stocke or though he were her prentise or bondslaue which also holdeth in the case betwixt an aged woman and a youth for the Scripture hath made no exception in any of those cases 2. Obiect But what if a man of lewd and beastly conditions as a drunkard a glutton a profane swaggerer an impious swearer and blasphemer be maried to a wife sober religious Matron must she account him her superiour and worthy of an husbands honour Answ Surely she must For the euill qualitie and disposition of his heart and life doth not depriue a man of that ciuill honour which God hath giuen vnto him Though an husband in regard of euill qualities may carrie the Image of the deuill yet in regard of his place and office he beareth the â—mage of God so doe Magistrates in the common-wealth Ministers in the Church parents and masters in the familie Note for our present purpose the exhortation of S. Peter to Christian wiues which had infidell husbands Be in subiection to them let your conuersation be in feare If Infidels carrie â—ot the deuils Image and are not so long as they are Infidels â—assals of Satan who are yet wiues must be subiect to them and feare them §. 6. Of wiues denying honour to their owne husbands Contrary thereunto is a very peruerse disposition in some wiues who thinke they could better subiect themselues to any husband then their owne Though in generall they acknowledge that an husband is his wiues superiour yet when the application commeth to themselues they faile and cannot be brought to yeeld that they are their husbands inferiours This is a vice worse then the former For to acknowledge no husband to be superiour ouer his wife but to thinke man and wife in all things equall may proceed from ignorance of hinde and error of iudgement But for a wife who knoweth and acknowledgeth the generall that an husband is aboue his wife to imagine that she her selfe is not inferiour to her husband ariseth from monstrous selfe-conceit and intolerable â—rrogancy as if she her selfe were aboue her owne sex and â—ore then a woman Contrary also is the practise of such women as purposely â—ary men of farre lower ranke then themselues for this very end that they may rule ouer their owne husbands and of others who being aged for that end mary youths if not very boyes A minde and practise very vnseemely and cleaneth warting Gods ordinance But let them thinke of ruling what they list the truth is that they make themselues subiects both by Gods law and mans of which subiection such wiues doe oft feele the heauiest burden Salomon noteth this to be one of the things for which the earth is disquieted when a seruant reigneth Now when can a seruant more dominere then when he hath maried his mistresse As for aged women who are maried to youths I may say as in another case it was said woe to thee ô wife whose husband is a childe Vnmeet it is that an aged man should be maried to a young maid but much more vnmeet for an aged woman to be maried to a youth §. 7. Of a wiues inward feare of her husband Hitherto of a wiues acknowledgement of her husbands superioritie It followeth to speake of that answerable respect which she ought to beare towards him A wiue-like respect of her husband consisteth in two points 1. Reuerence 2. Obedience  The reuerence which she oweth to him is 1. Inward 2. Outward  Inward reuerence is an awfull respect which a wife in her heart hath of her husband esteeming him worthy of all honour for his place and office sake because he is her husband Doubtlesse Sarah had in her heart a reuerend respect and honourable esteeme of her husband when being alone and thinking of him in her very thought she gaue him this title Lord. This inward reuerence the Scripture compriseth vnder this word Feare as where our Apostle saith Let the wife see that she feare her husband and where S. Peter exhorteth wiues to haue their conuersation in Feare It is no slauish feare of her husband which ought to possesse the heart of a wife dreading blowes frownes spightfull words or the like but such an awfull respect of him as maketh her to vse the Apostles word care how she may please him This wiue-like Feare is manifested by two effects one is Ioy when she giueth contentment to her husband and obserueth him to be pleased with that which she doth the other is griefe when he is iustly offended and grieued especially with any thing that she her selfe hath done Vnlesse this inward reuerence and due respect of an husband be first placed in the heart of a wife either no outward reuerence and obedience will be performed at all or if it be performed it will be very vnsound only in shew hypocriticall and deceitfull so that as good neuer a whit as neuer the better For according to ones inward affection and disposition will the outward action and conuersation be framed Michal first despised Dauid in her heart and thence it followed that she vtteredmost vnreuerend and vile speeches of him euen to his face Wherefore after the iudgement of a wife is rightly informed of an husbands superioritie and her will perswaded to account her owne husband her head and guide it is very needfull that her heart and affection be accordingly seasoned with the salt of good respect and high esteeme which breedeth feare and that thus her heart may be seasoned she ought oft and seriously to meditate of his place and office and of that honour which the Lord by vertue thereof hath planted in him And if he haue gifts worthie his place as knowledge wisdome pietie temperance loue and the like she ought to take notice thereof and to thinke him worthie of double honour §. 8. Of a wiues base esteeme of her husband Contrary to this inward reuerence of the heart is a base and wile esteeme which many haue of their husbands thinking no better of them then of other men nay worse then of others despising their husbands in their heart like Michal of whom we heard before This as it is in it selfe a vile vice so is â—t a cause of many other vices as of presumption rebellion yea and of adultery it selfe many times and it is also a maine hinderance of all dutie It commonly riseth either from selfe-conceit whereby wiues ouerweene their owne gifts thinking them so excellent is they need no guide or head but are rather fit to guide and rule both their husband and all the houshold of which proud and presumptuous spirit Iezabel seemeth to be who with an audacious and impudent face said to Ahab her husband Dost thou now gouerne the kingdome of Israel Up I will giue thee the vineyard of Naboth So also all those wiues which are noted to draw away their husbands hearts from the
to hate his wife nor any vice seeme to him intolerable with goodnes he â—â—ught to ouercome euill If notorious sins seemed intolerable to Christ or that he thought any occasion iust to cause hatred many â—hat are of his Church would oft draw his hatred vpon them but Christ hateth neuer a member of his Church 4. There is no hope that euer I shall receiue any helpe of my wife or benefit from her Ans There is little charitie in such as can conceiue no hope for â—ue hopeth all things but yet the case so standeth with Christ The Church is so vtterly vnable to help or benefit him as he may iustly â—y he cannot hope to receiue any thing froÌ„ her Christ loueth the â—hurch for her own good not for his so ought husbands Thus if Christs example be well weighed obserued of husbands it will â—ford matter enough to remoue euery doubt or scruple raised to â—enate their affections from their wiues Fitly therefore hath the Apostle set it before husbands both to direct them how to loue their wiues and also to moue them so to doe §. 76. Of a mans loue to himselfe a motiue to prouoke him to loue his wife To the same purpose that Christs example tendeth tendeth also the patterne of a mans selfe Great is the affection that a man beareth to himselfe to his owne flesh his owne bodie he neuer hateth but euer loueth himselfe no sore no disease no paine no stinch that the flesh bringeth to a man can make him hate it but rather all manner of infirmities doe make him the more to pitty tender and cherish it This is a worke of nature the most heathenish and barbarous that euer were doe it Now a wife being to a man as his bodie and his flesh for they two are one flesh and God hauing commanded men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies these conclusions will necessarily follow from this motiue 1. He that loueth not his wife is more caried with the instinct of nature then with the expresse charge of the God of nature Natures instinct moueth him to loue his bodie But Gods expresse charge moueth him not to loue his wife 2. He that loueth not his wife is worse then an infidell and a barbarian yea then a very beast for all these loue their owne bodies and their owne flesh but a wife by Gods ordinance is as ones bodie and his flesh 3. He that loueth his wife loueth himselfe the Apostle himselfe in these very words layeth downe this conclusion from whence by the rule of contraries this also will follow He that loueth not his wife loueth not himselfe 4. He that loueth not his wife cannot but bring woe and mischiefe vpon himselfe For the damage and mischiefe which followeth on a wife through any neglect of dutie on her husband part followeth also on him as the mischiefe which followeth on the bodie through any negligence of the head lighteth also on the head If these be not motiues sufficient to prouoke an husband to loue his wife I know not what can be sufficient The fifth Treatise Duties of Children §. 1. Of the generall Heads of Childrens duties EPHES. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right 2. Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandement with promise 3. That it may be well with thee and thou maist liue long on the earth THe second couple in a familie are Parents Children In laying downe their duties the Apostle beginneth with children his direction and instigation vnto them is laid downe in the three first verses of the sixt chapter wherein 1. He declareth their dutie 2. He addeth reasons to inforce the same In laying downe their dutie he noteth three points 1. Wherein it consisteth obey honour 2. To whom it is to be performed your parents 3. After what manner it is to be done in the Lord. The reasons vsed by the Apostle are foure 1. The place of parents in the Lord. 2. The aequitie of the thing this is right 3. The charge of God Honour thy father c. 4. The reward promised That it may goe well c. Vnder this word obey which the Apostle vseth and that word honour which the law vseth are all those duties comprised which any where thorowout the whole Scripture are inioyned to children We will therefore set them downe in some order and handle them distinctly one after another 1. The Fountaine of childrens duties is to be searched out 2. The Streames that flow from thence are to be obserued The Fountaine is an inward disposition of the heart compounded of loue and feare The Streames issuing from thence extend vnto parents both while they are liuing and also when they are dead Childrens duties which are to be performed to their parents while they liue haue respect to their Authoritie Necessitie  The Authoritie of parents requireth of children Reuerence Obedience  Their Necessitie requireth Recompence The duties which children owe to their parents deceased respect their Body Credit  Their Body with decency must be buried Their Credit with honour must be maintained §. 2. Of Childrens loue to their Parents I make the fountaine of childrens duties to be a mixed and compound disposition in respect of that authoritie and affection which is mixed together in parents The authoritie of parents requireth feare in children and their affection loue So intire and so ardent is parents affection towards their children as it would make children too bold and insolent if there were not authoritie mixed therewith to worke feare and so supreme and absolute is their authoritie ouer them as it would make children like slaues to dread their parents if a fatherly affection were not tempered therewith to breed loue But both these ioyned together make a very good composition loue like sugar sweetneth feare and feare like salt seasoneth loue and thus to ioyne them both together it is a louing-feare or a fearingloue which is the ground of childrens duties Where Christ forbiddeth an excessiue loue in children to their parents he implieth that parents are a fit obiect for children to loue so as their loue be wel moderated yea he implieth that it is an affection euen by nature ingraffed in children to loue their parents Ioseph is commended vnto children as a worthy patterne in louing his father and that from his youth till the decease of his father in testimony whereof in his younger yeeres he brought to his father the euill report of his brethren whereby he incurred their enuie and hatred which he would neuer haue done if he had not loued his father and hauing beene long absent from his father when by Gods prouidence there was offered an occasion for him to meet with his brethren one of his first questions to them was about their father and hearing that he was liuing he thought it not enough to send him food for his need but must also needs see his
dutie lieth principally vpon the mother who so soone as she perceiueth a childe to be conceiued in her wombe ought to haue an especiall care thereof that so much as in her lieth the childe may be safely brought forth The heathen Philosophen by light of nature obserued this to be a dutie and prescribed it to mothers A mother then must haue a tender care ouer her selfe when shee is with childe for the childe being lodged in her and receiuing nourishment from her as plants from the earth her well-being tendeth much to the good and safetie of the childe but the hurt that commeth to her maketh the childe the worse if it be not a meanes to destroy it Why was the charge of abstaining from wine strong drinke and vncleane things giuen to Manoahs wife but because of the childe which she conceiued In this case there is a double bond to make mothers carefull of themselues 1. Their owne 2. Their childs good Husbands also in this case must be very tender ouer their wiues and helpfull to them in all things needfull both in regard of that dutie which they owe to their wiues and also of that they owe to their children Why was Manoah so desirous to heare himselfe the forenamed direction which the Angell gaue to his wife and why did the Angell againe repeat it to him but to shew it belonged to him to see her obserue it They who through violence of passion whether of griefe or anger or through violent motion of the bodie as by dancing striuing running galloping on horsebacke or the like or through distemper of the bodie by eating things hurtfull by eating too much by too much abstinence by too much bashfulnesse in concealing their desires and longings as we speake cause any abortion or miscariage fall into the offence contrary to the forenamed dutie If women were perswaded that in conscience they are bound to the forenamed dutie they would I thinke be more carefull of themselues For if through their default they themselues or their childe miscarry they make themselues guilty of that miscariage if both miscarry they make themselues guiltie of the bloud of both at least in the court of conscience before God But they who purposely take things to make away their children in their wombe are in farre higher degree guiltie of bloud yea euen of wilfull murther For that which hath receiued a soule formed in it by God if it be vniustly cast away shall be reuenged So farre forth as husbands are carelesse of their wiues being with childe denying them things needfull they are accessarie to the hurt which the woman or childe taketh guiltie of the sin and liable to the iudgement §. 10. Of prouiding things needfull for the childe so soone as it is borne and of crueltie contrary thereunto The next degree of a childs infancie is while it is in the swadling bands and remaineth a sucking childe In this also the care especially lieth vpon the mother yet so as the father must afford what helpe he can The first dutie here required is that sufficient prouision of all things needfull for a childe in that weaknesse be before hand prouided What the particulars be women better know then I can expresse For me it is sufficient to lay downe the dutie in generall which is commended vnto vs in that worthy patterne of the Virgin Marie who though she were very poore and forced to trauell farre and brought to bed in a strange place where she was so little respected as she was not afforded a place meet for a woman in her case but was faine to content her selfe with a stable in a common Inne yet she prouided for her childe For it is said She wrapped him in swadling clothes Luk 2. 7. Contrary is the practise of such lewd and vnnaturall women as leaue their new-borne children vnder stalls at mens doores in Church porches yea many times in open field It is noted as a point of vnnaturalnesse in the Ostrich to leaue her eggs in the earth and in the dust in which respect she is said to be hardned against her young ones as though they were not hers Iob 39. 14 16. Much more hardned are the foresaid lewd women The Eagle is counted an vnnaturall bird because she thrusteth her young ones which she hath brought forth out of her nest Are not then such mothers much more vnnaturall They oft lay their children forth in publike places for others to shew that mercy which they themselues haue not The Ciuill Law iudgeth this to be a kinde of further §. 11. Of giuing sucke to children Among other needfull things the milke of the breast is fit for â—oung babes and with it they are to be nourished I thinke none â—oubt of the equitie of this It hath in all ages and in all counâ—ies beene accounted the bestfood that can be for young babes The metaphor which S. Peter vseth taken from young infants in these words As new-borne babes desire the sincere milke of the â—ord confirmeth as much So doth also the desire which such â—nfants haue to the milke of the breasts and the abilitie and â—omptnesse which is in them to sucke and Gods prouidence in â—using a womans breasts to yeeld forth such milke and the constant manner of nourishing little infants after this manner commended in the Scriptures and to conclude the naturall instinct which many vnreasonable creatures haue thus to nourish their young ones They who on meere curiositie where no vrgent necessitie requireth try whether their children may not as birds be nourished without sucke offend contrary to this dutie and reiect that meanes which God hath ordained as the best and so oppose their shallow wit to his vnsearchable wisdome §. 12. Of mothers giuing sucke to their owne children Of nourishing children with brest-milke there is no great question therefore I haue with a touch passed it ouer The chiefest question of doubt is concerning the partie who is bound to this dutie namely whether the mother be bound to doe it her selfe or no. Many strong arguments there be to presse it vpon the consciences of mothers and to shew that so farre as they are able they are bound to giue sucke to their owne children Some are taken from the light of Gods word and some from the light of nature Gods word doth in many places by iust consequence imply that it is a bounden dutie in other places it doth expresly commend it by the practise of holy women and againe in other places it taketh it for a granted truth and ruled case not to be denied 1. The consequences whereby the word implieth this dutie are these 1. In the blessing giuen to Ioseph thus speaketh old Iaakob God shall blesse thee with the blessing of the breasts and of the wombe By the blessing of the wombe what can be meant but children By the blessing of the breasts what but milke whereby those children are nourished As
and commeth into the breasts when the childe commeth out of the wombe Whence we may gather that of all womens milke that womans milke is fittest for the childe out of whose wombe the childe came 3. Together with the milke passeth some smacke of the affection and disposition of the mother which maketh mothers to loue such children best as they haue giuen sucke vnto yea and oft times such children as haue sucked their mothers breasts loue their mothers best yea we may obserue many who haue sucked others milke to loue those nurses all the daies of their life 4. Other things are nourished by the same that they are bred The earth out of which plants grow ministreth nourishment to the said plants trees that bring forth fruit yeeld sap to that fruit whereby it groweth to ripenesse vnreasonable creatures and among them the most sauage wilde beasts as Tigers and Dragons yea sea-monsters giue sucke to their young ones whereupon the Prophet saith of women that giue not sucke to their Children that they are more cruell then those sea-monsters Like the Ostriches in the wildernesse for the cruell Ostrich and the hatefull Cucco are the two kinde of creatures which are noted to leaue their young ones for others to nourish the Ostrich leaueth her eggs in the dust the Cucco leaueth hers in other birds nests Other creatures if nature afford them not milke and dugges as to birds it doth not feed their young ones other waies yet by themselues 5. Shall I adde another argument which daily experience confirmeth namely Gods blessing vpon this motherly dutie commonly such children as are nursed by their mothers prosper best Mothers are most tender ouer them and cannot indure to let them lie crying out without taking them vp and stilling them as nurses will let them crie and crie againe if they be about any businesse of their owne For who are commonly chosen to be nurses euen poore countrie women which haue much worke to doe and little helpe and so are forced to let the childe lie and crie many times till it burst againe Children nursed by their mothers are for the most part more cleanly and neatly brought vp freer from diseases not so many die I am sure not so many through negligence cast away The number of nurse children that die euery yeere is very great It hath beene obserued in many countrie villages that the most part that from time to time die there are nurse children Are not mothers that might haue nursed their owne children if they would accessary to the death of those that are cast away by the nurses negligence On these and other like reasons heathen women and very sauages haue in all ages beene moued to nurse their owne children and some heathen Philosophers haue vrged and pressed the necessitie of this dutie Neuer was it more neglected then among those that beare the name of Christians Let mothers know of what ranke or degree so euer they be that out of the case of necessitie they haue no warrant to put forth their children to others to nurse We read not in all the Scripture of any holy women that euer did it §. 13. Of the obiections for putting children forth to nurse Obiect Many nurses are mentioned in Scripture as Rebekahs nurse Mephibosheths nurse Ioash his nurse and others 1. Answ Such nurses mentioned in Scripture were commonly drie nurses Rebekahs nurse went with her before she was maried how can it be thought that she was a milch nurse Could they tell when Rebekah should haue a childe or when he had one that Deborah the nurse there mentioned should haue milke for her It is said that Naomi became nurse to Ruths â—hilde now Naomi was old long before this she was past â—hild-bearing without an husband for many yeeres how then was it possible that she should giue sucke She was therefore a â—rie nurse as other nurses mentioned in Scripture 2. Answ The mothers of those children which are said to â—aue nurses if those nurses were milch-nurses might be â—ead or if liuing not able to giue sucke for want of milke â—ipple or for some other like defect or if able sinne in putting forth their children 3. Answ Though it be said that there were nurses yet is no where said that a mother put forth her childe to sucke 2. Obiect Pharohs daughter put forth the childe which she â—â—oke for her owne to nurse Answ She bare not this childe nor was the naturall mother of it so as this is nothing to the purpose Yea it maketh against the obiectors in that the true mother of this childe nursed it 3. Obiect The metaphor taken from nurses is oft vsed and applied to God and to Gods ministers 1. Answ The vsing of a thing by way of comparison and resemblance doth not simply iustifie it instance the parable of the vniust steward and of a theefe 2. Answ The metaphor may be taken from a drie nurse as well as a milch nurse for the comparisons are not vsed of giuing sucke but of bearing and carrying in armes as drie nurses vse to carry children 3. Answ The metaphors are most fitly taken from mothers that are nurses to their owne children 4. Obiect Many mothers haue not such skill in giuing sucke as nurses haue Answ Let them learne seeing it is their dutie 5. Obiect Mothers that are of great wealth and high place cannot endure the paine of nursing nor take the paines in handling young children as they must be handled 1. Answ The greatest that be must set themselues to doe that duty which God requireth at their hands though it be with paine and paines Note Sarahs example before recorded 2. Answ By this it appeareth that if other women could beare their children in the wombe nine moneths and endure the paine of trauell for them they would hire them to doe it But seeing they doe the one namely beare and bring forth their owne children with hard labour why should they not doe the other If they say there is an vnauoidable necessity of bearing and bringing forth their children I answer that conscience ought to moue them to nurse those children which necessity forceth them to bring forth God by this latter oâ— nursing children maketh triall of women whether they will for conscience sake doe that duty which they may if they will put off But because God knew that many will doe no more then necessity laieth vpon them he hath made it a matter oâ— impossibility for women to beare and bring forth their children by another 3. Answ If women would with cheerefulnesse set themselues to performe this duty much of the supposed paine and paines would be lessened 4. Answ Though they put not forth their children to nurse they may for their ease entertaine a nurse so they giue sucke themselues 6. Obiect A mother that hath a trade or that hath the care of an house will neglect much businesse by nursing her
couetously dote vpon their wealth as they will not bestow a groat to helpe them in calling and mariage but say they keepe all for them What a wretched and foolish disposition is this that they should still lay vp more and more for their children and yet refuse to bestow any part thereof vpon them in their greatest need when it might redound to their greatest benefit God oft meeteth with such couetous misers and crosseth their purposes by making strangers to enioy that which they greedily hoorded vp §. 58. Of parents last speech to their children The last dutie which parents owe to their children is when they cease to be parents that is when they are going out of this world Their dutie at that time in generall is to doe what lieth in them that it may goe well with their children after their departure Both the reasons which are oft vrged by the Holy Ghost to stir vp parents to yeeld obedience to God taken from extent of Gods blessing in this kinde of phrase Blessed shall their children be after them and Gods promises made to that purpose doe proue as much For the better performing of this dutie three generall points tending both to the temporall and also to the spirituall good of children are to be obserued and two particular points most tending to their temporall estate The three generals are these 1. Good direction 2. Faithfull prayer 3. A wise choise of some friends to be as parents to them 1. For direction When parents obserue their time to draw neere they ought to commend some wise and wholsome precepts vnto their children the better to direct them in their Christian course So did Isaak and Iaakob Ob. These Patriarchs had an extraordinarie spirit of prophecying by vertue thereof foretold their children things to come Answ They sustained a double person one of a prophet another of a father as prophets they had an extraordinarie spirit as parents they performed ordinarie dutie by their extraordinarie spirit they foretold things to come the ordinarie dutie which they performed was to direct their children how to carrie themselues in those times to come For their prophesies were not only predictions but also instructions to direct and teach them what to doe What they did by an extraordinarie spirit in extraordinarie things we must doe in ordinarie duties by the ordinarie spirit of vnderstanding and wisdome which the Lord giueth vs. But the direction which Isaak gaue to Iaakob when he sent him to Laban was no extraordinarie prophesie nor that which Dauid when he was old gaue to Solomon and againe when he lay on his death-bed Now these things are thus written for our imitation And great reason there is to imitate those holy men in these things For 1. The words of a dying parent are commonly most regarded his last words doe make a deepe impression this doe the brethren of Ioseph presse vpon him If euer therefore there be a time seasonable for a parent to giue good instructions to his children then is the time when parents are cleane departing from their children 2. Thus shall a parent manifest his true affection and earnest desire of his childrens good for now they cannot thinke that he seeketh his owne ease and profit more then their good as at other times some will be ready to say of their parents instructions and admonitions Our parents know what is good for themselues That the last words of parents may be the more seasonably and profitably deliuered to their children they must note on the one side what euils their children are most prone vnto what temptations they are most assaulted withall what snares they are most like to fall into and on the other side what vertues and graces are most needfull for them and wherein they faile most and accordingly they must order and frame their last words Note for a patterne herein Isaaks counsell to Iaakob when he sent him to Laban and thought he should neuer see him againe and Dauids to his sonne Solomon §. 59. Of Parents last blessing to their children II. Concerning the prayers of parents for their children I noted it before to be a generall dutie neuer to be omitted yet here in particular I mention it againe because a parents blessing consisteth therein especially and then is the most proper time for parents to bestow a blessing on their children as Isaak Iaakob Dauid and others did Let parents therefore as they commend their owne soules into Gods hand so commend their children vnto Gods grace and blessing Gods prouidence is a good inheritance many children doe thereby exceedingly prosper though they haue but small outward meanes whereas others that haue great meanes vsed for their good come to ruine Gods curse following them Now no such meanes can be thought of to procure Gods blessing or to with-hold his curse as the faithfull prayers of parents for their children especially when parents are leauing their children and going to God §. 60. Of parents care to commend their children to some faithfull friends III. The third generall point of making choise of some faithfull friends to commend their children vnto is especially in behalfe of such as are not of sufficient age and discretion to looke to themselues or to those weightie affaires which belong vnto them The friends which in this case are made choise of ought to be such as the parents themselues by good experience haue found to be honest wise faithfull and louing to them and theirs whom parents are to set in their owne place for the good of their children This meanes did Dauid vse when he was old in the behalfe of his sonne Solomon Many children haue found much helpe thereby Such may make a good supply of the departure of parents These are so much the more needfull by how much the more vnstable and vnbridled youth is and by how much the lesse able children are to helpe and guide themselues §. 61. Of parents neglect of their children for the time to come Contrary to a parents prouidence for the good of his children after his departure is the carelesnesse of parents for the time to come They thinke the world is gone with them when they are gone and therefore they will take no thought for the future times that shall be after them as if it were enough for euery one to looke to his owne time There may seeme to be more selfe-loue in such parents then loue of their children in that their care determineth with their owne time and extendeth not it selfe to the time and continuance of their children Hence is it that not a word of direction and exhortation commeth out of their mouths to their children when they are departing no blessing that they will leaue behinde them no friends shall be deputed by them to be as parents to their children Let God prouide say they But where there is a referring of
pure cheerefull constant for conscience sake § 54 55 c. TREAT IV.  Particular duties of Husbands  WJsdome and Loue the generall heads of all husbands duties § 2 4.  1 Acknowledgment of a wiues neere coniunction and fellowship with her husband § 6. 2 A good esteeme of his owne wise to be the best for him and worthy of loue on his part § 9. 3 An inward intire affection § 11. 4 An outward amiable cariage towards his wife which consisteth in an husband-like grauitie mildnesse courteous acceptance of her curtesie and allowing her to weare fit apparell § 4 15 22 40 49. 5 Milde and louing speech to and of his wife § 24 25 26 c. 6 A wise maintaining his authoritie and forbearing to exact all that is in his power § 4 18. 7 A ready yeelding to his wiues request and giuing a generall consent and libertie vnto her to order the affaires of the house children seruants c. And a free allowing her something to bestow as she seeth occasion § 18 54. 8 A forbearing to exact more then his wife is willing to doe or to force her to dwell where it is not meet or to enioyne her to doe things vnmeet in themselues or against her minde § 18 26. 9 A wise ordering of reproofe not vsing it without iust and weighty cause and then priuatly and meekly § 35 38. 10 A prouident care for his wife according to his abilitie § 46 49 50 52. 11 A forbearing to exact any thing which stands not with a good conscience § 26. 12 Such a loue as Christ beareth to the Church and man to himselfe which is first free in deed and truth pure chaste constant § 61 c. and 74. TREAT III.  Aberrations of Wiues from their particular duties  AMbition the generall ground of the aberrations of wiues § 2.  1 A conceit that wiues are their husbands equals § 4. 2 A conceit that she could better subiect her selfe to any other man then to her owne husband § 6. 3 An inward despising of her husband § 8. 4 Vnreuerend behauiour towards her husband manifested by lightnesse fullennesse scornfulnes and vanitie in her attire § 9 10 11 12. 5 Vnreuerend speech to and of her husband § 13 14 15 16. 6 A stout standing on her owne will § 17. 7 A peremptorie vndertaking to doe things as she list without and against her husbands consent This is manifested by priuie purloyning his goods taking allowance ordering children seruants and cattell feasting strangers making iourneyes and vowes as her selfe listeth § 42. 8 An obstinate standing vpon her owne will making her husband dwell where she will and refusing to goe when he calls or to doe any thing vpon his command § 44 45 46 67. 9 Disdaine at reproofe giuing word for word and waxing worse for being reproued § 47 48. 10 Discontent at her husbands estate § 50. 11 Such a pleasing of her husband as offendeth Christ § 53. 12 Such a subiection as is most vnlike to the Churches viz. fained forced fickle c. § 56 c. TREAT IV.  Aberrations of Husbands from their particular duties  WAnt of wisdome and loue the generall ground of the aberrations of husbands § 3 5.  1 Too meane account of wiues § 8. 2 A preposterous conceit of his owne wife to be the worst of all and that he could loue any but her § 10. 3 A Stoicall disposition without all heat of affection § 12. 4 An vnbeseeming cariage towards his wife manifested by his basenesse tyrannicall vsage of her loftinesse harshnesse and niggardlinesse § 5 15 17 41 44 53. 5 Harsh proud and bitter speeches to and of his wife § 24 25 30 32 36 39. 6 Losing of his authoritie § 5. 7 Too much strictnesse ouer his wife This is manifested by restraining her from doing any thing without particular and expresse consent taking too strict account of her and allowing her no more then is needfull for her owne priuate vse § 19 55. 8 Too lordly a standing vpon the highest step of his authoritie being too frequent insolent and peremptorie in commanding things friuolous vnmeet and against his wiues minde and conscience § 30 32. 9 Rashnesse and bitternesse in reprouing and that too frequently on sleight occasions and disgracefully before children seruants and strangers § 36 38 39. 10 A carelesse neglect of his wife and niggardly dealing with her and that in her weaknesse § 46 51 53 11 A commanding of vnlawfull things § 26 30 32. 12 Such a disposition as is most vnlike to Christs and to that which a man beareth to himselfe viz. complementall impure for by-respects vnconstant c. § 62 c. and 74. A Table of the seuerall points handled in the eight Treatises of Domesticall Duties I. TREATISE An exposition of that part of Scripture out of which domesticall duties are raised § 1 OF the Apostles transition from generall duties to particulars pag. 1 2 Of ioyning seruice to men with praising of God 2 3 Of euery ones submitting himselfe to another 4 4 Of the feare of God 8 5 Of the feare of God mouing vs to doe seruice to men 11 6 Of limiting all dutie to man within the compasse of the feare of God 13 7 Of performing the duties of particular callings 16 8 Of the lawfulnesse of priuate functions in a family 17 9 Of the Apostles order in laying downe the duties of husbands and wiues in the first place 20 10 Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place 21 11 Of the reasons why wiues duties are first taught 25 12 Of wiues subiection 26 13 Of the persons to whom wiues must be subiect 27 14 How an husband is his wiues head 29 15 Of the resemblance of an husband to Christ 30 16 Of the resemblance betwixt The Church to Christ 31 A wife to her husband   17 Of the relation betwixt Christ and the Church 32 18 Of the benefit of Christs headship 34 19 Of Christ a sufficient Sauiour 35 20 Of Christ the only Sauiour 36 21 Of the Church the body of Christ 38 22 Of the extent of Christs goodnesse to all his body 38 23 Of the restraint of the benefit of Christs headship to them only that are of his body 40 24 Of the Churches subiection to Christ 41 25 Of the extent of the Churches subiection 42 26 Of the summe of husbands duties 43 27 Of the example of Christs loue 44 28 Of Christs giuing himselfe 46 29 Of the willingnesse of Christ to die 47 30 Of the kinde of Christs death and oblation 48 31 Of the infinite value of the price of our redemption 48 32 Of Christs seeking the good of the Church 50 33 Of the particular ends why Christ gaue himselfe and of the condition of the Church before Christ tooke her 51 34 Of Christs preuenting grace 54 35 Of Christs seeking to make his Church pure 55 36 Of
the Churches iustification 55 37 Of the Churches sanctification 56 38 Of the Churches purity before God and man 56 39 Of the order and dependance of iustification and sanctification one vpon another 58 40 Of Sacramentall washing of water 59 41 How Baptisme is a meanes of cleansing and sanctifying 60 42 Obiections against the efficacie of Baptisme answered 61 43 What kinde of meanes of grace baptisme is 62 44 Of the necessitie of baptisme 62 45 Of the contrarie extremes of Papists and Ana. baptists about the necessity and efficacie of baptisme 63 46 Of the inward washing by baptisme 65 47 Of ioyning the word with baptisme 66 48 Of the inference of glorification vpon instification and sanctification 68 49 Of the fruition of Christs presence in heauen 70 50 Of the glory of the Church in heauen 72 51 Of the Churches freedome from all deformity in heauen 73 52 Of the perfect puritie of the Church in heauen 74 53 Of the application of the things which Christ hath done for the the Church vnto husbands 75 54 Of the application of the loue which a man beareth to himselfe vnto an husband 76 55 Of the amplification of a mans loue of himselfe 78 56 Of mans naturall affection to himselfe 79 57 Of naturall selfe-loue 80 58 Of spirituall selfe-loue 82 59 Of euill self-loue 82 60 Of the error of Stoicks in condemning all passion 83 61 Of well vsing naturall affection 83 62 Of mans forbearing to wrong himselfe 84 63 Of vnnaturall practises against ones selfe 85 64 Of haters of others 86 65 Of mans care in prouiding and vsing things needfull for his body 87 66 Of them that neglect to cherish their bodies 88 67 Of contentment in that which is sufficient 89 68 Of Christs forbearing to hate the Church 90 69 Of Christs nourishing and cherishing his Church 91 70 Of the vnion betwixt Christ and the Saints 93 71 Of the priuiledges appertaining to the Saints euen in this life by reason of their vnion with Christ 98 72 Of the priuiledge of our vnion with Christ in the time of death 102 73 Of the priuiledge of our vnion with Christ after death 103 74 Of the duties which are required of the Saints by vertue of their vnion with Christ 104 75 Of their regeneration who are members of Christ 105 76 Of the author of our regeneration Christ 106 77 Of the matter of our regeneration Christ 108 78 Of the excellency of regeneration 109 79 Of the ancient law of mariage 110 80 Of preferring husband or wife before parents 112 81 Of the firmnesse of the matrimoniall bond 114. 82 Of two only to be ioyned together in mariage 114 83 Of polygamy and bigamy 115 84 Of the neere coniunction of man and wife together 115 85 Of the matrimoniall coniunction of Christ and the Church 117 86 Of Christs leauing his father and mother for his spouse 120 87 Of the indissoluble vnion betwixt Christ and the Church 121 88 Of the equall priuiledge of all the Saints 122 89 Of the neere vnion betwixt Christ and the Church 123 90 Of the mysterie of the vnion of Christ and the Church 124 91 Of the Popes vsurping to be spouse of the Church 125 92 Of the false sacrament of mariage 126 93 Of the summe of husbands and wiues duties 128 94 Of applying the word to our selues 129 95 Of euery ones looking to his owne duties especially 130 96 Of the meaning of the first verse of the sixt chapter 132 97 Of the meaning of the second verse 134 98 Of aiming at our owne in seeking the good of others 137 99 Of preferring honestie before commoditie 138 100 Of the meaning of the third verse 139 101 Of prosperity how far forth it may be a blessing 140 102 Of prosperity bestowed on the wicked how it proues a curse 141 103 How both hauing and wanting prosperity is a blessing to the Saints 142 104 Of long-life how farre forth it is a blessing 143 105 Of long life prouing a curse to the wicked 144 106 Of limiting the promises of temporall blessings 144 107 Of appropriating prosperity and long life to the obedience which children yeeld to their parents 145 108 Of Gods ordering his fauours so as they may appeare to be true blessings 147 109 Of Gods high account of dutifull children 148 110 Of childrens doing good to themselues by honouring their parents 148 111 Of parents doing good to their children by keeping them vnder obedience 149 112 Of the perpetuity of the substance of such things as in their circumstances respecting the Iewes are vanished 150 113 Of the determined period of mans life 151 114 Of reward promised to obedience that it implieth no merit 153 115 Of the connexion of parents dutie with childrens 153 116 Of the extent of these words fathers children 154 117 Of parents prouoking children 155 118 Of parents seeking the good of their children 156 119 Of parents nurturing their children 157 120 Of parents fixing precepts in their childrens mindes 158 121 Of adding information to discipline 158 122 Of parents teaching their children the feare of God 159 123 Of the subiection which beleeuing seruants owe. 159 124 Of the meaning of the fift verse 160 125 Of the meaning of the sixt verse 164 126 Of the meaning of the seuenth verse 168 127 Of the meaning of the eight verse 168 128 Of the connexion of masters duties with seruants 171 129 Of the meaning of this phrase doe the same things 172 130 Of masters forbearing threatning 174 131 Of masters subiection to a greater master 175 132 Of Gods being in heauen 175 133 Of Gods hauing no respect of persons 177 II. TREATISE PART I. Of husband and wife who are so to be accounted § 1. OF those who may seeke to be maried 179 2 Of ripenesse of yeares in them that are to be maried 180 3 Of impotent persons that ought not to seeke after mariage 181 4 Of barrennesse that it hindereth not mariage 182 5 Of that ineuitable danger which hindereth mariage 183 6 Of the lawfulnesse of mariage to all sorts of persons 183 7 Of the things which are absolutely necessary to make a person fit for mariage 185 8 Of the lawfulnesse of other mariages after one of the maried couple is dead 186 9 Of equality in yeares betwixt husband and wife 188 10 Of equality in estate and condition betwixt those that are to be maried together 189 11 Of equality in piety and religion betwixt those that are to be maried together 191 12 Of mariages betwixt persons of diuers professions 192 13 Of that mutuall liking which must passe betwixt mariageable persons before they be maried 196 14 Of a contract what it is 198 15 Of the grounds of a contract 198 16 Of the reasons which shew how requisite a contract is 200 17 Of abusing or neglecting a contract 202 18 Of the distance of time betwixt a contract and mariage 202 19 Of a religious consecrating of mariage
in marying without their parents consent 450 20 Of obiections for childrens marying without parents consent answered 451 21 Of sâ—ealing children from parents for mariage sake 452 22 Of ministers sinne in marying children without parents consent 452 23 Of childrens forbearing to dispose any of their parents goods without consent 453 24 Of the sinne of children in purloining and wasting their parents goods 454 25 Of childrens contentednesse to be apparelled after their parents minde and liking 456 26 Of childrens forbearing to binde themselues to doe any thing against their parents consent 456 27 Of childrens actiue obedience 457 28 Of childrens obedience to their parents commandements 457 29 Of childrens disobedience to their parents commandements 459 30 Of childrens obedience to their parents instruction 459 31 Of childrens patience to their parents reproofe 460 32 Of childrens readinesse to amend what is iustly reproued by their parents 461 33 Of childrens submission to their parents correction 462 34 Of refusing or abusing correction 463 35 Of childrens conforming their iudgements to their parents 464 36 Of childrens yeelding to practise at their parents command such things as in their iudgements they cannot thinke very meet 465 37 Of the restraint of childrens obedience 467 38 Of childrens sinne in yeelding to their parents against God 468 39 Of childrens recompence 469 40 Of infirmities whereunto parents are subiect 470 41 Of childrens bearing with their parents infirmities 470 42 Of childrens couering their parents infirmities 471 43 Of childrens bearing with their parents casuall necessities 472 44 Of childrens releeuing their parents according to their need 473 45 Of childrens care to burie their parents being dead 475 46 Of decency wherewith children ought to see their parents buried 477 47 Of childrens paying their parents debts after their death 478 48 Of childrens suppressing euill reports against their parents deceased 479 49 Of childrens imitating their parents good example 479 50 Of the superstitious dutie enioyned by Papists to children after their parents decease 481 51 Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens seeking to reuenge their parents wrongs 481 52 Of the manner of performing childrens duties 482 53 Of the aberrations of children in the manner of their obedience 483 54 Of the equall respect that Children are to beare to both parents 484 55 Of pretences alledged to obey father rather then mother 485 56 Of the difference of childrens subiection to naturall parents and to such as only are in the place of parents 487 57 Of childrens subiection to fathers and mothers in law 488 58 Of childrens subiection to Guardians Tutors c. 489 59 Of the place of parents whereby children ought to be moued to obey them 490 60 Of the equitie whereby children should be moued to obey their parents 491 61 Of Gods accepting childrens obedience 492 62 Of Gods charge how inuiolable a bond it is to tie children to obey their parents 493 63 Of the title First giuen to the fift commandement 494 64 Of Gods promise mouing children to obey their parents 495 VI. TREATISE Of Parents Duties § 1. OF the heads of parents duties 497 2 Of that loue which parents owe to their children 498 3 Of the contraries to loue 499 4 Of parents praying for their children 500 5 Of vices contrary to parents praying for their children 501 6 Of parents endeuouring to be righteous that they may leaue Gods blessing to their children 502 7 Of the preposterous course which couetous and vniust parents take for the good of their children 503 8 Of parents prouidence for their children 505 9 Of a mothers care ouer her childe while it is in her wombe 505 10 Of prouiding things needfull for the childe so soone as it is borne and of cruelty contrary thereunto 506 11 Of giuing sucke to children 507 12 Of mothers giuing sucke to their owne children 508 13 Of the obiections for putting children forth to nurse 513 14 Of the fathers duty in incouraging his wife to nurse her childe 517 15 Of the faults contrary to a mothers nursing her childe 517 16 Of a fathers fault in hindring his wiues nursing of her childe 518 17 Of parents ioynt care about their childrens baptisme 518 18 Of the reasons to moue parents to see their children baptised 519 19 Of parents procuring their children to be rightly baptised 521 20 Of parents care to giue a fit name to their childe at his baptisme 522 21 Of parents care in bringing their children to be baptised in due season 523 22 Of parents faults in neglecting their childrens Baptisme 523 23 Of parents prouiding things needfull for the life and health of their children 525 24 Of parents too much niggardlinesse and carelesnesse towards their children 527 25 Of parents too much lauishnesse and indulgency vpon their children 527 26 Of well nurturing children 529 27 Of parents neglect in nurturing children 529 28 Of parents teaching their children good manners 530 29 Of the obiections against good manners 531 30 Of parents suffering their children to be rudely brought vp 532 31 Of parents training vp their children to some good calling 532 32 Of parents care in choosing a fit calling for their children 534 33 Of parents faults contrary to their duty of training their children vp to a calling 535 34 Of parents teaching their children piety 536 35 Of directing parents how to teach their children true piety 539 36 Of parents faults contrary to their dutie of teaching their children piety 542 37 Of instructing children so soone as they are capable 543 38 Of mothers peculiar care in nurturing young children 546 39 Of letting slip the best time for nurture 547 40 Of parents continuing to nurture their children 547 41 Of parents folly in letting goe all their power ouer their children 548 42 Of adding admonition to instruction 548 43 Of parents wearisomnesse in instructing their children 550 44 Of parents reprouing their children 550 45 Of parents cockering their children 551 46 Of correcting children 552 47 A direction to parents in correcting their children 555 48 Of parents too much indulgency 557 49 Of parents too much scuerity in correcting their children 558 50 Of parents care in prouiding fit callings for their children 558 51 Direction for parents in prouiding callings for their children 560 52 Of the extremes contrary to a parents lawfull care in prouiding fit callings for his children 561 53 Of parents care in prouiding fit mariages for their children 563 54 Direction to parents in prouiding mariages 564 55 Of the extremes contrary to parents care in prouiding fit mariages for their children 564 56 Of parents prouiding a stocke for callings and mariages of their children 565 57 Of the extremes contrary to a parents prouiding portions for his children 566 58 Of parents last speech to their children 567 59 Of parents last blessing to their children 569 60 Of parents care to commend their children to some faithfull friends 569 61 Of parents neglect of their children for time to come 570 62
for according to the notation of it it signifieth such as are begotten and borne Answerable is the other word parents which signifieth such as beget and bring forth children Yet are they not so strictly to be taken as if none but such as begat and brought forth or such as are begotten and brought forth of them were meant for vnder the title parents he includeth all such as are in the place of naturall parents as Grandfathers and Grandmothers Fathers in law and Mothers in law Foster-fathers and Foster-mothers Guardians Tutors and such like gouernors and vnder the title children he compriseth Grand-children Sonnes and daughters in law Wards Pupils and such like For there is an honour and a subiection due by all who are in place of children to all such as are in place of parents though in a different kinde as we shall after shew This word children which in the originall is of the neuter gender doth further include both sexes males and females sonnes and daughters so as either of them are as carefully to apply the duties here set forth to themselues as if in particular both kindes had beene expressed He expresseth parents in the plurall number to shew that he meaneth here also both sexes father and mother as the law expresseth both and addeth this relatiue particle your as by way of restraint to shew that euery child is not bound to euery parent so by way of extent to shew that whatsoeuer the estate of parents be honourable or meane rich or poore learned or vnlearned c. their owne children must not be ashamed of them but yeeld all bounden dutie to them if they be parents to children they must be honoured by children The word Obey vnder which all duties of children are comprised according to the Greeke notation signifieth with an humble submission to hearken that is to attend and giue heed to the commandements reproofes directions and exhortations which are giuen to them and that with such a reuerend respect of the parties who deliuer them as they make themselues conformable thereto A dutie proper to inferiours and implieth both reuerence and obedience the verbe noteth out Obedience the preposition Reuerence Vnder this word Obey the Apostle comprehendeth all those duties which thorowout the Scripture are required of children as is manifest by his owne exemplification thereof in the second verse by the word honour which the law vseth so as this word obey is to be taken in as large an extent as that word honour Quest Why is obedience put for all the rest Answ 1. Because it is the hardest of all the rest and that which children are loathest to performe they who willingly yeeld to this will sticke at no duty 2. Because it is the surest euidence of that honour which a childe oweth to his parent and so of performing the fift commandement 3. Because children are bound to their parents the duties which they performe are not of curtesie but necessity Their parents haue power to command and exact them The clause added in the Lord is in effect the same which was vsed before as vnto the Lord and it noteth forth a limitation direction and instigation a limitation shewing that childrens obedience to their parents is to be restrained to the obedience which they owe to Christ and may not goe beyond the limits thereof a direction shewing that in obeying their parents they must haue an eye to Christ and so obey them as Christ may approue thereof an instigation shewing that parents beare the image of Christ and in that respect children must the rather obey their parents The last clause of this verse for this is right is an expresse reason to inforce the forenamed point of obedience and it is drawne from equity and sheweth that it is a point agreeable to all law yea that in way of recompence it is due and if children be not obedient to parents they doe that which is most vniust they defraud their parents of their right The former phrase in the Lord implying one reason this plainly noteth out another as the first particle for declareth §. 97. Of the meaning of the second verse EPHES. 6. 2. Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandement with promise THe very words of the fift commandement are here alleaged by the Apostle as a confirmation of the forenamed reason that it is iust and right to obey parents because God in the morall law enioyneth as much The law is more generall then the Apostles precept for the law compriseth vnder it all those duties which all kinde of inferiours owe to their superiours whether they be in family church or common wealth but the Apostles precept is giuen only to one kinde of inferiours in the family yet the argument is very sound and good from a generall to a particular thus All inferiours must honour their superiours therefore children their parents By adding the expresse words of the law the Apostle sheweth that the subiection which he required of children is no yoke which he of his owne head put on their neckes but that which the morall law hath put on them so as this may be noted as a third reason namely Gods expresse charge in his morall law If I should handle this law according to the full extent thereof I should wander too farre from the Apostles scope I will therefore open it no further then it may concerne the point in hand viz. the duty of children Honour compriseth here all those duties which children in any respect owe to their parents It implieth both an inward reuerend estimation and also an outward dutifull submission Yea it implieth also recompence and maintenance Honour in relation to parents is vsed for two reasons especially 1. To shew that parents beare Gods image for honour is properly due to God alone to the creature it is due only as it standeth in Gods roome and carieth his image 2. To shew that it is an honour to parents to haue dutifull children euen as it is a dishonour to them to haue disobedient children Both father and mother are expresly mentioned to take away all pretence from children of neglecting either of them for through the corruption of nature we are prone to seeke after many shifts to exempt vs from our bounden dutie and if not in whole yet in as great a part as we can Some might thinke if they honour their father who is their mothers head they haue done what the law requireth others may thinke they haue done as much if they honour their mother who is the weaker vessell but the law expressing father and mother condemneth him that neglecteth either of them Yet to shew that if opposition should arise betwixt them and by reason thereof both could not be obeyed together the father commanding what the mother forbiddeth the father is to be preferred especially if it be not against the Lord the father
as being seduced by Iesuites Priests or Friers take the Sacrament and thereupon by solemne vow and oath binde themselues neuer to read an English Bible nor any Protestants bookes no nor to goe to any of their Churches or to heare any of their Sermons and such most of all as enter into some Popish Nunnery and vow neuer to returne to their husbands againe Obiect Annah vowed her childe to God without her husbands consent why may not they much more vow themselues to God Answ Assuredly she was perswaded that her husband would not be against it and so had an implicit consent which may well be gathered because afterwards she made it knowne to him as both the name giuen to the childe and that speech of Annah I will bring him that he may appeare before the Lord and there abide for euer and the answer of her husband The Lord establish his word and his going vp with her when he was dedicated to the Lord doe all shew Thus farre of the first branch of a wiues submission in abstaining from doing things without her husbands consent The second followeth in doing the things which herequireth §. 43. Of a wiues actiue Obedience It is a good proofe and triall of a wiues obedience to abstaine from doing such things as otherwise she would doe if her husbands contrarie will did not restraine her but yet that is not sufficient there must be an actiue as well as a passiue obedience yeelded That old Law before mentioned thy desire shall be subiect to thine husband and he shall rule ouer thee implieth so much also If she refuse to doe what he would haue her to doe her desire is not subiect to him but to her selfe neither doth he rule ouer her This actiue part of her obedience hath respect 1. To his commandements readily to doe what he lawfully commands 2. To his reproofes carefully to redresse what he iustly blameth For the first so farre ought a wife to be from thinking scorne to be commanded by her husband that the very knowledge which by any meanes she hath of her husbands minde and will â—ought to haue the force of a straight commandement with her This readinesse to obey is commended in the wiues of Iaakob to whom when Iaakob had declared what motiues he had to depart from their fathers house intimating thereby that he meant to depart and would haue them to goe with him yet before he particularly expressed his will they readily answered Whatsoeuer God hath said vnto thee doe whereby they gaue him to vnderstand that they were ready to yeeld vnto whatsoeuer he would haue done §. 44. Of a wiues willingnesse to dwell where her husband will To make this part of a wiues obedience somewhat more cleare I will exemplifie it by two or three particular instances recorded and approued in Gods word The first is that a wife ought to be willing to dwell where her husband will haue her dwell The wiues of Abraham Isaak and Iaakob herein manifested their wiue-like obedience though their husbands brought them from their owne countrey and from their fathers house yet they refused not to goe with them but dwelt in a strange countrey and that in tents Note in particular what Iaakobs wiues say to their husband in this case Is there any portion or inheritance for vs in our fathers house implying thereby that seeing it was their husbands pleasure to be gone they would not any longer tarry in their fathers house to looke for any more portion or inheritance there These examples doe further shew that if an husband haue iust occasion to remoue from one country to another and in those countries from place to place his wife ought to yeeld to goe with him if he require it at her hands Note what the Apostle saith haue we not power to lead about a wife That interrogation implieth a strong asseueration The husband then hauing power to lead about a wife from place to place she ought to submit her selfe to that power This clause as well as other Apostles and as the brethren of the Lord and Cephas sheweth that this was not only a power which might be vsed but which was vsed by husbands and yeelded vnto by wiues Obiect The forenamed examples are extraordinary and that vpon extraordinary occasions Answ Yet they may be patternes for ordinary occasions which are lawfull and warrantable Was it not an extraordinary fact of Eliah to pray first that there might be no raine and then againe that there might be raine yet is this propounded as a generall patterne to moue vs to pray for things lawfull Now in laying downe this dutie I added the clause and caueat of iust occasion to meet both with such as vpon discontent or superstition leaue the land where the true Gospell is maintained and preached and goe into idolatrous places and also with such wandring giddy heads as only to satisfie their owne humour and to see fashions as we speake can neuer rest in a place but are continually remouing from countrey to countrey and from place to place I thinke to vse the words of the Apostle a wife is not vnder bondage in such cases But if a man be sent of an ambassage by his Prince or countrey or if a Preacher or Professor be called into another countrey as Bucer and Peter Martyr were into England in King Edwards daies which to this day is vsuall in other countries or if a man be adiudged vnto long imprisonment and vpon these and other like occasions shall require his wife to be with him she ought in dutie to yeeld vnto his demand Contrary is the minde and practise of many wiues who being affected and addicted to one place more then another as to the place where they were bred and brought vp where their greatest best and most friends dwell and where they haue good acquaintance refuse to goe and dwell where their husbands calling lieth though he require and desire them neuer so much Thus many husbands are forced to their great dammage for peace sake to yeeld vnto their wiues and so either to relinquish their calling or to haue two houses whence it followeth that sometimes they must neglect their seruants and calling and sometimes be absent from their wiues if not from their children also Some wiues pretend that they cannot endure the smoake of the citie other that they cannot endure the aire of the countrie whereas indeed their owne humour and conceit stuffes them more then either citie smoake or countrie aire I cannot call such the daughters of Sarah herein they are not like those forenamed holy women that trusted in God and were subiect to their husbands but rather like to that light housewife of the Leuite who would not dwell in her husbands house at mount Ephraim but at her fathers house in Beth-lehem Iudah Such wiues as I speake of in matrimoniall chastitie may be more honest
well as they can the storme of their parents displeasure To preuent such contempt of the power of parents and to establish that authority which God hath giuen them ouer their children mariages without or against parents consent as aforesaid are in many Churches made voide §. 17. Of the equity of the point and reasons why children should haue their parents consent vnto their marriage 1. By mariage children are put from their parents for Man must leaue his Father and Mother and cleaue vnto his wife Is it not then great reason that they from whom children had their being and by whom they haue beene maintained and trained vp till the time of their mariage should haue notice of that kind of leauing them and consent thereto 2. A parents power by the marriage of his childe is passed ouer to the husband or wife of the childe And shall such a power be taken away without consent of parent 3. Children for the most part being heady and rash for want of experience and seeking more to satisfie their present carnall desire then to prouide a good lasting helpe for themselues but parents by the instinct of nature louing their children as well as children loue themselues and hauing by much experience better vnderstanding of a meete helpe and better able to vse their discerning gift in this case because it is not their owne case and yet the case of one whom they loue as themselues and to whom they wish as much good as to themselues is it not meete euen for the childs good that in a matter of such moment as mariage the parent should haue a stroake §. 18. Of a childs cariage in case a parent prouide an vnfit mate or none at all Quest What if parents vrge their children to marry such as they can not affect and loue must children therein against their minde and liking yeeld obedience Answ If there be no iust exception against the partie commended they ought with the vttermost of their power to endeauour to bring their affection to the bent of their parents will and as an helpe thereunto be perswaded that their parents are as carefull of their good as they themselues are and wiser then themselues yea aboue all they ought to make instant prayer vnto God in whose hand mans heart is to turne it whither soeuer he will that he would be pleased to alter the course of their affection and to settle it on the party whom their parent hath chosen for them if at least they see no iust cause to the contrary But if notwithstanding all the meanes that they can vse they still finde their heart altogether auerse they may in a reuerend manner entreat their parent to forbeare to presse that match and to thinke of some other 2. Quest What if the parent be negligent and in due time prouide no fit match may not the childe prouide one for himselfe Answ A parents negligence is not a sufficient pretext to make a child cast off that subiection which he oweth to his parent Yet I deny not but that a childe knowing where a fit match is to be had may make knowne as much to his parent as Sampson did and craue both his consent and help thereunto And if his parent giue no eare to his humble suit he may vse the mediation of his kindred or other friends Yea if necessity require that the childe be married and his parent adde wilfulnesse to negligence and will not be moued at all neither by the humble suit of his childe nor by the earnest solicitation of any friends meanes may be made to the Magistrate who is in Gods place ouer the parent as well as ouer the childe and ought to afford releefe vnto the childe and what the Magistrate doth in that case is as good a warrant to the childe as if the parent had done it The like meanes may be vsed if a parent be an Idolater Hereticke or Atheist and will not yeeld that his childe be married to any but to one of his owne profession and disposition §. 19. Of the sinne of Children in marrying without their parents consent Contrary is the minde and practise of such children as ouer lightly esteeming their parents power take matches of their owne choice and that sometimes priuily without giuing any notice at all to their parents and sometimes most rebelliously against their parents mind and charge not much vnlike those who in the old world are condemned for taking wiues of all that they chose which was one branch of that wickednesse for which the world was drowned or rather like Esau who tooke such wiues as proued a griefe to his parents What blessing can be expected to fall vpon such mariages or rather what curse may not be feared to follow them Gods law is transgressed thereby his Image in parents despised that which is more proper to them then any goods or fraudulently or violently taken from them their soules grieued thereat and they oft prouoked to cast off their children and curse their mariages Now Gods curse doth oft follow the iust curse of a parent §. 20. Of obiections for childrens marrying without parents consent answered 1. Obiect Though Iaakob married one wife according to his parents direction yet he married other three at least the two maides without their consent 1. Answ Iaakobs example in marrying more wiues then one is not iustifiable 2. Answ Iaakob had a generall consent of his parents to take a wife of the daughters of Laban if therefore his marying of two wiues had beene lawfull neither this nor that daughter had beene taken without all consent of his parents As for the two maids of whom he had children neither of them was his wife for long after they had children they are called his maids and distinguished from his wiues 2. Obiect Seruants may mary without their masters consent why then not children without their parents 1. Answ It is not lawfull for seruants so to doe while the â—ate of their couenant lasteth 2. Answ Though the seruitude of a seruant be greater â—hen of a childe yet a parent hath in many respects a greater â—ower ouer his childe then a master ouer his seruant The â—ower which a master hath is by a mutuall couenant betwixt him and his seruant and by the voluntary subiection of a serâ—ant vnto his master But the power of a parent is by the bond of nature in that a childe hath his being from his parents Beâ—ides this subiection of a childe to his parents in case of marriage is not for seruitude but for the good of the childe 3. Obiect Children marry for themselues and not for their parents why then should parents consent be so much stood vpon 1. Answ Though they marie not for their parents yet they marie from their parents by mariage they are freed from the power of their parents 2. Answ Children are not their owne they
are the inheritance of the Lord the Lord hath giuen them to parents as an inheritance a childe therefore may no more marry for himselfe without consent of parents then alienate his parents goods for himselfe §. 21. Of stealing children from parents for mariage sake To the forenamed sinne and to the vengeance thereof doe they make themselues accessary who fraudulently allure or violently take away children to marry them otherwise then their parents would This is a worse kinde of felony then stealing away the goods of a man For children are much more properly a mans owne then his goods and dearer to him then any goods can be yea and so much more highly to be esteemed by how much reasonable creatures are to be preferred before senselesse and sensuall things Our statute law expresly condemneth this and imposeth a seuere punishment on such as shall offend therein And iustly doe such offenders deserue to be seuerely punished both in regard of the heinousnesse of the sinne and also in regard of the many mischiefes which follow thereon as Alienation of parents affection from their children Disinheriting heires Enmity betwixt the friends of each party so married Litigious suits in law Ruine of families and if the personages whose children are married without their parents consent be great and noble Disturbance of whole townes cities and nations Instance the destruction of the Shechemites Gen. 34. This is said to haue beene the cause of the tenne yeares warre betwixt the Grecians and Troianes and of the ruine of Troy §. 22. Of ministers sinne in marying children without parents consent Such ministers also as through Carelesnesse not taking due account of the parties whom they marie whether they haue their parents consent or no or through bribery being hired by reward doe marie such children as they know haue not their parents consent doe in an high degree make themselues accessary to the forenamed sinne Their fact is as bad as the fact of the principals themselues Their solemnization of such mariages emboldneth both the parties that are so maried and also all the persons that are present thereat They highly dishonour Gods holy ordinance in that bearing the person of God they say of such as God hath forbidden to be so ioyned together Those whom God hath ioyned together let no man put asunder If ministers had not their hand in such vnlawfull mariages they could not be made for our Church ratifieth no mariage but what is made by a minister Wherefore some minister or other is guilty of this foule sinne whensoeuer any childe is maried without consent of parents Well therefore doth our Church to preuent this sinne expresly forbid ministers to marie any without parents consent and inflict a seuere censure on them that shall offend therein §. 23. Of childrens forbearing to dispose any of their parents goods without consent A third branch of the subiection of children in forbearing to doe any thing without their parents consent is about their parents goods That children though liuing in their parents house ought not without their parents consent to dispose their goods is euident by the extent of their obedience in all things In that Isaak was pleased to send Iaakob to Padan Aram without any great prouision it seemeth that Iaakob made conscience of taking any thing priuily but went as his father sent him with his staffe And the apology which he made to Laban his father in law concerning things taken away sheweth that he held it vnlawfull for children priuily to conuey â—way their parents goods What is my trespasse what is my sinne saith he what hast thou found of all my houshold-stuffe Doth he not hereby imply that if Labans daughters had â—aken away any of their fathers goods it had beene a trespasse â—nd sinne The Apostle saith of the heire who of all the children may seeme to haue the greatest right that as long as he is a childe that is vnder the gouernment of his parents he differeth nothing from a seruant though he be Lord of all If he differ not from a seruant what right can he haue at his pleasure to dispose his parents goods Hath a seruant any such right It is very requisite that children herein should be tied to their parents consent both for the good of parents and of children themselues Of parents that they may know what they haue or haue not and accordingly order their expences How can parents tell what they haue if children priuily without their knowledge purloin and dispose their goods Of children that their lauish humor might by this meanes be restrained for youth is much prone beyond moderation to spend if it haue wherewithall and that their parents may the better lay vp for them §. 24. Of the sinne of children in purloining and wasting their parents goods Contrary is both the opinion and practise of many children For opinion many thinke and say that whatsoeuer is their parents is theirs also and thereupon being through the watchfull eie and prouident care of their parents restrained from ouerlauish spending or from laying out any thing with their owne hands they murmure against that restraint Knowledge and perswasion of their subiection in this case would be a good meanes to suppresse that repining humour For practise 1. Some priuily take away and purloine what goods money wares or any thing else they can come by of their parents This the holy Ghost accounteth plaine theft for Rachel hauing priuily taken away her fathers idolls the Scripture saith that she stole them Hereunto doe they make themselues accessary who counsell and incourage children so to doe as many busibodies and deceitfull persons aduise daughters when God hath taken away their mothers to take away linnen and other-like houshold-stuffe from their father pretending that their father may marie another wife who will carrie all away And vpon like pretence also perswade sons when their fathers die to conuey away what they can from their mother But such pretences are no sufficient warrant vnto children to deceiue their parents It were better for children to be depriued of their parents goods then to enioy them with such deceit for they will be like that bread which is sweet to a man and afterward his mouth is filled with grauell 2. Others riotously spend their portion like the prodigall childe and runne into debt and so make their parents either to pay it or to leaue them to the law Many Schollers at the Vniuersities Gentlemen at Innes of Court and such children as are somewhat liberally trained vp in their parents or other friends houses doe much offend herein Little doth this excesse and riot differ from the forenamed kinde of theft and ordinarily it bringeth as many mischiefes as that doth 3. Some also be so vngracious and vngratefull that being come to yeeres and their parents growne old seeke to defeat their parents of all they haue and
to bring their parents vnder them to be ordered by them labouring to get possession of all before their parents be dead or before they be willing to resigne any such right vnto their children Such were Absolom and Adoniah How highly displeasing such practises are to God the vengeance which fell vpon the pates of those two Brethren in euill traiterous and disloyall children doth shew All such children as seeke after the forenamed or any other like meanes to defraud their parents doe very ill repay their parents care ouer them and more like Barbarians then Christians recompence euill for good they oft bring pouerty and ignominy vpon their parents and themselues they are worse then other theeues because they are more deerely accounted of and more freely trusted yea they are a very bad example to seruants in the house or subiects in the commonwealth §. 25. Of childrens contentednesse to be apparelled after their parents minde and liking IIII. A fourth branch of the foresaid subiection of children is about their apparell that it be no other then may stand with their parents good liking It is noted that Israel made Ioseph a coat doth not the particular mentioning of that circumstance shew that parents must haue the ordering of their childrens apparell Which is also intimated in the reason giuen of Tamars garment of diuers colours namely because with such garments were the kings daughters that were virgins apparelled And whereas Rebekah had the keeping of her sonne Esaus clothes it appeareth that his clothes were to the minde of his parents else he would haue hid them from them for further confirmation whereof it is noted that his apparell was pleasing to his father Contrary is the vaine-glorious humour of many children who to the griefe and discredit of their parents apparell themselues both against the minde and also aboue the ability and vnbeseeming the place and calling of their parents Among others many ministers children bring much discredit on their parents hereby Let all such proud Youths note how the Lord hath threatned to visit euen Kings children that are clothed with strange apparell §. 26. Of childrens forbearing to binde themselues to doe any thing against their parents consent V. The fift and last branch wherewith I will exemplifie the forenamed subiection of children shall be that which is expresly noted in the law namely a childes binding of it selfe by a vow The law giueth the parent power to disanull his childes vow It is therefore a childes dutie to abstaine from vowing without his parents consent Contrary are such vowes as Papists allure children to make namely vowes of continencie perpetuall virginitie regular obedience voluntarie pouertie with the like Though by these they be not drawne to forsake their parents which before we proued to be vtterly vnlawfull and though these in their nature were lawfull which they are not because they are against Gods law and ordinance and against Christian libertie and sauour too rankly of Iudaisme yea of a worse superstition yet without parents consent might they not be made As vnlawfull are oaths and other like meanes whereby children binde themselues to the performance of such indifferent things as their parents are not willing they should doe What doth this but bring a snare vpon the consciences of children and cause a necessitie of breaking one of Gods commandements either the third in breaking their vow or oath or the fift in disobeying their parents §. 27. Of childrens actiue obedience The affirmatiue and actiue part of a childs obedience consists in yeelding himselfe pliable to his parents will which must be added to the forenamed negatiue and passiue part of obedience in forbearing to doe things without consent of parents for manifestation of a true child-like affection and disposition toward the parent Passiue obedience may arise from meere fullennesse and stoutnesse of stomach For there are many who will forbeare to doe this or that without consent of parents because they are loth to aske their consent they had rather haue their owne wills crost in the things they desire then be made subiect to their parents will What doth this argue but a stout stomach and a disdainfull heart Besides to forbeare the doing of an vnlawfull thing is but to abstaine from euill But it is required of Christians to doe that which is good as well as to abstaine from that which is euill This is it which is commended in Iaakob he did not only forbeare to take such a wife as would be a griefe to his parents wherein his brother Esau had offended but also obeyed his parents in taking such a wife as they willed him to take This generall point we will exemplifie in foure particular instances namely in a childs obedience to his parents commandements instructions reproofes corrections §. 28. Of childrens obedience to their parents commandements I. What lawfull commandements soeuer parents giue to their children they must be ready to the vttermost of their power to obey Obey your parents saith the Apostle to children Parents by vertue of their place haue power and authoritie to command Children therefore must obey or else that power is to no purpose To demonstrate this by some particulars 1. If a parent call his childe or send for him he must readily come yea though he know not the occasion Eli was in place of a parent to Samuel whereupon the childe supposing that Eli called him ranne to him once and againe and againe Dauid when he was sent for by his father out of the field to be anointed King knew not the occasion yet came The twelue sonnes of Iaakob though men growne yet called for by their father assembled themselues together before him 2. If a parent be disposed to send his childe any whither or of any errand though it be farre off and may seeme somewhat troublesome yet he ought to goe and doe it The forenamed example of Iaakob the example also of Ioseph being sent to see whether it were well with his brethren and of the tenne sonnes of Iaakob being sent by their father into Egypt and of Dauid sent to visit his brethren in the hoste are in this case commended by the holy Ghost Of Dauid it is noted that he arose vp early and went as Ishai had commanded him which setteth forth his ready obedience 3. If a parent require his childe to attend vpon him he must also doe that When Abram was going vp to the top of Moriah his will was that his seruants should tarrie behinde and that his sonne Isaak should attend him and carry the wood for the sacrifice and accordingly Isaak obeyed 4. If a parent inioyne any taske or commit any businesse to his childe he ought faithfully to performe it This kinde of faithfull obedience is commended in Ioseph in the Rechabites and in Dauid with many others Ioseph by
reproofe that patience can be no better accounted of then dissimulation and plaine mockage When the father in law of Moses told him that what he did was not well he forthwith amended it But contrarily many lewd and vngracious children continue to goe on in their wicked courses though their parents againe and againe rebuke them for it Iust was Elies reproofe of his children but yet no amendment followed Now note the inference made thereupon by the holy Ghost They obeyed not the voice of their father because the Lord would slay them whereby is implied that to despise the iust reproofe of parents is an euident signe and forerunner of Gods heauy iudgement Salomon calls the childe which will heare no rebuke a Scorner which noteth out a most obstinate sinner that cannot be reclaimed and in that respect is scorned of the Lord. §. 33. Of Childrens submission to their parents correction IIII. Correction is a reall reproofe a reproofe in the highest degree euen the seuerest kinde of reproofe so as by subiection hereunto great tryall of obedience is made By the same meanes must a childes submission to his parent in this kinde of reproofe be manifested as in the former namely 1. By bearing patiently the correction which his parent shall giue him 2. By amending readily that for which he is iustly corrected The former of these is noted by the Apostle as a ruled case a matter not to be denied in these words We haue had fathers of our flesh which corrected vs and we gaue them reuerence One speciall part of this reuerence is a patient suffering therefore he inferres thereupon ought we not to be in subiection c. The latter is set forth by Salomon vnder an effect which followeth vpon the performance thereof for hauing aduised a parent to correct his childe he addeth this reason He shall giue thee rest yea he shall giue delight vnto thy soule how can this rest and delight be giuen but by the childes amendment of that for which he is corrected A parent taketh no delight in the paine and smart of his childe but in the fruit that followeth thereupon As a childes transgression is a griefe and vexation to the parent so his amendment causeth rest and delight Now this effect followeth not simply vpon correction but vpon the good vse thereof which is made by the childe It lyeth therefore in the childe and so lyeth vpon him as a dutie to giue this rest and delight to his parent by amending the fault for which he is corrected as he brought griefe to him by prouoking him to vse correction Thus shall neither parent repent the inflicting nor the childe repent the induring of correction That a childe may attaine to this degree of obedience he must duly consider both the Cause whereby his parent is moued to correct him and also the End which he aimeth at therein The cause is the loue he beareth to his childe The end which he aimeth at is his childes good If these motiues worke not obedience what can §. 34. Of refusing or abusing correction Contrary is disdaine on the one side and obstinacie on the other Disdaine when children scorne to be corrected by their parents and in that respect when by all the meanes they can vse they cannot auoid it they will mutter and murmure fret and fume rage and raue against their parents and despise and hate them for it Obstinacie when they will be no whit bettered thereby but still runne on in their leaud courses and rather waxe the worse for being corrected This may be counted the highest pitch of a childes rebellion for this is the last meanes which a parent can vse to reclaime his childe from desperate courses If this preuaileth not the law of God requireth that a parent should giue vp his childe into the hand of the Magistrate that he may be put to death Hitherto of the distinct branches of childrens Obedience The Extent thereof followeth §. 35. Of childrens conforming their iudgements to their parents The extent of childrens obedience is only implied in this Epistle to the Ephesians but it is expressed Col. 3. 20 in these words Children obey your parents IN ALL THINGS A large extent but not simply to be taken without any limitation for the Apostle himselfe noteth a restraint in these words In the Lord. So farre forth as children transgresse not any of Gods commandements in obeying their parents they ought to obey This is to obey in all things in the Lord. The extent of childrens duties being the very same that was of wiues duties and the restraint also the same that order which was there obserued shall here also be kept Only other proofes more pertinent to childrens place shall be brought to confirme those generall propositions which may be applied to any inferiours Many generall reasons there alledged for proofe of the propositions shall here be omitted Wherefore compare this place with that Thus we see that parents authority is very large there is no restraint of it but Gods contrary command whereof a childe must be assured if he refuse to obey his parent in any thing It is not enough for a childe to say I haue thus long and in thus many things obeyed my parent I hope in some things if I haue mine owne will I may be excused No All things comprise more then many things Wherefore Many are not enough And though Gods will be exempted yet is not thine owne will exempted though thou maiest doe nothing against Gods will yet thou oughtest to doe many things against thine owne will if it be contrary to thy parents Two things are to be laboured after by children for attaining to this extent of obedience in all things 1. They must labour to bring their iudgement and will to the bent of their parents to thinke that meet and conuenient for them to doe which their parents will haue them doe Though Isaak thought it somewhat strange that he should carry wood vp to an hill to offer sacrifice where was nothing for a burnt offering yet it being the will of his father that he should doe so he thought it meet enough for him to doe so This subiection of iudgement and will is to be yeelded in all the particular cases of obedience which were before propounded as in their calling mariage apparrell allowance c. So as children are to thinke that kinde of calling that particular match that apparrell and that allowance to be meetest for them which their parents thinke meete If the iudgement be perswaded of the meetnesse of a thing and the will inwardly brought to yeeld vnto it outward obedience will more readily and cheerefully bee yeelded thereunto Contrary is the ouerweining conceipt which many children haue of their owne iudgement and will who thinke they can better discerne what is fit and meete for themselues then their parents They imagine their parents
to be too strict and precise or too suspicious and iealous or too couetous and worldly This maketh them take what callings what matches what apparrell what allowance they thinke best whence many mischiefes arise which would all easily be auoided if they would lay downe that presumptuous conceit and labour to obserue the forenamed direction §. 36. Of childrens yeelding to practise at their parents command such things as in their iudgements they cannot thinke very meet 2. Though children cannot in their iudgements thinke that which their parents require to be the fittest and meetest yet being pressed thereto by the peremptory command of their parents in practise they ought to yeeld vnto it saying to their parents as Peter to the Lord Neuerthelesse at thy word I will doe this Thus did Iaakob yeeld to Rebekah he thought by doing that which his mother bid him he should seeme a â—â—ocker to his father yet she vrging him he did it Quest May not a childe yeelding better reason then his parent refuse to doe what he thinketh vnmeet or at least forâ—eare to doe what he is commanded till he be better informed â—f the meetnesse thereof Answ With reuerence and humility he may render his reason why he thinketh it not meete and desire his parent not to vrge it vpon him This did Iudah one of the sonnes of Iaakob and is not blamed for it and parents ought in such a case to yeeld to their children as Iaakob did But yet if in things indifferent parents be otherwise minded then their children and will haue their children yeeld to them they must yeeld For 1. In in different things the command of a parent is a warrant to the childe by reason of this extent all things so as the parent may sinne in commanding that in doing whereof the childe may not sinne Who can cleare Rebeckah of sinne in commanding Iaakob to deceiue his father yet I take it that Iaakob cannot iustly be blamed for obeying 2. Children doe thus manifest an high esteeme of their parents and very great respect towards them they shew how desirous they are to please them and how fearefull to offend them When the will of parent and childe consent there is no such triall 3. By this meanes peace and loue is better preserued betwixt parent and childe a parents anger is stopped the effects thereof auoided and many other mischiefes preuented which oft fall out when inferiours refuse to yeeld to their superiours who haue authority ouer them Contrary is their preposterous peremptorines who will doe nothing against their own mind will though their parents require it neuer so much This phrase If thou wilt not send we will not goe downe which Iudah vsed to his father though in a good cause was too peremptory for a childe They who obstinately refuse to doe those things which are against their owne minde must needs come short of this extent Obey in all things Yea they shew that what they doe is rather for their owne sakes because they like it then for their parents sake What obedience then may that be thought to be Yet this is all the obedience which many children will yeeld If they thinke not that which their parents require to be meet nor faire nor foule meanes shall moue them to doe it whereby many children doe much prouoke their parents Let such children know that it is euery way more safe for them at the instant command of their parent to doe that which they conceiue to be vnmeet then peremptorily to disobey their parents which is more then vnmeet euen vnlawfull §. 37. Of the restraint of childrens obedience The restraint of childrens obedience is expressed in this clause in the Lord which phrase affordeth a necessary limitation in obeying their parents who are but parents of our flesh men and women subiect to erre in their commandements and to require such sinfull things as their children may not with a good conscience performe The limitation then which the forenamed clause in the Lord affordeth is this Children must performe no other obedience to their parents then may stand with their obedience to God The reasons rendred by the Apostle proue as much This is right this is well pleasing to the Lord. But to obey parents against the Lord is neither right nor wellpleasing to the Lord. If therefore parents command their children to doe any thing which the Lord hath forbidden them they ought not to doe it On this ground did Michal well in suffering her husband Dauid to escape out of the handes of Saul her father I iustifie not her manner of carying the matter with vntruths and false tales but her refusing to yeeld to her fathers minde and will is iustifiable and that in two respects 1. In that the difference was betwixt her husband and father Now by Gods law a wife is to yeeld to her husband rather then to her father 2. Because she knew her father sought to slay him if then she had deliuered him into the hands of her father she had made her selfe accessary to murder In this latter respect Ioâ—â—athan also did well in refusing to fetch Dauid at his fathers command Thus if a father command his childe to goe to Masse to forsweare himselfe to marry an Idolater to steale to lie or to commit any other sinne forbidden by God the childe ought not to obey those things cannot be done in the Lord. Againe if parents forbid their children the doing of any necessary duty commanded of God the childe ought to doe it notwithstanding the parents inhibition We may well thinke that Ahaz who set himselfe so violently to deface the holy things of God to prophane his ordinances and to shut vp the doores of Gods House gaue strait charge to his sonne that he should not repaire them againe yet Hezekiah so soone as he had power did repaire all If a parent forbid his childe to goe to the Protestants Churches to heare a Sermon to pray in a knowne tongue to giue iust weight and measure to speake the truth when he is called to witnesse it with the like he must be of Daniels minde and notwithstanding that prohibition doe the things which God requireth §. 38. Of childrens sinne in yeelding to their parents against God Contrary to this limitation is on the one side a flattering eie-seruice in many children who care not what they doe be it good or euill lawfull or vnlawfull so they may please their parents thereby and on the other side a slauish fearefulnesse which maketh them so to dread their parents as they feare not God at all they will rather choose to sinne and so prouoke Gods wrath then doe any thing whereby their parents wrath may be prouoked It is a brand set vpon euill kings that they walked in the waies of their fathers and mothers and did wickedly as they counselled them Wherefore the following and obeying of
mothers in law Fathers and mothers in law are to be ranked in the first degree of those who are in the place of naturall parents Very good proofe there is in Scripture for childrens subiection to them The respect which Moses beare to his father in law and Ruth to her mother in law and Christ himselfe to his supposed father are commended for this very purpose Subiection is noted in Christs example Reuerence in Moses Recompence in Ruths The mariage bond maketh man and wife one flesh whereupon the naturall parent that marieth another maketh that other one with him and in that respect is as a parent to the children and by them ought to be accounted so The law of God maketh it plaine inâ—â—st for a sonne to vncouer the shame of his mother in law or for a father in law to vncouer the shame of his daughter in law Whereby it appeareth that fathers and mothers in law are by Gods law in the very place and steed of naturall parents to their children and accordingly as naturall parents are to be honoured Besides it is a great honour which a childe doth to his naturall father or mother to respect such as they haue made one flesh with themselues as they doe their owne parent So as to honour a father or mother in law is to honour a naturall parent Contrary is the minde and cariage of most children Very few beare a reuerend dutifull and child-like respect to stepfathers and step-mothers but for the most part despise them in heart grumble at them in speech and are very vndutifull in their behauiour whence it commeth to passe that they bring much griefe to their naturall parent and oft cause much discord and dissention betwixt their naturall and step-parentâ— being herein set on worke by Satan who laboureth what he can to disunite those whom God hath neerely vnited together and made one flesh Lamentable experience sheweth that the second third or any after-mariages are seldome so comfortable and peaceable as the first especially if either the one or other or both haue children The cause thereof for the most part is in children who brooke not fathers or mothers in law Obiect Nature cannot so well brooke a step-parent as a naturall parent Answ 1. If not so well yet despise them not there is a difference betwixt extremes 2. Conscience and religion ought to alter corrupt nature Looke to Gods ordinance and let Gods feare possesse thine heart that that may bring thee to doe what nature cannot 2. Obiect Fathers and Mothers in law seldome respect their husbands or wiues former children Answ This obiection more beseemeth the mouth of a barbarian then a Christian The Gospell teacheth to be subiect not only to the good and gentle but also to the froward and not to be ouercome of euill but to ouercome euill with goodnesse The Scripture reckoneth such as rise vp against their parents in law among such as rise vp against their naturall parents shewing thereby that the impietie of those is as blame-worthy as the impietie of these §. 58. Of childrens subiection to Guardians Tutors c. For childrens subiection to Gouernours Guardians and Tutors the Apostle saith that a childe is vnder them If by the law children are vnder them they ought in equitie to be subiect to them It is expresly noted of Esther euen after the King had chosen her for his wife that she did the commandement of Mordecai who was as a Guardian to her like as when she was brought vp with him A memorable patterne for this purpose What pretences might she haue made to haue cast off all manner of subiection Mordecai was but her cosen she was now aduanced aboue him a wife she was and so subiect to her husband yea a Kings wife and so her selfe a Queene yet she was subiect and her subiection commended We reade that the children of the Prophets much respected Elisha did reuerence to him and were obedient to him because he was as a father and tutor vnto them in which respect also Elisha was as a childe subiect to Eliah whom he called father Guardians Tutors and such like ouer-seers of children haue a parents charge laid vpon them as we shall after shew great reason therefore that child-like dutie should be yeelded to them Their honour must be answerable to their charge and care Contrary is the conceit of many lawlesse children whose parents being dead or they being sent and placed abroad out of the gouernment of their parents thinke they are cleane free from all gouernment and may liue as they list Their practise being correspondent to this opinion they runne into all riot and in time bring themselues to vtter ruine It is the ouerthrow of many children that they regard not their Guardians Tutors and Gouernours and God in iudgement bringeth many such refractarie children to some fearefull shamefull end or other Let children therefore be wise and not take too much libertie to themselues Thus farre haue beene handled the duties of children in their seuerall kindes the manner of performing them and the parties to whom they are to be performed It remaineth to speake of the reasons which the Apostle alledgeth to inforce those duties §. 59. Of the place of parents whereby children ought to be moued to obey them The reasons which the Apostle vseth to moue children to performe their dutie are foure The first is taken from the place of the parent The second from the equitie of the thing The third from Gods expresse charge The fourth from Gods promise I. The place of a parent is noted forth by this phrase IN THE LORD which as it affordeth a limitation and giueth a direction to children so it addeth a spur vnto them to stirre them vp to performe their dutie for it sheweth that parents are to then children in the Lords steed as an euidence thereof hath God communicated to them this glorious and honourable title FATHER which is proper and peculiar to himselfe Now then parents being to their children in Gods steed and by vertue of their place bearing Gods image children in obeying their parents obey God in refusing to obey them refuse to obey God A strong motiue is this first motiue For who is so void of religion but will thinke it most meet that God should be honoured or who so impious as to refuse to yeeld dutie to God Here then children may learne in one maine point how to honour the Lord shew themselues children of God And let them here by know that disobedient and vndutifull children that resist the authoritie of parents resist the ordinance of God and receiue to themselues damnation §. 60. Of the equitie whereby children should be moued to obey their parents II. The second reason in these words for this is right though it be not of greater force yet is it more plainly and expresly noted to be a reason as the
annexed to it so it is the first that God gaue of any dutie to be performed vnto man The very order of the decalogue manifesteth the truth hereof The reason is cleere Honour due to parents is the ground of all the duties required in the second table for if dutie be not performed to such as we are bound vnto by some peculiar bond may we thinke that it will be performed to such as we are bound vnto at large Now of all to whom we are first and most bound and to whom we owe our first dutie our parents are the persons They therefore who are rebellious against their parents and refuse to doe their dutie to them will hardly performe dutie to any other Little hope that a disobedient childe will proue a profitable member in Church or common-wealth Absolom who was a rebellious childe proued but a traiterous subiect and Hophâ—â— and Phineas that refused to hearken to the voice of their father proued but sacrilegious Priests Wherefore if any precept of the second table be conscionably to be obserued as all are for the same law-maker gaue all and Christ hath said that the second table is like the first then is this of honouring father and mother among the rest and aboue the rest to be obserued at least if difference of obseruing any may be made But this particle first being set downe not simply but with a connexion of promise with it The first with promise we are duly to consider the promise thereof whence a fourth reason ariseth §. 64. Of Gods promise mouing children to obey their parents The fourth reason taken from Gods promise is both generally propounded and particularly exemplified Propounded in this clause first with promise Exemplified in the third verse For the Generall Gods promise made to the performance of any duty cannot but be a strong motiue to stirre vs vp to performe it Men hereby doe stirre vp and prouoke one another to performe any thing Thus Kings when they would faine haue their subiects doe this or that promise such and such rewards vnto them Thus masters incite their seruants parents their children and one man another If the promises of men incourage vs to performe the things which they giue vs in charge how much more ought the promise of God Men â—re deceitfull and may deale doubly pretending one thing with their mouthes and intending another with their heart â—nd neuer meane to performe what they promise But God is faithfull and true his words are as deeds his promises as performances so as he neuer maketh shew of more then he means â—o performe Againe mans power is limited though he truly â—â—tend what he promiseth yet in the performance he may faile â—ither in that he knew not his owne power but thought when â—e made the promise he could haue done more then in the eâ—ent he findeth he can doe or in that he is after wards by some occasion hindered or disabled But Gods power cannot be so â—aitned or hindered Besides men may be taken away before â—etime of performing their promise is come but God euer â—â—eth and changeth not If then mans promises be any moues to any thing much more Gods who euer remaineth the â—me Betwixt God and man there is no proportion no comâ—rison This motiue doth exceedingly commend Gods fatherly indulgencie towards vs and the earnest desire he hath of our good For he hath such power and authoritie ouer all his creatures that the very knowledge of his will ought to prouoke them to performe any dutie which he shall command and if they obey not he might presently execute vengeance vpon them But considering that we are his children and need many allurements to draw vs on by little and little he accordingly dealeth with vs. He standeth not wholly and only vpon his authoritie but addeth promises thereto for this is a commandement with promise If notwithstanding all this children refuse to obey their parents may not the Lord iustly expostulate the matter with them as sometimes in another case he did with the Israelites and say Iudge betweene me and these children what could I haue done more that I haue not done I gaue them an expresse charge to honour their parents I laid it downe in the first place as a maine and principall charge to incourage them to keepe it I added a promise of good to redound to themselues what could I doe more Doe not they iustly deserue vengeance that regard none of these Thus in that this is a commandement with promise we see how children disobedient to their parents are both rebellious against God in regard of the commandement which they transgresse and iniurious to themselues in regard of the promise which they make to be void and of no effect Of this particular promise see more in the first treatise § 97 98 c. The sixth Treatise The Duties of Parents §. 1. Of the heads of Parents duties EPHES. 6. 4. And ye Fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. NExt to childrens follow Parents duties which the Apostle layeth down in this fourth verse where he noteth 1. The duties 2. The parties 1. That are to performe the duties Fathers 2. To whom they are to be performed Children The duties are set downe 1. By prohibition 2. By precept  The prohibition noteth out one extreme which is ouermuch rigour Prouoke not to wrath The inference of the precept vpon the prohibition noteth out another extreme which is ouer-much-remisnesse The precept it selfe enioyneth to parents three duties 1. To nourish children namely with food apparrell and other like necessaries Nourish them 2. To nurture them namely with good discipline In nurture 3. To instruct them namely in the waies of God And admonition of the Lord. Nature teacheth Vnreasonable Creatures to doe the First Ciuility Reasonable Men  Second  Piety Christians  Third  To these heads may all the seuerall points which I shall deliuer concerning parents duties be referred That Parents may the better discerne how one dutie followeth another I will proceed in this order 1. The fountaine of all duties shall be declared 2. The streames that issue thence  The streames shall be diuided into two riuers In the first are those generall duties that are continually to be done In the second such particular duties as are to be applied to the seuerall ages of children There are two principall generall duties 1. Faithfull prayer to God 2. Vpright walking with God All the particulars may be comprised vnder this one head A prouident care And this hath respect 1. To the Infancy of children 2. To their Youth 3. To the time of their placing forth 4. To the time of parents departing out of this world §. 2. Of that Loue which parents owe to their children The Fountaine of parents duties is Loue. This is expresly enioyned to them Many approued examples are recorded
children Another generall branch proceeding from parents loue to their children is that for their childrens sake they endeauour to walke vprightly before God and to please him This I doe the rather note because I finde the reward promised to righteous parents to be extended vnto their children The generation of the righteous shall be blessed saith Dauid And Salomon Blessed shall his children be after him and againe The good man shall giue inheritance vnto his childrens children This motiue is therefore vrged by the holy Ghost to prouoke parents vnto all righteousnesse Thus doth the Lord extend the reward of righteous parents vnto their children to shew his great good liking and high approbation of righteousnesse Reade for this purpose 1 King 11. 34. 2 King 10. 30. 1. Obiect The righteousnesse of the righteous shall be vpon himselfe Answ That is meant rather of a mans personall righteousnesse and grace it selfe which is not communicated to children then of the fruit thereof That faith in Christ feare of God obedience to Gods word or any other personall grace which is in righteous parents shall not iustifie or saue their children For the iust shall liue by his owne faith Yet this hindereth not but that the benefit and blessing of righteous parents may fall vpon their children according to the extent of Gods promise 2. Obiect By experience we finde it verified that the children of some righteous parents are cursed and the Scripture giueth vs many examples thereof as Cain Cham Absolom and others like them 1. Answ Such children by their vnworthy and degenerat cariage make forfeiture of Gods couenant and so depriue themselues of the benefit thereof 2. Answ Many good reasons may be giuen why God should sometimes alter his course and with-hold his blessings from the children of his seruants As 1. Lest Gods gifts and blessings should otherwise seeme to come rather by naturall propagation from the parent then by free donation from God 2. Lest parents should thereby be drawne to neglect the meanes of good education 3. Lest children also themselues trusting too much to their parents righteousnesse should take too much liberty and waxe licentious 4. Lest Gods free election should seeme hereby to be restrained 3. Obiect If this be so what motiue can it be vnto parents to labour after righteousnesse for their childrens sake Answ Though God doe reserue in himselfe a freedome to order his blessings as it pleaseth him and to bestow them vpon whom he will and thereupon sometimes blesseth the childe of a wicked parent instance Hezekiah denieth his blessing to the childe of a righteous parent instance Ammon yet in that it is a very vsuall course with him to extend his blessing according to his promise to the children of the righteous it is a strong motiue to such as desire the good of their children the rather for their childrens sake to endeauour after righteousnesse for thus doe they vse the meanes which by Gods word is warranted and sanctified for procuring Gods blessing to their children Leaue therefore a good memory to thy children rather then much wealth §. 7. Of the preposterous course which couetous and vniust parents take for the good of their children Contrary is the course of such parents as by vnrighteous meanes thinke to prouide well for their children For many doe not only too carkingly and distrustfully moile and toile to scrape together great masses of money or great store of land or other stockes for their children neglecting duties of piety and mercy but also by vniust and wrongfull courses defraud others to make their children rich So common is this vndue course of prouiding for children as thence hath arisen this prouerbe Happy are those children whose parents goe to the deuill A cursed prouerbe For what other thing can it intend but this that they who feare not God nor take care for their owne saulation will haue most respect to the outward estate of their children and be most carefull to make them great and rich in this world Wherein note how many waies they bewray their notorious folly 1. They preferre the outward estate of their children before the eternall saluation of their owne soules Yea and before God himselfe 2. They place the happinesse of their children in the goods of this world then which nothing more vaine 3. They make themselues drudges to their children and so debase themselues below that dignity which by reason of Gods image on them appertaineth to them 4. They with much paines care griefe and feare are long gathering that which their children in short time most riotously and prodigally will lauish out 5. They make themselues vassals to Satan and seeke by him to be made rich whereas indeed it is the blessing of God that maketh rich Thus they take a wrong course to get wealth If it be said that many are thus made rich I answer that as God gaue a King to Israell so he giueth wealth to them in wrath and in wrath will he take it away 6. They bring Gods curse into their house and leaue it vnto their children So as these are the riches that are reserued to the owners thereof for their euill Let not therefore care for children draw thee to any coueteous or vniust courses but know that he who made thy sonne made thee also and he who affoorded thee meanes of nourishment will also affoord thy children sufficient succour §. 8. Of Parents prouidence for their children The head whereunto all the particular duties which parents owe to their children may be referred is A prouident care for their childrens good This extendeth it selfe to all times and to all things To all times as to the infancie youth and man-age of their children and that not only while parents liue but after their departure To all things namely tending both to the temporall good of their children and also to their spirituall good Children are of the very substance of their parents therefore ought parents so farre to seeke their childrens good as their owne The patternes of holy parents recorded and commended in Scripture doe liuely set forth this prouident care But this generall we will exemplifie in the particulars and in order declare how parents must prouide both for the temporall and also for the spirituall good of their children in euery degree of their age They who at any time in any thing are negligent and carelesse of their childrens good offend in the contrary to this generall dutie The heinousnesse of which offences will appeare in the particulars §. 9. Of a mothers care ouer her childe while it is in her wombe The first age of a childe is the infancie thereof I will therefore first shew how therein parents must procure the temporall good of their children and then their spirituall good The first part of a childs infancie is while it remaineth in the mothers wombe Here therefore the
to be respected 8. Their practise who vpon state or for great witnesses or such by-respects put off the baptising of their children longer then is meet some two or three weekes some two or three moneths some longer whereby they shew too light esteeme of this Sacrament in that they preferre meere complementall circumstances before a matter of so great moment God oft sheweth his iust indignation against such in taking away their â—hildren vnbaptised before the time set downe by them for baptisme be come 9. Their practise who care not what heathenish idolatrous â—idiculous names they giue to their children What respect â—oe they shew either to God in whose name their childe is â—aptised or to the holy Sacrament it selfe or to the congregaâ—ion of Saints before whom the name is giuen or to the childe â—â— selfe who all his life is to carrie that name §. 23. Of parents prouiding things needfull for the life and health of their children Hitherto of the duties of parents respecting their childrens Infancie Such as respect their childhood follow The childhood of a childe is â—eckoned from the time that it â—eginneth to be of any discretion and vnderstanding till it be â—t to be placed forth euen so Many distinguish the whole course of a mans life into foure parts 1. Childhood 2. Youth 3. Man-age 4. Old-age long as ordinarily it liueth vnder the parents gouernment The duties which parents for this time must performe to their children may be drawne to these two heads 1. Care to bring them vp 2. Care to place them forth For their well training vp respect must be had both to their temporall and also to their spirituall good Two things are required of parents in regard of the temporall good of their children 1. To nourish them well 2. To nurture them well Children must be well Fed. Taught  Child-hood from his birth to 14. yeeres Youth from 14 to 25. Man-age from 25. to 50. Old age from thence to his death But for better distinguishing the duties which parents are to performe I follow not so accurate a diuision but rather distinguish the degrees of age according to the times wherein new duties are to be performed and therefore I make a distinction betwixt infancie and childhood Feed them in discipline saith the Apostle Vnder nourishment are comprised all needfull things for health and life which parents ought to prouide for their children as 1. Food which Christ taketh for a ruled case Whence he draweth his argument to shew that God will prouide for his children What father saith he if his sonne aske him bread would giue him a stone c. Mat. 7. 9 10 11. 2. Apparell for it is expresly noted that Israel made his son a coat Gen. 37. 3. 3. Recreation which in young children especially is needfull for their health In that Zachary chap. 8. vers 5. told the Iewes and that in way of blessing that boyes and girles should be playing in the streets he implieth that it is a lawfull and meet thing which parents should permit vnto their children But yet the time and measure and kinde of recreation must be well ordered 4. Meanes for recouery of health when they are sicke for this end was it that Ieroboam sent his wife to the Prophet in behalfe of his sonne who was sicke that the Ruler came to Christ for his sonne also who was at point of death and that many others came to him for their sonnes and daughters being ill Whatsoeuer other things are needfull parents to their power must prouide for their children else the Apostle counteth them worse then Infidels Both equitie and necessitie require thus much of parents Equitie in that children owe all their paines and seruice to their parents while they are vnder them and are wholly at their command and in that regard haue no meanes to prouide needfull things but by their parents helpe Parents therefore in all right must herein be helpfull to them Necessitie in that if the life and health of children be not well prouided for no dutie no seruice can be expected at their hands §. 24. Of parents too much niggardlinesse and carelesnesse toward their children There are two extremes contrary to the forenamed prouident care of parents for their childrens good In the defect Couetousnesse In the excesse Lauishnesse Some parents so farre faile in the defect as they almost starue their children through want of necessaries not affording them sufficient wholesome food nor meet and comely appaâ—ell but suffer them to goe tagged and ragged like beggars â—rats if they be sicke God may recouer them if he please but the parents will vse no meanes when they are well they afford them no time of refreshing themselues by any recreation but â—uer-strictly hold them in There is not only want of charity â—ut plaine vnnaturalnesse in such parents euen more then in â—â—e most cruell beasts For the wilde beasts doe with much tenâ—ernesse prouide for their young ones §. 25. Of parents too much lauishnesse and indulgency vpon their children Others surpasse as much in the excesse feeding them too â—â—intily attiring them too garishly tending them too cockeringly and letting them spend too much time in sport and play Many and great are the mischiefes that follow thereupon as 1. They who are in their childhood daintily fed and too much pampered besides that for the most part they are most sickly they will in time grow so squeamish and choice of meats as their parents shall not know what to prouide for them or when to giue it them The full soule loatheth an hony combe yea if a stranger commeth to the table where such a childe sitteth he may soone obserue that he hath beene too daintily fed If at first children be fed with ordinary moderate diet they will afterwards both be in better health and liking and also more contentedly and thankfully accept whatsoeuer shall be prouided for them But excesse breedeth diseases both in body and minde 2. Vanity in apparell doth also much corrupt young children for there is in them euen from the cradle a naturall disposition to outward brauery now for parents to pranke them vp what is it but to blow vp the fire of that vanity and make it arise into such a flame as in time may much scorch the parents themselues and vtterly consume the children and yet how vsuall a fault is this how monstrously doe many parents offend therein what foolish fashion is vsed of the greatest swaggerers and lightest strumpets which they will not bring their children vnto and that when their children are not able to discerne betwixt stuffes or colours what can this proclaime but parents pride and folly Proud maids are many times the instruments of pranking vp children especially when they are little ones more then is meet but yet the blame lieth on parents for suffering it 3. Tending children too cockishly maketh them too long children and too tender and oft
shew of religion in them no maruell that they haue no manners If some examples of such as are truly religious and want good manners should be shewed their patterne is no president much lesse can it proue that to be no duty which Gods word hath set downe for a duty Many that well performe some duties much faile in other duties Who almost followeth Gods word as he should in euery thing §. 30. Of parents suffering their children to be rudely brought vp Contrary to parents care in teaching their children good manners is dissolutenesse when parents suffer their children to grow vp in rudenesse not caring how they carry themselues at home or abroad toward their parents or toward others Rude bringing vp maketh children to be of a crooked peruerse stubborne churlish furly doggish disposition as on the other side good nurture in this kinde breedeth in genuity amiablenesse curtesie and kindnesse If such as are rudely brought vp be children of professors of the true religion they bring a staine vpon their profession yea they dishonour God as if he were the author of vnmannerlinesse and confusion against which the Holy Ghost protesteth and they make themselues and their children a scorne in the eie and mouth of profane persons who will be ready to point and say Behold the children of professors how rudely they are brought vp and ill taught they haue not so much as good manners in them For auoiding this blemish Schoole-masters and all such as haue the charge of trayning vp young children must bean helpe to parents in teaching children good manners §. 31. Of parents training vp their children to some good calling The second branch of good nurture is a training vp of children vnto a good calling This charge traine vp a child in the way that he should goâ— directly condeth to this purpose This duty hath from the beginning of the world beene performed by parents and their performance thereof commended by the holy Ghost Adam brought vp his sonnes to seuerall callings one was a keeper of sheepe another a tiller of ground The like is noted of Iaakobs sonnes Labans and Reguels daughters Ishas sonne and many others Much good may from hence arise to parents themselues to their children and to the people and places where such children shall liue 1. A good calling is an especiall meanes for children to maintaine themselues and family to releeue those that stand in need to ease their parents and if the need of parents require it to releeue and maintaine them 2. It is that way wherein Gods Angels haue a charge to keepe them while they walke in it 3. It is a meanes wherein and whereby they may be seruiceable to the common wealth where they liue 4. It is the best place wherein the generall duties of Christianity may be most manifested and best performed 5. It is the best ordinary meanes that can be prescribed to keepe a childe from the vanities of youth from immoderate pursuit of pleasures from vnlawfull games from idlenesse from ill company and such like euils which as they are sinnes in themselues so occasions and prouocations to other most â—grieuous and enormous sinnes and proue to be the very â—bane of youth Obiect Many parents haue good lands to leaue to their children what need is there of a calling to such Answ 1. Much land may soone be consumed by such as haue not skill well to vse it 2. Maintenance is but one end of a calling and that not the chiefest and most principall 3. More good may be done by skill in a calling then by great store of land 4. We are borne for others as well as for our selues it is not therefore sufficient to say I haue enough to maintaine my selfe §. 32. Of parents care in choosing a fit calling for their children The point in generall being declared to be a dutie I will adde some directions for the better performing of it 1. Children are to be trained vp in those things which are the ground worke of all callings as reading writing and principles of learning Whatsoeuer the particular calling be these will be of great vse to any one Many that haue not beene taught them at first would giue much for them afterwards Parents at the first might teach their children those things with much ease and small charge which afterwards cannot be so well learned partly for want of leasure and partly because the parts of those who are growne in yeares are not so fresh and fit to learne as in child-hood they were Those things are not to be contemned as small without which great things cannot stand 2. The calling whereunto children are trained vp must be lawfull approued by Gods word and not against the generall rules thereof so may they keepe a good conscience in the exercise thereof 3. The calling must be fit for the childe that is trained vp to it As there are diuers callings so there are diuers abilities of sundry children some are fittest for callings of wit and learning others for callings that require an able and strong body Wherein the wise disposing prouidence of God is much commended for thus are men much more vsefull one to another Now for choise of a fit calling a childs best ability wherein especially it consisteth whether in the exercise of minde or of body is duly to be obserued and also his inclination to what calling he is most disposed 4. Among fit callings for there may be many that which is best and the most excellent is to be preferred To this purpose not vnfitly may I apply that of the Apostle ccuet earnestly the best gifts On this ground let parents be exhorted to traine vp such children as they finde fit to the great and weighty calling of the ministery no calling wherein any may doe more good and wherein if they be able and faithfull Ministers they can receiue more comfort and contentment This exhortation is the more to be regarded because in comparison of those who are trained vp to other callings so few are trained vp to this § 33. Of parents faults contrary to their dutie of training their children vp to a calling On the contrary many parents much offend in not training vp their children to a calling as they should And the offence in this kinde is committed many waies As 1. When parents suffer their children to liue like little masters at home and passe ouer all their youth in idlenesse Thus they proue very drones and caterpillars in the common wealth if they haue a patrimony they soone waste it if they haue none they oft proue either theeues or beggars they are fit for all companies the readiest prey for the deuill that can be for they are like the house empty swept and garnished which when the euill spirit espieth he presently entereth into it with seuen other spirits worse then himselfe The wise law-maker among the heathen is
said to order that the childe which by his parents had beene taught no Art should not be forced to nourish them though they were old or poore This I all eage not to iustifie the law for it is against the Christian rule of ouercomming euill with goodnesse but to shew how the very heathen iudged the neglect of this dutie a great fault in parents 2. When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the generall and common grounds of all callings some vpon niggardlinesse others vpon carelesnesse Thus poore men make their children vnfit for many meanes whereby they might well maintaine themselues and rich men make theirs vnfit for magistracy and for good society Yea poore and rich are thus nousled vp the more in ignorance and made the more vnfit to profit by the preaching of the word and other meanes of spirituall edification 3. When parents bring vp their children in vnwarrantable and vnlawfull callings as to be of popish and idolatrous orders to attend vpon papists to be stage-plaiers keepers of dice-houses c. Some which is horrible to thinke of traine vp their daughters to be common strumpets and some which is yet more horrible traine vp their children to be sorcerers and witches How can they in these keepe a good conscience when the very workes of their calling are sinne Is not this to thrust them headlong into hell They who thus binde their children to the deuils sacrileges are spirituall murtherers of them 4. When parents haue no respect at all to the fitnesse of the calling as when they traine vp children of able bodies but dull and slow capacity of a stuttering tongue and other like imperfections to learning wherein they proue very dunces and lose all their time or are not able to make vse of the learning which they haue or when they traine vp children which haue a great inclination to learning and are very fit thereunto in some other trade which after many yeeres speut therein they are forced to leaue 5. When parents only seeke after the most gainfull trade and neuer thinke to educate their children most to the honour of God How can such expect Gods blessing vpon the meanes vsed for their childrens good Hence is it that among Papists so many are trained vp to Ecclesiasticall orders and functions and so few among Protestants For there is very great maintenance and reuenues for such among Papists but little in comparison among Protestants §. 34. Of parents teaching their children piety The spirituall good of children and that in their childhood is to be procured by parents as well as their temporall Wherefore Parents must traine vp their children in true piety This is expresly commanded in my text vnder this phrase admonition of the Lord. Vnder the law God did both simply command it and that very often and also ordained diuers outward rites and caused many visible and extraordinary monuments to be set vp that thereby children might be occasioned to aske of their parents the mysterie of them and that parents from that inquirie of their children might take occasion to teach them the ordinances of the Lord. This expresse charge of the Lord is further commended by that practise which holy parents from time to time haue yeelded thereunto instance the examples of Abraham Dauid Bathsheba Lois and Eunice with many others 1. Pietie is the best thing that a parent can teach his childe for as reason maketh a man differ from a beast and as learning and ciuilitie maketh a wise and sober man differ from sauages and swaggerers so pietie maketh a sound Christian much more to differ from the most ciuill and well ordered naturall man that can be Learning ciuilitie calling portion are all nothing without pietie Now it is an especiall point of wisdome to seeke the best good that we can as for our selues so also for our children yea this is an euident signe of a parents true loue of his childe 2. There is a necessitie that children be taught pietie because they are not borne but made Christians by nature they are vtterly destitute of all pietie for by nature euery imagination of the thoughts of mans heart is only euill continually Gen. 6. 5. and in that respect man is borne like the wilde asse colt Iob 11. 12. so as a man were better be vnborne then not taught pietie 3. The charge and office of parents bindeth them to teach their children pietie for they are by God made watchmen ouer their children if therefore their children liue and die in impietie through their parents negligence their bloud shall be required at their parents hands instance the example of Elie. Obiect This dutie appertaineth to Ministers Answ 1. God hath giuen an expresse charge hereof to parents as we heard before 2. In the familie a parent is all in all ouer his childe a King a Priest and a Prophet Therefore that which a Minister is to doe for matter of instruction in the Church a parent must do at home 3 Children haue need of daily instruction the parents paines in this kinde must be added to the Ministers and both are little enough 4. Parents hauing more familiaritie with their children then Ministers must needs better know their capacitie and their disposition and so may better know after what manner to instruct them whether to giue them milke or strong meat whether to deale mildly or roughly with them 5. Instructions from parents are commonly more kindly accepted then from others and children will the better rellish them when they come from their parents They say that a plant will best grow in the soile out of which it first sprung so instructions comming from those who both brought vs forth and first brought vs vp are like to doe most good 6. There is no such meanes to breed loue in a childs heart as to be an instrument of bringing piety thereinto Now who should more seeke the true loue of a childe then a parent In this respect a parent is more bound to this dutie then a Minister 7. It is impossible that a Minister who it may be hath many hundred children vnder his charge should well instruct them all It is therefore requisite that each parent looke to his owne children As these distinct answers satisfie the obiection so they serue as so many more reasons to inforce the dutie wherefore to proceed in adding other reasons 4. Great equitie there is that parents teach their children piety because they conceiued and brought them forth in iniquitie If they suffer them to lie and die in that corrupt estate they are more cruell then the Ostrich and Dragon 5. Children are most properly Gods borne to God he is the most proper parent of them in comparison of God fathers and mothers of the flesh are but nurses They must therefore nurture them in the admonition of the Lord. 6. Pietie is that
of solemniâ—ing that day And as God doth any great workes of mercy â—r of iudgement point them out to children When there is great famine plague or any mortality instruct children in â—he causes thereof when victory plenty peace or the like â—ach children from whence these come Outward sensible things doe best worke vpon children 7. Let religious schoole masters be chosen for children soâ—â—ewise other masters to whom children are put forth and religious houses where they are placed Hannah commended â—er first borne childe to old Eli a good religious high Priest ◠〈◊〉 â— masters themselues be religious there is good hope that they will instruct in piety such as are vnder them which if they â—oe what an helpe will that be to parents If both parents and masters ioyne therein it must needs be very profitable to â—e children If parents should faile yet might masters make a â—ood supply 8. Let parents be to their children a good patterne and example in pietie I and my house saith Iosua will serue the Lord he setteth himselfe first as a guide to the rest I will walke in mine house with a perfect heart saith Dauid whereby he would make himselfe an example as to others of his family so to his children Example is a reall instruction and addeth a sharpe edge to admonition Much more shall a religious parent doe by practise then by precept For children are much inclined to follow their parents let them goe before children will soone follow after Practise is an euident proofe of the necessitie of the precept deliuered §. 36. Of Parents faults contrary to their dutie of teaching their children piety Many are the aberrations contrary to the forenamed care of teaching pietie For 1. Most parents care only for the temporall and ciuill good of their children so their children may be well fed and clothed and brought vp in some profitable calling whereby they may well maintaine themselues in this world little thought is had or care taken for their spirituall life in this world or eternall life in the world to come Wherein are these parents better then heathen Iob was otherwise minded he was more carefull for their soules then for their bodies 2. Many are so farre from teaching piety as they teach their children profanenesse pride riot lying deceit and such like principles of the deuill It had beene better for such children to haue liued among wilde beasts then vnder such parents As the children hereby are thrust headlong to hell so their blood shall be required of their parents 3. Others thinke it enough that their children be taught a religion but what religion it skilleth not Such are they as hauing rich kindred but popish commend their children to the education of such kindred in hope of some temporall benefit that their children may reape from them If they were as carelesse of their childrens bodies they would be accounted little better then murtherers and is not the soule more pretious then the body 4. So farre are many from catechising their children and that daily as they teach them not so much as the Lords praier the Beleefe and the ten Commandements Wherein Papists shall rise vp in iudgement against them that are very diligent in teaching their children Pater noster Aue Maria and such like Latine principles as the children cannot possibly vnderstand 5. Few vse the forenamed outward helpes as the holy rites appointed of God the great and glorious workes of God his extraordinary workes of mercy or iudgement to instruct their children thereby As they themselues care not to take notice of any such thing so they care not whether their children doe it or no. 6. So much doe some preferre a little pelfe before the true good of their children as they care not to what schoolemaster they put their children be he profane or popish or vnlearned especially if he be a kinsman or one of their friends Few will so doe in case of their health or outward estate but will rather get the best Physitian or the best Lawyer that they can Children oft learne such euill qualities of their schoolemasters as they can neuer shake off againe 7. Many proue very bad patternes to their children and giue very ill example by profanensse riotousnesse swearing drinking playing at vnlawfull games c. These parents as they brought forth their children in sinne so they lead them on forward to hell Their euill example is not only an hinderance to the good instruction of others but also maketh all their owne counsells if at any time they doe giue any good counsell to be in vaine for the left hand of euill example soone pulleth downe more then the right hand of instruction can build againe To conclude those parents whose children are not brought vp in the instruction of the Lord shew plainly that they regard neither the saluation or damnation of their soules §. 37. Of instructing children so soone as they are capable Hitherto of the Kindes of nurture The Time thereof followeth In handling the time of good nurture I wil shew 1. When it ought to be begun 2. How long it ought to be continued  1. Parents ought to begin to nurture their children so soone as they are capable of any instruction Euen as young birds are taught by their dammes to flie so soone as their wings can carry them Traine vp a childe saith Solomon that is while he is young and tender and againe He that loueth his childe nurtureth him be times Thus was Samuel sent when he was very young to be trained vp vnder Eli 1 Sam. 1. 24. and Solomon was instructed by his father when he was tender Pro. 4. 3. and Timothy was taught the Scriptures from a young childe or infant There are both priuatiue and positiue reasons to presse this point Priuatiue in regard of the mischiefes that may be preuented thereby Positiue in regard of the good that may be gained thereby 1. Many are the euils which children by nature are prone vnto euen as ranke ground is subiect to bring forth many weeds for the imagination of mans heart is euill from his youth and foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a childe If therefore they be not well nurtured betimes what can be looked for but the fruits of euill and folly But timely nurture will preuent such fruits and be an excellent preseruatiue against their owne naturall corruption against Satans temptations and against the allurements or discouragements of the world 2. Continuance in euill maketh children obstinate and inflexible therein Elies sonnes being suffered to goe on in wickednesse till they came to ripenesse of yeeres would not afterwards harken to the voice of their Father What creature can be tamed if it be not begun with while it is young 3. When children first begin to be capable of instruction they are most pliable to follow the direction of their parents as
then a hundred stripes into a foole and because it may be vsed when it is not so meet to vse strokes and blowes as when children are growne to man-age The many good fruits which the holy Ghost noteth to proceed from due reproofe doe shew that it is a dutie whereof parents ought to make conscience as they desire to promote the good of their children and so much the rather because many good fruits redound to the parents that reproue as well as to the children reproued In regard of their good who are reproued it is said Reproofes for instruction are the way of life they cause vnderstanding and make prudent In regard of their good who reproue it is said To them that rebuke shall be delight that is much comfort and matter of reioycing so as they shall not need to repent what they haue done and a blessing of good shall come vpon them that is either a blessing of good men who will blesse praise and commend them or a blessing of good things and that from the Lord who will reward them for this conscionable performance of their dutie Vpon these grounds holy men haue not spared to rebuke their children as there was occasion Though Eli did somewhat in this duty yet because he was not more seuere therein â—he brought destruction both vpon himselfe and his children The direction noted § 40. and 47. and Treat 4. § 35. may be here applied §. 45. Of parents cockering their children Contrary is their too much doting on children who are â—oth to giue them a foule word Dauid though otherwise a â—very wise man herein manifested much folly for he displeased â—ot Adoniah at any time in saying why hast thou done so and like enough it is that also he so cockered his other rebellious sonne Absolom Note the fearefull issue that followed thereupon both to father and children Though their father would not displease them yet they cared not to displease their father yea to grieue his heart and vex his soule The like may all foolish doting parents looke for at their childrens hands For first parents by neglect of this dutie highly displease God therefore in iust reuenge will God giue their children ouer to displease and vex them Secondly neglect of reproofe is a meanes to make children rude presumptuous rebellious and so carelesse to please their parents Yea all things where in children offend through want of education shall be required at their parents hands §. 46. Of correcting children The latter and more proper kinde of correction which is by stripes and blowes is also a meanes appointed by God to helpe the good nurture and education of children It is the last remedy which a parent can vse a remedy which may doe good when nothing else can It is by the holy Ghost both expresly commanded and also very oft pressed vnder these and such like phrases Châ—sten thy sonne correct thy sonne with-hold not correction from the childe thou shalt smite him with the rod. Were there no other motiue this were sufficient Gods charge was such a motiue to Abraham as at it he would haue sacrificed his sonne and wilt not thou at Gods command correct thy childe It is further commended by Gods owne example which is not only set forth in some particular instances but by his generall constant dealing with all and that as an especiall token and fruit of his loue For whom the Lord loueth he chasteneth and scourgeth euery sonne whom he receiueth If ye be without chastisement wherof all are partakers then are ye bastards and not sonnes Let this example of God be well weighed for it is of great weight Who can better tell what kinde of dealing is fittest for children then God Who can better nurture children then God Who doth more truly aime at and procure the good of children then God Yea who doth more tender children then God If God the father of spirits in wisdome and loue thus deale with his children fathers of the flesh may not thinke by the contrary to shew wisdome or loue Their wisdome will be folly their loue hatred Vpon these grounds it is taken for a thing granted that parents who tender the good of their children as they should doe chastise their children as need requireth for it is said that the Lord correcteth whom he loueth as a father the sonne in whom he delighteth If parents vsed it not this were no good inference to say as a father againe as a thing without controuersie it is said we haue had fathers of our flesh which corrected vs. The grounds of the equitie of this dutie respect partly the children corrected and partly the parents that correct In regard of children it freeth them from much euill and worketh in them much good Correction is as physicke to purge out much corruption which lurketh in children and as a salue to heale many wounds and sores made by their folly In which respect Solomon saith that Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a childe but the rod of correction shall driue it farre from him and againe The blewnesse of a wound is a purging medicine against euill so doe stripes the inward parts of the belly In regard of the inward operation of this physicke correction is further said to preserue a childe from death if thou beatest him he shall not die and that not only from temporall death as many children are thus preserued from the Magistrates sword but also from eternall death thou shalt deliuer his soule from hell Note this ye cockering parents whose ouer-much lenitie is very great crueltie For may we not iustly count him a cruell parent that should suffer diseases boiles sores and wounds to remaine increase and fester in his childe and giue him no physicke nor apply any plaisters or medicines to him Nay rather who seeth his sonne running into a flaming fire or deepe water and would not hold him backe Euen so cruell and more cruell are they who suffer their children to runne on in euill rather then correct them Obiect Who can endure to make his owne childe smart and to put him to paine Answ The future fruit is more to be considered then the present paine Potions pills and corasiues are fulsome bitter and painfull but because there is a necessitie of vsing them and great mischiefe is preuented by the vse of them wise parents will not forbeare them for the sensible bitternesse and paine Fitly doth the Apostle thus answer that obiection No chastning for the present seemeth to be ioyous but grieuous neuerthelesse afterward it yeeldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse This may be applied to parents corrections as well as to Gods The good which correction bringeth to children is by Solomon noted in this and such like phrases The rod giueth wisdome for it maketh children obserue what is good and what euill what commendable and what
for their children 1. That the match which they prouide be meet so said God when he was about to prouide a match for Adam I will make him an helpe meet for him Therefore the match prouided must not be too neere of kin of a contrary religion of too vnequall an age of too great disparity in estate These things will hinder loue and cause disdaine and hatred of one another 2. Though the match may seeme meet in the parents eie yet he may not force his childe thereto Could a fitter match haue beene found out for Rebekah then Isaak yet Rebekahs friends asked her consent I denie not but parents may vse all manner of faire meanes to moue their children to yeeld to that which they see good for them but if they cannot moue them to yeeld to referre the matter to God and not against their childrens minds to force them When God had made a most meet match for Adam he brought her to the man namely to see how he would like her For the neerest bond of all is betwixt man and wife a man must leaue father and mother and cleaue vnto his wife man and wife must alwaies liue together great reason therefore that at the first ioyning them together there be a mutuall liking of one another lest euer after there be a perpetuall dislike and though the authority of parents ought in this case to be inuiolable yet a middle course is so to be held as the parties may willingly with a mutuall consent ioyne themselues together §. 55. Of the extremes contrary to parents care in prouiding fit mariages for their children The extreme in the defect is when parents carelesly let their children passe the floure of their age and neuer consider whether need require that they should mary or no. Their children may sit long enough before they seeke out a match for them vnlesse it be brought to them and when one is offered though it be neuer so fit yet except they may make an aduantage thereof to themselues they will hardly yeeld to it Thus they make their children to seeke out mariages for themselues and without their consent to make them vp or else to liue in discontent if not in vncleannesse By the carelesnesse of parents in this respect are children oft made a prey to the deuill whereof at the day of iudgement parents shall giue an account to God The extreme in the excesse is when parents through a couetous desire to get great and rich matches for their children marie them before they be of yeares of discretion to like or dislike to know what is meet or vnmeet or able to performe euen the essentiall duties of mariages seldome doe such vnlawfull mariages prosper In a like excesse doe they offend who for outward aduantages match their children to such as by nature are vnfit for mariage to ideots to idolaters to profane persons or they care not to whom And if their children like not these matches they will doe to the vttermost of their power what they can to force them thereunto Many mischiefes ordinarily fall out vpon such mariages as vtter dislike betwixt husband and wife continuall complaining one of another inquiring after diuorce or any other separation wishing yea practising one anothers death To all these mischiefes doe parents the cause thereof make themselues accessary §. 56. Of parents prouiding a stocke for callings and mariages of their children An especiall outward meanes whereby parents may be the better inabled to prouide fit callings and mariages for their children is before hand to lay vp some stocke or competent portion for their children This is comprised vnder that generall prouision whereof he that is carelesse is counted by the Apostle worse then an insidell but more expresly is it noted in these words Parents ought to lay vp for their children and commended in Abrahams example While children are vnder their parents they haue no meanes to lay vp for themselues for all their seruice is for their parents But in regard of the times wherein we liue it is needfull for setting vp in a good calling and for obtaining a fit match that children haue some stocke and portion It lieth therefore vpon the parents and their duty it is to prouide it Obiect Christ forbiddeth to lay vp treasures on earth Answ If the scope of that place be rightly marked it will appeare that Christ there forbiddeth not simply the thing it selfe but 1. The minde of him that layeth vp namely when it is filled full of carking and distrustfull thoughts fearing that in the time to come he shall not haue sufficient To this purpose doth Christ propound Gods prouidence ouer fowles and lillies 2. The manner of laying vp when temporall things are preferred before spirituall and heauenly therefore he addeth this precept but lay vp treasures in heauen c. 3. The measure when men neuer thinke they haue laid vp enough but scrape what they can come by iustly or vniustly and spare more then needs euen things necessary from themselues and others to make a great stocke and portion for their children The word of treasuring vp which Christ there vseth implieth an immoderate measure Among other needfull cautions for parents to be obserued in laying vp for their children these three are especially to be noted 1. That iustly they come by that which they lay vp and lay nothing towards a childs portion which is any way vniustly gotten for the treasures of wickednesse profit nothing they may proue a fire to consume parents themselues their children their house and whole posterity 2. That they couet not too much to make their children rich and for that purpose liue meanly and basely themselues yea and depriue themselues of many necessaries An egregious point of folly is this which Solomon hath much taxed 3. That all needfull duties of charity to the poore and of iustice to the Church and common-wealth be performed and pretext of laying vp for children hinder none of these §. 57. Of the extremes contrary to a parents prouiding portions for his children The extremes contrary to the forenamed dutie are these 1. When parents liue at the vttermost extent of their estate and from time to time spend all their reuenues or all their gaines and so are scarce able to make euen at quarter day or yeares end What stocke or portion can they lay vp for children 2. When parents liue aboue their estate and spend riotously their ordinary gaines or reuenues and for other necessary affaires are forced to runne into debt Many are so farre from helping their children in this kinde as they are maine hinderance vnto them vrging their eldest sonne especially who is their heire to be bound for them and so lay such a burden on his backe as to vse the common phrase they make it cracke againe 3. When parents haue enough for themselues and their children and yet so
What is the end of this but to be thought as good as master or mistresse If the Queene of Sheba were now liuing she would as much wonder at the disorder of seruants in these dayes as then she wondred at the comely order of Solomons seruants Let these proud seruants looke to it for if God haue threatned to visit Princes children that walke in strange apparell can seruants that so walke thinke to goe scot-free Thus much of seruants reuerence Their obedience followeth §. 10. Of seruants obedience No inferiours are more bound to obedience then seruants it is their maine and most peculiar function to obey their masters It is therefore here in my text expresly mentioned Seruants obey your masters and all other duties are comprised vnder it The reasons alleadged to moue wiues and children to obey ought much more to moue seruants They who are contrary minded who are rebellious and disdaine to be vnder the authority of another and are ready to say of their Master We will not haue this man to reigne ouer vs are fitter to liue among Anabaptists then orthodoxall Christians For to what end is the lawfulnesse of authoritie acknowledged if subiection be not yeelded vnto it of the two a man were better be blinded with error then not obey the truth which he knoweth In handling this point of obedience I will follow the same order which I did in laying forth the obedience of wiues and children and consider 1. The parts of seruants obedience wherein it consisteth 2. The extent thereof how farre it reacheth The parts are two One negatiue Another affirmatiue The negatiue is to abstaine from doing things of their owne head without or against their masters consent The affirmatiue is readily to yeeld to doe that which their masters would they should doe §. 11. Of seruants forbearing to doe things without their masters consent Seruants ought to forbeare doing of things on their owne heads without or against consent of their masters because while the time of their seruice lasteth they are not their owne neither ought the things which they doe to be for themselues both their persons and their actions are all their masters and the will of their master must be their rule and guide in things which are not against Gods will The rite vsed vnder the Law of boaring a seruants eare implied as much Dauid therefore alluding vnto that rite saith to God both of himselfe and also of Christ whom vnder a type he prefigured mine eares hast thou boared and from thence inferreth that he would do the will of God We haue a notable patterne hereof in Abrahams seruant who in a businesse committed to his charge propounds such scruples as came into his head to receiue direction from his master therein lest he should be forced to doe something of his owne head without particular warrant from his master This generall will the better be cleared if it be exemplified in some particulars Take therefore these instances gathered out of the Scriptures of things which seruants may not doe without their masters consent 1. Seruants may not goe whither they will The phrase which the Centurion vseth I say to one goe and he goeth implieth that except his master bid him goe he ought not to goe 2. They ought not to doe their owne businesse and affaires It is noted of Iaakob being Labans seruant that though he had flockes of his owne yet he fed his masters flockes and committed his owne to his sonnes 3. They ought not to doe what businesse they list themselues Ahimaaz had a great desire to carrie the newes of Absoloms death to Dauid yet without the leaue of Ioab his Captaine and master he would not doe it The good mistresse giueth the portion to her maides namely the portion of worke that therefore must they doe which she giueth them to doe The seruants of the Centurion did euery one as by their master they were inioyned and the seruants that had talents committed to them looked each of them to their owne talent 4. They ought not to mary while the time of their couenant for seruice lasteth vnlesse their master giue consent thereto The law of God thus setteth forth the lawfull mariages of seruants If his master haue giuen him a wife whereby is implied that if a seruant mary it must be with his masters consent Obiect The Apostle without exception of seruants saith to auoid fornication let euery man haue his wife c. Answ He there sheweth what meanes the Lord hath sanctified to euery one to auoid fornication but he doth not thereby giue libertie to euery one headily to vse that meanes against that order which God hath set downe 2. That precept is giuen to such as are in their owne power for of children he saith that parents must see what is meet or not meet for them 3. That which seruants are to gather from thence is if need so require to make knowne their desire to their master and to vse all the good meanes they can by themselues or others to obtaine their masters consent 5. They ought not to dispose their masters goods at their owne pleasure no not for charitable vses The Steward which wasted his masters goods was iustly put out of office for it Yea he is called vniust for disposing some of them for his owne future maintenance therefore it was a point of iustice and vnlawfull Obiect The Lord commended him therein Answ He commended his wisdome not his iniustice his prouident care for the time to come not the meanes of prouiding for himselfe In regard of his generall prouidence he is commended in regard of the particular meanes by deceiuing his master he is called vniust 6. They may not before their couenanted time be expired goe away from their master When Iaakob after long seruice had a minde to be gone he asked leaue and because his vncle and master would not willingly let him goe he tarried still Obiect Afterwards Iaakob priuily stole away from his master Answ 1. His couenanted time was out 2. He had an expresse warrant from God to be gone 3. His manner of going away is not to be iustified and in that respect it is no good patterne §. 12. Of the vnlawfull libertie which seruants take to themselues Contrary to the forenamed limitations of seruants libertie are these and such like lewd and licentious pranks as follow 1. When seruants watch their times to goe whither they list and their master not know it as when their masters are seriously imployed or abroad or in bed Thus that lewd seruant Gehazi watched his time to run after Naaman thinking that his master should not know it 2. When being bound to their masters seruice they doe their owne businesse and seeke their owne profit and that without their masters leaue This aggrauated Gehazi his priuie stealing and withdrawing himselfe from his master
that he went to receiue gifts for himselfe Many such lewd seruants there be that knowing such and such friends of their master who will be ready to doe any kindnesse for them will vse their masters name to borow money or get some other fauour and neuer let their-masters know of it 3. When seruants will chuse their owne worke and doe that which liketh themselues best or else doe nothing at all Thus where many seruants be in one house together if they be not in such places as they like themselues they will mumble and grumble and doe nothing well 4. When seruants especially maid-seruants that are bound doe purposely mary to free themselues because our lawes doe free a maide that is maried from her seruice to master and mistresse 5. When they are liberall of their masters goods in giuing them away Some thinke that because they are of the house they may dispose the things of the house vpon charitable vses But pretence of charitie is no excuse for iniustice Seruants may giue notice to their masters or mistresses that there are in the house such and such things meet to be giuen away or that there are such and such poore folkes that stand in great need but priuily without any consent at all they may not giue away any thing of their masters 6. When vpon discontent they run away from their masters The two seruants of Shemei which run from their master are taxed for it by the holy Ghost One simus that run from his master is sent backe againe by S. Paul and Hagar is sent backe by an Angell Obiect What if master and mistresse be sharpe rigorous and cruell Answ An Angell from heauen giueth one answer Submit thy selfe vnder her hands And an Apostle giueth another Be subiect with all feare to the froward for conscience toward God endure griefe suffering wrongfully These faults are thus noted that seruants taking notice of them may the more carefully auoid them §. 13. Of seruants obedience to their masters commandements The affirmatiue and actiue part of seruants obedience consisting in a ready yeelding to that which their masters will haue done hath respect as the like kinde of childrens obedience to the Commandement Instruction Reproofe and Correction of their master I. A master hauing power to command his seruants it is a dutie of seruants to obey their master therein The particular worke which appertaineth to a seruant by vertue of his place is to haue an eie to his master to see what he requireth at his hands Dauid thus describes the property of good seruants Their eies looke to the hand of their master That looking as it implieth an expectation of releefe and succour so also a readinesse to receiue and execute any thing from them that they would haue done The Centurion commendeth this duty in the example of his seruants who euery one of them did what their master commanded them to doe It is further commended in the examples of Abrams seruant Eliahs seruant and many others Note how farre the Lord Christ exacteth this dutie of seruants Though a seruant hath beene all day plowing a laborious and wearisome worke yet when he commeth home his master commanding him to dresse his supper and wait he must doe it By all these proofes it appeareth that if a master bid his seruant come goe doe this or that he must obey The contrary hereunto is the highest degree of disobedience as when seruants refuse to be at their masters command and to doe what they charge them to doe as Ziba who being commanded to saddle his masters Asse went away and did it not and Iobs seruants who being called would not answer Of all other offences this doth most prouoke masters for it is a plaine contempt of their authoritie §. 14. Of seruants hearkning to their masters instructions in matters of their calling II. As a master hath power to command so his dutie it is to instruct his seruants in the way of righteousnesse and in that ciuill course of life wherein he is to walke The dutie then of seruants it is in both to hearken and be obedient vnto them 1. Such seruants as are vnder masters to learne their trade are bound many waies to hearken to them 1. That for the time they may doe the better seruice to their masters 2. That by learning a trade or skill in any good calling they may be the better able when the time of their seruice is out to maintaine themselues to teach other seruants which shall be vnder them and to doe the more good in the place where they shall liue 3. That thus they may the better discharge a good conscience in that particular place wherein God hath set them Contrary is the idle sluggish dull disposition of many seruants who by reason of their carelesnesse and vntowardnesse in doing that which they are taught vex and grieue their masters yea and make them weary of instructing them Many prentises spend all the time of their prentiship without reaping any good at all they neuer proue their crafts masters so many in the countrey liue vnder good husbands many Clearks vnder good Lawyers many maids vnder good houswiues and that many yeares together yet through their negligence get no good at all whereas if they would haue beene attentiue and carefull they might haue learned much Enemies these are to their masters to themselues to the city and country where they liue and to their friends and parents especially if they haue any aliue §. 15. Of seruants hearkning to their masters instructions in piety Such seruants as haue religious masters who are carefull to instruct their houshold in the way of righteousnesse ought to be obedient to their instructions so were Iosuahs seruants or else could not Iosuah haue vndertaken for them as he did and the seruants of that Ruler of whom it was said that himselfe beleeued and all his house and the seruants of Lidia and of the Iayâ—er concerning whom it is said She was baptised and her houshold he beleeued in God and all his house Vnder these words house and houshold none doubteth but that seruants are comprised Now then if the seruants of these had not hearkened and yeelded to the instructions of their master and mistresse would they haue beleeued in him in whom their masters beleeued or beene baptised when their mistresse was The like may be gathered out of this phrase The Church in their house for thereby is implied that all in the house were of the same faith that their master and mistresse were It is expresly noted of the Souldier that waited continually on Cornelius that he was a deuout man whereby it is presupposed that he hearkned to his masters instructions for it is noted of the master also that he was a deuout man and feared God The benefit which redoundeth to seruants by obeying such instructions is vnspeakable much