Greeke Whereas thy name thy age and Odcombs towne Are workemanly ingrau'd to thy renowne Beleaguerd round with three such female shapes Whose features would enforce the gods to rapes France Germany and smug-fac'd Italy Attend thee in a kind triplicity France giues thee clusters of the fruitfull vine And Germany layes out t' adorne thy shrine And Italie doth wittily inuite thee And prittily she sayes she will delight thee But yet thy entertainement was but bitter At Bergamo with horses in their litter Whose iadish kindnesse in thy stomacke stickes Who for thy welcome flung thee coltish kickes Thy begging from the high-way Purse-takers Describes thee for a learned wiseakers â—o thus thy single worth is praised double For rare inuention neuer counts it trouble With timelesse reasons and with Reasons verse Thy great Odcombian glory to rehearse But yet whilst they in pleasures lap doe lull thee Amidst thy praise egregiously they gull thee Th' art made Tom Table-talke mongst gulls and gallants Thy book and thee such esteemed tallants When they are tired with thy trauels treading Then hauing nought to do they fall to reading Thy wits false-galloping perambulation Which ease the Readers more then a purgation But to proceed I 'l recapitulate The praise that doth thy worth accommodate Thy Character in learn'd admired Prose The perfect inside of thy humour showes Attended with thy copious names Acrosticke To shew thee wisest being most fantasticke All these Noblemen and Gentlemen that are named in the following book did write merry commendatory verses which were called the Odcombian banquet and were inserted in Mr Coriats booke intituled Coriats Câ—udities Vpon which verses I haue seuerally and particularly paraphrased Next which in doggrell rime is writ I wot Thy name thy birth and place where thou wast got Thy education manners and thy learning Thy going outward and thy home returning Yet there I finde the Writer hath tane leaue Midst words that seeme thy same aloft to heaue That for no little foole he doth account thee But with the greatest vp aloft doth mount thee Th' art lik'ned to a Ducke a Drake a Beare A iadish Gelding that was made to beare An Owle that sings no wit to whit to who That nothing well can sing nor say nor doe Incipit Henricus Neuill de Aberguenie Then follows next a friend that faine would knight thee But that he fears he should do more then right thee Yet wheÌ„ his verses praise on cock-horse heues thee He found thee Thomas Thomas he leaues thee Iohannes Harringtonde Bâ—â— The Goose that guarded Rome with sentles gagling Is here implor'd t' assist the Ganders stragling A pen made of her quill would lift thee fooae As high as is the thorn-bush in the Moone Incipit Ludonicus Lâ—wknor Fooles past and present and to come they say To thee in generall must all giue way Apuleius asse nor Mida's lolling cares No fellowship with thee braue Coriat beares For 't is concluded 'mongst the wizards all To make thee Master of Gul-finches hall Incipit Henricus Goodyer Old Odcombs odnesse makes not thee vneuen Nor carelesly set all at six and seuen Thy person 's odde vnparaleld vnmatchd But yet thy Action 's to the person patch'd Thy body and thy mind are twins in sadnesse Which makes thee euen in the midst of odnesse What-â—r thou odly dost is eu'nly meant In Idiotisme thou art eu'n an Innocent Thy booke and thee are shap'd to like each other That if I looke on t 'one I see the tother Th' art light th' art heauy merry midst thy sadnesse And still art wisest midst of all thy madnesse So odly euen thy feet thy iourney trod That in conclusion thou art euenly odde Incipit â—â—â—nnes Paiton Iunior Thou saw'st so many cities townes and garisons That Caesar must not make with thee comparisons Great Iulius Commentaries lies and rots As good for nothing but stoppe mustard pots For Coriats booke is onely in request All other volumes now may lye and rest Blind Homer in his writings tooke great paines Yet he and thee doe differ many graines For in my minde I hold it most vnfit To liken Homers verses to thy Writ Incipit Henricus Poole Next followes one whose lines aloft doe raise Don Coriat chiefe Diego of our daies To praise thy booke or thee he knowes not whether It makes him study to praise both or neither At last he learnedly lets flie at large Compares thy booke vnto a Westerne Barge And saies 't is pitty thy all worthlesse worke In darke obscurity at home should lurke And then thy blunted courage to encourage Couragiously he counsels thee to forrage 'Mongst forraine Regions and t' obserue their state That to thy Country-men thou might'st relate At thy returne their manners liues and law Belcht from the tumbrell of thy gorged maw Incipit Robertus Philips This worthy man thy fame on high doth heaue Yet Mounsieur Leg-stretcher pray giue me leaue He saies that men doe much mistake thy age That thinke thou art not past the making sage T is hard to make a foole of one that 's wise For wit doth pitty folly not despise But for to make a wife man of a foole To such a Clarke we both may goe to schoole Yet much I feare to learne it is too late Our youthfull age with wit is out of date He sayes If any one a foole dares call thee Let not his thundring big-mouth'd words apall thee But in thine owne defence draw out thy toole Thy Booke he means which will his courage coole For why thy Booke shall like a brazen shield Defend thy cause and thee the glory yeeld An asse I 'm sure could ne'r obserue so much Because an asses businesse is not such Yet if an asse could write as well as run He then perhaps might doe as thou hast done But t is impossible a simple creature Should doe such things like thee aboue his nature Thou Aiax of the frothie Whitson Ale Let AEolus breathe with many a friendly gale Fill full thy sailes that after-times may know What thou to these our times dost friendly show That as of thee the like was neuer heard They crowne thee with a Marrot or a Mard Incipit Dudleius Digges Here 's one affirmes thy booke is onely thine How basely thou didst steale nor yet purloyne But from the labour of thy legges and braine This heire of thine did life and soule obtaine Thou art no cuckold men may iustly gather Because the childe is made so like the father In nat'rall fashion and in nat'rall wit Despight of Art 't is Nat'rall euery whit Incipit Rowlandus Cotton Columbus Magelan nor dreadfull Drake These three like thee did neuer iourny take Thou vntir'd trauelling admired iemme No man that 's wife will liken thee to them The Calfe thy booke may call thee fire and dam Thy body is the Dad thy minde the Mam. Thy toylesome carkasse got this child of worth Which thy elaborate wit produced forth Now Ioues sweet benison
treasure Sir Philip Sidâ—â—y histimes Mars and Muse That word and sword so worthily could vse That spight of death his glory lin's â—â—waiâ—â— For Conquelts and for Poesie crown'd with bayes What famous nien liue in this age of ours As if theâ— Sister 's nine had left theâ— bowres With more post hâ—â—â—e then expeditious wings They â—eere haue found the Heliconian springs We of our mighty Monarch IAMES may boast Who in this heau'nly Arte exceeds the most Where men may see the Muses wisdome well When such a glorious house they chose to dwell The Preacher whose instructions doe afford The soules deare food the euerliuing Word If Poets skill be banisht from his braine His preaching sometimes will be but too plaine Twixt Poetry and best diuinity There is such neere and deare affinity As'twere propinquity of brothers blood That without tone the other 's not so good The man that takes in hand braue verse to write And in Diuinitie hath no insight He may perhaps make smooth and Art-like Rimes To please the humours of these idle times But name of Poet hee shall neuer merit Though writing them he waste his very spirit They therefore much mistake that seeme to say How euery one that writes a paltrie play A sottish Sonnet in the praise of loue A song or jigge that fooles to laughter moue In praise or dispraise in defame or fame Deserues the honour of a Poets name I further say and further will maintaine That he that hath true Poesie in his braine Will not profane so high and heau'nly skill To glory or be proud of writing ill But if his Muse doe stoope to such deiection T is but to shew the world her sinnes infection A Poets ire sometimes may be inflam'd To make foule Vices brazen face asham'd And then his Epigrams and Satyres whip Will make base gald vnruly Iades to skip In frost they say 't is good bad blood be nipt And I haue seene Abuses whipt and stript In such rare fashion that the wincing age Hath kick'd and flung with vncontrouled rage Oh worthy Withers I shall loue thee euer And often maist thou doe thy best indeuer That still thy workes and thee may liue together Contending with thy name and neuer wither But further to proceed in my pretence Of nat'rall English Poetries defence For Lawreat Sidney and our gracious Iames Haue plunged been in Arts admired streames And all the learned Poets of our dayes Haue Arts great ayde to winne still liuing Bayes All whom I doe confesse such worthy men That I vnworthy am with inke and pen To carry after them But since my haps Haue been so happy as to get some scraps By Nature giu'n me from the Muses table I 'le put them to the best vse I am able I haue read Tasso Virgill Homer Ouid Iosophus Plutark whence I haue approued And found such obseruations as are fit With plenitude to fraught a barren wit And let a man of any nation be These Authors reading makes his iudgement fee Some rules that may his ignorance refine And such predominance it hath with mine No bladder-blowne ambition puff's my Muse An English Poets writings to excuse Nor that I any rule of art condem Which is Dame Natures ornamentall Iem But these poore lines I wrote my wits best pelse Defending that which can defend it selfe Know them vnnat'ral English Mungril Monster Thy wandring iudgemet doth too much misconster When thou affirm'st thy Natiue Country-man To make true verse no art or knowledge can Cease cease to do this glorious Kingdome wrong To make her speech inferiour to each tongue Shew not thy selfe more brutish then abeast Base is that bird that files her homeborne neast In what strange tongue did Virgils Muse commerce What language wast that Ouid wrote his verse Thou sâ—yst 't was Latin why I say so too In no tongue else they any thing could doo They Naturally did learne it from their mother And must speake Latin that could speake no other The Grecian blinded Bard did much compile And neuer vsde no foreigne far-fetcht stile But as hee was a Greeke his verse was Greeke In other tongues alas he was to seeke Du Bartas heauenly all admired Muse No vnknowne Language euer vs'de to vse But as he was a Frenchman so his lines In natiue French with fame most glorious shines And in the English tongue t is fitly stated By siluer-tongued Siluester translated So well so wisely and so rarely done That he by it immortall same hath wonne Then as great Mars and renowned Nasâ— Braue Homer Petrarke sweet Italian Tasse And numbers more past numbring to be numberd Whose rare inuentions neuer were incumberd With our outlandish chip chop gibrish gabblings To fill mens eares with vnacquâ—iated babbling Why may not then an English man I pray In his owne language write as crst did they Yet must we suit our phrases to their shapes And in their imitations be their Apes Whilst Muses haunt the fruitfull forked hill The world shall reuerence their vnmatched skill And for inuention fiction methood measure From them must Poets seeke to seeke that treasure But yet I think a man may vse that tongue His Country vses and doe them no wrong Then I whose Artlesse studies are but weake Who neuer could nor will but English speake Do heere maintaine if words be rightly plac'd A Poets skill with no tongue more is grac'd It runnes so smooth so sweetly it doth flow From it such heauenly harmony doth grow That it the vnderstanders sences moues With admiration to expresse their loues No musicke vnder heauen is more diuine Then is a well-writ and a well-read line But when a witlesse selfe-conceited Rooke A good inuention dares to ouerlooke How pitteous then mans best of wit is martyr'd In barbrous manner totter'd torne and quarter'dâ— So mingle mangled and so hack't and hewd So scuruily bescuruide and be me wde Then this detracting durty dunghill Drudge Although he vnderstand not yet will iudge Thus famous Poesie must abide the doome Of euery muddy-minded raskall Groome Thus rarest Artists are continuall stung By euery prating stinking lumpe of dung For what cause then should I so much repine When best of writers that ere wrote a line Are subiect to the censure of the worst Who will their follies vent or eise they burst I haue at idle times some Pamphlets writ The fruitlesse issue of a nat'rall wit And cause I am no Scholler some enuy me With soule and false calumnious words belie me With brazen fronts and flinty hard beleefe Affirming or suspecting me a theefe And that my sterrile Muse so dry is milch'd That what I write is borrow'd beg'd or filch'd Because my name is Taylor they suppose My best inuentions all from stealing growes As though there were no difference to be made Betwixt the name of Taylor and the Trade Of all strange weapons I haue least of skill To mannage or to wield a Taylors bill I cannot Item it for silke and facing For
and be Tombd with him together Sonnets 3. FRom two strong Iailes thy corps â—onâ—â— acquitted The one compact of flesh and bloud and bone The other vnrelenting sencelesse stone By God to one by man to one committed I euer did expect a happy time When thou shouldst shake by bondage from thy backer I euer hop'd that thy vnwilling crime Would be forgot and thou secur'd from wracke For this I wish'd and prat'd both day and night I onely aym'd to haue thy body freed But heau'n beyond my reason had decreed Soule body both at once to free thee quite Thou in thy life hast past a world of trouble But death from double Iailes hath freed thee double Sonnet 4. COrruption Incorruption hath put on Immortall weake mortality is made Earths wo hath gain'd a happy heauenly throne By death life dyes by life deaths force doth fade Though death kill life yet life doth conquer death Death but puts off our Rags of shame and â—ine When for a moment's an eternall breath Life passing through the dore of death doth win This thou well knowst my much beloued friend And therefore thou didst dare death to his worst But he much busied could not thee attend Or durst not till thy cares thy heart had burst And then the slaue came stealing like a thiefe And 'gainst his will did giue thy woes reliefe Sonnet 5. THou fortunes foot-ball whom she vs'd to tosse From wrong to wrong from wo to wo againe From griefe rebounding backe to pinching paine As 't please the blind-fold Dame to blesse or crosse But thou vnmou'd with either gaine or losse Nor ioy nor care could vexe they constant braine Thou smil'dst at all her buffets with disdaine And all her fauours thou esteem'dst as drosse Her and her Fauorites thou still didst deeme Iust as they are not as they seeme to be Her Minions all as fooles thou didst esteeme And that 's the cause she would not fauour thee Then since such reck'ning she of fooles doth make Would thou hadst beene one for her fauours fake Sonnet 6. T Is written in the euer liuing Word The Rule and Square that men should liue thereby Afflictions are the tuch-stones of the Lord. By which he onely doth his seruants try Then Noble Moray thou hadst many a tuch And still the patience good and currant prou'd Thy manly carriage in thy griefs were such Which made thee more then much admir'd and lou'd What yeer what month week day or fading houre Wherein some mischiefe did thee not befall Yet had Affliction ouer thee no power To conquer thee but thou didst conquer all Vnnumbred times thou wast both toucht and tri'd And in thy Makers feare and fauour dy'd Sonnet 7. VVEep heart weepe eyes weep my vnable pen In teares of blood of water and lake With bread of sorrow and afflictions drinke I liue for I haue lost a man of men Yet heart eyes pen dry vp your teares agen He is not lost he 's rather newly found Enfranchis'd from a dolefull theeuish den And with a rich Immortall Crowne is crownd Then hart eies pen no more with teares be drownd Weepe not for him that doth reioyce for euer Yet this againe my comfort doth confound Hee 's lost to mee and I shall find him neuer Then weep Muse heart eies pen lament and weepâ— My ioyes are buried in eternall sleepe Sonnet 8. SLeepe gentle spirit in Eternall rest Free from all heart-tormenting sorrow sleepe Whilst I doe vent from my care-crazed brest Hart-wondring sighs that there their mansion keepâ—â— And let my grones from out that Cauerne deepe With lamentations and cloud-cracking thunder And let mine eyes an Inundation weepe Let sighs grones teares make all the world to wonder I meane my little Microcosmo world Sigh stormes grone thunder weep a floud of tearesâ— Through eu'ry part of me let griefe be hurld That whosoeuer my lamenting heares May mone with me the cause of this my Ditty Or if not mone with me vonchsafe to pitty Sonnet 9. SInce cursed fates haue fatally decreed To tosse and tumble harmelesse Innocence And all the crue of hels abortiue breed Haue glutted Enuies maw by lawes defence Yet God whose knowledge knows the least offence Who all things sees with his all-searching eye Doth with his glorious great omnipotence Right wronged wrongs heares his seruants cry His mercie 's not immur'd within the sky But freely he doth powre it downe on earth He with afflictions scourge his sonnes doth try And when he pleases turnes their mone to mirth And though man liues in care and dies in sorrow A heauy euening brings a ioyfull morrow Sonnet 10. WEll hast thou runne in this â—y weary race Well hast thou fought with Satan hand to haÌ„d Th' ast won the Goale and gain'd the blessed Land That 's neither limitted with time or place There thou attendest on the thâ—â—â—â—â—â—e of Grace There Angels and Archangels sweetly sing Eternall praises to th' eternall King And see the glorious brightnesse of his face All this I doubt not but thou wâ—ll hast done Not of thy selfe with shamefull sinne pollated But thy Redeemer hath the coâ—â—iest wonne And vnto thee the victorie's imputed He paid the score and cancell'd all thy bands And gaue thee to his blessed Fathers hands Sonnet 11. NOw may you theeuing Poets filch and steale Without controlement breaking Priscians pate For he that whilom could your theft reueale Your Criticke and your Hypercriticke late Now may you cog and lye and sweare and prate And make your idle verses lame and halt For by the pow'r of euiternall Fate Hee 's gone that could and would correct each fault But you haue greatest cause to moane his want You sacred heau'nly Sisters three times thrice He from your Gardens could all weeds supplant And replant fruites and flowres of pecrelesse price He kept vnbroke your Numbers Tipes Tropes But now hee 's dead dead are your onely hopes Sonnet 12. AS Solon to rich haplesse Croesus said No man is happy till his life doth end The proofe in thee so piainly is displaid As if he thy Natiuity had kend What mortall miseries could mischiefe send But thou therein hast had a treble share As if Calamities their powers should bend To make thy Corps a treasure-house of care Yet fell Aduersity thou didst out-dare And valiantly 'gainst stormes of woe resisted Loue of the world they minde could not insnare Thou knewst wherein the best of best consisted And as old Solon said so I agree Death makes men happy as it hath done thee Sonnet 13. NO 〈…〉 Trophee Vertue needes And good report a marble Tombe out-weares â—â—â—â—â— plaies the Herald proclaimes mens deeds Her Trumps Thrill sound the spacious world heares And such an vniuersall Tombe hast thou Borne on the tops of thousand thousand tongs Thy liuing merit doth thy name allow A Monument for euer which belongs To none but such as whilom was thy selfe Who vs'd the world as if they vs'd it not And did
60. millions of Crownes King Neere eight score millions to the fire did bring Where fifteene daies did burne his house pelfe His whores 'mongst the rest his wretched selfe And Plutarch saith Marke * A King of Phrigia Anthony spent cleare Of Gold full sixe score millions in one yeere What should I speake of Cleopatraes Treasures Or wealth or Triumphs of the Roman Caesars Or what they were whose riches haue bin such Or who they are that now possesse too much But here 's the question seeing times of old Did yeeld such store of siluer and of gold And seeing daily more and more is found Digg'd in aboundance from the solid ground I muse which way the Deuill all is gone That I and thousand thousands can haue none I know my selfe as able to abuse it As any man that knowes well how to vse it But sure I neuer should my Master make it But as my seruant take it and forsake it I haue described in particular What Twelue-pence is how it hath trauell'd far How to all ages Sexes Trades and Arts It comes and goes it tarries and departs * A monÌ„â— centious Prince * Of Crownes which was much of it is Souldiers pay â—â— could tell further how it doth command â—â— * A shilling is a Presse master pressing men to serue by sea or land â—ow Bakers thirteene penny loaues doe giue â—ll for a shilling and thriue well and liue â—ow it a pottle of good Clarrct buyes â—ow 't is a quart of rich Canarics prise â—ow for a thousand things 't is daily ranging â—nd is so round a summe it needs no changing â—ow vp and downe the world he still doth fiâ—rit â—nd takes no more rest then an ayery spirit Then at the last my Muse to minde doth call The mighty power of money in generall And how all ages still haue had good store Musing the cause my selfe can haue no more And * A requst to Monâ—y Money hauing writ all this for thee Shew not thy selfe ingratefull vnto me But as I know thou canst so preethee grant That when I want thou wilt supply my want Reward thy Poet that doth set thee forth I 'le loue thee still according to thy worth FINIS TO THE RIGHT VVORSHIPFVLL AND TRVELY GENEROVS SIR IOHN FEARNE KNIGHT Noble Sir THe world suffiâ—iently knowes that you know what Ships and shipping are that you haue plowed the dangerous Oâ—ean and furrowed ouer the ragged bosome of Neptune â—et neuerthelesse I know that you haue tooke nâ—tice of my old and weâ—ther-beaten Land-Nauy being built withâ—ut either â—imber or iron rig'd nithcut râ—â—es or cordage whose Ordnance are discharged without match or pouder whose victuals are neither bread drinke fish flesh or good Kedâ—erring whose voyages are not performed with wind and water yet euer in action like aterpetual motton â—â— when you shall please to faâ—â—ur me so much as to peruse and suruey my strange Fleete or Armado you â—ill then per ceiue that your selfe hath sayled in or at the least bâ—orded most of my Ships of note for you are â—ell accquainted with the Lordship you are a friend to the Schollership you haue laid the Ladiship â—boord you haue entred the Apprentiship you are well known in the Courtship you haue saild in the Good-fellowship you loue the Friendship you affect the Fellowship you know the Footmanship you are â—ild in the Horsemanship you haue surprised and taken theâ— Worship and you knowâ— that belongs to the Woodmanship the Wardship and Stewardship I dâ—e for some reasons not â—â—ddle â—th all and I â—â—inke you haue seldome or neuer had any dealings with them the summe of all is I must â—â—â—â— desire your â—orships parden for my alrupt Dedication assuring you that it was only my loue and â—â—â— that put me on without any expectance of I aronage protection or reward and with my best wishes for they perpetuitie of your â—resene and euer future selicitie I rest Your Worships to command whilst I haue being IOHN TAYLOR AN ARMADO OR NAVY OF SHIPS AND OTHER VESSELS WHO HAVE THE ART TO SAYLE BY LAND AS WELL AS BY SEA THE NAMES OF THE SHIPS WITH THE NVMBER OF THE SQVADRONS 1 The Lord-SHIP whose Squadron were of Ships and other Vessels twelue in all 2 The Scholler-SHIP with ten others in all 3 The Lady-SHIP with twelue others 4 The Goodfellow-SHIP with twelue others 5 The Apprentice-SHIP with foure others 6 The Court-SHIP with eleuen others 7 The Friend-SHIP with foure others 8 The Fellow-SHIP with fiue others 9 The Footman-SHIP with fiue others 10 The Horseman-SHIP with foure others 11 The Surety-SHIP with seuen others 12 The Wor-SHIP with three others 13 The Wood man-SHIP with seuen other Besides there were seuen other needlesse Ships which were in the natures of Voluntaries or hangers on vpon the Nauy as namely The Mary Carry-Knaue Thâ— Knaues-encrease The Superfluous The Carelesse The Idle The Coxcombâ— The Braggard And what man soeuer he be that hath or doth not sayle in somâ— one Ship of this my Fleete Let him come to me and I will Ship him and allow hiâ— double wages THE DESCRIPTION HOW THE WHOLE NAVY IS VICTVALLED WITH THIRTY TWO SORTES OF LING BESIDES OTHER NECESSARIES FIrst thirty thousand couple of Change-LING appoynted onely for the dyet of such fellowes who had honest parents and are themselues changed into very Rascals Secondly Dar-LING this fish was dearer â—â—en fresh Salmon for it was consecrated to â—e Goddesse Venus it was of that high price â—â—at some men haue consumed their whole â—ordships Manners and credit in two or three â—â—eres onely in this kind of dyet therefore it â—â—not a dish for euery mans tooth for none but â—â—aue Sparkes rich heires Clarissimoes and Magnificoes would goe to the cost of it Thirdly Shaue-LING which was onely for â—e dyet of Priests Monkes and Fryers Fourthly Fond-LING this fish was Cockâ—eys and other pretty youths ouer whom â—â—eir Parents were so tender that a man might â—â—erceiue by ther manners they had beene betâ—â—r fed then taught Fiftly Tip-LING a dish for all men Sixthly Vnder-LING this fish was ship'd â—or witty younger brothers poore Schollers â—hat haue neither friends nor money Seuenthly Starue-LING this Ling was â—nely for the Bâ—rke beggerly which was man'd â—ith old discharged Seruing-men and mayâ—ned cassiered Soldiers and Mariners Eightly Strip-LING prouided for Pages â—â—ackeyes and Foot-boyes Ninthly â—oo-LING a dish for euery mans â—â—yet Tenthly Sward-LING against stomacke â—â—ut yet a dish of good vse Eleuenth Grumb-LING a discontented kinde of fish for the poorer sort of people to chaw vpon for when they doe thinke themselues wrong'd by their Superiours and dare not vtter their minds openly then they seed vpon Grumb-LING Twelfth Wrang-LING this Ling was falted by sixteene Pettifoggers in a long troublesome Terme it is held to be a lasting dish and will serue the whole Fleete with their posterities to the second and third generation Thirteene Troub-LING was prouided by certaine double
to euery Reader doe I write But onely vnto such as can Read right And with vnpartiall censures can declare As they find things to iudge them as they are For in this age Criticks are such store That of a B. will make a Battledore Swallow downe Camells and at Gnats will straine Make Mountaines of small Molehills and againe Extenuate faults or else faults amplifie According as their carping censures flye Such are within the Motto of I haue But though the gallant Gulls be ne'r so braue And in their owne esteeme are deemed wise I haue a mind their follies to despise There are some few that wil their iudgement season With mature vnderstanding and with reason And call a spade a spade a Sicophant A flatt'ring Knaue and those are those I want For those that seeme to read and scarce can spell Who neither point nor keepe their periods well Who doe a mans inuention so be-martyr So hanging drawing and so cut and quarter Making good lines contemptible threed-bare To keepe my booke from such as those I care Adue IOHN TAYLOR TAYLORS MOTTO ET HABEO ET CAREO ET CVRO. I HAVE I VVANT I CARE IS any man offended marry gep With a horse nightcap doth your Iadeship skip Although you kicke and fling and wince and spurn Yet all your Colts-tricks will not serue your turne Vice hath insected you 'gainst vertues force With more diseases then an aged horse * If all â—â—adeâ— saâ—e of VVaterman I will turne Farrier I doe not thinke that any Horse leâ—ch can blazon such a pedigree of matching nâ—ladiâ—s For some of you are hide-bound greedily Some haue the yellowes of false Ielousie Some with the staggers cannot stand vpright Some blind with Bribes can see to doe no right Some foundred that to Church they cannot goe Broke-winded some corrupted breath doth blow Some hoofe-bound some surbated and some graueld With trauelling where they shuld not haue traueld Some are crest-falne through th' immoderate vice Of gorgeous outsides smoake and drinke and dice And some are full of â—allenders and scratches The neck-cricke spauins shouldersplat and aches The ring-bone quitter-bone bots botch and scab And nauelgall with coursing of the Drab The back gall light-gall wind-gall shackle-gall And last the spur-gall the worst gall of all A good found horse needs not my whip to feare For none but Iades are wrung i' th withers here And doe these Hackneyes thinke to runne on still Without a bit or snafsle as they will And head-strong prancing through abuses dash And scape without a Satyrs yerking lash No they must know the Muses haue the might The vniust iustly to correct and smite To memorize victorious Vertues praise To make mens same or shame out-liue their dayâ— To force iniustice though it doe looke bigge With his owne nayles his cursed graue to digge T'emblaze the goodnesse of a man that 's poore And tell the vices of an Emperour All this the Muses dare and will and can Not sparing fearing flattring any man And so dare I if I iust cause doe see To write from feare or hate or flattry free Or taxing any in particulere But generall at all is written here For had I meant the Satyre to haue plaid In Aqua fortis I would whips haue laid And mixt my inke to make it sharpe with all With sublimate and Cockatrices gall Which with a Satyres spleene and fury fierce With the least ierke would to the entrailes pieâ—e And with a lash that 's lustily laid on Would strip and whip the world vnto the bone I know that none at me will spurne or kicke Whose consciences no villany doth pricke And such as those will in their kennels lye And gnar and snarle and grumble secretly But with full mouth they dare not barke or bite But fret within with rancor and despight For why before the world I make a vow There doth not liue that male or female now 'Gainst whom I haue so much as is a thought Much lesse against them are my Verses wrought This Motto in my head at first I tooke In imitation of a better Booke And to good mindes I no offence can giue To follow good examples whilst I liue â—or I had rather to abide detraction â—â—â—od be an Ape in any honest action â—hen wilfully into a fault to runne â—â—hough it before had by a King bin done â—â—e not here reuil'd against my betters â—hich make me fear no dungeon bolts or fetters â—or be he ne'r so great that doth apply â—â—y lines vnto himselfe is worse then I. â—mooth is my stile my method meane and plaine â—ee from a railing or inuectiue straine â—â— harmeleffe fashion here I doe declare â—ine owne rich wants poore riches and my care â—nd therefore at my wants let no man grieue â—xcept his charges will the same relieue â—nd for my Wealth except a rotten Boat â—â— neuer feared the cutting of my throat â—â—nd those that for my cares doe enuy me â—â—all in them if they list great sharers be â—â—ll my taxations are in generall â—â—oe any personall or nationall â—he troubles now in France I touch not here â—or of the Britainâ— Fleete before Argiâ—re â—or of the forces that the Turke doth bring â—gainst the Poland Kingdome and their King â—f Count Buckoy of Beth'lem Gabor or Of Spinola or any Ambassador Nor Denmarks King nor of the Emperour Nor Netherlands great Nauigable pow'r Nor of Religious points my Muse doth chant Of Roâ—â—ish Catholicke or Protestant Of Brownist Hussite or of Caluinist â—â—minian Puritan or Familist Nor against Corporation trade or Art My poore inuention speakes in any part And therefore Critticke snarle and snap and hang â—f inwardly thou feele my Satyres sang â—is wisedome in thee if thy spleene thou hide And mend thy selfe before thy faults be spide Thus as I boldly haue begun to enter Couragiously I 'l thorow the businesse venter Et Habeo I haue I Haue a Soule which though it be not good 'T was bought at a deare rate my Sauiours Blood And though the Diuell continually doe craue it Yet he that bought it hath most right to haue it I with my soule haue power to vnderstand The summe of my Creators great Command And yet I haue a Law within me still That doth rebell against his Sacred Will But though through merit I haue Hell deseru'd Through Mercy yet I haue a Heau'n reseru'd I haue a reason which can difference make 'Twixt good and bad to choose and to forsake I haue a working forward and free will Wherewith I haue inclined to doe ill I haue a Conscience which doth tell me true That for my sinnes the wrath of God is due And to relieue that Conscience terrifi'd I haue a Faith in Iesus Crucifi'd I haue a iudgement by the which I see And iudge how good and bad things different bee And with iust Censure I distinguish can The oddes beeweene a monster and a man But when with iudgement on my selfe I looke I straight wayes
Comick straine In Tragedy or any other vaine In nipping Satyrs or in Epigrams In Odes in Elegies or Anagrams In eare-bewitching rare Hexameters Or in Iämbicke or Pentameters I know these like a Sculler not a Scholler And therefore Poet pray asswage your choller If as a theese in writing you enuy me Before you iudge me doe your worst and try me TO THE MIRROR OF TIME THE MOST REFVLGENT SPLENDIDIO VS REFLECTING COVRT Animal Don Archibald Armstrong Great M. Comptroller Commander and Countermander of mirth alacrity sport and ridiculous confabulations in this Septentrionall â—â—â— Westerne Monarchie of Magna Britania Your poore and daily Orator IOHN TAYLOR wisheth increase of your wisdome in your owne person and that your eminence and spirit may be infused into the bosoms of most mens heires that esteeme more of Wealth then of Wisdome RIght worthy worthlesse Patron the dayes and times being such wherein wit goes a wooll-gathering in a thredbare Iacket and folly is well reputed amongst those that seeme wise I considering this hauing but little wit in a mad humour bade farewell it and neuer so much as asked the question Wit whither wilt thou Being certainly perswaded that playing the foole will repaire the â—â—reaches which my vnhappy wit hath made in the Bulwarke of my reputation as it hath done to many others wherefore good sir with reuerence I hearing that so great a member in your esteemed quality as M. Thomas Coriat of Odcomb was drowned in his passage towards Constantinople and knowing that many good and worthy writers haue graced his liuing trauels So I haue made bold vnder your great Patronage to write his tragicall supposed Death-song or Funerall Eâ—legie not knowing any man of that worthy worth besides your selfe to whom I might dedicate these sad Epicediums Thus not doubting of your acceptance and protection I commit my selfe and my labors to your wonderfull wisdomes cenâ—ure alwaies hauing a poore Muse to trauell in your seruice Iohn Taylor TO THE GENTLEMEN READERS THAT vnderstand A.B. from a Battledore No Sooner newes of Coriats death was com But with the same my Muse was strookeÌ„ dom â— whilst he liued he was my Muses subiect Her onely life and sense sole pleasing obiect OdeoÌ„bian Graecian Latin Great ThomAsse He being dead what life hath she alasse â— yet I hope his death was false Report Or else 't was rumord to beget some sport To try how his deare friends would take his death And what rare Epicediums they would make T' accompany his all-lamented Herse In hobling iobling rumbling tumbling verse Some smooth some harsh some shorter some long As sweet Melodious as Madge Howlets song But when I saw that no man tooke in hand To make the world his worth to vnderstand Then vp I bussled from Obliuions den And of a Ganders quill I made a pen With which I wrote this following worke of woe Not caring much if he be dead or noâ— For whilst his body did containe a life The rarest wits were at continuall strife Who should exceed each other in his glory But none but I haue writ His Tragick story If he be dead then farewell he if not At his returne his thankes shall be thy lot Meane time my Muse doth like an humble Pleaâ—â— Intreat acceptance of the gentle Reader Remaining yours euer IOHN TAYLOR A SAD IOYFVLL LAMENTABLE DELIGHTFVLL MERRY-GO-SORRY ELEGY OR FVNERALL POEM VPON the supposed death of the famous Cosmographicall Surueior and Historiographicall Relator M r THOMAS CORIAT of Odcomb O For a rope of Onions from Saint Omers And for the muse of golden tongued Homers That I might write and weepe and weep and write Odcombian Coriats timelesse last good-night O were my wit inspir'd with Scoggins vaine Or that Will Summers ghost had seaz'd my braine Or Tarlton Lanum Singer Kempe and Pope Or she that danc'r and umbled on the rope Or Tilting Archy that so brauely ran Against Don Phebâ—â— knight that wordy man O all you crue in side pi'd coloured garments Assist me to the height of your preferments And with your wits and spirits inspire my pateful That I in Coriats praise be not ingratefull If euer age lamented losse of folly If euer man had cause of Melancholly Then now 's the time to waile his ruthlesse wracke And weepe in teares of Clares and of Sack ANd now according to my weake inuention His wondrous worthles worthines I 'l mention Yet to describe him as he is or was The wit of Men or monsters would surpasse His head was a large poudring tub of phrases WheÌ„ce men would pick delites as boys pick daises O head no head but blockhouse of fierce wars Where wit and earning were at daily lars Who should possesse the Mansion of his pate But at the last to end this great debate Admired learning tooke his heads possession And turnd his wit a wandring in progression But Miny on Muse hold whither wilt thou goe Thinkst thou his rare anatomy to shew None borne a Christian Turke nor yet in Tartary Can write each veyne each sinew and each artery His eyes and eares like Broakers by extortion Ingrost strange forraine manners and proportion But what his eyes and eares did see or heare His tongue or pen discharg'd the reckoning cleare That sure I thinke he well could proue by law He vttered more then e'r he heard or saw His tongue and hands haue truly paid their score And freely spent what they receiu'd and more But lord to see how farre o'r-shot am I To wade thus deepe in his Anatomy What now he is I 'l lightly ouerpasse I 'l onely write in part but what he was That as Grim Death our pleasures thus hath crost T is good because he 's gon to know what 's lost HEe was the Imp whilst he on earth suruiu'd From whom this west-worlds pastimes were deriu'd He was in City Country field Court The Well of dry braind lests and Pump of sport He was the treasure-house of wrinckled laughter Where melancholly moods are put to slaughter And in a word he was a man 'mongst many That neuer yet was paralleld by any Who now like him in spite of wind and weather Will weare one shiftlesse shirt 5. months together Who now to doe his natiue country grace Will for a Trophee execute his case Who now will take the height of euery Gallowes Or who 'l describe the signe of euery Alchouâ—e Whether his Host were bigge or short or tall And whether he did knock e'r he did call The colour of his Host and Hostesse haire What he bought cheap what he paid for deare For Veale or Mutton what he paid a ioynt Where he sate down and where he loos'd a poynt Each Tower each Turret and each lofty steeple Who now like him wil tel the vulgar people Who now will set a worke so many writers As he hath done in spite of his back-biters With Panegericks Anagrams Acrosticks â—emblazon him the chiefe among fantasticks â—las not one not one
three-pil'd blunted blade And flasâ—t in twaine the equinoctiall line Tâ—â— Thumâ— did through th' Arabian deserts wade Where Caster and his brother Pollux shine The threed-bare slap-Iacks of the westerne Iles Exasperate the Marble Sithian Snow Dame Veâ—â— traueld fifty thousand miles To see the bounds of Nilus ebbe and flow The Gormundizing Quagmires of the East Inâ—â—rgitate the Eremanthean Bull And rude rebounding Sagitarious Ceast To pipe Leualtoes to Gonzagaes Trull The Adriaricke Dolcats fate carousing And hidebound Gogmagog his shirt was lowsing Sweet Semi-circled Cynthia plaid at maw The whilst Endimion ran the wild-goose chase Great Bacchus with his Cros-bow kild a daw And sullen Saturne smil'd with pleasant face The nine-fold Bugbeares of the Caspian lake Sate whistling Ebon horne-pipes to their Ducks Madge-howlet straight for ioy her Girdle brake And rugged Satyrs friskd like Stagges and Bucks The vntam'd tumbling fifteene footed Goat With promulgation of the Lesbian shores Confronted Hydra in a sculler Boat At which the mighty mountaine Taurus rores Meane time great Sultan Soliman was borne And Atlas blew his rustick rumbling horne IF there be any Gentlemen or others that are desirous to be practitioners in the Barmoodo and Vtopian tongues the Professor being the Authour hereof dwelleth at the Old Swanne neere London Bridge who will teach them that are willing to learne with a gility and facility FINIS THE EIGHTH VVONDER OF THE VVORLD OR CORIATS ESCAPE FROM HIS SVPPOSED DROWNING DEDICATED To the Mighty Magnificent Potent and Powerfull Knight Sir Thomas Parsons alias Pheander alias Knight of the Sunne Great Champion to Apollo Palatine of Phoebus Sword-hearer to Sol Tilter to Tytan Housekeeper to Hyperion and heire apparant to the inuisible kingdome of the Fairies your deuoted Votary IOHN TAYLOR wisheth your Worshits wisdomes Longitude Latitude Altitude and Crassitude may increase aboue the Ridiculous multitude of the most eminent Stultorums of this latter age To thee braue knight who from the Delphia god come â— coÌ„secrate these famous Acts of Odcomb To thee alone and vnto none but thee For Patronage my toyling Muse doth flee I gaue my drowning Coriat vnto Archy And with his faire escape to thee now march I Not doubting but thou wilt in kindnesse take These lines thus writ for his and thy deare sake If thou in kindnesse wilt accept this taske Hereafter I will better things vn-caske And make the world thy worth to glory at In greater measure then at Coriat I 'l mount thee vp in verse past Charles his Wain I 'l make the Moone Endimion to disdaine I 'l write in euer-during lines thy fame As farre as Phoebus spreads his glorious flame I 'l make thee plucke sterne Saturne by the Chaps And braue great Ioue amids his thunder-clappes I 'l cause thy praise t' eclipse the god of Armes I 'l make Dame Venus yeeld to loues alarmes The nimble Mercury shall be thy foot-man If thou wilt grace my lines therfore looke tooâ— maâ— But if to patronize me thou dost scorne 'T were better then thou neuer hadst beene borne For 'gainst difdaine my Muses onely sport is To write with Gall commixt with Aqua-fortis And Vineger and Salt and Sublimatum Which where it falls wil scortch scald probatuâ— Then as thou lou'st the Fairy Queene thine Aunt Daine to vouchsafe this poore and triuiall grannt Then I thy Poet will with low Subiection Proceed to write Tom Coriats Resurrection Yours euer whos 's endeauoir shall perseuer in your seruice IOHN TAYLOR To the knowing Reader NOw sir it is a common customary vse in these times to salute you with somewhat as Honest Kinde Courteous Louing Friendly or Gentle but all these Epithites are ouer-worne and doe as it were stinke of the fusty garbe of Antiquity Besides if I should come vpon you with any of these claw-backe tearmes I might chance to belye you But if your kinde disposition doth merit to bee called kinde I pray let me finde it in your fauourable censure Some will perhaps dislike that I doe dedicate my bookes to Archy and Sir Thomas and such like To them I answere that my subiect being altogether foolish I were very absurd to thinke that any wise man would be my Patron And it were meere follie for mee to make a hotch-potch in seeking to compound wisedome and follie together But how soeuer thou esteemest it it thrusts it selfe into thy view wherein if thou beest not too much drowned in Melancholie thou wilt shew thy teeth if thou hast any with laughing And as â—â— lines are somewhat defectiue in their shape so I pray thee doe not hacke them nor hew them with thy stammering to make them worse nor Buzzard-blast them with thy â—alumniating mewes rushes and scuruies Thus leauing thee to thy selfe and my selfe vnto thee I remaine thine as thou respect'st me IOHN TAYLOR The cause of the contention betwixt sir Thomas the Scholer and Iohn the Sculler A Pamphlet printed was The Sculler nam'd Wherein Sir Thomas much my writing blam'd Because in Epigram therin was written In which he said he was nipt gald and bitten He frets he funâ—â— he rages and exclaimes And vowes to rouze me from the Riuer Thames Well I to make him some amends for that Did write a Booke was cald Laugh and be fat In which he said I wrong'd him ten times more And made him madder then he was before Then did he storme and chase and sweare and ban And so superiour powers amaine he ran Where he obtained Laugh and be fat 's confusion Who all were burnt and made a hot conclusion Then after that when rumour had him drownd The newes whereof my vexed Muse did wound I writ a letter to thâ— Elizian coast T' appease his angry wrong-incensed Ghost The which my poore inuention then did call Odcombs Complaint or Coriats Funerall But since true newes is come he scap'd that danger And through hot Sun-burnt Asia is a ranger His raising from the dead I thought to write To please my selfe and giue my friends delight The VVorlds eighth VVonder OR CORIATS REVIVING LOI the man whose Muse did lately forage Through winds seas with dreadlesse dantlesse corage And to the life in hodg-podg rime exprest How Odcombâ— Corâ—as was great Neptunes ghest How Thâ—â—â— sweedy full'd him in her lappe And as her darling fed the Barne with pappe How big mouth'd AEol storm'd and pust and blew And how both winds and Sea with all their crue Were pleas'd and displeas'd tumbled rag'd and tost The Gainers glad and mad were they that lost These tedious taskes my toyling Muse hath run And what she did for Coriats sake was dun Shee hath transported him to Bossems Inne Where in a Basket he hath hanged bin Shee hath inuolu'd him in the hungry deepe In hope to leaue him in eternall sleepe Yet hauing hang'd him first and after drown'd him My poore laborious Muse againe hath found him For 't is her duty still to wait and serue him Although the Fates should hang or
I am loth to belye any man But if you bee addicted to any of these aforesaid vertues I pray let mee finde it in your fauourable Censure and so I leaue you to laugh â—d lie downe Bee fat LAVGH AND BE FAT Now Monsieur Coriat let them laugh that wins For I assure ye now the game begins â— is wondrous strange how your opinions vary â—â—m iudgement senceâ— or reason so contrary â—at with infamous rash timerity â—m raile at me with such seuerity â—be broad-fac'd lefts that other men put on you â—â—take for fauours well bestow'd vpon you â—sport they giue you many a pleasant cuffe â—â— no mans lines but mine you take in snuffe â—hich makes the ancient Prouerbe be in force â—at some may with more safety steale a horse Then others may looke on for still it falls The weakest alwayes must goe to the walls I need no vse this Etymology My plainer meaning to exemplifie Which doth induce me to expresse the cause That my vntutor'd Pen to writing drawes Be it to all men by these presents knowne That lately to the world was pâ—ainely showne In a huge volume Gogmagoticall In Verse and Prose with speech dogmaticall Thy wondrous Trauels from thy natiue home How Odly out thou went'st and Odly â—ome And how as fitted best thy Workes of worth The rarest Wits thy Booke did vsher forth But I alas to make thy fame more fuller Did lately write a Pamphlet Call'd the Sculler In which as vnto others of my friends I sent to theâ— braue Monsieur kind commends Which thou in double dudgeon tak'st from me And vow'st and swor'st thou wilt reuenged be The cause I heare your fury flameth from I said I was no dunce-combe cox-combe Tom What 's that to you good Sir that you should fume Or rage or chase or thinke I durst presume To speake or write that you are such a one I onely said that I my selfe was none Yet Sir I 'l be a Cocks-combe if so please you If you are ouer-laden Sir I 'l ease you Your store of witlesse wisdome in your budget To giue your friend a little neuer grudge it Nor that from Odcombs towne I first began Nor that I greeke or Latine gabble can I am no Odcombe Tom why what of that Nor nothing but baro English can I chat I pray what wrong is this to you good Sur Your indignation why should this incurre Nor that I thought our Land had spent her store That I need visit Venice for a whore Which if I would I could make neerer proofes And not like you so farre to gall my hoofes I said if such a volume I should make The rarest wits would scorne such paines to take At my returne amidst my skarre-crow totters To runne before me like so many trotters I know my merits neuer will be such That they should deigne to honour me so much I further said I enuied not your state For you had nothing worthy of my hate In loue your innocence I truly pitty Your plentious want of wit seemes wondrous wittie Your vertue cannot breed my hatefull lothing For what an asse were I to hate iust nothing Your vice I bare not neither I protest But loue and laugh and like it like the rest Your vice nor vertue manners nor your forme Can breed in me fell enuies hatefull worme I said it was a lodging most vnfit Within an idle braine to house your wit Here I confesse my fault I cannot hide You were not idle nor well occupide Be 't faire or foule be 't early or be 't late Your simple witlies in your humble pate A King sometimes may in a cottage lye And Lyons rest in swines contagious stye So your rare wit that 's euer at the full Lyes in the cane of your rotundious skull Vntill your wisedomes pleasure send it forth From East to West from South vnto the North With squib-crack lightning empty hogshead thundring To maze the world with terror with wondring I boldly bade you foole it at the Court There 's no place else so fit for your resort But though I bid you foole it you may chuse Though I command yet Sir you may refuse For why I thinke it more then foolish pitty So great a iemme as you should grace the citty Whilst I would foole it on the liquid Thames Still praying for the Maiesty of Iames. Good Sir if this you take in such disgrace To giue you satisfaction take my place And foole it on the Thames whilst I at Court Will try if I like you can make some sport Or rather then for fooleship we will brawle You shall be foole in Court on Thames and all Thus what to you I writ loe here 's the totall And you with angry spleen haue deign'd to note â—â—â— And vow from hell to hale sterne Nemesis To whip me from the bounds of Thamesis Yet when I ope your paper murd'ring booke I see what paines the wisest wits haue tooke To giue you titles supernodicall In orders orderlesse methodicall There doe I see how euery one doth striue In spight of Death to make thee still suruiue No garded gowne-man dead nor yet aliue But they make thee their great superlatiue In the beginning Alphabeticall With figures tropes and words patheticall They all successiuely from A to N Describe thee for the onely man of Men. The frontispice of Master Coriats Booke very â—â—â— nedly descanted vpon by Master Laurence Whitakers and Master Beniamin Ionson Thy Shipping and thy Haddocks friendly feeding Thy Carting in thy Trauels great proceeding Thy riding Stirroplesse thy iadish courser Thy Ambling o'r the Alpes and which is worser After the Purgatory of thy Legges Thy Puncke bepelts thy pate with rotten egges When thou braue man assault'st to boord a Pinace As fits thy state she welcomes thee to Venice Thy running from the mis-beleeuing Iew Because thou thought'st the Iew sought more then â—â—â— For why the Iew with superstition blind Would haue thee leaue what most thou lou'st behind How with a rusticke Boore thou mad'st a fray And manfully broughtst all the blowes away The Turkish Emp'rour or the Persian Sophy Can hardly match thy monumentall Trophy Thy ancient Ierkin and thy aged sloppes From whose warme confines thy retainers drops I stand in feare to doe thy greatnesse wrong For 't is suppos'd thou wast a thousand strong Who all deriu'd from thee their happy breeding And from thy bounty had their clothes feeding Thy lasting shooes thy stockings and thy garters To thy great fame are drawn and hangd in quarters Thy Hat most fitly beautifies thy crest Thy wits great couer couers all the rest The letter K doth shew the brauest fight But wherefore K I 'm sure thou art no Knight Why might not L nor M nor N or O As well as knauish K thy picture show But saucie K I see will haue a place When all the Crosse-row shall endure disgrace Who at the letter K doth truly seeke Shall see thee hemm'd with Latine with
reason forme or hue He kicks and stings and winces thee thy due He maketh shift in speeches mysticall To write strange verses Cabalisticall Much like thy booke and thee in wit and shape Whilst I in imitation am his Ape Mount Maluora swimming on a big-limb'd guat And Titan tilting with a flaming Swanne Great Atlas flying on a winged Sprat Arm'd with the Hemispheares huge warming pan Or like the triple Vrchins of the Ash That lie and she through Morpheus sweet-fac'd doore Doth drowne the starres with a Poledauies flash And make the smooth-heel'd ambling rocks to roâ—â— Euen so this tall Colombrum Pigmy steeple That bores the Butterflie aboue the spheare Puls AEolus taile and Neptunes mountaines tippleâ— Whilst Coloquintida his fame shall reare Loe thus my Muse in stumbling iadish verse On horse-backe and on foot thy praise rehearse Pricksong Here 's one harmoniously thy same doth raise With Pricksong verse to giue thee prick praise But prick nor spur can make thee mend thy troâ— For thou by nature art nor cold nor hot But a meere nat'rall neutrall amongst men Arm'd like the bristles of a Porcupen If French or Venice Puncks had fir'd or scald thee This man had neuer raw-bon'd Coriat call'd thee Thou that so many Climats hotly coasted I wonder much thou wast not boild nor rosted Yet euery man that earst thy carkasse saw Are much in doubt if thou bee'st roast or raw Iohannes Pawlet de George Henton Now here 's another in thy praises ran And would intitle thee the great god Pan. No warming pan thou art I plainely see No fire-pan nor no frying-pan canst thou be Thou art no creame-pan neither worthy man Although thy wits lie in thy heads braine-pan Lionel Cranfield This Gentleman thy wondrous trauels rips And nothing that may honour thee he skips Thy yron memory thy booke did write I prethee keepe a wench to keepe it bright For cankerd rust I know will yron fret And make thee wit and memory forget Left rust therefore thy memory should deuoure I 'd haue thee hire a Tinker it to scowre Iohannes Sutclin Now here 's a friend doth to thy fame confesse Thy wit were greater if thy worke were lesse He from thy labour treats thee to giue o're And then thy case and wit will be much more Lo thus thy small wit and thy labour great He summons to a peaceable retreat Inigo Iones What liuing wight can in thy praise be dum Thou crowing Cock that didst from Odcom com This Gentleman amongst the rest doth flocke To sing thy fame thou famous Odcomb'd cocke And learnedly to doe thee greater grace Relates how thou canst scrue thy veriuyce face He wishes him that scornes thy booke to read It at the sessions house he chance to plead That he may want his booke although he craue But yet thy booke will sooner hang then saue So many gallowses are in thy booke Which none can read without a hanging looke Georgius Siddenham Now here 's a Substantiue stands by himselfe And makes thee famous for an anticke else But yet me thinkes he giues thee but a frumpe In telling how thou kist a wenches rumpe To spoile her ruffe I thinke thou stood'st in fearâ— That was the cause that made thee kisse her there Robertus Halswell Thy praise and worth this man accounts not small But ' thad bin greater writing not at all Thy booke he calls Dame Admirations brother I thinke the world vnworthy such another Thy booke can make men merry that are sad ' But such another sure will make men mad Iohannes Gifford This friend amongst the rest takes little paine To laud the issue of thy teeming braine And to applaud thee with his best endeauor He begs his wits to helpe him now or neuer He bids graue Munster reuerence thy renowne And lay his pen aside and combe thy crowne He praises thee as though he meant to split all And saies thou art all wit but yet no witall Except thy head which like a skonce or fort Is barracado'd strong left wits resort Within thy braines should rayse an insurrection And so captiue thy head to wits subiection Robertus Corbet The luggage of thy wit thy Booke he tearmes The bagge and baggage of thy legs and armes That neuer can be vnderstood by none But onely such as are like thee alone Iohannes Donnes This Gentleman commends thy Trauels much Because like thee was neuer any such Decembers thunder nor hot Iulies snow Are nothing like the wonders thou dost show Iohannes Chapman Here 's one in kindnesse learnedly compacts Thy naturall iests and thy all naturall acts And craues the Reader would some pity take To buy thy booke euen for his owne deare sake For of thy trauels and thy great designes There 's little matter writ in many lines Thou in much writing tak'st such great delight That if men read thou car'st not what thou write This man could well afford to praise thee more But that hee 's loth to haue thee on his score For he no longer will thy praise pursue Lest he should pay thee more then is his due Iohannes Owen This Author to thy fame in friendship saies How ancient Writers pend the Asses praise And wishes some of them aliue agen That they alone might thy high praises pen. Petrus Alley Now here 's a friend that lowd thy glory rings With Cannons Sakers Culuerings and Slings Guns drums and phifes and the thrill clang'rous truÌ„pet Applauds thy courting the Venetian struÌ„pet Samuel Page This Gentleman accounts it no great wrong Amidst thy praise to say thy cares be long His meaning my construction much surpasses I wet not what he meanes except an â—â—â— Thomas Momford Here 's a strange riddle puts me much in doubt Thy head 's within thy wit thy wit 's without 'T were good some friend of thine would take the paines To put thy wit i' the inside of thy braines For pitty doe not turne it out of dore Thy head will hold it if'twere ten times more Thomas Bastard This Gentleman aduiseth thee take heed Lest on thy praise too greedily thou feed But though too much a surfet breed he saies Yet thou shalt surfet but not die of praise Guilielmus Baker Here 's one by no meanes at thy same can winke And saies how most men say thou pissest inke If it be true I 'de giue my guilded raper That to thy inke thou couldst sir-reuerence paper Thy gaines would be much more thy charges lesse When any workes of thine come to the Presse 'T were good thy eares were par'd from off thy head 'T would stand Cosmographers in wondrous stead To make a Globe to serue this massie earth To be a mappe of laughter aud of mirth All new-found sustian phrases thou do'st sup And ' gainst a dearth of words dost hoard them vp Yet where thou com'st thou spendst thy prating pelse Thogh no man vnderstand thee nor thy selfe Thou art a iewell to be hang'd most fit In eares whose heads are nothing
Toms Tom Thumbe Tom foole Tom piper and Tom-asse Thou Tom of Toms dost all these Toms surpasse Tom tell-troth is a foolish gull to thee There 's no comparisons twixt thee and hee If tell-troth Tom were any of thy kin I thinke thy Booke not halfe so big had bin Clareanus Videanus Not last nor least but neere thy praises end This worthy man thy worthlesse works commend No scuruy idle name he will thee call And therefore he will call thee none but all If I on euery Epithete should write Thy friends bestow on thee thou wandring wight No Reader then durst on my writings looke They would so far out-swell thy boystrous booke But shortest writ the greatest wit affoords And greatest wit consists in fewest words Thus Monsieur Coriat at your kind request My recantation here I haue exprest And in my Commentaries haue bin bold To write of all that haue your fame inrol'd I meane of such my wit can vnderstand That speake the language of the Britaine land But for the Latine French the Greeke or Spanish Italian or the Welsh from them I vanish I on these tongues by no meanes can comment For they are out of my dull Element Consider with your selfe good Sir I pray Who hath bin bolder with you I or they If I I vow to make you satisfaction Either in words or pen or manly action I haue bin bold to descant on each iest Yet from the Text I nothing wrong did wrest My lines may be compared to the Thames Whose gliding current and whose glassie streames On which if men doe looke as in a glasse They may perceiue an asse to be an asse An owle an owle a man to be a man And thou thou famous great Odcombian Shalt see thy selfe descypherd out so plaine Thou shalt haue cause to thanke me for my paine But holla holla whither runnes my pen I yet haue descanted what other men Haue wrote before but now I thinke it fit To adde additions of mine owne to it I yet haue champ'd what better writers chaw'd And now my Muse incites me to applaud Thy worth thy fortune and thy high desart That all the world may take thee Asse thou art And now to sing thy glory I begin Thy worthy welcome vnto Bossoms Inne M'Coriats entertainement at Bossoms Inne IEwes-trumpt Bag-pipes musick high and low Stretch to the height your merry squeking notes And all you Cockney cocks clap wings and crow Here comes an Odcomb cocke will eat no oates Pipes tabers fiddles trebble and the base Blow sound and scrape fill all the ayre with mirth Blind harpers all your instruments vncase And welcome home the wonder of the earth Great Coriat mirrour of the foure-fold world The fountaine whence Alacrity doth flow On whom rich Nature nat'rall gifts hath hurld Whom all admire from Palace to the Plow The onely Aristarck-asse of this age The maine Exchequer of all mad-cap glee For Fortune thrust him on this earthly stage That he the onely Thing of Things should be He that so many galling steps hath trac'd That in so many countries earst hath bin And to his euiternall same is grac'd To be well welcom'd vnto Bossoms Inne Vnto which place whilst Christians time doth last If any once in progresse chance to come They of my Lords great bounty needs must taste Which oftentimes doth proue a pondrous summe For why my lusty liberall minded Lord Is very friendly to all passengers And from his bounty freely doth afford Both pounds and purses to all messengers And thither now is Monsieur Odcombe come Who on his owne backe-side receiuâ—d his pay Not like the entertainement of Iacke Drum Who was best welcome when he went his way But he not taking my Lords coyne for current Against his Lordship and his followers raues Like to a cruell all-deuouring torrent These words he vtterd stuff'd with thuÌ„dring brâ—â— Bafe vassals of the blacke infernall den Vntutor'd peasants to the fiends of hell Damn'd Incubusses in the shapes of men Whose mind 's the sinke where impious dealings dwell Curst age when buzzards owles and blinded bats Against the princely Eagle rise in swarmes When weazels polecats hungry tau'ning rats Against the Lyon raise rebellious armes When as the offall of the vilest earth Raile roguishly ' gainst their superiour powers And seeme to contradict them in their mirth And blast with stinking breath their pleasat houres When base mechanicke muddy-minded slaues Whose choysest food is garlicke and greene cheese The cursed off-spring of hells horrid caues Rude rugged rascals clad in pelt and freeze And such are you you damn'd Tartarian whelps Vnmanner'd mungrels sonnes of Cerberuâ— Whom Pluto keepes for speedy hellish helps T' increase the monarchie of Erebus But now my Muse with wrinkled laughter fild Is like to bursts O hold my sides I pray For straight my Lord by his command'ment wild Cause Coriat did his Lordship disobay That in the Basket presently they mount him And let him see his ancient royall tower For he hath maz'd them all that they account him To be some mighty man of forcelesse power And now the matter plainer to disclose A little while I 'll turne my verse to prose 2. Oration COntaminous pestiferous preposterous stygmaticall slauonians slubberdegullions since not the externall vnualued trappings caparisons or accoutrements that I weare as outward ornaments or inuellopings of the more internall beauty of the minde that is â—â—is incaged within them since not the eye-amazing character of my austere Physiognomy since not the sword of Aiax nor the words of â—vlisses since no meanes nor proiect neither of â—force or policy could stay the rugged râ—bustiâ—ous rage that your innated hereditary inciuility or inhumanity hath made you to inflict â—on me I vow and sweare by the burning heard of scorching Sol and by the bloudy cut-throat cuttleaxe of swaggering Mars and by the dimple faire Venus chin and by the armed cornuted front of sweating Vulcan that I will execute on you such confounding vengeance that your off-springs off-spring to the 39. generation shall ban with execrations as bitter as coloquintida the day houre and bald-paâ—â—ed Time of this your audacious insolency And thou ignoble horse-rubbing peasant that by the borrowed title of a Lord being but a vilipendious mechanicall Hostler hast laid this insulting insupportable command on me the time shall come when thou shalt cast thy â—nticke authority as a snake casts her skin and then thou for an example to future posterities shalt make an vnsauory period of thy maleuolent dayes in litter and horse-dongue No sooner was this graue Oration ended Whereto my Lord and all his traine attended Being strooken in an admirable maze That they like Ghosts on one another gaze Quoth one This man doth coniure sure I thinke No Quoth another He is much in drinke â— Nay quoth a third I doubt he 's raging mad Faith quoth my Lord he 's a most dangerous lad For such strange English from his tongue doth slide As no man
into their Countrey So that he earnestly disswaded me from the iourney if I loued my life and welfare at last he concluded his discourse with me by a summe of mony that he threw downe from a window thorow which he looked out into a sheete tied vp by the foure corners and hanging very neere the ground a hundred pieces of siluer each worth two shillings sterling which counteruailed ten pounds of our English mony this businesse I carried so secretly by the helpe of my Persian that neither our English Ambassadour nor any other of my Countrymen sauing one special priuate and intrinsicall friend had the least inkling of it till I had throughly accomplished my designe for I well knew that our Ambassadour would haue stopped and Barracadoed all my proceeding therein if he might haue had any notice thereof as indeed he signified vnto mee after I had effected my proiect alleaging this forsooth for his reason why he would haue hindred me because it would redound somewhat to the dishonour of our Nation that one of our Countrey should present himselfe in that beggerly and poore fashion to the King out of an insinuating humour to craue money of him But I answered our Ambassadour in that stout and resolute manner after I had ended my businesse that hee was contented to cease nibbling at me neuer had I more need of money in all my life then at that time for in truth I had but twenty shillings sterling left in my purse by reason of a mischance I had in one of the Turkes Cities called Emert in the country of Mesopotamia where a miscreant Turke stripped me of almost all my monyes according as I wrote vnto you in a very large letter the last yeere which I sent from the Court of this mighty Monarch by one of my Countrymen that went home by Sea in an English shippe laden with the commodities of this India which letter I hope came to your hands long since After I had beene with the King I went to a certain Noble and generous Christian of the Armenian race two dayes iourney from the Mogols court to the end to obserue certaine remarkeable matters in the same place to whom by meanes of my Persian tongue I was so welcome that hee entertained me with very ciuill courteous complement and at my departure gaue mee very bountifully twenty pieces of such kind of mony as the King had done before counteruayling forty shillings sterling About ten dayes after that I departed from Azmere the court of the Mogoll Prince to the end to begin my Pilgrimage after my long rest of fourteene moneths backe againe into Persia at what time our Ambassadour gaue mee a piece of Gold of this Kings Coyne worth foure and twenty shillings which I will saue if it bee possible till my ariuall in England so that I haue receiued for beneuolences since I came into this countrey twenty markes sterling sauing two shillings eight pence and by the way vpon the confines of Persia a little before I came into this country three and thirty shillings foure pence in Persian money of my Lady Sherly aâ— this present I haue in the City of Agra where-hence I wrote this letter about twelue pounds sterling which according to my manner of liuing vpon the way at two pence sterling a day for with that proportion I can liue pretty well such is the cheapnesse of all eateable things in Asia drinkable things costing nothing for seldome doe I drinke in my pilgrimage any other liquor then pure water will maintaine me very competently three yeeres in my trauell with meat drinke and clothes Of these gratuities which haue beene giuen me willingly would I send you some part as a demonstration of the filiall loue and affection which euery child bred in ciuility and humility ought to performe to his louing and good mother but the distance of space betwixt this place and England the hazard of mens liues in so long a iourney and also the infidelity of many men who though they liue to come home are vnwilling to render an account of the things they haue receiued doe not a little discourage mee to send any precious token vnto you but if I liue to come one day to Constantinople againe for thither I doe resolue to goe once more by the grace of Christ and therehence to take my passage by land into Christendome ouer renouned Greece I will make choice of some substantiall and faithfull Countriman by whom I will send some prety token as an expression of my dutifull and obedient respect vnto you I haue not had the oportunity to see the King of Persia as yet since I came into this country but I haue resolued to goe to him when I come next into his Territories and to search him out wheresoeuer I can find him in his Kingdome for seeing I can discourse with him in his Persian tongue I doubt not but that going vnto him in the forme of a Pilgrime hee will not onely entertaine me with good words but also bestow some worthy reward vpon me beseeming his dignity and person for which cause I am prouided before-hand with an excellent thing written in the Persian-tongue that I meane to present vnto him and thus I hope to get beneuolences of worthy persons to maintaine me in a competent manner in my whole pilgrimage till come into England which I hold to be as laudable and a more secure course then if I did continuall carry store of mony about mee In the letter which I wrote vnto you by an English ship the last yeere I made relation vnto you both of my iourney from the once holy Hierusalem hither and of the state of this Kings Court and the Customes of this Country therefore I hold it superfluous to repeat the same things againe but what the Countryes are that I meane to see betwixt this and Christendome and how long time I will spend in each country I am vnwilling to aduertise you of at this present desiring rather to signifie that vnto you after I haue performed my designe then before howbeit in few words I will tell you of certaine Cities of great renoune in former times but now partly ruined that I resolue by Gods helpe to see in Asia where I now am namely ancient Babylon and Nimrods Tower some few miles from Niniue and in the same the Sepulcher of the Prophet Ionas spacious and goodly Câ—â— in Egypt heretofore Memphis vpon the famous Riuer Nilus where Moses Aaron and the children of Israel liued with K. Pharaoh whose ruined Palace is shewed there till this day and a world of other moueable things as memorable as any City of the whole world yeeldeth sauing onely Ierusalem but in none of these or any other Cities of note doe I determine to linger as I haue done in other places as in Constantinople and Azmere in this Easterne India onely some few daies will I tarry in a principall citie of fame to obserue euery
brought Cotton once to line his Breeches And that the Tayler laid the Cotton by And with old painted Cloth the roome supply Which as the owner for his vse did weare Anayle or seeg by chance his breech did teare At which he saw the linings and was worth For Diues and Lazarus on the painted Cloth The Gluttons dogs and hels fire hotly burning With fiends and flesh hookes whence there 's no returning He rip'd the other breech and there he spide The pamper'd Prodigall on cockhorse ride There was his fare his fidlers and his whores His being poore and beaten out of doores His keeping hogs his eating huskes for meat His lamentation and his home retreat His welcome to his father and the feast The farcalfe kill'd all these things were exprest These transformations fild the man with feare That he hell-fire within his breech * This fellowes breeches were not lyn'd with Apocrypba I heard of one that had picture of the Deuill in the backe linings of his Dublet witnesse at the Swan in St. Martins should beare He mus'd what strange inchantments he had bin in That turn'd his linings into painted linnen His feare was great but at the last to rid it A Wizard told him 't was the Tayler did it One told me of a * This miller â—lept a windmill not many yeeres since at Purâ—â—et in Essex miller that had power Sometimes to steale fiue bushels out of foure As once a windmill out of breath lack'd winde A fellow brought foure bushels there to grinde And hearing neither noyse of knap or tiller Laid downe his corne and went to seeke the miller Some two flight-shoot to th'Alchouse he did wag And left his sacke in keeping with his Nag The miller came a by-way vp the hill And saw the sacke of corne stand at the mill Perceiuing none that could his thest gaine-say For toll tooke bagge and grift and all away And a crosse-way vnto the Alchouse hy'd him Whereas the man that sought him quickly spide him Kind miller quoth the man I left but now A sacke of wheat and I intreat that thou Wilt walke vp to the mill where it doth lye And grinde it for me now the winde blowes hye So vp the hill they went and quickly found The bagge and corne stolne from the ground vngroun'd The poore man with his losse was full of griefe He and the miller went to seeke the Thiefe Or else the corne at last all tyr'd and sad Seeking both what he had not and he had The miller to appease or ease his paine Sold him one bushell * Some say that he sold him the foure bushels againe and then stole one bushell for â—ll of his owne againe Thus out of foure the man fiue bushels lost Accounting truely all his corne and cost To mend all of this Thieuing millers brood One halfe houres hauging would be very good But there 's a kind of steaking mysticall Pick-pocket wits filch lines Sophisticall Villaines in verse base runagates in rime False rob-wits and contemned slaues of time Purloyning Thieues that pilser from desart The due of study and reward of art Pot Poets that haue skill to steale translations And into English filch strange tongues and Nations And change the language of good wits vnknowne These Thieuish Rascals print them for their owne Mistake me not good Reader any wayes Translators doe deserue respect and praise For were it not for them we could not haue A Bible that declares our soules to saue And many thousands worthy workes would lye Not vnderstood or in obscurity If they by learned mens intelligence Were not translated with great diligence I honour such and he that doth not so May his soule sinke to euerlasting woe I speake of such as steale regard and fame Who doe translate and hide the Authors name Or such as are so barren of inuention That cannot write a line worth note or mention Yet vpon those that can will belch their spite And with malicious tongues their names backbite To this effect I oft haue wrote before And am inforced now this one time more To take my pen againe into my fist And answer a deprauing Emblemist I spare to name him but I tell him plaine If e'r he dare abuse me so againe I 'll whip him with a yerking Satyres lash Fang'd like th' inuectiue muse of famous Nash That he shall wish he had not beene or beene Hang'd e'r he mou'd my iust incensed spleene He hath reported most maliciously In sundry places amongst company That I doe neither write nor yet inuent The things that in my name doe passe in print But that some Scholler spends his time and braine And lets me haue the glory and the gaine Is any Poet in that low degree To make his muse worke iourney-worke to me Or are my lines with eloquence imbellish'd As any learning in them may be relish'd Those that thinke so they either iudge in haste Or else their iudgements pallat's out of taste My pen in Helicon I ne'r did dip And all my Schollership is Schullership I am an English-man and haue the scope To write in mine owne Countries speech I hope For Homer was a Grecian and I note That all his workes in the Greeke tongue he wrote Virgill and Ouid neither did contemne To vse that speech their mothers taught to them Du Bartas Petrarcke Tassa all their muses Did vse the language that their country vses And though I know but English I suppose I haue as many tongues as some of those Their studies were much better yet I say I vse my countries speech and so did they Because my name is Taylor some doe doubt My best inuention comes by stealing out From other Writers workes but I reply And giue their doubtfull diffidence the lye To cloze this point I must be very briefe And call them Knaues that call me Poet Thiefe But yet a Poets theft I must not smother For they doe often steale from one another They call it borrowing but I thinke it true To tear me it stealing were a style more due There is a speech that Poets still are poore But ne'r till now I knew the cause wherefore Which is when their inuentions are at best Then they are daily rob'd 't is manifest For noble Thieues and poore Thieues all conioyne From painfull Writers studies to purloyne And steale their flashes and their sparks of wit Still vtt'ring them at all occasions fit As if they were their owne and these men are For their stolne stuffe esteemed wife and rare They call it borrowing but I tell them plaine 'T is stealing for they neuer pay againe The vse of money's eight i' th' hundred still And men in Bonds bound as the owner will But wit and Poetry more worth then treasure Is from the owners borrowed at mens pleasure And to the Poets lot it still doth fall To lose both interest and principall This is the canse that Poets are poore men Th' are rob'd and lend and
A Tale to cast me to ten thousand Hels The Iury are my Thoughts vpright in this They sentence me to death for doing amisse Examinations more there need not then Than what 's confest here both to God and Men. The Cryer of she Court is my blacke Shame Which when it calls my Iury doth proclaime Vnlesse as they are summon'd they appeare To giue true Verdict of the Prisoner They shall haue heauy Fines vpon them set Such as may make them dye deepe in Heauens debt About me round sit Innocence and Truth As Clerkes to this high Court and little Ruth From Peoples eyes is cast vpon my face Because my facts are barbarous damn'd and base The Officers that 'bout me thicke are plac'd To guard me to my death when I am cast Are the blacke stings my speckled soule now feeles Which like to Furies dogge me close at heeles The Hangman that attends me is Despaire And gâ—owing wormes my fellow-Prisoners are His Inditement for murder of his Children THe first who at this Sessions â—â—â— doth call me Is Murder whose grim visage doth appall me His eyes are fires his voice rough winds out-rores And on my bead the Diuine vengeance scares So fast and fearefully I sinke to ground And with â— were in twenty Oceans drownd He sayes I haue a bloudy Villaine bin And to proue this ripe Euidence steps in Brew'd like my selfe Iustice so brings about That blacke sinnes still hunt one another out 'T is like a rotten frame ready to fall For one maine Post being shaken puls downe all To this Inditement holding vp my hand Fattered with Terrors more then Irons stand And being ask'd what to the Bill I say Guilty I cry O dreadfull Sessions dayâ— His Iudgement FOr these thick Stigian streams in which th' ast â—â—â— Thy guilt hath on thee laâ—d this bitter doome Thy loath'd life on a Tree of shame must take A leaue compeld by Law e'r old age make Her signed Passe port ready Thy offence No longer can for dayes on earth dispense Time blot thy name out of this bloudy roule And so the Lord haue mercy on my Soule His speech what hee could say for himselfe O Wretched Caitiffe what perswasiue breath Can cal back this iust Sentence of quick death I begge no beene but mercy at Gods hands The King of Kings the Soueraigne that coÌ„maâ—â— Both Soule and Body O let him forgiue My Treason to his Throne and whilst I liue Iebbits and Racks shall torture limme by limme Through worlds of Deaths I 'l breake to fly to him My Birth-day gaue not to my Mothers wombe More ease then this shall ioyes when e'r it come My body mould to earth sinnes sink to Hell My penitent Soule win Heauen vain world farewell FINIS TAYLORS REVENGE OR The Rimer VVILLIAM FENNOR firkt ferrited and finely fetcht ouer the Coales To any that can read BE thou either Friend or Foe or indifferent all 's one Read Laugh like or dislike all the care is taken The chiefest cause why I wrote this was on set purpose to please myselfe Yet to shew thee the meaning of this little building imagine the Epistle to be the doore and if thou please come in and see what stuffe the whâ—â—â— Frame is made off Bee it therefore knownne vnto all men that I Iohn Taylor Watermanâ— â—â—â—agree with William Fennor who arrogantly and falsely entitles himselfe the Kings Masâ— â—â—â—Riming Poet to answer me at a triall of Wit on the seuenth of October last 1614 â—â—â— the Hope stage on the Bank-side and the said Fennor receiued of mee ten shillings in â—â—â— of his comming to meet me whereupon I caused 1000 bills to be Printed and diuulg'd â—â—â—1000 wayes and more giuing my Friends and diuers of my acquaintance notice of â—â—â— Bear-garden banquet of dainty Conceits and when the day came that the Play should â—â—â—haue beene performed the house being fill'd with a great Audience who had all spent their moâ—â—â— extraordinarily then this Companion for an Asse ran away and left mee for a Foole amongst thousands of criticall Censurers where I was ill thought of by my friends scorned by â—â—â— and in conclusion in a greater puzzell then the blinde Beare in the midst of all her â—â—â—broth Besides the summe of twenty pounds in money I lost my Reputation amongst â—â—â— and gaind disgrace in stead of my better expectations In Reuenge of which wrongs done â—â—â— me by the said Riming Rascall I haue written this Inuectiue against him chiefly because ill-looking Hound doth not confesse he hath intur'd mee nor hath not so much honestly â—â—â— bring or send me my money that he tooke for earnest of me but on the contrary parts â—â—â— and abuses mee with his calumnious tongue and scandalizeth me in all Companies â—â—â— beares me nominated But in a word Reader when thou hast read this that followes I thinke thou wilt iudge me cleare of the many false Imputations that are laid vpon mee So I â—â—â—thee to thy Considerations and I proceed to my Exclamations Thine as thou art mine IOHN TAYLOR WILLIAM FENNOR Anagramma NV VILLANY For me OR Forme NV VILLANY NV VILLANY Forme Nue fresh and New Or Forme NV VILLANY Come Turk come Iew â—â—â— who dares come for I haue found a Theame That ouerflowes with matter like a streame And now stand cleere my masters ' ware your shins For now to kick and fling my Muse begins How fit his name is Anagrammatiz'd And how his Name is Anatomiz'd 'T would make a horse with laughing breake his bridle But to the purpose long delayes are idle TO WILLIAM FENNOR COME Sirrha Rascall off your clothes S r strip For my Satyrrick whip shall make you skip Th'adst better to haue dealt with all the Deuils They could not plague thee with so many euils Nay come man neuer whine or crooch or kneele My heart cannot one lot of pitty feele I haue squeez'd the Gall from out the Lernean snake With which Reuengefull Inke I meane to make Which I with Aqua-fortis will commix Yblended with the lothsome Lake of Stix And with that Marrow-eating hatefull Inke I 'll make thee more then any Aiax stinke A Scritch-owles quill shall be my fatall pen That shall emblaze thee basest slaue of men So that when as the pur-blind world shall see How vildly thou hast plaid the Rogue with mee They shall perceiue I wrong them not for pelse And thou shalt like a Rascall hang thy selfe What damned Villaine would forsweare sweare At thou didst 'gainst my challenge to appeare To answer me at Hope vpon the stage And thereupon my word I did ingage And to the world did publish printed Bills With promise that we both would shew our skills And then your Rogue-ship durst not shew your face But ran away and left me in disgrace To thee ten shillings I for earnest gane To bind thee that thou shouldst not play the Knaue Curre hadst thou no mans Credit to betray But mine or couldst thou find no other way
IT was at that time that the worlds terrour and warres Thunder-bolt Allaricke King of the Gothes wasted Italy sacked Rome and stooke all the Kingdomes of the earth into a Feuertertian when there was inhabiting in the Dukedome of Tuscanye a valiant Captaine named Catso descended from the Royall house of Frigus the first King of the Fridgians This Catso being driuen to his shifts in these robustuous bickerings of the Gothes fled for safety to the I le of Sardinia where for his good parts and free behauiour hee was entertained by the most beautifull Madam Meretricia the delightfull daughter and sole heire of Baloclitus King of Sardis yet although his place was chiefe Gentleman of the Bid-Chamber his high pitcht resolution was eleuated and erected for trauell and hotter seruices So with much griefe to the Lady hee tooke his leaue and sayling through the straits of Gibralter and the gulphe of Madye Lane hee past the Cape Bona Esperance as farre as China where hee staid certaine daies at Iappan then hee determined to progresse it by land and passing by the great Citty of Tarsus in Idumea by long iourneys hee came to Gallicia where nere to Greyne hee was in hot seruice and came off somewhat scortch'd with fire workes in a mine passing from thence hee came into France where hee was well wel-com'd at Brest and at the Towne of Deipe was made great prouision for his comming but for some reasons hee would neuer come there In briefe after hee had approu'd himselfe a hot valiant and aduenturous Souldier abroad and a peace-maker aâ—â—â— home hee came into Ireland where at Dubblâ— hee was strucke lame but recouering neâ— strength and courage hee snip'd himselfe foâ— England landed at West-Chester whence taking pofte towards London hee lodg'd at â—â—â— ley in the hole in his way at last being come to the Citty hee made many merry and mad vageries betwixt Turnebull-street and Burnt-wood spending freely and faring deliciously hauing a stiffe stomacke to digest all dishes except Winchester Geese and Newmarket Turkies â—â—â— thus with much danger and difficulty hauing trauelled farther then euer man saw and passed his time with much loue amongst Ladyes and Gentlewomen hauing beene a great with stander of many desperate oppositions and â—â—â— rare Musitian for his long practice in Prickesong He againe past the Sea in a Frigget to Constantinople where hee fell into a moody melancholy like Tymon of Athens and scorned to stand at any time although he was charged in the name of the Graund Signior This Gallant hauing beene all his time a great vser wearer and taker vp of Napery did most bountifully bequeath to any Poet that would write a Poeme in the praise of Cleane Linnen as many shirts of the purest Holland as might bee wash'd in Hellicon and dryed on the two topt hill of Parnassus To performe whose commaund and receiue the bequeathed Legacie I vndertooke this great taske and perform'd it accordingly FINIS THE TRVE CAVSE OF THE WATERMENS Suit concerning Players and the reasons that their Playing on London side is their extreame hindrances With a Relation how farre that suit was proceeded in and the occasions that it was not effected THe occasions that hath moued me to write this Pamphlet are many and forcible and the Attempt in wriring it aduenturous and full of danger for as on the one side I doubt not but with truth to stop the mouthes of Ignorance and Mallice that haue and doe daily scandalize mee and withall I know I shall purchase a generall thankes from all honest men of my Company so I am assured to gaine the hatred of some that loue mee well and I affect them no worse only for my plaine truth and discharging my conscience But fall back fall edge come what can come I am resolued and without feare or flattery thus I beginne In the month of Ianuary last 1613. there was a motion made by some of the better sort of the company of Watermen that it were necessary for the reliefe of such a decayed multitude to petition to his Maiesty that the Players might not haue a play-house in London or in Middlesex within foure miles of the City on that side of the Thames Now this request may seeme harsh and not well to bee disgested by the Players and their Apendixes But the reasons that mou'd vs vnto it being claritably considered makes the suite not only seeme reasonable but past seeming most necessary to be sued for and tollerable to bee granted Out petition being written to purpose aforesaid I was selected by my company to deliuer it to his Maiesty and follow the businesse which I did with that care and integrity that I am assured none can iustly taxe me with the contrary I did ride twice to Theobalds once to Newmarket and twice to Roystone before I could get a reference vpon my petition I had to beare my charge of my company first and last seuen pound two shillings which horshire horse meat and mans meat brought to a consumption besides I wrote seuerall petitions to most of the Right Honourable Lords of his Maiesties Priuy Counsell and I found them all compassionately affected to the necessity of our cause First I did briefly declare part of the seruices that Watermen had done in Queene Elizabeths raigne of famous memory in the voyage to Portingale with the Right Honorable and neuer to be forgotten Earle of Essex then after that how it pleased God in that great deliuerance in the yeere 1588. to make Watermen good seruiceable instruments with their losse of liues and limbs to defend their Prince and Country Moreouer many of them serued with Sir Francis Drake Sir Iohn Hawkins Sir Martin Frobusher and others besides in Cales action the Iland voyage in Ireland in the Lowcuntryes and in the narrow Seas they haue beene as in duty they are bound at continuall command so that euery Summer 1500. or 2000. of them were imployed to the places asoresaid hauing but nine shillings foure pence the month a peece for their pay and yet were they abâ—e then to set themselues out like men with shift of Apparell linnen and wollen and forbeare charging of their Prince for their pay sometimes sixe months nine months twelue months sometimes more for then there were so few Watermen and the one halfe of them being at Sea those that staid at home had as much worke as they would doe Afterwards the Players began to play on the Bank-side and to leaue playing in London and Middlesex for the most part then there went such great concourse of people by water that the smal number of watermen remaining at home were not able to carry them by reason of the Court the Tearmes the Players and other imployments so that we were inforced and encouraged hoping that this golden stirring world would haue lasted euer to take and entertaine men and boyes which boyes are growne men and keepers of houses many of them being ouer-charged with families of Wife and
of Maiâ—â—â— and Nobility as we doe I write not to disparrage any nor with boasting to puffe vp our selues none comes neerer except the Barber and long and often may he come or the Physicion and Chirurgion which God grant they may bee euer needlesse but a Water-man many times hath his Soueraigne by the hand to stay him in and out the Barge where there is not aboue halfe an inch betwixt life death the Barge being then the royal Court being but a dore betwixt the King them they are at that time Gentlemen of the priuy Chamber or Yeomen of the Gard at least And thus much I am bold to insert for my selfe and many more of my company that I know that we neuer exacted mony wrongfully or contended with any of the Kings Leidge people for more then they themselues would giue with any reason or gaue any one abusiue or vnreuerend speeches if they would not go with vs for we know that men are free to buy their cloath at what Drapers they please or their stuffes at which Mercers they will what Taylor they list make their garments and what Cooke they lâ—ke may dresse their meat and so forth of all fâ—â—â—â—ions euery man is free to make his choyâ—e and so amongst Watermen men may take whom they please because they are sâ—ound to none he that goes with me shall haue my labor and I am in hope to haue his moneyâ— he that will not goâ— with me goes with another and I haue the more ease the while he doth me no wrong in not going with me I will do â—â—â—â— iniury for going from â—â—â— this is my resolution and a number more of my Company and those that are otherwise minded â—â—â— all my heart that God will be pleased to â—â—â— them or else that the Hangman may haue authority to end them But to returne to the purpose from which I haue too long digrest The Players are men that I generally loue and wish well vnto and to their quality and I doe not know any of them but are my friends and wish as much to me and howsoeuer the matter falls out whether they play or not play I thanke God I am able to liue as well as another either with them or without them But my loue is such vnto them that whereas they do play but once a day I could bee content they should play twice or thrice a day so it were not in such places as doth vndoe so many thousands of poore people for as it is it were much better for vs that they plaid no where And seeing so triuiall a cause as this would be scarâ—e incommodious to any and more commodious to vs then the foure Tearmes in the yeere seeing our necessities so great and our reliefe harmelesse to any seeing the vse of vs expedient if occasions serue abroad or at home and our vnablenesse to set our selues to sea by reason of ouâ— want our hope is that wee shall bee as much â—eckoned of as horses for horses haue meat drink and lodging though they be but seldome ridden and many of them haue a warme footcloth when thousand of seruiceable men are like to famish and starâ—â— through want and nakednesse As concerning our endeauours to â—â—moue the shelues and sands in the Thames whicâ— are a great â—â—noyance to the Riuer and huâ—â—â— full to the City As his Maiesty hath comâ—manded and the Right Honourable the Loâ—â— Maior the rest of his worshipfull brethreâ— shall direct we shall with all willingnesse doâ— our duties we doubt not both to the King Maiesties contentment the good of the City and the good report of our selues Thus becuase the truth shewes best being naked I haue plainely set downe how farre proceeded in my suite how it was broken ofâ— what thankes I haue for my paines The necessity of the cause that made mee goe abouâ—â—â—â— it The abuses I had because it tooke no effect which is the chiefe cause why I wrote thiâ— Pamphlet to iustifie my selfe At these thing I hope the Iudicious Vnderstander will iudge accordingly alwaies esteeming mee a Loyal ouer of my Countrey and my Company FINIS Wit and Mirth CHARGEABLY COLLECTED OVT OF TAVERNS ORDINARIES Innes Bowling Greenes and Allyes Alehouses Tobacco Shops Highwayes and Water passages Made vpâ— and â—â—â—â—â— Clinohes â—ulls Quirkes Yerkes â—…garbled at the requâ—â— of old â—â—â—n GAâ—â—â—â— Ghâ—â— DEDICATED To the truely Loyall harted learned well-accomplished Gentleman Mâ—â—ter â—â—â— SIR BEing enioyned by the Ghost or â—â—â— beloued to collect gleant or gather a bundle or trusse of Mirth and for his â—â—â— bestrow the stage of the melancholly world with it and withall to present it to somâ— â—â— generous spirit who was old Iohns friend I thought upon many to whom I might haue â—â—â— my Dedication who were both Royall Honourable Worshipfull and all well-affected toâ—â—rds him As to mention one for all that Iewell of the world and richest Iem of her sex that Magazine of the two inestimable Iewels Patience and Fortitude to that illustrious â—â—relesse Princesse I might haue recommended it to whose seruice and for whose happinesse his life and best endeauours with his prayers and implorations at his death were vnfainealy â—â—â—â—rated But my manners conceiuing the subiect of this Booke of altogether to triuiall a â—â—â— to be sheltred vnder the shadow of the wings of transcendent and admired Maiestie â—â—â— so many steps downe the staires with my inuention where by good fortune I met with â—â—â— whom I knew did loue that old honest mirrour of mirth deceased and whom the world â—â—â—ter knows are a true deunted friend to honest harmelesse mirth and laudable recreation â—â—â—herefore entreat you that when your more serious affaires will permit you would beâ—â—â—â—â— the looking vpon these my poore and beggarly wardrobe of witty Iests whom I dare not â—â—â— Apothegmes And because I had many of them by relation and heare-say I am in doubt that some of them â—â—â— be in print in some other Authors which I doe assure you is more then I doe know which â—â—â—â— be so I pray you but to conniue or tollerate and let the Authors make twice as bold with â—â— at any time Thus wishing euery one to mend one whereby the rent and torne garments of Thred-bare â—â—â— may be well and merrily patched and repaired crauing your pardon with my best wishes â—â—â—aine Yours euer in the best of my best studies hereof IOHN TAYLOR IOHN GARRETS GHOST â—He doores and windowes of the Heauens were barr'd And Nights blacke Curtaine like an Eâ—on Robe From Earth did all Celestiall light discard And in sad darknesse clad the ample Globe Dead midnight came the Cats ' gan catterwaule The time when Ghosts and Goblings walke about â—â—â— Owles shrick dismall Dogs doe bawle Whileâ— conscience cleare securely sleeps it out At such a time I sleeping in my bed A â—â—â—â— strange appear'd vnto my â—ight â—â—â—zement all my senses ouer spread And fill'd me full with terrour and
Fisting hound all these are for pleasure by which wee may perceiue that Man is allowed lawfull and honest recreation or else these Dogges had neuer bin made for such vses But many pretty ridiculous aspersions are cast vpon Dogges so that it would make a Dogge laugh to heare and vnderstand them As I haue heard a Man say I am as hot as a Dogge or as cold as a Dogge I sweat like a Dogge when indeed a Dog neuer sweates as drunke as a Dogge hee swore like a Dogge and one told a Man once That his Wife was not to be beleeu'd for shee would lye like a Dogge marry quoth the other I would giue twelue pence to see that trick for I haue seene a Dogge to lye with his Nose in his Tayle FINIS The VVorld runnes on wheeles OR Oddes betwixt Carts and Coaches The meaning of the Embleme THe Diuell the Flesh the World doth Man oppose And are his mighty and his mortall foes The Diuell and the whorish Flesh drawes still The World on wheeles runnes after with good will For that which we the World may iustly call I meane the lower Globe Terrestriall Is as the Diuell and a Whore doth please Drawne here and there and euerie where with ease Those that their Liues to vertue here doe frame Are in the World but yet not of the same Some such there are whom neither Flesh or Diuell Can wilfully drawe on to any euill But for the World as 't is the World you see Itâ—â—â— on wheeles and who the Palfreys be Which Embleme to the Reader doth display The Diuell and Flesh runne swift away The Chain'd ensnared World doth follow fast Till All into Perditions pit be cast The Picture topsie-turuie stands hâ—wwaw The World turn'd vpside downe as all men know TO The Noble Company of Cordwainers the worshipfull Company of Sadlers and Woodmongers To the worthy honest and laudable Company of Watermen And to the Sacred Societie of Hackney-men And finally to as many as are grieued and vniustly impouerished and molested with the Worlds running on Wheeles GEntlemen and Yeomen maruell not that I write this Pamphlet in Prose now hauing beforetimes set forth so many Bookes in Verse The first reason that moued me to write thus was because I was Lame and durst not write Verses for seare they should be infected with my Griefe and be lame too The Second Reason is because that I finde no good rime for a Coach but Broach Roach Encroach or such like And you know that the Coach hath ouer-throwne the good vse of the Broach and Broach-turner turning the one to Rackes and the other to Iackes quite through the Kingdome The Roach is a dry bish much like the vnprofitable profit of a Coach it will cost more the dressing and appurtenances then t is worth For the word Encroach I thinke that best befits it for I think neuer such an impudent proud saâ—cie Intruder or Encroacher came into the world as a Coach is for it hath driuen many honest Families out of their Houses many Knights to Beggers Corporations to pouerty Almesdâ—sdâ—s â—â—â— to all misdeedes Hospitality to extortion Plenty to famine Humility to pride Compassion to oppression and all Earthly goodnes almost to an vtter confusion These haue beene the causes why I writ this Booke in Prose and Dedicated it to all your good Companies knowing that you haue borne a heauie share in the Calamitie which these hyred Hackney bell-Carts haue put this Common-wealth vnto For in all my whole Discourse I doe not enueigh against any Coaches that belong to persons of worth or qualitie but onely against the Carter piller swarme of hyrelings they haue vndone my poore Trade whereof I am in Member and though I look for no reformation yet I expect the benefit of an old prouerbe Giue the losers leaue to speake I haue imbroadered it with mirth Quilted it with materiall stuffe Lac'd it with similitudes Sowed it with comparisons and in a word so plaid the Taylor with it that I think it will fit the wearing of any honest mans Reading attention and liking But howsoeuer I leaue both it and my selfe to remaine Yours as you are mine Iohn Taylor The VVorld runnes on VVheeles WHat a Murraine what piece of worke haue we here The World runs a wheeles On my Conscience my Dungcart will be most vnsauorly offended with it I haue heard the words often The World runs on Wheeles what like Pompeies Bridg at Ostend The great Gridyron in Christ-church The Landskips of China or the new found Instrument that goes by winding vp like a Iacke that a Gentleman entreated a Musitian to Rost him Seliengers Round vpon it Ha! how can you make this good Master Poet I haue heard that the World stands stock still and neuer stirres but at an Earth-quake and then it trembles at the wickednes of the Inhabitants and like an old Mother groanes vnder the misery of her vngracious Children well I will buy this volume of inuention for my Boyes to reade at home in an Euening when they come from Schoole there may be some goodnes in it I promise you truly I haue found in some of these Books very shrewd Items yea and by your leaue somewhat is found in them now and then which the wisest of vs all may be the better for though you call them Pamphlets to tell you true I like em better that are plaine and merrily written to a good intent then those who are purposely stuffed and studyed to deceiue the world and vndo Country That tells vs of Proiects beyond the Moone of Golden Mines of Deuices to make the Thames run on the North side of London which may very easily be done by remouing London to the Banke-side of planting the I le of Dogs with Whiblins Corwhichets Mushromes and Tobacco Tut I like none of these Let mee see as I take it it is an inuectiue against Coaches or a proofe or tryall of the Antiquitie of Carts and Coaches T is so and Gods blessing light on his hart that wrote it for I thinke neuer since Pheton brake his necke neuer Land hath endured more trouble and molestation then this hath by the continuall rumbling of these vpstart 4. wheel'd Toâ—toyses as you may perhaps find anone For as concerning the Antiquity of the Cart I thinke it beyond the limmits of Record or writing Besides it hath a Reference or allusion to the Motion of the Heauens which turnes vpon the Equinoctiall Axeltree the two wheeles being the Articke and Antarticke Poles Moreouer though it be poetically feined that the Sunne whom I could haue called Phoebus Tytan Apollo Sok or Hiperion is drawn by his foure hoâ— and headstrong Horses whose names as I take it are AEolus AEthon Phlegon and Pyrois Yet doe I not finde that Triumphant Refulgent extinguisher of darknes is Coach'd but that hee is continully carted through the twelue signes of the Zodiaque And of Copernicus his opinion were to bee allowed that the Firmament with the
m Aâ—gury is a kind of Soothsaying by the slight of Birds Augury can sâ—e Diuorc'd and parted euer are we Three Old Nabaoth my case much is farre worse then thine Thou but the Vineyard lost I lost the Wine Two witnesses for bribes the false accus'd Perhaps some prating Knaues haue me abus'd Yet thy wrong's more then mine the reason why For thou wast n Naboath was stened to death so am not I. ston'd to Death so am not I. But as the Dogs did eate the flesh and gore Of Iezabell that Royall painted Whore So may the Gallowes eate some friends of mine That first striu'd to remoue me from the Wine This may by some misfortune be their lot Although that any way I wish it not But farewell bottles neuer to returne Weepe you in Sacke whilst I in Alâ— will mourne Yet though you haue no reason wit or sence I 'le sencelesse caide you for your vile offence That from your foster Father me would slide So dwell with Ignorance a blind sold guide For who in Britaine knew but o My Boules doe deserue a little reproose I to vse you And who but I knew how for to abuse you My speech to you no action sure can beare From Scandala magratum I am cleare When Vpland Tradesmen thus dares take in hand A watry businesse they not vnderstand It did presage things would turne topsie turny And the conclusion of it would be scuruie But leauing him vnto the course of Fate Bottles let you and I a while debate Call your extrauagaâ—t wild humours home And thinke but whom you are departed from I that for your sakes haue giuen stabs and stripes To glue you sucke from Hogsheads and from Pipes I that with pâ—ines and care you long haue nurst Oft fill'd you with the best and left the worst And to maintaine you full would often peirce The best of Batts a Puncheon or a Teirce Whil'st Pipes and Sack buts were the Instruments That I playdon to fill your full contents With Bastart Sack with Allegant and Rhenish Your hungry mawes I often did replenish With Malmesie Muskadell and Corcica With White Red Claret and Liatica With Hollocke Sherant Mallig Canara I stufe your sides vp with a surserara That though the world was hard my care was still To search and labour you might haue your fill That when my Master did or sup or dine He had his choyce of p This was a credit â—â— the Kings Castle and to the Lieutenant thereof fifteene sorts of Wine And as good wines they were I dare be bold As any Seller in this Land did hold Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring Besitting for the Castle of a King This Royastie my labour did maintaine When I had meat and wages for my paine Ingratefull Bettles take it not amisse That I of your vnkindnesse tell you this Sure if you could speake you could say in briefe Your greatest want was still my greatest griefe Did I not often in my bosome hugge you And in mine armes would like a Father hugge you Haue I not run through Tempests Gusts and Stormes And me with danger in strange various former All times and tydes with and against the streame Your welfare euer was my labours sheame Sleet Raine Haile Winde or Winters frosty chaps Ioues Lightning or his dreadfull Thunderclaps When all the Elements in one consoire Sad earth sharpe ayre rough water flashing fire Haue warr'd on one another as if all This world of nothing would to nothing fall When showring Haile-shot from the storming heau'n Nor blustering Gusts by AEols belching driuen Could hold me backe then oft I searcht and sought And found and vnto you the purchase brought All weathers faire foule Sunshine wet and dry I trauail'd still your paunches to supply Oft haue I fought and swagger'd in your Right And fill'd you still by eyther sleighâ—t or might And in th' Exchequer I stood for your Cause Else had you beene confounded by the Lawes I did produce such q I found and brought 30 wâ—nesses that know and tooke their â—â—â—hes of the quantity of the Bottles for 50 yeares witnesses which crost The Merchants sute else you had quite beene lost And but for me apparantly 't is knowne You had beene Kicksie winsie ouer throwne And for my Seruice and my much paines taken I am cashier'd abandon'd and forsaken I knew it well and said and swore it too That he that bought you would himselfe vndoe And I was promist that when he gaue o're That I should fill you as I did before For which foure yeares with patience I did stay Expecting he would breake or run away Which though it be falne out as I expected Yet neuerthelesse my Seruice is rejected Let men judge if I haue not cause to write Against my Fortune and the worlds despight That in my prime of strengh so long a r 14. yeares space I toyl'd and drudg'd in such a gainelesse place Whereas the best part of my life I spent And to my power gaue euery man content In all which time which I did then remaine I gaue no man occasion to complaine For vnto all that know me I appeale To speake if well or ill I vs'd to deale Or if there be the least abuse in me For which I thus from you should sundred bee For though my profit by you was but small Yet sure my Gaine was Loue in generall And that I doe not lye nor speake amisse I can bring hundreds that can witnesse this Yet for all this I euer am put off And made a scorne a By-word and a scoffe It must some villaines information be That hath maliciously abused me But if I knew the misinformingelfe I would write lines should make him hang himselfe Be he a great man that doth vse me ill That makes his will his Law and Law his will I hold a poore man may that great man tell How that in doing ill he doth not well But Bottles blacke once more haue at your breech For vnto you I onely bend my speech Full foureteene times had Sols illustrious Rayes Ran through the Zodiacke when I spent my dayes To conserue reserue prestrue and deserue Your loues wheÌ„ you with wants were like to starue A Groce of Moones and twice 12. months besides I haue attended you all time and tides â—â— I gain'd Twelue penez by you all that time May I to Tyburne for promotion Climbe For though the blinde world vnderstand it not I know there 's nothing by you can be got Except a drunken pate a scuruy word And now and then be tumbled ouer boord And though these mischiefes I haue kept me fro No other Bottleman could e're doe so 'T is knowne you haue beene stab'd throwne in the Thames And he that fild you beaten with exclaimes Marchants who haue much abused bin Which Exigents I neuer brought you in But I with peace and quietn â—â—â— got more Then any brabling o're could doe before