passions our joy our sorrow and a thousand other things can bring us to our graves Why then should it be lamented as if it were some wonder at which all the world should be astonished Men fill the air with sighs they beat the Heavens with their groans they clothe themselves with darkness and they pour out floods as in a tempest Why what is the matter Is the Sun faln from its Orb are all the lights of Heaven extinguished are they carrying out the worlds funeral What is it then that causes this moan A friend is dead There is one man less in the world then there was O wonderful what a prodigy is this One that was born to die is dead It had been a wonder indeed if he had not dyed Then we might have filled the earth with noifes Then there had been some cause for a tumult But now it is rather a wonder that men should make such a stir at an ordinary and common thing then that a thing so common should happen unto them One would rather look to see no tears then no death and we might more easily excuse their not weeping at all then we can these doleful lamentations Is it not necessary that our friends should dye Death is necessary yea it is so necessary that it is a thing past and cannot be recalled when men weep most for it If you can bring them back again with your tears if there be any hopes that with the noise you make they should revive to comfort you then you have leave to weep as much as you please Is there any Elijah or Elisha that can stretch forth themselves upon them and recover them to their warmth Is there any Paul or Peter or such great men that can raise them from the dead Go then and intreat them for to pitty you Beat your breasts tear your hair break your sleep with sorrow macerate your selves with fasting that they may take some compassion upon you But if all this pains be lost never put your selves unto it but say Why should I have my labour for my pains And did not all those men die again that they raised Were they made immortal here upon the earth what good would it do you to have them called to life again if they must again dye How would you be able to part with them then if not now What an uncomfortable life would you lead out of fear every day to fall into the same sadness How desolate would you be even in their company unless you learnt not to be troubled nor distracted And if that must be learnt then let us learn it now when it is as necessary as it would be then Do you take it ill that the Apple rots and your trees decay and your clothes grow bare and that any thing in this world is according to its nature Why then do you bewail that men die which is as natural to them as it is to be born Would you have God make the world anew for your sakes will you not be contented unless he make a mortal thing immortal Is it not sufficient that you know it must dye and that he gave it to you that it may be returned to him again Did he ever promise you how long you should have it may he not call for his own when he thinks good do not other men pay this debt to nature as well as you Seeing then it is both a common and a necessary debt do not repine as if you did only pay it He is an unworthy debtor that returns what is lent with a reproach to his creditor And therefore give it up chearfully perhaps he may intrust you with something better 2 Sam. 12. While David saw that his child was alive he earnestly besought of God that it might not die but when once it had given up the ghost he anoints his head and puts on other garments because he knew God was not bound to work a miracle though he might be inclined to shew mercy While there was life there was some hope of mercy but when it was dead there was no hope of a miracle And yet there is one thing that may be pertinently observed in that story of David which exceedingly argues our folly Though God had said by a Prophet that his child should die yet he earnestly beg'd that it might live Men are not so earnest for that which they may be assured God will do if it concern their souls as they are for that which they have all reason to fear he will not do if it concern their bodies Men would have him recal his word and alter his decrees in temporal matters but they little mind the obtaining of his promises and the fulfilling of his Word in spiritual concernments They would have life as long as they please which they know he will not bestow but they seek not for contentment which they may be assured he hath a mind to give They would have him willing to let them enjoy their friends alwayes which cannot be but they feek not to him that they may be willing to part with them though they must part with them and he would make them willing For shame let us not continue in this kind of folly Death is not only necessary but good to be angry at things necessary which we cannot avoid and to neglect those necessaries which we cannot want And since death is such a common thing and so easie to be met with that every thing in the world may bring it to us let us further consider that it cannot be very hurtful in it self for all such things are more unufal and rare God is not so unkind unto the world as to let the most noxious and poysonous things grow everywhere in the greatest plenty Things of that nature they are but thinly scattered through the world they lie hid and dare not commonly appear Since death therefore is in every thing since it lurks not for us like a Serpent in the grass but the smallest thing in this world may strike us with it let us verily perswade our selves that there is no such great harm in it as we imagine especially considering that there is another life I am sure that some as wise as we that mourn so much have thought that death was the best thing that befals the sons of men And if we do not think so it is because we think not of death it self Plutarch ad Apollor It is a common story which Pindar was first Author of how that Agamedes and Trophonius having built the Temple of Apollo asked a reward of that God for their service He promised that after seven dayes he would pay them well for their pains at the end of which they both dyed in the midst of a sleep This the world believed was a lesson to them that God could do men no greater favour then to take them out of the miseries of life Not long after this Pindar himself
that have been bred by Widdows and proved famous How many that have had Fathers and been good for nothing Put the fear of God in their hearts and this will preserve them more then a Father When the Guard is within they will less need one without This will be better then riches and glory and promotion to them this will make them famous both in earth and heaven Do not set thine eyes then on the Youth who by reason of his Fathers greanness is girded with a golden Belt and rides on a pransing Horse and is taken into Kings Courts and hath many Masters and Tutors following him at his heels But cast thine eye above open the gate of heaven in thy thoughts look into that stately Pallace behold the King there sitting on his Throne and if He whom thou seest on earth can be sooner admitted thither then thy child then fetch a great sigh and fill the heavens with noise and clamor But seeing neither riches nor birth nor any thing else is there preferred but only vertue and goodness think what reason thou hast to be content and think how certain it is that nothing is sad 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 if we will not be fools but Philosophers And for thy self if thou complainest of being desolate and solitary think what the Apostle saith 1 Tim. 5.5 that such an one trusteth in God This is only an opportunity of enjoying more of God Thou hast more time and liberty to please God now that thou hast none else to please Thou art freed from all other bonds to be tied faster to him There are no chains no restraints upon thee to keep thee from doing what thou wouldst Thou art separated from one husband to be united to a better Thou hast not the fellow-servant but thou hast the Master Thou hast not thy husband to talk with thee but God is thy husband When thou prayest dost thou not talk with God When thou readest tell me doth not God speak to thee And what doth he say to thee Words more desirable more sweet then can drop from an husbands lips If he speak never so kindly it is no great matter for he is but a fellow-servant But if the Master will be pleased to embrace and speak sweetly to his handmaid 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 This is a strange peice of service And observe I beseech you how he serves us and waits upon us Hear in what words he bespeaks us Come unto me all you that are weary and heavy laden and you shall find rest to your souls And again by the Prophet he cryes Can a woman forget her sucking child that she should not have compassion on the Son of her Womb yea they may forget yet I will not forget thee What charms and Philtrums are there in these words And what can have more of honey in them then these expressions in the Song of Songs My Love my Dove my fair one my Paradise c. and yet this is the language of God to men To this purpose speaks that Divine Person with an elegancy that though I cannot imitate yet I could not but follow till I have run beyond the just length of an Epistle And yet I cannot but tell you some more of my thoughts concerning the following discourse though I have acknowledged so many omissions already There are some general rules laid down at the latter end of the first Treatise which it would have pleased you perhaps if they had been more inlarged I shall take leave therefore to extend this address a little further that if it be possible I my not let you want any thing which you may chance to desire And for direction of your prayers to God in these cases Be sure first to observe the cause of all your trouble the fountain which casts forth the mire and dirt into your fouls When we know the cause of a malady it is half cured And seeing this cause you will find to be within your selves therefore Secondly Pray not so much against trouble as the cause of the trouble Pray for a contented mind a low esteem of the world a new opinion of things an humble frame of heart and such like graces If we meerly pray not to be troubled and rest in General expressions we shall find little ease to our hearts Thirdly Pray not so much for removal of the thing that troubles you as for strength to bear it and divine power to support you under it and heavenly wisdom to make an advantage of it Fourthly If you do pray for the removal of any outward burden and the prevention of any loss yet let it be with an indifferent mind least you be more troubled when you find that God doth not hear those prayers Fifthly when you are troubled for one fault be troubled for all and pray for a new heart When you have done any evil then be humbled for the neglect of so much good which may be the reason of that evil For when a malady doth affect a particular part the whole body must be purged or else if we apply the remedy only to that part we shall but drive the humor to some other place And sixthly I would wish you to apply the remedy presently before the trouble eat into the flesh As soon as you see it it come fly to God and take your Antidotes and beseech him to bless them to you I cannot but here again transcribe another excellent speech of an Heathen Either God can do something M. Antonin L. 9. §. 40. or he cannot If he can do nothing why dost thou pray to him If he can do something why dost thou not pray that thou maist not fear nor desire nor be sad for any of these things rather then that this or that thing should be or not be to thee If he can help us then he can help us to be without a thing as well as to have it and not to fear a thing as well as not to have it Begin therefore to beg these things of God by prayer and thou shalt see what will be the issue of it One prayes that he may have such an one to wife Do thou pray that thou maist not desire her Another prayes to be eased of a tyranny Do thou pray that thou maist be able to bear it O let not my child die saith another but do thou say O let me not fear the loss of it Turn thy prayers I say all this way and see what will come of it Thus that Royal Philosopher And as for Faith which is another thing there mentioned I intreat you to believe First That God is not hard to please Perswade your selves that he is good and gratious and accepts of the sincere hearty and constant endeavours of his Servants to do his will Secondly Believe that he would have us pleased too and delights in our contentment It is not pleasing to him to see us troubled nor doth he wish to see us full of perplexed thoughts N
once said No man ever reproached me more then once for by patient bearing of them the first time I taught him to abstain the second CAP. III. BE not troubled at that which may be sent to breed the greatest Joy Not to speak of spiritual Joys which all troublesom things do breed in holy men by making them more holy according as the Apostle saith Heb. 12.11 many sad accidents in mens account have proved the greatest means of temporal advantage and ended in their outward prosperity You know how it fared with Joseph and that the chains of Iron upon his legs were the occasion of the chain of gold about his neck his Prison was the way to a Throne And as St. Jam. 5.11 James speaks you have heard of the patience of Job and have seen the end of the Lord that the Lord is very pittiful and of tender mercy And Church History tells us that Eudoxia the daughter of a Philosopher in Athens being cast out of her Fathers house by her unkind brethren and coming to Constantinople to beseech Theodosius jun. the Emperour that he would right a poor Orphan found such favour in his eyes that he made her his Queen and shee got a Palace who sought but for a House So true is that which the Heathen observed Wrong oft-times makes way for a better Fortune Majori saepè fortunae locum fecit injuria Sen. A Feaver Hippocrates observes puts an end to some diseases and delivers those from death who could no other way be cured In Aphoris and so Cardan tells us that an imprisonment which once befell him which he lookt upon as the greatest disgrace did him at length the greatest honour and so wiped off all reproaches from his Name L. de vita propria cap. 33. Vt nec suspitionis vestigium emicuerit that there was not the least footstep left of any suspition The same Author who had as many strange and unusual accidents in his life as ever any man I read or heard of tells us elsewhere this notable observation which he made Fatale mihi est omne bonum ex malo initium habere Card. de libris propriis It is fatal to me that all good which befals me begins in some evil Consider then that what happens to one yea to many may happen to thee Why shouldst thou be troubled till thou knowest whether thou hast reason to be troubled or no Wait stay a while thou canst but be troubled at the last and perhaps thou shalt have reason to rejoyce both for that evil and for that thou wast not troubled The conclusion of a matter is most to be regarded and we can know little in the beginning Moses his rod was a Serpent till he took it by the tail and then it became what it was before and if we would lay hold upon things only by their end we should find many things that seem terrible and noxious to be benign and salutiferous Finis rerum caput est as one wittily said Begin therefore at the end Judge nothing but hope well till thou seest the conclusion Why shouldst thou not entertain thy self with good hopes now as well as at another time Why wilt thou keep up and maintain the old piece of folly to hope for much when thou need hope for nothing and to hope for nothing when thou hast nothing to live upon but hopes I mean to be big with expectation in prosperity when thou hast enough in present possession and to be as full of despair in adversity when expectation is all thou hast lost It is our grand fault that we are affected presently according as every thing appears in the face and we stay not till it turn about and shew us the other side So the pleasures of sin deceive us which come on with a Beauteous countenance and smiling looks with a painted face and flattering words but go off again with blushing and shame with pain and sorrow and all the ugliness appears when they have but turned their backs upon us And so the cross accidents of the world do dismay us in such like manner which come upon us with a sad and cloudy look but have a bright side behind and if we would but be patient till the shower or storm be over we might behold the face of the Sun breaking forth upon us But you will say What if the black night do continue and events do not answer my expectation I answer You will be glad that you have not been troubled and have kept your selves in comfort by good hopes for so long a time wherein else you must have lived in trouble But then I say further that if hope of better things in this world can do so much to support a man so long the hopes of incomparably better things in heaven you may easily consider will make you never to be troubled to your lives end De vita prop. c. 52. Cardan tells us that he used to cure little griefs by play and sports and great ones by false hopes and excogitations if but imaginary and invented hopes were found by him to be of some efficacy we cannot reasonably doubt but those which are real and certain will be of far greater and far longer force Let us not therefore be troubled seeing there may be cause if we knew all to rejoyce To these reasons may be added many others which even Heathens have light upon As We should not be troubld at what is natural Now our body is a part of the world and it is natural to it to feel the mutations and changes that are in that thing of which it is a part and if one member suffer at least those which are next to it will suffer likewise and man hath no reason to repine that he fares as other pieces of this great body doth Antoninus calls him that takes in all part what here befals him An imposthume 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 l. 2. Sect. 16. and tumor as it were of the world one that hath made an abscession and departure from the whole like a bag of suppurated blood that feels nothing and hath no communion with the body Nor should we be troubled say they at what is profitable there is nothing happens but what conduces some way or other to the good of the world or is of advantage to some part of it though not to thee Many changes are necessary to the natural preservation of things thy friends must die else there would not be room for others that are coming into being and the world would be too little for its Inhabitants others to the preservation of Civil Government and others for the correction and amendment of mens manners And as in all changes of the seasons of the year we see thereby that fruits and the rest of things are the better provided for So they suppose that every other alteration that is in any part of nature 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 tends to
avarus nunquam quiescunt Tho. à Kemp. saith a devout Author A proud man and a covetous never are at rest The leaves of the tall trees shake with every breath and no man can open his mouth to whisper an ill word but a proud man is disturbed Whereas the observance of this rule will make us say when we are contemned and despised that they cannot think so low of us as we of our selves and then we shall not be moved It will help us in poverty sickness and all mis-fortunes whilst we say less then the least of all Gods mercies Our conceit sure of our selves is the cause that we quarrel at every thing that happens as if we were such considerable creatures that every thing must be done to please us and God must rule the whole world according to our humour yea and no body else must be served and gratified but our selves Some things there are which fall out that are good for others when they are ill for me and therefore it is a high piece of pride for me to be troubled as if I were such a goodly thing that God should mind none but me and all creatures in heaven and in earth should wait upon me doing every thing according to my liking Away with this fond love of our selves and ridiculous over-weening I beseech you let us know our selves and all will be well There is no reason that such poor things as we are should take matters so ill and unkindly at Gods hands as we do We are well used if we were in a worse condition Labour to understand the true nature and value of every thing I will instance in a few things That which is future is uncertain that which is born may die that which once was not may again not be What hath hapned to others may happen to me That which hath its value from fansie is not much worth That which can be bought cannot be great That which can do us no harm unless we will need not be feared That which a man can live without he need not covet Such like rules as these will the consideration of the nature of things teach us and then when we have learnt what they are let us remember the usual saying of Epictetus If thou lovest a pot remember it is a pot which thou lovest i. e. a thing of a base nature and also brittle and soon broken and it is no great wonder nor no great matter if it be So in all other cases if thou lovest a flowre or a man remember it is but a flowre but a man If thou hopest for any thing remember thou hast but only hopes And thus doing thou wilt find much quiet from many occasions of trouble Have but one end and bring all things to that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Anton. l. 4. The true end and that which is the greatest is such an one that all things will promote it and that end is the glorifying God 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Arrian l. 2. c. 23. Tell thy self what thou wilt be and then be what thou wilt and saving our souls Whatsoever falls out will advance this and if we secure our end what need we be troubled We may alwayes have what we would if we would not have too many things but only one For nothing can hinder our doing God honour and advancing the good of our souls yea without those things that we account sad sometimes we should not attend that end So David said it it was good that he was afflicted else he had gone astray Howsoever it fares with us there is some grace or other to be exercised and the exercise of every one of them is in order to what we design Gods glory and our good Remember therefore what our Saviour saith Luk. 10 41. Thou art careful about many things but one thing is needful Mind that and thou needest not be troubled because thou maist alway mind it The sum of this is He that hath proposed but one great end at which he levels all his actions the obtaining of which nothing can hinder but all things promote and which he may alway in every condition pursue need not be troubled For every thing rests satisfied in its end and this he may alwayes have if it be that which it should be As we should have but one end so let us have but one rule or principle of our lives I know you will be glad to hear what that one rule should be I know not how to comprehend it in shorter words then these Let us alway will and not will the same thing I told you in the first Rule of all that we must acquaint our selves with the Gospel Now let us will only those things that Christ hath commanded and refuse only those that Christ hath forbidden and that is the principle whereby we may guide our lives and it will never fail us The truth is that must needs be good which a man can alwayes will and it is impossible that any thing but what hath no evill in it should never cease to be chosen by us Let us resolve therefore what things we will ever chuse and what we will ever refuse and for the rest let them be as they will Now Christ hath said be holy humble meek patient but nowhere hath he said be rich be honoured c. The former therefore and not these we must alwayes will He hath bid us likewise that we should not speak evil of others nor hate them nor return their injuries but nowhere hath he said Do not suffer affliction do not put up those wrongs c. the former then are the things only that we must will not to do And by this course it is manifest what a great way we shall go to the obtaining peace For we shall alwayes be certain of something When a mans estate is gone and his friends deceased or the like he may say but I am here still and I can do what I alwayes could Chuse the good and refuse the evil I never did will not to be poor nor to be destitute of relations c. They are other things that I make the matter of my choice and I find that I am where I was because I can do those things which are the only things which I chuse to do This will fortifie us against what men say of us Follow Scripture and Reason and let the world approve of what we do if they please Nothing more troubles us then an ambitious desire of every ones good word Haud parum artis opus est si quis stulto placere velit saith the Proverb among the Spaniards He shall have enough to do that would please a fool But how much trouble he shall have that would please no body knows how many of them is not to be imagined He must not will one thing but ten thousand one thing this moment and another the next and innumerable contradictions at the same time
I where the head of us all is and where we enjoy the light of his most blessed face I would not live if I might again no not for the love of thee I have no such affection to thy society once most dear unto me that I would exchange my present company to hold commerce with thee But do thou rather come hither as soon as thou canst And bid thy friends that they mourn not for thee when thou dyest unless they would wish thee to be miserable again If we should have such a short converse with one of our acquaintance what should we think what should we say Should we fall a mourning and crying again would it open a new sluce for our tears to flow out would we pray him to go to heaven no more but stay with us would we entreate him to beg of God that he might come and comfort us If not then let us be well content unless we can give a better reason for our tears then our love to him Holcoth reports of a learned man In 4. sap v. 7. that was found dead in his Study with a Book before him A friend of his was exceedingly amazed at this sight when he first came into the room But when he looked a little further he found his fore-finger pointing at this place in the book of Wisdom c. 4. v. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Though the just be prevented with death yet shall he be in rest And when he observed this he was as much comforted as he was before dejected We have no reason to lament them who are made immortal and that live with God If we respect them only we should carry them forth as the Aegyptians did the great Prophet of Isis when he dyed Heliod l. 7. Aethiop not with howlings and sorrow but with hymns and joy as being made an heir 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 with our Betters and gone to possess most glorious things The truth of it is if it were rational love to him that expresseth these tears then we should not begin them so soon nor make such a noise and cry when men are a dying For the sad countenances and the miserable lamentations wherewith we encompass sick mens beds make death seem more frightful to them then it is in it self What misery am I falling into may a man think that causes them to make such a moan What is this death that makes even them look so ghastly who are not like to die What a mischief is it to leave so many sad hearts behind me and to go my self it should seem by them to some sad and dismal place also I tell you a dying man had need have a double courage to look both death and them in the faces or else their indiscreet shrikes and lamentations will make a poor soul fall into such dark and cloudy thoughts Nor for our own sakes that are alive Men are fain therefore to say that it is indeed love to themselves that forces them thus to bemoan the death of their friends But what are you that cannot be contented one should be made much better by making of you a little worse Is this the great love you pretend to your friend that you are sorry he is gone to heaven are you a friend that look more at your own small benefit then at his great gain Was he not much beholden to you for your love that would have had him lived till you were dead that he might have been as miserable in mourning for you as you think now your selves to be But what is it I beseech you that you thus bemoan your selves for because that you are now miserable No it seems that you are not miserable enough and that makes you weep so much If you had some greater trouble befaln you that would put all your friends out of your mind If you were sick or in pains or had lost all your goods these things could take your mind off from this loss why then cannot the enjoyment of them When Joab did but threaten David that they all would leave him 2 Sam. 19.7 unless he would be comforted then he could wipe his face and appear in publick as a man well pleased Fear of losing his Kingdom put away the grief for the loss of his son And therefore let us not speak of our being miserable by this loss for at last we find it is not so Yea I must tell you that it is not meer self-love that begets these tears For suppose this person to have been at a great distance from us for some years Did we weep and mourn because he was not with us did not the meer thoughts that he lived comfort us was he not as good as dead when we neither saw nor felt nor heard him What help could he afford us at that distance and did we account our selves miserable all that time we are now as we were then in all things the same but only in the knowledge that he is dead But was he not dead as to us before did he do any thing for us at that time that he doth not now Let us be quiet then for the truth is it is not love to him nor love to our selves that makes us sometimes weep but a meer natural affection that stirs within us i. e. Men mourn oft-times they know not why but only it is natural so to do They think they are not as they were before They feel that there is something wanting as they imagine It is a thing of long acquaintance perhaps and so nature is loth to part with it Get a new nature then and that will mend all And yet it is not meer natural affection neither that makes us sad For we our selves shall soon forget it but the freshness and the presence of the object of our sadness Time will make us forget it or if our parents had dyed a little after we were born we should never have wept when we came of age to think that they were departed It is no hard matter then for a considerate person to cease his grief seeing it depends upon such small causes And if any one shall say that it is love to the good of the world that makes him mourn for the loss of an useful person He hath reason to rejoyce that he loves the good of men so much For then he will labour to do much good in the world himself and he will perswade all the friends he hath remaining that they would do all the good they can and repair that loss II. But let me further ask you Was thy friend Gods friend also Our friends if Good are not lost or was he not If he was the friend of God as well as a friend of thine why should not he have his company rather then thou If he was not Gods friend then he could not be thine neither No man can love us aright that doth not love God and if he do love God
and supports And as for brute creatures you see that they make a doleful noise for the loss of their young a very short while and then they remember it no more Some of the people of Cous if I forget not used at the age of seventy years either to kill their parents or pine them to death and to rejoyce much at it They thought that they had lived long enough and that it was both a misery to themselves and a great burden to their children to have them continue any longer The Caspians also and some of the people of old Spain had the like custom which we well can inhumane and barbarous But why cannot understanding teach us that which want of understanding taught them Why should Barbarism make them rejoyce at what they did themselves and Christianity make us sad at what is done by God and the order of things St. Hierome reports that in his time there was at Rome a man who had had twenty wives marryed to a woman who had had two and twenty husbands There was great expectations which of them should die first and when the man buryed her his neighbours crowned him with Lawrel and caused him to bear a bough of Palm in his hand in token of a victory at his wives funerals It seems that men can sport at death if they list and laugh at that which makes so many cry Why then cannot reason make us moderately sad to bear that which humor and fancy can make men not to lament at all Why cannot our Religion do more with us then the people or our friends who it is like can laugh us our of our sorrows If I have not said too much in this argument I have some confidence that I have not said too little And indeed I have said more then I first intended and so much that if any one have the patience to read it through me thinks the very length of the discourse should make them forget their sorrows and by thinking so long upon another thing they should not remember what they thought upon before One soul is scarce big enough to hold all these considerations and the thoughts of grief also Here are so many that they are able to thrust sorrow out of doors by their multitude if not by their strength and force And yet notwithstanding I must detain you a little longer before I give your thoughts leave to turn themselves to other things For I am of the mind that all these considerations will only asswage the grief and pricking of the wound but will not quite heal it and take away its putrefaction I shall therefore commend two or three things for the pressing out all the filthy matter for the closing of the sore and to make the soul perfectly whole and sound Be dead to all things and thou wilt not be offended that they die §. 8. I. It is not their death but the life of something else that troubles us Mortifie thy spirit to the world and all things that are in it and when thou hast left them it will be no wonder that they leave thee Think with thy self often that thy friends are dead that thou seest them carryed to the grave that thou beholdest worms crawling out of their eyes and mouth and try how thou art able to bear that thought Think that he or she that lies in thy bed by thy side is as cold as a stone think that thou embracest the carkass of thy dear friend and ask thy soul how it can brook it Think thus often and though thy soul may start at the first yet at last it will be patient That little sadness will banish and chase away all the greater that else would seize on thee hereafter There will be little to do when death comes if thou constantly dost this Thy soul will be so loose from them that thou wilt not give a shrike none will bear the strings crack when you are separated Death will not be a breaking of your society but a fair easie untying of it Nothing will happen to you but what you have looked for long before and you will be able to say This is not the first time that I have seen my dear friend dead Yea think with thy self that thou seest thy own body laid in the grave and that thou feelest thy self as cold as a clod of earth Think that thou art turned into rottenness and dirt and that thou art forgotten by thy neighbours If thy soul can endure these thoughts then why should it be troubled at the death of another This is a kind of death to be so separated from thy body in thy thoughts It is all one not to be in thy body and not to feel that thou art in it Raise thy mind then up toward heavenly things fix thy thoughts on God and the life to come think that thou seest thy self in heaven among the Saints of God and while thy soul is there it is not in thy body here below This kind of death differs from that which will be hereafter in this only that then thou wilt be more perfectly out of thy body But if there be no trouble in this separation which thou now makest even whilest thou art in it There will be far less trouble one would think quite to part with it and to get from it And the way to be dead to these earthly things We must not let false opinions live is to change our opinion of them and to see them to be what indeed they are empty and unsatisfying changeable and unconstant Of this I have spoken before in the former discourse but seeing it is a thing so great and fundamental to our contentment let me again present you with it We are the cause of our own grief by magnifying the things of the world to such a value that the loss of them shall be worth so many tears We think that they are happy who are rich and honourable though they be never so wicked and unskilful how to live 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. L. 1. cap. 19. We presently cry up a man for wise and what not who to use Arrianus his phrase is preferred by Caesar though it be but to be Groom of his close-stool And on the contrary we dispise vertue if it be in a thred-bare coat and count him a fool who is unfortunate No wonder then that we cry and whine like children when we lose any of these worldly things seeing we think our selves more happy then men in the enjoyment of them We think that we are undone when we part with that which we have such an high opinion of and there is no way to make us think that all is safe but by altering of that forlish opinion We expect what cannot be and will not be content with what may easily be We cannot make the things of this world to be still and quiet but may make our selves so and the way to that quietness