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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A57009	The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others.	Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Urquhart, Thomas, Sir, 1611-1660.	1694 (1694)	Wing R104; ESTC R29255	455,145	1,095

with the Dormouse whose Hawks Bells were made with a puntinaria after the manner of Hungary or Flanders Lace and which his Brother-in-Law carried in a Panier lying near to three Chevrons or bordered Gueules whilst he was clean out of heart drooping and crest-fallen by the too narrow sifting canvassing and curious examining of the Matter in the angulary Dog-hole of nasty Scoundrels from whence we shoot at the vermiformal Popingay with the Flap made of a Fox-tail But in that he chargeth the Defendant that he was a Botcher Cheese-eater and Trimmer of Man's Flesh imbalmed which in the arsiversy swagfal tumble was not found true as by the Defendant was very well discussed The Court therefore doth condemn and amerce him in three Poringers of Curds well cemented and closed together shining like Pearls and cod-pieced after the Fashion of the Country to be payed unto the said Defendant about the middle of August in May but on the other part the Defendant shall be bound to furnish him with Hay and Stubble for stopping the Caltrops of his Throat troubled and impulregafized with Gabardines garbeled shufflingly and Friends as before without Costs and for cause Which Sentence being pronounced the two Parties departed both contented with the Decree which was a thing almost incredible for it never came to pass since the great Rain nor shall the like occur in thirteen Jubilees hereafter that two Parties contradictorily contending in Judgment be equally satisfied and well pleased with the definitive Sentence As for the Counsellors and other Doctors in the Law that were there present they were all so ravivished with Admiration at the more than Humane Wisdom of Pantagruel which they did most clearly perceive to be in him by his so accurate Decision of this so difficult and thorny Cause that their Spirits with the Extremity of the Rapture being elevated above the pitch of actuating the Organs of the Body they fell into a Trance and sudden Extasy wherein they stayed for the space of three long Hours and had been so as yet in that Condition had not some good People fetched store of Vineger and Rose-water to bring them again unto their former Sense and Understanding For the which God be praised every where And so be it CHAP. XIV How Panurge related the manner how he escaped out of the Hands of the Turks THe great Wit and Judgment of Pantagruel was immediately after this made known unto all the World by setting forth his Praises in Print and putting upon Record this late wonderful Proof he hath given thereof amongst the Rolls of the Crown and Registers of the Palace in such sort that every Body began to say that Solomon who by a probable Guess only without any further certainty caused the Child to be delivered to its own Mother shewed never in his time such a Master-piece of Wisdom as the good Pantagruel had done happy are we therefore that have him in our Country And indeed they would have made him thereupon Master of the Requests and President in the Court but he refused all very graciously thanking them for their Offer for said he there is too much Slavery in these Offices and very hardly can they be saved that do exercise them considering the great Corruption that is amongst Men. Which makes me believe if the empty Seats of Angels be not fill'd with other kind of People than those we shall not have the final Judgment these seven thousand sixty and seven Jubilees yet to come and so Cusanus will be deceived in his Conjecture Remember that I have told you of it and given you fair Advertisement in time and place convenient But if you have any Hogsheads of good Wine I willingly will accept of a Present of that which they very heartily did do in sending him of the best that was in the City and he drank reasonably well But poor Panurge bibbed and bowsed of it most villainously for he was as dry as a Red herring as lean as a Rake and like a poor lank slender Cat walked gingerly as if he had trod upon Eggs so that by some one being admonished in the midst of his Draught of a large deep Bowl full of excellent Claret with these words Fair and softly Gossip you suck up as if you were mad I give thee to the Devil said he thou hast not found here thy little tipling Sippers of Paris that drink no more than the Chaffinch and never take in their Beak full of Liquor till they be bobbed on the Tails after the manner of the Sparrows O Companion if I could mount up as well as I can get down I had been long e're this above the Sphere of the Moon with Empedocles But I cannot tell what a Devil this means This Wine is so good and delicious that the more I drink thereof the more I am a-thirst I believe that the Shadow of my Master Pantagruel maketh Men a-thirsty as the Moon doth the Catarrs and Defluxions At which word the Company began to laugh Which Pantagruel perceiving said Panurge what is that which moves you to laugh so Sir said he I was telling them that these devilish Turks are very unhappy in that they never drink one drop of Wine and that though there were no other harm in all Mahomet's Alcoran yet for this one base Point of Abstinence from Wine which therein is commanded I would not submit my self unto their Law But now tell me said Pantagruel how you escaped out of their Hands By G Sir said Panurge I will not lie to you in one word The rascally Turks had broached me upon a Spit all larded like a Rabbet for I was so dry and meagre that otherwise of my Flesh they would have made but very bad Meat and in this manner began to rost me alive As they were thus roasting me I recommended my self unto the Divine Grace having in my Mind the good St. Lawrence and always hoped in God that he would deliver me out of this Torment which came to pass and that very strangely for as I did commit my self with all my Heart unto God crying Lord God help me Lord God save me Lord God take me out of this Pain and hellish Torture wherein these traiterous Dogs detain me for my Sincerity in the Maintenance of thy Law the Turn-spit fell asleep by the Divine Will or else by the Virtue of some good Mercury who cunningly brought Argus into a Sleep for all his hundred Eyes When I saw that he did no longer turn me in roasting I looked upon him and perceived that he was fast asleep then took I up in my Teeth a Fire-brand by the end where it was not burnt and cast it into the Lap of my Roaster and another did I throw as well as I could under a Field-bed that was placed near to the Chimney wherein was the Straw-bed of my Master Turn-spit presently the Fire took hold in the Straw and from the Straw to the Bed and from the Bed to

there it would howsoever have been evaporated besides that before that time it had never been seen nor heard that Roast-meat Smoak was sold upon the Streets of Paris The Cook hereto replied That he was not obliged nor any way bound to feed and nourish for nought a Porter whom he had never seen before with the Smoak of his Roast-meat and thereupon swore that if he would not forthwith content and satisfie him with present Payment for the Repast which he had thereby got that he would take his crooked Staves from off his Back which instead of having Loads thereafter laid upon them should serve for Fuel to his Kitchin Fires Whilst he was going about so to do and to have pulled them to him by one of the bottom Rungs which he had caught in his Hand the sturdy Porter got out of his Gripes drew forth the knotty Cudgel and stood to his own Defence The Altercation waxed hot in Words which moved the gaping Hoydons of the sottish Parisians to run from all parts thereabouts to see what the issue would be of that babling Strife and Contention In the interim of this Dispute to very good purpose Seiny Ihon the Fool and Citizen of Paris hapned to be there whom the Cook perceiving said to the Porter Wilt thou refer and submit unto the noble Seiny Ihon the Decision of the Difference and Controversie which is betwixt us Yes by the Blood of a Goose answered the Porter I am content Seiny Ihon the Fool finding that the Cook and Porter had compromised the Determination of their Variance and Debate to the Discretion of his Award and Arbitriment after that the Reasons on either side whereupon was grounded the mutual fierceness of their brawling Jar had been to the full displayed and laid open before him commanded the Porter to draw out of the Fab of his Belt a piece of Money if he had it Whereupon the Porter immediately without delay in Reverence to the Authority of such a Judicious Umpire put the tenth part of a Silver Phillip into his hand This little Phillip Seiny Ihon took then set it on his Left Shoulder to try by feeling if it was of a sufficient weight after that laying it on the palm of his hand he made it ring and tingle to understand by the Ear if it was of a good Alloy in the Metal whereof it was composed Thereafter he put it to the Ball or Apple of his Left Eye to explore by the sight if it was well stamped and marked all which being done in a profound Silence of the whole doltish People who were there Spectators of this Pageantry to the great Hope of the Cooks and Despair of the Porters Prevalency in the Suit that was in agitation he finally caused the Porter to make it sound several times upon the Stall of the Cooks Shop Then with a Presidential Majesty holding his Bable Scepter-like in his Hand muffling his Head with a Hood of Martern Skins each side whereof had the resemblance of an Apes Face sprucified up with Ears of pasted Paper and having about his Neck a bucked Ruff raised furrowed and ridged with Ponting Sticks of the shape and fashion of small Organ Pipes he first with all the force of his Lungs Coughed two or three times and then with an audible Voice pronounced this following Sentence The Court declareth that the Porter who ate his Bread at the Smoak of the roast hath civilly paid the Cook with the sound of his Money And the said Court Ordaineth that every one return to his own home and attend his proper business without Cost and Charges and for a Cause This Verdict Award and Arbitriment of the Parisian Fool did appear so equitable yea so admirable to the aforesaid Doctors that they very much doubted if the matter had been brought before the Sessions for Iustice of the said place or that the Judges of the Rota at Rome had been Umpires therein or yet that the Areopagites themselves had been the Deciders thereof if by any one part or all of them together it had been so judicially sententiated and awarded Therefore advise if you will be counselled by a Fool. CHAP. XXXVIII How Triboulet is set forth and blazed by Pantagruel and Panurge BY my Soul quoth Panurge that Overture pleaseth me exceedingly well I will therefore lay hold thereon and embrace it At the very motioning thereof my very Right Entral seemeth to be widened and enlarged which was but just now hard bound contracted and costive but as we have hitherto made choice of the purest and most refined Cream of Wisdom and Sapience for our Counsel so would I now have to preside and bear the prime Sway in our Consultation as were a Fool in the supream degree Triboulet quoth Pantagruel is compleatly foolish as I conceive Yes truly answered Panurge he is properly and totally a Fool a Pantagruel Panurge Fatal f. Jovial f. Natural f. Mercurial f. Celectial f. Lunatick f. Erratick f. Ducal f. Excentrick f. Common f. Aetherial and Junonian f. Lordly f.   Palatin f. Arctick f. Principal f. Heroick f. Pretorian f. Gemial f. Ellected f. Inconstant f. Courtly f. Earthly f. Primipilary f. Solacious and sporting f. Triumphant f.   Vulgar f. Jocund and wanton f. Domestick f.   Exemplary s. Pimpled f. Rare outlandish f. Freckled f. Satrapal f. Bell-tinging f. Civil f. Laughing and lecherous f. Popular f.   Familiar f. Nimming and filching f. Notable f.   Favourized f. Unpressed f. Latinized f. First broached f. Ordinary f. Augustal f. Transcendent f. Cesarine f. Rising f. Imperial f. Papal f. Royal f. Consistorian f. Patriarchal f. Conclavist f. Original f. Bullist f. Loyal f. Synodal f. Episcopal f. Doting and raving f. Doctoral f. Singular and surpassing f. Monachal f.   Fiscal f. Special and excelling f. Extravagant f.   Writhed f. Metaphysical f. Canonical f. Scatical f. Such another f. Predicamental and Catagorick f. Graduated f.   Commensal f. Predicable and enunciatory f. Primolicentiated f.   Trainbairing f. Decumane and Superlative f. Supererrogating f.   Collateral f. Dutiful and officious f. Haunch and side f.   Nestling ninny and youngling f. Optical and perspective f. Flitting giddy and unsteddy f. Algoristick f.   Algebraical f. Brancher novice and Cockney f. Cabalistical Massoretical f. Hagard cross and froward f. Talmudical f.   Algamalized f. Gentle mild and tractable f. Compendious f.   Abbreviated f. Mail-coated f. Hyperbolical f. Pilfring and purloining f. Anatomastical f.   Allegorical f. Tail-grown f. Tropological f. Gray-peckled f.   Pleonasmical f. Micher pincrust f. Capital f. Heteroclit f. Hair brained f. Summist f. Cordial f. Abbridging f. Intimate f. Morrish f. Hepatick f. Leaden-sealed f. Cushotten and swilling f. Mandatory f.   Compassionate f. Splenetick f. Titulary f. Windy f. Crooching showking ducking f. Ligitimate f.   Azymathal f. Grim stern harsh and wayward f. Almicautarized f.   Proportioned f. Well-hung timbred f. Chinnified f.   Swollen

ran to a Iudge who having heard the Information immediately sent to secure Rabelais the Dauphin having been Poysoned some time before so the Doctor with his Powder was seiz'd and being examined by the Iudge gave no answer to the Accusation safe that he told the young Merchant that he had never thought him fit to keep a Secret and only desired them to secure what was in the Papers and send him to the King for he had strange things to say to him Accordingly he is carefully sent to Paris and handsomly treated by the way on free Cost as are all the King 's Prisoners and being come to Paris was immediately brought before the King who knowing him asked him what he had done to be brought in that Condition and where he had left the Cardinal Du Bellay Vpon this the Judge made his Report shew'd the Bills with the Powder and the Informations which he had drawn Rabelais on his side told his Case took some of all the Powders before the King which being found to be only harmless Wood Ashes pleaded for Rabelais so effectually that the business ended in Mirth and the poor Iudge was only laugh'd at for his Pains Though this Story be Printed before many Editions of Rabelais somewhat otherwise than I here give it I would not any more be answerable for its Truth than for that of many more which Tradition ascribes to him When a Man has once been very famous for Iests and merry Adventures he is made to adopt all the Iests that want a Father and many times such as are unworthy of him For this Reason I will omit many Stories which some indeed relate of Rabelais but which few can assure or believe to be true Yet since the witty Sayings merry Triflings and the Accounts of the indifferent Actions of Great Men have found not only their Historians but their Readers from Tully's Puns to the false Witticisms insipid Drolling and empty insignificant Remarks that make up the greatest part of the Scaligeriana and some others of those unequal Collections of Weeds and Flowers whose Titles end in ana we may with greater Reason relate the Iests of Rabelais whose Life as well as his Writings have been thought a continual Iest and this would not s●em to be the Life of Rabelais did not some Comical Stories make a part of it Neither were his Iests sometimes less productive of Good than the deep Earnest of others Of which the Vniversity of Montpellier furnishes us with an Instance None being admitted to the Degree of Doctor of Physic there who has not first put on the Gown and Cap of Dr. Rabelais which are preserved in the Castle of Mo●ac in that City The Cause of this uncommon Veneration for the Memory of that Learned Man is said to be this Some Scholars having occasioned an extraordinary Disorder in that City Anthony Du Prat Cardinal Archbishop of Sens then Lord Chancellor of France upon Complaint made of it caused the Vniversity to be depriv'd of part of its Privileges Vpon this none was thought fitter to be sent to Paris to sollicit their Restitution than our Doctor who by his Wit Learning and Eloquence as also by the Friends which they had purchased him at Court seem'd made to obtain any thing When he came to Paris about it the Difficulty lay in gaining Audience of the Chancellor who was so incensed that he refused to hear any thing in Behalf of the Vniversity of Montpellier So Rabelais having vainly tried to be admitted at last put on his Red Gown and Doctor 's Cap and thus Accoutred came to the Chancellor's Palace on St. Austin's Key but the Porter and some other Servants mistook him for a Mad-man So Rabelais having in a peremptory Tone been ask'd there who he was let his impertinent Querist know that he was the Gentleman who usually had the Honour to flea He-Calves and that if he had a mind to be first flead he had best make haste and strip immediately Then being ask'd some other Questions he answer'd in Latin which the other understanding not one of the Chancellor's Officers that could speak that Tongue was brought who addressing himself to our Doctor in Latin was answered by him in Greek which the other understanding as little as the first did Latin a third was fetch'd who could speak Greek but he no sooner spoke in that Language to Rabelais but that he was answered in Hebrew and one who understood Hebrew being with much Difficulty procur'd Rabelais spoke to him in Syriac Thus having exhausted all the Learning of the Family the Chancellor who was told that there was a merry Fool at his Gate who had out-done every-one not only in Languages but in smartness of Repartees desired that he might be brought in 'T was a little before Dinner Then Rabelais shifting the Farcical Scene into one more serious addrest himself to the Chancellor with much Respect and having first made his Excuse for his forc'd Buffoonry in a most Eloquent and Learned Speech so effectually pleaded the Cause of his Vniversity that the Chancellor at once ravish'd and perswaded not only promised the Restitution of the Abolish'd Privileges but made the Doctor sit down at Table with him as a particular Mark of his Esteem Much about that time hearing with what Facility for the sake of a small Sum of Money the Faculty of Orange some say Orleans admitted Ignorant Pretenders as Doctors of Physic not only without examining but even without seeing them Rabelais sent the usual Fees and had one received Doctor there unseen by the Name of Doctor Johannes Caballus and let the wise Professors and the World know afterwards what a worthy Member they had admitted into their Body since that very Doctor was his Horse Jack or as some say his Mule For if there are various Lections there may well be also various Traditions of the same Passage Though I know that it as little becomes a Chast Historian to launch into large Digressions as to advance Things without good Authorities I cannot forbear mentioning something very particular concerning that very Numerical Doctor I mean Joannes Caballus And that I may not be thought to relate Stories without Authorities I will make bold to quote that of a Book written Stylo maximè Rabelaesano viz. Le Moyen de Parvenir I remember to have read the Story in a less Apocriphal Author but Time hath blotted his Name out of my Memory Rabelais being at Paris and more careful of himself than of his Mule had trusted it to the Care of a Printer's Men desiring them at least not to let it want Water But having perhaps forgot to make them drink they also easily though uncharitably forgot the Brute At three days end the Creature having drank as little Water as its Master a young unlucky Boy took a Fancy to get on its back even like the Miller's Daughter without a Saddle another Truand Scholar begg'd to get behind him so did a third and

and store of Spiceries to put the old Women in rut and heat of Lust. To be short they occupied all like good Souls only to those that were horribly ugly and ill-favoured I caused their Heads to be put within a Bag to hide their Face Besides all this I have lost a great deal in Suits of Law And what Law-Suits couldst thou have said I thou hast neither House nor Lands My Friend said he the Gentlewomen of this City had found out by the instigation of the Devil of Hell a manner of high-mounted Gorgets and Neckerchiefs for Women which did so closely cover their Bosoms that Men could no more put their Hands under for they had put the Slit behind and those Neckcloths were wholly shut before whereat the poor sad contemplative Lovers were much discontented Upon a fair Tuesday I presented a Petition to the Court making my self a Party against the said Gentlewomen and shewing the great Interest that I pretended therein protesting that by the same reason I would cause the Cod-piece of my Breeches to be sowed behind if the Court would not take order for it In sum the Gentlewomen put in their Defences shewed the Grounds they went upon and constituted their Attorney for the prosecuting of the Cause but I pursued them so vigorously that by a Sentence of the Court it was decreed those high Neckcloths should be no longer worn if they were not a little cleft and open before but it cost me a good Sum of Money I had another very filthy and beastly Process against Master Fohfoh and his Deputies that they should no more read privily the Pipe Punehon nor quart of Sentences but in fair full-day and that in the Fodder-Schools in face of the Arrian Sophisters where I was ordained to pay the Charges by reason of some Clause mistaken in the Relation of the Serjeant Another time I framed a Complaint to the Court against the Mules of the Presidents Counsellors and others tending to this purpose that when in the lower Court of the Palace they left them to champ on their Bridles some Bibs might be made for them that with their Drivelling they might not spoil the Pavement to the end that the Pages of the Palace might play upon it at Dice or Coxbody at their own ease without spoiling their Breeches at the Knees And for this I had a fair Decree but it cost me dear Now reckon up what Expence I was at in little Banquets which from Day to Day I made to the Pages of the Palace And to what end said I My Friend said he thou hast no pass-time at all in this World I have more than the King and if thou wilt join thy self with me we will do the Devil together No no said I by St. Adauras that will I not for thou wilt be hanged one time or another And thou said he wilt be interred sometime or other Now which is most honourable the Air or the Earth Ho grosse Pecore Whilst the Pages are at their Banqueting I keep their Mules and to some one I cut the Stirrup-leather of the Mounting side till it hang but by a thin Strap or Thread that when the great Puff-guts of the Counsellor or some other hath taken his Swing to get up he may fall flat on his Side like a Pork and so furnish the Spectators with more than a hundred Francks worth of Laughter But I laugh yet further to think how at his home-coming the Master-page is to be whipp'd like green Rie which makes me not to repent what I have bestowed in feasting them In brief he had as I said before threescore and three Ways to acquire Money but he had two hundred and fourteen to spend it besides his Drinking CHAP XVIII How a great Scholar of England would have argued against Pantagruel and was overcome by Panurge IN that same time a certain learned Man named Thaumast hearing the Fame and Renown of Pantagruel's incomparable Knowledg came out of his own Countrey of England with an Intent only to see him to try thereby and prove whether his Knowledg in Effect was so great as it was reported to be In this Resolution being arrived at Paris he went forthwith unto the House of Pantagruel who was lodged in the Palace of St. Denys and was then walking in the Garden with Panurge philosophizing after the Fashion of the Peripateticks At his first Entrance he startled and was almost out of his Wits for Fear seeing him so great and so tall then did he salute him courteously as the Manner is and said unto him Very true it is saith Plato the Prince of Philosophers that if the Image of Knowledg and Wisdom were corporeal and visible to the Eyes of Mortals it would stir up all the World to admire her Which we may the rather believe that the very bare Report thereof scattered in the Air if it happen to be received into the Ears of Men who for being studious and Lovers of vertuous things are called Philosophers doth not suffer them to sleep nor rest in Quiet but so pricketh them up and sets them on fire to run unto the Place where the Person is in whom the said Knowledg is said to have built her Temple and uttered her Oracles as it was manifestly shewn unto us in the Queen of Sheba who came from the utmost Borders of the East and Persian Sea to see the Order of Solomon's House and to hear his Wisdom In Anacharsis who came out of Scythia even unto Athens to see Solon In Pythagoras who travelled far to visit the Memphitical Vaticinators In Platon who went a great way off to see the Magicians of Egypt and Architas of Tarentum In Apollonius Tianeus who went as far as unto Mount Caucasus passed along the Scythians the Massagetes the Indians and sailed over the great River Phison even to the Brachmans to see Hiarchas As likewise unto Babylon Chaldea Media Assyria Parthia Syria Phaenicia Arabia Palestina and Alexandria even unto Aethiopia to see the Gymnosophists The like Example have we of Titus Livius whom to see and hear divers studious Persons came to Rome from the Confines of France and Spain I dare not reckon my self in the Number of those so excellent Persons but well would be called studious and a Lover not only of Learning but of learned Men also And indeed having heard the Report of your so inestimable Knowledg I have left my Country my Friends my Kindred and my House and am come thus far valuing at nothing the length of the Way the Tediousness of the Sea nor Strangeness of the Land and that only to see you and to confer with you about some Passages in Philosophy of Geomancie and of the Cabalistick Art whereof I am doubtful and cannot satisfy my Mind which if you can resolve I yield my self unto you for a Slave henceforward together with all my Posterity for other Gift have I none that I can esteem a Recompence sufficient for so great a Favour