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A02441 The house of correction: or, Certayne satyricall epigrams. Written by I.H. Gent. Together with a few characters, called Par pari: or, Like to like, quoth the deuill to the collier; House of correction. I. H.; Heath, John, Fellow of New College, Oxford, attributed name. 1619 (1619) STC 12572; ESTC S106016 12,747 56

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THE HOVSE OF CORRECTION OR CERTAYNE SATYRICALL EPIGRAMS Written by I. H. Gent. Together with a few Characters called PAR PARI OR Like to like quoth the Deuill to the Collier Ficta voluptaetis causa sint proxima veris. Hor. de art Po. LONDON Printed by Bernard Alsop for Richard Redmer and are to be sold at his shoppe at the West end of Saint Pauls Church 1619. The Authour to his Booke COme hither Booke take counsell He that goes Into the world meetes with a world of foes Thy Mother was my Muse a gentle Dame Who much ador'd Appollo's sacred name Then being free-borne know that thou art going Vnto a world of Wits still fresh still growing Yet wonder not that I haue got no friend To write in thy behalfe What! should I send Thee like a Seruingman with Letters No. The World shall see thee first and seeing know Whether thou merit'st prayse none shall haue cause To be condem'd of folly in the applause Of thy harsh lines the worst that can be thought Is this That none would write they were so naught Alas poore Booke hunt not thou after prayse Nor dare to stretch thy hand vnto the Bayes Vpon a Poets head let it suffice To thee and me the world doth vs despise For 't is a mad World and it turnes on hinges Whilst some a birding goe and set their springes For to catch Woodcocks Others sting and bite Like Wasps and Mastiffs and doe take delight To quarrell with their shaddowes nay themselues And their owne broode Sure these are spitefull ●●●es 〈◊〉 at all Writers striue to haue a l●rke Meddle not with them lest thou get a yerke And yet their venamous breath as on a Glasse No sooner lighteth but away doth passe Then feare them not The Wise which know thee best Will entertayne thee as a welcome Ghest Prayse that 's prayse-worthy winke at faults but small Like thy conceits and prayse thy vayne withall Yet be not proude though thou their prayse dost gayne Remembring what is writ is writ in vayne T is for a better pen then mine to say By God 't is good and if you lik's you may EPIGRAMS ¶ Lectori MY Epigrams like to a wandring Guest Or tattard Souldier that 's but lately Prest Your fauour craues to grant a Passe vnto them A greater kindnesse you can neuer doe them Bibens his bountie BIbens to shew his liberalitie Made Lusus drunke A noble qualitie And much esteemed which Bibens fayne would proue To be the Signe of his familiar loue Lusus beware thou 'lt finde him in the end Familier Deuill no familier Friend I● Ducum DVcus keepes house and it with reason stands That he keepe house that sold away his lands ¶ Omne Simile non est Idem TOgether as we walkt a friend of mine Mistook a painted Maddame for a Signe That in a window stood but I acquainted Told him it was no woodden Signe was painted But Maddam Yea true sayd he Yet 't is a Signe of little modestie Gr●●e pondus WHat tell you vs that Milo bore a Bull Is that so strange Yon silke siluer Gull Beareth a Countrey Church vpon his backe The lighter Bull made Milo's shoulders ake A Steeple on his head and at his heeles A Ring of Bells and yet nor stoopes nor reeles On a Shoemaker WHat bootes it thee to follow such a Trade That 's alwayes vnderfoote and vnderlayde On Fuscus his valour FVscus the Bragart being in field to fight Protesting of his valour ouernight Shaking his Sword he swore Now by this hand I le fight and kill so long as I can stand The Field was pitcht and now begins the fray And Fuscus now begins to runne away Nor euer stints his course vntill by flight He had outrunne the danger of the fight The Combat ended Fuscus he was wanting And found ere long where he for feare stood panting And thus they mockt him You swore by your hand You 'ld fight and kill so long as you could stand 'T is true sayd one but pray doe Fuscus right For Fuscus neyther stood to kill nor fight Ad Rinaldum amic SEe see Rinaldus Prethee who is that That weares you great greene Fether in his hat Like to some Tilter Sure it is some Knight Whose wits being greene his head must needs be light In Lusiam LVsia who scornes all others imitations Cannot abide to be out-gone in fashions She sayes she cannot haue a Hat or Ruffe A Gowne a Pettycoate a Band or Cuffe But that these Citizens whom she doth hate Will get into 't at nere so deare a rate But Lusia now doth such a fashion follow Whose Hayre is Flax and Band as Saffron yellow That there 's no Citizen what ere she be Can be transformed so like an Owle as she In Lincum LIncus the Draper for his more auayle Dams vp his lights to set his Ware to sayle And counts it in his Art a misterie To gayne by lying oaths and flatterie But take this rule If Lincus his lights stoppe Deeme you his conscience darker then his shoppe Destruit aedificat mutat quadrata rotundis A Man there was which here shall not be nam'd that with great cost a wondrous building fram'd But as the building rose the Builders purse Did pine in substance Builders common curse It cost him many a pound but that 's no matter Slightly being built the building gan to tatter And by mischance downe falls of it a part The Workmen they being glad with all their heart Come to their Master thereof to complayne And askt his leaue to ●ayse it vp agayne Nay soft quoth he it is a question whether More may fall downe let 's set vp all together Canutus reformation CAnutus now will be no more a Ranger But Marryed liue and lye at Rack and Manger So meanes not shee Well if she goe to grasse Hee 'll prooue an Oxe that was before an Asse On a Maydens thoyse A Parent to his Childe this counsell gaue Quoth he My Girle two Suiters thou must haue The one is yong and faire vertuous wise Of worthiest Stocke and rarest qualities The other different both in age and nature N●yther so fit nor yet so sweete a Creature Yet be resolued and make that Suiter blest Whom in thy loue thou thinkst the Worthi●st Straight she replyes Since choyce is left to mee Nature commands that Age with Age agree Vertue and Loue compell my heart thereto To loue the youngman and in truth I doe Why but sayd he be not mistaken than Conceiue the Elder is the better man How so quoth she it's a Paradox to mee How being the woorse he can the better bee In Pigmeum LIttle Pigmeus weares his Mistris Gloue Her Ring and Feather Fauours of her loue Who could but laugh to see the little Dwarfe Grace out himselfe with her imbrodered Scarfe 'T is strange yet true her Gloue Ring Scarfe and Fan Makes him vnhansome a wel fauoured man Flemminius Sickenesse FLemminius nere was sicke yet
was it sed Flemminius he was sicke yea sicke and dead His Friends lamented shedding many a teare At length it came vnto Flemminius care Who thus ●aue answer Neuer let them feare it The Newes is ill yet am I glad to heare it In Oblitum I Wondred much as I had wondrous reason Oblitus should within so short a season Forsake forget his old and ancient friend For whom he oft had vow'd his life to spend I was not altred much but so was hee From low estate to higher dignitie Yet knew I him hath he forgotten me Preferment then hath spoyld his memorie Yet this I know 'T is but his paltry pelfe He knowes me well but he forgets himselfe Lucus Iourney LVcus that trauel'd with an hundred pound Was rob'd and left wel beaten and fast bound But when to share their prize they had begun No miracle was wrought yet he vndone Nimis Amor. TWo friends that had not met a long time since Together supt but at their parting thence Tom swore hee 'd haue Kit home but all in vayne Kit swore as fast hee 'd haue Tom backe agayne In kindnesse thus they striue and striuing goe From home to home nor could they end it so But too and fro walking through many a Streete It now being late the Constable they meete He gaue command his Bil-men quickly staid them And took thē thence in the Compter laid them And thus by Fortune was a meanes prouided To end the strife which could not be decided All which was well but that that fell out worse They saued their oath but could not saue their purse In Priscus commendations of his Mistris PRiscus commends his Mistres for a Girle Whose lips are Rubies whose teeth are pearle They neede prooue so or else it will be found He payes too deare they cost him many a pound Vltra posse non est esse HOw should Rattillo lose his purse last night And 20. shillings in it was 't not by slight Why he came in no crowd What did hee play No. Hee 's no Gamester Did he no debts pay Nor Fee no Lawyers Neyther Was he not drunk Neyther Nor did bestow it on his Punke Why then the question 's this If none of these How should he lose what he had not to leese In Rufum AS Rufus prays'd his Beauer Hat of late One that stood by striking him o're the pate Sayd it was felt Rufus would not beleeue it He stroke againe till Rufus did conceiue it So darke was the conceit that out of doubt He nere had found had he not felt it out In Cornutum WHy should Cornutus Wife lie in the Strand And hee poore silly man lye in the Citie Belike the Shop was not sufficient man'd To part the Head and Members yet 't is pittie But what cares she for head I hope she scornes Were he seauen heads shee 'd crowne him with ten hornes Richards mourning WHen his old Master buried was with cost Dick had a mourning Cloke but it was lost The Corse to Churchward goes ech takes his turne But Dick took none for Richard could not mourne Yes that he did the Company he forsooke And mourn'd not in but mourned for his Cloke Flaccu's payment FLaccus came to a Tauerne there to dine Cal'd for good store of meat great store of wine The Reckoning brought Flaccus sayes not a word Nor drawes his purse but out he drawes his sword Some say he proffer'd wrong but how thinke you He drew vpon the Drawer pay'd his due He owed him the reckoning but of late Hath he not scored and payd him on the pate On Iustice her entertaynment IVstice came downe from heauen of late to be A perfect Iudge without partialitie But when that Iustice to the Bench was come The Bench it was so full she had no roome So backe she tooke her flight vnto the heauens And left the world againe at sixe and seauens Iustice her reward IVstice fledde vp to heauen some say was blinde Why so is many a Iustice left behinde But Iustice being blinde the cause regarded R●spected none nor neuer was rewarded So say not all some of the Bench agrees That Iustice kept a Clarke to take her fees In Briscum HIs Father being dead Briscus was told And found ere long where was his fathers gold All Angels rich but poorely clad in leather Briscus tooke pitty on them and straight hither Sends some for Sattin other some for Tissue Gloues Scarfes Hats Hangers but now marke the issue They all being freed did all consent together And took their flight poor Briscus knows not whither which he lamēts blaming those former kings Who made a Law he might not clippe their wings In Ledaem BEcause I 'me black swarfe Leda doth scorn me And if I marry her she vowes shee 'l horne me But Leda know I speak 't not in disgrace Your red and white is but a pybauld face Enigma AS often as I please it changeth forme It is no Coward though it doe no harme T is neuer hurt nor euer doth it feede T is nothing worth yet nothing doth it neede Swiftly it runnes yet neuer maketh sound And once being lost againe 't is neuer found 'T is a fit Seruant for a Gentleman And a true patterne for a Seruingman 'T is borne a Gyant liues a Dwarfe and nigh Vnto its death a Gyant doth it dye Ad bonos socios Old Women told vs tales long time agoe Of Robbin Goodfellow what he would doe Who now they say is gone but yet wee finde There 's many of his name are left behinde In Pratum Iur cons. I Asked Pratus what was his Profession He savd a Lawyer who by h●s discretion Could right and wrong according to the Law To cherrish Vertue and keepe Vice in Awe I know it contrary and full of Ire Setti●g his Awe aside I call'd him Lier On Captaine Drake his Voyage SOme thinke it true whilst other some do doubt Whether Capt. Drak● compast the world about Some say he did it in the Deuils name And none ere since could doe the like againe But these are al deceiued why should they doubt it They know each yeere there 's some that goe about it Ad amicam I I Am the happiest ere inioy'd a Loue u. You are the first did euer constant proue ly Lye down my wandring thoughts thē take your rest an An blessed once continue euer blest Answere na NA he that shall tour affections grutch yl Ill be his Fortune since my prayer is such u. You loue me now let not affections seuer I. I loue you now and I shall loue you euer Will 's error WIll sayes his Wife 's so fat she scarce can go But she as nimbly answeres Faith sir no. Alas good Will thou art mistaken quite For all men know that she is wondrous light Spinus his choyce SPinus would wed but he would haue a Wench That hath all Tongues Italian Spanish French But I diswade him for if