obey He having finisht his discourse up starts The Optative who wisht that all their hearts Had been as his then th 'had not fought that day For he and 's Foreman utinam ran away And though the Imperative had the greatest command Yet he of Tenses had five to one at hand More than t'other and was no good House-holder As being so great a wisher and a woulder For all good Prayers he did never want As I would God I pray God and God grant And that there might be no more hatred he 'd say Vtinam amem God grant I love alway Which is the onely way to keep 's in peace And having so spoke his Speech did cease The Potential then stood up and to 'em said Next to the Imperative he 'd be obey'd For though he had indeed the chief command Yet he was more mighty both in Goods and Land As may be seen by the Signes at his door When others have but one yet he has six more As may can might could would should or ought Which unto this Potency has him brought And cou'd say amem I may or can love Or let it alone for he wou'd still move In his own Sphere and never wou'd quarrel But relieve the needy and those that are ill Saying I may or do what I please herein But 't is best not fight but sleep in a whole skin The Subjunctive then began to tell his Tale But when he striv'd to do 't alone wou'd fail But must be forc'd to take a Conjunction To joyn with him or not use his Function For the Subjunctive if the truth were known Is but the Adjectives Bastard for alone They can't stand in Reason or Signification But must have a word joyn'd to keep the sence warm And stick like a Gizzard still under each arm The Subjunctive then at last did declare He wou'd be subject to any thing else but War The Infinitive then to end the Debate Said Of all the Verbs he did participate And also he cou'd do suffer or be What he pleas'd within 's own Seigniorie And was inferiour unto none Of the Moods but of himself cou'd stand alone For I can force amare to love my Daughter And amaturum esse to love hereafter And amandum and amatum to love also And amatu to be belov'd whe'r he will or no. And likewise can command docturum esse To teach hereafter my Daugher Besse Nay I cou'd shew you an Infinite more But for brevities sake I now give ore And do infinitely desire there may be No more of fighting if you 'll be rul'd by me Of the TENSES THe Tenses they being Servants to the Moods They call'd 'em to account about those Feuds The Present Tense did first himself present And truth to say he did those times lament He presently then told them all That they Cou'd never think him guilty of that Fray For he vow'd Had he been present when 't was done He wou'd have been the first that shou'd a run For who knows better to get out of Bands When Times and Seasons are all in our hands The Preterimperfect Tense did then appear But was imperfect in 's relation there For though his time was not perfectly past He confest that with amabam he did love at last But loving not then they told him 't was a fault And was the cause that all that trouble was wrought He vow'd he was not there at that same time When 't began so not guilty of that crime The Preterperfect Tense then began to plead Protesting himself innocent of that deed For though his time was perfectly past yet he Said I have lov'd amavi ferventlie For he and I do all such Quarrels shun And never heard o' th' Battle until 't was done The Preterpluperfect then was call'd in And brought amaveram with him who had bin His long and constant friend who said Though their time Were more than perfectly past yet that crime Cou'd not be laid to their charge ' cause that they Had lov'd one another many a day And will do 't still with leave o' th' Future Tense That they got great applause when they went thence The Future Tense at last was called in Who plainly told 'em If he had guilty bin Of such a thing he deserv'd to be blam'd But yet say they methinks y' are not asham'd To confess you did not love No says he I did not for that can be no fault in me For an Astrologer told me once at home That my time of loving was not yet come And likewise told me that amabo and I Shall or will love most certainly Then all the Court remov'd and did pray They ne'r might see such another day On the Squibs and Crackers thrown on the Lord Mayors day 'T Was just the day 'fore twenty ten Of dull October being then The Lord Mayors show or eke his day So call'd by th' Vulgar as they say I speak not of that glorious Crew That past us by in open view As first the Companies several Belonging to each others Hall All clad in black with half red Tippit Who on their Petitoes did trip it Nor of those Velvet-coats so black With Chains of gold hung on their back Nor of that Teem of Scarlet-Riders Who of the City-wards are Guiders Nor of the Troops and Horses fairness Whose Masters all were clad in Harness Whose Officers Coats bedecked were With Gold embroider'd every where Nor the Foot with Bagpipe Fife and Drum Who thither with the rest did come For to attend our Soveraign Whom God preserve with all his Train Nor of those gallant Princely Coaches To all I gave a Bonos noches But of those Gallants Treat I do That were Spectators of that Show Who there were placed in Balconies ' Mongst which were many antient Cronies And Ladies young who all there stood I can't say sit they wisht they cou'd For in the twinkling of an eye Such Squibs and Crackers then did flie In such a horrid fiery fashion It forc'd them all to change their station Lest it should burn their Garments gay Which borrowed were perhaps that day They chiefly flew like Whirligigs On curled Hair and Perriwigs Nothing escap'd them they were so set That all was Fish that came to Net A couple came that day to see And to be seen in all their braverie And drest they were most finically That all shou'd note that stood them by In striped Mantua's they were drest Of all colours i' th' Rainbow I protest And both were in Balcony set Thinking their gayness then so great That none wou'd venture their Squibs to fling At them being as fine as any thing The Squibs and Cracker-men below Observing what they did and how Confident they were that none would throw And being intent about the Show Some ten of them together flung Which did directly light among Those which in that Balcony sate Which made them stir but 't was too late And 'fore they cou'd remove their station Up
her Bed Sir 5. She beat poor manus with a Cane Though he did often hand her From Whetstones-Park and Parkers-lane And was her constant Pander Yet give him manibusses when That she cou'd get no other men That he cou'd notwithstand her 6. 'Bout Noon she 'd with meridies dine And sup and bed him too Sir She 'd make poor facies to her incline In spight of all he cou'd do Sir She day by day would dies pledge Which set poor acies tooth an edge And often made him spew Sir 7. Thus have I shew'd her kindness here And all her dear Relations As musa lapis magister And all their antick fashions Meridies manus and foelix too Had happy been had they ne'r knew Any of all her Stations The COMPARISONS The Tune And 't is the Knave of Clubs bears all the Sway. 1. MY Mistriss she loves Dignities For she has taken three Degrees There 's no Comparison to be made With her in all her subtle Trade For Audax boldly said unto her Y' are positively known a Whore 2. And first I Positive her call ' Cause she 'll be absolute in all For she is still to durus hard And often with sweet dulcis jarr'd Which made kind tristis very sad To see poor pauper us'd so bad 3. Next she is call'd Comparative ' Cause she 'll compare with any alive In all the illiberal Sciences Which she has learned by Degrees Nay was more hard to durior Than all the rest o' th' Crew before 4. Last I Superlative her call ' Cause she 'll be uppermost of all And yet although she was so high Lov'd underneath her self to lie And us'd durissimus I hear The hard'st of all when he came there 5. Thus have I t' ye my Mistriss shown How she is positively known And Comparatively too She did outlearn the rest o' th' Crew And of her being Superlative ' Cause she 'd be highest of all alive Of the Five kinds of Verbs THe Verbs a Battle had of late they say Which did consist of five Regiments that day The first was call'd the Active and they were The activ'st men of any that were there And Amo was their chief Commander then Who said I love ye ' cause y' are gallant men And Coronel Amo with his active Crew Did lead the Van which was indeed their due Next was the Passive which was thought the best Because they suffered more than all the rest For those that in a Fight do suffer most Are thought the bravest men though some are lost And noble Amor did command in chief That gallant Regiment though to his grief For Amo onely says I love But I Amor am loved so shall be till I die The next Coronel that appear'd in fight Was known to be an arrant Hypocrite Which was old Neuter for he 'd sometimes make You to believe that he wou'd freely take Your part but t wou'd sometimes with curro run From one side to th' other but being egg'd on To fight then wou'd he have some slie trick And with aegroto say I 'm very sick And oftentimes wou'd give good words to either When truth to tell he was indeed for neither And being Neuter he was new-turn'd out At which the whole Regiment did give a shout Then the Commander of the fourth Regiment Was one they call'd Monsieur Deponent Which was for laying down as soon as chose And was the first that endeavour'd to depose Himself from that Command and was Brother To Neuter they were so like each other He was indeed a Jack in a Box for he Wou'd sometimes Active and then Passive be When Active then must loquor verbum speak A word in his behalf his mind to break But when Passive and then did suffer most Yet wou'd he still with glorior vaunt and boast Nay their two Regiments did them so handle They both went out like a snuff of Candle The first Regiment was commanded by One Communis of th' others Fraternity And though that he did always end in r Just like a Passive yet would he always car ' A fair outside to amo and so free As to say to him Osculor te I kiss thee But when amor came then who but he Saying Osculor à te I 'm kissed of thee Thus to conclude and the truth to tell Had these three Regiments done their duty well There had been an end of that mortal Fray Much sooner than it was as many say Then my advice is shou'd they fight agen To chuse for Coronels some other men And like him 't is very Common to protest Kindness to one when we mean nothing less The MOODS THe Battle of the Verbs being fully known And their Regiments describ'd one by one The Moods intend it seems to let us know The cause o' th' Quarrel and the manner how The Indicative being the Primier Mood The rest of them then did think it good To let him speak as being Secretory And therefore being fitt'st to tell the story Dear Brethren says he I must tell ye They were deceiv'd by fallo's Son fefelli Who was employ'd by all the Verbs about it And he deceiv'd 'em else they had not fought it And the chief cause indeed was as I hear From some anomalous Verbs that were there Who are Verbs always out of rule and so Not to be rul'd by any man you know As possum volo nolo malo and Edo fero who then was in command And 's unde feror too and all the rest Of that tumultuous Crew said 't was best To fight it out Says possum I may or can Nay am able to fight with any man Says volo I am willing to side with you And will participate in what you do Nolo said He was unwilling to have peace And malo was more willing than all these To fight Says edo I 'll eat my way through 'um That 's the ready way says one to undo ' um But fero was more fierce than all for he Said he 'd bear or suffer any thing than flee Says ferro I 've born and suffer'd more than all And in your Cause resolve to stand or fall Says fio How came this to be made or done Then all fall on him every Mothers son So some took one side and others t'other Until they 'd near destroy'd one another This being spoke they all were at a stand Then says th' Imperative I do command Silence among ye all and bid ye too Strictly to observe what I shall say or do For he was one that was imperious And never spoke in other manner but thus Saying Had I been there I 'd a charg'd 'em all To cease from fighting or have made 'em fall By my imperious hand for let me but say Ama amato love thou and they all obey Or pugnate pugnatote fight ye And if ye do well then I will knight ye Thus my being absent caus'd the fight that day None knew how to command nor none to
came ten more i' the same fashion Which quickly burnt their curled Hair Their Hoods and Scarfs and all was there Their Rain-bow-colour'd Cloths I find Were all burnt both before and behind And left 'em in most woful cases For 't scorcht the Patches on their faces They were so claw'd that one did swear They both like Gipsies did appear Though they came in in merry posture Yet when went out their eyes were moister Though they at fore-door did come in Yet they at back-door went out agin And forc'd were t' go to their old Stallion Being al-a-mode de Taterdemallion Also a Lord but the Lord knows who It was for it burnt his Breeches too His Velvet-coat Perriwig and Hat And also his richly lac'd Cravat Nay they from Windows scarce cou'd peep But suddenly were forc'd to creep Back again or those Ladies fair Were sure to burn their Hoods and Hair No Gowns nor Whisks did then escape For on Petticoats they made a Rape Not on those that were a top alone But below too they were so sawcy grown Another it seems then to secure A pretty Lady did then endure A hot Contest but by his leave It quickly burnt his Half-shirt-sleeve The Author catcht one in 's hand a top And flung't in 's face that threw it up To keep 't from them that were above But by his favour it burnt his Glove Last I advise if any chance to go Agen to see the Lord Mayors Show They must not in Balconies stand Or any place that 's low at hand But i' th' Garret or the Leads a top For that 's too high to fling 'em up A Song to the Tune of Thomas I cannot 1. COme my Molly let us be jolly Now we are both come hither Thy Mother 's from home and we are alone Then let us be merry together I 'll give thee some Rings and Bracelets fine And other Trinkets if thou wilt be mine In truth good Sir I dare not incline My Mother does tell me I munnot I munnot My Mother does tell me I munnot 2. Thou sha't have a Gown of the vinest zilk The like was never zeena Thou sha't ha the Cream of all the Milk Of the Cows that go on the Greena To make thee some Curds and Cheescakes store And Custards too all sugar'd ore I pray you good Sir now say no more My Mother does tell me I munnot c. 3. Thy Wastcoat shall be of Scarlet too With Ribonds tyed together Thy Stockins shall be of a Bow-died hue And thy shoes of Spanish Leather And upon each Shoe a silken Knot For to set out thy delicate foot In truth good Sir I dare not do 't My Mother does tell me c. 4. Thy Petticoat shall be of Sey The best in all the Towna And thou shalt wear it every day And zo thou shalt thy Gowna Thy Smock shall be of Holland fine If thou in love with me wo't joyn In truth good Sir I dare not combine My Mother does tell me c. 5. I 'll feof thee in a Copy-hold Of Forty pound a yeara And I ha Twonty pound in Gold Will serve to make good Cheara O no you men I know ye too well But give you an inch and you 'll take an ell And when you have done you Tales will tell In truth good Sir I munnot I munnot My Mother does tell me I munnot 6. Why then my Molly here I vow My Lips shall still be sealed And whatsoever we do now Shall never be revealed With one sweet Kiss we 'll seal the same Deny me but this you are to blame O this Kiss doth so inflame I cannot hold out a minit a minit I cannot hold out a minit A SONG The Tune My Dame Joan hath pawn'd her Kittle 1. CLear up those stormy Brows and teach My weak and wadling Love to go Who makes 'twixt Infant-loves a breach Sure is no stout nor gallant foe Prethee let us prove that Cupid is above The firm Votes of immortal Fate Though a Child he be let Malice see That Love is stronger far than Hate 2. Then be no longer fondly coy Death 's here more welcome than delay Love is a nimble sprightly Boy And hath swift wings the Poets say Let 's lose no time 't is a capital crime None sins in Love like him that 's slow If I wanton be pray pardon me Love's a Child and Children will be so 3. My Senses call me dull and blame My calmness that thus pleading stands Come your Mother she did do the same Yield or I must lay violent hands For shall I spare one such a Rape hath done And violence on my Soul hath lain And why should she thus ravish me And I not ravish her again 4. Why this stir why this denying This pish pish Groper stand away Why this proud and coy denying ' Cause I there my hand did lay I did grope 't is true but in love sure you Will count it no offence I hope If the cause you 'll find know Love is blind And they that cannot see must grope A Mock-Song to Come my Daphne Man COme my durty Pug away What the Pox d' ye mean to say Wom. 'T is Rowland calls what wou'd my Swine Man Come up you Whore 't is time to dine Where Vulcan shall provide A Whip to claw your hide Wom. Were I shut up within a Jail 'T is Rowland he must be my Bail Man You lazy Whore make hast The Meat at fire doth wast In the burning Fountain I Must for ever live and die And on thy mangy bosom stray Would fright would fright Would fright the Devil away Chorus We 'll howl and weep and ne'r give ore Because the Fiends do see do see The cursed glee 'Twixt thee and me But never will deplore My sad but fatal Destinie Another Drunken Mock to Come my Daphne T. COme my Bully-rock away We do wast this drinking day R. 'T is Roger calls What news you Sot T. Come see you Rogue what I have got For Bacchus still provides Brisk Wine to stuff our Hides R. Were I shut up in Cellar deep I 'd first be drunk before I 'd sleep T. Ye lazy Rogue make hast The Wine will spoil and wast R. With good Sack and Claret I Will for ever live and die And from Bung-hole ne'r will stray Till thee and I have suckt it quite away Chorus We 'll drink and sleep and then we 'll snore That Bacchus he May dayly see The Bubbing Glee 'Twixt thee and mee But never will give ore Whilst we good Sack or Claret see The Wooing Gallant A SONG 1. COme hither my dearest come hither to me And I will be so loving to thee As never was man before Then gi' me thy heart and thou sha't a mine For if I may be certain of thine I 'll never desire no more Then unto my house we 'll trip it away And fit and provide for the Wedding-day We 'll dance and we 'll sing And