind of persons according to Diogenes opinion are not benefits to be bestowed A. 1 N●t vpon olde men because they li●e not to require them 2 Vpon children because they forget them 3 Vpon dishonest folkes because they will neuer require them Q. VVho are those that see many things farre off but little neere at hand A. Old men blind in the present-tense but for the most part quicke-sighted in the preterimperfect tense Q How comes it that the Husband seekes the wife and not the contrary the wife the Husband A. Because the m●n seekes that which he lost that is his ri● which was taken from him in the forming of Woman out of his side and therefore when a man marries a wife what doth hee but fetch backe the rib which hee first lost Q. What is the choosing of wines fitly compared vnto A. Sir Tho. More was wont to say to the plucking by casualty Eeles out of a Bagge wherein for euerie Eele are twenty Snakes Q. What is the deerest losse of all others A. The losse of time which cannot bee recouered of which one thus complaines Damna fleorerum sed plus fleo Damna dierum Quisque potest rebus succurere nemꝰ diebus Thus Englished The losse of wealth I much lament But more what time decaies For wealth may be regain'd that 's spent But
of the earth slaughtered tormented in al coūtries France Spaine Portugall Germany and England some of their offences were washing clipping the kings coyne circūcising stealing of christian children pricking them full of holes for their blood which they cōceited wold cure the leprosie ranke smel both of their breath skin In king Iohns time they were fined at 1000. marks a man vpon penalty of not payment to lose their teeth an old Iew had 6. of his teeth pulled out because he refused to pay his fine Many 1000. of them were slaughtered in diuers kingdomes vpon a rumour spred that they had poysoned all the wells in those countries and where euer they liue at this day among Christians they liue in subiection and slauery to them they most hate Q What country in the world is the most desolate and solitarie A. The countrey of the Sodomites where Sathan wanne so much ground that whereas according to Strabos description stood 13. cities scituate vpon one of the most fruitfull soyles in the whole earth euen a second Eden or garden of Paradise for pleasure beauty whence sprong those clustering grapes from those vines of Engeddi so renowned in Scripture stands not now one of those cities to magnifie her selfe aboue her fellowes but all with Sodome the Lady of them all desolated and destroyed not one stone left vppon another nor no other witnesse of their somtimes being more then the dry smell of fire brimstone the heauy iusticers of God that destroyed thē for the fruit of that vine that made glad the heart of man in thē peruerted from his true vse to sin and drūkēnes are only found now apples of a beautious appearance but touch them and they are but ashes and of a sulphurous sauour an ayre of so poysonous a vapour aboue that as Historiographers write stifles the fowles that fly ouer it that they fall downe dead and the fishes likewise in that dead sea vnder it poysoned as they fall in or flote from the siluer streames of Iordan that thence emptie themselues into that sulphurous lake There are foure kinde of men that lay clayme to their owne or others and but one rightly and these are they 1. The first saith that which is mine is thine and that which is thine is mine and this is the Ideot 2. The second sayth that which is mine is mine and that which is thine is thine and this is the indifferent man 3. The third saith that which is mine is thine and that which is thine is thine owne and this is the godly man 4. The fourth saith that which is thine is mine that which is mine is mine owne and this is the wicked man Christ all and without Christ nothing Possidet ille nihil Christum qui perdidit vnum Perdidit ille nihil Christum qui possidet vnum Q. What doe wee owe vnto our neighbour A. Three things that is to say nostrum nosse in consiliis nostrum posse in subsidiis nostrum velle in desideriis To counsell to assist to desire his good Three things are most precisely necessarie for euery Christian man and what they are Faith without the which we cā not please God A good name without the which we cā not please our neighbour A good cons. without the which we cā not please our selues Of the latter which one writes O vita secura vbi est conscientia pura O life secure that hath the conscience pure Q Why do yong men many times say they are yonger then they are and old men they are older then they are A. This doth youth that hee may seeme to preserue the flower of his youth the longer this doth age to regaine more reuerence and authoritie but either foolishly Q. Hee that learnes from youth who doth he resemble A. He that eats grapes before they are ripe drinks wine before it be setled Q But who doth hee resemble that drawes his precepts from old men A. He that eates ripe grapes and drinks old wine for seniores sunt saniores incipientes insipientes And likewise Quae laboriosa fuere inuentuti studia ea suntiucūda senectuti otia Whose studies were not painfull in youth their pleasures are more perfect in age and truely she lends the more nourishment whē to the other but as Bastards she withdraweth it from them Q. Why are Cats and Whelps brought forth blinde A. Because that drawing neere to their maturity and ripenesse they wound and pierce the Matrixe with their clawes wherupon by their Dams they are hastily and imperfectly cast forth before their time Q. Why blood issues afresh from an old member or wound many dayes before made and dryed vp the murderer approching neere vnto it A. Our Naturalists obserue diuers Naturall causes to the effecting of the same which for their vncertainty wee meddle not withal But thus conclude that murther shall not bee concealed or vnreuenged and to that ende that blood of the slaughtered cries for vengeance at the hands of God which God so regarding by that meanes answeres to approue to man what often seemeth doubtfull Q VVhy doth the affections of Parents runne vpwards to their children and not their children run downewards to them A. Euen as the sap in the root of a tree ascends into the branches thereof and from the branches returnes not into the root againe bu runs out from thence into seed so parents loue their children but children so loue not their parents but their affections runs forward to a further procreation wherby it comes to passe that a father with more willingnesse brings vp ten children then ten children in his want sustaines one father Q How is it that there be many more women in the world then men A. Some thinke because women are exempted from the warres from the seas imprisonment and many other troubles and dangers of the land to be a reason sufficient So others likewise there are that thinke this may be a reason because in the whole course of Nature the worst things are euer most plentifull to which effect Plynie tels a Story of a certaine field-mouse that euery moneth brings forth thirty when the Elephant a creature of vse and seruice is three yeeres in trauell with one Questions of the Earth Q. How many miles is the earth in circuit A. It is vncertaine and cannot rightly bee defined for as the Lord saith who hath measured the earth yet the Mathematicians Astrologiās are of opinion that it is 4. times 5400. miles but howsoeuer in respect of the Heauens they conclude it but a point where euery Star in the eight spheare is esteemed bigger then the whole circumference thereof where if the body of the earth should bee placed in the like splendor it would hardly appeare yet as saith a Father we make this little so great a matter so admiring this miserable dust on which not onely wee that are but dust wormes do creepe but also many other wormes