With hawf of a gude awd Sickle And thus Riches run on with me 11. A Hook with a Lash in the end In money three Scotch Marks On the wedding-day we 'll spend Or else we 'll pawn our Sarks 12. We 'll send for Sir John the Vicar And Meg and Maudlin sune And we 'll have Crook Dick the Piper He 'll play us a merry tune 13. And now to the Kirk they are gean And Jinny has hausted Jock For the De'il a Sark had Jocky Nor Jinny had never a Smock 14. And our Sir John the Vicar Unto the matter did say Here Jinny tack thee Jocky And gea together gea 15. And the De'il gea with ye beath And send ye mickle shame For I ne'er coupled sike together Since I to th' Kirk first came A Song The Tune Madams farewel 1. MY Youth it was free From horrour And terrour I ne'er did agree With the Black nor the Fair So stubborn I grew I laught at And scoff'd at Those men that I knew Were brought in Loves Snare Nay more than this I laugh'd at the pains Men took to be wretched and loaded with chains But when I the Charms of my Phillis did see I resign'd up my heart and refus'd to be free 2. My heart then began To be fired And mired With Love Never Man Was in Fetters so fast Yet forgot that she was A Woman For no Man Could yet know the Cause Why their love does not last I never consider'd the Tricks nor the Art She us'd to intangle and captive each Heart At length I discover'd and presently knew That my Phillis was fickle and could not be true 3. I curst my hard fate That taught me And brought me Into this sad state Thus to kindle my flame When I did begin To pause on 't The cause on 't I knew it was mine Not my Phillis to blame I bore such respect to her that I thought Whatever she did 't was I was in fault At length I resolv'd that I never would be So mad as to love but would ever be free The Politick Wedding The Tune Shackle de Hay 1. JAn and Nan were both in love And often met together And Wat and Kate did Rivals prove To watch their coming thither For Watty he did fancy Nan And Katy she was fond of Jan But 't was unknown to either 2. At last it came to Watty's Ear That Kate did fancy Janny And Katy she did likewise hear That Wat's in love with Nanny And both together did agree To spoil their former Amitie But 'T was unknown to any 3. So Watty did to Janny go And vow'd he 'd be his Friend still By which intrigue he still did know Whate'er they did intend still What news soever he did know To Katy he would quickly go Or unto her would send still 4. Poor Jan and Nan were sadly griev'd To see they were betray'd still They knew not how they were deceiv'd Wat so his Plots had laid still They knew it must be Wat alone That did betray and still make known What e'er they did or said still 5. So both together laid a Plot To frame a Quarrel neatly Whereby they might discover Wat And so come off compleatly For when that he unto them came A Quarrel they so well did frame That it succeeded featly 6. Then Wat away to Kate did go And quickly told her of it This news says she which now I know I ever more did covet And now the plot so well is laid And thee thy part so well hast plaid Le ts study to improve it 7. Then Katy went to Jan and said That Nan's in love with Watty And Wat told Nan she was betraid For Jan did fancy Katy By which they did discover that They were betraid by Kate and Wat In all their private Treaty 8. Then privately they thank'd 'em both For what they did discover And both seem'd passionately wroth Calling each a perjur'd Lover Then Wat told Kate what he had done And Kate the thread that she had spun And for that time gave over 9. O' th' morrow Jan for Kate did send And rail'd against poor Nanny And Nanny did on Watty spend A groat and rail'd on Janny And so 't continu'd day by day That Wat and Kate would smile say Poor Souls we shall trapan ye 10. When Jan Nan had brought about Their ends they soon did marry For Wat and Kate did never doubt Their plot could e'er miscarry And being a bed on th'wedding-night Put Wat and Kate in such a fright They scarce could make 'em tarry 11. When Wat and Kate had paus'd a while And saw th' were circumvented Both Jan and Nan put on a smile And both their loves presented And told them they knew how it was For love not hatred was the cause And pray'd 'em rest contented 12. Wat then did go and kiss the Bride And took her by the hand too And Katy went a tother side And kiss'd her Lover Jan too O' th' morrow Wat and Kate did wed And Jan and Nan saw them in bed And each kiss'd Maid and Man too 13. Next day for Musick all did send And all their Friends invited And that their Loves might have no end Their Faiths they all there plighted Then Jan and Nan and Wat and Kate Did dance and feast and kiss and prate Until they were benighted 14. Thus have you seen this double knot How both have had their speeding How both did plot and counter-plot And both on hopes were feeding And therefore now I do intend At present for to make an end Of this my Politick Wedding The Drunkards Invitation A Song 1. COme take up your Cups and spare not And think no more hurt than I do Call for Quart after Quart To drive Sorrow from thy Heart And then tumble in the dirt as I do 2. Come take up your Liquor and stay not Still calling for more as I do And up with your Drink Till y 'ave spent all your Chink And then run on the Score as I do 3. Come take up your Drink and flinch not And every day feast as I do Drink again and again Till y 'ave fill'd ev'ry Vein And then spew like a Beast as I do 4. Come trole it about with swiftness Be every day drunk as I And get many knocks Nay be put in the Stocks For kissing your Punk as I do 5. Pick Quarrels and fight in thy fury And meet with your match as I do And be laid by the Heels Though against your wills For abusing the Watch as I do 6. Come wind up your bottoms and care not Till y 'ave belcht and stunk as I do Call for Pint after Pint Till the Brain 's out of joint Then cast up what y 'ave drunk as I do 7. I 'll adopt you my Heirs at present And install you the Sons of King Priam So that you will be So frolick and free To be every man drunk as I am A Scotch Song 1. ANd I
LONDON DROLLERY Or The Wits Academy BEING A Select Collection of the Newest Songs Lampoons and Airs Alamode WITH Several other most Ingenious Peices of Railery never before Published By W. H. London Printed by F. Eglesfield at the Marygold in St. Pauls-Church-Yard 1673. THE EPISTLE TO LONDON DROLLERY Reader THe other Drolleries going so swift away Why should I think that this should make a stay For this by several Criticks has been scan'd And Stationer to before he 'd tak 't in hand And being well approv'd before it came to th' Press I cannot think that it will have a less Esteem abroad then any of the rest Because it has endur'd so severe a test Suspend thy Censure till thou 'st fully seen 't I do not doubt but thou'lt find something in 't Will please thy Pallet Is thy mind Jocose Here 's that will please unless thou' rt too Morose And being suited to all humours so ' Nought but but Impartiality can have a low Esteem for it The envious I value not For they in Peccadillo things will be so hot And wreak their spight on any though unknown And all forsooth because 't is not their own If ought do please thee then I 'am well apaid For all these things unto that end was made If not then leave it 't is all one to Will I was VV. H. and so shall be still Dated on May-day when so lowd it Thundered In Anno Seventy three and Sixteen hundred LONDON DROLLERY A New Song TOo fair and unkind when I did discover Those charmes to which all that see you submit Your languishing eies first made me a lover And then you that Empire kept by your wit For you the soft fetters of Phillis I broke To put on a Lass a more rigorous yoke Poor Phillis was kind her slave to preserve You doom me to wait and force me to starve 2. Away with Devotion which makes you uneasie And with you good humour so ill doth agree Faith try but the pleasure and when Zeal wou'd seize ye You l find the fit better imploy'd upon me For Love the dull Cloyster as highly exceeds As numbring of hearts does dropping of Beads And Saints like to Iris are never Divine Till Mortals are suffered to kneel at their shrine A New Song 1. LOng betwixt love and fear Phillis tormented Shun'd her own wish yet at last she consented But loath the day should her blushes discover Come gentle night she said Come quickly to my aid And a poor shameface Maid Hide from her Lover 2. Now cold as I see I am now hot as fire I dare not tell my self mine own desire But let day fly away and bid night hast her Grant ye kind Powers above Slow hours of parting love But when to Bliss we move Let 'em fly faster 3. How sweet it is to Love when I discover That fire which burns my Soul warming my lover 'T is pitty Love so true should be mistaken If that then he might be False or unkind to me Let me die e're I see That I am forsaken A New Song 1. TAke heed fair Clelia how you tame With your disdain Dorastus fame A noble heart when once deny'd Swells into such a height of pride T will rather burst then dain to be A worshipper of Cruelty 2. You may use common Lovers so My Sighs at last to Storms will grow And blow such scorn upon this Pride Will blast all I have magnified You are not fair when Love you lack Ingratitude makes all things black 3. O do not for a flock of Sheep And golden showers when as you sleep Nor cause Ambition often swells Forsake the place where honor dwells In Damons Pallace you 'l never shine So bright as in those Arms of mine A New Song in the Fatal Jealousie 1. I Languish all Night and sigh all the Day And much to be pittied I am Ere since your bright eyes My heart did surprize I could not exstinguish the flame But since you have known My heart was your own Who before was so kind now scornfuller grown If so cruel you prove To the man that you love Ah Phillis Ah Phillis what Fate Alas is reserved for the man that you hate The Devout Drunkard being a Mock to O Love if e're thou lt ease a heart And to that Tune 1. O Bacchus if thou lt ease a Soul That owns thy Juicy power And bleeds for that high chirping bowl For which mine eyes ne're ceasing rowl Until I see that hour Under the Tunne I fainting waste A thousand times I wish to taste But when I see such halting haste To ease me of my thirsty pain I bleed with grief in every vein 2. But thus as I sate all alone I' th' deep and shady vault Continuing still in grief and moan A neighbouring drawer then came down Which was the man in fault O how I strove the Rogue to chide He blush'd and striv'd his fault to hide And swore the tatling Eccho lied And pray'd my Passion then forbear Least it should come to 's Masters ear But Bacchus yet I 'de die to gain But one poor parting Cup Although it lately fill'd my Brain Impose on me all racks of pain If soon I drink 't not up Thus are poor Mortals oft abus'd Who long God Bacchus trade have us'd Cause drawers often have refus'd When we do burn with thirsty flame To give us that would quench the same The Dutch Insolence the occasion of the War with them ending with an Elegy on Mr. Boyle WHen the Dutch States with Insolence were grown So monstrous big they scarce had room for one They sought about for more yet naught could please But the Dominion of the Brittish Seas In order unto which they load the main With Men of War and all the world disdain Their Sails being fil'd with what themselves are full They under Sail did then attempt to pull The power into their own hands from her that nurst Them up they did attempt but in the attempt they burst For when calm Albion's King a while had view'd The monstrous preparations of this rude Ignoble people strait he lanched forth A mighty Navy mighty for its worth But for its Conduct more being led by him Whose glorious Actions might the Caesars dim Illustrious James it was whose powerful Arm The Dutch felt burning hot when he scarce warm And ' mongst the Noble train did waite upon His Royal Highness noble Boyle was one A noble youth who in his Aspect bore The Characters of good and great in store His person built to such a height and due Proportion as any thing that 's true And with his person such his actions were That every move was pleasing every move did dare To something great yet with such modest mean He was admir'd and lov'd as soon as seen And though the convex of his body wore This taking Aspect yet within was more For there a genious sate so strung that strait To what you toucht if what
Sprouts that I 'le swear at first sight I thought ' thad bin Bacon and Pullats downright 3. The next dish of Cheese that came to the bord Was a whole half-Lamb a dish for a Lord But I know 't was Cheese I 'de a swore ' thad bin The Baby of a Ewe or very near a kin 4. The third dish of Cheese that was then brought up Was a Pie with Oysters and Shrimps to the top Mingled with Sweet-meats but that I knew 'T was Cheese I de thought ' thad bin a Pie to 5. The fourth dish of Cheese though tother were clean Yet this all Foul all Fat none Lean As wild Ducks Wood-cocks and Larks so well done You 'd swear 't were not Cheese but foul ev'ry one 6. Now God to bless our good Benefactors both That gave us such Cheese first Boil'd in broth The next Rost then Bak'd then Rost agen to None tosted as the Welchmen uses to do The Welchmans Wooing his Mistris To the Scotch Tune as above 1. SHinkin was tell Hur sorrowful tale Of Hur pright Pigsnie live in Wale How Hur was to Guenith a Wooing Ride With Hur prave Puckler and Swerd by hur side 2. First Hur was take Hur by the white hand And lead Hur over the Mountain land Which Hur Cousin Shinkin ap Morgan ap Shone Was fery well kenow was all hur owne 3. Then Hur was Sing Hur a Wisdom Song Was make in London creat while agone Of Hur Puty pright but Guenith was scorn That Shinkin with Love was quite forlorn 4. Then Hur was call for Welch Harp to try To play fore Guenith Melodiously But Hur was greeve cause Guenith was chide That Shinkin with Love was almost died 5. Then Hur was dance a Coranto to Was learn in London pig while ago But Hur was slight still all Shinkins art That Shinkin for Love was preak her heart 6. Last Hur was recken hur Pettigree true From Shinkin ap Thomas ap Rees ap Hugh But Guenith was cry and from hur was flew So Hur was pid Cruel Guenith adew The Innocent Girles Reveng'd A Song and true Story 1. JInny and Nelly together Did both of 'em fancy Will Yet Willy regarded neither But Courted his Molly still Yet Willy they say Did keep'm in Play And privately call'd 'em his dear And Jinny and Nelly The Truth to tell ye Did both of 'em make him good chear 2. To day wou'd Willy to Jinny go O' th morrow with Nelly wou'd be But neither o' th Girles did ever know That he with both was so free For Jinny did think She was at the brink Of Marriage with Willy alone And Nelly likewise Did always surmise That she should have Willy or none 3. Jinny sometimes to Willy gave A Favour and Gloves or Rings And Nelly wou'd always ready have The like or some other things But what e're he got He kept not a jot But gave 'em to Molly at Night That Willy and Molly Did laugh at the folly Of Jinny and Nelly out-right 4. But Molly wou'd still be prating As Women are use to do And spoke of the Lasses treating Of Willy and presents to And how he gave her The Rings and Favors That they had presented to Willy And then by your Leaves They laught in their sleeves That Lasses shou'd e're be so silly 5. But now I must tell you the knack on 't To Jinny and Nelly 't was known That Molly did use to crack on 't In several places in Town But Nell on her Brest Did see at a Feast The Favour to Willy she gave And Jenny likewise On her finger espies The Ring she 'd giv'n to the Knave 6. Then Jinny and Nelly acquainted Some friends of theirs that were come And told how their credits were tainted By Will and Mall in the Room Then they by a Wile Did Willy beguile And got him into a yard by And so they mumpt him For soundly they pumpt him Until he for pardon did cry 7. Then Molly did kick and fling to And fum'd like a furmety pot So from her they took the Ring to And what of theirs she had got Then out they pull'd her And presently cool'd her For under the Pump they plac'd her And when they had done They bid her go home And brag how much they had grac'd her A Song to the first Figure Dance at Mr. Young's Ball in Feb. 72. 1. COme Lads and Lasses And hasten your paces For this is a merry Dancing day 'T is May-Day you know And the Clock has struck Two And now the Piper begins to play The May-Pole's seated And Bower's compleated With Cakes and Ale attending And Cream and Cheese-cakes With Sider and Biskets And all of the Parishes sending 2. My Lord and Lady Have long been ready And both of 'm deckt as fine as may be So rich on my word He looks like a Lord And she 's as fine as a Bartlemew Baby She is dress'd to day So wonderful gay With that she has gotten together And likewise is he As Gallant as she With his new fashion Hat and Feather 3. There 's John a the Mill to With Joan a the Hill to Have both been there an hour ago And Will of the â—ell to With high dancing Nell to And clad in their best Apparel to And George a the green Is there to be seen Together with cherry cheekt Hester And Betty and Richard With dainty fine Bridget Who came with her capering Kester 4. Then for our-Town hey They every one cry And each did take his Lass by th' hand And about they go The Green too and fro And round the May-pole then make a stand So the Piper then Fell to it agen And Sellenger's Round did Play 'um And to it they went They were all so bent The Devil a one could stay ' um 5. And so they continue With all their Retinue Until they were tir'd with Dancing quite The Piper likewise Cou'd scarce keep his eyes Open for playing from morn till night Then hey for the Ale And Cakes they do call And down in the Bowers they set 'em And when they had done Then every one Away to their homes did get ' em A Song on the Morris at Mr. Youngs Ball And to that Tune SOme Pretty Ladies on a day Did go abroad a Maying And on the gentle grass they lay Till the Fidler fell a Playing Then in a trice They all did rise With every one a Feather And hand in hand They made a stand Four and four together 2. Then every one began to meet And tim'd the Musick truly And with their pretty nimble feet Did keep their measures duly Then all came out And Danc'd about And fixt into a figure And so began The Morris than With pretty might and vigour 3. And first fair T. D. did begin VVhose dancing scarce has fellow And Lovely S. B. follow'd in VVhose dress was comly yellow Then pretty Li Tript out and in And footed it most neatly And witty Sin did
or accurst Sure is that Man that loves one single VVhore And with one drink does always quench his thirst And loves one single Mistress and no more There 's no more Curse nor other torments here Nor greater Plague than love one Whore too dear On a Maid that dy'd for Love her Parents not giving Consent HE that would write an Epitaph for thee Must be a Lover yet from Love be free If not a Lover how can he express In lively Lines the sum of thy distress And if in Love then every word and verse Doth unto him his Destinie rehearse Then every stroke his nimble Pen doth give Doth wound his heart teach him how to live A Quill pluck'd from fierce Cupids Wing must be His Pen his Ink must come from Aganipe How can his Eyes be dry when he doth tell That from thine Eyes great Showers have often fell A Song In a Dialogue between Palemon and Corrinna 1. Pal. COrrinna Prethee tell me why That all do love but thee and I Sure at our Birth 't is very plain Some inauspicious Star did reign 2. Cor. No no Palemon thou' rt the Cause 'T is thou hast broken Cupid's Laws His Laws did ne'er force Women so To love Men whe'r they wou'd or no. 3. Pal. Is that a force to cringe and pray And Treat you Nobly every day Had you at first not thought it meet Why did y' accept a second Treat 4. Cor. Fie fie Palemon now y' are more Mistaken than you were before For 't is not twenty Treats that can Oblige us Women t' love a Man 5. Pal. What is it then will make you love I 'll fetch 't from Hell or Heaven above Assist me now in this distress I 'll own you for my Patroness 6. Cor. If Women love it must be these Particulars which follow please First He must be of proper size Which often does attract our Eyes 7. Then must he have a handsome face Good Meen good Wit and comely Grace Dance well and have an excellent Voice These these confirm us in our choice 8. Besides all these he likewise must Have that on which we both may trust A great Estate with City and Country-house both at Command 9. But faith of these you have but one That 's good Estate 'twont do alone This my Advice doth far excel Those Treats of yours and so farewel A Just True and Honourable Description of MARRIAGE OUt of stark love and kindness and arrant devotion Of Marriage I 'll give this galloping Notion 'T is the bane of all Bus'ness the end of all Pleasure The consumption of Youth VVit Vertue and Treasure 'T is the Rack of our Thoughts the Night-Mare of Sleep That calls us to work before the day peep That bids us make Brick without Stubble or Straw A Wife has no sence of Conscience or Law If you must be for flesh take the way that is noble In a generous Wench there 's nothing of trouble You kiss and you clip stay do what you please And the worst you can fear is but a Disease And Diseases you know may hope to be cur'd But the Torment of Marriage can ne'er be endur'd On a Young Lady in Love with a Married Man ARise fond Beautie cast those thoughts away To love in vain 't is ne'er the near they say Your Gallant who already marri'd is Can make of You no other but a Miss Certainly Madam Cupid's very blind If not to You I 'm sure he proves unkind Which forceth You to be in love with one Who lets You sigh and languish all alone Madam it troubles me both Night and Day That You should love so strangely out o' th way I do advise You Lady cease Your Suit And don't desire 't You haply else may rue't I 've travel'd many Kingdoms o'er and o'er Yet never heard of such a thing before The Face which heretofore did shine so bright And did abound with ravishing delight Is of a sudden both grown pale and wan And all forsooth is for a Marri'd Man O Love O Love If e'er thou 'lt ease a Heart Free this poor Lady let him feel the smart If not make her to scorn his cruel Soul As much as he o'er her does now controul And so for ever thou wilt counted be A God of Justice and of Equitie On his Beautiful Mistress 1. NOw guide my hand you Gods that are above To blaze the Beautie of my harmless Dove With whom I am o'er head and ears in love 2. She is so beauteous excellent and rare There 's none with her dares ever to compare She 's Beautie 's Queen and all her Subjects are 3. As for her Hair it is a lightish brown Which when unti'd does to her Heels hang down Her Brests as soft as any Thistle-down 4. Her Eyes as sparkling are as any fire Which darts into my Brest a fresh desire To kiss her hand and so a little higher 5. No Lilly can with her white hand compare Her other features all so curious are That looking on her I die with despair 6. Her Waste it is so pretty and so small She is my Sweet my Honey Dove my all And for her height She 's moderately tall 7. And for her Humour Gesture and her Wit All in one Body so profoundly knit Her Equal no where has been found as yet 8. Her excellent Voice when she is pleas'd to sing Sounds better far than th' Nightingal i' th' Spring And with an Eccho makes the Woods to ring 9. She 's Vertue't self as all that know her know it Then you will ask me what need I turn Poet And strive with simple Poetry to show it 10. If my bad Verses any one offend Another Cup of VVine will make me mend All I have said but here I 'll make an end A Song 1. IF thou wilt love me I 'll love thee again If my Griefs move thee I 'll love thy pain If thou disdain me I 'll die for wo And if thou flie me I 'll flie thee too For Love my Brest hath fill'd with such a fire That whatsoe'er thou wilt is my desire 2. If to be merrie be pleasing to thee I 'll leave off sadness and merrie be If Melancholie possess thy heart Then of that sadness I 'll bear a part For Love my Brest hath fill'd with such a fire That whatsoe'er thou wilt is my desire 3. If thou lov'st Musick I 'll love it too If Courtship please thee I 'll learn to woo If Dancing like thee I 'll learn the same And unto that my mind I 'll frame For Love my Brest hath fill'd with such a fire That whatsoe'er thou wilt is my desire 4. If thou would'st have me near thee still I always shall obey thy will Or if my presence sometimes be Offensive I will fly from thee For Love my Brest hath fill'd with such a fire That whatsoe'er thou wilt is my desire 5. If thou 'st a mind a Miss to be Then I will be most
true to thee Or if to Marriage thou' rt inclin'd I quickly then will change my mind For Love my Brest hath fill'd with such a Fire That to be cool'd by thee is my desire On Captain Hicks his Curiosities of Nature By a Young Lady NO Art to Nature can be equaliz'd VVhen 't is at best 't is but as Truth disguis'd As Shadows like it doth but represent With all the Skill that Artists can invent Wonders of Nature can ne'er be out-done Since they are fram'd by Providence alone Some things for Service some to please the sight Their great Contrivance doth create delight Yet to dull Fancies most such things as these Are not esteem'd and that 's it cannot please So still 't is Ignorance that denies 'em Worth Not able to discern or set them forth Such Rarities I much admire my self Since 't is Earth Air and VVaters greatest wealth I should detract from them should I but praise Heavens greatest Wonders 'mong which I number these Most Elements do grace this rare Collection Which Nature hath brought forth to great Perfection And for your trouble Sir in gathering of 'em Ingenious Men will praise you and those that love ' em VVhose great Applause you justly do deserve Your time being spent Heavens VVonders to preserve More might be said all with me will agree Onely the great'st defect is in E. C. His Answer to Madam E. C. Vpon her Curious Art in Cutting Figures in Paper and other her Artificial Curiosities I 'Ve often read that Art a Hand-maid was Unto Dame-Nature and not without Cause But now I see the contrary for in you I find the Proverb can no more be true For you in Art excel Dame Nature so That one would think your very Flowers do grow So well they 're cut by your ingenious hand VVhen Curiosoes see 'em they 're at a stand And plainly say That so it cannot be By any thing that 's humane but some Deitie Nay Painters do confess 't is done so well They thought 'em natural onely for the smell For Men Birds Beasts Fishes Trees Plants and Flowers Are so well cut by that same hand of yours That all do stand amaz'd and plainly say You in this Art do bear the Bell away 'T is rare to see a Female Herald yet you When of your Curiosities I took a view I saw some Coats of Arms so exactly done The Painters Pencils with Scissars Y 'ave out-gone And painted Paper is the onely Thing With the Clipping Tool You to life do bring To th' Eye those things which seem inanimate I wish destroying Time may no period set Unto those Eyes and Hands of Yours which do Imploy themselves to your content and ours too I 'll say no more but this and do despise All flatterie That had I a thousand Eies On Your Mysterious Art I would them fix So long as I am call'd W. Hicks MOll bears in one hand fire water in th' other But in her Chaffindish bears both together She 's Ambodexter with both her hands she plays Yet her Game 's smister both by nights and days She 's won with an Apple and lost with a Nut Her Bum is no Bilbo and yet it will cut As keen as a Razor that shaves away all Though she no sweet Water hath nor Barbars Ball. A Loose Acquaintance once of me desir'd To pass my word for Sattin for a Suit But being loth to do what he requir'd I of a Consonant became a Mute Which he took for Consent and Sattin got But seeing him mistake the Mute so much I Silence broke and told him I would not Unless I kept the Stuff that must keep touch Had I been bound for one that was so loose I had been gull'd and pull'd and made a Goose On Fat Peg. MArg'ret doth muse how she so fat becomes That eats but once a day to wit all day Her Brests like Balloons like Globes her Bums One sleep serves her all night that is to say All night she sleeps she snores she farts past care Thus fares it with our Margaret or great Mare Of Lying Robbin RObbin his Lies are not pernicious Lies But pleasant Fictions hurtful unto none But to himself for no man counts him wise To tell for truth that which for false is known He swears that Gaunt is threescore miles about And that the Bridge at Paris on the Sein Is of such thickness length bredth throughout That sixscore Arches can it scarce sustain He swears he saw so great a dead mans Skull At Canterbury digg'd out of the ground That would contain of Wheat three Bushels full And that in Kent are twenty Yeomen found Of which the poorest ev'ry year dispends Five thousand pounds These a thousand mo So oft he hath recited to his Friends That now himself perswades himself 't is so But why doth Robbin tell his Lies so rife Of Bridges Towns and things that have no life He is a Lawyer and doth well espy That of such Lies an Action will not lie Faults in Foreheads IF each ones Faults were in his Forehead writ Lives onely would be read the rest rejected Nor Hats nor Bonnets then would eas'ly fit And lowest foreheads would be most respected The holy Hermit would be apprehended Of Crimes unthought of till we read 'em there Reputed Virgins would Thirteen once ended In Colours full of Guiltiness appear Nor I my self that should my self know best Nor thou dear Mistress be at all exempted We should be both on many tongues profest Thou for thy yielding I for having tempted But why should'st thou one fault for me avow Thy fautls are written in thy Husbands Brow A Scotch Song 1. I Needs must gang a Wooing I can no longer stay For Jinny is marr'd for doing Some Loon will steal her away 2. I VVou'd not for a world Leuse her gude companie For I have guds enough To maintain her and I. 3. A lang long live-long day Is aul too little for me To reckon up what I ha To derive my Pertigree 4. Feth Jocky thou art to bleam I dare both say and swear I se ne'er come at thee agen Till I know thy guds and thy geer 5. I have an awd Mear of mine awn She 's twenty year awd and sean She cost me twenty good Placks And now she 's well worth elean 6. I have three dozen of Buttons Gude Brass and all in a string With a dainty Cale Whittle beside And a brave Curtain-Ring 7. I ha three shoes for a feut And twa o' them want soles With a dainty left-feut Beut And thrutteen dozen of holes 8. The Grains of a Fire Pore in The Rim of a Spinning-Wheel An old Huke for an Elsing-Haft A Spindle a Rock and a Reel 9. I have a gude Hank of Yarn 'T is three year since it was spun With a pair of Socks for a Barn And an end of awd Pipe Bum. 10. My Granny she gave me a Hickle And Jinny I give it to thee