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A26302 Moon-shine, or, The restauration of jews-trumps and bagpipes being an answer to Dr. R. Wild's Letter &c. and his Poetica licentia, &c. Achard, J. 1672 (1672) Wing A439; ESTC R14109 15,090 44

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be taken it will be impossible for any of the Defenders of the Church of Rome ever to spread their Doctrine in this nation And therefore as to this my Muse thou art certainly in the right But what dost think of their Images and Musick of their Pixes and Fixes and such fine tempting things We all know Popes-head Alley trades in Toyes Our Merchants come not thither but our Boys Dr. Most Divine and Politick O Lachrymae O Miserere O the dullness and stupidity of Prelates and Church-men that should go about to suspect the increase of Popery and not study to understand the concern and intrigue of Popes-head Alley Ye Brethren and Sisters and all that have Bibles keep but the Roman Noses to the grindstone of your Bibles and examine your own Consciences and the History and traffique of Popes-head Alley and if ever Clement or any other Pope get footing in England I 'll give him and all his successors leave to kiss But dost hear me once more my girl there are some parlous acute men among them and without doubt they 'l now take all occarion to write Then I 'll sh against them The other day into a place I went Where Mortals use to go that want a vent There by the mouth of Purgatory hole Where many groan and their hard case condole Cressy's sacred legend I did find One leafe whereof gave ease by breaking wind And wip'd Aspersions from Rome behind Rare man cry'd I worthy to be no less Than Groome o' th' stool unto his Holiness Dr. A most easie and compendious way of withstanding confuting and suppressing Popery For the Pope himself he 's to be faced down Bellarmine to be drunk down and Cressy to be wip'd down And therefore I say once again and I wish it would enter into the hearts of all cowardly and jealous Church-men that if his Majesty will be pleased not to confine me to set forms and fashions but still to allow me the free me of my whole Bible and that Costive Saturn does not seise upon my fundament and bung up those hindmost faculties if ever Popery get one inch further into England let not Officious Robin ever go to stool again But now Dr if I were sure that thy Muse had wip'd her tail and that she would not bedung me I would venture to come a little closer to thee and ask thee Dost thou think when his Majesty was pleased to suspend the execution of penal laws upon such offenders as thy self that he did then indulge such simplicity such rudeness and slovenliness as thine dost think that he intended therein to encourage such boyish barbers high-way jests as Bonfires and Incendiaries Musick and Fidlers bells and ropes as cups of Roman wormwood Trojane Mares Pope-fac'd juggs Popes-head Alley and the like such nasty Kitching Kennel phansies as Clements Podex Purgatory hole Aspersions from Rome behind and Groom of the close stool I prethee Robin by what figure or to speak in thy own stile by what Constellation didst thou take out an O that should have been in the Rome behind and two lines after put it into the close stool didst thou do it by Aquarius or Sagittarius It is pitty that besides the Groom of the Robe or Stole that there were not such a preferment as little children think there is that thy Muse Mopsa might have the Ell of Holland to make clean her nasty mouth But to go on Doctor suppose thy Doctorship had so much childishness as to think it witty to call the Papists Hobgoblings Hobby-horses Huntingdon Sturgeons c. and to tell the world they need not be afraid of Popery for there being a Capitol at Rome the Papists are but meer gagling Ganders and if some of them by great study should improve themselves into Geese yet those Geese could never prove Swans I say suppose thy Doctorship was thus weak what hadst thou done with thy Bible and Divinity when thou sendest them to wrestle a fall with Tiburn for the price of thy cow which phanfie I know as well as can be thou hadst from the fellow that dwells at the corner of Hide-Park and when thou wishest them beside all head-long orucifyed Nay I 'll suppose further that this also was only trickish and frolick some but then I would earnestly know Dr where was thy good manners and modesty where was the loyalty whiteness and lawness of thy soul when thou commendest also the Bishops and Reverend Clergy of his Majesties Church to the Gallows for he is no Fanatick nor ever intends to be one as he tells thee in his Declaration when thou callest our Curates Loggerheads and the generality of our Priests Fidlers Jackdaws Sots and Judas's when thou tellest them that they wet themselves too much between meals to fear any Smithfield persecution and that they are good for nothing but to drink up the Wine and the Milk and to take the beast of Rome by the Tail is this a frolick too but that it is you and such as you that live wholly upon Scripture and Rock water ten times distill'd who are to feed and watch to dig preach and to assail Antichrist take him by the Horns Yes yes we may ghess Dr what an Assailant thou art likely to be and what a dreadful Horn-taker it is five to one if thou shouldst meet that same beast in a narrow lane but that thou wouldst either untruss at him or bid King Lues and the Devil take him or else threaten to speak to thy Bodies-maker to whistle for Sagittarius to come away and shoot him as he lately did Durham and Glocester A most sad cause indeed Dr that wit should be so extraordinary low with thee that thou shouldst be able to devise nothing else to reproach the best Church in the world than to abuse a couple of its Learned and Reverend Prelates for that common absurdity of dying at fourscore years of age I might Doctor had I patience take notice also that as thy scurrility it self is so weak and languid that a very Cock-sparrow if offended would bristle up and defy thee so thy Encomiums and good words are so abominably mean and tedious that one had better live ten fathom under ground than be known and so vilely quibbl'd on Thus after a most doggrel prayer for the Duke of Lauderdale's good journey into Scotland which had he gone by Sea was almost doggrel enough to have cast him away O thou dost not question but the Scots will find his Grace and his blew ribband true blew My Lord Clifford's soul is to be as white as his staff The Chancelour of the Exchequer 's word is to go for currant money and the Duke of Buckingham is to keep the saddle because of the Horse Now I profess in my opinion Doctor it would almost tempt a man neither to have name nor office money nor clothes neither to do well nor intend well rather than be obnoxious to such a lewd and ill-favour'd commender