canst make mee thy child O be pleased to hearken to the intercession of mine advocate pleading for mee to the intercession of thy Christ who was obedient to thee to the intercession of my Iesus who was crucified for mee In him be reconciled unto mee for I am well assured that like as a father pittieth his children Ps 103 13. so thou Lord doest pittie them that feare thee This ô this is the way where in I must walke Thus yea onely thus shall I have a father both dead and alive Hee who is dead shall not b◠immoderately bewayled because hee that is ever living shall wipe the teares from mine eyes Mine exchange shall be full of advantage For him who was willing to helpe mee yet was not able for him who loved mee but imperfectly and left mee irresistably I shall have a father whose will cannot be opposed whose power noe creature is able to resist whose love is in perfection and who is not subject either to change Dan 7.9 Ps 90.2 Ps 22.9 or dye Hee is the ancient of dayes hee is God from ever-lasting and world without end If I could say with David Thou didst make mee hope when I was upon my mother's breast as well as I can say with him Thou art hee that tooke mee out of my mother's wombe vers 10 if I could say that thou art my God from my mother's belly as well as I can say that I was cast upon thee from the wombe if I could say that I had allways served thee then should my praise be of thee continually Ps 71.6 and then should I be safe under the shadow of thy wings Hos 14 3. Ashur shall not save us saith Israel wee will not ride upon horses neither will wee say any more to the worke of our hands Yee are our God's for in thee ô God the fatherlesse findeth mercy In God doe the fatherlesse find mercy Ps 35.14 Why then doe I how downe my selfe thus heavily mourning for my father whereas I am assured if I serve and obey the righteous Lord that when my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up Hee that is dead was but the weake though the loving instrument to bring mee to life but hee that is living yea and liveth for ever and ever is the God both of power and mercy hee therfore for ever shall be my father Mal 2.10 Have wee not all one father Saith the Prophet Hath not one God created us Yes yes hee is a father to all by creation but hee will not be a father to all by regeneration Lu 12.32 His flock is but litle his children are not many I will therfore strive to be one of the smallest number for those alone shall inherit salvation His mercies were ever greate to the godly his compassions never failed the fatherlesse if they honoured him When David was promised that hee should have a Sonne even then the Lord did allso promise to be a father unto him 1. Ch◠17.13 I will be his father saith the Lord and hee shall be my Sonne I will not take my mercy away from him as I tooke it from him that was before thee But what shall I doe to gaine his protection How shall I perswade him to call mee his child If I love the memorie of my father more then I love him then I cannot possibly be worthy of him for so saith my Saviour Mat 10 37. Hee that loveth father or mother more then mee is not worthy of mee I will therfore strive to honour my God with the strength of my love in heart and in soule and that I may the better doe it I will imitate my dead father in all that was just and righteous in him but whereinsoever hee failed I will decline his stepps 1 King 22.52 Ahaziah was plagued because hee did evill in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father and of his mother 2. Chr 22.3 Hee walked in the way of the house of Ahab for his mother was his counseller to doe wickedly It is not the losse of a parent which can prevaile for a blessing upon the child unlesse in the stead of him that was earthly hee be made a father who is Lord of heaven Hee looketh not on our afflictions with the eye of compassion unlesse wee looke up to him with the eye of faith and devotion Our miseries are but judgments unlesse wee amend and doe but prophesie unto us a destruction at hand When Ieroboam was fatherlesse hee was called to the congregation 1. King 12.20 c 11.26 and they made him King over Israel but hee whose hand at first was lifted against the Crowne and not content with that did afterwards put it forth against the man of God c 13.4 had it justly dryed up so that hee could not pull it in againe unto him Thus the losse of an earthly father could not protect a wicked orphane c 14.9 but hee who did evill above all that were before him and had gone and made other Gods and molten images to provoke the Lord to anger and had cast the Lord behind his back even upon his house was evill to be brought vers 10 The Lord will cutt off saith the text from Ieroboam him that pisseth against the wall and him that is shut up and left in Israel and will take away the remnant of the house of Ieroboam as a man taketh away dung 'till it be all gone But on the contrarie I find that unto the godly a father of the fatherless Ps 68.5 and a judge of the widowes is God in his holy habitation 1. King 7.13 vers 14 Hiram the Sonne of a widow of the tribe of Naptali whose father was a man of Tyre the same was filled with wisedome and understanding and cunning to worke all workes in brasse and was therfore sent for by King Solomon to build his house Gen 25 11. Est 2.7 After the death of Abraham it is said that the Lord blessed his Sonne Isaak After the death of Esther's father Mordecai the Iewe tooke her shee being his uncle's daughter for shee had neither father nor mother Hee tooke her for his owne daughter and afterward the Lord so blessed the orphane that shee came to sit upon the royall throne c 7.3 vers 17 Ps 10.14 and to be the preserver of her nation Thus the poore who commit themselves to God doe find assuredly that hee is a helper of the fatherlesse Hee executeth their judgment so saith Moses Deut 10.18 The Lord doeth execute the judgment of the fatherlesse By Moses allso hee forbiddeth the people saying Yee shall not afflict any widow Ex 22.22 or fatherlesse child Iob accuseth his pretended friends of an high offence when hee chargeth them Iob. 6.27 Is 10.2 saying Yee over-whelme the fatherlesse By the Prophet Isaiah a woe is
meete thee my God and my mercifull Redeemer O God comfort mee O Christ strengthen mee O Iesus save mee Prepare mee for the happie hower of my deliverance from this world and then bring mee out of this valley of teares to those waters of comfort where I may sing tryumphantly to the honour of thy name through Iesus Christ my Lord and my Redeemer Amen subject 25 THE TWENTIE-FIFTH SUBjECT Teares of a mother on her death-bed blessing her children The Soliloquie Consisting of two parts viz 1 Her preparation to blesse them 2 The blessing it selfe ending in a prayer part 1 The First part of the Soliloquie being her preparation to blesse them THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray CHildren are an heritage of the Lord saith the Psalmist Ps 127.3 and the fruit of the wombe is his reward True indeede they come from the Lord and happy are they if they returne unto him Gracious hath my God beene to mee in the loane of my issue but unlesse hee shall be pleased to adde grace unto nature his blessing will be fearfully converted into a curse Weakenesse possesseth my body faintnesse my spirits 2. Tim. 4.6 and the time of my departure is neere at hand Goe I must yea and I am willing and joyfull to meete my God but oh the thought of my children disturbeth my mind and the consideration of what may become of them filleth my dying heart with cares and anxjeties If they live not in the feare of him who lent them unto mee my poore issue may become the fewell of hell What shall I doe If I should live I would take such care by the blessing of my God as that I might be a meanes to nurture them up in the feare of the most high but if I am taken away from them who can tell what their education may prove Strangers may governe them and such people for ought I know may undertake their tuition as may neglect the care of religious instructions and suffer them to runne head-long to the gulfe of perdition O what a curse would it prove beyond expression if that part of my selfe which is divided into litle ones if those which cost mee so many pangs and throwes should be disobedient to my God and so be sentenced to the flames of eternall horrour Alas I can doe noe more then what the Lord will permit mee While I am here I am bound both by nature and grace to endeavour my utmost for their holy advantage but when I shall be dissolved lye in the cold clods of my mother earth then can noe more care be expected from mee Ah my poore infants litle doe they thinke how they will misse their mother and wish mee alive againe as if they envyed my happinesse Hither and thither they may be tossed and tumbled and which is worst of all they may be brought up in ignorance or in lewdnesse and sensualitie Mee think's I see the frownes of a stepmother and the knitted browes menacing nothing but crueltie and tyrannie and then mee think's they weepe in one corner and lament in another bemoane their hard happ in the losse of my selfe Their hungrie bellies may be pinched with famine their bodies with cold and their backs with stripes when I shall not either heare or see or know it my head being layed in the low and silent grave Helpe they may call for when none will have the pittie to render them helpe So they may want and cry and be beaten and cry and be turned out of doores and cry when yet neither mercy will heare nor charitie hearken to the complaints of the motherlesse But why doe I spend so many of these swift minuits of my short continuance in such pensive melancholick and distrustfull thoughts and feares of what may happen True it is that these and others yea and worse inconveniences may happen to their bodies and yet they may prove the children of the Most high That ô that is all that I aime at for though I would not willingly have them suffer in their bodies yet I would not for a thousand worlds that they should suffer in their soules Hunger and thirst and stripes and nakednesse may be endured and in time either age or wealth or friends may free them from these out-ward sufferances but ignorance and ungodlinesse without the infinite mercies and goodnesse of my Redeemer will be punished with torments that shall never have end O what shall I doe then for my poore distressed children Grieve I doe but I feare that I offend in it mourne I doe but I doubt it is more then indeede I ought God is not weake or ignorant or impotent Hee hath beene a father to mee from the time of my conception and shall I yet distrust in his providence and protection of my children This were either to suspect his power or to deny his mercie I know it is his desire that they should be heires of salvation and I know that hee can effect whatsoever hee desireth To him therfore I will leave them to his care and tuition I will referre my tender and beloved plants And that hee may the more willingly become their guardiaen when I shall leave them while I live I will beseech him with abundance of my teares to admitt them his servants The wife of Zebideus made a bolder request to my gracious Redeemer Mat 20.21 for shee be sought him that those her two sonnes might sit the one on his right hand and the other on his left in his Kingdome vers 22 Shee poore woman as Christ replyed did not know what shee asked Shee knew not that the Kingdome of Christ was celestiall but dreamed of an earthly diademe and glory Her request was therfore the fuller both of boldnesse and ambition whom noe place would serve for those her children but what was highest and next to supreamest majestie Yet mee thinks I cannot much blame her for her love to them whom so dearely shee had bought There is noe earthly love to be compared to the love of a woman nor is any womans love to be compared to the love of a mother Surely David did not know how strong this passion of love is in the weaker vessells when hee said The love of Ionathan to him was wonderfull 2. Sam. 1.26 passing the love of women Wee mothers are like unto the charet of King Solomon whereof though the pillars were of silver Cant 3 10. and the bottome of gold and the covering of purple yet the midst thereof was paved with love for the daughters of Ierusalem Is 49.15 Can a woman saith God forget her sucking child that shee should not have compassion on the sonne of her wombe 'T is very rare indeede and yet it is possible for hee himselfe doeth say that they may forget Yet
branches Thou hast planted it 1. Cor 3.6 my teares shall water it doe thou give the increase to it Something I apprehend but it is but in a mist Some thing I believe but it is but dully it is but imperfectly it is but weakely Lord I believe help my unbeliefe Mar 9.24 O that my teares might be so sanctified that my griefe might be a delight I must I will search enquire find out my secret crimes those snakes that lye hid under the greene leaves of my best my glorious actions I know that I am all sin all corruption and yet though I say that I know it though I know that I know it yet enough I doe not I cannot know it The more I prye into it the neerer is mine cye drawne to a narrownesse the more I pore upon it the sooner is mine eye tired into a dulnesse Each part each member is either an abettour or an actour of sin What then shall I doe Teares I can shed but it is rather through the disposition of nature then the operation of grace I will weepe therfore because I am so apt to grieve when my corruption is not truely the ground of my griefe I will punish mine eyes with teares for shedding so many teares not grounded on a sorrow for my wickednesse Now the spunges are full my sinns shall squeeze them Now my windowes shall be brightened with the brine with the lye of my teares Come I must mourne for I have found the cause the ground of all religious griefe which I am ashamed to owne Ps 6.6 Now with David I will crie until I am weary of my groaning every vight will I wash my bed and water my couch with my teares 1. Sam 30.4 With David againe and the prople that were with him pondering upon their losse at the spoiling of Ziklag I will lift up my voyce and weepe untull I have noe more power to weepe Iob 30.31 Now with the man of miseries the patient Iob my harpe shall be turned into mourning and my Organe into the voyce of them that weepe C 16.16 My face shall be fowle with weeping and on mine eye lids shall sit the shadow of death Now with David againe 2. Sam. 12.22 While the child is yet alive the child of corruption the monstrous spurious abortive bratt of sin is alive with in mee I will fast weepe but in a contrarie hope to that indulgent father I will cry who can tell whether God will be gracious to mee vers 22 that the child may not live or if it live it may but linger but languish but despaire of strength or health or life Thus I pine thus I grieve yet mee think's I am ashamed that I doe so I am troubled that I am thus troubled Well if mine eye be offended with the motes with the dusts of sin that fly into it I will wash it with it 's owne water If my face blush at the punishment of the eyes because it is childish thus to cry I will confesse it I will acknowledg it thus every child every child of my God doe's cry must cry And if all this force not shame into my bashfull cheeke for blushing at my teares then with that good king Hezekiah I will turne my face to the wall but I will still weepe and weeping that my teares be not spilt be not lost be not shed in vaine as that King 2. King 20.3 so my selfe though the meanest though the worst of subjects of slaves will pray and praying I will say The Prayer GReat God who on the second day of thine owne labour didst create a firmament in the midst of the waters Gen 1.6 so now in thy mercy put a distinction in the waters that flow from my troubled eyes O let heaven divide betweene them that those which dwell in the cloudes for the sinns I have committed may be distinguished from those that arise from sin By thy servant Ezekiel thou complainest of Ierusalem that she was not salted at all Lord Eze 16 4. I am salted in the brine of my teares ô let me be preserved in the love of thee my Creatour The causes of my griefe are the offences I have committed that a God so great should be incensed by a worme that a God so good should be dishonoured by a miscreant Thou art my God though offended thou shalt even be my God though thou art now displeased I have hope of pardon while I continue thine although I cannot choose but sin against thee who art so lovingly mine The heathens themselves did sacrifice to their Gods They had many I have but one To thee that one that holy one doe I offer what thou doest require a heart as thou doeâ—… require it broken but not so sanctified not so cleansed as it ought to be Lev 2.13 Yet it is offered with salt as thou requirest even with the salt of my teares Dan. 9.19 O Lord heare ô Lord have mercy ô Lord in mercy receave the cries the groanes the teares that flow from this burnt this broken offering These teares are the blood of a penitent soule for the blood of thy Son receave in mercy Num. 20.11 The rock of my heart hath beene smitten with thyrod from whence doe issue these springs of waters Lord doe thou even water my teares with the deaw of thy grace and mollifie my heart by the strength of thy power that both heart and eyes Io 17.6 and teares may be thine Thine they were and thou gavest them mee Thine they are I give them thee O let this rock this heart be an altar these eyes the priests and these teares the sacrifices acceptable unto thee my Lord and my God My heart is the censour and my sighs and groanes the incense Io 20.28 doe thou buth adde a sweetenesse thereto and so shall it allay the stricktnesse of thy fury My sinns ô God have dwelt in mine eyes but now I have made them drunke with my teares Thus let mee ever weepe thus let mee ever grieve It is a joy to be thus sorrow full it is a comfort to be thus distressed Lord in every part in every crumb of this broken heart I find thy mercifull thine in dulgent selfe In every sigh 1. King 9.12 in every groane I perceave that thou my Lord art in it a soft wind In every teare that trickleth from mine eyes thou hast a luster thou hast an habitation O let mee ever thus live in thy favour Let all my griefe be for offending thee Ps 42.3 Ps 6.6 Ps 80.5 Ps 104.9 and all my sorrow be for thy displeasure So shall my teares with David be my meate my drinke my bread my bath my onely joy and delight because thou takest a delight there in But ô thou who hast prescribed bounds to the seas which they cannot passe neither turne againe to cover the earth so limit these brackish seas by
I cannot find it but in the roome thereof is layd such a perverse one that the edge of compunction cannot pieres it pietie cannot mollifie it intreaties cannot move it threatmings cannot stirre it and stripes cannot wound it It is ungratefull though never so much benefitted it is unsaithfull though never so much intrusted it is refractorie though never so much counselled It is severe when it judgeth shamelesse when it thinketh and dreadlesse when danger neerest approacheth it It is churlish to the courteous and loving onely to those that are wicked It forgetteth what is past neglecteth what is present and provideth not for the time to come and to speake the trueth it neither feareth God Lu 18.2 nor reverenceth man Oh now had I but my good heart once againe how would I cherish it how would I preserve it But alasse I feare that I wish too late for it is fled and I doubt that it will never be called back never be sent mee home againe For this losse ô for this unspeakeable this dreadfull losse I will weep and weepe and nothing but weepe untill my teares be multiplied into a river Who knowes but that my litle Moses may be put into an arke though but of bulrushes Ex 2.3 and be layd in the flags by the brinke of my river be found againe and once more be delivered into my carefuller custodie If so it should happen how would I cherish it ô how tenderly would I nurse it up in my bosome Lu 2.48 I must weepe for it before I shall find it and like unto Ioseph and Marie seeking my redeemer I must seeke it sorrowing I will seeke it in the night in the night of my sorrow and each teare upon mine eye-lids shall twinkle like a starre and light mee to discover it It is noe shame to grieve for soch a losse A very Stoick would forget his stupiditie and bemoane the losse of such a heart This heart which I have is none of mine 1. King 3.20 The devill hath used mee as one harlot had done the other hee hath risen at mid-night and stollen away my live child and layd his owne dead child in my bosome But what now shall I doe Where is Solomon to administer justice I know that Sathan would be contented to have the child divided that hee might have halfe then hee knoweth my Creatour will disdaine the other But my God is the right owner of the living child ô that hee would but intrust mee to nurse it that this dead child might be cast out of dores I would be contented the living should be divided even with a sword Eph 6.17 but that sword shall be the sword of the spirit which is the word of God by this division the tempter shall be divided from mee Act 20 19. Saint Paul served God with all humilitie of mind with many teares If I could but intreate this heart which I have to be a litle humbled it might peradventure dissolue into teares for the losse of my best Why should not I endeavour in my mourning to follow the stepps of that blessed Apostle Doubtlesse that sorrowfull convert did oftener write with his teares then his inke and taught his paper to swell with those pearly dropps which fell from his eyes When that Doctor of the Gentiles was bound upon a voyage intended to steere his course tâ—â—erusalem Act 20 37. vers 38 all the elders did sorely weepe fell on his neck and kissed him sorrowing most of all for those words which hee spake that they should see his face noe more But when my Paul my heart departed I had noe such warning given mee otherwise certainly wee should have had a very solemne farewell wee should have had one shewer of teares or at least have kissed at parting But since with dry eyes wee forsooke each other it shall not now be too late for me to weepe Mat 26 49. O that I could be admitted but to give it one kisse It should not be like to that of Iudas to Christ I would not seeke the betraying but the preserving of it But I wâ—sh in vaine for it heare's mee not I sigh in vaine for it approacheth not Howsoever weepe I must sorrow I must most of all for feare I see it noe more part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie Griefe for an ould and sinfull heart and an earnest desire of a righteous new one VVHen Delilah was inquisitive to know where the strength of Samson lay and hee had thrice deceaved her Iud 16.16 shee so pressed him with her words and urged him that at length as the text saith hee tould her all his heart vers 17 Surely hee was either violently enamoured with her beauty or wonderfuly transported with the love of his ease that would tell all his heart to his enemie What if my best friend that I have in the would what if God should require the like at my hands Should I doe it Nay could I doe it Certainly I am afraid that either I have noe heart or if I have one that I doe not rightly know it or if I doe rightly know it I suspect that I should be ashamed to confesse all the evil that is in it When Solomon begged a guift of his sonne that guift was noe more then what was truely a debt and yet it was noe sleight one Prov. 23.26 it was a heart My Son give mee thine heart I would to God that my father my creatour my God would say unto mee as Solomon did to his sonne that hee would call mee his child But what if hee should What if hee should all so call for my heart As indeede hee doeth What should I answer him In the ould law if an Israëlite had but touched an uncleane thing Luc 5.2 though it were hidden from him yet hee was all so decreed uncleane Certainly hee who would not suffer his people to touch what was uncleane cannot himselfe accept of that which is uncleane King Solomon speake's in generall and send 's the challenge to the whole world in these words Prov 20.9 who can say I have made my heart cleane I am pure from sin When I compare these places together what can I think of my selfe What can I imagine that God will say unto mee when I bring him this heart Assuredly I must needes expect that hee will cry out as the people did by the garments yea by the owners of the garments the Priests of Sion Depart it is uncleane depart depart True it is that this heart which I have Lam 4.15 is full of wickednesse full of iniquity yea so full that it sends back my prayers fruitlesse into my bosome for the Lord hath assured mee by the mouth of his prophet Ps 66.18 that If I regard iniquity in my heart hee will not heare mee What now shal become of mee If hee be not my God where is my
like so many cobwebs in every corner thereof I would have it cleane from all evill counsells that it may performe a new obedience to my God I would have it true too as well as cleane Hebr. 10.22 not onely sprinkled from an evill conscience and my body washed with pure water but I would have it true allso that I may draw neere with it unto the Lord in full assurance of faith Prov. 19.8 I would have it wise to with-stand all evill motions and affections because hee that getteth wisedome in heart loveth his owne soule and hee that keepeth understanding shall live 1. King 3.6 I would have it upright for so David who was a man after Gods owne heart walked before the Lord in trueth and in righteousnesse and in uprightnesse of heart and then I shall be sure to have it defended Ps 7.10 for my defence shall be of God which saveth the upright in heart I would have it enlightened 2. Cor. 4.6 I would have God who commanded the light to shine out of darknes shine in my heart to give the light of the knowledg of the glory of God in the face of Iesus Christ 2. Pet. 1 19. I would have the day dawne and the day starre arise in my heart for onely such an enlightened heart can be able to perceave Deu. 29 4. and cause mine eyes to see and mine cares to heare it is onely such a heart that can understand it was onely such a heart as the wise understanding King Solomon prayed for 1. King 3.9 Ps 86.11 Rom. 10.10 Dan. 7.9 O what a happinesse should I enioy could I but prevail with God for such a heart Such a heart as should be united to feare his name that so with it I might believe unto righteousnesse Surely hee who is the ancient of dayes hee who cryed by the mouth of his holy Euangelist saying Rev. 21 5. Behould I make all things new even hee and hee alone can thus renew can give mee such a new and good heart It will not be new to him though it be so to mee for his it is of ould though not mine I looke for a new heaven and a new earth where in dwelleth righteousnesse 2 Pet. 3.13 and I looke for it according to his owne promise but what good will that doe mee unlesse my earth my heart be first made new unlesse I have also a new heaven first in that heart unlesse I have a new heart Mat. 27 60. Christ was layed in a new tombe hewen out of a rock where in never was any man lay before My ould heart is a rock as hard as heavy impenitrable as a rock yet it exceedeth not the power of the All-mighty even out of that rock to hew a new tombe a tombe wherein the ould man never lay and there if hee please hee can place my Iesus I am like a lumpe of dough Mat. 16 12. 1. Cor. 7.5.8 vers 6. vers 7. sowred with the leaven of the Pharisees with the leaven of mallice and wickednesse and alasse I know that a litle of that leaven leaveneth the whole lumpe but hee can purge out that ould leaven that I may be a new lumpe but then I must moisten â—t with my teares and kneade it with contrition And why should I not Why should I not cry for such a heart Why should I not begge and intreate and weepe and mourne for such a new heart Children are apt to cry for every new thing which they see or heare of If God would be pleased to make mee his â—hild I should not neede to cry for such a new heart hee would freely and quickly give it mee But yet certainly I must cry for it before hee will give it Teares are the counters by which my prayers my desires must be numbered even all my petitions which I tender unto him for a heart so new In ancient times the Clepsydra's or hower-glasses were not filled with sand but water and time was measured by the drops which fell from them Thus must I measure my time too even by the drops which fall from the glasse from the chrystall of mine eyes for my want of this heart Though formerly I have beene so exceeding drie as to measure with sand ' yet now I must dissolve into an account by my teares Surely such a heart as I pant for is a most pretious jewell and yet my God cannot choose but trust mee with it if I sollicit him with my teares in the name of his Sonne Hee can even congeale my teares into orientall pearles and so turne them into jewells and having heightened the vallew of those precious pearles for them hee can lend mee that heart which I sue for I desire but the loane of it I would not for all the world have it wholly mine for then I am sure I should presently spoile it I would but borrow it Mal. 3.17 and in that day when hee maketh up his jewells I would restore it him againe I know that hee would so delight in it if I keepe it tenderly and charily that hee would weare it in his eare hee would heare the cry of it as hee heard the cry of the children of Israel Ex. 2.23 vers 24 by reason of their bondage Well if that be the way to gett such a jewell a jewell so inestimable so pretious if I may gett it by crying surely I will Weepe I will cry With Ioseph Gen. 43 30. I will make hast my bowells shall yearne within mee I will seeke where to weepe I will enter into my chamber and weepe there Hee hath given such a jewell to others and why may not I as well hope to prevaile as others have done Hee hath enough of them hee make's them hee makes them at any time and that easily too very easily onely with a word of his mouth Therfore I will cry with a greate and exceeding bitter cry Gen. 27 34. vers 38 and say unto him Father blesse mee even mee allso ô my father I will lift up my voyce and weepe and will say unto him Hast thou but one blessing my father Blesse mee even mee allso ô my father Ier. 3.21 Vpon the high places was once heard both a weeping and a supplication allso of the children of Israel I will weepe too towards the high place towards the seate of my God every teare shall have a tongue every tongue shall cry for this heart which I want Or â—f all that will not doe Iam. 3.5 then this litle unruely member which hath boasted so great things this litle fire that would formerly kindle so great matters shall now burne with Zeale of my desires and with it I will pray and say The Prayer RIghteous father Ier. 17.10 who searchest the hearts and tryest the reines and in that search doest find my corrupted heart to be full of pollution and uncleanesse vouchsafe I beseech thee to
child by grace and adoption I am sure that hee will be my father by providence and protection Hee it is who sayd that hee would leave in the midst of Ierusalem Zeph 3.12 an afflicted and poore people but with all bee promised that they should trust in the name of the Lord. Hee that correcteth mee for mine offences intendeth my conversion the fault is in my selfe if it turne to my ruine Hee taketh away earth that hee may give mee heaven for both hee seeth I cannot graspe at once Thus hee at once both punisheth mee for mine offences and provideth for my happinesse Yet though hee punisheth hee doeth it not hastily nor yet un-expectedly if I justly consider it First hee threatneth before hee scourgeth and warneth mee to obey before hee chastiseth Thus by his Prophet Is 20.3 hee saith Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and bare foote three yeares for a signe and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia vers 4. So shall the King of Assyria leade away the Egyptians prisoners and the Ethiopians captives young and ould naked and barefoote even with their shame un-covered to the shame of Egypt Mee hee threatned too before hee thus visited mee but mine eares were deafe I stopped them and refused to hearken to the voyce of the Lord. Every sicknesse of mine owne or my friends every losse of mine owne or my neighbours was a menace â—…om the All-mighty Often did I see his â—…gments upon others but I minded them â—…t as if it nothing concerned mee what fell â—ot on my selfe Children of Princes doe â—eldome feele the smart of a rodde but are â—errified by the stripes which others receave Thus the Lord dealt with mee when hee scourged others but I pittied not them nor yet my selfe just it is therfore that none should now commiserate my case in the depth of my distresse Yet when I consider that this my poverty come's from God mee think's it is a testimomie as much of his love as of his severitie I know assuredly that his servant Iob did suffer more then my calamitie amount's unto yet hee repined not at his losses but glorified his maker Iob. 1.21 The Lord gave say's hee and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. Thus if I magnifie him who sendeth this correction I shall not sinne in my sufferance vers 22 nor charge him foolishly Mar. 10 25. Hee who sayd It is easier for a Camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle then for a rich man to enter into the Kingdome of God even the same Lord said to the young man in the Gospel If thou wilt be perfect Mat 19 21. goe and sell that thou hast and give to the poore and thou shalt have treasure in heaven and come and follow mee Had I thought of heaven in my seeming prosperitie I should not so much have beene tormented with this present losse But I who before neglected the poore am ranked now in the number of them I who expected my heaven upon earth have here my hell that I may have heaven hereafter Why then should I murmur at this blessing from God and deeme this a losse which is sent for my advantage Surely if I doe but endeavour to vallew the joyes of eternitie I shall rejoyce at my deliverance from the possessions of the world Such hast did Zacheus make from the tree when my Saviour did promise to become his guest and with such contempt of the world did hee entertaine my Redeemer Lu 19.8 that hee said unto him Behould Lord the halfe of my goods I give to the poore and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation I restore him fowre fould That Sycomore tree which never before or since had fruite bare then a publicane ripened for Christianitie Unwilling should I have beene to have performed either of the promises of Zacheus when I enjoyed those vanities which I termed goods for I ever was as slow to the acts of charitie as to those of justice But what I kept from others is now taken from mee and what I was un-willing to restore is returned to the owner Shall I therfore reine at him because hee required his owne Shall I murmur at him for that fault which is mine Hee found mee false and would trust mee noe longer Must this his know ledg redound to his dishonour Shall I blame him for his discoverie of my false-hood and negligence and not rather ingeniously confesse the guilt of my wickednesse 'T is I 't is I that am unjust 't is hee 't is hee that is righteous and yet though I am unjust and hee is righteous my sinnes are punished to my greater advantage I am now in this povertie made liker unto him for to the Scribe hee said The foxes have holes Mat 8.20 and the birds of the aire have nests but the sonne of man hath not where on to lay his head House hee had none yea and friend hee had none for even those did crucifie him whom hee came to redeeme One of his disciples became a traitour and when hee came to his owne Io 1.11 his owne receaved him not When hee was hungrie instead of figges hee found nothing but leaves Mat 21 19. and at another time hee contented him selfe with a piece of a broyled fish Luc 24 42. and an hony-kombe When hee was thirstie hee was offered vineger to drinke Io 19.29 Mat 27 28.31 and never was it knowne that his garment was changed save when the Iewes put on him the skarlet roabe and when they had mocked him they tooke't from him againe The disciple is not above his master c 10.24 nor the servant above his Lord. If hee be my master I shall be contented with my povertie if hee be my Lord I shall rejoyce in my losses Povertie is the liverie which his servants weare but this povertie is seated more in spirit then in purse for those hee pronounced truely blessed and to them hee promised the kingdome of heaven Mat 5.3 The poore that are wicked hee double hate's both because they neglect their common dueties and for contemning that poverty which hee send 's for a blessing Those who have least of temporall goods should most be busied about things eternall The rich have some plea for neglecting his service because they are busied in managing their estates but the poore have noe pretence for failing in their dueties to whom God hath afforded nothing for their hinderance Is 66.2 To this man will I looke saith God hin selfe even to him that is poore Yet hee stayeth not here but farther describeth what poore hee intendeth and saith Even him that is of a contrite spirit and trembleth at my word Prov 19.1 It is onely the poore man walking in his integritie who is better then hee that is perverse in his lipps The prophet doeth promise that The meeke shall increase their joy
Lu 15.14 vers 16 I am brought into want and faine would fill my belly even with the huskes that swine doe eate but noe man giveth them unto mee vers 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough and to spare and yet I am ready to perish with hunger Though thus I know my miserie yet I skarce remember the cause But I will begg of my heavenly father vers 17 that I may come unto my selfe and then that my selfe may come unto him I know that hee is angry and his wrath is terrible but if I absent my selfe his displeasure will increase The longer I strive to keepe out of his sight the more will be his severitie and the more grievous my punishment vers 18 I will therfore arise and goe to my father and say unto him Father I have sinned against heaven vers 19 and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants Iob 42.6 Ps 102.9 Ps 80.5 I will abhorre my selfe in dust and ashes As David did so will I I will eate ashes as it were bread and I will have plenteousnesse of teares to drinke I will mourne for my sinnes which have caused this judgment and with my teares in mine eyes compunction in my heart and humilitie in my soule I will fall on my knees before his footestoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl-mighty and all-sufficient Lord God who by thy power diddest lay the foundations of the world and by thy providence doest guide protect the things therein conteined be pleased to looke upon the sorrowes and sufferances of thy distressed servant Thou knowest my wants before I aske and seest how low I am brought with hunger The inferiour creatures thou fillest with plenty but mee thou sufferest to pine with famine Shall not the cryes of the hungrie pierce thine eares Shall the soule of the emptie be despised by it's maker Heare Lord Ps 30.10 and have mercy ô be thou my helper Thou knowest how I groane under the burden of this affliction and wilt thou allways know it and never remove it where are thy mercies which thou shewedst to thine Israelites Where is they goodnesse which was manifested to he widdow of Sarepta Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies nor forget thy compassion The stomack crye's and the belly cryes and a poore languishing soule cryes unto thee ô Lord in the depth of distresse O my father shut not up thy mercifull eares to my prayers but heare mee in heaven and succour mee with thy reliefe Thy store will not be lessened nor thy treasure diminished by sparing to mee a morsell of bread Lord if it may stand with thy good will preserve mee from death and deliver mee from this famine or else arme mee with patience that I may under-goe thy chastisement with comfort and content O thou Saviour of the world to whom the cursed Iewes gave gall to eate Ps 69.21 and when thou wert thirstie even vineger to drinke doe thou ease my griefe and hearken to my complaint Thou in thy humanitie diddest seele the wants of these out-ward things and knowest what griefe and anguish I suffer To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation 2. King 7.18 in the space of a night Thou art neither confined to time nor tyed to the meanes thou canst send mee comfort even above my hopes Lord either send mee plenty or blesse my want that so I may willingly submitt to thy pleasure and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed Though my body languish for want of sustenance yet fill thou my soule with the riches of thy goodnesse Amos. 8.11 2. Chr. 15.3 O let mee never be cursed with a famine of thy word Let mee never be as once the Israëlites were without thee the true God without a teaching Priest and without law Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man let not my soule want it's spirituall nourishment whereby it should be fed to a life immortall It was thy meate ô Christ Io 4.34 to doe the will of him that sent thee and to finish his worke Graunt ô Iesus that I may follow thy stepps and make it my foode and my delight to fullfill thy commandements Let mee not labour here for the meate that perisheth c. 6.27 so much as for that meate which endureth to everlasting life My body is thine dispose of it as thou pleasest My soule is thine preserve it in holinesse Lord be gratious to mee thy child Gen. 43 29. and comfort mee now in this greate extreamitie that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance nor despaire of thy providence but that wholly relying upon thy gratious goodnesse I may suffer with thankfullnesse whatsoëver thou pleasest and then that my sufferances may end in happinesse Heare mee blessed God and help mee for the worthinesse of thy Sonne in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen THE THIRD SOLILOQUIE Treating of thirst both bodily and ghostly THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe Prophet bewayling the distressed estate of afflicted Sion complainth thus Lam. 4.4 The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roofe of his mouth for thirst the young children aske bread and noe man breaketh it unto them They that did feede delicately are desolate in the streetes vers 5. they that were brought up in scarlet embrace the dunghills Grievous was that miserie the infants endured who neither knew how to complaine nor where to be satisfied Their tongues which in time might relate the storie were scorched with the drought and heate of thrist Those litle members which as yet were not un ruely found a punishment as if they had offended The mothers lamenting the torments of the young ones offered them drinke from the fountaines of their eyes but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents that their thirst increased by that which should quench it Surely the miserie was greate which the babes could not utter since mine is so severe that I thinke it ineffable The more I complaine the more thirstie I am for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought Iam. 3.6 The tongne that is un-ruely is set on fire of hell but mine is silent and yet it scorcheth That litle moisture which is left in my mouth is growne so glutenous
send out sight of sorrow 1. King 19.11 and the Lord shall be in the wind And with that wind shall be an earth-quake my enlivened earth shall quake with feare of the judgments of my God so the Lord shall be likewise in the earth-quake And with that earth-quake shall be fire vers 12 even the fire of love and zeale together so the Lord shall be in that fire And with that fire shall be a still small voyce and unto the Lord shall that voyce be directed for to him will I looke and pray and say The Prayer All-mighty Lord ever-lasting father who hast beene pleased to vouch safe mee the blessings of this life and to give mee my desires both in a husband and children be pleased to give mee a thankfull heart for these thy mercies It is thy goodnesse and not my merit that I have receaved from thee these blessings of thy bountie Iustly ô most justly mightest thou at once deprive mee of these comforts because I have neglected my obedience to the one and my care of the other Humbly ô my God and with a bleeding heart I confesse my faylings and am sorrie for mine offences Lord be gracious to mee thy servant It is thy hand alone which hath preserved mee from the foule offences which many commit for without thy protection by nature I am noe better then that strange woman Pro 2.17 who forsaketh the guide of her youth and forgetteth the covenant of her God By nature I am carnally worse by farre then were Aholah and Aholibah spiritually who committed whoredomes in their youth Eze 23 3. Lord make mee ever acknowledg this thy protection and testifie my thankfullnesse in my industrious care to performe my dutyes Be thou stil the protectour and the gracious defender both of mee and mine Blesse him whom thou hast sett over mee and graunt that hee may dwell with mee according to knowledg 1. Pet. 3.7 that so wee being heires together of the grace of life our prayers may not be hindered As thou hast made mee a fruitfull vine by the walls of his house so make mee endeavour to be fruitfull in good workes Ps 128.3 Col 1.10 Ps 128 3. Ps 52.8 Prov. 19.14 c 5.18 Ps 141.3 Prov. 11.16 c 12.4 c 14.1 c 31.10 vers 30 and increase to be fruitfull in good Workes and increase in the knowledg of thee my God Let those Olive branches about my table be every one of them like a greene Olive in the house of thee ô my God and trust in thy mercy for ever and ever Make mee to my husband a prudent wife as sent from thee that hee may rejoyce with mee the wife of his youth To this purpose set â watch ô Lord before my mouth and keepe the doore of my lippes Make mee a gracious woman retaining honour that I may be a crowne to my husband a wise woman labouring to build up my house and familie and a vertuous woman fearing thee Heare mee ô my God and graunt mee my petitions for the worthinesse of him who is an indulgent husband to his Spouse the Church even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 10 THE TENTH SUBJECT Teares of an Aged woman The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe dayes of our age are three-score yeeres and ten Ps 90.10 saith David and if by reason of strength they be foure-score yeeres yet is their strength labour and sorrow for it is soone cut off and wee flee away Lord how true diddest thou speake by the mouth of that Prophet True I find it who have now accomplished the number of so many yeeres My strength is labour not because of any paines which I take but onely by reason of the paines which I suffer Age hath beene allwayes freed from worke because it suffereth more in a languishing weakenesse then the young and lustie doe in their travells Num 8 24. From twentie and five yeeres old and upward the Levites were required to wayte upon the service of the Tabernacle of the congregation vers 25 And from the age of fiftie yeeres they were to cease wayting upon the service thereof and to serve noe more God will have the best of our time yea all for his service But alasse the custome is too common among us to serve our selves at least untill fiftie and it may be then or not so soone wee thinke upon God But why should wee not rather render the yeeres of our strength to the God of our strength Ps 43.2 The fault which I complaine of is too frequent among others but can I excuse my selfe from the guilt thereof I now beginne to thinke upon the service of my God when through age I am noe more able to serve my selfe Every thing disturbeth and tormenteth my aged limbes even my very apparell becometh a burden O why doe people so fondly desire to live to be aged Have the gray haires delight or the parched and dryed body any pleasure Alasse noe I find it hath not This this is the time which the Preacher speaketh of Eccl 12.2 Now the Sunne and the light and the moone and the starres are darkened and the clowdes returne after the raine The beautie of the countenance which shined like the Sunne the skiecolloured eyes the apples of those eyes which sparkeled like the Starres are growen dimme and obscure The eye-lidds are filled with waters like a swollen cloude labouring in the deliverie of it's mournefull burden Pleasures and delights and joyes and merriments have now with-drawne the lustre of their glory and paines and dolours and griefes and sadnesse have benighted my feeble and crazie body Now the keepers of the house tremble vers 3. and the strong men bowe themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and those that looke out of the windowes be darkened My knees which were the supporters of this walking dust begin to creeckle and tremble under their oppressing burden Mine armes and hands have forgotten their stedfastnesse and quake and faint in the execution of their just commands The teeth which prepared the meate for the stomack are fled away from their narrow chambers and left the open doores the hollow gummes in trust to mock my desires Those eyes which once could dazell the spectatours sate proudly in their thrones darting their rayes upon their desired objects have now the curtaines of age drawne over their flames and the vayle of antiquitie eclipseth their glory Now the doores are shut in the streetes vers 4. and the sound of the grinding is lowe and here is rising up at the voyce of the bird and the daughters of musick are brought low My feete are afflicted with lamenesse that they cannot any longer carie mee into the streetes The sound of the grinding
ghost c 25.8 and dyed in a good old age Iud 8.32 1. Chr 29.28 Gen 23 1. vers 2. an old man full of yeeres and was gathered to his people Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age David dyed in a good old age full of dayes riches and honour Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath arba These and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages lay downe in the dust and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse the citty of my God why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse Dye I must but when or where or how I can not determine Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous I shall dye their death Num 23.10 and receave their reward As neere as I am to my longest home I am not assured what death I shall dye neither by what disease nor with what torments or ease Gen 42.38 Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave When David gave Solomon a charge concerning Ioab hee commanded him 1. King 2.6 saying Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him vers 9. saying His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience Deut 28.49 vers 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them which should not regard the person of the oldâ— nor shew favour to the young I have noe more priviledg nor prerogative then they unlesse I can prove that I am better then they Nay more the manner or the kind of death though never so tormenting is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence My death may be troublsome and sull of miserie and yet my doome may be full of horrour O what shall I doe What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled The more yeeres I have lived the more sinnes I have committed The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes then they did unto him Few Gen 47.9 and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with What shall I doe to pacifie my God against whom my sinnes and offences have beene committed Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes and noe blood can appease him but the blood of his Sonne and noe share can I have in that most precious blood unlesse I seriously and faithfully repent mee of my sinnes Lord Is 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch Behold I am a drie tree yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree as the obdurate rockes O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares and a heart full of groanes If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely and acceptable repentance even that teare ô God would I readily offer thee Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule and am seriously and heartily offended at my selfe for offending thee Accept ô God the throbs of my fainting heart and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne O Lord I sigh ô Lord I grieve My heart panteth my bowells yerne and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres Io. 5.5 I will lye at the gate of thy mercy ô Iesus and there will I weepe and grieve and lament and call and cry for mercy at thy hands ô blessed Redeemer and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie and devotion praying and saying The Prayer MErcifull Lord God Is 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from the belly and the wombe vers 4. even to old age and hoary haires despise not the humble suite of thine aged and feeble servant My many yeeres I must confesse I have spent in vanitie and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service as I ought to have done Every day have I offended thee and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes My child-hood hath beene full of folly my youth of stubbornesse my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse and mine old and aged dayes to coveteousnesse and impenitencie Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse But now ô father since thou hast spared mee so long doe not condemne mee at the last Let the heavie heart and the trembling tongue and the shaking hands and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes With thy mercy Iob. 4.4 Ps 35.3 Ps 39.4 ô Lord strengthen my weake hands support my feeble knees comfort my drooping heart and say unto my soule I am thy salvation Lord make mee to know mine end and the measure of my dayes that I may know how fraile I am vers 5. Ps 93.2 Ps 102.27 Ps 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee for thou art from everlasting and thy yeeres shall not faile O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer for when thou art angry all our dayes are gone wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told Ps 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age forsake mee not now my strength faileth mee Though the heavens Is 51.6 and the â—earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment and they that dwell therein shall dye yet thy salvation shall be for ever and thy righteousnesse shall not be abolished Ps 43.3 Ps 71.18 Ps 23.4 Ps 62.7 Prov. 23.22 O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old and gray headed ô my staffe and thou who art the onely rock of strength forsake mee not Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them and not to despise their mothers when they are old O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption that I may hearken unto thee and never despise or forsake thy commandements Make mee allways remember thy workes ô Lord Ps 77.11 and call to mind thy wonders of old time Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse Tit 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient and decrepid but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good Peaceably ô my father Iob. 5.26 let mee come to my grave in a full age like as a shock of corne cometh in in his season By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth
yet our sorrowes doe greatly exceede their sufferances Certainly wee suffer more because wee were first in the first offence and for our forwardnesse both to consult with the Serpent and to tempt the man our portion is the greater in pangs and throwes Wee are driven to such extreamities that either wee must be tormented in our issue or else reproached for our barrennesse Surely had Eve but beene sensible of the least smart of a travelling woman shee would have continued in integritie for feare of the punishment Gen 2.17 Our first parents were threatned but with dying the death in the day they did eate of the tree of knowledg but I mee thinks doe find that that curse is increased for death will not come without the societie of paines There is something of that punishment in the paines which prepare us for the entertainment of death something in the very instant of the soul's departure and yet unlesse our mercifull Redeemer take pitty upon us the greatest of all will be in a second death Of the first paines I am now made most accurately sensible in the second I must agree with the children of Eve but from the last I have an assured hope that my God will deliver mee Oh my paines my paines grow stronger and stronger What shall I doe Strengthen mee ô Iesus and enable mee to suffer with constancy and patience what I must endure for a child Elizabeth was not come to the hower of torment when Lu 1.24 vers 25 hiding her selfe for five moneths together shee rejoyced and sayd Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee to take away my reproach among men Yet are these pangs more desireable then the reproach of barrennesse not for themselves but for their happie event Barrennesse produceth shame and discontent but fruitfullnesse produceth sorrow with comfort The barren desire what they partake not of the fruitfull may have content in that which causeth their torments By us the kingdome of heaven is increased by them the world seemeth ready to expire But whence doth this fruitfullnesse accrow unto us If it were onely and meerely from our selves then I suppose that none would be barren If it be a blessing sent from God I wonder at the wicked for the Psalmist saith They are full of children Ps 17.14 and leave the rest of their substance for their babes But I neede not wonder if I either consider the fore-goeing words where the Prophet saith They have their portion in this life or if I remember that it is in the power of God even from them to produce some vessells of honour Israël was threatned by Moses saying Deut 28.15 It shall come to passe if thou wilt not hearken unto the voyce of the Lord thy God that Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body vers 18 O how full of horrour assuredly was this to the women of Israël that those children should be sentenced to eternall weeping for whom their mothers had cryed in the anguish of their births Such ô such there are and allways shall bee even to the end of the world as shall draw teares from the eyes of the weaker parent both in the extreamitie of the throwes and in the feare of their destruction Surely such wieked children as those if any shall have cause to expostulate as did the patient Iob Iob. 3.11 vers 12 and cry Why dyed I not from the wombe Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the beliy Why did the knees prevent mee or why the beeasts that I should suck c 10.18 Wherefore hast thou brought mee forth out of the wombe Oh that I had given up the ghost and noe eye had seene mee Or they may say as once did the Prophet Ieremiah Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ier. 20.14 vers 15 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father saying A man-child is borne unto thee making him very glad vers 16 And let that man be as the citties which the Lord overthrew and repented not and let him heare the cry in the morning and the showting at noone-tide vers 17 because hee slew mee not from the wombe or that my mother might have beene my grave and her wombe to be allways greate with mee vers 18 Wherfore came I forth out of the wombe to see labour and sorrow that my dayes should be consumed with shame But I will hope better things of mine and beseech my God that it may be like unto Paul who speaketh of himselfe saying Gal 1.15 vers 16 God did seperate mee from my mother's wombe and called mee by his grace to reveale his sonne in mee c. Oh my paines grow sharper and sharper and are strong remembrancers of the pollution even of conception But there is a conception as well Spirituall as Carnall I must therfore examine Whether the wombe of my heart hath not conceaved sinne Iob. 15 35. Is 33.11 for these pangs arise not without foregoeing wickednesse The hypocrites sayth Iob doe conceave mischiefe The enemies of the church sayth the Prophet Isaiah shall conceave chaffe If therfore with the hypocrites c. 59.4 I have conceaved mischiefe I feare that with them too I have brought forth-vanity and my belly hath prepared deceit If with the sinfull Iewes I have not called for justice nor pleaded for trueth if I have trusted in vanity and have spoken lyes then I feare that with them too I have conceaved mischife and brought forth iniquity If with the enemies of the church I have conceaved chaffe then I feare that with them too I have brought forth stubble and I may justly suspect that my breath as fire shall devoure it Ps 7.14 If which the ungodly I have travelled with iniquity and have conceaved mischiefe then I feare that with them too I have brought forth falsehood Thus if I have joyned with the hypocrites if with the enemies of the church if with the sinfull Iewes if with the ungodly or if I have trusted in vanity what then can I looke for but that having conceaved all kind of abominations I should with the wicked man travell with paine all my dayes Iob. 15.20 Thus I must confesse I have beene forward in the conception of all manner of evill and the production hath beene even as quick as the thought Ex 1.19 I may say of my selfe as the Mid-wives sayd once to angry King Pharaoh concerning the Hebrew women I have beene lively and have beene delivered of my grievous crimes ere any midwife came in unto mee I have beene both father and mother and mid-wife and nurse and every thing else to bring the abortive bratts of impietie into the world What now can I expect therfore but that I should dye in anguish and that my child which I goe with should be at once both mine
may passe from miferie to eternall happinesse Heare Lord have mercy both upon mee and mine and graunt my petitions for the worthinesse of that most mercifull and most blessed sonne of a woman thine onely begotten Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen soliloquy 2 2. ly Teares of a woman after her deliverie from the paines of Child-birth The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Woman Io 16.21 when shee is in travell hath sorrow because her hower is come but as soone as shee is delivered of the child she remembreth noe more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world O how truely doeth my heavenly Iesus describe both his mercy and my comfort I who ere while was full of anguish and teares am now with comfort brought againe to my bed I who had allmost despaired of mercy in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer Mee think's I could weepe because I wept so much and grieve because my cryes did savour of distrust Many teares did I shed through the anguish which I suffered but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs I will begge for pardon at the hands of him who sent mee this ease and then I will thanke him for his bountie in sending mee this child Prettie infant the beginning of his cryes was the end of mine and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet againe I receave Hee is parted from my wombe to be caried in mine armes and he who before was the burden of my bowells now is made the delight of mine eyes Now with a greater comfort I hope then the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne I may rejoyce and say I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen 4.1 1. Chr 4.9 Gen 35.18 True it is that I might call him a Iabez because I bare him with sorrow I might name him Ben oni because hee was the sonne of mine affliction and sorrowes but I will rather with Iacob call him Benjamin the sonne of my right hand O how gratious was my God unto mee in that hee sent mee a mid-wife to helpe mee neighbours to comfort mee a house to cover mee a fire to warme mee and now a bed to ease mee The mother of my Lord had not an house but a stable onely Lu 2.7 for there was noe roome in the Inne Her holy child was layed but in a manger whereas mine is in a cradle yet I am wicked I am sinfull and uncleane yea and this babe is not borne without originall pollution But I will begge of the Lord that with Simeon I may take up my Iesus in mine armes vers 28 or rather in my heart and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soule so hee will embrace mee in the armes of his mercy Mee think's when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males Ex 1.16 I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women It might seeme a sinne in them to desire sonnes seeing they knew that their birth was but a stepp to their graves Those mercifull hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes The women were to be as cruell in their murders as the King was in his commands and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions and not styled murders They had a command to put in practise what was so horrid and barbarous whereupon they were perplexed to thinke that either they must necessarily disobey authoritie or else destroy those who had not offended It is true that if God had commanded it the act had beene righteous Gen. 22 2. Abraham not onely may but must be the priest to sacrifice his sonne his onely sonne Isaak when God requireth it But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth wee must be more ready to suffer then to obey those commands When wee dare not doe what wee are unjustly commanded wee must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us O how grievously was Iochebed perplexed in her miseries Ex 2.3 when for feare lest her Moses should be slaine according to the decree shee was enforced to expose him to the brinke of the river That child whom shee could noe longer hide shee was faine to cradle up in an arke of bull-rushes Thus shee who durst not keepe her infant adventured upon a trade which shee never had learned but her directour was his preserver Surely the teares which shee shed for feare of his death did perswade the river to carie him alive for shee so bribed the torrent with the droppes from her eyes that it tooke more compassion then the heart of the tyrant One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrowes and her feares Mee think 's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty but where grace is wanting every thing that should check the petulancie of sinne doe's but give vigour to the execution thereof There was a sorrowfull mother weeping for feare of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life and there was a child too crying as if it had beene either sensible of the cruelty of the salvage tyrant or else struck with compassion for the tender mother The cryes of both were so lowd and so just that they pierced the clowdes and were heard up to heaven and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seeke to destroy The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter and ignorantly as well as compassionately shee put him to nurse to his indulgent mother O what cannot God doe when hee decreeth to act His justice is severe and potent Ps 145 9. but his mercy which is over all his workes is full of goodnesse and wonder Hee who preserved Moses hath saved this infant and I hope hee hath chosen him for a vessell of honour Zacharias was promised that hee should have joy and gladnesse in Iohn the Baptist Luc. 1.14 I will hope for the like in this new-borne babe and I will begge of my Lord that hee may be beloved of him Him I must magnifie for the deliverance of my selfe and him I must thanke both for the shape the life of my child My wombe might have proved the grave of mine infant and my selfe the sepulcher of a child unseene I might have dyed in the birth of this which I embrace and the litle infant ignorant of my cryes might unwittingly have beene the destroyer of his mother Or else I might have lived
the throne of my God Be sure thou doest it for I will have a watch over my mouth and at the doores of my lipps that I may be certaine thou offend nor As for the rest of my selfe since I cannot stay now to give every part a charge in particular I shall command them onely to attend the pleasure of my royall guest Onely my thoughts I must commit to the tuition of my heart allthough it formerly hath beene false unto mee and desirous I am that they may be pressed pressed downe with greate and heavie burdens But I charge thee ô my Heart if ever thou hopest to be mine owne deere Heart that thou suffer not an imagination not a thought to come neere thee but what shall be commended unto thee by religion and what thou shalt dispatch to thy Maker And now I am prepared for thee Wellcome ô my God If my roomes are not cleane enough for thee I must intreate from thee both direction and assistance to cleanse then If any dust of wickednesse hath flowne about in the sweeping of them I will now give my mind to wash my chambers with the teares of mine eyes and that I know thou delightest in O thrice well-come blessed God Wellcome ô well-come my deerest Redeemer O how truely did the Kingly preacher affirme that Eccl 7.2 It is better to goe to the house of mourning then to goe to the house of feasting for that is the end of all and the living will lay it to heart My house is shut up indeede it is shut up for the infection for feare of the infection for feare lest others should infect my familie or for feare lest my familie should be insectious to others But what of all that I am not the first that ever was shut up I am not the onely one that ever was shut up Lev 13 4. vers 5. The Leper in the law was to be shut up seaven dayes and at the seaven dayes end when the Priest looked on him if the plague in his sight were at a stay and spreaded not in the skinne hee was to shut him up yet seaven dayes more This shutting up was rather for his cure then intended for his hurt Gen 7.16 Noah was sayd to be shut up in the Arke but it was for his preservation and so may I be likewise Ieremiah was shut up too Ier. 32.2 yea in a prison allthough his jayle was the house of the King and yet even at that time hee was visited by the best by one better then the King even by God himselfe for hee often spake to him in the time that hee was shut up c 33.1 Thus am I shut up even in a prison made of my dwelling I hope that my God will speake comfortably unto mee I will hope that hee hath shut mee up as a jewell in a cabinet in his care in his tender compassion If so I am sure that noe evill shall come in unto mee for hee is holy hee is true hee is powerfull who hath mee in keeping Reu 3.7 Hee hath the key of David hee openeth and noe man shutteth and hee shutteth and noe man openeth True it is that sometimes hee shutteth out as when hee shutteth out from his eares the prayers of his people Thus the faithfull complaine by the mouth of the Prophet Lam 3 8. When I cry and showte hee shutteth out my prayers Sometimes hee shutteth up and that in judgment too as Hee shutteth up the eyes of idolaters Is 44.18 that they cannot see and their hearts that they cannot understand And sometimes man shutteth too even when hee is forsaken of God for so saith the wise King A violent man shutteth his eyes to devise froward things Prov 16.30 And againe God is sayd sometimes in judgment to shut up even heaven it selfe as in a time of drought Therfore Moses adviseth the Israëlites saying Deut 11.16 Take heede to your selves that your heart be not deceaved and yee turne aside and serve other Gods and worship them vers 17 And then the Lord's wrath be kindled against you and hee shut up the heaven that there be noe raine and that the land yeeld not her fruit and lest yee perish quickly from off the good land which the Lord giveth you But sure I am that allthough hee should shut mee up in judgment yet hee whose compassions faile not Lam 3.22 Hab 3.2 vers 5. in the midst of judgment will remember mercy I know that in former times hee hath beene angry and then before him went a Pestilence and burning coales went forth at his feete I know that once when the people of Israel had offended then the sword was without Eze 7.15 and the Pestilence and the famine within hee that was in the field was threatned that hee should die with the sword and hee that was in the citty famine and Pestilence should devoure him I know that Elijah Prophesied against Iehoram in writing saying 2. Chr 21.12 Thus saith the Lord Because thou hast not walked in the wayes of Iehoshaphat thy father nor in the wayes of Asa King of Iudah vers 14 Behould with a greate plague will the Lord smite thy people and thy children and thy wives and all thy goods vers 15 And thou shalt have greate sicknesse by disease of thy bowells untill thy bowells fall out by reason of the sicknesse day by day Iob 11.10 And I know allso that if hee cut off and shut up or gather together none can hinder him But what then What though hee hath shut mee up Shall I therfore rage and rave like one distracted c. 30.29 vers 30 What though I am a sister to Dragons and a companion to Owles VVhat though my skinne should be black upon mee and my bones be burnt up with heate c. 3.3 Should I therfore cry Let the day perish wherein I was borne and the night in which it was sayd There is a child conceaved O noe I will rather resolve with afflicted Iob Though hee slay mee yet will I trust in him c. 13.15 Why should I offer to be dismayed That God which dwelleth in the heavens hath taken up my house and is come to sojourne with mee upon earth I will speake in the phrase of a King But will God indeede dwell on the earth 1. King 8.27 Behold the heaven and heaven of heavens cannot conteine thee how much lesse this house of mine which thou now doest visit O what a happinesse it is to have God for our visitant Though hee cometh in wrath yet is hee well-come O let mee have my God any way rather then not have him at all If hee should not sometimes be angry with mee I should suspect that hee loved mee not but if for ever hee should be angry with mee I should feele that hee loved mee not Hee is never angry with mee but when I am not angry with my selfe I will
healeth Ex 15.26 Psl 6.2 Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord for I am weake ô Lord heale mee for my bones are vexed Ps 41.3 Ier 17.14 Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing make thou all my bed in my sicknesse Heale mee o Lord and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise c 30.12 O let not my bruise be incurable though my wound be grievous Let mee have one to pleade my cause vers 13 even that Holy One thine onely begotten Sonne that hee may bind mee up and give mee healing medicines Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure vers 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished Thou rebukest mee for my sinne Ps 39.11 and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit Rev 13.17 Ps 86.16 Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast but the marke of thy sonne that hee may owne mee for his O turne thou unto mee and have mercy upon mee give thy strength unto thy servant and save thy distressed hand-mayd Shew now some good token for good vers 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee and comfort mee But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers make mee with joy comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven earth Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death Is 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions bruised for mine iniquites the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him by his stripes therfore let mee be healed In the midst of the streete of thy throne ô God Reu 22.2 of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life Ps 41.4 Ps 103 1. Be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities vers 3. and canst heale my diseases Into thine hands I commend my spirit Ps 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thou God of trueth The Spirit and the bride say Come Reu 22.17 therfore let mee who now heare it say Come Let mee heare thy voyce ô God Gen 3.8 in the coole of the day not in the heate of thy displeasure And thou ô my Iesus who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree and heare and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant Come ô Iesus and embrace mee in thine armes hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father In thee alone doe I trust to thee alone doe I flee succour mee helpe mee save mee O Christ The world I leave to thee I come At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock I call I cry Lord protect mee Iesus comfort mee Strengthen my faith and confirme my hope As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits Heb 12 9. O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour and Redeemer Amen subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT shall come to passe saith Moses to the house of Israel if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God Deut 28.15 to observe to doe all his commandements and his statutes which I command thee this day that all these curses shall come upon thee and overtake thee vers 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the citty and cursed shalt thou be in the field Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store vers 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body c. vers 18 What all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for It cryeth for the curse of the citty the decay of trading the curse of the field whole rivers of blood in furious battailes the curse of the basket and the store the dearth of provisions Yet all these are but outward punishments and reflect onely upon the baser the worse part of our selves the body but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body oh this biteth like a Serpent stingeth like a Cockatrice Prov 23.32 The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction Yes yes my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt let my tongue be as ready to confesse it and my heart to repent of it But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour Gen 18.25 Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Eze 18 20. Mich 7 6. Ier 9.20 neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne but the soule that sinneth it shall dye Else the daughter might rise up against her mother as saith the Prophet and the women by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes might teach their daughters wayling c 31.29 Rom 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge But let God be true and every man a lyar that hee may be justified in his sayings and may over-come when hee is judged Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him The sinne is mine Ex 20.5 but the punishment is mine infant's againe the sinne is mine infant's and the punishment is mine And yet farther The sinne is of and from both and the punishment is inflicted upon both His sufferance is my sorrow and his paines my distresse Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment My child as yet it may be knoweth not sinne and yet is hee punished
mind Though I have lost my husband yet still I have my God Hee is and will be mine so long as I remaine and continue his What though I misse my head my deceased Lord my dead husband in every place What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table and therfore I sigh What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life and therfore I grieve What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life and therfore mourne I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter but if I grieve too much I shall but discover that there was folly in my love and that there is dispaire in my teares Hee was not mine but God's and with him hee liveth It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth that I may hope assuredly that hee 's a saint in heaven and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him Hee who lent mee him can furnish mee with another or else give mee content with this single life Hee was not my choyce but God's If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs and I will be thankfull to my God because hee once did lend mee so good a directour I will by his blessing live a widow with content and quietnesse untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world If I marrie noe more the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man even my religion it selfe without the mercy of my God might receave some prejudice But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide and direct mee Thus that I may live in the love of my God and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings Ier. 31.32 and be a husband unto mee as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer BLessed God thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband Is 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow Thou knowest how irksome and full of forrowes this solitarie life is thou viewest my sad and dis-consolate condition O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart thy comforts ô Lord Ps 94.19 may refresh my soule It is thy promise that Prov. 15.25 though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow Iob. 24.21 yea though they stay the widow and murder the fatherlesse Ps 94.6 Ps 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse and defend the cause of the widow even thou ô God who dwellest in thine holy habitations Iob. 22.9 O send not then a poore and distressed widow away emptie but be pleased to be my Gâ—… my guide and my counsellour Make mee 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my wayes to rely upon thee iâ— all my sorrowes to sue unto thee in all mâ— wants Eph. 4.24 Ps 89.22 and firmely to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousnesse and true holinesse Let not thâ— oppressour exact upon mee nor the Sonne 〈◊〉 wickednesse doe mee harme but doe thoâ— allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings Be thou my directour in all my wayes that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood or be ordered by thee to change my condition and be joyned againe in holy wedlock I may sue for thy counsell and be seconded with thy blessing But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented Lu. 2.37 and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse not departing from thy temple but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes causing my heart to sing for joy Iob. 29.13 that so though mine afflictions are many and my desolate condition be full of perturbations and anxious thoughts yet I may so cleave unto thee that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents Could nature become so silent in children that they should forget the honour due to progeâ—itours Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers that did beget him Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression but ay mee the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duety is snatched from mee Oâ— hee that begat mee is dead hee that tooke caâ— to breede mee hee that supplyed my wants bâ— that instructed mee in religion hee that defenâ—… mee from injuries hee whose labour indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child Prov. 4 3. I was oh I may say I was my father's child tender and onely beloved of my mother But now where ô where is that man of affection Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee who so deerely affectâ— mee Sick hee was dead hee is But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service Gen 48 1. obedience Did I visit him in his sicknesse as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying Behold thy father iâ— sick hee
ceremeniall law yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses Num. 6 1. vers 2. saying Say unto the children of Israel when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite to seperate themselves unto the Lord vers 6. all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body vers 7. hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father or for his mother for his brother or for his sister when they dye because the consecration of his God is upon his head Yet whereas the law said Eze 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves it ran with this exception But for father or for mother or for sonne or for daughter for brother or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves And againe concerning the common people the law provideth saying Num 19.16 Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields or a dead bodie or a bone of a man or a grave shall be uncleane but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel I may touch my dead parent and embrace him yea and kisse him at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body And so I will and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations I will purifie I will wash it away with the bath of my teares Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave yet they have power both to discover mine affection and to satisfie my desires Heb 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe This indeede is too much for mee to expect yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women who were afterward thus comforted But then I must be just in my mourning As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares so must my religion be manifested in my moderation It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced when hee said Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning Ier. 16.7 to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father or for their mother I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes lamentations but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters Nature indeede may be seene in a teare and heard in a sigh but if those teares be too many or those sighes too frequent or too lowde my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe and his condition is full of joy and delight why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost why should I grieve too immoderately as if I despaired of a father Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes and can dye noe more onely I am on earth in a valley of teares but I shall have a time to dye too and be gathered unto him In heaven saith Saint Iohn there shall be noe more death Reu. 21.4 neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things are passed away My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world Luc. 20 35. the resurrection from the dead neither marrie nor are given in mariage neither can they dye any more vers 36 for they are equall unto the Angells and are the children of God being the children of the resurrection VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good I shall one day learne with holy Iob Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father and to the worme Thou art my mother and my sister There is yet something earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock Ier 2.27 Thou art my father to a stone Thou hast brought mee forth This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence But more impious it would prove if I should reject my heavenly father and insteed of him I should honour as Israel did a stock or a stone The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent the more must be my obedience to the father of lights Iam. 1.17 Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth If my trust be in God my comforts will abound my sorrowes will decrease If my name be written among the righteous my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse so that they relyed on his providence and served him with faithfullnesse Ps 27.10 Ps 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake mee saith the Psalmist then the Lord will take mee up a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation O that I might have the honour to be his child that so I might justly call him father O that I could truely say unto him Thou art my father my God Ps 89.26 Is 63.16 Ier. 3.19 2. Cor. 6.18 and the rock of my salvation O that I could faithfully say Thou ô Lord art my father my Redeemer thy name is from ever-lasting O that I could call him my father and not turne away from him His mercies are greate his promises are full of comfort I will be a father unto you and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it for hee is pure but I am un-cleane but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood Hee is righteous but I am sinfull but I will confesse my wickednesse Ps 38.18 and be sorrie for my sinnes and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon Lord though I have beene thine enemie thou canst make mee thy friend though I have hated thee thou canst incline mee to love thee though I have beene rebellious thou
seldome is love forgotten in the mother of children Cant. 3 6. in whom it is commonly as strong as death vers 7. for many waters cannot quench it neither can the floods drowne it Much therfore I cannot blame the wife of Zebedeus for the fervency of her affection to her beloved Sonnes All that shee erred in was both in the thing shee requested and in the person to whom shee tendered her petition Surely without offence I may likewise besiech my mercifull Saviour that hee will be pleased to undertake the protection of my young ones It is a petition more proper for mee then her's was for her for shee was living and might have beene a comfort unto them but I am dying I am leaving the world I lye drawingon and wayting for that blessed hower of my Saviours comeing All that is left mee now to doe is onely to blesse them before my departure and this is the best legacie that I can bequeath unto them I must I will blesse them by the leave and favour of my God yet not as from my selfe but onely from God not as thinking that my power can purchase their happinesse but praying to him that his blessing may prosper them Thus by faith did dying Iacob blesse both the Sonnes of Ioseph Heb. 11 21. and worshipped leaning upon the top of his staffe Thus old Isaak said unto Esau his Sonne Gen. 27 2. vers 3. Behold now I am old I know not the day of my death now therfore take I pray thee thy we opons thy quiver and thy bowe and goe out to the field and take mee some venison vers 4. and make mee savourie meate such as I love and bring it to mee that I may eate that my soule may blesse thee before I dye Thus Isaak blessed Iacob and said c 28.3 God All-mighty blesse thee and make thee fruitfull and multiplie thee that thou mayest be a multitude of people c. 49.28 Thus Iacob blessed the twelve tribes when hee spake unto them and blessed them every one according to his blessing hee blessed them c 31.55 Thus Laban even in the time of his health rose up early in the morning and kissed his Sonnes and his daughters and blessed them and then departed and returned to his place Yea thus even Moses who was but a leader of the people and not so neerely linked unto them by the bonds of nature blessed them and sayd Deut. 1 11. The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as yee are and blessed you as hee hath promised you Thus the same Moses againe drawing neere to the time of his leaving the world c. 33.1 with his blessing did blesse the children of Israel before his death Thus when the dayes of David drew neere that hee should dye 1. King 2.1 hee gave a charge and a blessing to his beloved Sonne Solomon And noe marveile since it is most true that hee whom God blesseth is blessed Num 22.6 and hee whom hee curseth is cursed The blessing of a parent is nothing but a prayer to the giver of good things Iam. 1.17 that hee may be pleased to send his blessing on their issue Mee thinks therfore the words of Samuel which hee sayd unto the people doe take a deepe impression in my breast 1. Sam. 12.23 for hee sayd God forbid that I should sinne against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you With leave then of my God I will see my children and I will kisse them as Laban did his and I will likewise blesse them The Lord direct mee in my prayers for them and the Lord accept my prayers grant my requests which I shall make unto him for them part 2 The Second part being the benediction or blessing it selfe ending in a prayer MY deerest children yee whom I love in the tender yerning bowells of affection draw neere and attend to the words of your dying mother A weake woman yee see I am but yet sinfull I am which peradventure yee see not O weepe not my prettie ones doe not pierce and breake my troubled heart with your sad laments I must dye my litle ones and goe to a better place whither yee I hope shall one day follow mee Wee came not together into the world nor shall wee goe together out of it In vaine doe yee shed those teares of sorrow for allthough nature teacheth you to bewayle my departure yet grace will teach you to moderate your mourning My heart even bleede's to leave you behind mee fearing lest yee will forget the commandements of your God I should be sorrie to have just cause to say unto you as Moses did to the Levites yet I will put you in mind of his words Deut. 31.27 Behold sayd hee while I am yet alive with you this day yee have beene rebellious against the Lord vers 29 how much more after my death I know that after my death yee will utterly corrupt your selves and turne aside from the way which I commanded you and evill will befall you in the latter dayes because yee will doe evill in the sight of the Lord Heb. 6.9 to provoke him to anger through the worke of your hands But I am perswaded better things of you and things that accompanie salvation though I thus speake O my deare ones hearken unto the words which I shall say They must be my legacie unto you heare mee with patience and treasure up in your memories the last speech of your fainting your dying mother How deare yee cost mee before yee had life and what pangs and torments I suffered for you before yee were heard or seene in the world yee cannot imagine nor I expresse Yet all was forgotten for joy that yee were borne Ioa 16.21 and hoping that yee would adde unto the quire of Saints To this purpose I have laboured and taken care for the nourishment both of your soules bodies and for your sustentation so much as in mee lay from the breast to this instant O what sad and perplexed thoughts have I had for you in the day times and how many howers have I borrowed from my sleepe in the nights to thinke what would become of you if yee should not be obedient to the commandements of my God! To the same God they are best knowne O how often upon my knees have I prayed for your happinesse and wept and mourned when yee have done what yee ought not To him is it best knowne to whom I now am goeing Sometimes when yee have offended I was enforced to correct you but each stripe which yee receaved did cut mee into the heart In many things yee failed because yee were young and in many things I failed too because I am a weake and a sinfull woman If at any time yee thought that I did not my duety take heede that hereafter yee remember it not to my dishonour Ponder in your
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
and rent my heart and amend my life Ioël 2.13 and faithfully rely upon the passion of my Redeemer I may then assure my selfe that hee will correct mee with judgment Ier 10 24. and not in his anger I know that dye I must but in him I earnestly desire to dye When I was in health I thought not of mortalitie and therfore now I am in sicknesse I can skarce so much as hope for immortalitie But I will beseech him to spare mee a litle that I may repent Ps 39.13 before I goe hence and be noe more seene I faine would live not that I might adde to my sinnes but that I might be sorrie for my sinnes I would faine continue here a litle longer that so I might make my peace the surer Long I have continued in wickednesse ô my God spare mee a litle time to spend in contrition If I may enjoy my life but for a litle longer space I will resolve by the grace of my God to dedicate it wholly to the service of him and that I may in some measure make up my repentance before my departure I will beseech him if it may stand with his immutable decree to lend mee a litle more time wherein by his grace I may labour my reconciliation with him My time of death indeede seemeth to draw nigh and yet I doe not consider or at least I have not considered that all this time which I have lived I have beene truely dead Surely thus I have beene for so saith King Solomon Prov. 21.16 The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remaine in the congregation of the dead Thus have I beene dead even in trespasses and sinnes justly therfore now my life doeth hasten away Eph 2.1 and my death approacheth I am now layed upon my bed of sorrow Not as the un-chast Amnon was 2. Sam. 13.5 who lingered after an un-cleane enjoying of his sister Tamar onely counterfeiting a sicknesse Nor like the coveteous Ahab 1. King 21.4 who vexed himselfe because Naboth had denyed to sell him his vine-yard 2. Sam. 4.7 Nor like Ishbosheth ready to be slaine by a Rechab and a Baanah unlesse my sinnes and my sicknesse the effect of my sinnes be that Rechab and that Baanah But languishing I lye allmost despairing of recoverie by reason of the weakenesse of my neere consumed body and spirits through the sharpnesse of my disease Is 14.11 My pompe is even brought downe to the grave and the noise of my violls the worme is spread under mee and the wormes are ready to cover mee But let mee say with holy Iob Iob 10 20. Are not my dayes few Cease then ô my God and let mee alone that I may take comfort a litle vers 21 Before I goe whence I shall not returne even to the land of darknesse and the shadow of death A land of darknesse vers 22 as darknesse it selfe and the shadow of death without any order and where the light is as darknesse There is noe worke nor device Eccl. 9.10 Ps 6.5 knowledg nor wisedome in the grave whither I am goeing In death there is noe remembrance of thee ô my God in the grave who shall give thee thank 's Ps 115.17 Is 38.18 The dead praise not thee ô Lord neither any that goe downeinto silence The grave cannot praise thee death cannot celebrate thee they that goe downe into the pit cannot hope for thy trueth vers 19 The living onely the living hee shall praise thee the father to the children shall make knowne thy trueth Thou thy selfe hast professed that thou art not a God of the dead Matt 22.32 Ps 88.10 vers 11 but of the living wilt thou then shew wonders to the dead Shall the dead arise and praife thee Shall thy loving kindnesse be declared in the grave Or thy faithfullnesse in destruction vers 12 Shall thy wonders be knowne in the darke And thy righteousnesse in the land of forgetfullnesse Consider then Ps 13.3 Ps 69.15 and heare mee ô Lord my God lighten mine eyes that I sleepe not in death Let not the water-flood over-flow mee neither let the deepe swallow mee up and let not the pit shut her mouth upon mee Heare mee ô Lord vers 16 for thy loving kindnesse is good turne unto mee according to the multitude of thy tender mercies 1. Sam 2.6 Thou art hee who doest both kill and make alive who bringest downe to the grave 2. King 4.20 bringest up againe When the Shunamite's child had sate on his mother's knees untill noone vers 21 it then departed but shee went up and layed him on the bed of the man of God vers 32 and shut the doore upon him and went out And when Elisha was come into the house behold the child was dead and laid upon his bed vers 33 hee went in therfore and shut the doore upon them twaine and prayed unto thee my greate and powerfull God vers 35 And the child neezed seaven times and the child opened his eyes Mat 9.18 When the ruler of the Synagogue worshipped my Saviour and sayd My daughter is even now dead but come and lay thine hand upon her and shee shall live vers 25 Then hee went in and tooke her by the hand and the mayd arose O my God to thee I submit my selfe doe with mee as thou pleasest In thy power it is to spare mee for a while It will not be harder for thee to restore mee to health then it was to restore the dead unto life Faine I would live longer that I may repent more Lord if it be thy pleasure adde yet some more dayes unto my life restore mee to health and make mee praise thee for thy mercies Longer I would not live unlesse thou shalt be pleased with my life to renew mine obedience and yet dye I would not unlesse thou shalt first be pleased to give mee a sense of my sinnes and a sorrow upon that sense and a comfortable and contenting joy upon that sorrow Thou art the potter and I am the clay allready thou hast made mee and it is now in thy power either to breake mee into sheards or to preserve mee whole I who have cryed so much in the extreamitie of mine anguish doe now beseech thee with my teares to spare mee Mat. 8.8 O speake the word onely and thy servant shall be healed But yet howsoëver I submit to thine owne good pleasure Lord if it may be thy will let the skill of my Phisitians and the power of my medicines and whatsoëver shall be administred unto mee take a blessing from thee if thou shalt restore mee againe to thee and to thy service will I devote my life My time shall be thine my dayes thine my thoughts my words and mine actions thine So shall thy mercy be magnified and thy praise I will be for ever singing and will
â—ever leave it 'till I have chased it away 'till 〈◊〉 have done my best to wash off the staine with my sorrowfull teares Gen 32 25. I will struggle with my God for the help of his grace and will not leave him untill hee assureth mee that my sinne is blotted out by the blood of the Lamb. For every offence that I can remember I will arise and goe to my father Lu. 15.18 with the teares standing in mine eyes and with dropps of blood falling from my heart in an earnest sharpe compunction In a loathing and detestation of my selfe for offending his Majestie I will humble my selfe and fall at his feete and with bashfullnesse and shame I will besiech him saying vers 18 vers 19 Father I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants I know hee will heare mee for so hee hath promised and sayd Call upon mee in the day of trouble Ps 50.15 I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie mee And when hee heareth I am sure hee will helpe too Ps 46.1 for hee is my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble And leave him I will not leave crying I will not leave weeping and begging I will not untill I find that heâ— espyeth mee comeing Lu 15.20 O now I blesse him I find that hee cometh to mee and armeth mee with this resolution I find that I am comeing unto him too by the small sparkes of graâ—… which warme my resolution But here I must not stay on I must follow him I will and never leave him untill hee takes compassion of mee and runne's and fall's upon my neck and kisseth mee vers 22 I will not leave following him untill hee bringeth forth the best robe even the robe of his Sonne 's righteousnesse putteth it upon mee I must have a ring too put upon my hand Rom 4 11. Lu 15. vers 23 a sealed ring even the seale of the righteousnesse of faith in the meritts of my Redeemer I must allso feede upon the fatted Calfe upon him who was sacrificed for my transgressions even the Sonne of his bosome who is fatt as it were and full of all divine vertues and abundance of grace able to satisfie for the sinns of the whole world I will feede upon him in the participation of the holy sacrament and communion of his owne most blessed body and blood vers 24 And when I eate I will be merry for through faith I shall have an assurance that hereafter I shall be entertained at the supper of the Lamb in the Kingdome of my God Reu 19 9. Thus my ômissions and thus my commissions thus mine infirmities and thus my presumptions shall be layed to his charge who is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sinnes of the world Io 1.29 Unto him I will acknowledg my sinnes Ps 32.5 and mine iniquities I will not hide I will confesse my transgressions unto the Lord and hee shall forgive the iniquitie of my sinnes when I say unto him with a sorrowfull Spirit Ps 41.4 Lord be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee When I have thus confessed Iob. 42 6. and abhorred my selfe in dust and asbes I will then resolve for the time to come by the grace of my God and I will promise that I will take heede to my wayes that I sinne not against him Ps 39.1 or not willingly or not continually or howsoever not impenitently Thus will I sweepe and sweeping I will weepe and weeping I will pray that for every uncleane spirit which hath dwelt in my soule I may now have this soule garnished with the divine and excellent graces of the Spirit of my God By faith I will come unto thee ô Christ and call thee my Iesus By hope I will come unto you ô yee blessed quire of Saints and Angells and with you I will sing those ravishing Halelujahs By charitie I will reconcile my selfe to my offended brother I will as much as in mee lyeth requite and satisfie my injured neighbour I will freely freely remit the injuries I have receaved certainly assuring my selfe that the offences which have beene offered mee though never so high in mine owne esteeme are not bad enough to be compared to the least trespasse which I have committed against my God And as I am taught by the rules of charitie I will not onely love my friends to which I am prompted both by nature and civility but mine enemies likewise I will love as I am commanded by God Yet lest I missetake in my charitie my God a bove all I will both love and obey and that for noe other cause but onely for himselfe Next and in order unto him I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love the Lord for his power I will love God for his wisedome and I will love the Lord my God for his goodnesse I will love the Lord who created mee by his power I will love God who instructeth mee by his wisedome I will love the Lord my God who hath communicated his goodnesse to a creature so despicable I will not onely know my God but I will allso love him I will not onely feare him but I will allso love him I will not onely feare him as hee is an omnipotent Lord or honour him as hee is God but I will allso love him as hee is Mine Yea I will love him with all my heart because hee gave mee a Beeing at my creation I will love him with all my soule because hee preserveth mee in this my beeing I will love him with all my mind because hee hath created mee a new and given mee a well-being by regeneration and I will love him with all my strength because I know assuredly that hee will glorifie mee in the most excellent Beeing I will lore him with all my heart understandingly without errour I will love him with all my soule willingly without contradiction and I will love him with all my mind treasuring him up in my memorie without forgetfulnesse I will love him with all my heart wisely lest I be seduced by the suggestions of the devill I will love him with all my soule sweetely and delightfully lest I be tempted by allurements of the flesh and I will love him with all my strength couragiously lest I sinke under the pressures and heavy burdens of the world I will love him with all my heart for all my cogitations shall reflect upon him I will love him with all my soule for all my affections shall be directed to him and I will love him with all my mind for all my senses shall be obedient unto him I will love him with all my heart devoutly with all my soule discreetely and with all my Mind perseveringly And when thus I have endeavoured to love my God ' then next in
out all the land every man's sword is against his brother the Lord pleadeth against us with blood vers 22 vers 18 and with fire and with brimstone His fury is upon his face vers 19 and a great shaking is in our land The covers of our souldiers are iron their weopons are iron and their hearts are allso iron so hard are their hearts that they kill without remorse and they pillage and plunder without pitty or commiseration The baggs that swelled with unjust gaine and moneys purchased by extortion fraud now wonder at their owne emptinesse and in their shrivell'd and pursed cheekes seeme to mourne for their falling away Eccles 5.16 This is a sore evill that in all points as the deceaver came so shall hee goe and what profit hath hee that hath laboured for the wind The plunderers suck downe his swollen purse and leave nothing but a be and naked skinne and by a new law of gaâ—… they teach by the way of violence how toâ— in an hower as much as hee in his age câ—…scrape up by falshood And when hee looker with an heavy and wish-full eye upon his departing moneys never to be re-called â— deepe sigh tell 's him 't is well that some meâ—nes are found to awaken his conscience So hee spends his drooping dayes in wishing that hee were as innocent as many that are 〈◊〉 poore and it may be that by the losse of his coyne hee gaines some religion Those againe whose honest care and thriftie labours had beene so blessed that their moneys had increased yea even by diminishing and had multiplied for their charity finding now the uncertainty of what the world falsely account's a treasure part with their money with as deepe but not a coveteous sigh anâ— that out of a consideration that the emptinesse of their coffers will be burdensome one day to their new but fellonious possessours They grieve that rapine should be more powerfull then innocency yet content themselves with the certaine assurance of treasures in heaven The surly robber in the interim with a crustie conscience rejoyceth at the purchase of his owne destruction and to shew that hee hath as litle care of his issue as he hath of his soule consume's in riott what his children may beg for The lowest spoake is now come to be the highest in the wheele and that which was the uppermost is turned to the ground The â—rich are become poore and those who formerly were of a low esteeme now pride it in the feathers of other birds Solomons observations is come to passe in our dayes Eccles 10.6 vers 7. the rich sit in low place yea and wee see servants upon horses and princes walking as servants upon the earth Ier 12.12 The spoilers are come upon all high places for the sword of the Lord doth devoure from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land noe flesh hath peace Wee sowe wheate vers 13 but wee reape thornes wee put our selves to paine but noe profit come's of it and wee are even ashamed of our revenues because of the fierce anger of the Lord. Our bloody victories are mixed both with joy and sorrow for even our very conquests tryumphs are mournfull The more wee slay the fewer kindred and friends and acquaintance are left us and much of that blood which wee draw from others is part of that which runneth in our owne veines Iacob and Esau brethren of the same wombe contend for the birth-right and many a man strive's to supplant to surprise to destroy his kinsman his brother yea and his owne father Our tongues are become prisoners and are kept close under the roofes of our mouths and within the grates of our teeth yea and that in the compaâ—… them who are or should be deerest unto and all for feare of trecherie and discover The prudent are enforced to keepe silence because is an evill time Amos. 13. Mic 8.5 Wee dare not trust a friend 〈◊〉 put confidence in a guide wee keepe 〈◊〉 doores of our mouths from them that lies our bosomes vers 6. The sonne dishonoureth the fathâ—… the daughter riseth up against her mother and the daughter in law against her mother in law Brother delivereth up brother to death Mat 10 21. and the father the child and the children rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death Five in one house are divided Luc 12 52. vers 53 three against two and two against three The father is divided against the Sonne and the sonne against the father the mother against the daughter aâ— the daughter against the mother the mothâ—… in law against the daughter in law and the daughter in law against her mother in law and a man's foes are those of his owne household Mat. 10 36. Mal. 4.6 The Lord God of heaven amend these wicked times and turne the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers Ps 69.22 Is 29.21 Ier 48.43 vers 44 Our very tables become snares before us and that which should have beene for our well-fare is become a trap A man is made an offender for a word and a snare is layd for him that reproveth in the gate Feare and the pit and the snare are upon us hee that fleeth from the feare falleth into the pit and â—…e that getteth up out of the pit is taken in the â—…are the yeeres of our visitation are upon 〈◊〉 The spoiler is come upon every city vers 8. and noe â—…ty escaped the vallies allso perish and the â—aines are destroyed c 15.7 The Lord doeth fanne 〈◊〉 with a fanne in the gates of our land hee â—…th bereave us of our children hee doth destroy â—s people because wee returne not from our wayes Our widowes are increased to us above the sand â—f the seas vers 8. the Spoyler at noone day is brought â—pon us Shee that hath borne seaven languisheth vers 9. â—hee hath given up the ghost her sunne is gone downe while it was yet day and the residue of â—…s are delivered to the sword before our enemies c 6.26 O that wee would gird our selves with sackcloth and wallow our selves in ashes and make our selves mourning as for an onely sonne most bitter lamentation for the spoiler suddenly cometh upon us Isa 21.2 Ier 48.10 The treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously and the spoiler spoileth Yea and the word is given out among us Cursed be hee that keepeth back his sword from blood and yet few of us doe consider that the Lord God of recompences shall surely requite c 51.56 Amos. 5.18 Woe unto them that desired this day of the Lord. To what end is it for them Alasse the day of the Lord is darknesse and not light vers 19 As if a man did flee from a lion and a beare mett him in the way or went into the house
destruction nor the threatned fall nor thy resisting us nor Sodom's ruine Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us and give us now such humble hearts Ps 75.6 that wee may noe more set our hornes on high nor speake with stiffe necks for why Thou ô God art the judg vers 8. thou puttest downe one and settest up another Wee are taught ô thou just God of truth Prov. 11.1 that a false ballance is abhomination unto thee but a just weight is thy delight and wee know that thou didst question by thy Prophet saying Mic 6.11 Shall I count them pure with the wicked ballances and with the bagg of deceitfull weights vers 10 Are there not in Ierusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickednesse in the house of the wicked and the skant measure which is aboâ—minable Yea and wee know that thou doâ—… stricktly forbid Deut 25.14 vers 13 vers 15 saying Thou shalt not have iâ— thine house diverse measures a greate and 〈◊〉 small thou shalt not have in thy bagge diversâ— weights a greate and a small but thou shalâ— have a perfect and just weight a perfect and just measure shalt thou have that thy dayes may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee And yet for all this the same complaint may be made against many of us Ier 6.13 which was against Iudah wee are given to coveteousnesse and wee dealt falsly Iustly therfore ô most righteous judg thou mayst question us as thou didst the Iewes and say c 7.9 vers 10 will yee steale murder commâ— adulterie and sweare falsly and come and stand before mee in my house which is called by my name and say wee are delivered 〈◊〉 doe all these abominations O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowells to thee are allso knowne both the deceaver and the oppressour walking hand in hand among us Surely thou hast seene it Ps 10.15 for thou behouldest ungodlinesse and wrong therfore thou callest Amos. 8.4 vers 5 saying Heare this ô yee that swallow up the needy even to make the poore of the land to faile saying when will the Sabbath be gone that wee may set forth wheate making the Ephah small and the Shekel greate and falsifying the ballance by deceit vers 6. that wee may buy the poore for silver and the needy for a paire of shooes Yea ô thou that makest inquisition for blood and forgettest not the complaint of the poore to thee wee must confesse that with the deceitfull is joyned allso among us even the bloody murderer allthough wee are well assured that the blood-thirstie and deceitfull man shall not live out halfe his dayes Ps 55.25 Yea Lord thou God of justice thou mayest allso complaine of us as thou didst of the Iewes Is 59.4 and say that few or none among us calleth for justice or pleadeth for truth wee trust in vanity and speake lyes wee conceave mischiefe and bring forth iniquity Hos 4.2 By swearing and lying and killing and stealing and committing adulterie the people breake out and blood toucheth blood Therfore doth our land mourne vers 3. and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish Thus ô thus wickedly thus contemptuously Iud 10 15. thus outragiously yea and many more and worse though closer wayes have wee sinned o Lord doe thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee For these Ier. 50.4 and for all other our private and publike our secret and our open our particular and our generall crimes I besiech thee o father of mercies to graunt that I and all the people of the land may goe weeping as once did the children of Israel and of Iudah Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sinns of the world Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learne vers 5. and aske the way to Sion with our faces thitherward saying Come let us joyne our selves unto the Lord in a perpetuall covenant that shall not be broken Amos. 7.2 Dan. 9.19 Ioel. 2.21 vers 26 O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee by whom Shall Iacob arise For hee is small O Lord heare ô Lord forgive o Lord hearken and doe it so shall wee be sure that thou wilt doe greate things Cause us once againe to eate in plenty be satisfied praise thy name o Lord our God when thou hast dealt thus wonderously with us and wee shall never be ashamed Ier. 29.11 O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us and not of evill Wee should o my God 1. Pet. 3 8. wee should have loved one another as brethren and should have beene pittyfull and courteous but to our shame I must acknowledg with a sad and a broken heart that wee have beene more ready to bite and devoure one another Gal. 5.15 and therfore now are wee justly consumed one of another It is most just with thee o thou sin-revenging God thus to visit our offences with the rod Ps 89.32 our sinns with scourges Vnnaturall have beene our crimes therfore unnaturall are likewise our punishments Ps 37.15 for our swords doe goe thorow our owne hearts and wee our selves are become the destroyers of our selves O eternall mercy O eternall goodnesse be thou gratiously pleased I beseech thee to give us a true sight sense and feeling of these and all other our faylings and back-slidings give us hearty remorse contrition and sorrow for them all together with a stedfast resolution of new obedience yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions and so enable us to the performance of the same yea so sanctifie us throughout that our whole spirits and soules bodies may be kept blamelesse unto the comeing of our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ Thou hast threatned that If a man will not turne Ps 7.13 thou will whet thy sword this long time thou hast bent thy bowe thou hast prepared for us vers 14 and brought among us the instruments of death and hast ordained thine arrowes against thy persecuters Yet Lord thou art yesterday and to day and the same for ever The same father of mercies and God of all consolation Remember therfore I beseech thee how gratious thou wert to the people of Iudah to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speake Ier. 26.3 If so be they would hearken and turne every man from his evill way that thou mightest repent thee of the evill which thou didst purpose to doe unto them because of the evill of their doeings O Lord doe thou rent our hearts in thy mercy and make us turne from our evill wayes that thou mayst repent thee of the evill of our punishments Make us turne unto thee with 〈◊〉 our hearts Ioel 2.12 with fasting and with weeping and with mourning Ex 32.12 and then turne thou from thy
1. King 14.18 Had not my husband beene King yet how should I forbeare the expence of a teare when death depriveth mee of the name of a wife Had hee not beene godly then the words of the Psalmist might peradventure have beene verified even of him Ps 27.15 His widow shall not weepe But ô hee was full of love and hee was truely religious for mine owne losse therfore must I freely weepe because my loving my religious husband is taken from mee Naomi requited the love of her daughters in law expressed to their dead husbands with a fervent prayer saying Ruth 1.8 The Lord deale kindly with you as yee have dealt with the dead and with mee vers 9. The Lord graunt that yee may find rest each of you in the house of her husband When the wife of Ezekiel was taken from him I doubt not but hee loved her so well that hee would have bemoaned her departure had not the Lord expressely charged him the contrarie Eze 24 16. But the Lord said unto him Sonne of man behold I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroake yet neither shalt thou mourne nor weepe neither shall thy teares runne downe Forbeare to cry vers 17 make noe mourning for the dead bind the tire of thine head upon thee and put on thy shooes upon thy feete and cover not thy lipps Surely his teares were not forbidden as if it were un-lawfull to lament the dead Noe it was onely because the Lord by that figne would shew that the calamitie of the Iewes should be beyond that sorrow which enforceth a weeping But what was Ezekiel's losse in comparison of mine Hee was a man and a Prophet set over his wife to be her instructer so was mine set over mee allso but there the scholler onely departed the wife here the very Oracle is ceased my husband is gone While hee was alive my knowledg was increased for if I would have learned any thing 1. Cor 14.15 1. Pet 3 7. I could aske him at home Hee dwelt with mee according to knowledg giving honour unto mee as to the weaker vessell and as being heires together of the grace of life Eph. 5.28 1. Tim. 5.8 so that our prayers were not hindered Hee loved mee even as his owne body hee provided both for mee and mine But now alas I may live in ignorance dis-respected and un provided for none will comfort mee none will helpe mee as did my husband that 's gone Act. 5.4 Though wicked Saphira had joyned with Ananias her husband in lying unto God concerning the sale of their possession vers 5. and her husband at the words of Saint Peter fell downe and gave up the ghost and was caried out by the young men vers 6. and buried yet shee lived not long enough either to bewayle his death or to consider of her losse Shee continued a widow but about three howers space vers 7. vers 10 and then fell downe at the Apostles feete and yeelded up the ghost Shee quickly followed her husband in death who joyned in the wickednesse with him in his life Shee hastened to the grave of her departed consort as if love had forbad her to survive her husband Yet it was not love but justice which made them lye together in the silent grave since they joyned together in a lye in their lives This alas was not a testimonie of her love so quickly to follow her husband to the land of darknesse Mee think's that I could be well contented to have dyed with my husband and to be layed in the grave by his frozen body but neither would I have sinne to be the cause nor judgment the effect Why then doe I so much lament his departure whose death was full of an assurance of life and whose hope was full of immortalitie Had Saphira survived her deceased husband but so long as to have beene sensible of the manner of his death it may be imagined that shee would have sighed her selfe to the grave and even griefe alone would have joyned them in the vault of darknesse and silence But God delayed not the punishment of her who obstinately persisted in the crime of her husband Here is yet some comfort for mee in my deepe calamitie that neither my husband was guilty of the sinne of Ananias nor yet did his death come so unexpected Why then should I grieve so much for the departure of him who is gone from hence to eternall rest Hee dyed in the Lord Reu 14 13. and I cannot therfore doubt but hee is assuredly blessed Hee resteth from his labours and his workes doe follow him Why then doe I shed such an aboundance of teares as if I either distrusted his happinesse or envyed his felicity My cause is not so greate if I rightly weigh it as to cause these floods to arise in mine eyes When I thinke upon him I have reason to rejoyce both because hee is freed as well from the tyrannie of sinne as from the miserie it produceth and allso because hee is at rest in my God If I consider my selfe allso mine affliction is not so greate nor my teares so just as I doe imagine for they will prove rather an argument of my distrust in God then of my love to my husband if I give them the freedome to flow beyond moderation Hee who lent mee him can send mee another yea such a one as may deserve as well and to whom my love may be as fervent If I have lost mine estate yet I have not lost my protectour unlesse I forsake him in my distrust If I complaine for want of the joy of societie even my very thoughts so they be religions will delight mee with their companie If I want an instructer my God will be my guide If I want a comforter my God will wipe these teares from mine eyes If I want either foode or sustenance for my body Prov 15.15 yet a good conscience will prove a continuall feast My losse is not so greate as ever was sustained if I compare it with those which others have soffered Naömie's affliction was greater then mine Ruth 1 3. when not onely her husband Elimelech but allso her two sonnes Mahlon and Chilion dyed and the woman was left of her two sonnes her husband at once 1. Sam. 4.11 It was worse by farre with the wife of Phinehar then it is with mee for her husband and his brother were both slaine in one day by the Amalekites yea and that in judgment too c 3.13 even because they made themselves vile and their father restrained them not When the newes came to her that the Arke of God was taken by the un-circumcised c 4.13 that ould Eli her father in law hearing the newes that the Arke was taken and that his sonnes were slaine vers 18 fell from the seate back-ward by the side of the gate and brake his neck and
dyed shee vers 19 poore soule being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her bowed her selfe and fell in travaile for her paines came upon her yea at length when shee was delivered of her Ichabod vers 21 she gave up the ghost Thus the Priests fell by the sword Ps 78.64 and noe widow was left to make lamentation True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed Ps 109.9 Let his children be fatherlesse and his wife a widow yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie Ier 22.12 Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land and dyed there which the Prophet confidering speaketh and saith vers 10 Weepe not for the dead neither bemoane him but weepe for him that goëth away for hee shall returne noe more nor see his native countrie This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved but since it was not though my losse be greate yet must not my sorrow be too greate Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens it becometh not the children of God The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe who saith unto them Lev 19 28. Deut 14.1 Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you I am the Lord. And againe Yee are the children of the Lord your God yee shall not cut your selves nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow that they cut themselves Ier 16.6 made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their lamentations They carved their flesh and marked themselves for idolatrie yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium or inke or what colour they pleased which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts Ier 41.5 Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem from Shiloh and from Samariah had their beards shaven and their clothes rent and they had cut themselves and had offerings and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll 1. King 18.28 they cryed alowd and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers 'till the blood gushed out upon them Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles it may not be of Christians nor might it be of the Israëlites they therfore punished it with many stripes And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend noe though of a father because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased but it was not so with Israel nor is it so with mee I have a father which is in heaven Mat 6.9 to whom my husband is gone before mee I have a husband too which is in heaven even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël I have a head too which is in heaven Ier 31.32 even my Saviour Christ Eph 5.23 who is the head of the Church I have a brother too which is in heaven even my elder brother Iesus Christ Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up Mat. 6.20 and where my immortall father and head and brother have crowned him with immortalitie My God hath taken him that I may know where to find him Whilest hee continued upon earth his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie but now is hee seated in a place of rest to which when I come wee shall never be seperated Whilest hee was here my affection unto him indeede was greate and that was my duety but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe even for the trespasse of my weeping I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse nor so vaine in my laments if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall and had therfore trusted in him who is immortall If I doe love my God more then I did my husband I shall find both comfort and content in his mercy Lord how fraile and weake am I that I cannot discharge the debt of nature but I must bring in question the power of grace I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband without discovering some diffidence some distrust in my God But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences To him will I hasten to him will I speedily addresse my selfe and mournfully will I cry and begge and pray and say The Prayer FAther of mercies and God of all consolation Ioa 11.25 vers 26 thou who art the resurrection and the life in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life and for inthroning him in the celestiall â—erusalem where I doubt not but hee reigneth Thou knewest his sufferances and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell through the sufferances of thy Sonne For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it Thou knowest Lord the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee Thou seest mine affliction and thou numberest my teares O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows Give mee grace