he is the self same thyng with another And god doth saye y t the wife with her husband is al one thing And Cicero to cōfirme kepe amitie geueth this counsel that the inferior shuld ascend the superior descend for so y t things may be brought to equalitie But in matrimonye this nedeth not for it is sufficiente both for y t man the wyfe to perceyue vnderstand that they are parte eche of others bodye And therefore to be fayre or foule ryche or poore noble or ignoble whole or sicke wyse or folyshe is nowe throughe the operation and work of God the which hath made them bothe one common vnto them bothe Nor there shall neuer be true and cōtinual loue except it be stablyshed vpon those thynges that remayne after death For beauty ryches kinred suche other haue their tyme some appoynted by nature some by fortune other humaine chaūces Thei haue also their sacietie in time and place thei are forgotten For we can not at all tymes and seasons remember the Fabians the Cornelians and that we receyued a greate dowrye The affection with the tyme doth waxe feble cold and the plentifulnes and vse of that that a man dyd gredely fyrst desyre doeth cause him to lothe it Al these thinges do diminishe loue certē of thē do vtterly extinguishe it the which if it had bene in the mind in vertue shoulde haue continued for euer For vertue is euer at hand neuer ydle neuer vnprofitable nor voide but alwayes working Nor y t soule of mā by y e death of the bodye doeth not die so that we may beleue that thei whiche be departed doe loue all suche as in thys worlde were deare vnto theym and that they whyche loued the Soules of those whyche bee departed and deliuered from the bodye do loue them not as deade but as they loue their frendes y t which are absent farre frō them And therfore we do see many women that kepe their fayth loue vnto their firste husbandes as did Demotions the Ariopagites doughter of the which S. Hierome doth write agaynste Iouiniane the whiche after that her spouse Leostenes was deade woulde mary with none other saying that she should marry an aduouterer no husband for although he wer departed yet he was aliue vnto her And so sayd that womā of Rome And how sharpely wittelye doth Lucane bring in Cornelia Scipio Metellus doughter and Pompeus last wife taking and esteminge her selfe but as an harlot as touchinge Iulia hys first wife as though the knot and band of matrimonye and loue did yet indure bet wixte the liuing and deade And naturally euery man desireth to be loued and doth searche for the fauour of other men and studieth to kepe to encrease those thinges that cause hym to be in fauour If thy wife do perceaue that thou art rauished and taken with her beau tie and would that thou shuldest loue her she wil do al her diligence to encrease augmente it yf with her communication she will neuer cease pratling yf with her vertue she wil dayly labor howe in all honest vertuous dedes she maye be better By as one of the seuen wise sage men of Grece gaue this one precept rule of loue Loue so sayth By as y t thou mayste hate and hate y t thou mayst loue I can not saye whether this wyse man doth more folowe the figure of wordes then y t truth of the sentence inasmuche as he dothe teache that no man shuld be to other nother faith full frende nor enemye And therefore Cicero doeth saye full truelye that all amitye and frendshyppe shoulde decaye yf a manne shoulde loue so that he maye hate What shoulde he truste then what shuld he beleue or to whome shoulde he open hys mynde or how shuld he loue him tru ly and with al his heart whē he may coniectute and thynk that in time to come he wil be or may by his enemy surelye he will drawe backe and prouide agaynst such thinges as may fortune chaunce And therefore this sentence maye thus more cōuenientlye both for the vse of nature of this life be turned Loue neuer to hate but hate to loue when time shal be Euery man shuld loue his frend simply but speciallye his wyfe And forasmuche as loue other affectes are named of the Philosophers Habitus the whiche are conserued and kept in vs through time operation and labour we muste euen at the beginning geue our diligēce that all iniuries and offences maye be auoyded for as Plutarke doth saye tender softe loue is sone broken Therfore that newe loue coniunction of the mind must be nourished with benigne swete gentle conuersation vntil it be so increased fastened y t no great storme be able to dissolue or breake it And al suspitiō must be at all times but specially at the beginning of matrimony auoyded lest thou firste begin to hate or euer thou beginne to loue And beware thou fayne it not nor conceaue it of no light occasions coniectures for vnto suche thou shouldeste geue no eare although there were great apparence liklyhode Ther is no man so well fashioned and brought vp that can satisfye all men and he that was able to auoyde the faute was not able to auoyde suspition for y e iudgementes of men are free and licentious they do interprete y t they see and heare not after the truth but after their affections and the coniecture that they do fayne reioyce in vnto the whiche some do geue more credite then some Pansanias in platose Simpose doth put two Venus two loues a heauenly and an earthly The earthly is blind abiect vyle fyithye and occupyed aboute vile and filthye thinges neuer lokynge vp to thinges of more worthines But that celestiall and heauēly loue doth see most cleare lye folowyng vertue those thynges whiche are mooste beautifull and moost lyke vnto heauenlye thinges Those husbandes that loue the beau tye or the ryches of their wiues are blynde and subiecte to that earthly loue not perceauinge the reason nor yet the measure therof But thei whiche are true husbandes loue the soule and vertue and haue a iudgemente in loue and beyng inspired wyth the strengthe and spirite of that celestiall loue do loue wyselye for pure and holye loue dothe not vyolentlye compel them as that doeth whyche is earthlye but prudentelye doth guyde and conduct thē gently perswaded to y e place they shuld go vnto The wise husbande doth loue his wyfe feruentlye but yet as the father loueth his sonne y e head the body the soule the fleshe and as Christe dothe loue his churche thus must the husbande the wife loue eche other Nature it felfe dothe teache vs this they lykewise that are learned in diuine letters do tel vs y e same Adam was firste created like vnto
iudged and then embraced y t thinge with loue or with hatred auoyded the same the whiche yf man ought to do in choosynge of frendes howe much more diligently ought it to be done in the choyse of a wife the principal of al amitie and frendshippe whose name among al other in beneuolēce and loue is most dearest Epictetus a philosopher of y e secte of Stoickes doth saye that euery thing hath his eare so that yf thou take holde there at thou mayst vse it most hādsomely cōmodiously True wisdome is to knowe the nature of euery thinge and the vse therof Yf thou whē thou takest a wife wouldest thynk vpon thy children and howe thou mayeste liue with thy wife thou canste not lightlye fayle in the choyse of her the whiche as Zcnophon dothe write in his Economica maketh very much for the felicitie or misery of mā For how much y e more a thinge is vnited knit vnto man so much the more it may helpe him yf it be good or hynder him yf it be euill Those dāmages hurtes which are inwardly in y e body are worse thē those which are without those of y e soule then those of y e body likewise menne do iudge of those thinges which are called good But peraduēture it shall appeare vnto some that these thinges are not vniuersally true for vnto some the losse of their goodes is more thē y e losse of their helth But this thing doeth not arise or happen of the treasure or moneye it selfe but because they perswade vnto them selues y t to loose theyr treasure is a thing intolerable therfore the goodes are not of more estimation then is helth but thaffection doth rule in thys thing And therfore it semeth lesse to some to be dreuen out of his kingdom then to other some to loose a small portion of his patrimony Some wil reuēge a word most cruelly and some other wel buffeted and beaten wil not reuēge it at al. All these thinges do pro cede come of y e soule y e whiche as most inwardly loyned knit vnto man hath more power in him then the bodye yea as Plato thinketh then man him selfe If it be then of so great importaunce what maner of frende thou haue to liue cōmodiously or ineōmodi ously withal the whiche shall none otherwise dwell nor be in the selfe same chāber bed nor house with the but that thou mayest shake him of at thy pleasure how much more then oughteste thou to take hede when thou choosest thee a wife the which must cōtinually be conuersaunt with the at thy table in thy chamber in bed in thy secretes and finally in thy heart and breste If thou go from home thou dost cōmit thy house thy fami lie thy goodes and thy chyldren of all other thinges the most pleasaunt vnto her she is the last that leaueth the at thy departing the first that receaueth thee at thy returnynge thou departest frō her with swete embracementes kisses and with swete kysses and embracemētes she receaueth thee vnto her thou disclosest thy ioye and heauines It is an heauenlye lyfe to be conuersaunte in companye with those that a man delyteth in and loueth But it is a calamitie infernal to be streyghted to se those thinges y t a man doth hate or to be in cōpanye with those that a man woulde not be withall and yet can not be separated nor depart from them Of this co meth as we do see in dinerse mariages so greate ruine so facinorous and filthy dedes maymes murders committed by such desperate per sons as they are loth to kepe yet can not lawfully refuse nor leaue thē Therfore in ma riage there are two wayes y e one leadeth a mā to miserye the other to felicitie In the beginning of these thou must diligently deliberate cōsult with thy selfe as Prodigus the Sophist doth saye in the first booke of Zeniphons cōmentaris y t he caused Hercules to take auysmēt whether he shuld folow vice or vertue And in asmuche as it is a matter of great weyght importaūce let it not be greuous vnto y t reader to reade it for it shall not greue me to declare open the thing more copiously clerely And seing y t electiō or choyse is nothinge els but to take a thing mete cōuenient to the ende it is prepared for therfore euery one y t must choose ought to regard the end know what thinge is cōuenient for it It is nede ful also y t he be prudente and wise for els he cānot dispose it nor perceaue what is cōmo dious mete for y t end Nor wisdom is not obtayned nor gottē but by the knowledge vse experiēce of thinges not by folowing of y e affectiōs the which do diminish mans iudgemēt Ignoraūce the troublesōnes of the mind is y e very cause y t yongmen iudge not thinges so wel as old mē do they knowe not the businesse of mans lyfe and beyng but new and rawe in al thinges they are sone deceaued stird with affections theyr mindes by so obfuscate and cloudye that they can not see what is right nor how thinges ought to be done and ordred Therfore the yonge mā shuld leaue the care of this electiō to his parentes y t whiche haue better iudgement are more free from the agitations and motions of al affections then they are And inasmuche as they do loue their childrē excedingly they wold that their children shoulde be none otherwise coūseled thē thēselues for the father as it nath bene sundry times by manye examples declared doth in a maner loue his childe more then he loueth hym selfe The yonge man muste take hede that folowyng the light iudgement of his owne affection mind he chaunge not a short delectation plea sure into a continuall repentaūce We do learne by great continuall vse experience of thinges y t the secrete contractes of matrimonye made betwene those that be yong are seldom fortunate lucky and feawe to be vnlucky that are made and stablished by their frendes and parentes Al the old mariages of the Ie wes and gentiles were made after this forme and maner The parētes by theyr owne aucthoritye did intreate and finishe vp the matter among them selues nor it was not lawful for their childrē to dissent or to go backe frō y e thing y t their parentes had accōplished and done And yet they are to be admonished to haue an eye and a diligent regard 〈◊〉 marying of their children y t it may be to their great qui etnes and that they asmuch as may be possible may lyue in iocunditye and pleasure They muste not haue before their eyes these vayne foolishe honours nor the enuious and vnsure power nor y e vnquiete factions nor riches the which vnto olde men are wont to be moste
thee the more bitterly hate thee howe muche her first husband then thou dyd more commodiously and gently vse her But she y t shal come laden to the w t childrē shal rob thee gather to enriche her owne withall She wyll not loue thy chyldren nor yet equallye those which are common betwene you but shal haue compassion vpō the fatherles being destitute of al fatherlye helpe and com forte In her that was corrupte men must consider the lyfe that is paste for of these ther are two periculous kindes for thou shalte heardlye perswade her that was common or her that hathe haunted the companye of greate men or her the whiche they haue loued to be continente for it would be heard for her that was wonte and accustomed to be a maistres ouer great men to serue him that is so farre vnder those which wer her seruātes And how soeuer she shal find the she wil not beleue that al other wold haue ben as thou art but shal lament that so vnluckedly she came was maried vnto the. I wold not counsel y t to mary her w t whome thou hast bene in amors withal whom thou flatterdest whome thou didst serue whom thou calledst thy hart thy life thy maistres thy light thy eyes w t other suche wordes as foolishe loue doth perswade vsinge impietie agaynst god which is y t ende of al desire goodnes Thys submission is shoulde be the cause y t she doth not regard y t but disdayneth to serue thee whose ladye she was as she estemed whō she foūd more obedient vnto her euen with y t peril daunger of life thē a ny other slaue y t was bought for monie Thus it appeareth it is not conuenient y e the seruaunt should rule y e maistres for after y t loue hatred reuerence contempt feare hath once occupied the mind of mā they leaue certayne cōtinuall markes the which y e Grekes call Hexis the Latins Habitus Great noble men do alwayes honour their pedagoges maisters that for the reuēce they bare thē of youth do feare them notwithstan ding they be their subiectes haue the aucthoritie power in their hand bothe of life and deathe And the prouerbe doth saye that whoso marieth for loue dothe liue in sorow I wold y t the flame whiche was kindled did burne before they were married after they were married waxed cold agayne might be renued perpetual pure liuelye Thou seeste nowe howe great prudency wisdome is necessary to discerne iudge these thinges and how necessary it is to counsel with him whose motions of the minde are quiete that they begile thee not Let no man trust to obtayne a wife y t shal haue no incommoditie nor faute but yet the fewer y t she hath shall be in stede place of her mani fold great vertues But he y t is wise wil learne take cō sel by such thinges as be present And forasmuch as those thinges which be meane are almost infinite there cā be no vniuersall forme nor rule genen of them therfore wisdō is present at hand the which is not geuen but with preceptes ayded holpen to admonish men of y e same I haue as for an example writtē the thinges matters aforesaid In the deliberation of matrimony this must be inuiolably obserued y t we folow not the iudgement of oure owne senses nor eyes the whiche are sone rauished and deceaued with beautie nor of the eares the which take pleasure in elo quence nor of the motions of the mynde wherewith men are ledde other to kinred or els to moneye or riches the whiche all throughe their instabilitye aboundaunce or sacietye do brynge wyth them swyfte sodaine repentance And therefore al thinges are to be reuoked called to that supreme and exact iudgemēt of the mind Thou shalt take hede that on thy part the wo man nother in body nor in sub stāce be not deceaued for thou shalt neuer vse her cōinodiously and as thou wouldest thy selfe whome thou fraudulent ly deceytfully diddest intice wind vnto thee for natural ly we hate him as an enemy y t doth begile vs nor nothynge doth displease a manne more then to lacke the thinge he loked for It were better to disclose vnto her thy vices infirmities the mediocrity and meanes of thy goodes substance with the perill of y e losse of her then to obtayne her w t fraude sure discord Sergius Galba his father y t was Empe rour playde as it is written the parte of a wise of an honest man for when Liuia Occel la that beautifull riche woman was in loue with him he put of his clothes secretlye did shew her that he was bro ken backte the which simple gene rositie did so contente please her that she regarded not the blemishe of his bodye but loued and honoured him more thē euer she did before Many men are wont to saye y t they will rule their wiues whatsoeuer they be or howsoeuer they came by thē and that it is in the hande and power of the husband what and of what conditions she shall be Certes a greate parte of this doth rest lye in the husband so that he as he oughte to do do vnderstand that ma trimonye is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and that it farre differreth from tiranny the which doth compell men to obeye Truly it compelleth the bodye but not the will in the whiche all loue and amitie do the onelye consist the which yf it be drawen dothe resiste and bowe lyke a palme tree as naturall Philosophers do wryte to the contrarye parte Nor thou shalte not beleue that there canne be anye maryage or concorde where they agree not in wyil and minde the whyche twoo are the beginning seate of all amitie frendship And they that do auaunce thinke thē selues able to rule their wiues by that time they haue proceded and gone a litle further they shall feele perceaue thē selues begiled find y t thyng to be most hard intractable the whiche to be done they estemed most light and easye Some there be y t through euyll and roughe handelynge and in threatenynge of their wiues haue them not as wiues but as seruauntes And yet surelye they are but very fooles that iudge matri mony to be a dominion And such as woulde be feared do afterwardes lamente complayne that they find no loue in them whose loue amite through their owne importu nitie thei turned into hatred And at y e beginnynge glorifiing craking thus cruelly to be their wiues maisters thei purchase vnto them selues a most miserable alamentble life in time to come beinge nowe y t all loue pleasure is caste a side enuironed with feare suspition hatred so row Truly yf a man as nature
come as wel as men vnto the beatitude and therfore they ought shulde be instructed taught as we men be And that they are no better it is our falt inasmuch as we do not our duetyes to teache them If the husbande be y e womans head the mind the father Christ he ought to execute the office to suche a man belongyng to teache the woman for Christ is not onelye a sauiour and a restorour of hys churche but also a Mayster The father oughte to nouryshe and to teache hys chyldren And what neede is it to reason of the mynde and of the heade In the mynde is wytte coun sell and reason In the head are all the senses wherwyth we doe guyde and rule thys lyfe and therefore he doeth not hys duetye that doeth not instructe and teache hys wyfe And the selfe same Socrates doeth saye that menne shoulde be ruled by Pnblyke and commune lawes and womenne by theyr owne hnsbandes And Paule forbyddynge womenne to speake in the Congregation and commaundynge that they yf they doubted of anye thynge shoulde aske theyr husbandes at hooine doeth bynde theim to teache theyr wyues To what effect or purpose shoulde she aske her husbande that he nother wyll nor can teache her O howe great warres hath there bene made for women We take great payne and laboure to see y t they lacke nothinge and that oure doughters maye haue a conuenient dowrye and yet we flee and auoyde the easye workes by the whiche they maye be the better for yf they were so theyr flagitiousnes shoulde not cause vs to warre nor they beynge contente with a lytle shoulde neede nothyng but alure many to loue them with y e beautifulnesse of their vertue A woman after my iudgement oughte to knowe her selfe of what begynnyng she was made of and to what ende what the order and vse of thynges be and speciallye what Christes religion is without the whiche nothing can be well done nor iustlye But yet it muste be religion no superstition to the ende she maye knowe what difference there is betwene them Religion doeth make them verye simple and good and superstition verye hypocrytes molestious And thus shall she perceyue and vnderstande in what thynges true religion doth consiste how they shoulde honoure God loue theyr neyghboure and thereby knowe howe she oughte to loue and honor her husbande whome she shoulde take as a diuine and a holye thyng obey his wyl as the lawe of God Her house shall be vnto her as a common wealth and she muste learne what her duetye office is at home what is her husbandes There are two principal vertues of a woman the religion of nature chastitie althoughe that religion doe coÌ„prehend all vertues But we wyll seperatlye and exactlye geue preceptes of chastitie for it muste be the chastitie of the wise virgyns not of the folyshe She must know that shamfastnes is coupled with chastitie take heede to her good name fame that in all places she may be vnto y e lord a good sauour to y t example quietnes of her husband and how proÌ„pt ready the coÌ„mon sort of people be to iudge euil and with what diligence thei do nourish teach theyr children She must learne also to contemne worldly chaunces that is she muste be somwhat manly strong moderatly to beare suffer both good euil lest y t she being vnmete to suffer aduersite be coÌ„strained other to do or to thinke wickedly If she caÌ„ not read these thinges nor yet by Nature learne them for there be also such men her husband muste so familierlye and playnelye teache her that she maye remembre theym and vse them when nede shall require Let her heare those that doe reade and speake of such thin ges yf she can reade lette her haue no bookes of Poetrye nor suche tryfelynge bookes as we haue spoken of before for nature is ynoughe inclined to noughtines although we put not fier to towe And Seneca doth saie that the time is shorte althoughe it be all spente in well doynge Such vertuous and holy bokes as may learne her to be wyse inflame her to liue vertuouslye muste be delyuered vnto her wherein yet a certayne iudgemente and prudencye muste be vsed that is that they delyuer her no vayne no chyldyshe no barbarous nor no superstitious bookes Likewise she shal not be med linge with those curious and depe questions of diuinitie y t which thinge besemeth not a woman And as concerning morall Philosophie those religious vertuous bokes do suffise for vertue doth teache vs all good fashions and maners But yet yf we wil or in tende priuately to teache theÌ„ any customes let theÌ„ be suche as shal stirre prouoke them to liue wel vertuouslye and suche as be farre froÌ„ al conten tion altercation wher vnto womenne are but to much of theÌ„ selues inclined Let her read many thinges to subdue bring vnder the affections to appeace and pacifie the teÌ„ pestes vnquietnesses of the minde A woman hath verye great nede of this moral part of philosophi in y t which these auctours are excellent Plato Cicero Seneca and Plutarche And in this thinge those writers do helpe that declare the notable examples of vertue worthy to be ensued folowed as Valerius Maximus Sabellicus and in like maner the lau dable workes of the holy and vertuous men of oure re ligion and likewise of those that haue folowed the worldly wis dome Aristotle and Zenophon do write how men shuld rule gouerne their house and fa mily of the educatioÌ„ bringing vp of childreÌ„ Plutarche lately Paulus Vergerius Francis Philelphe There are annexed vnto these thinges certayn preceptes and rules of a quotidiane a dayly life of simple medicines for y e lighte inâ—irmities of yong childreÌ„ y t which haue no nede to hire any phisitions I do remeÌ„ber y t I haue already in other places written of these thinges yet it shal not be withoute a cause here to write somwhat of theÌ„ again for it perteyneth to the husband to see y t these thinges be done And I doo thinke y t with this the womaÌ„ be sufficiently ynough instructed to liue coÌ„modiously religiouslye But yf she delite to read verses prepare her these thristeÌ„ poetes Prudentius Aratus Sedulius Iuuencus other in Latin or els in their vulgare natiue language And as for the knowledge of grammer logike histories the rule and gouernaunce of the common welth the arte mathematical they shalleaue it vnto meÌ„ Eloquence is not conuenient nor fitte for women although the Cornelians of the Graccis the Mutians y e Lelians and the Hortentians be much coÌ„mended nor y t because they spake many thinges eloqueÌ„tlye but because they spake a fewe thinges purelye incorruptlye nor they neuer learned that arte but receaued it by y t
tēperā cie of mind is most aproued most effectuous as whē thou she west thy selse to be moued wyth the greatnesse of the faulte not for any disdaine nor to satisfye and contente thine affections but to amēd her whome thou rebukest Thou muste obserue bothe tyme and place leaste that throughe feruentnes of reprehention thou bespot thy wyfe and cause thy chaunces to be openlye knowen to straungers and other thy familiars whereby in tyme to come thy wyfe shall continuallye hate thee Be not longe angry leaste y t thy desperate wyfe fall headlonge into vice and noughtynes The apostle sayth ye husbandes loue your wyues and be not bitter vnto theym And yf the lorde forbyd vs to be angrye wyth oure brother howe muche y e lesse ought we to be angrye with our wyues the which exceade all brotherlye loue and beneuolence as we haue tolde you before and it is meate it be often times repeted And yf manne be the head of the woman Christe the head of the man he must vse hym selfe vnto the womanne as Christe doeth vse him selfe vnto us that is beniglye and frendelye And the selfe same Apostle doeth call the womanne the bodye of the manne as the churche is the bodye of Christe And not wythstandynge we sustayne and suffer manye incommodities of the bodye yet we hate it not but suffereth it nourysheth it and gouerneth it The husbandes reprehention muste be short for yf it shoulde continue hatred would ensue the whiche woulde coule matrimoniall loue kyndle disdayne and chaunge the swetenesse of theyr conuersation into bytternes Furthermore thou muste alledge the reason and cause that moueth thee to rebuke her that bothe nowe and in tyme to come she may be admonished The force and strengthe of reason hath great power in the mynde of man nor there is nothynge that so cleaueth vnto it nor lesse penetreth the same as thys sentence Thus I wyll and thus I commaunde Thou muste so rebuke her that she maye perceyue it to procede come of good loue to make her better and to be without vice or faulte y t the loue whiche is betwene you maye be the more feruēt and without anye quarel or complaynt at al. Therfore assone as thou hast chastened corrected her and that she other by worde honeste shamefastnes or silence doeth declare that she wyll obey thee geue her then fayre wordes again and a gentle countenaunce as thou waste wonte to doe Ther are in noble women as ther is among men certayne excellente motions of the mynde the whyche to those that be not wyse and doe marcke the thynge but slenderlye seme to come of arrogancye and pryde Nor these ought not vtterly to be kept vnder and cleane extinguished for without theym they canne not approche nor come to that hyghe and memorable ornament that exciteth and moueth man to maruaile and to prayse extolle them Such affections of the mind are apte meete to conserue and kepe the honestye chastitie of women Such noble women shuld not be greuously or sharpely reprehēded or rebuked but drawen frō vice other by y e example or vertue of such women as be gone alreadye or of those that they were aquaynted wyth all or elles by puttynge theym in remembraunce of theyr olde vertue and godlye lyuynge To some woman a becke of her husbande is sufficient to declare y t there is somewhat amisse y t displeaseth him and specially yf she beare her hus bād any reuerēce An honest matrone hath no nede of any greter staffe but of one worde or one sowre coūtenaunce of her husband But where y t this can not helpe but that brawling staues acre must nedes be vsed I geue no pre ceptes nor rules for there they vse violence but yet by mine aduice the husband shal neuer come to y t extremitye for yf thy wife be often rebuked will not bowe but waxeth more stiffe croked yet inasmuche as she kepeth her selfe pure chaste she must be supported and borne withal Nor the bow must not be bro ken with to muche bendynge therof Thus dyd Socrates forbeare his wife Xantippa whom we should folow yf we wer so wvse as to thinke that our pacience by reason of the womā is exercised proued to y e augmentation increase of vertue as Iob Toby did to theyr great profite and to the womans rebuke shame as y t lord whensoeuer it shall be wyl declare iudge aswel of the one as of the other Also he must thinke that she fell vnto him by lotte as his kinred hys countrey hys body hys soule and hys wyt dyd wherwith euery man ought to holde hym contente thynkynge with him selfe that the omnipotente and euerlasting God doeth dispence and order al thynge moste wyselye and moste iustelye Finallye it is meete and conueniente that the authoritye of God whyche coupled theym together shoulde sette them at one yf they were out agre thē And what man durste be so bolde to breake the peace that the king hath made Or who wolde reiect him that by some noble man was cōmaun ded deliuered vnto him yf in thys thyng the reuerence that we haue and beare vnto those whyche are of greate power be of suche force and strengthe or elles loue it selfe howe muche shoulde it be towardes god for who is so mighty or so louinge vnto vs as he him we shuld reue rence loue aboue all other thinges Also he ought to remēber what Paule sayeth y e the wife the husband are al one flesh Of y e body do come continually many incōmodities but yet no manne dothe hate it but to his power doth nourish it yf at any time he be miscontent there with by and by he pleaseth it agayne Such like loue shuld euerye man beare his wise and this after the minde of y e Apostle ¶ Of the proceding and going forwardes in matrimony AFter y e thou haste had experience of thy wife y u oughteste to loue her more tenderlye And nature doth induce a man to that y t which doth make swete familiar and customable thinges be thei neuer so sharpe or greuous for the vse continuall cōpany doth so establishe and cōfirme loue beneuolence y t we vpon that occasion doe loue dogges cattes horses other brute beastes and do mourne sorow their death and absence And what thing is lesse conueniente for a wise a well nourtred man then not to loue his wife whose cō pany he hath so longe so familiarly vsed Meleager Oeneus sōne being both angry w t him selfe all hys sat him downe in his chamber The Curetes whiche made warre agaynst the Calidonians assayled the citie molested them so sort that ther was no hope nother in man nor woman The elders of y t citie came vnto Me leager the only saue garde of al the countrey desiryng
vs shal knitte couple thē selues in good loue charitie In matrimony there chaunce many casualties as pouertie infamie enprisonmente banishement sicknesses the whiche are rōinon to all men and yet may touche onelye the one of thē which are married not offende the other as yl thy fa ther in law of whom thou lokedst to haue had a great inhe ritaūce had lost all his goods and wer defamed wherwith his daughter also were somwhat bespotted falsely conuicted of some crime imprisoned or banished the citie or fallen into some disease or sickenes But as concernynge thys thing I wil only say as nature doeth prescribe determine it for god doth commaūde vs to beare such good wyll and mind vnto other as we wuld desire they should beare vnto vs nor that only in thys greate coniunction of soule and bodye but also vniuersallye vnto all menne Supporte and suffer thou thy wyues mischaunces as she oughte to suffer thyne for matrimoniall loue should haue euerye thynge so mixte and myngled that they shoulde not saye thys is myne and thys thyne but that all thynge as profyte and disprofyte good and badde shoulde be common And yf ye be one and not two then canne not she be sycke and diseased but that thou muste nedes be sycke with her nor she poore and thou ryche The whyche thynge canne not chaunce amonge frendes howe shall it happen then where is so greate and so faste a knotte and coniunction both of mynde and of loue A sure and a true frende sayeth Ennius is in a thinge vncertayne Her syckenes and afflictions shall declare howe well thou dydst loue her when she was in healthe And folowyng the instincte of Nature and the commaundemente of God thou shouldest iudge her to be euen one thynge with thy selfe and her body consumed w t sicknes to be thy bodye as whē it was most florishing most pleasaūt vnto thine eye and thou shouldest serue and kepe it with no lesse diligence then thou kepest thine owne And as charitie through mer cy should grow increace towardes thy selfe thy chyldren so should loue teach thee to do towardes thy wyfe tru ly louing her as thy selfe and as thyne owne proper chyldren wherby she being diseased or troubled by fortune shalbe vnto thee more derely beloued then euer she was in her moste floryshyng estate and condicion women haue their certaine smal debates enuye and theyr diuers disdaynefulnesses and hatredes the whiche of verye lyght occasions and causes do spryng and ryse sodenlye as of suche whose iudgemētes are weake and feble but with suche matters men of grauitie oughte not to medle They haue like wyse theyr proper ambition and pride bothe in worde and place and whether they sit or goe But yet the husbande shal not encrease these thynges nor shewe hymselfe a minister nor a reuenger of her complaintes and sorowes be cause she was not honoured nor taken after her wyll and pleasure but rather to laugh at them and contempne thē callynge moste diligently vpon her to see to other thinges of moore importaunce profite For suche as doe medle or trouble them selues with suche lyght folishe matters are more mete to weare womēs apparell garmentes to spynne then to weare a berde or to be estemed or taken for a man Make such mē rulers of cities seing thei are so vnapte to rule gouerne their owne familie and housholde What thinge is there moore vnmete for a manne then to moue or to trouble hym selfe w t the lyght appitites fonde lustes of women ¶ What vtilities and profites the mutuall loue of those whyche are marryed doeth brynge IT can not be wel rehearsed nor told how manye vtilites and profites this concorde doeth brynge to great thynges bothe at home abrode nor how many losses incōmodities do growe of the dissentiō and discorde y t is betwene the good manne and hys wyfe The housholde when theyr maister and theyr mistres are at debate can no otherwyse be in quiet and at reste then a citye whose rulers agre not but when it seeth them in con corde and quietnes then it re ioyseth trustynge that they wyll be euen so vnto them as it perceyueth theym to be amonge thē selues wherin surely thei are not deceyned for yf y t man his wife do benigly gently support intreate one another they learne not to disdayne or for euery light fault to be angrye with theyr seruaūtes or yet for any hous hold words to be vexed or an gry with eche other but to set a syde al hasty and cruel wordes correctiō with all other thinges that procede of a disdaynefull a furious minde And the seruauntes are not onely mery therfore but also they do theyr seruyce y e more obediently gladly shewing reuerence vnto the maiestye that procedeth increaseth of quietnes and concorde For the husband doth defend hys wyues maiesty with loue and beneuolence and the wife her husbandes with honor obedience What shal I neede to saye y t cōcord causeth thē to be estemed wise and honest And they muste nedes be good seynge they haue loued so long together Nor ther can be no longe amitie or frendshyp but betwene those that are good the whiche doe suffer and deuour vp those thynges for the whiche other men leaue forsake amitie and breake of charitie Nor there groweth of none other thyng so great reuerēce maiestie as of the opinion and estimation of ano ther mās goodnes wisdom the which reuerēce is not onlye honoured within the dores but also shyneth and extendeth it selfe into the citie so that he is taken for an honest man and borne to be louing and gentle seing that he loueth so constantly and for a wise man considerynge y e he fo moderatly can handle so di ficulte and hard matters and worthye to rule a common wealth that with such wisdō and iudgement doth rule his owne house and that he may easely conserue and kepe his citezyns in peace and concorde that hathe so well stablyshed the same in hys owne house and familie And on the other syde who thynkest thou wyll beleue that thou arte able to be ruler or to kepe peace and quietnesse in the citye seynge thou canst not lyue peacesably in thyne owne house where thou arte not onelye a Ruler but a Kynge and Lorde of all Leontinus Gorgias the whyche was the syrste that amonge the Greekes was commended for hys eloquence exhortinge the Grekes wyth manye wordes at the playes of Olympe vnto peace and concorde certayne men as it is sayd cryed out saying Let him first be at con corde with his wyfe and hys mayde and then come to persuade counsell vs to peace Ther is no man but wil trust to obtayne that easly the amitie and frendship of so noble so gētle a person whose benelouence gentlenes can not be
lyse A calami tye infernal Two wayes in mariage Election Yong meÌ„ Note The maner of the old mariages The coÌ„moÌ„ people A good wife A good wyfe An euyll wyfe Note Proue xix Eccles. xxvi The nature of man The nature of women ConstaÌ„te women Catharine quene of England Man Sa. viij Note i. Cor. xiij The loquacitie of wemen Cleanlinesse The end of matrimony Note The childe Ephori Note ye yong men Loue. True loue where The thin ges of y t soule and body How the affections maye be knowen Makers of lawes CoÌ„panye MaydeÌ„s The lyfe that is paste Pietie How the worde of god shuld be read Fastyng Dissimulation i. Co. ix Unchasle women Proue xviij What thynges are to be considred in hym y e wyll be maryed Gen. vi Gen. vi A ryche wyfe A craftye wyfe The pore maÌ„s wife Pryde Note ye wemen A liberall woman Liberalitye Note A niggarde An eloqueÌ„t wife Note thys Is it not so Marcus Caro. Note'y e women Pittacus answere Note Deformite The labo rers wife The yeares of ma riage Note thlo custome 1. Cor. 〈◊〉 Luc. ix Tiberius As 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 How notable a thing it is to mary a poore woman Gen. 〈◊〉 Prou. xvij â—arens is a noble citie of Calabria Tyme ExcelleÌ„te good conÌ„sell 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sergius Gal ba Matrimony The nature of a palme tree 〈◊〉 Eph. v. Note He xiij Eph. v. Gen. ij The law of loue is matrimony Gene. 〈◊〉 Note Gene. ij Cap. v. 1. Cor. iij. Ephe. v Loue geneth courage Note this Eph. v. ii co ij Mat. v. Psalm xliiij Eph. v. A frende Gene. ij Vertue Note this ye women By as precepte The beginninge of matrimoniall loue 〈◊〉 loues True hus bandes Gene. ij iij. Loue reuerence What loue is Ueneration Maiestre Fayth Note â—ayth i. pe v. Note A sharpe wyfe 〈◊〉 O fortunate hoâ—â—se Sulpitia Beautye Riches Eloquice Kinred How no bilitie glorye is gotten Prou. xvij Whether it be necessarye that a wo man be â—erned Is it not so Learned women are better then vnlearned Howe greatlye learninge doth helpe man It is the maÌ„s part to teache the woman i. Cor. xiiij The husbaÌ„d must teach the wyfe What thinges women shoulde learne What bo kes womeÌ„ shuld reade Note What 〈◊〉 tes 〈◊〉 shuld read Courtlye doctrine Scilence is conuenient and mete for women The husbandes ex ample Note Two necessarye thinges Themistocles The names of â—â—ble womeÌ„ Familier examples Familier coÌ„munication â—eneration Phil. 〈◊〉 as some do expouÌ„d it i. pe iij. Auoyde curiosite Exo. 〈◊〉 The bondage of Egypte Uncleane iÌ„portes playes ReligioÌ„s of chastisye Shamefastnes Luc. i. Thecause of betrothemeÌ„tes Genesis xxix Hc. xiij i. th iiij Ephe. v Tob. vi â—eastes are lesse Auxnrious then men 〈◊〉 co vij 〈◊〉 Rom. 〈◊〉 Marryed mens sola ces plea sures i. co vij 〈◊〉 co vij Fastyng Prayer Mat. vi Luce. xviij i. co vij Carnall copulatioÌ„ 〈◊〉 Note i. co vij The frutes of a well instructed woman True societie Nothing can be coÌ„pared to a frende CoÌ„mitte thy secretes tohim that is louinge and wise 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Why we shuld not shew our secretes to womeÌ„ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ec ix Policides A fable of a certayne wulfe A noble sayinge The kno wledge of y t lawe of God Gene. i. Gen. ii The authoritie of the man and wife Diuers countrics diuers maners The thin ges geuen by nature to man woman The wife hath the rule of the Kitchen Fortune Playe To goe forth 〈◊〉 tim v i. Ti. v. The custome of flanders Psalm xvij Auoyde euill com pany Note i. co xv Note yongmen Fame Eubolus Disclose not the secretes of matrimonye pro. xiij Prayse not thy wyfe to muche Mat. vi Gen. iij O how necessary were he in these our dayes Note ye women The dauÌ„ gers that come of gaye appa rel And is it not so nowe ☞ Example and emulation i. co 〈◊〉 A womaÌ„s true ornamentes and apparell The com modity of simple aâ—â—ye The duetie of a christen man Luc. 〈◊〉 Note Gelosye A notable historye The tres passes of matrimo nye mat xix The miserable estate of women Ro. xv 〈◊〉 Auâ—thâ—â—â—tie Approued repre hention Col. iij. Mat. v. Eph. v. Eph. v. Reason Note ye husbandes Iob. 〈◊〉 Tob. 〈◊〉 Ephe. v Meleagers loue towardes hys wyfe Masuissa kinge of Numidiâ— Malice The propertie of the mynt The causes why the husbaÌ„d shuld loue hys wyfe The husbaÌ„d must loue hys wyues kinsfolk ChauÌ„ces Luc. vi 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Note Leon-tinus Crates Note i. Re. i. The merites of this life Gc. xxi Math. xxij The remeÌ„brauÌ„ce of y e wife Note ye husbaÌ„ndes A fond 〈◊〉 quest of many hus bandes