your Rock He hath no stability but what is derived dependant and uncertain and defectible Learn therefore to rest on God alone and lean not too hard or confidently upon any mortal might 2. And God will have the common infirmity of man to be known that so the weakest may not be utterly discouraged nor take their weakness to be gracelesness whilst they see that the strongest also have their infirmities though not so great as theirs If any of God's Servants lives in constant holiness and fidelity without any shakings or stumbling in their way it would tempt some self-accusing troubled Souls to think that they were altogether graceless because they are so far short of others But when we read of a Peters denying his Master in so horrid a manner with swearing and cursing that he knew not the man Mat. 26.74 And of his dissimulation and not walking uprightly Gal. 2. and of a Davids unfriendly and unrighteous dealing with Mephibosheth the seed of Ionathan and of his most vile and treacherous dealing with Vriah a faithful and deserving Subject it may both abate our wonder and offence at the unfaithfulness of our Friends and teach us to compassionate their frailty when they desert us and also somewhat abate our immoderate dejectedness and trouble when we have failed God or man our selves 3. Moreover consider how the odiousness of that sin which is the root and cause of such unfaithfulness is greatly manifested by the failing of our Friends God will have the odiousness of the Remnants of our Self-love and Carnal mindedness and Cowardize appear We should not discern it in the Seed and Root if we did not see and taste it in the Fruits Seeing without Tasting will not sufficiently convince us A Crab looks as beautiful as an Apple but when you taste it you better know the difference When you must your selves be unkindly used by your Friends and forsaken by them in your distress and you have tasted the Fruits of the Remnants of their Worldliness Selfishness and Carnal Fears you will better know the odiousness of these Vices which thus break forth against all Obligations to God and you and notwithstanding the Light the Conscience and perhaps the Grace that doth resist them 4. Are you not prone to overvalue and overlove your Friends If so is not this the meerest Remedy for your Disease In the loving of God we are in no danger of Excess and therefore have no need of any thing to quench it And in the loving of the Godly purely upon the account of Christ and in loving Saints as Saints we are not apt to go too far But yet our Understandings may mistake and we may think that Saints have more of sanctity than indeed they have and we are exceeding apt to mix a Selfish Common Love with that which is Spiritual and Holy and at the same time when we love a Christian as a Christian we are apt not only to love him as we ought but to overlove him because he is our Friend and loveth us Those Christians that have no special Love to us we are apt to undervalue and neglect and love them below their holiness and worth But those that we think entirely love us we love above their proper Worth as they stand in the esteem of God Not but that we may love those that love us and add this love to that which is purely for the sake of Christ but we should not let our own Interest prevail and overtop the Interest of Christ nor love any so much for loving us as for loving Christ And if we do so no wonder if God shall use such Remedies as he seeth meet to abate our excuse of Selfish Love O how highly are we apt to think of all that Good which is found in those who are the highest esteemers of us and most dearly love us when perhaps in it self it is but some ordinary Good or ordinary Degree of Goodness which is in them Their Love to us unresistibly procureth our Love to them And when we love them it is wonderful to observe how easily we are brought to think well of almost all they do and highly to value their Judgments Graces Parts and Works When greater Excellencies in another perhaps are scarce observed or regarded but as a common thing And therefore the destruction or want of Love is apparent in the vilifying Thoughts and Speeches that most Men have one of another and in the low esteem of the Judgments and Performances and Lives of other Men much more in their Contempt Reproaches and cruel Persecutions Now though God will have us encrease in our love of Christ in his Members and in our pure love of Christians as such and in our common Charity to all yea and in our just Fidelity to our Friend yet would he have us suspect and moderate our selfish and excessive Love and inordinate partial esteem of one above another when it is but for our selves and on our own account And therefore as he will make us know that we our selves are no such excellent Persons as that it should make another so laudable or advance his worth because he loveth us so he will make us know that our Friends whom we overvalue are but like other Men If we exalt them too highly in our esteem it is a sign that God must cast them down And as their Love to us was it that made us so exalt them so their unkindness or unfaithfulness to us is the fittest means to bring them lower in our estimation and affection God is very jealous of our hearts as to our overvaluing and overloving any of his Creatures What we give inordinately and excessively to them is some way or other taken from him and given them to his Injury and therefore to his offence Though I know that to be void of natural friendly or social affections is an odious extreme on the other side yet God will rebuke us if we are guilty of Excess And it 's the greater and more inexcusable fault to over-love the Creature because our Love to God is so cold and hardly kindled and kept alive He cannot take it well to see us dote upon dust and frailty like our selves at the same time when all his wondrous kindness and attractive goodness do cause but such a faint and languid Love to him which we ourselves can scarcely feel If therefore he cures us by permitting our Friends to shew us what they are and how little they deserve such excessive Love when God hath so little it is no more wonder than it is that he is tender of his Glory and merciful to his Servants Souls 5 By the failing and unfaithfulness of our Friends the wonderful Patience of God will be observed and honoured as it is shewed both to them and us When they forsake us in our distress especially when we suffer for the Cause of Christ it is God that they injure more than us And therefore if he bear with
covetous ambitious self-seeking persons in the World or else cure their diseases and possess their minds with perfect Câ—â—rity then â—ll the 〈…〉 hath over and over again given 〈…〉 as full and sad demonstrations of th◠〈◊〉 of Cross opinions to alienate 〈◊〉 and make divisions as most ages of the World have ever had If your Friend 〈◊〉 proud it 's wonderful how he will â—lighâ— you and withdraw his Love if you 〈◊〉 not of his mind If he be zealous he is easily tempted to think it a part of his duty to God to disown you if you differ from him as taking you for one that disowneth the truth of God and therefore one that God himself disowneth or at least to grow cold in his affection toward you and to decline from you as he that thinks you do from God As agreement in opinions doth strangely reconcile Affections so disagreement doth secretly and strangely alienate them even before you are well aware your Friend hath lost possession of your hearts because of an unavoidable diversity of apprehensions When all your Friends have the same intellectual complexion and temperature and measure of understanding with your selves then you may have hope to escape the ruptures which unlikeliness and differences of apprehensions might else cause 6. Moreover some of your friends may so far overgrow you in wisdom or wealth or honour or worth in their own conceits that they may begin to take you to be unsuitable for them and unmeet for their further special friendship Alas poor man they will pity thee that thou art no wiser and that thou hast no greater light to change thy mind as fast as they or that thou art so weak and ignorant as not to see what seems to them so clear a truth or that thou art so simple to cast away thy self by crossing them that might prefer thee or to fâ—ll under the displeasure of those that have power to raise or ruine thee But if thou be so simple thou mayest be the object of their lamentation but art no familiar friend for them They think it fittest to close and converse with those of their own rank and stature and not with such shrubs and children that may prove their trouble and dishonour 7. And some of your friends will think that by a more through acquaintance with you they have found out more of your infirmities or faults and therefore have found that you are less aimable and valuable than at first they judged you They will think that by distance unacquaintedness and an over-hasty love and judgment they were mistaken in you and that now they see reason to repent of the love which they think was guilty of some errors and excess when they come nearer you and have had more tryal of you they will think they are fitter to judge of you than before And indeed our defects are so many and all our infirmities so great that the more men know us the more they may see in us that deserveth pity or reproof and as Pictures we appear less beautiful at the nearest view Though this will not warrant the withdrawing of that Love which is due to friends and to vertue even in the imperfect nor will excuse that alienation and decay of friendship that is caused by the pride of such as overlook perhaps much greater failings and weaknesses in themselves which need forgiveness 8. And perhaps some of your Friends will grow weary of their Friendship having that infirmity of humane nature not to be much pleased with one thing long Their love is a flower that quickly withereth It is a short liv'd thing that soon groweth old It must be novelty that must feed their love and their delight 9. And perhaps they may have got some better Friends in their apprehensions that may have so much interest as to take them up and leave no room for antient Friends It may be they have met with those that are more suitable or can be more useful to them that have more learning or wit or wealth or power than you have and therefore seem more worthy of their Friendship 10. And some of them may think when you are in a low and suffering state and in danger of worse that it is part of their duty of self-preservation to be strange to you though in heart they wish you well They will think they are not bound to hazard themselves upon the displeasure of superiours to own or befriend you or any other Though they must not desert Christ they think they may desert a man for their own preservation To avoid both extreams in such a case men must both study to understand which way is most serviceable to Christ and to his Church and withal to be able to deny themselves and also must study to understand what Christ meaneth in his final sentence In as much as you did it or did it not to one of the least of these my Brethren you did it or did it not to me As if it were to visit the Contagious we must neither cast away our lives to do no good or for that which in value holdeth no proportion with them nor yet must we deny to run any hazard when it is indeed our duty So is it in our visiting those that suffer for the cause of Christ but that here the owning them being the coâ—fessing of him we need more seldom to fear being too forward 11. And some of your friends may cover their faithfulness with the pretence of some fault that you have been guilty of some errour that you hold or some unhansom or culpable act that you have done or some duty that you have left undone or failed in For they think there is not a better shelter for their unfaithfulness then to pretend for it the Name and Cause of God and so to make a duty of their sin Who would not justifie them if they can but prove that God requireth them and Religion oâ—ligeth thâ—m to forsake you fâ—r your faults There are few crimes in the world that by some are not fathered on God that most hateth them as thinking no name can so much honour them False friends therefore use this means as well as other Hypocrites And though God is Love and condemneth nothing more than uncharitableness malice yet these are commonly by falshaâ—ted Hypocrites called by pious vertuous names and God himself is entitled to them so that few worldlings ambitious persons or timeservers but will confidently pretend Religion for all their falshood to their friends or bloody cruelty to the servants of Christ that comply not with their carnal interest 12. Perhaps some of your friends may really mistake your case and think that you suffer as evil doers and instead of comforting you may be your sharpest censurers This is one of the most notable things set out to our observation in the book of Iob It was not the smallest part of his affliction that when the hand of God was heavy upon him
them and forgive their Weakness upon Repentance why should not we do so that are much less injured The worlds perfideousness should make us think How great and wonderful is the patience of God that beareth with and beareth up so vile ungrateful treacherous Men that abuse him to whom they are infinitely obliged And it should make us consider when Men deal treacherously with us How great is that mercy that hath born with and pardoned greater wrongs which I my self have done to God than these can be which men have done to me It was the remembrance of David's Sin that had provoked God to raise up his own Son against him of whom he had been too fond which made him so easily bear the Curses and Reproach of Shimei It will make us bear abuse from others to remember how ill we have dealt with God and how ill we have deserved at his hands our selves 6. And I have observed another of the Reasons of God's permitting the failing of our Friends in the season and success It is that the Love of our Friends may not hinder us when we are called to suffer or die When we over-love them it teareth our very hearts to leave them And therefore it is a strong temptation to draw us from our Duty and to be unfaithful to the cause of Christ lest we should be taken from our too-dear Friends or lest our suffering cause their too-much Grief It is so hard a thing to die with willingness and peace that it must needs be a mercy to be saved from the Impediments which make us backward And the excessive Love of Friends and Relations is not the least of these Impediments O how loth is many a one to die when they think of parting with Wife or Husband or Children or dear and faithful Friends Now I have often observed that a little before their death or sickness it is ordinary with God to permit some unkindness between such too dear friends to arise by which he moderated and abated their affections and made them a great deal the willinger to dye Then we are ready to say it is time for me to leave the World when not only the rest of the World but my dearest Friends have first forsaken me This helpeth us to remember our dearest everlasting Friend and to be grieved at the heart that we have been no truer our selves to him who would not have forsaken us in our extremity And sometimes it makes us ev'n weary of the world and to say as Elias Lord take away my Life c. 1 King 19.4.10 14. When we must say I thought I had one friend left and behold even he forsaketh me in my distress As the love of Friends intangleth our affections to this World so to be weaned by their unkindnesses from our Friends is a great help to loosen us from the World and proveth oft a very great mercy to a Soul that is ready to depart And as the friends that Love us most and have most interest in your esteem and Love may do more than others in tempting us to be unfaithful to our Lord to to entertain any errour to commit any sin or to flinch in suffering so when God had permitted them to forsake us and to lose their too great interest in us we are fortified against all temptations from them I have known where a former intimate friend hath grown strange and broken former friendship and quickly after turned to such dangerous ways and errours as convinced the other of the mercifulness of God in weakning his temptation by his friends desertion who might else have drawn him along with him into sin And I have often observed that when the husbands have turned from Religion to Infidelity Familism or some dangerous heresie that God hath permitted them to hate and abuse their wives so inhumanly as that it preserveth the poor women from the temptation of following them in their Apostasie or sin When as some other women with whom their husbands have dealt more kindly have been drawn away with them into pernicious paths Therefore still I must say we were undone if we had the disposing of our own conditions It would belong before we should have been willing our selves to be thus unkindly dealt with by our friends And yet God hath made it to many a soul a notable meâ—â—s of preserving them from being undone for ever Yea the unfaithfulness of all our friends and the malice and cruelty of all our enemies doth us not usually so much harm as the love and temptation of some one deluded â—â—ring friend whom we are ready to follow into the gulf 7. Lastly consider that it is not desirable or suitable to our state to have too much of our comfort by any creature Not only because it is most pure and sweet which is most immediately from God but also because we are very prone to over-love the Creature and if it should but seem to be very commodious to us by serving our necessities or desires it would seem the more amiable and therefore be the stronger snare The work of mortification doth much consist in the annihilation or deadness of all the Creatures as to any power to draw away our hearts from God or to entangle us and detain us from our duty And the more excellent and lovely the Creature appeareth â—o us the less it is dead to us or we to it and the more will it be able to hinder or ensnare us When you have well considered all these things I suppose you will admire the wisdom of God in leaving you under this kind of tryal and weaning you from every creature and teaching you by his Providence as well as by his word to Cease from man whose breath is in his nostrils for wherein is he to be accounted of And you will see that it 's no great wonder that corrupted souls that live in other sins should be guilty of this unfaithfulness to their friends And that he that dare unthankfully trample upon the unspeakable kindness of the Lord should deal unkindly with the best of men You make no great wonder at other kind of sins when you see the world continually commit them why then should you make a greater or a stranger matter of this than of the rest Are you better than God Must unfaithfulness to you be made more hainous than that unfaithfulness to him which yet you daily see and slight The least wrong to God is a thousand fold more than the greatest that can be done to you as such Have you done that for your nearest friend which God hath done for him and you and all men Their obligations to you are nothing in comparison of their great and manifold obligations to God And you know that you have more wronged God your selves than any man ever wronged you And if yet for all that he bear with you have you not great reasons to bear with others Yea you have not been innocent towards men your selves
that would mar or interrupt the melody and would untune or unstring a raised well composed Soul Thy Father loveth thy very moans and Tears But how much more doth he love thy Thanks and Praise Or if indeed it be a Winter time a stormy day with thee and he seem to chide or hide his face because thou hast offended him let the cloud that is gathered by thy Folly come down in tears and tell him Thou hast sinned against Heaven and before him and art no more worthy to be called his Son but yet fly not from him but beg his pardon and the priviledges of a Servant And thou wilt find embracements when thou fearest condemnation and find that he is merciful and ready to forgive Only return and keep closer to him for the time to come If the breach through thy neglect be gone so far as that thou seemest to have lost thy God and to be cast off and left forsaken despair not yet for he doth but hide his face till thou repent He doth not forsake thee but only tell thee what it is to walk so carelesly as if thou wouldst forsake him Thou art faster and surer in his Love and Covenant then thou canst believe or apprehend Thy Lord was as dear as ever to his Father when he cryed out My God why hast thou forsaken me But yet neglect him not and be not regardless of his withdrawings and of thy loss Lift up thy voice and cry but Father in despight of unbelief cry out My Father my Saviour my God and thou shalt hear him Answer thee at last My Child Cry out O why dost thou hide thy face and why hast thou forsaken me O what shall I do here without thee O leave me not lose me not in this bowling wilderness Let me not be a prey to any ravening beast to my sin to Satan to my foes and thine Lift up thy voice and weep and tell him they are the tears and lamentation of his Child O beg of him that thy wanderings and childish folly may not be taken as acts of enmity or at least that they may be pardoned and though he correct thee that he will return and not forsake thee but still take thee and use thee as his child Or if thou hast not words to pour out before him at least smite upon thy breast and though thou be ashamed or afraid to look up toward Heaven look down and say O Lord be merciful to me a sinner and he will take it for an acceptable suit that tendeth to thy pardon and justification and will number such a sentance with the prayers which he cannot deny Or if thou cry and canst not hear of him and hast long called out upon thy Fathers Name and hearest not his voice and hast no return enquire after him of those thou meetest Ask for him of them that know him and are acquainted with his way Make thy moan unto the watchmen and ask them where thou mayst find thy Lord. And at last he will appear to thee and find thee first that thou mayst find him and shew thee where it was that thou didst lose him by losing thy self and turning from him seek him and thou shalt find him wait and he will appear in kindness For he never faileth or forsaketh those that wait upon him This kind of Converse O my soul thou hast to prosecute with thy God Thou hast also the concernments of all his servants his affâ—icted ones his broken hearted ones his diseased ones his persecuted ones to tell him of Tell him also of the concernments of his Kingdom the fury of his Enemies the dishonour they cast upon his Name the matters of his Gospel cause and interest in the world But still let his Righteous Judgment be remembred and all be terminated in the glorious everlasting Kingdom Is it not much better thus to converse with him that I must be with for ever about the place and the company and work and concernments of my perpetual abode then to be taken up with strangers in my way and detained by their impertinencies I have form'd my self so long in these meditations that I will but name the rest and tell you what I had further to have treated on and leave the enlargement to your own meditations 8. I have no reason to be weary of converse with God seeing it is that for which all human converse is regardable Converse with man is only so far desirable as it tendeth to our Converse with God And therefore the end must be preferred before the means 9. It is the Office of Christ and the work of the Holy Ghost and the use of all the means of Grace and of all creatures mercies and afflictions to reduce our straying souls to God that we may converse with him and enjoy him 10. Converse with God is most suitable to those that are so near to death It best prepareth for it It is likest to the work that we are next to do We had rather when death comes be found conversing with God then with Man It is God that a dying man hath principally to do with It is his judgment that he is going to and his mercy that he hath to trust upon And therefore it concerneth us to draw near him now and be no strangers to him lest strangeness then should be our terrour 11. How wonderful a condescension is it that God should be willing to converse with me with such a worm and sinful wretch And therefore how unexcusable is my crime if I refuse his company and so great a mercy 12. Lastly Heaven it self is but our Converse with God and his Glorified ones though in a more perfect manner then we can here conceive And therefore our holy converse with him here is the state that is likest Heaven and that prepareth for it and all the Heaven that is on earth IT remaineth now that I briefly tell you what you should do to attain and manage this Converse with God in the improvement of your solitude For Directions in general for Walking with God I reserve for another place At present let these few suffice Direct 1. If you would comfortably Converse with God make sure that you are Reconciled to him in Christ and that he is indeed your friend and Father Can two walk together except they be agreed Can you take pleasure in dwelling with the consuming fire or conversing with the most dreadful enemy Yet this I must add that every doubting or self-accusing soul may not find a pretence to fly from God 1. That God ceaseth not to be a Father when ever a fearful soul is drawn to question it or deny it 2. That in the Universal Love and Grace of God to miserable sinners and in the universal act of conditional pardon and oblivion and in the offers of Grace and the readiness of God to receive the penitent there is Glad Tidings that should exceedingly rejoyce a a sinner and there is sufficient encouragement