for the bruite beasts and cattell that worke vnder vs to whom we giue rest and ease from labour vpon the Sabbath if we cause them not to Sanctifie the day of Rest in which they shall differ from all other not onely Beasts but Men. And this is the meaning of that Law which Moses gaue to the Israelites Commaunding them to write the word of God vpon the Postes of their houses and vpon their Gates Whereby all vnder gouernment were taught what should be required of them so long as they liued in those houses namely to serue God and all gouernours were taught what specially to looke after in all them that went in and out of their gates and liued vnder the roofe of their houses euen to serue the Lord in all parts of his worship for which end he hath giuen them such authoritié ouer them According to which Commandément the worthie Captaine of Gods people Iehoshua made this protestation before all the Elders of Israel a little before his death exhorting them to do the like I and mine house will serue the Lord promising not onely for himselfe but for all his which though it was too hard to do yet because he knew how many meanes the Lord had giuen him to bring it to passe which also God would blesse as all godly exhortations admonitions and chastisements whereby if they did not profit he had authoritie to thrust them out of his house and to rid himselfe of them all which he was purposed to put in practise therefore he was bold thus to speake of himselfe thereby shewing what all men should propound to themselues and may attaine vnto The like whereof Dauid speaketh of himselfe in that worthie Psalme 101. which is left as a patterne for all Christian gouernours to rule by wherein he sheweth how he would rule not onely himselfe but his household nay the whole kingdome by hauing an eye to them that were good to reward them and to them that were bad to punish them that so not onely himselfe but all his might serue the Lord. After the same manner in the time of the Captiuitie when the noble Queene Hester willed all the dispersed Iewes to keepe holy three dayes together in fasting and prayer that so they might intreate the Lord to deliuer them from that finall destruction and vtter ruine which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworne enemie of Gods people had determined to bring vpon them speedily she said That she and her maides would do the like Hest. 4. 16. Whereby no doubt she insinuated vnto them that in euery household her meaning was that it should be thorowly kept on all sides not onely of the rulers and some few but of all others euen vnto the maid seruants Now the Sabbath and the day of Fast are both of one nature as the word doth sufficiently beare witnesse Therefore if this hath bene the practise of the Church vpon that day to fast and not the chiefe alone but their families also then must we needes be perswaded that vpon the Lords day we ought our selues and our households to serue the Lord and to say with Ioshua I and mine house will serue the Lord and with Hester I and my seruants will doe the like And how could that haue bene verified of the religious captaine Cornelius which is written of him That he was a deuout man and one that feared God with all his household vnlesse he had not onely frequented the common assemblies vpon the Sabbath dayes but had also acquainted his seruants therewith Therefore as the Lord himselfe speaketh of Abraham who is the father of all beleeuers I know that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to do righteousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So it must be practised of all them that will be the children of this faithfull Abraham and enioy the same promise that he and his posterity did euen that they cause their children and their seruants to keepe holy the Sabbath wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord that so they might walke in that way which hath the promises of this life and the life to come So then it may most euidently appeare both by the words of the Commandement and by the practise of the best men in the old and new Testament that this dutie is laid vpon all householders diligentlyto ouersee the wayes of their families that they serue God as in all other duties so especially in sanctifying the Sabbath as they will answer to the contrary at their perill to him that hath put them in authoritie and as they will giue an account for their soules which otherwise might perish through their default Which though it be so strictly required of all men and vnder so great a paine laide vpon them yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that we may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it For besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therefore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or play and to do any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and do encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words there be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue indeed yet either through ignorance or negligence do not once looke to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and continue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bene already spoken concerning this matter that they do too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answer in his businesse which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe dayes when their seruants are in their owne businesse they wil not let them come and go at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they be at their worke but will be sure of it and therefore set them to it looke vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it be well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not then needs be a great vnkindnesse and vnthankfulnesse
sted-mother that is one father and one mother dyeth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therefore to the end that both their loues may be seiled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did You must not looke vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people that he would be worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to them as Dauid came to the people after Saules death who said Though your Maister Saul be dead yet I will reigne ouer you So ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children will loue you as much as they did their dead father or dead mother For that man that is led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one And likewise she will account her selfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both For if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that they haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same which is the highest degree not onely of friendship but also of all bloud and kindred But step-mothers do more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections be stronger then mens and many times ouer-rule them and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned that they shew to those motherlesse children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnesse Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in steast of their owne mother to be to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and that he requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe wold it be to her heart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne body should after her death haue a step-mother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them Doubtlesse those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therefore alwayes haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto others so it shall be measured to you againe that is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children For he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not be like a stead-mother to hers vnlesse she be like a stead-mother to these Verily a good woman will be vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what Christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mitigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken and chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweete name of Mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and mind when she shall heare her selfe named Mother by any of her husbands children Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkind then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kind fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnesse and mildnesse vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kind louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of Mother 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the duty of wiues is that they do not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with gold but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God they be sober in outward apparell garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenesse meeknesse quietnesse and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie Chap. 2. vers 10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plaiting criping broyding curling and curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in few words then he hath spoken to the vtter dislike thereof For if a man should occupie himselfe and giue liberty to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride that many women are guilty of in this behalfe he should rather want time to write then matter to deliuer Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish them but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may be teene in Esay 3. 16. c. For so it falleth out according to the common Prouerbe that pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrary part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparell as best beseemeth their calling and degree So as by their good example they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe and so rather come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any way to exceed therein to the slander of their profession And let them not so much regard what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well be without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children THis dutie consisteth in foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen frō the cradle in the feare nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shame fastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue
Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlinesse and vertue Fourthly that they keep them from idlenesse the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good art or occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and truth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is First that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become Citizens of the Church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall die in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place But alasse there be few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to be remembred that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speed to present the child to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example Luke 1. 3. Gen. 21. 3. And it were a thing to be wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them with children would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holy Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and Christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holy Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to 〈◊〉 and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them And yet we haue to remember that those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of the 〈◊〉 Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly and Christian names vnlesse that they do imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloud shedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors 〈◊〉 descend of noble parentage maketh men noble and renowned indeed vnlesse they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodly children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life we do heare or do speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisine secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeateth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen them and would thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of his couenant so likewise after the same manner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember and beare in minde that we are by grace adopted to be the sonnes of God and receiued into his fauour and therefore that we are Gods owne and as it were his goods and riches who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they may assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercy would vouthsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke and consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their own industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himself hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought forth into the light and indued with body and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God hîs first patterne 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt with all in order Vnto the body they owe nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometimes correction that they may keepe children in awe Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God by the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parēts ought to be most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes. 1. 4. Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his Religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their mothers milke and straight-wayes after their cradle may be nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children do the parents liue in a manner after their death And if they be well instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the Common-wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer apt haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoot them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shaftes the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children their parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesie Yea and further as arrowes are at the commandement
the bodie is commonly well affected euen so where the head or chiefe of any familie or houshold is religious and sound in the faith and feareth God it commonly goeth well with all the houshold What shall it auaile for parents to teach their children honestie and modestie when they themselues in their workes and behauiours do inuite them to wantonnesse and lewdnesse Verball instruction without example of good deedes is a dead doctrine and contrariwise good examples are the life of instruction to make it profitable and effectuall If the example of parents be contrarie to their instructions if they teach their children sobrietie modestie and chastitie and yet themselues will follow drunkennesse fowle lasciuious speeches gestures and actions it is as if with their tongues they should say be vertuous and by the hands leade them with them to all vice and corruption So that wicked parents are wicked counsellors to their children If we would take him to be a monster in nature and vnworthie to liue in a Common-wealth that should counsell his child to drunkennesse and fornication what shall we thinke of those who committing such iniquitie do by their example much more mightily put forwards their children to such abhomination then by word they are able What account can those parents giue vnto God who by their euill example haue drawne into hell their children whom he deliuered to their charge to be giuen into heauen Albeit such parents pittie not themselues yet at least let them take pitie of their children and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction Such parents then deserue grieuously to be reprooued as shall vse any leude speeches or shamelesse behauiour in briefe any worldly or carnall actions in the presence of their children to whom their examples may be as a dispensation to giue themselues to the like As also how can they forbid that in their children which they themselues do commit How can they correct them for the faults which they themselues vse Albeit children in respect and reuerence to their parents dare not reply and say themselues do those things for the which they reproue them yet will the neighbours or others obiect it to their shame Besides their authority shall be so much the lesse in that they declare in their workes and actions that they allow that which they forbid in words If parents therefore desire that their instruction may be effected and yeeld fruite let them declare the same in holy life and vertuous conuersation let them so order and gouerne themselues that their children seeing the same as it were in a glasse may be restrained from dishonest speech and wicked deeds let them do as guides that shew the right way ouer foords and riuers by going before those whom they leade that their children following the steps and examples of their parents may conforme themselues to their vertues and so with them and by them be led to saluation and life cuerlasting For this cause Moses gaue commandement vnto the Iewes that the Law might be kept in their families that they might prosper in all that they went about When Obed-Edom had receiued the Arke of God into his house which signified true religion the Lord blessed him and all his houshold Whē the widdow of Zarephtah in the dayes of Eliah and the other widdow of Israel in the dayes of Elisha had receiued the Prophets of God into their houses who is ignorant how mightily and mercifully the Lord prouided for them When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health the Ruler beleeued and all his family After Zachaus had receiued Christ into his house and was conuerted saluation came to the same houshold To be short when Cornelius the Centurion embraced the Gospell his familie also beleeued were baptized and the holy Ghost fell vpon them all which heard the preaching And how well that house was ordered where Timothie was brought vp his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witnesse And this is also a point worthy to be remembred that the Lord by his Prophet Ezechiel calleth the children of the Israelites which they had begotten his children because they were partakers of the Promises and signed with the seale of the Couenant and the Prophet calleth them The inheritance of the Lord. Such parents therefore as be Christians must know that their children are also the children of God and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour and therefore they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe whose children they are if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare and much more if they as before time many haue done bequeath them in a manner consecrate sacrifice them to the seruice of men by thrusting thē into Abbeyes Munkeries Fryeries Nunneries and Seminaries there to be brought vp and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance in 〈◊〉 and idolatrie The second point is that fathers and mothers do nourish and traine vp their children in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue They be charged by the fift Commandement to feede to nourish and to bring vp their children to teach them the principles and seede of Christian religion to see they learne the Catechisme to teach them to praise God before and after meales as also to teach them by little and little and by often repetitions to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted to teach them manners how to behaue themselues decently in their going in their speaking and gesture of their bodies how to order themselues reuerently in the Church how abroad in all places and towards all men in all honest companies and so to begin some conscience in them For it were better for children to be vnborne then vntaught Now contrary to this is when parents suffer their children to haue their will from the beginning when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie by being too hasty with them when they let the cōmon ignorance of the word to be rooted in them and haue no care to frame them to learne truth and godlinesse and so to prepare them to be apt to receiue profit from the publicke ministerie It is therefore meete for all fathers and mothers if they will haue ioy of their children that then they correct them when they do amisse keepe them in shamefastnesse hatred of vice loue of all vertue according as the Wiseman in sundry places For as the common Prouerbe is birch breaketh no bones neither doth moderate correction bring danger of death but oftentimes it bridleth keepeth backe the child that otherwise would run headlong into hell and so is a meane to saue his soule For the fountaine of all vertue and chiefe of all mans felicitie is good instruction and right bringing it And contrariwise children euill brought vp bring shame and great heart-break to their parents As old
see two speciall causes why some parents do more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and specially those that haue but few children These do like as if some husband-man should refuse to till his field because he hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verily that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many Euen so after the same sort we may iudge it to be the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But we see what doth let mothers that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruell loue so to loue their children that they should be as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a few shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of mind and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse of their children vnto which they do now all too late go about to prouide a remedie On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will 〈◊〉 the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children they thinke all ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse be well framed to vauting leaping then that their child be well instructed to vertue This inconuenience cometh to the minds of children if they be not well brought vp that they become seruile and lie open to all sin and naughtinesse For if a man leaue his field vntilled he shall find it to haue brought forth fearne and thystles and such vnprofitable weeds after the same sort if he shall leaue the wits of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised he shall be sure to reape most abundant fruite of wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse The holy Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17. 21. he meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgement of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a child as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdome of God or else hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For in this case as it would grieue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the parts of their bodie euen so much more should it grieue them to haue such children as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome cannot walke in the feare of God or abusing the knowledge giuen them prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse It is maruellous how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe the want of all spiriruall graces springing from corrupt education In like manner it is strange that men can take the matter so heauily when their children breake into such offences as either haue open shame or ciuill punishments following them and yet can make no bones but passe ouer such sinnes as are against the maiestie of God accompanied with euerlasting confusion vnspeakable torments Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray but their great hypocrisie in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is sound to their children and that they loue themselues more in their children then either their saluation or the glorie of God the tender loue and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne as for that vntimely end of his sonne to whom the time of repentance for his saluation and the glorie of God was denyed which haply if he had liued his father Dauid might haue reioyced in Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children and be grieued for ignorance impietie and sinnes whereof either their carnall copulation the not lamenting of their naturall corruption the want of prayer and holy seede or prophane education armed with the wrath of God may be a most iust occasion Can parents hope for a holy posteritie or do they maruell if the Lord crosie them in the children of their bodies when they make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate when being ioyued in that honourable estate of matrimonie either as meete naturall men without all knowledge of God they beget their children or as too carnall men without the feare reuerence of the Lord neither bewailing their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestry nor praying against their infirmities which may descend to their posteritie they abuse the marriage bed Lastly when hauing receiued the fruite of the wombe they haue no care by good and vertuous bringing vp to offer it to the Lord that their child by carnall generation may be the child of God by spirituall regeneration Surely no and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation from which their children are descended without all looking back into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp will fret against their sinnes fume against their children yea often they will correct them and that to serue their owne corruptions not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God as that they haue offended them Christians therefore must know that when men and women raging with boyling lust meete together as bruite beasts hauing no other respect then to satisfie their owne carnall concupiscence when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bed with prayer when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters or naturall fooles or else such as hauing good gifts of the mind and well proportioned bodies are most wicked gracelesse and prophane persons Againe on the contrary we shall find in the word of God that noble and notable men commended vnto vs for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse were children asked and obtained of God by prayer Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their
helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how can hope sustaine these men that others will performe this duty for them to whom this charge doth farre lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remember that therefore they haue disordered and disobedient children to themselues because they haue bene disobedient children to the Lord and disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou maist haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed Bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seede and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seede then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may be an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou ô man ô woman that maist do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for them and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastors paines and the teachers trauell but if thou despisest these duties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon the childe at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God and blesse thy seede if thou beest faithfull thou mayest bothe hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seede and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seede is accursed But had not Iacob wicked children and Dauid vngodly sonnes and doth not daily experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the Couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good childe yet if vnto a thousand generations there be but one good the Couenant is not broken Noither must we tye the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an cuill sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet he may visit the sinnes of some of his fore-fathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second we say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercy to that particular man therein yet he may remember his promise to some of the fore-fathers in the thousand generations going before and though that euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following Wherefore not speaking of Election or Reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God as heires of the couenant or at least be comforted in their owne consciences If their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it yet they may reioyce in this that to the vttermost of their ability they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well and offered them to God And if parents haue cause to be grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griese may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Symeon to depart in peace leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord So in death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him How as much as he could he hath helped them forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut-throat of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their owne soules before the Lord either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and bloud then such as might be like Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their off-spring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they either prophanely neglected all good education or monstroufly misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to do to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they do lye in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soule Let all parents remember that they are bound by the law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest
wise man as euer was any before him or after him God hath endued him with heauenly gifts and had set him vp as a figure of his Sonne Christ yet when he had married with Pharaohs daughter and others of an other religion and strangers from the commonwealth of Israell he then fell from worse to worse till at the last he fell to miserable idolatrie 1. King 11. 4. What was the cause that Ahab king of Israell did worse then all the kings before him a man euen sold to worke wickednesse in the sight of the Lord aboue all his idolatries and walking in the most wretched wayes of Ieroboam the Scripture layeth this to his charge euen as his greatest 〈◊〉 that he tooke the daughter of the king of the Sydonians to his wife 1. King 16. 29. 30. 31. 23. 33. And lest such parents as either haue or hereafter shall marrie their children to Papists should thinke their case to be better then his because though they marry them to Papists or to Atheists yet they do not marry them to any Pagans let them consider what the Scripture teacheth them more Iehoram King of Iudah married neither with anie Sydonian nor AEgyptian neither with Pagan nor Infidell but with one of his owne people and of the Tribe of Israell yet because she had corrupted her religion in her fathers house the Scripture sheweth this to to be the cause of all Iehorams sinne He did euill in the sight of the Lord because the daughter of Ahab was his wife 2. Kings 1. 18. Yea the Scripture maketh this sinne so great that Iehosaphat a good King was yet defiled with it and it is reported as a great blemish of his vertuous doings that euer he suffered his sonne Iehoram so dangerously to marrie 2. Chron. 1. 18. When God would blame the idolatrie of his people of Israel shewing both how greatly he did hate it and what plagues he would bring vpon them for it he reuealed it vnto the Prophet 〈◊〉 this parable bidding him take vnto himselfe a wife of fornications that is a wife full of spirituall whoredomes such a one as a papist is that in such a marriage as in a glasse he might behold how lothsome the peoples idolatries were Hos. 1. 2. c. Parents haue further to remember that they haue not this rule and authoritie ouer their children that they may chuse whether they will let them marrie or no or when they list and whom they list but fathers and mothers must consider that they haue rule ouer their children vnder the Lord so that the Lord is aboue them and therefore parents must deale with their children according to the will and minde of God which will of God is reuealed vnto vs out of his word Now God by his Apostle saith To auoide fornication let euery man haue his owne wife and let euery woman haue her owne husband Whereby all parents may see that God commaundeth them to permit and suffer euery one to marrie that is disposed to marrie Now if they may not forbid any man or woman to marrie much lesse their owne children whom if they suffer not to marrie not hauing the gift of continencie then they breake and resist Gods ordinance For we reade that when Isaack forbad his sonne Iacob to marrie any of the daughters of Canaan he did not restraine him altogether from marriage and therefore he directed him where and with whom he should marrie Likewise the parents of Sampson when he asked a wife of them did not simply forbid him to marrie but they reproued him for because he would marrie an Insidell and a prophane woman Therefore such parents as be godly will haue aduised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children and whether they can liue continent and chast or no and if they shall make choise and haue a good liking to such as be honest religious and godly hauing craued their parents consent although they be not so rich and wealthie as they would wish them to matc h with yet they ought not to hinder 〈◊〉 and forbid their children to marrie onely for want of goods and substance Parents ought to be carefull that their children do marrie in such an age wherein they should vnderstand whom they choose and very well perceiue what they take in hand and that they do not seeke to match themselues in marriage aboue their degree And it is very expedient that parents admonish their children to make their choise according to their complexion and condition This is a most vnnaturall and cruell part for parents to sell their children for gaine and luker and to marrie them when they list and to whom they list without the good liking of their children and so bring them into bondage And therefore if parents shal force and compell their children to marrie contrarie to their minde and liking then the sorrowfull children may not say they haue married them but for euer they haue marred and vndone them And therefore to the end that marriages may be perpetuall louing and delightfull betwixt the parties there must and ought to be a knitting of hearts before striking of hands The places of Scripture are many and diuerse by which it may plainely appeare that all godly and Christian parents are charged by God himselfe that they should be carefull in time to make meete choise of husbands for their daughters and fit wiues for their sonnes amongst many these quotations do sufficiently proue it Deut. 7. 3. Nehemia 13. 23. 24. Ierem. 29. 6. 1. Corinth 7. 36. 37. 38. Genesis 24. 10. c and 28. 1. 2. and 4. 4. and 38. 6. 8. Iosua 15. 16. 17. 2. Samuel 13. 23. Iudges 14. 1. c. Let fathers and mothers therefore on whom this charge by God his Commandement lyeth to take wiues for their sonnes and to prouide husbands for their daughters take diligent heed hereunto that they abuse not their power and authoritie ouer their children but as in other cases they are willed by the Apostle that they deale not in such sort to wards them that they thereby be dismayed discouraged so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value of all other worldly things whatsoeuer let them abstaine from all rigour and roughnesse and beware that they turne not their fatherly iurisdiction and gouernment into a tyrannicall sowrenesse and waywardnesse letting their will go for a law and their pleasure for a reason For the rule of parents ouer their children ought to resemble the gouernment of good Princes towards their subiects that is to say it must be milde gentle and easie to be borne For as they so likewise parents so farre as concerneth them and lyeth in their abilitie to performe must carrie such an euen and vpright hand in their gouernment that they may by loue seeke to winne the hearts of those ouer whom they are set to be firme and sure towards them and not to
they command them and to refraine from those things which they forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindfull of benefits receiued and therefore carryeth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bene pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion be ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnesse And by this familiar description of these three heads wherein standeth chiefely the honour due vnto parents we may clearely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in awfull feare of them as whom they would be loath to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them nor haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friends and parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth nearer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequently they do not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God which without true and vnfained repentance must needs pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his most heauie and hote indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good nurtured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord and in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them in this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed nor euill-fauoured nor of a contrary religion they 〈◊〉 submit themselues vnto their choyce which if for the present or vpon the sodaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choyce but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection and to frame their wills to be plyable vnto their fathers in such lawsull cases For the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it Likewise Absolon vsing wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father for rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end Yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children If any man haue a sonne that is stubburne and disobedient which will not hear 〈◊〉 vnto the voyce of his father and the voyce of his mother and they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him and bring him out vnto the Elders of the Citie and vnto the gates of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his Citie This our sonne is stubburne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a riotour and a drunkard Then all the men of the Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death So thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it and feare For euen as a long and a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient children so on the other side all disobedient vnthankfull and obstinate children are assured of the punishment of infamie ioyned with diuers and great calamities and torments 1. Sam. 2. 22. 1. King 1. 25. c. Deut. 21. 18. c. Prou. 20. 20. 30. 17. And although that the temporall officers be negligent in punishing this disobedience yet shall they not escape vnpunished for the vengeance of God shall accompanie them vntill they be vtterly destroyed For there is nothing more vnnaturall then to see children dishonour and disobey their parents and inferiours their superiours Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the bellie of her dam and seeketh her owne life with her dams death So contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue beneficence and obedience extended towards 〈◊〉 father Iacob and his brethren in that he both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ was also obedient to his parents euen vntill death So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeares to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And S. Paul doth note that it is the first Commandement with promise For albeit there be a promise added to the second and others of the first Table yet this fift Commandemēnt is the first of righteousnesse and none in the second Table besides it hath any promise annexed thereunto For herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to their parents But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnesse and loue towards them It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy the earnest pennie of my goodnesse and grace towards thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs a blessing of God First because we cannot liue long without participating of many great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue glorifie God In confideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord neither any that go downe into the place of silence but we will praise the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezekiah King of Iudah also note in his Canticle The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I do this day the fathers to the children shall declare thy truth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue it to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto them And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne together these two sentences That it may go well with thee and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when
God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans estate whether it be lest malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some greater calamities wherein they might peraduenture be entangled or vpon whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with them But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honour their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children do chance to liue long so farre is long life from being vnto them a blessing that on the contrarie it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condemnation so as they had bene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it be God so disposeth thereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honour their parents are blessed and the others are accursed Eccles. 3. 2. c. And although some parents do not performe those duties towards their children enioyned them from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free from blame and guiltinesse before God For although they can say as the children in Ezekiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that although the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some young men and maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing at the least occasion of good things the rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sinnes vnder their parents defaults are plainly left without excuse and are iuftly guilty of the bloud of their owne soules Labour therefore ye young men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eyes and stay the mournfull and sorrowfull spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if ye haue any nature in you and haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whom ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despitefull violence in that ye are a corrasiue to their griefe when as ye should haue bene a crowne to their comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one speciall propertie of a liberall and ingenious nature to be carefull to liue that in time ye may be a glory to your fathers and a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts and admonitions before said are as a summary of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them do pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents de powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending them so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to be blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaacke to his sonne Iacob doth manifestly declare Gen. 27. 28. 29. What duties Maisters and Mistresses owe to their seruants THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie and comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentises and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing 4. Lastly when correction is necessary that then they giue it them with such discretion pittie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare children remembring alwayes that they haue a maister in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect poken of before in the dutie of parents For so much as maisters and housholders are to their seruants and apprentises in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to with-hold and keepe 〈◊〉 their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their well-doing and good deseruing slenderly but to be carefull of their seruants good estate as of their owne not onely in prouiding for them wholsome meate drink and lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as well in 〈◊〉 as in health liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as Christianity liberality and equality shall binde them but also that they be carefull that they liue honestly vertuously and Christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with too much labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide them when they shall neglect their duty lest they be prouoked with their hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord and maister in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons Ephes. 6. 9. And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithfull labour of their seruants and pay their couenants in a fit and conuenient time lest being compelled by necessitie they should steale Maisters ought not as tyrants to vse their seruants as their horses and asses but to deale with them louingly Christianly because they are all members of one body whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some maisters that vse their seruants and apprentises more like beasts then like men and their owne members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their maister a straight account Oh that Christian Maisters and Mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good and vpright dealing with his seruants which was farre from rigor For he saith If I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maide when they did contend with me that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me what then shall I do when God standeth
A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods Word Wherunto is adioyned in a more particular manner the seuerall duties of the Husband towards his wife and the wiues dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their children and the childrens towards their parents The Maisters dutie towards his seruants and also the seruants duty towards their Maisters First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused amended and augmented by Iohn Dod and Robert Cleuer ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BERNARD What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy Name of our Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour LONDON Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man and are to be sold by Arthur Iohnson neare the great North doore of Pauls Church 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVL MAISTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall one of his Maiesties Iustices of peace in the County of Warwicke to the right worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the Father by Iesus Christ and constancy in the truth of the Gospell to the end and in the end Auing collected finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising very carefully with my selfe to whom I might Dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage therof then some such meete persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall charges the seuerall points and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherupon calling to minde the holy exercises daily vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all iointly Patrons thereof First for that I acknowledge my self beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintanoe with you and therefore left I should deserue the blame of vnthankfulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your Names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of marriage so also you are and haue bin a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of Gods word and Religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly wold yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeares in an idle condition or to hide my talent in a napkin I haue bene no lesse carefull then willing to labour other wayes to do what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings For such Housholders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long enough talke of Discipline and still complaine of the want of Church gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their owne houses according to the direction in this Treatise and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their familie at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profite little For although there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in truth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in truth they were disordered and are still corrupted and marred at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnes which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden duties are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to be practised within their seuerall housholds For if Parents and Housholders shall performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meate drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and infidels do yeeld this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullockes should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a Christian housholder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants as much more Christian care then he hath ouer dumbe and insensible beasts that so he may receiue a singular comfort from the daily contēplation of their increase in spirituall graces Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder when he hath bene so diligent and carefull in the training and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and wayes of the Lord that he may rightly deserue to haue this worthy report and commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly Namely that he hath a Church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed as the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly house-keepers Aquila and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19 as also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are in the Lord to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of his Couenant or at the least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding that their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children and seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alas many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing moued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know
alone nor in publike societie of men onely but euen within the secret of our owne walles and towards such as be abiding vnder the same roofe And if we desire to walke with God as Enoch did we must set vp this light for our selues to liue by at home For then we do no iniquitic when we walke in his way Where no wisedome is vsed in gouerning families there all goeth to wracke and there many enormities are to be found as wofull breaches betweene man and wife gracelesnesse and vnthrifrinesse of children lewdnesse of seruants and foule escapes And where carnall pollicie ruleth and not the wisedome which is from aboue there all that is done tendeth to the ease pleasure and profite of this life wherein it is fitter for bruite beasts then for men to seeke their felicitie Now that there is a good kind of gouerning of a familie which they who follow wisely may be said to gouerne well appeareth out of the first Epistle to Timothie 3. verse 4. 5. One that guideth his house well c. And after He that knoweth not to gouerne his owne house c. Whereby it is euident that there is a way of ordering the family aright and there is no misgouerning of it To set downe this good gouernment exactly is a hard matter Here onely we will note some things which do appertaine vnto that gouernment which we speake of And to do it more orderly that it may be the better vnderstood we must consider that as may also be gathered out of that place of Timothie there are two sorts in euery perfect familie 1. The Gouernours 2. Those that must be ruled And these two sorts haue speciall duties belonging to them the one towards the other in the carefull performance whereof from the one to the other consisteth the good gouernment of a familie The gouernours of a family be such as haue authoritie in the familie by Gods ordinance as the father and mother maister and mistrisse To whom as God hath giuen authoritie ouer their children and seruants so he would haue them to vse it to the wise gouernment of them not onely for their owne priuate profit credit or pleasure but also for the good of those whom they are to gouerne for by a wise gouernment much good cometh to the parties gouerned If maisters then or parents do not gouerne but let seruants and children do as they list they do not onely disobey God and disaduantage themselues but also hurt those whom they should rule for when as any haue such libertie to do as they list it maketh them grow out of order to the prouoking of Gods displeasure and curse against themselues wheras if they had bene held in by the bridle of Gouernment they might be brought to walke so as the blessing of God might follow them in their courses All gouernment of a familie must be in comelinesse or decencie that is it must be such as is meete and conuenient both for the gouernour and for the persons gouerned And therefore it is impossible for a man to vnderstand how to gouerne the common wealth that doth not know to rule his owne house or order his owne person so that he that knoweth not to gouerne deserueth not to reigne Lordlinesse is vnmeete in an houshold gouernment and yet familiaritie with such as are vnder gouernment breedeth cōtempt Againe for the persons gouerned all in the familie are not to be gouerned alike There is one rule to gouerne the wife by another for children another for seruants One rule for yong ones another for old folkes The gouernment of a Familie tendeth vnto two things specially First Christian holinesse And secondly the things of this life By the first God is glorified by the second this present life is sustained in such sort as God seeth good for vs. How-soeuer where Humane pollicie is the rule of Household gouernment there men onely haue an eye to the things of this life yet they which fetch their Wisedome to rule by out of the Word shall vnderstand that their gouernment must not onely be ciuill but godly also that is they must seeke to haue holinesse found in their habitation whereby God may be glorified as well as riches gotten that they may be comforted This hath bene the course of holy men in former Ages Abraham flected often from place to place yet he built an Altar wheresoeuer he became yea and trained vp his Familie in the feare of God He did not seeke excuse in his vnsetled estate to let passe the cares of holinesse Holie Iob was not contented onely to worship God himselfe alone but sanctified his sonnes that is prepared them to worship God with him Iacob at his returne from Padan-Aram purged his Familie and set vp Gods worship there Iosuab saith Though others would forsake the Lord yet he and his Familie would cleaue vnto him and serue him The vertuous Woman openeth her mouth in wisedome and teacheth mercie vnto her seruants Many of the faithfull when they themselues beleeued in Christ laboured to bring their families to the faith also Parents are also commanded to bring vp their children in the instruction and information of the Lord. By all which places it is euident that religion must be stirring in Christian families that good gouernment looketh to bring godly behauiour into families as well as thrift and good husbandry For want of this care many parents leaue their children faire faces and foule minds proper bodies and deformed soules full coffers and emptie hearts For want of this God may dwell in Churches if he will but he hath no abode allowed him in priuate families For will God be where he may not rule but must be an vnderling and stand and looke on when profit and pleasure shall be serued and aloft Yet the Spirit of God saith That God will come and dwell with them that loue him and keepe his Commandements Where therefore holinesse is not sought for in families there God hath no friends norlouers nor walkers with him howsoeuer they will sometimes come visit him in the Church Besides the ill successe that such walkers haue who make their houses Temples to Mammon and riches should teach vs to haue a principall respect to God in Christianity ruling our houses Manie thriue not but put that which they get into a bottomles bagge For God who hath none or the lowest regard in their courses and household affaires with-holdeth his blessings from them and then in vaine do men rise early and go late to bed and eate the bread of carefulnesse Others thriue but it is a wofull thrist that serueth to harden the heart and to bewitch the soule with loue and liking of this world For Gods iust iudgement is vpon many this way because they will needs serue their owne commodity chiefly at home the Lord giuing them vp to thēselues they neuer serue him
so rare in the world as it is and men altogether so vnacquainted with it as they be nay so lothsome and tedious to flesh bloud that they are afraid once to begin with it yet let the bare commandement of God preuaile more with vs to take it in hand and to continue in it then all that can be said or thought against it should weigh with vs either to keepe vs from it at the first or afterwards cause vs to giue it ouer And that all men might do it so much the rather let them be assured that the want of this especially is the cause of so many wicked and rebellious children vntrusty and disobedient seruants nay vnfaithfull and vnkind wiues euery where euen for that their husbands their fathers and their maisters do not call vpon them to serue God and see them sanctifie the Sabbath It is a common and iust complaint in all places in the mouth of euery man that seruants and children will not be ruled that they cannot tel where to find a good seruant they know not whom to trust but they see not the greatest cause of it to be in themselues and so go not about to remedie it For whiles they labour not to make their children the sonnes and daughters of God by adoption and to bring their seruants within the houshold of God that they might be his seruants by grace and to make their wiues the chast spouses of Iesus Christ and so all of them to serue him the Lord iustly punisheth them making wiues children seruants and all disobediēt vnto them For how can they do duties vnto men if they haue not learned to do duties vnto God and so of conscience for Gods sake to do duties vnto men Nay must not the Lord needs punish them with disobedience against themselues that by their owne experience they may know how grieuous the neglect of his seruice is vnto himselfe when he iustly measureth out vnto them with the same measure that they haue meat vnto him before And whereas men are readie to imagine and we know it is that which many do obiect against this that to deale so straightly with their houshold were the next way to ridde themselues of all good seruants and that then they might soone be maister and man themselues They must againe on the contrary vnderstand that it is a great wickednesse in them once to thinke that the Lord should require that of them which would necessarily driue them to such inconuenience Nay rather they must be assuredly perswaded That godlinesse hath the promises of this life as well as of the life to come and that if we first seeke the kingdome of God and his righteousnesse in our selues and others all needfull things shall be cast vnto vs. Euen as it is said of Abraham I know that he will commaund his sonnes and his houshold after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to do righteousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So that thus to do is the very high way not to keepe vs. from but to bring vs vnto the fruition of all Gods promises if we giue credit vnto him who as he onely maketh them in the beginning of meere mercy so must he onely accomplish them in the end by his constant veritie and truth We confesse indeed if he be an ill seruant this is the readiest way to be rid of him whose roome is better then his company for he thinketh himselfe to be in a prison nay in hell all the while but in the end he shall perceiue that he is gone from the way of heauen vnto hell if the Lord be not more mercifull vnto him And why should we be loth to depart from the seruice of them that haue no care to serue God or can we looke that they should do any faithfull seruice vnto vs that are so vnfaithfull in the seruice of God But as concerning the rest if any be religious this is the best meane to retaine and keepe them if they be but indifferent this may winne them if they be falling away this may recouer them For what shall we thinke of all the godly fathers in times past that when they vowed diligently to looke to their housholds that they should serue God with them and did constantly performe it that then they had no seruants at all Was so great a man as Iehoshua without seruants when he promised before so many witnesses that he and his house should serue the Lord Was Dauid left alone and constrained to do all himselfe when as being a mightie King he bound himselfe vnto it by that song which he made for the same purpose wherein he saith Mine eyes shall be vnto the faithfull of the land that they may dwell with me he that walketh in a perfect way he shall serue me there shall no deceitfull person dwell in mine house he that telleth lies shall not remaine in my sight Had not Abraham a great household when he was able on a sudden to carrie forth with him of them that were borne and brought vp in his house three hundred and eighteene men in armour to rescue his brother Lot Ofwhom notwithstanding it is said that he would teach his children the way of the Lord as it appeareth he did indeed when by his onely perswasion at the word of God all the males were contented to be circumcised and to receiue that Sacrament vnknowne before and painefull and also ignominious to the flesh if they had looked onely to the outward signe And must not that worthy Captaine of an hundred Italian souldiers needs haue a greater familie then many of these that cauill at this doctrine of whom the spirit of truth reporteth That he feared God and all his houshold What shall we thinke of all these men Shall we ignorantly presume to the further deceiuing of our selues and hardening vs in this sinne that the times were then better and good seruants then more plentifull Or must we needs confesse as the truth is indeed that these men vsed more meanes to make their seruants the seruants of God then men do now a dayes and that so the blessing of God was greater vpon them And is it not set downe in writing for our learning to shew vs what is that which we might looke for at Gods hands if we would walke in the same way that they did seeing there is no respect of persons times or places with him Secondly he must set an order in his house for the seruice of God to wit that morning and euening before meales and after meales prayers and thankes may be offered vnto God and so he acknowledged to be the authour not onely of all spirituall graces that belong to a better life but also of all temporal blessings that belong to this life For seeing that it is Gods good hand ouer vs that doth defend
that is thou shalt be free from sorrow heauinesse and many troubles which many parents haue with vngracious children and on the other side thou shalt haue much comfort and delight by him Great benefit also commeth thereby to the children as he sheweth in the 15. verse The rod and correction giue wisedome aud Chap. 23. 13. 14. Whereas the neglect of it bringeth hurt to the child and to the parents as followeth A child set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed And for seruants the Wiseman doth closely shew how they must be dealt withall where he saith Prou. 29. 21. He which bringeth vp his seruant delicately from his youth at length will be depriued of his children And a little before verse 19. he saith A seruant will not be chastised with words though he vnderstand yet he will not answer or regard These Scriptures shew that God hath put the rod of correction in the hands of the Gouernours of the family by punishment to saue them from destruction which if the bridle were let loose vnto them they would run vnto Where men and women are content to go contrary to their owne nature and to vndergo ill reports to obey the ordinance of God there God will giue a blessing that is a well ordered familie wherein all shall be of good hope These be the duties that the chiefe of the familie oweth to them of his familie within doores as touching godlinesse The wife also which is a fellow-helper hath some things belonging to her to further godlinesse in her familie As for example in her selfe to giue example to her houshold of all readie submission to all good and Christian orders to order her houshold affaires so carefully that no exercise of religion be hindred or put out of place at such time as they should be done in her husbands absence to see good orders obserued as he hath appointed to watch ouer the manners and behauiour of such as be in her house and to helpe her husband in spying out euils that are breeding that by his wisedome they may be preuented or cured Salomon saith of the vertuous woman that she ouerseeth the wayes of her houshold And a little before she openeth her mouth with wisedome and the law of grace is in her tongue And Saint Paul requireth that wiues specially the elder be teachers of good things and that they instruct the yonger They may also do much good in framing the tender yeares of their children vnto good while they be vnder their hands For euen as a child cockered and made a wanton by the mother will be more vntractable when the father will seeke to bend him to good so on the other side a child wisely trained vp by the mother in the yong yeares will be the easilier brought to goodnesse by the fathers godly care We reade that Timothy was made acquainted with the Scripture from a little child by meanes of his godly mother and grandmother a good patterne for Christians And marke the proofe God recompenced their godly care exceedingly for Timothie proued a rare yong man of excellent graces to the great ioy and comfort of his parents Mothers may also powre good liquor into their childrens tender vessels the sauour whereof shall sticke in them a long while after I meane they may sow in their mindes the seede of religion and godlinesse These and such like duties if the wife performe constantly she shall bring no small helpe to her husband for the godly and religious ordering of his house And thus much of that part of Houshold gouernment which concerneth godlinesse Now we come to the other part which pertaines to the things of this life wherein is to be considered what is the duty of the husband and of the wife namely to Take order for Prouision and Health They must take order for prouision for necessaries to the maintenance of themselues and all their charge These necessaries are food and rayment Also care must be had of the health of such as be in their families both to preserue it by rest and recreation if need be and to restore it if it be hindred by good looking to such as are fallen into sicknesse That the gouernours of the familie must make honest prouision for themselues and their charge and not liue vpon the Church-almes or by begging purloyning borrowing or cousining It is most euident by that saying of Saint Paul to Timothie He that prouideth not for his owne and especially for them of his house hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an infidell And Salomon saith The iust man regardeth the life of his beast much more of his seruants and children And as the Spirit of God chargeth vs with this dutie so he setteth vs about such things whereby this may be compassed and forewarneth vs of those things whereby it might be hindered The things that he teacheth vs for the making of this prouision are first That euery one should haue some honest and good calling and should walke diligently in it that it may bring in honest gaine whereby necessaries for the family may be prepared That euery man must applie himselfe to some studie and calling is so knowne that it needeth no proofe In the sweate of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread c. Which condemneth all such as liue of the labours of other men and themselues take no paines or trauaile do no good in the world benefite not humane societie any way but deuoure the good creatures of the earth which indeed belong to them that take all the paines In this ranke do a number of Gentiles in the world march deuising gay toyes which might well be spared who are but vnprofitable burthens of the earth that fill vp number like Ciphers who glory in their shame that is in their ease pleasures and brauerie whereof if they knew whereto a man was borne they would be ashamed These be they for whose maintenance in their iollitie a number are faine to toyle very hardly fare meanely and spend their strength to the very skinne and bones and yet can get but a slender recompence through their vnmercifull exactions But enough of them to returne The good gouernour of a house must be none of these but he must haue a calling that is good honest and lawfull not onely gainfull to himselfe but also holy and profitable to the societie of mankind For thus much doth Saint Paul comprehend within the compasse of his words Ephes. 4. 28. But let him labour the thing that is good It is not enough to haue a calling though it be neuer so good but it must be followed so as it may bring in maintenance for thee and thine such as is meete for thy estate But how must it be followed First with diligence for as Salomon saith Prou. 8. 9. He that caryeth himselfe slothfully or loosely in his businesse is the brother of a great waster that is
bestow or not to bestow his daughter in marriage saying In doing either of the twaine he sinneth not Yet it is written in another place If the father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of Virgins In which words the Lord doth giue an absolute authority to the father to yeeld or not to yeeld his consent to giue or not to giue his daughter For if he haue power to deny it to his daughter that is deflowred and so by the Apostles iudgement made one flesh with another much more lawfully may he deny his consent to her that is no manner of way bound but is euery way free And if he haue power to deny his consent in such a case much more hath he power to giue his consent Now his authority and power to deny his consent is apparent by the expresse commandement of God in that behalfe which saith Take heed to thy selfe that thou make no compact with the inhabitants of the land and so take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes c. More plaine Neither shalt thou make marriages with them neither giue thy daughter vnto his sonne nor take his daughter to thy sonne How could those parents obserue this commandement vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children or why doth he rather forbid to the parents then to the children but to shew that the power to giue or not to giue was in the parents and not in the children especially considering the children being the principall parts of their parents goods are no lesse in their power and authoritie to giue and bestow then the rest are This was so well knowne in the Church and so vsually practised amongst the people of God that the greatest among them who might seeme to haue greatest liberty in that behalfe durst not disobey the holy commandement of God For Sampson the strongest of all though he loued a Maide of the Philistims yet he durst not betroth himselfe vnto her before he had intreated his parents to giue her vnto him Dauid a mighty valiant Prince begged Michol at the hands of Saul her father and after his death being betrothed vnto her he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues And Abraham the father of the faithfull by his seruant intreated Rebeccaes parents to giue her to wife vnto his sonne Isaack All which testimonies and examples do plainly proue the great interest power and authority that parents haue in bestowing their children and that their consent added to the sixe former points whereof we haue spoken doth make for so sure a Contract as cannot be loosed and vntyed by any authoritie vnder heauen For here in this that saying of Christ Matth. 19. 6. is truly verified Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together but if this or any of the former be omitted the Contract may be broken and disanulled And lest we should be ignorant or forget what those errors are which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract These they be 1. First if there be onely a naked shew of a promise and yet no promise indeed 2. Secondly if any other thing be promised then Marriage 3. Thirdly if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced 4. Fourthly if one of the parties alone do promise and not both 5. Fifthly ifit were wade betweene other creatures or betweene moe then one man and one woman 6. Sixthly if the persons contracted or either of them be altogether vnfit for marriage 7. Seuenthly if either of them be formerly betrothed or haue committed adultery after the Contract or be allyed or ofkinne or for any other cause not at liberty to marry 8. Eightly if there lacke the consent of the parents If all or any of these be vndoubtedly knowne and clearely proued they do ioyntly and seuerally frustrate or nullifie the Contract so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the same and set the parties at libertie But contrarily if all these concurre and accord the Contract is as inuiolable as marriage it selfe neither can the parties be set at liberty by themselues or by any power whatsoeuer because this Contract and euery parcell thereof is in the Lord which being a sacred ordinance of God as it cannot but haue speciall vse and fruite among his Saints so now it is time to declare and teach the same First therefore it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headinesse of carnall naturall and brutish lust For if this Contract be holily and dutifully kept according to the former doctrine it would neuer come to passe that any person man or woman should abuse their bodies suddenly or hastily vpon euery instigation oflust like brute beasts but would willingly in all modesty and sobriety take sufficient time of deliberation for the making and accomplishing of this necessary and holy Contract which is ordained to this end that men might haue sufficient time of deliberation to learne all the vses and abuses all the commodities and incommodities all the comforts and discomforts with all the duties breaches of duties that can befall in the honourable estate of marriage 2 Secondly it serueth to discouer betimes and in good season all sorts of impediments lets that may or ought to hinder the marriage that is promised Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimony thrice or three seuerall dayes to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might be remedied rather then after marriage accomplished when it is remedilesse 3 Thirdly it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastity seeing by this meanes not onely former promises and contracts but also fornications if any haue bene and adulteries may be descried and discerned For after Ioseph was contracted before he was married his wife was found to be with child though without ill demeanour on her part yet it made Ioseph so afraid that he had intended in his heart priuately to relinquish forsake her and had so done indeed had not Gods Angell commanded the contrary Neuerthelesse it was the Contract that discouered this truth and so preserued Maries virginitie that the Scripture might be fulfilled which saith A Virgine shall conceiue c. If this were not men might vpon knowledge or ignorance make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues either betrothed or married and so lose their honesty and chastity to their great infamy and hinderance 4 Last of all it serueth to condemne and auoyd all priuate Contracts and secret marriages and contrarily to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of Marriage as well in the beginning as in the end thereof that all things touching the same might be begun continued and finished in the Lord according to his commandement that his promised blessings might ensue vpon it accordingly This being done
the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answer at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to be made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demanded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to be required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like 1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete till such time I take thee for my onely betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to be done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of parents kinsfolks and friends After this the parents are to be admonished to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neare nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinency In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed do come And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage it is very necessary for these causes 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts men and betwixt the prophane and his children for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner being led by a naturall 〈◊〉 and motion come together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should 〈◊〉 seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of marriage For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse So that in his house you shall find the chast wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor marked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her family seruants and children the maister father and husband the children and seruants euery one likewise in his degree employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approuing his doings as before God Now like as in the mind there are such vertues as we haue before spoken of so are 〈◊〉 in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeliefe idolatrie superstition ignorance churlishnesse lying falshood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbiting distemperance drunkennesse gluttony couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshame fastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vain-glory childing brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or the a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices he seeketh not a spouse 〈◊〉 she a husband for a right peaceable good honest and Christian life but an hell a painefulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to be hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word bring all vice and abhominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This cometh of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these carnall cloudie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them After the riches of the mind do the riches of the bodie follow next of which sort is a comely beautifull or well-fauoured body health a conuenient age c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape meete and of strength to beare children and gouerne an house euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other and to be content withall c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body where there is else no good property or qualitie beside Salomon saith Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is vanitie but the woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion or is of vncomely behauiour and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery and more profitable to those that behold it then to those that haue it The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie but a little as it were in a glasse and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill She that is faire waxeth proud of it and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vnto filthy loue But in the mind which is iudged to be the man consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue being mixt with nothing that is shamefull either to be done or spoken And therefore there is no man so farre without wit that had not rather haue her which
all other And this doth God declare saying Let vs make Adam as helper like vnto himselfe By the helper is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice and by the similitude and likenesse are signified loue and helpefulnesse For a seruant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place there can neither be so much loue and ability to minister helpe and comfort to a man as will be found in a faithfull wife The child is part of the father and through a naturall pitie they loue each other but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children but the children seldome labor or take paines for their fathers and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses whereby in a manner it appeareth that their streight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake but the wife cleane contrarie doth continually take paines for her husband who may as long as she liueth neither change house nor bed If commoditie and prosit be looked for no commoditie excelleth this if thou shalt loue thy wife thou shalt liue most pleasantly if not thy life will be most miserable and wretched For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee nor any thing more happy then to loue him that loueth thee Therefore loue that thou mayest be loued Now we will in few words shew the occasions of Wedlocke why and wherefore it was ordained and for what purpose it should be contracted that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent when either of them granteth to marry the other Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be but that marriage which was ordained of such an excellent author as of God himselfe and in such a worthy place as Paradise and of such an ancient time as in state of Adam and Eues innocencie and after such a notable order must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordinance of it Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefly three causes thereof The first is the procreation begetting and bringing vp of children Gen. 1. 27. 28. 9. 1. For in the children do parents liue after a sort euen after death And if they be well and vertuously brought vp God is greatly honoured by them the commonwealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them For they are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late but neuer an apt haruest yong branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow c. But more of this shall be said after in the dutie of Parents Although marriage be an holy and sanctified ordinance yet none may vse the benefit of it without some acknowledgement of originall sin in that vncleannesse may be practised therein which should cause Gods children to vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be and husband and wise to keepe themselues together in the feare of God and in all modestie and sobrietie If then in marriage it selfe there be such mischiefes what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes which are not expressed with these considerations So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate to giue libertie to their wiues in vncleannesse nor wiues to consent with their husbands in impuritie by immoderate intemperate or excessiue lust Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse c. 1. Tim 4. 4. 5. Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife when it is with her as it is common to women c. Ezechiel 18. 6. Leuiticus 18. 19. 24. 22 and 19. 18. This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Canaanites out of their land The second occasion why marriage was ordained was that the wife might be a lawfull remedy to auoide whoredome fornication and all filthy vncleane lusts 1. Cor. 7. 2. 3. c. Touching this point I will say no more for it is handled at large by others already and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it The third and last cause was for mans commoditie to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse that the one may helpe comfort the other in sicknesse in affiction and in all houshold cares and trouble as education of children and keeping the family in order For this cause old men and old women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by God himfelfe an helper and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly do say and as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one againe if we could be without women we should be without great troubles These and such like sayings tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiseretly do vomit out contrarie to the minde of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordained as a helper and not a hinderer And if they be otherwise it is for the most part through the fault and want of discrerion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned together they may the more easily dispatch their handy businesse and houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hand or one foote if by any meanes he get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth or go whither he will euen so he that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable commodities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersity the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wits both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and leude women yet that doth no more proue the malice of their nature then of men And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like fury vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and companie of the husband and wife is made amiable sweet and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue 〈◊〉 forbearing mutuall loue and by dut 〈◊〉 performed busily and godlily on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place for there
We see by experience that euery beast and euery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it onely some women loue to be mothers but not nurses As therefore euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth euen so also it becometh naturall mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke Secondly the examples of the Scriptures are many that proue this As Sarah who nursed Isaack though she were a Princesse and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken that paines Though she was a beautifull woman and of great yeares yet she her selfe nursed and gaue sucke to her sonne Also Anna vnto whom the holy Ghost hath left it recorded as a commendation that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel So when God chose a nurse for Moses he led the hand-maide of Pharaos daughter to his mother as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother Like wise when the Sonne of God was borne his Father thought none fit to be his nurse but the blessed virgin his mother It is a commendation of a good woman and set downe in the first place as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of if she haue nursed her children And therfore such as refuse thus to do may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers yea in so doing they make themselues but halfe mothers and so breake the holy bond of nature in locking vp their breasts from their children and deliuering them forth like the Cuckoo to be hatched in the sparrowes nest Thirdly the childrens bodies be commonly so affected as the milke is which they receiue Now if the nurse be of an euill complexion as she is affected in her body or in her mind or hath some hidden disease the child sucking of her breast must needs take part with her And if that be true which the learned do say that the temperature of the mind followes the constitution of the body needs must it be that if the nurse be of a naughty nature the child must take thereafter Yet if it be so that the nurse be of a good complexion and of an honest behauiour whereas contrariwise maidens that haue made a scape are commonly called to be Nurses yet can it not be but that the mothers milke should be much more naturall for the child then the milke of a stranger As by experience let a man be long accustomed to one kind of drinke if the same man change his ayre and his drinke he is like to mislike it as the egges of a henne are altered vnder a hawke Neuerthelesse such women as be oppressed with infirmities diseases want of milke or other iust and lawfull causes are to be dispensed withall But whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought Forsooth it is like the gowt no beggers may haue it but Citizens or Gentlewomen In the ninth of Hosea verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse What a lamentable hap haue Gentle-women to light vpon this curse more then others Sure if their breasts be drie as they say they are they should fast and pray together that this curse might be remoued from them And lastly that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues both Physitians can tell and some women full oft haue felt when they haue bene troubled with sore breasts besides other diseases that happen to them through plentie of milke The wise is further to remember that God hath giuen her two breasts not that she should employ and vse them for a shew or of ostentation but in the seruice of God and to be a helpe to her husband in suckling the child common to them both Experience teacheth that God conuerteth the mothers bloud into the milke wherewith the child is nursed in her wombe He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples conuenient to minister the warme milke vnto the child whom he endueth with industrie to draw out the milke for his owne sustenance The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not but resuseth this office and duty of a mother declareth her selfe to be very vnthankfull to God and as it were forsaketh and contemneth the fruite of her wombe And therefore the bruite beasts lying vpon the ground and granting not one nipple or two but sixe or seauen to their young ones shall rise in iudgment against these dainty half-mothers who for feare of wrinckling of their faces or to auoyd some small labour do refuse this so necessary a duty of a mother due to her children The properties due to a married wife are that she haue grauitie when she walketh abroad wisedome to gouerne her house patience to suffer her husband loue to breed and bring vp her children courtesie towards her neighbours diligence to lay vp and to saue such goods as are within her charge that she be a friend of honest company and a greater enemie of want on and light toyed So then the principall dutie of the wife is first to be subiect to her husband Ephes. 5. 22. Colloss 3. 18. 1. Pet. 3. 1. 2. To be chast and shamefast modest and silent godly and discreet 3. To keepe her selfe at home for the good gouernment of her family and not to stray abroad without iust cause Here it is not to be pretermitted but we must say somewhat touching men and women that betwise married and so become step-fathers and step-mothers Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe after the death of their first wiues or first husbands are carefully to remember that they do not displease their wiues or their husbands which they now haue by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife or first husband For the course and condition of the world is such that husbands and wiues do account and reckon things past better then things that be present And the reason is because no commoditie or felicitie is so great but it hath some griefe and displeasure and also some bitternesse mingled with it which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore but when it is once gone it leaueth no great feeling of it selfe behind it and for that cause we seeme to be lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past then with those that are present Also age stealeth and commeth on apace which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and endure troubles and griefes then before Therefore such men and women as be twise married and be wise and religious ought not to esteeme their wife or husband which is dead better then her or him which they enioy now aliue remembering the common prouerbe That we must liue by the quicke and not by the dead and that we must make much of that we now haue Let the name of step-father and step-mother admonish and put them in mind of their duty towards the children of the one and the other For step-father and step-mother doth signifie a sted-sted-father and a
of the owner to be vsed euen so children well-taught are at the commandement of godly parents 5. Lastly Iet parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another which do not their dutie in bringing vp their children as they ought to do First they transgresse the law of nature which telleth all men that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly Secondly they sinne against God for they despise the commandement and authoritie of God for he commandeth that children should be brought vp religiously and honestly but he is a despiser of God that refuseth to do as he is commanded Thirdly they offend against their owne credite and estimation For Gods will is that parents should after a sort be in his stead so farre foorth as pertaineth to outward discipline But such make small account of this dignity who neglect their dutie in this behalfe Parents are further to vnderstand that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to haue their children taught to pray to God and to rehearse the Apostles Creede and the ten Commendements For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather be inclined to godlinesse and reuerence towards God so as they increase in age they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne to their owne comfort instruction and saluation Also the tongue is called the glorie of man because that besides all other reasons by his speech he is discerned from the bruit beastes so it is meete that so soone as the child can begin to speake his tongue should be employed to glorifie God by calling vpon him and by learning some short Catechisme containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion as also in repeating the will of God in such sort as he will that we should serue and honour him If parents do note and perceiue any vice in their little ones as swearing lying choller enuie filching couetousnes contempt of parents readinesse to strike and other like corruptions it is their duty diligently and in time to reproue and correct them as men vse to pluck vp weeds while they be yet yong lest growing vp among the good seedes they should hinder their growth and choke them vp By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones do lay their limmes right each in his place likewise if a child be giuen to be left handed they chide him yea sometimes they bind it vp or otherwise restraine the vse of it that he may be accustomed to vse his right hand Also if the child haue some string vnder his tongue they cut it lest it should hinder his speech much more then ought they to beware that through their negligence the vices of the soule do not increase For it is the dutie of the parents euen in the infancie to begin to shape and frame the foule vnto vertue It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and rcade for it may be vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account then mony And therefore the negligence ofmany is sharpely to be reproued besides that the performance of this dutie doth greatly binde their children vnto them Neuerthelesse the principall end thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present-life but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation Also it 〈◊〉 their parts to vse them daily to reade some Chapters of the holy Scriptures thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holy Ghost by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare Therefore if parents do looke that their children should obey them then let them ioyne and accustome them to Gods word which will redound much to their parents profit If they cause their children to heare and read the holy Scriptures therein they may learne Honour thy father and thy mother but if parents do otherwise then they traine them vp in the Scriptures of diuels whereout their children will learne most wicked things but it is not so when they are instructed in the holy Scriptures Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them namely to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare ofGod and in the faith of Iesus Christ Deut. 6. 6. 7. and 32. 46. Ephes. 6. 4. So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age It is then great folly to linger children in the learning of vaine 〈◊〉 and vnprofitable things which as they grow in years they will contemne and forget Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course trade or other estate wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men and verily such fathers as do neglect that are vnworthy to haue children But as the soule is more precious then the body so is the dutie of parents in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things wherewith in age euen in this life they may glorifie God and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge or bevnwilling to take leisure to teach them yet let them do as much for their childrens soules and the life to come as for their bodies and this present life Parents that either cannot write and reade or will not or haue no time to teach their children will yet send them to schoole and such as would haue them learne some art or occupation or traffique if themselues professe not the same wherein they like to employ their children they will yet put them to dwell with those that do professe the same to the end they may learne How therefore can parents excuse themselues when their children remaine vntaught in those things that concerne the glory of God and life euerlasting But howsoeuer it be if they be neither able of thēselues nor do prouide to haue them taught by others they shall be inexcusable in the sight of God the ignorance of the children ingendring contempt of God loue of the world and neglect of heauenly felicitie will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents so that if they account not their children as beastes without soule or if they loue them with the due loue belonging to parents let them declare their loue especially to the soule the Christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure Some say it would be a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neare kindred and consequently their children and this commeth of naturall affection But might it not be a greater discomfort for them
euen in their life time to see them go to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination be a great helpe to profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and sharpe them that way yea euen such that by experience we find this old Prouerbe true Vse ouer cometh nature as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber and letting it lie long in that bent it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good seed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase iron weareth with handling the water by continuall dropping weareth the stone wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome are brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wiz most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remēbring that a seale entreth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales baudie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children lest they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old Prouerbe saith halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tye a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation or to learning then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall be religious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God In the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth men to enquire of his or her truth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a maister before they make enquirie of his honestie and Christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When men buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken lest they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie yet do they not sound whether the maister to whom they commit their child be vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some do respect their friendship with some maisters rather then their vertue and so do commit to them their children lest they should be angrie for putting them to another These men do resemble and be like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest liaue any weightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a voyage through some dangerous sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because he is thy friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profit honour safetie and saluation of thy childe Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may either spare or get worldly goods Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure and accustome them to vertue and indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed do far excell such as onely do beget them for of these they 〈◊〉 life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens maisters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and go forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the maisters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The maisters eye fatteth the horse and this The maisters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men and women for their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his houshold to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne 〈◊〉 to serue God with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his houshold Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothie that she nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God and to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they do amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding and abhominable in their doing ignorant and voide of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must be diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honesty themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the yong learneth such a father such a sonne such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours
Elie was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes which is a notable example necessary for all parents to imprint in their hearts that they may see their children well taught and corrected lest they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon thē as it did vpon this Elie who honored his children aboue the Lord and therefore the Lord cut him and them off For the comfort he had of his sonnes was this the Arke the witnesse of the Lords presence was lost thirty thousand of the people slaine his two sonnes Hophni and Phineas killed himselfe when newes thereof came vnto him for sorrow fell backward and brake his necke vpon this his daughter in law fell in trauell and in trauell dyed the remnant of his house were glad to craue and beg for a small peece of siluer and a morsell of bread Also the two and forty children that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet saying Come vp thou Bald-head were rent in peeces with beares Thus we see that children vntaught and vnchastized bring shame and confusion to their parents Let them therefore alwayes remember this that they prouide and bestow diligent labour that their children be foorthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse whilest their wits are yet voide from cares and vices and whilest their age is tender and tractable and their minds flexible and readie to euery thing for then they will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts if they be taught them For this is certaine that we remember nothing so well when we be old as those things we learne in young yeares It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straight way while it is moist to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilest they are new to die and litte the wooll while it is faire and white and not defiled with any spots The Emmets or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes in Sommer whereby they should liue in winter Bees learne not to make their cells to gather iuyce and to make honey but all these things be done by instinction of nature So euery liuing thing the lesse meete it is to learning so much the more it hath of natiue prudence but man neither can eate nor go nor speake except he be taught Then if fertile fields for want of tillage waxe barren if trees being neglected either bring forth no fruite or else the same vnsauourie without diligence or grafting and pruning if dogs be vnmeet to hunt the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto how vile then and vnprofitable creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught his horse well broken his land well husbanded his house goodly trimmed and richly furnished and yet to haue his child shamefully rude in manners and altogether voyd of all garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse What a great folly and madnesse is this for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions and to haue no regard of his child for whom the same is gotten This is no lesse shame to heare then if a man taking thought for the shooe would set nought by the foote or with great care and studie would prouide that there should be no fault in the childes garments not regarding the health of his body This is as the common saying is to be penny wise and pound foolish to saue a sticke and burne a house to saue a ioynt and lose the body But oh vaine man hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne faire buildings and full of lands then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse and so leaue him a vertuous consceince Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him with rust and moth to be consumed then to teach him the knowledge of God which will not canker but last for aye Most parents a pitifull thing to remember be louing to the bodies of their children but their soules they care not for they desire their welfare in this world but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come Yea fathers prouide lands rents reuenues great annuities fees and offices for their children here but alas few prouide or be carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewaile and much Iament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckoning of If they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sinne and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents do carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and so by good meanes admonish and draw them from their sinne As parents be carefull to prouide temporall things for their childrens bodies which are transitory so much more carefull ought they to be to prouide spiritual things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeares of discretion and this is the most acceptable seruice that they can do to God Children are called the fruite of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing foorth good fruite so parents should shew their goodnesse in the good education of their children which are their fruit To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Prou. 22. 6. is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to do it For who should teach and informe the childe but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them and they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparent euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruite beasts to bring vp their young And further this dutie is yet enforced from the opportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grew or sprong vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soyle best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children be not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the
child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dug you shall sooner be heard of your children then either the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam and so all other after him haue bene a meane of falling to their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue bene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this all parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer ceasse vntil they see in some measure the beauty of the first Image and the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these do prooue Deut. 4. 9. and 11. 18. 19. Ephes. 6. 4. Psal. 78. 5. And because this duty of parents is many times committed to Schoolemaisters to Maisters of families to Dames to Patrons and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the Almighty to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to be eschued are these First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they be not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a duty and therefore they must indcuour to get so much nurture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelyhood and necessaries for their children they care for no more The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate and drinke enough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly-beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may lose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to hold them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and well disposed to traine vp youth in all good nurture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so often as conueniently they may repaire vnto them and see how they profit and hold them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to be good vnto them in this chiefe point aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue so we may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckoning of their seruants then they do of their bruit beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God because they are contrary to good nurture and godly instruction Parents must be very carefull that their children may learne some occupation or profession of life and this is either mechanical which we call handicraft or liberall which is the learning of schooles and the end of this is either to get their liuing honestly and in Gods ordinance or else if they want no maintenance to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth No childe of what birth or stocke soeuer he be ought to want this instruction and bringing vp If thou say my childe hath no neede of any trade yet the Common-wealth and Gods Church hath need of him for no man is borne for himselfe but his friends will require one part his kindred another and his countrie the third And if handicrafts like thee not thou hast the liberall Sciences of which no man euer was yet ashamed but many haue made them their crowne of glorie Saul was annointed King while he was seeking his fathers Asses and Dauid was taken from the sheepefold to feede with his wisedome and gouerne with prudence that honourable people the children of Israel And againe we reade that those two famous Prophets Elisha and Amos the one was called from the plough and the other from keeping of beasts which examples do plainly teach vs that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life be it neuer so meane but crowneth it with his blessing to draw all good minds to his holy ordinance But now adayes such is the pride of our hearts a thing to be lamented through all our land that many gentlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade Oh it is too base and beggarly for them they must liue of their lands they must maintaine their gentrie a small learning will serue their turne but in the meane while this ordinance of God is neglected what misery from hence ensueth Who are the wasters of patrimonies Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common-wealth Who are the deflowrers of maidens Who are the defilers of 〈◊〉 Who are the corrupters of youth and to speake in one word who are the seedes-men of all mischiefe in our country but these children of Gentlemen who haue not bene taught and trained vp in learning or some occupation while they were young For euen as a weed if it grow in a ranke soyle will waxe out of measure noysome so these children coming of honourable and worshipfull parents brought vp in ease and pampered with the delights of gentrie they waxe immeasurably vicious and who may keepe them vnder neither lawes nor Magistrates not any other good meane First parents must teach their children to vse faire speech not onely towards themselues but also towards others and to call their betters by a reuerent and honourable name 1. Sam. 25. 24. Marke 10. 17. Prou. 16. 24. Secondly to speake modestly and humbly of themselues this point of good manners they may learne of that wise matron Abigail in 1. Sam. 25. 41. where we reade that
when she was sent for of Dauid to be his wife she first bowed her selfe to the seruants and then made this lowly answer to him that brought the message Behold let thine handmaid be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord. Thirdly to admonish them louingly to salute their friends and acquaintance and generally all others whom they take to be Christians and brethren which consisteth in praying well to others wishing health prosperitie vnto them Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King 1. 17. Fourthly to put them in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they haue receiued it with giuing of thanks Fiftly to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed with humble crauing of pardon An example hereof they may haue in that vertuous and faire spoken matron Abigail as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25. 23. c. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw vpon them by the neglect of this duty and might preuent it and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others by meanes of it as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding of innocent blood saued her owne life with the liues of her familie and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter Againe parents must teach their children good manners and ciuill behauiour to rise vp to their betters to vncouer the head to make obeysance to be curteous towards their equals to be gentle and louely to their inferiours and louing and kind to all this is no lesse needfull for youth then their meate and their drinke Also to admonish them to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them Iob 32. 45. That they keepe silence while their betters are in place vntill they be spoken vnto and then they must make answer in few words without vnnecessary circumstances and directly vnto the matter And they may not be loud babling or hote in speech but cold and milde Prouerbes 17. Warne them that they do not interrupt or trouble others whiles they are in speaking Prou. 19. 20. Wherfore if children will keepe the bounds of good manners they must not be streperous or troublesome in talke but they must obserue and take their due time and course And if there be any thing spoken vnto which they would willingly make answer they must either curteously craue leaue of him that speaketh or else they must carrie it in remembrance vntill their turne cometh to speake which is the better of the twaine And further they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others and suffer others to speake by them for there is a time to keepe silence and so to heare others speaking for he that will haue all the talke passeth the bounds of good manners Moreouer parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gestures to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others which consisteth in these points 1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham Genes 18. 2. where it is said And he lifted vp his eyes and looked and lo three men stood by him and when he saw them he ranne to meete them from the tent doore Againe another example they may haue in king Salomon sitting vpon his regall Throne 1. King 2. 19. Bethsheba therefore went to King Salomon to speake vnto him for Adoniah and the King rose to meete her 2. The second is to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them And this is taught Leuiticus 19. 23. Thou shalt rise vp before the hoar-head and houour the person of the old man and dread thy God I am the Lord. But here we must warne you of a great abuse which for the most part is cōmitted in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neither you your selues neither your children nor seruants do know the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the Church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion Is this deuotion becomming Gods house Is not this all one as if a man should say Stay God here comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must do my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till he be past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God This doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then of God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answer him for it Is there no time to shew our duty towards men but euen then when we are about Gods seruice Why know you when man standeth before God how honourable soeuer he be he is but dung and filth and not to be regarded in comparison of him And let parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to rob God of his worship but there is an appointed time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter well admonisheth To all things there is an appointed time and a time to euery purpose vnder heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33. 9. that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knew he his brethren nor his owne children Euen so beloued our eyes and our minds and deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when we are in his seruice that we should not see nor regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second Chapter of the Gospell after Saint Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull child that euer was borne of woman yet when he was about his fathers businesse he said vnto his mother Woman what haue I to do with thee Which examples will teach vs that when we are about Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to be obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place Example of this we haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the three strangers as it is written Geneses 18. 8. And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which he had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eate Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. The fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this 1. King 2. 19. 5. The fift thing is that they giue
the chiefe place to their betters and to offer the same to others in courtesie 1. King 2. 19. Luk. 14. 8. 9. 10. Prou. 15. 33. and 16. 18. 6. Their last dutie is to vncouer their head And though we finde no example for this in holy Scripture as being not vsed in those former times yet seeing the thing is ciuill and comely and one of the speciall courtesies of our dayes we will confirme it also with the authoritie of Gods word Philippians 4. 1. Whatsoeuer things are honest whatsoeuer things are of good report those things do And againe 1. Corin. 14. 40. Let all things be done decently and according to order Now this kind of ciuilitie is both decent and according to order as also honest and of good report and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word and so worthie to be followed Therefore if our children be not thus trayned vp in nurture while they be young when they be old they shall be found so head-strong that they will not be gouerned but this consequent must needs follow that all order shall be taken away then confusion must needs ensue For if nurture be neglected then our elders and gouernours shall not be reuerenced if they be not reuerenced they will not be regarded if they be not regarded they will not be obeyed and if they be not obeyed then steps in rebellion and euery one will do what he listeth These vices and great abuses are to be reformed and with speed amended not onely of many parents and maisters themselues but also they must labour with all diligence that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants First the grosse ignorance in the groundes of Christian religion which yet remaineth in any parents maisters and their families who giue themselues to sleep in the Church to talke one with another to turne ouer their bookes there and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or prayers in the time of publike preaching and prayer all which no doubt are grieuous sinnes and transgressions and besides many absent themselues from holy exercises and especially vpon the Lords day then lying in their beds haunting of ale-houses and tauernes ryding and going abroad about their worldly affaires for pleasure and profit being also weary whilst they be present at prayers and preaching seldome do they preuent or come before prayers Nay many come in the midst thereof to the great disturbance of the same and others that are there and some againe before the Sermons are ended other some after the prayers made and before the singing of the Psalmes and the vsuall blessing to be pronounced depart thence whereof they as well as those that tarrie should be partakers posting also out of the Church as it were from a play or may-game as though they supposed that no more reuerence should be shewed there then in other places or that some part of diuine Seruice belonged vnto them and not vnto other some whereas in very truth euery one ought to be alike partakers of the whole And how should we look for any goodnesse from God where this that is the seed of all sin and the nurse of all abhominations reigneth and swayeth so much Let such as are fathers and mothers and haue children know in what sort they must be carefull for them Their children are the good blessings of God they be members of the body of Christ and the sonnes of God The kingdome of heauen belongeth to them God hath appointed his Angels to guide and leade them and to shield them from euill and their Angels be in the presence of God and do behold the face of their Father which is in heauen They be fresh plants of the Church Who knoweth what necessary instruments they may be in the house of God It is not enough to seed them to cloath them and to nourish their bodies with necessary sustenance For the heathen do this which know not God and the sauage and bruite beasts and the birds which haue no vnderstanding they breed vp their yong ones and are tender and painfull to prouide for them The Asse though she be dull the Beare and Lyon though they be wilde and cruell yet seeke they farre and neare to get where with to helpe their young Therefore if there be any or can be any which doth forsake and leaue his owne he is more beastly then the foolish Asse and more vnnaturall then most cruell Beares and Lyons and Tygers But in this behalfe men are for the most part ouer-carefull For this cause many build their houses with bloud and seeke possessions by iniquitie they ioyne house to house and field to field and will dwell alone vpon the earth they oppresse the poore and needie and do wrong to the widdow and the fatherlesse they make money their idoll and spoile one another and all to prouide for their children This is the couer and cloake for all their mischiefes they may not leaue their children vnprouided for Vnhappy are such fathers which in this sort care for their children by the ruine and spoile of the needie and innocent and so breake the Commandements of God because their portion shall be with the wicked in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone And vnhappie are their children because they are partakers of their fathers wickednesse and therefore shall also be partakers of punishment with them The Prophet Dauid saith I haue seene the wicked strong and spreading himselfe like a greene Bay-tree yet he passed away and lo he was gone and I sought him but he could not be found His roote was deepe his stocke strong his branches broade he spread ouer and shadowed the whole countrie yet he passed away he departed his sonnes died his house soone decayed and his name was in little time quite forgotten Oh how much better then is it to furnish the minds of our children and to instruct them in godlines to teach them to know God to leade their life vettuously and to rebuke them and chastise them for ill doing The beginning of wisedome is the feare of God Let them then learne what that good and acceptable will of God is Shew them the way in which they should walke that they go neither to the right hand nor to the left The word of God is pure and giueth vnderstanding to the simple it is a light to their foote-steps it teacheth those that are yong to amend their waies For children by nature are darknesse and cannot see except they be enlightened with Gods word And therefore Salomon sayeth Catechise a child in his youth and he will remember it when he is old This is a right blessing which fathers and mothers giue to their children when they cause God to blesse them too When Christ came into Ierusalem the yong children receiued him They cried Osanna to the sonne of Dauid Blessed is he that commeth in the Name of the Lord. Christ giueth witnesse of them By
the mouthes of babes and sucklings hast thou set foorth thy praise The words of the little and simple children were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharises Thus were they taught from their cradle so carefull were their godly parents ouer them Contrariwise they cannot haue any wisedome that despise the way of the Lord. They become blinde and wicked and abhominable in all their wayes They haue no sense nor feeling of the will of God They cannot know light from darknesse nor God from Belial Such were the childrē that derided Elisha as also Absolon whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition that he went about to despose his father from his kingdome So also his brother 〈◊〉 vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid Another care which a father ought to haue of his children is to traine them vp in the study of vertue and of a godly life Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God They which keepe not this way are the children of wrath Herein standeth the whole profession of a Christian life For God hath not called vs to vncleannesse but vnto holinesse This is the will of God and this is out promise made vnto him that we serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse all the dayes of our life that we increase in vertue and grow from grace to grace A wise and louing father which sendeth his sonne on a dangerous iourney either by sea or land first instructeth him with aduise and telleth him in what sort he shall auoide perils Take heed saith he the way is dangerous which thou must passe The sea is terrible the waues rise vp as high as heauen and by and by thou shalt see a pit as low as hell The sands may swallow thee the rocks may destroy thee Thou shalt passe by huge mountaines and through a wildernesse where theeues will assault thee Thy heart will quake Thou shaltcrie for succour and find no man to helpe thee In these and these places hath many a good mans child bene cast away Oh take 〈◊〉 my sonne thou art the 〈◊〉 and comfort of mine age if ought come to thee otherwise then well I shall soone end my dayes in sorrow If a father be thus carefull that his child should escape worldly dangers he must also be carefull of spirituall dangers in which whosoeuer is lost is lost for euer Therefore thus or to this effect may he say to him Oh my sonne vnderstand what God hath done for thy sake Take heed to thy selfe The world is all ouer-strewed with snares The diuell runneth and seeketh whom he may deuoure Giue not ground to him but resist him and he will flie from thee Be strong in faith The Name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence Call vpon him in the day of thy trouble and he will deliuer thee He will giue thee of his spirit Take heed my sonne and be not deceiued let no wilfulnesse cast thee away If sinners entice thee be not a companion with them in wickednesse Fashion not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world for the world passeth away and the lust thereof He that loueth this world the loue of God is not in him Be not like vnto them that perish Thou wast conceiued and borne in sinne Thou art by nature the child of wrath but God made thee meete to be partaker of the inheritance of the Saintes in light and hath deliuered thee from the power of darknesse and hath translated thee into the kingdome of his deare sonne Receiue not this grace in vaine but cast away the works of darknesse and put on the armour of light Be renewed in thy heart and in thy spirit that it may appeare I haue bene carefull for thee Thus a carefull father seeketh to traine vp his sonne to nurture him Now there be some necessaire meanes and helpes whereby godly parents may the more effectually and vertuously bring vp their children according to the directions before spoken of as these First not to suffer their children and youth to haue their owne will For Salomon saith Prou. 11. 20. They that are of afroward heart are abhominable vnto the Lord. And againe in the 29. Chap. verse 15. A child set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed But what will some be readie to answer in this case Oh he may be broken of that time enough afterwards But what saith the wiseman Ecclesiastic 25. 27. Giue no passage to the waters no not a little The heart of child is as the violent waters And as those which haue experience in keeping and repairing the sea bankes can easily tell vs that if the raging waues should be suffered to breake ouer but one tide they should hardly in many dayes recouer it againe so if thou sufferest thy childs affections to haue the full swinge and course yea but a small season thou shalt hardly or neuer againe winne this breach 2. The second meanes is moderation in diet not to pamper children with too much meate or that which is delicate but to giue them that which is wholesome and sufficient and no more For excesse breedeth disease both in body and mind maketh them gluttons and drunkards consumers of patrimonie and this vice draweth a thousand more with it and euen as the fattest soile bringeth forth the rankest weeds so pampered children brought vp without due gouernment and discipline thrust foorth the greatest and most ouergrowne vices 3. The third helpe is not to cloath them with costly apparell or to attire them with new fashions For this againe is contrarie to the nature of paines and labour and stirreth vp pride For euen as soft flaxe is soone on fire so youthfull nature will soone be inflamed with this vice as lamentable experience too much teacheth at this day For from whence commeth this disguised and monstrous apparell but from wanton and dissolute education of youth This is the speciall sinne of England and if any thing be the ouerthrow of it which God for his mercy turne away it will be this the land is too heauie of this sinne For the pride of all nations and the follies of all countries are vpon vs how should we long beare them How art thou fallen from heauen ô Lucifer sonne of the morning And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice that I will visit the Princes and the Kings children and all such as are cloathed with strange apparell 4. The fourth helpe is reprehension or chiding And this is taught Prou. 19. 15. The rod and correction giue wisedome Where by the rod is vnderstood chastisement and by correction is vnderstood chiding or reprehension The want of this helpe was the vtter spoile and vndoing of Adonyah as may be seene 1. King 1. 2. Chapters And here we cannot but iustly find fault with most parents who though they be somewhat carefull for their children while they be
tender yet when they be come to some years of discretion as to fifteene or sixteene which time is most fit for reprehension because then by all reason it should soonest enter and which time againe is most dangerous be cause then our affections are most strong in vs oh then they be growne to mens and womens eftate they may not be reprehended they may not be disgraced But know thou oh wise parent that so long as thou hast a child so long thou art a parent and so long as thou art a father so long thou must carry a fatherly authoritie and power ouer him 5. The fift helpe is chastisement and it may well be called a helpe because where reprehension will not serue that must helpe and this must be vsed in order and method as the skilfull Physition will not giue his strong and bitter pill before his preparatiue lest the working of it should be hindred by the stubburne and indurate obstructions so the wise parent in curing his sonnes vices must not strike before he hath reprehended or preadmonished lest either he be too much caft downe and discouraged or waxe obstinate This kind of physicke as it is more strong then the former so it hath a more forcible and excellent working For great is the godlinesse in that seueritie by which the power of sinning is taken away And againe Salomon in the 22. of the Prouerbes verse 15. saith more worthily Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall driue it away And againe in the 13. Chapter verse 24. He which spareth the rod hateth his sonne that is he is an enemie vnto him Wherefore know thou this ô thou father that when thou feest thy sonne dangerously sicke with the disease of sinne and doest not vse this helpe or remedie which God in his holy word hath prescribed vnto thee thou art accessarie to thy childs death as an enemie and his bloud shall be required at thy hands because where thou mightest haue saued him thou hast wilfully cast him away For Gods loue good parents looke to your children Oh that parents had lesse carnall affection and more wisedome for euery parent is blind in his owne children Oh is it not a pitifull thing that parents should themselues make graues for their owne children and burie them quicke without all compassion and thinke they do well in it And is it not a follie aboue all follies that while the parent layeth his hand vpon his childs mouth to keepe away the cold winde he presseth it downe so hard that he strangleth him there-with Thus many a father and mother in the world haue killed their deare ones by their inordinate loue and cockering of them and thus many poore infant must still be murthered because parents will not be warned Parents are bound by the law of nature to loue their children for what a crueltie were it not to loue them that they haue begotten and borne But yet wisedome requireth that they some what dissemble and hide their loue specially to those children that be of some reasonable discretion lest they should take boldnesse thereupon to do what they list For if we well consider of mans nature that it is euill euen from his birth we shall then find the young child which ly eth in the cradle to be both way-ward and full of affections and though his bodie be but small yet he hath a great heart and is altogether inclined to euill and the more he waxeth in reason by yeares the more he groweth proud froward wilfull vnrulie and disobedient If this sparkle be suffered to increase it will rage ouer and burne downe the whole house For we are changed and become good not by birth but by education For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things euen so hath education greater vertue and strength yea and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp of their children Therefore parents must be warie and circumspect that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deeds of their children done lewdly vnhonestly naughtily wantonly or shamefully not to kisse and commend them for so doing For children will commonly accustome themselues vnto such things as they shall see and perceiue to be pleasing and delightfull to their father and mother Therefore they must correct and sharpely reproue their children for saying or doing ill and make it knowne vnto them that they be neither well pleased nor contented with their so doing but that it greatly disliketh them And againe on the other side let them kisse and make much of them whensoeuer they shall see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children that there is more need in these dayes to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much then to perswade them to loue them For Dauids darling was Dauids traytor And this is the manner of God and his iust iudgement that when any father or mother begins as it were to set their child or any thing else in the roome of God and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it either to take away the childe or the thing or else to take away the parents before they prouoke him too much For as the Ape doth with too much embracing well-neare kill her young whelpes so likewise some vndiscreet parents through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing do vtterly spoile and marre their children Therefore if parents would haue their children liue they must take heed that they loue them not too much for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he We may see by experience how that many children of good wit 〈◊〉 towardnesse are marred and spoyled for want of good education and so get those vices from their tender yeares which all their life after do for the most part accompany them For when parents do either too much cocker their children or by their leud example allure to naughtinesse or neglect due instruction what other thing I pray you can come to passe then which we see in trees which from the beginning being neglected become crooked vnfruitful Contrariwise they that are pruned erected ordered and watered with the hand and cunning of the husbandman are made straight fertile and fruitfull So the manner of life education and custome are of great importance to moue to vertue What a great folly is it in parents to toyle themselues and be occupied in getting riches and to be nothing carefull for their children for whose sake riches are gotten Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage be left vnto children then if they be well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie This patrimony remaineth with them continually nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune But we
prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such fathers and mothers as consume and wast away their money and substance vnthriftily by dycing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should be maintained do very vnnaturally sin and breake Gods Commandements The Wiseman sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruite of life and make them alwayes readie to die saying Eccles. 12. 1. Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth As if he should say Be mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or deferre it vntill age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it arose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very wary and carefull that their sonnes and daughters do not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyde of true religion Which if they do they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is and how nigh a coniunction the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones So that we may not imagine that that God which required so neare a coniunction in the outward and inferiour part will suffer the minde and spirit of the husband and wife betweene faith and superstition to be rent asunder Therefore when God said They shall be two in one flesh we may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should be of two one or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnitie and called them Adam Genesis 5. 2. so he gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in minde and spirit and called the one man and the other woman Genesis 2. 22. 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge For this cause shall a man leaue his father and his mother and shall cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and bloud should haue found a dispensation from the Law that bindeth minde and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20. 12. The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife is commended to vs by that most holy coniunction of Christ with his Church Ephes. 5. 2. Seeing that this is a coniunction both of bodie and soule then such as are Christian parents ought to be carefull that their children may reioyce in it howsoeuer it liketh others to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may be to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ. S. Paul giueth this generall rule to all that wil marrie that they marrie onely in the Lord and to marrie only in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and bloud with fauour credite honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true Christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal mariages haue brought forth from the beginning The sonnes of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in a strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse Law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 7. 2. 3. 4. Exod. 34. 16. Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kings 11. 2. Ezra 9. 1. 2. c. and 10. 18. 19. Reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibition serueth not now 〈◊〉 ys as touching Pagans Turks or Infidels but rather we must assure our seiues in the truth and know that no people in the world are more within the compasse of this law then the Papists and superstitious idolaters The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters and such as are of a strange religion and how can he then permit that we should marrie with them He commandeth streightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6. 14. which to do is as vnseemely as an Oxe and an Asse to be yoked together to plough Deut. 22. 10. And how can we possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a liuely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12. 1. But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists we then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can be a sweete smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthening and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded and setled therein that they cannot be remoued drawne from their sound profession yet they must beware that they do not tempt God and venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made a Iudge of Israel a deliuerer of Gods Church and a reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marry one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing-stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudges the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16. 4. 17. 18. c. Salomon was a
keepe them vnder a seruile or slauish awe subiection by too much feare but rather be a child-like and reuerend feare which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes and children vnto their parents and which both the one and the other easily obtaine at the hands of such as are vnder their gouernment by their equall vpright and modetate behauiour towards them It doth therefore stand parents greatly in hand that in making choise for their children they be free from all sinister and corrupt affection and that for luker and couetousnesse they seeke not to thrust such matches vpon their children as they cannot brooke nor like well of Yea and in this most graue and weightie cause it is a thing earnestly to be wished that all Christian parents would not take this matter and businesse lightly in hand as it were but a toy or a ieast but that they begin it with prayer that in the whole action they may in such sort be directed that they do nothing against the word of God or vnbeseeming the same authoritie the which God himselfe in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them And thus doing God no doubt will adde a blessing vnto their godly endeuour and holy care and worke obedience in the hearts of their children as he framed the heart of Isaack with entire affection to embrace Rebecca whom his father Abraham had by his steward prouided for him Gen. 27. 7. c. The third point that appertaineth to parents is to be themselues examples of all godlinesse and vertuousneste to their children So that they must remember that they themselues do not say or do any thing that is euill or offensiue in the presence of their children For it is certaine that children follow and learne nothing so much and so soone as that which they see their father and mother do or say For the vertue thriuing and prosperitie of children is for the most part wrought by the fathers and mothers good examples and instructions and contrariwise for that which is done by examples the inferiours will thinke they may lawfully do the like As good examples do edifie and vphold so ill examples do destroy and confound For humanity is taught by the law of nature If therefore parents by their example should teach the contrarie what do they else but indeuour to transforme men into beasts beginning first to performe it in their owne children They must be circumspect that their children do not fight and iniurie one another and if they sweare curse lye or speake any bawdie or ribaldous words or sing any 〈◊〉 rimes or vnchristian songs then to reprooue them sharply for it And let all parents alwayes labour that their children may rather feare them for loue and reuerence then for fearé of punishment For children that obey their parents for feare of correction commonly feare them no longer then the stripes endure Before all things it is needfull that parents should shew themselues vnto their children as a manifest patterne or example not onely by not sinning and offending God any wayes but also by liuing godly and by doing all things honestly that so their children may look into their liues and peruse themselues as in a glasse And therefore if parents do giue good examples they shall reape the fruite thereof in the life behauiour manners and prosperitie of their children For children loue and delight to do as their parents did before them All Christian fathers ought to be most carefull in nourishing and maintaining naturall loue and concord amongst the children and family and in no wise to suffer any sparke of hatred to enter into their hearts lest it kindle a fire in their breasts much lesse ought they themselues to cast in coales of discord among them by vnkind or iniurious examples of dealing For the state of a family if it be in due order is like to a frame of ioyning worke or building whereof if some one peece be out of his place it tendeth to the disordering of all the rest and one disorder following another all becommeth out of ioynt and falleth into confusion very dispraiseable So that parents therefore ought to be carefull to maintaine their children in peace concord and amitie for if discord and contention be dangerous and pernicious among all men how much more betweene brethren and sisters Likewise if it be hard quenching of stomacke and debate betweene those that are not enioyned in kindred it is farre more difficult to revnite brethren because enmitie amongst them is mightie and strong like iron-barres to keepe them asunder Neither is there any thing more slipperie or of greater efficacie to subuert a family then dissention among brethren It is an old saying by concord small things do grow but by discord great things come to nought Againe how dangerous it is for parents to shew more loue and affection to one child then to another except vpon iust and great cause the example of lacobs children doth testifie For what was the originall of their enuie and crueltie executed against their brother Ioseph Geneses 37. 3. Moses there saith that Iacob louing Ioseph better then his brethren made him a partie-coloured-coate and thereof they tooke occasion to hate him and to speake roughly vnto him Parents therefore to the end to preuent the like inconueniences are to vse equalitie among their children so neare as may be whether in their ordinary vsage or in the diuision of their goods For as all men naturally are inclined but too much to the loue of earthly goods so the vnequall sharing and diuiding of the same doth oftentimes breede great brawles and pernicious debate betweene brethren and sisters Therefore all fathers and mothers are with great diligence to take heede what they say or do in their houses and that they do not commit any leude or wicked deed whereby their children may be moued to imitate and follow the same neither that they vtter or speake any bawdy or ribaldous words or vse to sweare or lie in their presence for euill speakings or communication saith the Apostle corrupteth good manners Seruants also are to be looked vnto and sharply rebuked if they do commit or shew any leud trickes or vnhonest behauiour in the presence of children either in word deede or gesture For if they be iustly called murtherers that kill the children being new-borne and kill but the bodie how great wickednesse is it then to kill the mindes of children through euill example Deserue not such seruants seuerely to be punished by law thinke you that bewitch young children and hurt their weake bodies with poysons What then do they deserue which corrupt the chiefe parts of Infants with most vngracious venime we meane by filthy talke and leude conuersation of life Yet it is a lighter matter to kill the bodie then the mind and soule Further parents ought to be circumspect and warie that their children do not haunt or vse euill companie nor vse
any vnhonest pastime For if it be so that a father will not suffer his childe to come into a place where he may be in danger to take hurt of his body either by infection of the plague or otherwise how much more is he bound to with-hold and keepe his childe from comming there where he should hurt and poyson his soule The fourth and last point is that parents do with all care and diligence keepe their children from all lazie idlenesse a vice no doubt out of which do spring many inconuehiences and is condemned by the holy Ghost in many places of Scripture whereby God declareth that he created no man in vaine or to no purpose neither is there any man vnto whom he hath not allotted as it were a certaine standing and roome and a lawfull calling to walke in Whereupon it followeth that the order which God hath appointed is troubled by such as liue idlely yea Gods ordinance is broken which is a great sinne and wickednesse So then by the word of God none ought to liue idlely and to neglect his charge and dutie but ought to giue himselfe to some profitable calling to get his liuing by and to do good to others Although fathers prouide for their children great store of money and huge heapes of treasure yet in three 〈◊〉 foure houres all may be wasted and come to nought For much euill commeth through idlenesse it is an euill teacher he that doth nothing is ill occupied The mind of man is euer stirring and doing somewhat if it be not doing well it is doing ill As water though it be neuer so cleare and faire fresh and comfortable yet if it stand still in a pit or hole or be kept long in a vessell whence it hath no issue it will putrifie and corrupt rot and smell and he vnwholsome Euen so fareth it with children yea and with all the sonnes of Adam if they haue nothing to do no way to bestow their wits they will rot proue vnwholesome and deuise mischiefe all the day long For as labour and exercise of body of one man industrie and diligence of mind in another man are sure forts and strong bulwarkes of countreys euen so idlenesse and negligence are the cause of all euill for an idle mans braine becometh quickly the shop of the diuell And as in all things naturall there is one thing or other which is the spoile of it as the Canker to the rose the Worme to the apple and the Caterpillar to the leafe so the common spoile to all youth is the contrary to paines labour which is idlenesse Therefore is idlenesse worthily called the mother of all euils and step dame of all vertues The Prophet Ezechiel in his sixteenth Chapter verse forty nine teacheth that idlenesse was one of the principall sins of Sodome which pulled downe fire and brimstone from heauen vpon their heads This idlenesse is the diuels confederate for euen as the traiterous seruant while his maister is a sleepe and all thing at rest setteth open the doore for the thiefe to enter in vpon him and spoile him at his pleasure euen so idlenesse while we are not aware lying soft vpon the pillowes of securitie openeth the doore for the diuell to enter into vs with full swing to the destruction both of body and soule Saint Mathew saith Chapter thirteene verse twenty fiue that while men slept the enemie came and sowed 〈◊〉 among the wheate So the fittest time that the diuell can find to worke vppon vs is when we are idle for that is the sleepe of the soule In the eleuenth Chapter of the second of Samuel we reade that while Dauid tarried idle at home in the beginning of the yeare when kings vsed to go forth to battell he was soone ouertaken with two fowle sinnes of adultery and manflaughter Oh that men saw to how many vices and euils they shut the doore when they ceasse to be idle and giue themselues to honest labours and 〈◊〉 lawfull calling So long as Sampson Iudg. 19. warred with the Philistines he could neuer be taken or ouercome but after that he gaue himselfe to idlenesse and pleasure he not onely committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah but also was taken of his enemies and had his eyes miserably put out If those two which were such excellent men endued of God with singular gifts the one of prophesie and the other of strength and such as no labour or trouble could ouercome were notwithstanding ouerthrowne fell into grieuous sinnes by yeelding for a short time to ease then what crimes what mischiefes and inconueniences are to be feared of them who all their life long giue themselues to idlenesse and loytering But such hath alwayes bene the peruerse incredulitie of mens hearts that they will not beleeue that other men haue perished vntil they themselues perish also If we be vtterly voyde of vnderstanding let vs go to the bruite creatures which want those helps of reason and gouernment that man hath and learne of them Go to the Pismire ô sluggard saith Salamon Prou. 6. 6. behold her wayes and be wise For she hauing no guide nor ruler prepareth her meate in sommer and gathereth her foode in the haruest What is it that filleth the prisons and bringeth so many to the gallowes causeth so many parents to lament and bewaile the vntimely death of their children but idlenesse When the poore condemned wretches haue receiued their iudgements and come to the place of execution and stand on the ladder what counsell giue they to young men and to children but to beware of idlenesse What is the cause of such and so many diseases in the body Aske the Physitians and they will tell you idlenesse Whereof rise rebellions in kingdomes against Princes Whereof rise mutinies and mutterings in Cities against Magistrates You can giue no greater cause thereof then idlenesse Christ our Redeemer saith Of euery idle word that is vaine and vnprofitable trifles which the most part of people spend their liues in that men shall speake they shall giue account thereof at the day of iudgement If we shall make an account for idle words what shall we do for idle hands for idle feete for idle body for idle soule What account for all idlenesse especially for wicked deeds shall we make at the day of iudgment Seeing then that idlenesse is so noysome and hurtfull let all Christian parents therefore labour and endeuour to auoyd it both in themselues and their children as a plague or contagious disease Therefore it is most requisite and necessary that parents do bring vp their children either in learning or in some occupation and handycraft whereby they may get their liuing another day and so liue the better But some vnaduisedly and foolishly do reason saying what need is it for noble and rich mens children to haue learning they shall haue enough We answer the greater the ship is and the more
merchandise it carrieth about the more need it hath of a cunning ship-maister So the greater the childe is both by birth and by inheritance so much the more neede is it for him to be brought vp in learning and in good literature For learning knowledge and vnderstanding is profitable both for rich and poore so that as the Grecians say he that is ignorant and vnlearned seeth nothing although he haue eyes The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite a day without Sunne a night without Moone or Starres a house without a man and an head without a bodie It is found by experience which is the best Schoole-maister that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberall Sciences so much the more sooner shall be learne his occupation and the more ready and handsomer shall he be about the same And besides all this he that hath learning although it be but small shall much better vnderstand the Preachers and take more profit by hearing of them to his great and endlesse comfort then he that hath no learning Experience also teacheth vs this that goods riches beauty glory and health be vnstable and fade perish passe away come and go but learning and vertue neuer stagger alway be constant Therefore of all the charges that parents be at about their children that mony is best bestowed that is laid out vpon learning especially when they are taught to know God aright and how he will be serued It is a lamentable thing to consider how carelesse some parents are of their children when they put them to the schoole in that they make small account and reckoning to what schoole-maister they put their children to learne so they may haue them taught for little or no cost though their children profit little or nothing in learning so that oftentimes they not onely bestow their money in vaine but also they suffer their children to loose their time which is a thing so precious as it cannot be redeemed with any money and so let them spend two or three yeares in learning that which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilfull schoole-maister learne in lesse then halfe this time if there be any aptnesse and towardnesse in the children Therefore let parents remember that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne vnlesse there be a meete husband-man to till and sow the same so likewise it is not enough to find good towardnesse in your children vnlesse you prouide a meete and fit Schoole-maister to further the same And as Noblemen and Gentlemen are desirous to haue a good and skilfull horse-keeper that can keepe their horses well and they spare not to giue stipends to such euen so much more ought Christian parents to be desirous to haue and maintaine a good Schoolemaister that might bring vp their children in vertue wisedome and good learning And like as if their horle be not well broken or haue any 〈◊〉 qualitie they will be carefull to see it remedied and that he may be made tractable and gentle so likewise godly parents ought to be much more carefull not onely that their children may by instruction be brought to some good order but also to looke that there be no fault in the teacher to whom they commit the care to bring them vp in learning and good manners But alas and with griefe be it spoken many men now a daies albe it they perceiue their children to be toward and apt vnto letters and capable to receiue good learning hauing wealth and riches enough to maintaine them thereat yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat vntill they come to any good perfection some because they themselues do not like of our state religion othersome because they see little preferment and no worldly aduantage to follow learning but great trouble and affliction all which men in this doing declare themselues to be irreligious vngodly and destroyers both of themselues their children and of all Common-wealths and congregations For what publicke wealth Towne Citie or Parish can be well gouerned except the Prince Magistrate or Preacher be learned both in humane and diuine lawes In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion at which time men saw so many spirituall promotions as they then called them vnto rich Bishoprickes Abbies Priories Deaneries Benefices c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sort to the end they might get them to be Priests and so to say Masse and the rest of that idolatrous seruice that so they might liue in ease and idlenesse But now that they see how painfull and perillous a charge it is to preach and rightly to diuide Gods word and to deliuer the same freely and faithfully and also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is to gouerne well a congregation they had rather their children should be bound prentises to some trade or else follow any other profession then that they should study Diuinitie When children were nothing apt to good learning and when there was no good learning to be had no nor good teachers yet then well was he that might set his child to Schoole But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning as it is at this day and learning and all good meanes neuer so plenteously flourishing being restored and reduced into such a facilitie and a compendious briefenesse yea neuer so good learned and skilfull schoole-maisters neuer such plentie of so good and plaine books printed neuer so good cheape the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts as it were into the mouthes of all men few there be that will open their mouthes to receiue them their eyes to see the cleare light nor yet their eares to heare so pure manifest and wholesome and heauenly doctrine euen the word of God the meanes of our saluation It is therefore to be feared that for this our great vnthankfulnesse these so manifold heauenly blessings shall be taken from vs and giuen to some other nation that will both be more thankfull for them and also shew forth better fruites of Christianitie then we hitherto haue done Oh therefore that parents would aduisedly consider that the want of this Christian dutie of the good education of their children is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much miserie both vpon children and themselues yea in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow griefe and shame befalleth many times vpon the fathers and mothers And how cometh this to passe that the parents owne dung is cast in their faces by their owne children in mocking and despising of them and whence arise all these inconueniences before named together with all these grieuous plagues and iudgements of God vpon their children to the consuming of their eyes but from this their owne negligence in bringing vp their children For it is
euen iust with God that seeing they haue offended him in the greatest blessings they should be plagued with the same thing wherein they offended him in the greatest iudgements O you vnnaturall parents the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you in the day of iudgement and condemne you for he being in hell had a care of his fathers house that they might be forewarned and therefore desired Abraham to send Lazarus to his brethren to testifie vnto them that they came not into that place of torment but you will not admonish your children you will not teach them Moses the Prophets and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure hanging ouer their heads and therefore your owne children shall be one of the furies of hell to torment you The Lord open your eyes to foresee and flie these fearefull iudgements But if you will bring them vp well and vertuously they shall be the better for it all their liues after nay the world to come shall reape this benefit for such children as you now bring-vp such parents shall they be after when you are gone and looke what parents you leaue behind you the like children againe shall they reare vp Wherefore ô you parents you are either the making or the marring of the world for if your children learne no good education at your hands how should they be good fathers after you and how should they leaue that to their posteritie by the right of inheritance which they neuer receiued from their ancestors To conclude this point we say once againe Oh ye parents endeauour to go forward in this vertuous education of your children and then no doubt God neither shall nor will hide any necessary secret or instruction from you neither will he with-hold any good blessing from your posteritie so shall ye be fathers of the faithfull as Abraham was if you will haue the same care and practise the same diligence for your children and family that he did Genes 18. 18. 19. and 12. 2. 3. Parents also haue to remember that they shall commit an act very vnnaturall iniurious and vngodly if they should vndeseruedly disinherit their eldest sonne For as nature in all her works for the most part seemeth to make some one thing to be chiefe before all the rest whereby the same is and the rather continueth so reason in the order of a family which is an imitation of a state ciuill or body politicke perswadeth by experience that of necessitie there be one before the rest as chiefe whereby may be conserued that beautie of vnitie and harmonie of concord which the Almightie in his creation so wonderfully and diuersly teacheth and our Sauiour himselfe so carefully and especially commended to his Church And therof seemeth to come that preheminence or more speciall regard which the Law of God in the old Testament appointed to his people the Israelites to be obserued towards the first begotten sonne and likewise somewhat concerning other dumbe creatures which first were brought forth into the world By the ancient law of the Iewes the eldest had double so much as the others of the fathers goods and alone to the eldest pertained the blessing of the father wherewith should seeme alwaies the heritage to go and succeed as is manifest by the will of God in Deut. 21. 15. 16. 17. If a man haue two wiues one loued and another hated and they haue borne him children both the loued and also the hated if the first borne be the sonne of the hated then when the time commeth that he appointeth his sonnes to be heires of that which he hath he may not make the sonne of the beloued first borne before the sonne of the hated which is the first borne but he shall acknowledge the sonne of the hated which is the first borne and giue him double portion of all that he hath for he is the first of his strength and to him belongeth the right of the first borne The Patriarkes and other the seruants of God although by diuine reuelation and other notice of the will of God they were certified that they might marrie many of sundry wiues at one time yet did they exclude from their heritage the prerogatiue of the blessing all the children of those secondarie and after marriages This appeareth in Genes 21. 10. The sonne of the bond-woman shall not be heire with my sonne Isaack yet was he the eldest but was not the sonne of the first marriage nor borne of a free-woman Also an heire is the worke and institution of nature and heritage is due to the sonne of nature therefore it is so due that he must needes haue it seeing those things which come by nature or be naturall are not mutable or to be changed Moreouer this name heire which in a manner with all nations is the eldest is the successor of the law nationall besides the lawes naturall and diuine And that father who maketh another heire then is by the Authorities appointed cannot but expresse himselfe a Rebell in disobeying and contemning so great lawes and authorities beginning a new law of his owne head contrary thereunto Then what is more vniust then to do contrary to all lawes and therewith to disobey the will of God to peruert the due order of descent preferring the second marriage before the first the yonger before the elder the late off-spring before the first begotten so much tendred and respected Now as the greatest iniurie a father can do to his sonne is to disherite him so it it the most reprochfull blot or dammage to suffer the infamie and discredit of disherison For if the eldest sonne be worthy to be disherited in his fathers house he may be thought not worrhy to draw breath out of it for that he ought to be conuinced faulty in those crimes and hainous offences which be either repugnant to the duty of a child or not meete for the profession of a Christian. Namely if he strike or offer violence to his father if he oppresse him with some great wrong if he seeke his death or destruction by poysoning or otherwise if he lie with his fathers wife if he will not suffer his father to make his will if he be not of the true and Catholicke faith but is conuinced to be an heriticke whereby his life and heritage is in hazard Or if he refuse to succour and deliuer his father out of prison by his surety-ship or if he follow the trade and companie of such persons as in the law be counted infamous vile and most dishonest as Iuglers Sorcerers Coniurers Theeues Cozeners and Pyrates Or if he be an idiot a mad-man a naturall or lunaticke person Or if the father offering him a meete marriage vnder fiue and twentie yeares he refuse it and delight to liue continually in whoredome and filthy order of life These and such like be the causes that the Ciuill or Ecclesiasticall lawes do assigne The
dutie of Children towards their Parents THis dutie of children as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they obey their parents and do serue them and also do feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their hearts and minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3. Thirdly that they patiently take correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and hearty prayers to God for them 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth AS the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authority of their parents to obey and ferue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and thy mother which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper-hand onely but in this that they loue them with all their hearts that they feare and dread them that they cheerfully do their commandements will and pleasure that they seeke their worship credite profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and that they owe to them euen their owne selues and all that they are able to do yea and more then they are able By this word Honour is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Theu shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to be loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whom next after God they haue their life and being together with so many great and continuall benefits Also the loue that parents do beare to their children besides so many their labours sorrowes troubles and vexations should bind them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heate them that they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones yet the experience and daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot and so take from children their duty to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Christ Iesus said Ye are children of the diuell Ioh. 8. 44. This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely towards such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their maisters euen towards such as be rigorous For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam euen those whom we know not yea out enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents although they should intreat vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deed And verily the principall cause still abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofs and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their child-like affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguisn weeping sorrow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and endure for them This loue must be accompanied with reuerence and respect and to say the truth albeit the name of Father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one Father euen he which is in heauen yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title and Image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon he vnderstanding that his mother Bethshebah was comming to speake with him arole from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and seated her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnesse neither his Royall-estate priuiledge him from this respect and honor due to his mother When the sonne doth execute magistracie or publicke office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a magistrate not as a sonne but when he is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honor or wealth do so despise their parents if they be of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of them So that that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a sonne But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother but said Mother aske and I will not denie thee And this do we the rather note also vpon an other consideration namely that his example condemneth the custome of these dayes wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base and contemptible that the children of Kings Princes yea euen of meane Gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Syr my Lord my Ladie Madame c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implyeth not onely this outward reuerence but also that we should so esteeme of them as that neither we our selues should despise them nor suffer others-to haue them in contempt And this are we to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ I honour my Father but ye dishonour me He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father against the false opinions and slaunders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of them but also will themselues so farre exceed as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lye vncouered called his brethren to shew them
his fathers shame But so odious was this impietie in the sight of God that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost cursed both him and all his 〈◊〉 And therefore we well and truly may say that those children who in stead of defending the honor of their parents do lay them open to shame and reproofe do come of the cursed seed of Ham. This dutie of honouring parents is performed and payed when they do worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them as to thinke that they are giuen to them of God to the end that they should reuerence loue and alwayes haue a care of them if for nothing else yet for the Lords sake who is and doth thinke himselfe despised so long as the children condemne their parents and little regard them So the children honour their parents when with their helpe and counsell they aide them in their old age and vnweildy crookednesse when they ease and helpe them in the time of their need or succour them otherwise in any case else and do wholly bestow themselues and all that they haue to do them good withall yea they ought not to giue them a rough or stubburne answer or once so much as to mumble of 〈◊〉 an answer against their parents neither to smite or curse or speake euill of their father and mother vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same Children ought alwayes to remember that whatsoeuer they do to their fathers and mothers be it good or euill they do it to God when they please them they please God and when they disobey them they disobey God when their parents are iustly angrie with them God is angrie with them neither can it be that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe no although all the Saints in heauen should intreate for them vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother If children and seruants would alwaies keepe in minde this saying so to do and behaue themselues to their parents Maisters and Dames as they would haue their children and seruants to do and behaue themselues to them when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents maisters or dames then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents and maisters and dames more dutifully and faithfully then now they do For let them assure themselues that such measure as they 〈◊〉 mete to their parents maisters and dames such will be measured to them againe by their children and seruants Also the children must be carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers and mothers and to suffer themselues to be gouerned by them and to be mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them And herewithali they must know that they are not at their owne libertie to do as they list so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them and that they must not fall out among themselues but naturally loue and helpe one another And children haue alwayes to remember that they may not in anie case obey their parents when they shall command them to do or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God and yet they are to be thought well of For example Ionathan obeyed not his father Sauls commandement who charged him to persecute Dauid and therefore he is worthilie commended in the holy Scriptures For the duties of the first Table are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second Table This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers ought in very deed to be vnto them as a ladder or staire to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God who is our chiefe Father As children receiue of their parents three things to wit life maintenance and instruction so for these three they owe other three namely for life they owe loue for maintenance they owe obedience for instruction they owe reuerence For their life they must feruently loue their parents for their maintenance they must dutifully obey their parents as maisters and for their instruction they must cheerfully reuerence their parents as their tutors And further children must remember that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents to take of them their beginning of life and that they might nourish and bring them vp and that of rude and almost brutish things they might make them able to helpe and liue of themseluer yea and such mothers as are godly and vertuous do suffer and endure more paine and griefe in the bearing bringing vp and nourishing of their children then the fathers do So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes that Christian parents do for their children greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them and greater is the care griefe and trouble which they take for them then any man how learned soeuer he be is able to expresse And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue to esteeme well to obey to be kind faithfull and dutifull and to reuerence their parents and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the heart yet these were sufficient Maides and young women are to be put in minde and alwayes to remember that the best portion the greatest inheritance and the most precious iewell that they can bring with them on the marriage day is shamefastnesse the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women And therefore they must carefully shun and auoide all idle and wanton talke nice lookes dalliance and light countenance when they walke abroad or be in company A man needeth many things as wisedome eloquence knowledge of things remembrance skill in some trade or craft to liue by iustice courage and other things and qualities moe which were too long to rehearse and though some of these be lacking yet is he not to be misliked so that he haue many of them But in a maid no man will looke for eloquence great wit ordering of the Commonwealth prudence c. Finally no man will looke for any other thing of a woman but her honestie the which onely if it be lacking she is like a man that wanteth all that he should haue For in a maid her honestie and chastitie is in stead of all She verily may truly be said to be an euill keeper that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping and put in trust to her with much commendation of words and especially which no man will take from her against her will nor touch it except she be willing her selfe The which thing onely if a woman remember it will cause her to take great heed vnto and to be a more warie and carefull keeper of her honestie which alone being lost though all other things be neuer so well and safe yet they perish together therewith because she that hath once lost her honestie should thinke there is nothing left Take from a maid or
woman her beautie take from her kindred riches comelinesse eloquence sharpnesse of wit cunning in her craft and giue her chastitie and you haue giuen her all things And on the other side giue her all these things iustly call her whore or naughtie-packe with that one word you haue taken all from her and left her bare and foule How precious a iewell chastitie is may easily be gathered from the example of Dinah the daughter of Leah which she bare vnto Iacob who when he heard that she was 〈◊〉 and defiled by Shechem the sonne of Hamer the Hiuite Lord of that countrie his mind was grieuously wounded with this great shame and reproch Children may not forget this duty for hauing receiued their being from their parents and being brought vp by them with great paines and much cost they should not so much as giue any liking much lesse speech of marriage without the consent of parents or of those which are set ouer them by their parents the duty of thankfulnesse requiring it at their hands And not onely in regard of thankful nesse is this duty to be performed to their parents but euen in regard of their owne inabilitie as being not experienced in such things as their wits being not so ripe as their parents they wanting wisedome and discretion to behaue themselues as they ought For some children know not what is meere and conuenient for them nor whether they be of meete age and condition to marrie Which inhabilitie being in the sonnes is much more in the daughters as being the weaker by nature and more vnable to prouide for themselues and therefore it is necessarie that they should not marrie without the consent and direction of their parents but that they be at their bestowing for to do otherwise is a sinne euen that nature it selfe abhorreth and all sound writers old and new do vtterly disallow And for so much as marriage is the meanes the which God himselfe hath ordained and sanctified for the propagation and increase of mankind that being taken in hand in his feare a godly seed being multiplied and growen vp here on earth the same may be blessed to the constitution and making of a Church the which may serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse when the same is taken in hand with the breach of his commandement so farre off is it that any blessing is to be hoped for that contrariwise his hot indignation wrath and heauy curse hangeth ouer that house and family where the parties which are the principall pillars and vpholders of the same are linked and tied together in such a band of wedlocke whose linkes and inclosings are not fastened and coupled together with the necessarie and lawfull assent and liking of the parents whose authoritie and consent ought to beare the chiefest sway and strike likewise the greatest stroke in this honorable 〈◊〉 And likewise as where marriage is begun and enterprised in the feare of God according to his word there God is well pleased there the parties so matched liue together in a ioyfull agreement linking the one to the other there God is honoured and serued in sinceritie and truth there the children when God giueth them with the rest of the family are instructed and brought vp in knowledge of religion and grounds of faith so on the other side the regard of that which God especially commandeth being shut out of our marriages there must needs ensue his dislike and displeasure there is a iarre and discord there Gods honour is neglected there household discipline and Christian instruction of such as belong vnto our charge goeth vtterly to wracke and is nothing at all regarded And no maruell for if where God blesseth all things go well and do prosper then consequently where he curseth there nothing thriueth hath good successe or goeth happily forward It may appeare by sundrie examples both before the Law was giuen and after that this is a duty required of children towards their parents namely to haue their consent in contracting of marriage as these places do plainely shew Gen. 21. 21. and 24. 3. c. and 29. 19. and 34. 4. Deut. 7. 3. Iudge 14. 1. c. 1. Cor. 7. 36. 38. Whereby is manifestly proued that children ought not to match without the consent of their parents First because it is against the law of nature Secondly because the parents haue authority ouer their children more then they haue ouer their seruants Thirdly because children are their fathers goods and riches and therefore they must not bestow themselues in marriage but must be bestowed of their parents Fourthly because parents haue authoritie ouer the vowes of their children Numb 30. 4. 5. 6. Fiftly if a mans daughter be enticed yet her father may refuse the contract being not auaileable or of any force without his consent Exod. 22. 16. 17. Besides all this what clearer proofe can we haue then the fift Commandement in the which children are commaunded to honour their fathers and mothers with a blessing promised to those which performe the same whereby we gather by the nature of contraries that there is a curse also belonging to all those children that shall dishonour them And in that God willeth that the parents by their children should be honoured he meaneth that they should in all humility and modestie reuerence them with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them and with all willingnesse shew themselues thankfull for their creation education sustentation and all other benefites that vnder God they haue receiued from them being ready by all the meanes they possibly may to imitate and expresse towards them the nature of the Stroke whose property as they write of them is to prouide meate and feed their dams when through age they grow so old that they are not able to helpe themselues that is to say they must to their very vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall of some part of those vnrequitable paines the which their louing parents haue taken with them and make some amends for the vncounteruailable kindnesse that they haue shewed towards them But where they bestow themselues in marriage without the consent of their parents there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respects that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankfull vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that children carry towards their parents a certaine honest and modest shamefastnesse ioyned with a bashfull awfulnesse and standing in feare of them the which worketh in them a conceiuing of such opinion and estimation of them as that they haue an especiall respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things rather of a care to please them then of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth foorth it selfe in that willingly without murmuring or grudging they be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by their parents being ready to do all lawfull things which
housholders when they go about to hire any seruants would be no lesse carefull and inquisitiue of their honestie godly conuersation and how they haue profited in the knowledge of God his religion then they be to enquire and know what they can do and what skill and cunning they haue in that Art or Science which they prosesse or else what qualities they haue and so doing no doubt they being carefull to hire religious and godly seruants to do their worke and businesses that which such seruants shall take in hand the Lord will much better prosper giue good successe vnto then otherwise if they shall hire and entertaine irreligious and prophaue seruants as may plainly appeare by the examples of Iacob and Ioseph two religious and faithfull seruants whose maisters and their substance were blessed increased and multiplied for their sakes As house-holders ought to haue care ouer the bodies of their seruants so much more ouer their soules One compareth the maister of the house to the Seraphin which came and kindled the Prophets zeale so he should go from wife to seruants and from seruants to children kindle them in zeale of God longing to teach and vtter knowledge as a nurse to empty her breasts It is lamentable to thinke how carelesse all maisters for the most part are on this behalfe not onely such as are prophane and ignorant themselues but also some that would be counted great professors and would seeme to haue great knowledge yea and with griefe may it be spoken some Preachers also who hauing had seruants dwelling with them 3. or 4. yeares or more as they were ignorant in the grounds and principles of Christian religion whē they came first into their seruice so they went from them as ignorant therein as they came and all for want of catechising being a principall duty which not onely Ministers but also all Christian maisters in conscience are bound to performe to their families But of this matter I haue sufficiently intreated in my last Edition of the vse and necessitie of catechising and therefore I will of purpose here omit to speake of it Another saith that a maister in his familie hath all the offices of Christ for he must rule and teach and pray rule like a king and teach like a Prophet and pray like a Priest To shew how a godly man should behaue himselfe in his houshold when the holy Ghost speaketh of the conuersion of any house-keeper commonly he saith That the man beleeued and all his houshold As Peter being conuerted must conuert his brethren so the maister being a protestant and a good Christian must endeuour by all good meanes that his seruants may be such For therefore God said that he would not hide his counsell from Abraham because he would teach his familie And surely all duty of seruants which is not done of conscience is but eye seruice and faileth at most need as Ziba betraied his maister when he should haue defended him Therefore before Onesimus was conuerted Paul said he was an vnprofitable seruant but when he was conuerted he called him more then a seruant because such a seruant is better then many seruants Though Laban was wicked himselfe yet he reioyced that Iacob his seruant was godly because God blessed him the better for him Ioshuah saith I and my houshold will serue the Lord Shewing that maisters should receiue none into their houses but whom they can gouerne as Ioshua did and if any such haue crept into their doores they must put him forth againe for Dauid saith I will not suffer a lyer to stay within my house He saith not a swearer nor a theefe but a lyer as if he should say I will rid him out of doores before he be a swearer and a theefe for a lyer will grow to a swearer and a theefe as a dicer groweth to a begger in a night Therefore it is noted of Cornelius that he himselfe feared God with all his houshold These examples be written for house-holders as others are for Magistrates and Ministers and souldiers that no calling might seeke further then the Scriptures for instruction Wherefore as you are maisters now and they your seruants instruct them and teach them as if you would shew what maisters your seruants should be hereafter Next vnto seruants labours and instruction must be considered their corrections As Paul saith Fathers prouoke not your children to wrath so we may say Maisters and mistresses prouoke not your seruants to wrath that is vse such reproofes and such corrections that you do not prouoke them but moue them that you do not exasperate them but win them for reuiling and reprochfull words and immoderate fiercenesse doth much more hurt then good And therefore the Law of God did charge the Magistrate that he should not cause aboue forty stripes to be inflicted vpon any offender lest he should seeme despised in his eyes much lesse then may a maister exceed that number to his seruant For while a child or scholler or seruant doth thinke that he is reproued for loue or beaten with reason it makes him thinke of his fault and is ashamed but when he seeth that he is rebuked with curses and beaten with staues as though he were hated like a dogge his heart is hardned against the man that correcteth him and the fault for the which he is corrected and after he becommeth desperate like an horse which turneth vpon the striker and therefore let maisters know that God euen then chides them whensoeuer they fight or chide in such rage For though there be a fault yet something must be dissembled and winked at and some things must be forgiuen and some punished with a looke for he which takes the forfeit of euery offence shall neuer be in any rest but vexe himselfe more them his seruant But aboue all we thinke that the charitie and tender affection of maisters and loue of seruants to their fellowes in their sicknesse is especially to be vsed and shewed at which time the sicke are to be seuerally lodged from the whole and to be cherished and nourished with more choise and daintie meate For the performance and care of this dutie the Centurion is commended in the Gospell which dutie very vnchristianly is neglected of many maisters The maister of the house should not disdaine or shew himselfe so scornfull or vnkind as not to visite his sicke seruants For if bruite beasts reioyce to see their maisters cherish and feede them as we may daily see in dogges c. how much more may we beleeue that men and reasonable creatures are much delighted and comforted therewith Whereupon it comes to passe that good and faithful seruants liking and affecting their maisters vnderstand them at a becke and obey them at a winke of the eye or bent of the brow not as a water-spaniel but as the hand is stirred to obey the mind so prompt and readie is
16. 20. 21. Psal. 127. 3. See more of this point in the vse and necessity of catechizing The second point Deut. 6. 10. Exed 12. 26. 13. 14. The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to 〈◊〉 them soberly to keepe them vender obedience and to teach them good manners Prou. 23. 13. 19. 18. 19. 15. 17. 22. 15. 13. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 12. 3. 12. 13. 14. 1. Kin. 1. 5. 6. 2. Kin. 2. 23. 24 How children should be brought vp Hold thy children in awe and they shall haue thee in reuerence Prou. 30. 25. and 6. 0 7. Mat. 6. 19. sal 127. 3. lat 12. 33. Reasons Gen. 5. 3. Prou. 18. 21. 1. Sam. 9. 2. c. and. 16. 11. Psal. 78. 70. 71. 1. Kin. 19. 19. Amos 1. 2. Good manners in speech Good manners in gesture 〈◊〉 3. 1. Ioh. 2. 4. Mat. 18. 10. Esay 5. 8. Psal. 37. 35. 30. Psal. 111. 10. Prou. 9. 10. Psal. 19. 7. 8. 119. 105. Prou. 22. 6. Mat. 21. 15. 16. Psal. 82. 2 King 2. 13. 2. Sam. 16. 15. c. 1. King 1. 5. Mat. 5. 8. 1. Thes. 4. 7. Luk. 1.74.75 1. Pet. 5. 8. I am 4. 7. Pro. 18. 10. Psal. 50. 15. Prou. 1. 10. 11 Rom. 12. 2. 1. Ioh 215. Psal. 51. 5. Ephes. 2. 3. Col. 1. 12. 13. 2. Cor. 6. 1. Rom. 13. 12. Esay 14. 12. Zoph 1. 8. Gen. 6. 5. 8. 21. Mat. 15. 19. 2. Sam. 15. all 18. 35. Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit Two things which much hinder good education The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they be well brought vp The second cause which 〈◊〉 good education 2. Sam. 18. 33. Gen. 4. 2. 25. Gen. 21. 2. Gen. 30. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 9. 2. Sam. 22. 24. Luke 1. 13. Children profit more by good example in one month then by instruction in a whole yeare Obiection Answer Zuke 3. 29. Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue to well die well Marriage with Papists c. Gen. 23. 24. Gen. 2. 24. How should it marriage 〈◊〉 well whē 〈◊〉 bridegroome 〈◊〉 such a one 〈◊〉 whom he cannot say God speed because she is one of Gods friends 2. Ioh. 10. 1. Cor. 7. 39. But how do they marry in the Lord who marry the Lords enemies Gen. 6. 2. As the Iewes might not marry with the Cananites so Christians may not marry with them which are like Cananites Gen. 24. 3. 28. 1. Mal. 2. 11. Ezr 9. 14. If adulterie may separate marriage shall not idolatr y hinder marriage which is worse then it Parents may not giue their daughters to a man 〈◊〉 Gen. 34. 14. Miserable is that mā which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion He feareth not sinne which doth not shun occasions and he is worthy to be snared which leadeth himselfe into temptation so maketh a trap for himselfe Luk. 11. 4. The wife must be meete as God said Gen. 2. 14. But how is she meete if the husband be a Christian and sh e a Papist 1. Cor. 7. 1. Gen. 18. 1. 2. Iud. 14. 1. 2. 3. * It is the parents duty to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12. 14. Gen. 4. 2. 3. 4. Ruth 3. 1. When parents do abuse their authority Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects When parents do marry their daughters to men of vnderstanding they shall performe a weightie worke Colos. 3. 21. Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children In prouision of matches for their children parents ought to begin with prayer The third point Examples do much more perswade then words 〈◊〉 must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 As the father beginneth so it is like the son will proceed Gal. 6. 7. Mat. 18. 7. 1. Cor. 15. 33. The last point Gen. 3. 19. Ezech. 16. 49. Prou. 12. 11. 18. 9. 1. Tim. 5. 10. 11. 2. Thes. 3. 10. 11. Idlenesse bringeth much euill Mat. 12. 36. To learne that Science which they be most apt for Obiection Answer Pro. 3. 13. 14. 15. Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning Luke 16. 27. Prou. 22. 6. 〈◊〉 of the eldest 〈◊〉 is athing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chron. 21. 3. Exod. 13. 1. 2. 34. 19. 20. Num. 3. 13. 18. 16. Deut. 21. 18. c. Gen. 35. 22. 1. Chron. 5. 1. a Eph 6. 1. 2. 3. Colos. 3. 20. b Leuit. 19. 3. Num. 12. 14. c Pro. 15. 5. 1. Tim. 5. 4. Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Gen. 47. 12. Fathers and mothers are to their children in Gods stead Exod. 20. 12. Deut. 5. 15. By honour is meant all kind of duty which children owe to their parents 〈◊〉 23. 39. Mat. 23. 9. 1. King 2. 19. 1. King 2. 20. Ioh. 849. 〈◊〉 9. 22. The honor due to parents Childrens dutie is from their beginning to their ending to be subiect obedient and helpfull to their parents Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Exod. 21. 15. 17. Leuit. 20. 9. Pro. 20. 20. 30. 17. Deut. 〈◊〉 16. What children do to their parents they do to God so that they may not purloine or diminish any of their substāce Pro. 28. 24. Mat. 7. 12. Mat. 7. 2. 1. Sam. 20. 28. c 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19. Mat. 23. 9. When a woman loseth her honestie then hath she lost her chiese treasure Gen. 34. 12. Children may not marry without the cōsent agreement of their 〈◊〉 so that an vnlawfull promise made by the child may lawfully be broken It is a sweete wedding whē the father and the mother bring ablessing to the feast and a heauie vnion which is cursed the firs̄t day that it is knit 1. Sam. 18. 1. Contracts void without the consent of parents Children 〈◊〉 are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choyce and to 〈◊〉 their minds to accept of the same 〈◊〉 9. 22. 2. Sam. 15. 1. c. 18. 14. Deut 21. 18. 19. 20. 21. Exod. 20. 12. Ephes 6. 2. Deut. 28. 15. c. Leuit. 26. 14. c. Gen. 46 29. c. and 48. 〈◊〉 12. Luke 2. 51. Deut. 5. 16. Exed 20. 12. Ephes. 6. 2. Psal. 115. 17. 18. Esay 38. 19. Ephes. 6. 3. The housholder is called Pater Familias that is a father of a familie because he should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children Maisters and Dames ought moderatly to vse their authoritie ouer theirseruants Iames 5. 4. Coloss 4. 1. Ioh 13 13. 14. 15. Deut. 24 14. 15 Mat. 8 5. 6. 〈◊〉 7. 2. God made eu ry weeke one day of rest wherein seruants should be as free as their maisters Gen. 2. 2. As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthy his hire euen so much more the 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 eueryday Luke 10. 7. As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18. 5. Iob 31. 13. 14. 15. For a good man sauh Salemon Pro. 12. 10. will be mercifull to his beast therefore he ought to be m re mercifull to his seruants being his brethren Reuiling words and vnreasonable 〈◊〉 doth much more hurt to seruants then good 〈◊〉 16. 17. Exod. 20. 10. 〈◊〉 5. 14. 1. Tim. 5. 8. Seruants do rather imitate the works they see their maisters do then the words which they heare them speake Luke 7. 8. Ephes. 6. 9. The couetous wan in gaining riches loseth himselfe Psal. 39. 6. That which thou canst do conueniently thy selfe commit it not to another Masters ought to make good choyce of their seruants Gen. 30 26. 27. c. and 29. 2. 3. 4. 5 6. 23. 23. Esay 6. 6. It is a rare thing for a maister to bring his seruant to be godly who is not godly him selfe Reuel 5. 10. Act. 16. 31. 32 18. 8. 1. Cor. 1. 16. Ge 18. 17. 18. Phil. 11. 16. Gen. 29. Iosua 24. 15. Psal. 101. 7. Act. 10. 2. They must keepe no idle prophane superstitious nor disordered 〈◊〉 in their house Ephcs. 6. 4. Masters ought to haue a tender care of their seruants in their sicknesse Mat. 8. 5. 6. Luk. 7. 1. The wiues behauiour with seruants The maister must correct his seruants and the mistris her maids Eph 6.5.6.7.8 Col. 3.22.23.24 Tit. 2.9.10 1 Pet. 2.18.19.20.21 1. Tim. 6. 1. 2. Luk. 17. 7. 8. 9 1. King 5. 13. The property of a good seruant Gen. 29. 18. 19. 20. 39. 5. c. Gen. 16. 7. 8. 〈◊〉 Phil. 10. c. How far forth seruants ought to obey their maisters Mat. 8 9. And among seruants to helpe and ease of one another necessarie Seruants must to the vttermost of their power seek the commodity benefit of their maisters Mat. 7. 2.
wicked sonne Caine obtained a righteous Abel of whom when by his bloudie brother they were bereft they receiued that holy man Seth. Abraham be getting in the flesh had a cursed sonne Ismael but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his couenant he obtained a blessed Isaack Iacob not content with one wife according to the ordinance of God was punished in his children yet afterward being humbled he receiued faithfull Ioseph Elkanah and Hannah praying and beinst cast downe had a Samuel that did minister before the Lord. Dauid and Bethsheba lamenting their sins obtained Salomon a man of excellent wisedome Zacharias and Elizabeth fearing the Lord receiued Iohn the Baptist a fore-runner of Christ. Looke what sinnes parents haue receiued naturally without God his great blessing without prayer and humbling themselues they shall conuey them to their posteritie And although the Lord granteth sometimes ciuill gifts vnto the children of naturall and carnall men yet for the most part they receiue their naturall sinne But if the children of God by regeneration do see into themselues and lament their sinnes of generation praying that their naturall corruptions may be preuented in their posterities they shall see the great mercies of God in some measure freeing their children from the same Now when thou shalt see such sinnes to be in thy children enter into thine owne heart examine thy selfe whether they are not come from thee Consider how iustly the hand of God may be vpon thee and when thou wouldest be angry with thy childe haue an holy anger with thy selfe and vse this and such like meditation with thine owne soule Lord shall I thus punish mine owne sinne and that in mine owne childe shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors Nay I see ô Lord and proue that thou art displeased with me for the too carnall conception of my childe I lay then in some sinne I asked it not of thee by prayer be mercifull vnto me ô Lord and in thy good time shew some pittie vpon my child Thus thinking thou goest about to correct nature in thy childe which he could not helpe arming thy selfe with prayer repenting with Iacob thou shalt be so affected as desirous to draw thy child out of sin yet with the mildest meanes and least rigor And one thing is most wonderfull that some will teach their children to speake corruptly and do wickedly whilest they are young and yet beate them for it when they are old Againe some will imbolden their little ones to practise iniquitie towards others which when by the iust iudgement of God they afterwards exercise towards the parents themselues they are corrected for it And yet reason with these and such like men for the euill education of their children and they will answer Do not we as much as is of vs required we send our children to the Church to be instructed of the Pastor and to the schoole to be taught of the maister if they learne it will be the better for them if not they haue the more to answer for what can we do more But remember ô man consider ô woman whosoeuer thus speaketh that for sinnes sake and the want of prayer there may be a plague vpon the Pastors paines and a curse vpon the teachers trauell If parents therefore would haue their children blessed at the Church and at the schoole let them beware they giue their children no corrupt example at home by any carelesnesse prophanenesse or vngodlinesse for when examples are set before childrens eyes they are easily led away to that which is euill otherwise parents will do them more harme at home then both Pastor and schoole-maister can do good abroad For the corrupt example of the one fighteth with the good doctrine of the other which is so much the more dangerous because that corrupt walking is armed with nature therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side And further experience teacheth vs that children like or mislike more by countenance gesture and behauiour then by any rule doctrine or precept whatsoeuer Some there be that will not haue their children taught vntill they be ten or twelue yeares old because as they say at that age they haue but an apish imitation To whom we answer that although they cannot then deepely discerne nor profoundly conceiue things yet how many things before these yeares will they both receiue and remember And we demand if children be apish in imitation and following that whilst they be young which they will haue the habit qualitie or propertie of when they be old may they not much better do apishly good whiles they are young which they may carefully do when they are old Besides let them go so vntaught and they will grow so head-strong that they will sooner be broken then bended sure it is that one stripe or two words will do more good to a child in time then an hundred stripes afterward And here let parents be admonished of their vndiscreet correction who do their children more harme in shewing a merrie countenance after their discipline vsed then they do good by their chastisement of them whiles they do correct them Neither do we purpose to take away naturall affection and a Christian kind of compassion in all our censures for it is our great complaint of the brutish vnmercifulnesse of many parents here but we would wish Christians to correct their vndiscreet affections herein by heauenly wisedome Neither are we so Stoicall as to deny a more milde and affable kind of speech to be lawfully and conueniently vsed to children and yet we wish it to be voyd of all vnseemely lenitie and without all shew of foolish vaine and vnnecessary behauiour To be briefe how needfull houshold gouernment is towards children may appeare by the slender thriuing and small profiting either of religion or vertue either in the Church or Common-wealth Speake men of discipline neuer so much complaine they of the want of Church gouernment neuer so lowd preach they teach they neuer so much abroad vnlesse they will begin discipline in reforming their houses giue religion some roome at home they shall trauell much and profit little And surely if men be carefull to reforme themselues first and then their families if their charge be greater then their circuites and prouinces wherein the Lord hath placed them it were the best way to moue the Lord to bestow reformation discipline on his Church among vs and of all meanes that now may be hoped for this seemeth best for of particular persons come families of families townes of townes prouinces of prouinces realmes so that conueying discipline thus from one to another in time and that shortly it would come into the Church Well we say let there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches if there be no practise at home if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses and ioyne their