presence I will bewaile thine absence because euen this is a token of loue and a great pleasure to the louing soule Now then the sense of this sentence appeareth Because it is rightlie said of the louing soule how the more feruentlie she loueth and the more earnestlie she longeth after eternall things the more trulie she feeleth the power thereof working within her Theie are not cold woords but to the vnkinde soule neither deafe organs but to the hardened hart The louing and zelous soule knoweth this well and is so often inflamed in hart as she is pricked with the desire of eternall peace And therefore shee speaketh to thee her Lord God not to men of whome she would not be knowen And although sometime she talketh with men yet that which theie heare is to the outward sense But whatsoeuer she saith to thee it is to the verie soule and rather by sighing of the hart than by sounding words Lo saith she in peace is my most bitter bitternes As if she said After that of thy goodnes I returned vnto the peace of minde the transitorie state of the world began to be still more grieuous vnto mee For I see in this peace how far I am separated from the soueraigne peace And in deede beeing first busied with earthlie desires and mooued with diuers passions I was greatlie hindered from spirituall cogitations and so from heauenlie contemplation after which I should haue much longed but that could I least of all doo because through slothfulnes I did forgo all sense of inward sorowe But nowe seeing the troobles of idle thoughts are taken awaie I doo somewhat rest in the peace of conscience and am drawen vnto heauenlie matters with mine whole hart and I do more lament that I do not enioie the good things of God than erst I did moorne being vexed with the troobles of this world So that it is bitternes to my soule euen to liue in this world and to go vnder the heauie burden of sin But it is bitterest of all when somuch as I maie all mine affections being gathered together I doo enioie now the good things of the hart and bend my selfe euen with hartie zeale toward the armes of eternall peace and yet maie not attaine thereunto because of the bonds of my mortall state And this makes mee euen with griefe of hart to crie vnto thee and to saie O wretched man that I am who shall deliuer mee from the bodie of this death There is none so greuous a burden vnto me as stil to wander frō thee by liuing in the world for laboring in loue I wish for no comfort beside thee For by good experience I haue long sithence learned that my soule can neither be satisfied with the good things of this world nor yet be blessed vntill she be ioined vnto thee in the celestiall habitation For as exceedinglie she doth loue burne and vse contemplation while she is in the bodie so will her desire be insatiable vntill the bodie be laide off And therefore her ende must be made perfect by attaining the souereigne felicitie and the light of thy countenance O King of heauen so amiable in all respects ô my all louelie beloued euen wholie to be desired when wilt thou fill mee with the light of thy countenance when wilt thou satisfie my longing with the well of life My soule hath much thirsted after thee and greatlie will be troobled vntill she attaine thee Liuing in the world and not seeing thee I can take no comfort of whatsoeuer I beholde so greatelie dooth zeale waxe hot that not once but often I breake into these words When shall I come and appeere before the face of my God And this loue of mine cesseth not but encreaseth more and more in such sort that I am driuen euen to weepe night and daie while continuallie I doo thinke with my selfe Where is now my God For it is a comfort to the louing soule to weepe for thy sake while she must want her desire and still expect thy comming And these teares doo more feede and refresh the louing soule than if she enioied all the things of this world For did she loue them she would not weepe for thee Oah how blessed and pleasing to thee is the sheading of such teares For theie doo both kill the desires of secular and temporall ioies and also theie obteine the celestiall consolation And therefore none doo shed such holie teares but theie which are both singularlie in loue and verie notablie religious Far of another kinde be the teares of such as miserablie be troobled in this world For one man weepeth because he is sick another for that he is oppressed another because he is iniured another because his minde is contraried but it is thou religious soule onlie which powrest forth teares euen of pure loue to thy Sauior-ward as for temporall damage and worldlie causes theie trooble thee not for thou submittest thy selfe to the righteous iudgement of God and art thankefull And for so dooing let no worldlie creature iudge thee either foolish or impatient because thy teares doo not greeue but comfort theie doo not blur the face but wash it theie hurt not the eies but theie purifie the sight of the minde Howbeit let others conceaue heereof as theie will I cannot but thinke otherwise than well of you for I doo wish to drinke deep of such teares S. If you wish to weepe with mee then maie you bee comforted with mee Oah that your soule were as I am you could neuer forget what I doo feele I knowe whome I credit and sure I am it is a more easie thing to denie that there is anie heauen and earth than that there is a God And I knowe also hee is my full happines and that I shall neuer bee blessed vntill I haue an absolute sight of his maiestie Whose sight because it is not yet granted me nor alwaies assured me doth make me to lamēt inasmuch as I am depriued of happines wrapped in the darknes of this life and downpeised with the waight of mine owne infirmitie that I am not of power to suffer that wonderfull light and that whatsoeuer I do think cōcerning the glorie of heauen is so litle and ouershadowed as it were with a cloude Hence it is that I dooble my complaint in steede of a song and while theie still saie vnto mee Where is thy God my spirit is the more troobled For thus I thinke then Where is my felicitie where is the full ioie of mine hart where is my true peace and reste Where be all the good things that are vnspeakeable but onlie in my God And when shall I enioie them vnlesse I be ioined vnto him hauing nothing betweene Yea when shall I there bee I knowe not but I beleeue well I doo hope well but yet I haue not Whie then where is my God whome I loue so and yet I see him not Through whose loue I
ouer mine hart which forthwith driueth out the cloudes of all wicked cogitations whereby I doo enioie the long desired cleerenes of God his light Because no vncleane nor filthie thing can stand where he entereth in for hee loueth puritie and is the ingraffer of the same so that of necessitie all satanicall illusion together with the pomps of this world must be packing Therefore my passions and tentations which I did endure being supprised I began both the more euidentlie to knowe and the more earnestlie to loue and the more hartelie to praise him for vouchsafing at the length to beate back the damned crewe of the wicked from assailing mee For theie doo disturbe my peace and sin dooth so shut vp my mouth that I am ashamed to speake vnto my welbeloued But in vaine doo theie bend themselues against his power and wisedome because euen in a moment he can slide downe into mine hart and poure in secretlie good motions that I maie both contemne and vtterlie neglect all their priuie whisperings O my faithfull and all happie freend take mee so vnto thee whensoeuer thou shalt perceaue mine affections to be either pressed downe at anie time with the waight of sin or to be held with vnnecessarie busines that I maie not wander far astraie from thee after the swarme of wicked cogitations and so ouerhastelie be depriued of thy grace without which I shall not be able to enioie thy freendship For thou art my Lord and my God which by thy word doost both heale and sanctifie which holdest my soule in life and sufferest not my feete to slip but deliuerest mee from the euill daie and from the snares of death Oah how manie haue bin cast off and vtterlie perished that haue bin much more innocent than I am And therefore my soule praise thou the Lord and all that is within mee blesse his holie Name My soule I saie praise thou the Lord and forget not all his benefits It is all too little and far vnsufficient whatsoeuer thou shalt either thinke or speake or promise to his praise For hee exceedeth all praise and is much sweeter than anie musick Wherefore my soule cleaueth to thee alone and loueth thee aboue all other gifts notwithstanding it be exceedinglie beutifull and sweete which of meere good will thou hast sent vnto mee For thou alone art the spouse as for all things else theie are gifts and arguments of loue In steed of thee I will not loue them neither will I beleeue that anie thing or all things in the world can suffice mee if I haue not thee for in so dooing I maie perchance forgoe thee with them too Thou giuest me leaue to vse manie things for thy sake but I maie not enioie so much as one thing in thy steed And therefore ô Christ my sweete spouse I haue preferred thee afore all other things and my care hath bin aboue all things to loue thee Wherefore grant that blessedlie I maie enioie thee and in that vnion euerlastinglie to triumph in happines together with thee But how far am I come I haue lengthened my speech more than perhaps you would But pardon me good freend For I haue bin carried aloft through the loue of mine especiall and onlie freend and would to God it would please him still to lift vp both mee and you too in contemplation Let him prouide an heauenlie ascension but let vs not keepe a base going downe M. Aske you mee whether I am forsaken at anie time of my beloued S. Yea I saie so M. But how doo you behaue your selfe in trooble S. I take all things as patientlie as I can expecting his comming Naturalie I am grieued but as touching my spirit I haue inward patience that my griefe prooue not incurable For I forget not how hee that loueth liueth in paine I liue by faith I beleeue the holie Scriptures I giue credit to the words of comfort And although I endure affliction yet I doubt not neither in deede ought I to doubt but that God when it pleaseth him can send mee ease For true and to be credited are those woordes which are declared Because the verie sancts themselues haue bin exercised in manie and proued in like things Nature continuallie dooth wish for quietnes and seeketh to be comforted in some thing but the spirit notwithstanding is readie to sustaine whatsoeuer the wil of God is I should endure If therefore I shall be lesse zelous and lesse willing to doo good my punishment shall be the more greuous Though he slaie me saith the wiseman yet will I trust in him If I loue virtues patience is a great virtue therefore let patience euermore bee retained For the more praise we purchase the more paines we take in bringing things to passe And that our virtue maie be proued and made the more glorious we are commonlie exercised by contrarie euents Therefore whensoeuer anie such triall shal happen be not out of hart neither fall downe but reteine thou patience and extoll the righteousnes of God The Lord is not so hard and pittilesse that he can suffer you to abide long vncomforted Onlie haue a care that you neither lament immoderatlie nor yet murmur against the righteous and iust God because you are forsaken least the wicked spirit doo send vnto you more greeuous tentations of your faith whereby being ouerfearefull you shall extreemelie bee afflicted Wherefore beare a little and suppresse your sorowe although the griefe both of your hart and bodie be neuer so great Abide constant in that good purpose which at the first you intended to keepe For it is good especiallie at such an extremitie to cast all confidence vpon the beloued Looke thou patientlie for God his heauenlie comfort so shall you speedelie perceaue a speciall fauor and sight of God Lo you haue a faithfull witnesse saieng I waited patientlie for the Lord and hee inclined vnto mee and heard my crie And that in your neede you maie finde the like fauor I doo wish you both earnestlie to praie your selfe and desire others to praie for you also and so commit your selfe wholie and is priuie vnto the things to come Euen I the Lord which haue doon all things in measure number and weight I am the creator both of heauen and earth the ruler of this world the knower of hidden things the reuealer of secrets the possessor of the whole world and the beholder of the causes of all particulars I am God and change not who haue continuallie with me the causes of all changes in the world I am God the almightie whose power is inuincible I am God the most high whose highnes can not bee attained I am God the most righteous whose beeing can not be conceaued I am for my presence euerie-where and yet no where to be seene I am the most spirituall and farthest from the senses of man I
not holde it But if you could not hold it confesse that you receaued it from aboue And therefore ascribe all the honor to the mercie of God and openlie confesse how without mee you can doo nothing Consider both in what steede I stand you and how able also I am to confirme you in all goodnes Where were you before I called you but weltering in sin and wickednes And now how would you wander if I directed you not Yea and when also went it well with you if you had not my fauor S. And I said At no time sweete Lord. Thou alone art my singular good freend in all things and aboue all most faithfull L. Whie then did you purpose so wickedlie with your selfe to go after strange louer What misliked you in mee was it either my maiestie or my bewtie S. Ah Lord there is none comparable to thee either for bewtie or for glorie or for riches or for auctoritie neither in heauen nor in earth is anie like vnto thee For thou onlie art most hie ouer all creatures The heauens are thine the earth also is thine thou hast laide the foundation of the world and all that therein is Much it is that thou hast imparted vpon thy creatures by which thy bewtie wisedome and goodnes doth appeere but yet in comparison of thy blessed and glorious presence it is nothing So that by experience I haue learned now that I cannot lack thy companie one houre together but with much griefe to my soule L. Returne therefore vnto mee thou hast hetherto wandered enough about Let not hence-forth to be more staied and milde and faithfull yea and to trust in mee not onlie in the daie of my gratious visitation but much more in the night of tentation I haue let you slip that beeing wearied you might returne vnto mee the more speedelie and beeing frustrate of outward comfort at length vnderstand how much you are bound vnto mee that so often haue called vnto you And therefore liften now at the last for it is not without cause that sometime you are forsaken that you are cold sometime in zeale that it irketh you that you are ouer-wearied with tentations that on all sides you are afflicted that you can neither finde anie counsaile nor feele comfort but are enforced to endure anguish and miserie at all times and in all places I am absent to the end you may knowe how needfull it is that I bee present with you not onlie in one matter or in a speciall cause but in euerie action in all places and times so well earlie as late wheresoeuer you shall become goe or stand For this will teach you to walke warelie with your freend to absteine from vanities and to take heede of offenses I doo leaue you that you maie well vnderstand how much you are bound to loue mee that is that you maie see a manner how to loue mee in deede It is verie true you thought your selfe more stout and happie than in truth you were but when I did once withdraw mine aide from you a litle it then appeered to the world how you were verie poore and miserable How shall your loue be knowen vnlesse you beare my yoake with patience Sometime I see you to waxe sluggish and therefore I doo hide my selfe for an houre like a freend standing behinde the wall that you maie be stirred vp the more zelouslie to seeke mee I knowe for my part and I see all things but troublous trials which are good for manie causes doo make you the more heedie and wise in all your actions Moreouer if you loue mee you will not waxe the more sluggish in seeking mee for all this if you like mee you will seeke mee What Wot you not how riches painfullie come by are kept most carefullie Who so wisheth rest as the wearied man Who loueth so kindlie as hee which hath sighed most heauelie And is not that iewell which was lost and is found againe much more esteemed than before it was So euen so is the ioie duble and the mirth dubled at the long wished presence of the beloued And therefore it is much for your profit that I withdrawe my selfe because I doo it not for anie ill will to you-wards but vpon verie good cause so do I dallie with my freends Let it suffice you at this time that you haue bin in my fauor to heare so much at my mouth Besides when you haue neede returne vnto mee and feare not For I neuer shut mine eares against that person which humblie and earnestlie crieth for mine assistance CHAP. 18. 1. The confidence of a true Christian 2. God iustifieth the vngodlie 3. giueth whatsoeuer good is to man 4. will haue no man to despeire 5. but that all sinners should flie vnto his mercie MY Lord God will helpe mee therefore shall I not be confounded S. Let it grieue no bodie though I loue much to speake with my Lord God whose goodnes hath allured and inflamed mee both to praie and to meditate in such sort that me thinks I should be too hard and vnkinde if I made none answere vnto his woords But happelie some one will saie against mee Therefore neither doo you feare God seeing you are a foule sinner vnworthie euen to liue in this world Whence is it that you dare so presume in your hart And being the least and vilest of all others with what face can you thrust forth your selfe so to talke with your Lord God Whome doo you make your selfe Oah my louing Lord doo thou answere on my behalfe For the mouth of the wicked is opened vpon mee If I would iustifie my selfe mine owne mouth shall condemne mee And though I were cleane yet did not my soule knowe so much Oah Lord thou knowest my follie and my shamefastnes Speake thou on my behalfe and I full gladlie will keepe silence L. Giue thou none heede to the woords of the wicked but rather doo thou remember how I haue saide I came not to call the righteous but the sinners vnto repentance Am not I to doo what I will Who maie resist my pleasure If I thinke it good to showe fauor to thee-ward though little thou deserue the same at mine hands who shall reprooue me therefore Hee that is without sin let him throwe the first stone at thee But if theie all the pack of them are sinners with what face can theie finde fault with my fauor to thee-ward You haue not chosen mee but my mercie did preuent you Dareth anie yet murmure against you for comming vnto me Comfort thy selfe his murmure is not against thee but flatlie against my person because it is I that receaue and â—eate with sinners And whie ought you not to chaâ—enge mine acquaintance the which 〈◊〉 reioice to offer rather than to withdrawe from anie one S. Oah gratious Lord laie not this â—in to their charge but to mee and to
am so often wounded through whose absence I am so grieued through whose gratious visitation so refreshed sometime Where is my God whome euen once to see is to knowe all things Where is my God in whome both mine hart and my flesh doo so earnestlie desire to reioice Where is my God for whose loue I suffer such paine and sorowe His verie remembrance is sweete but his presence is more louelie and expelleth all sadnes fro mine hart Where is mine hope and my crowne Is it not in thee my God and in thy blessed countenance Oah showe mee once thy glorie and thy face so will I cesse to complaine If I contende a little with thee ô blame mee not extreeme zeale of good will hath manie woonderfull deuises I am driuen to expect and moued still to long and so this ioiefull combat dooth continue CHAP. 21. 1. The delaieng of the happie is patientlie to be borne 2. The felicitie of the life to come 3. with a Praier for the same O Lord I haue loued the habitation of thine house and the place where thine honor dwelleth How gladlie I would be with thee thou knowest full well ô my God and how entirelie I desire the same I am not able sufficientlie to expresse I wish it not onlie when I am euill at ease but also what prosperitie soeuer I enioie my desire is to bee with thee But how shall my longing be satisfied Heere it greeueth mee to continue and yet of necessitie I must but my desire is to be with thee and I maie not yet And therefore I see no remedie but that I am with patience to endure this delaie and to refer my wishing to thine holie will For what Is it meete I should murmur when it must be so God forbid Againe I haue the examples of manie of Gods children which haue vsed long patience in this life and yet their harts were in heauen Therefore if thy will be to prolong my pilgrimage I am willing to abide and obeie your pleasure Howbeit that with lesse griefe I may beare my longing to be with thee I will till that time still meditate with my selfe of that celestiall habitation Yet I presume not to pierce into the least of those ioies which thou hast prepared for such as loue thee but of this and that I will meditate to the end that mine affection being pressed downe and infected oftentimes it maie be stirred vp and lifted into the hope of eternall blisse O that that daie had once shined whether then had the ioies of heauen rauished mee How merrie at the hart should I be then and how happie should I thinke my selfe How happie should I then bee enioieng a continuall peace From thencefoorth should I make none enquirie for anie thing seeing no secret could be hid But my life is spent in darkenes and therefore no maruell though my sight doo dazel betweene the cloudes of glorie Notwithstanding I will lift vp mine eies and though a far off behold and salute that holie citie Ierusalem builded in the heauen euen of liuelie stones namelie of holie angels and men replenished continuallie with praise mirth and magnifieng the Lord their God for euer and euer Now therefore my soule take vnto thee the wings of desire and flie vpward flie I saie from all bodelie senses ascend from the visible forme of this world vnto the holie house of God euen vnto the newe Ierusalem builded substantiallie in aie lasting peace crowned with glorie and honor and blessed with the abundance of all good things Lo wonderfull and vnspeakeable are the things of heauen which no man either can or maie vtter No sense is able to conceaue neither can the vnderstanding of man attaine to knowe howe God is in his sanctes glorious and woonderfull in his maiestie Mount thou in cogitation euen vnto the hiest things stretch thy desire into the euerlasting eternitie and saie with the Prophet Glorious things are spoken of thee ô citie of God There whatsoeuer can be wished of man is had and what is once got is kept without care God there is beheld face to face cleerelie trulie continuallie and eternallie There the blessed and all glorious Trinitie in one vnseparable vnitie which of all the blessed citizens of heauen is woorshipped praised and magnified is perfectlie knowen There is mine onlie and right singularlie beloued freend which is more pretious to mee than all riches and the treasure aboue all to bee desired euen my Lord Iesus Christ the immortall spouse of the Church in whome are hid but yet reuealed to the sanctes from the beginning of the world the whole treasure of wisedome and knowledge O how iocund are the sanctes now before the face of the most holie who is the cause and spring of their blessednes For there hee speaketh vnto them not in parables but plainlie of the Father Hee is their booke euen the woord which in the beginning was with God teaching all things and performing all things so that theie want nothing in glorie O blessed and euerlasting glorie not of small remembrance but all happie in God his presence There is also the most glorious Mother of our Sauior and constant virgine Maâ—â—e bewtiâ—â—eng the whole celestiall courte with her comlines and bewtie compassed and accompanied with troupes of virgins as with sweete roases and lilies of the valies There be the angels and archangels placed in order who moste cheerefullie sound forth the praises of God â— There bee the Patriarches and Prophets euen theie which beeing filled long ago with the holie Ghost did foretell of Christ his comming whome nowe theie both knowe and euermore confesse to be their Lord and Sauior the King of kings and perfect God There theie behold eie to eie their Redeemer whome long theie looked for and for whose comming theie longed There be the Lordes Apostles and Disciples those most reuerend and renowmed Fathers which were filled with holines and grace and laide a strong foundacion of the Catholique faith There especiallie shineth that reuerend man Iohn which baptized our Sauior Christ and was a speciall freend of my Spouse There is Peter and Paule and Andrewe and Philip and Thomas and Iames and Iohn and all the other Apostles and Euangelistes pillers of the Church To keepe the faith and to follow the example of these men is the readie waie vnto euerlasting life Moreouer there be the valiant Martyrs enriched with their proper blood and euerlastinglie blessed with Christ whose bodies though theie were most cruellie flean yet could not their soules by anie torments be seuered from Christ. Also there be the noble Confessors which contemned this present life that theie might be in heauen There be the great and glorious Doctors that were so carried aloft in contemplation of which many haue left a liuelie image of holines in their wrightings There be yong men and