Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n
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A71270
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The Women's complaint against tobacco, or, An excellent help to multiplication pespicuously [sic] shewing the annoyance that it brings to mankind and the great deprivation of comfort and delight to the female sex, with a special and significant order set forth by the vvomen for suppressing the general use thereof amongst their husbands, they finding that tobacco is the only enemy to pleasure and procreation as they now plainly make it appear in this their declaration.
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1675
(1675)
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Wing W3328A; ESTC R20194
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6,020
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9
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the Doctor who is now my Husband by whom I have had six Children and all the delights which are due to the Marriage bed I once took an occasion to ask him what he thought might be the reason that I had no Children by my former Husband who in his life time appeared to be a likelyer Man then himself he made me this Answer that he took too much Tobacco For saith he Tobacco is of it self hot and dry and destroys the Radical Moisture Now I hope you know what is meant by the Radical Moisture for it is the seed in Man which propagates and begets Children in women Now that being wanting those Men are altogether unfit for procreation and this vacancy of Nature is occasioned by Mens smoaking that base destructive Weed called Tobacco Nay a further account I can yet give you of it's operations for reading lately in one of my Husbands books I found it thus written first in Latine Destrnctio generis humani Nicotiana Semen radicale exaruit Pericranio venenum infundit Sic vita humana perfecta This I did not understand but reading on I found it thus Englished The Weed Tobacco is the destruction of humane Race for it dryes up the Radical Moisture and throws such poysonous vapours into the Brain that it sends many untimely unto their Graves This being heard they began to be weary of silence every one striving who should give this Doctress the greatest applause but she desired them to forbear for she had not finisht her discourse so then they again seated themselves as before Now says she which of you all will suffer your Husbands or Bedfellows to take this cursed Tobacco that fills their heads full of inflamations conflagrations proclamations incendiaries combustions and such like hard words which sends them to their graves in the prime of their age Nay moreover it robs deprives us women of that consolation delight which every young woman ought to enjoy in a full measure I say it steals away all those happinesses from us even whilst our Husbands are alive with us and at last tumbles them over the perch as they call it by consumption Coughs and such like languishing distemper At that they all unanimously cryed out away with this cursed Tobacco this venemous Indian Weed we do clearly vote it down to be a common and publick Enemy to Men in robbing of them of their health and strength but a private and secret Enemy to Women in robbing them of their pleasure and Delight Silence again was order'd by the grand Matron of the Assembly who to tell you the truth was well striken in years and yet she would very fain have had her vote amongst the rest but she was very gently and mildly prohibited by the younger sort they very fairly alledging that there was enough of them to mannage this cause whose warmer blood runs briskly through their veins and truly it dos altogether belong to us for Tobacco could in no wise be injurious to her whom Time already had deprived of the enjoyments of mankind but the harm it did was to those who were capable of receiving the benefits of Nature but were made destitute thereof by reason of their sottish Husbands who make Chimneys of their throats and change their Teeth from their natural colour to be as black as the Chimney stock 't is we I say that have just cause to make our timely and most just complaint against this surfeiting unnaturall stinking Weed least in a few years we find a dissolution of mankind and then I am sure the World will soon be at an end for we Women be we never so active cannot pleasure one another in that great work of generation neither can we Multiply Poor Souls we shall be starved unless a speedy course be taken for the extirpation and rooting up of this great and destructive enemy to our mournful Sex The old Gentlewoman hearing these great reasons did willingly give place to the younger Dames confessing the truth that her dancing days were done and she cared no more for Man then Man cared for her but yet Girls quoth she I have a fellow feeling of your sad and languishing conditions Well well my pretty Rogues stand up for your privilledges I was young once and could as ill dispence with a defective Man as the briskest Dame in town though I say it my self and truly my pretty Lambs I must advise you to make the best use of your time and take away those things and causes which in any wise do obstruct or hinder your delight and pleasure in this World For truly old age will quickly come Time to my knowledge hath Wings and flies away with a swift pace O methinks it is but yesterday since I embraced a pretty young Man a friend of mine when as alas it is now above twenty years since yet I cannot forget the sweet delight and pleasure I then receiv'd In my Conscience Girls if I should talk of it a little longer old bal'd pated Time would retreat and I should become young again but O alas the Chollick now doth gripe me the Cramp doth draw my Limbs together sorely Diseases encompass me round about and I must give way to younger heads to manage this great work of Women-kind and when the Bill is pass'd for the voting down of this filthy Tobacco if I cannot put my hand to it to shew my willingness and my well wishings to our Sex I will put one finger to it and thus I will take my leave of you finding my self something faint in speaking what I have said already Ah this old Age I say it cannot be hid be sure you vigorously proceed against this cursed Tobacco that is your open enemy and so farewell With that they all gave her many and hearty thanks for her good counsel and advise either of them being more sensible of the great injuries it did their Husbands and so consequently themselves then she was by reason old Age had not yet overtaken them Now again it was to be considered who should speak next all of them still having something to say and declare though much to the same effect which had been said already till at length a nimble tongued Lass desired that her verdict might be heard not doubting as she told them that what she had to offer and propose might be as significant and effectual to the business in hand as any thing that had been said and declared by any of them for truly she had the sence of fellow feeling upon her as much as the best of them though as yet not actually known the pleasures of Man for saith she I am now upwards of seventeen and by your selves you may know that a Woman in my condition has a longing desire to be further satisfied concerning the enjoyment of mankind They hearing her so violently urge upon this point gave order that she should be heard with great attention and diligence not knowing but her aggrievances might equally compare with their own so they commanded her to speak as boldly as her Sex and tender years would admit and allow of so she declared her self briefly after this manner Neighbours quoth she I understand that the drift of our present business is to disanul and make void this Weed Tobacco and to prohibit and forbid all mankind in general as well Batchelors as married Men from taking or smoaking any more of it from this time forward and for evermore Now the reasons that I shall infer upon my own account for I suppose you will expect that I should nominate some principal grounds shall be these I being as yet a Virgin though it may be contrary to my own will shall be afraid to marry fearing I should marry and tye my self to a Man that should take Tobacco and that I thereby should be deprived of those enjoyments and delight which every Woman expects after Marriage For you do all agree with me that Tobacco is the great Thief that robs all our Sex of their natural pleasures The apprehension and fear of this Tobacco for ought I know may be the utter ruine and destruction not only of my self but of many thousand Damsels more for it may cause them never to marry expecting no comfort nor consolation from a smoaker so that they will be forced to live and dye Maids as they call us then shall we be forced as our great Grandmothers have left upon record to lead Apes in Purgatory the sence of which torment I think is sufficient to disswade all Men from taking Tobacco if they have any tenderness of hearts towards us and to perswade you the Governours of this honourable Assembly to enact something so strong that all Men may be afraid hence-forward to smoak any more of that stinking weed and that I leave to your wiser breasts to go forward with for you have been as you have declared sufficient sufferers by your Husbands smoaking this fuming and suffocating Indian Leaf She having thus ended they gave a general consent to what she had said to be very significant and now they proceed to make an order order for the prohibition of their Husbands taking Tobacco and thus they begun Imprimis We do declare that our Will and Pleasure is that no Man whatsoever Married or unmarryed under the Age of fifty years old then started up a young woman and said pray let it be sixty No no said she hold your peace I say no Man under the Age of fifty years old shall at any time or upon any occasion whatsoever take smoak or draw into his Mouth the smoak of that cursed stinking Weed called Tobacco for the grounds and Reasons above-mentioned which are sufficiently known to our selves Now if any Man shall at any time he perverse and will not obey these our orders then it shall be lawful for the Wife of such a man to choose and take unto her self a Friend or Gallant such a man as shall seem most pleasant in her Eyes this we do license and permit in case of the like default FINIS