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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A31614 Wits led by the nose, or, A poets revenge a tragi-comedy, as it is acted at the Theatre Royal. Chamberlayne, William, 1619-1689. 1678 (1678) Wing C1867; ESTC R8257 37,584 64

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you know your Goodness would Commiserate my wretched Fortune King Reveal it Lady I perhaps may be inabled then to dissipate your Griefs Hero I was resolv'd to weep away my Time in private sorrow but discovery cannot aggravate my woe besides I may venture to lodge a secret where I have found such temperate vertues I 'le only with this Question Usher in my own discovery is Sicily your place of Birth or not King It is and Breeding both Hero I will not ask what were the Parentage where I find Vertues plant Nobility yet would be loath to a Plebeian breast to trust what I must now divulge King You may be confident I am a Gentleman as well by Birth as Education Lady Hero I do presume it Sir and therefore wish of all I now remain amongst to be known unto you alone You never had Relation to the Court King There was my Breeding Lady Hero Near the Person of the King King One of his Bed-Chamber and 't is no boast to say as well belov'd by him as any there being in th' opinion of the Court a near Resemblance of our looks Hero Then sure my name is not a stranger to you have you not heard Sir of the Cyprian Princess King The Beautious Heroina Hero The wretched Heroina such I 'm sure is my condition in my present State King Pardon the Child of Ignorance my wild and unbecoming Rudeness Kneels Hero Rise Sir we are Companions yet and hope we shall be till your Royal Master possess what was long since intended his By what Disaster I was cast upon this dreadful Precipice of Danger as we are walking I 'le Relate Enter two Bandetties I Ban. A prize a prize a noble prize seize you upon that pretty Shepherdess while I dispatch the Guardian Draws King 'T is not so quickly done and though as yet unable to defend hither I 'le fly for Rescue Snatches the Bandetties Sword who is going to seize Heroina Now I 'm prepar'd to scourge your sawcy Insolence Fights with the first Bandetty and wounds him the second leaves Heroina and offers to seize the King Enter Vanlore and Theocrine Vanlore Draws and drives the second Bandetty off the first that was wounded by the King stayes Hero This was a timely Rescue and has by the fair Redemption of my Honour bound me to give you thanks King I merit none my Duty urg'd me to preserve that Life which they strove thus to Ravish The brightest Stars that Rul'd my Fate did light me to this blest Employment but had all set e're their Influence had attain'd its end had not this Gentlemans assistance lent new Vigor to their fading Beams Hero I must confess a debt of thanks to him which if Irregular Humanity prove no Rebel to my safety shall be suddainly discharg'd Let this Villain attend us to the Court there you 'l find a Prince to be intreated when your Advocate bears Heroina's name I can forgive and so I hope can you although his Crimes merit a lasting punishment 1 Ban. Pardon me best of Women and impute Kneels my Rudeness to my Ignorance If any Service can Extenuate Crimes of such Monstrous Growth my Blood shall pay the forfeit of my disobedience Hero Your hopes of safety prompts me to believe you Come Sir you and that Gentleman shall attend me to the Court Van. We are your Vassals Madam proud to have such a Command to Usher our desires Hero And you Sir There I 'le compleat that cure so well begun And raise your fading hopes for what you 've done Exeunt SCENE a Tavern A Table Pen Ink and Paper in it Enter Led by the Nose Sir Jasper Sympleton by Drayner and Sir Symon Credulous by Slywit disguis'd Dra. Come come along Sir is 't not enough to kill an honourable Gentleman but you must Lampoon him when you 've done and wound his fame in Verse Jas Dam-me if ever I writ a Verse in my Life or any thing like it alas I have no more wit then a Goose and writing's as disagreeable to my Nature as Hanging I must confess I have often had an Itching mind to Poetry but could never obtain it Sly And what makes your name Sir crowded on the Title Page of several Plays in splendid Characters as if that Ostentation did proclaim thee a man of wit and merit Sym. I see you are Ignorant of the English Customes their men of Wit and Sence inclin'd to Poetry have such a little share in the Worlds Treasure their works and them alike go both a begging and scarce a morning but we Easie-men who rather then our lives would be accounted the Zanies of the Age are troubled with their Visits where for a Guinny we purchase the Labour of three Months and then by our Authority with the Acting Females who do at upon us Gallants of the Times the Play in our name 's Acted and by Consequence ' cause all the World should be acquainted with our Folly which we think Wit some Greedy Bookseller pays dear for the Copy and by his means 't is Usher'd into th' World those Dedications writ by us small Criticks never are honour'd by a Noble Patroness tending to down right rayling at the Age or finding fault perhaps with the best Poets Sly This makes you Guilty of the last Lampoon in which you have not only abus'd him who never was a Poet but all the Poets of the Age and therefore if you give us not in the behalf of our dead Friend sufficient satisfaction you die immediately Sym. This 't is to pretend to Poetry in a strange Country I Gad in London a man of Nonsence is as safe amongst the Crue of Criticks as in a Hollands Leaguer for they are more given to the Spirit of Contradiction then that of Fighting Aside Dra. Come Sir dispatch we are in hast Jas So am I to be gone Aside Sly Swear Sir Sym. Swear what Sly Either you did or did not write the Verses Sym. I vow to Gad and all that I am Innocent Sly That 's but a weak Oath and shows too must of Cowardize to gain belief swear me a full mouth'd Oath like a true Englishman Sym. Then on the Vertue of a Gentleman and Honour of Sir Symon Credulous I am not Guilty Sly Honour and Vertue are two mighty strangers to an Ignoble breast I cannot in the least Imagine they are lodg'd in your's Come Gentlemen here 's Pen Ink and Paper write ev'ry Letter that we shall command you or die in disobeying Sym. Was ever poor Pretended led by the Nose before Honour begone to save my Life I 'le do it we are ready Sir Sir Jasper and Sir Symon go to the Table and prepare to write Sly Write this then I am a Coward Sym. All the World knows that already it needs no publication Sly Write I Command you Both. I am a Coward Write Sly An Arrand stinking Coward Both. An Arrand stinking Coward Write Dra. A Poetical Thief Jas Not I by Heav'n