Yeâ— should I chuse a freind a Courtyer than I would make â—hoise-of fore another man By this example I will plainelie proue That like to courtyers none doe truelie loue Like to apparrell they doe loue theire freind To what like that doe they theire loues extend Like cloathes they loue theire freindes why that is true Iust like em cause they nere loue cloathes but newe Pack hence for such loue should I find of you Allexander NAie fye Diogynes you cann yf list Forbeare to plaie this crabb-sowre satirist I pry thee Cynnick broach thy milder braine And let thy wordes runn in a sweeter vaine In others natures too too much you markst Against theire faultes too rusty â—ond you barkst I doe dislike it I I pry thee cease thou d'st gaine more loue yf thou didst hold thy peace Turne courtyer man come be thou pollitick wise He best wynns loue that best cann sooth-vp vice Diogynes THen I le ' wynn hate nor King nor Clowne I le ' spare Yf they with vices vennym poysned are Yf with Prides swellinge tympany I fynd Theire hartes are once puft-vp I le speake my mind Let 's pate be crownd with hundred thowsand crownes Lett cruell deathe succeed his wrathfull frownes Yet yf in him loathd filthie synns I see Hee shall not in them sooth'd-vp-be by mee I cannot soothe I am not that waies wiâ—e Who liveth not in vertue dies in vice Allexander THou sayst well Cynnick for I hold this race Of oyld-tongu'd flattrers to be dangerous base The cankerd rust doth not the Iron frett Soe faste as these doe in good natures eate The statelie oake a longer tyme would liue Yf to the Ivie he noe truste did giue But as the Ivie ' ' boute the oake entwyndes To worke his fall so 't fares with flattrers mindes But whether in discourse shall our tongues walke I came not here of court affaires to talke I came to see thy manner kind of life And t' aske thee why thou getst thee not a wife Faith gett thee one I would not lie alone Yf all the world could but afford mee one Diogynes A wife why for my life I cannot see Howe man with woman euer should agree When men goe backward and goe downe the wynd It frettes cuttes galles and greiveth sore the mind When women backward growe and downeward goe Theire spleenes with laughter tickles then I trowe Since theire two natures are soe contrarie I muse howe tweene them cann be sympathie A wife oh fellowe tha' rt a younge man yet Ther'e 's much sowre sawce belonges to that sweete bitt Who would be troubled with the yawling noyse Of a harsh-whewling young childes whympring voice Againe to see em fligger smile and plaie Doth make mee greiue as much an other waie When they doe simper I doe sighe for then I mynd the miseries they l see ere men T would cutt my heart to heare a babe crye dadd Oh giue me meate when t is not to be hadd He that doth wiue for pleasures sole intent T is tenn to one but soone he will repent Who would be bound to scrape pinch carke and care For brattes perhapps that gott by others ate Not I I le ' none of this thing cald a wife Let him take one that 's wearie of his life For hee that alwaies will supplies ' wiues lack Must vnto Nature goe for a steele back A wife I le ha noe wife such sprights will frowne Vnles they er'e a non are coinurd ' downe Againe my little Tubb is too too small To hold my wife my selfe and whom shee 'le call It must not be a smale howse that cann hold A silent man ioynd with a shrill-tongud schold Nowe will hir gossipps come then praie nowe where Is roome for them to chatt and make good cheere And nowe hir old-acquainted freind will come Perhapps to see hir when I 'me from my home Then where's my galleree for them to walk Or anie place for old freindes secrett talk Some what perhapps they l ' doe I should not see Where haue I chambers then for them to bee Not in my Tubb my Tubb â—ath nor the scope For hir to gossip't with hir mates I hope Yet though I haue 〈◊〉 wife with hoâ—â— deâ—ire My harte is flamd burnt am I with loues fire A loue I haue to whom I will be true Obserue hir partes I will discribe them you My loues pure white hath ne're sustaind a spot She 's wise â—ood rich faire chaste what is shee not Hlr eyes 1 grace 2 speach 3 hath 1 fir'd amaz'd 2 rauisht 3 My harte 1 sence 2 thoughts 3 with loue 1 wonder 2 delight 3 But fyr'd 1 ' mazd 2 sence-rest 3 I sought 1 prayde 2 and wisht 3 To quenche 1 cure 2 and heale 3 loue 1 sence 2 and eyes3-dymd sight Thus eyes 1 grace 2 speache 3 hath fyr'd 1 amazd 2 sence-charmd 3 My thoughts 1 sence 2 witts 3 with loue 1 with feare 2 vnarmd 3 Oh my loue 's fairelie white without a spott Such is hir hue noe staine hir hue can blott Virtue 's that Dame in hir sweete grace I sitt 'T is shee loues me she'es womans oppositt Could I one headles lymb les corp les see To such a one would I betrothed be For had shee nere a head noe tongue shee l haue Nor corps then I de not dâ—ead the lechrous knaue Nor lymb then should I neuer quiv'ring stand Fearing my eares remembraunce of hir hand Of rope or hangman I was nere afrayde At noe sight quake I but at wife or maide Allexander OH harsh-sowre crabby Cynâ—ick still I see To gentle creatures thou wilt stubborne be If with a girle t hast neuer slept a night Thy soule hath neuer tasted sweete delight Such is the femall sex while wife or maide As of them too much good cannot be saide Methinkes the skipping bloud a Virgins grace Which tripps lavaltoes in each maydens face When mens fowle tongues o're-flowes with ribaldery Should make thee loue maides for theire modestie Diogynes MAydens modest what is this modestie â—f t' is in them it is a vice saie I Vertue in women is as cold as Ice Nothinge is warme in them vnlest be vice Thou art a dunce thou haste noe reatche I see Why Maydes at all tymes cann faine modestee Thei l ' blush as oft while they liue single liues As they will weepe when they be mary'd wiues If t was my liste I could a thowsand name That would yf men talke Ill blush at the same Yâ—t thy themselues their tongues shall nimblie walke Whole nights togeather all in too-broad talk Allexander THou wrongst em soore I doe not think it I That maydens tongues will tripp Immodestlie Diogynes THou doost not doost I prithee think soe still I think thy witt is like a womans will But what thou dost not think I trulie knowe What I haue saide of maydes men shall find â—oe I fellowe fellowe till theire by themsâ—luâ—s Maydes in talke are modest bashfull elues But
beinge from the companie of men The lawes of modestie is broken then T was not longe since I stood to maydens neere But Lord thou 't ne re beleeue what I did heare For onelie that same wench esteemd ' was well Which could the ribauldst dreame relate and tell I could relate all what they did relate But that my tongues disvs'd to such like prate 'T is vild obscene speake younge man wilt you hav 't Allexander COme out with 't Cynnick I knowe thy delight â—s all in all to worke faire woomen spight DIOGINES RELATES the three wanton Sisters wanton dreames Diogynes O Yet the fyer once three maydens satt â—nknowne to them I ouer heard theire chatt Eache with hir tuckt-vp cloathes in pleasing plight Pleasing I meane vnto fond yâ—unge mens sight Satt ore the fyer soe as one might see From slâ—nder foote to round white nimble knee As thus they satt I 'me sure thou doest thinke what When maydes with maydens bee wil be theire chatt Girles quoth the eldest sister what shall 's doe Smal'es my desire vnto my bedd to goe Foâ— yet I never in my couche could fynd A sportiue mate to please my mayden mind Alas alas what pleasure and delight Takes one mayde with an other in the night But smale god knowes it for my owne part I Ne're tooke anie with whom Ie're did lie For loue noe revells in that bedd doth keepe Where one girle by an others side doth sleepe â—or trulye sisters there is none that can Giue maydes delight in bedd but a young man And but in dreame the more vnhappie I I ne're with such a beddfellowe could lie But yet in dreame oh matchles sweete delightes Iv'e lyne and lyne with one whole wynters nightes The greater greife you 'l saie 't was to my mind When I did wake and my selfe single fynd Oh girles it was but sisters I doe see It is with eu'rye mayde as 't is with mee Such are our dreames as wee doe laugh in sleepe But when wee wake againe oh then wee weepe But what shall s ' doe wee 'l not soe soone to bâ—dd Letts rather tell howe ne're wee haue beene spedd Our merry'st dreames come leâ—t vs nowe relate Girles gott with girles their mindes maie freelie prate What though w' are maides here are noe men to heare vs Freelie wee vse to chatt when th' are not nerevs W' are by our selues what ere we talke is well Come let ts drawe lotts which first hir dreame shall tell At which the youngest blushing like a rose Being assignd by lott firste to disclose Begynns to tell howe to hir soules delight Hir sences ravisht ' were the other night THE YOVNGEST Sisters dreame QOth shee on bedds softe downe downe did I lie And sâ—ugd doowne close to haue sleepe close eache eye But ere t would bee I entred in a muse I such a muse as all wee maydens vse I mus'd me thought yf there were sweeter blisse For maydes then 't lie with men to clipp and kisse Me thought I thought this thought fetcht out a groane It was a hell to lie all night alone At which I sight and turning me I wept Desiring what I knowe not till I slept In which my sleepe oh fancies sweete delight Appeard a youth Pheobus was much lesse bright Gold were his lockes firye sparkles were his eyne His browes cheekes and chynn were as louelie fyne I' ns shirte was hee a shirt soe fyne I wynn As one might see what was tweene shirt and skynn His snowe-white armes in-laide with azurd vaine Mixed with crimson dye one might see plaine His full-broade manlie some-what-downye cheste Dale-like indented tweene two mounting brestes On which two prettie frâ—iteles teatlinges grewe Not milkie sweete sweete onelie for the veâ—we I saw's soft slender waste and sisters well nie I fawe what grewe beneathe his plump-round bellie All what I sawe sweete wâ—nches I would tell ye But that sweete loue coniures me here 's ' the spight Not to discribe mans sweetly-sportiue spright Oh sweet's the dreame which yeeldeth such delight But come girles come fye whether doe I roame Me thinkes buâ— coldlie I tooth purpose come To me he came and kiste me too when I Me thought did faine I did a sleeping lie Me thought I lett him kisse and kisse agenn And â—ouche me too maydes maie be toucht by men I sisters faythe me thinkes that maide's vnwise That will in private to hir lâ—ue be nice Two faythfull lovers cannot synn I weene Soe what they doe by others is not seene Nowe would the wagg be stroaking of my face And nowe my pappes anon another place Delighting of himselfe sisters you can Better then I tell what best likes a man But fayth-la girles I cannot chuse but smile I laie as yf I soundlie slept the while Permitting him to please the appetite Of his too too-fond youth-last-burning sight Fayning I soundest slept wheâ— hee did steale To vnhill that which maides should cheifst conceale But when as hee 'd haue come into my bedd The feare I had to loose my maydenhead Awaked me Quoth thother sisters what I hope we maydens least of alâ—feare that Beleeue me quoth the elder girle should I With my sweete-hart on my wedding-night lie And find him drowsie dull like heauie lead Hunting but coldliâ— for a maydenhead T would kill my tender hart t would murder mee The blushing morne I nere should liue to see Oh I should fill the roome with groanes in morne With lookes deiected I should seeme forlorne But when you wakt quoth she chaâ—t you not then Oh noe in that case maides nere chafe with men Though wee seeme angry at there boldest partes Yet seldome comes our anger from our hartes For in loues sporte this is our sexes wyle We'el seeme to frowne when most of all we smile Yet sisters faith quoth shee me thought I wept When I did wake cause I noe longerslept For trath-la girles such pleasure in 't tooke I As in like dreame t would nere greiue me to die Had I a world I d'e givt to learne the skyll Howe I should sleepe and dreame soe at my will Had I that arte that matchles pleasing slyght Fewe daies I d'e haue eache daie I d'e turne to night Lye downe I would lulling my selfe a sleepe Bidding my soule delightfull revells keepe Sild would I wake but alwaies by my will I de sleepe and dreame and be embracing still Nowe second sister wake I praie quoth shee And in your laste nightes dreame come second me THE SECOND SIsters dreame THe second sister some what modest bold Reply'd my dreame partlie by you is told Before you slept me thought I heard you saie You in sweete musinge did a longe tyme laie You muâ—ing sigh'd and sigh'd till sleepe did steale Vppon your mayden eyes their lidds to seale At length you slept and dreamt you sawe your loue A dreame indeed which much vs maydes doe moue You kiste with him but when he 'ed with you lie That made
doe than For enry night i th' yeare I de buy a man For sisters I maie speake to you my mind When I awakt and lookt my loue to find Feeling for 's neck to claspe that neck of his For 's ruddy lipp hoping that lipp to kisse For 's wanton legg for myne with that t'yntwind And sisters for oh girles you knowe my mind When for these louelie thinges I searcht to see Duâ— could not find where those sweet things might be With bitter passion I burst out and cryd Wishinge with in my mothers womhe I d'e dy'd Oh sisters oh sweete sisters then did I Wishe fatall Death attache me instauntlie Nowe did I stare aboute nowe did I call But when noe aunswere I could heare at all Vp in my smock I rose and searcht each place Oh girles extreames our sex in loues sweete case Groping behind eache trunck feeling vnder bedd Me thought for him which had my maydenhead And oft I de crye sweete wagg thy selfe disclose For Iv'e another maydenhead to loose But when noe answere I could heare oh then Weeping I sigh'd and went to bedd agen Wher'e one while tumbling that waie other this Nowe should I sighe nowe my poore pillowe kissâ— Entwinding it betweene my armes embrace I de hug g't as yf my deare duck were in place Fayning in that my frying passions flame I hottlie chaste loues sweetst delightfull game But when I found my sence deluded soe My passions heate to coldnes then did growe For myssing him I grewe more cold then stone Oh't paynes my heart to telt come lett 's be gone Soe vp they rose but er'e they went I rusht From where I stood at which the wantons blusht Nowe sir I hope you see what modest chatt Young maydes will haue when by themselues theire gott Graues swallowe them were all dead I 'de be gladd The best of wiues or maides are worse then badd Allexander COme come Diogenes although those three In private mirthe exceeded modestie Yet you doe Ill t' accuse soe gennerall Cause one is badd therefore must they be all In soe concludinge very Ill you doe Noe man soe gen'rallie concludes but you Diogynes ANd by your leaue sir I l'e conclude soe still Where one of them is good tenn thowsand's Ill What I haue saide I will re-saie agen Wer't not for them oh blessed were we men Into vs men they eate as rust and moathes Eates into Iron and the fynest cloathes Thou seest this riv'led hollowe-eyd face of mine thou dst little thinke it has beene dect-vp fyne And tricklie trym'd-vp in a womans guise Onelie to dive into their knaueries But dust thou heare I speake it to their praise I haue a mary'd wife beene in my daies At least wise like one for th'eâ—le yet confesse They once tooke old Diogines for noe lesse Noe butned dublett on my back I boâ—e A gowne downe to my heeles wif-like I wore And such attire this head of myne did beare As mary'd wiues in those daies vsd to weare Then to my chynn noe briflye haires were knowne Nay'thad not entertayned anie downe But t was soe soft soe sleeâ— as each man sayd When I past by there goes a wife oâ— maide My curled locks hang in a careles guize With which the wynd did plaie in wanton wise Like to a wanton I was trymlie drest But why I was soe there consists the iest Allexander WHy wast thou soe I pry thee Cynnick tell Till thou haste told it I shall nere be well Diogines WHy then be Ill in sooth 't is not my liste To make thee laughe for I 'me a Satyrist Againe thy companie I doe brooke soe Ill As I would haue thee gone had I my will Allexander WHy tel 't mee then and instantlie shalt see I will departe and gett me hence from thee Diogynes ON that condition I will telt why knowe This was the cause I went disguised soe The Dames of Athens merrye wenches be And vnto meetings giv'n-are much you see To gossip't with them I did long time longe To heare the verdict of eache womans tongue For well knewe I when wiues are gott with wiues There 's tryalls to be heard of husbands liues False accusations cruell Iudgments then Vnmercy fullie passe vppon poore men To heare all which tooth hazard of my life I tooke on mee the habitt of a wife And well I womand it when I did walk But when at table I were sett to talk Then did my tongue betraye me for I trowe It prou'd a Iade in pace t' was dull and slowe I mumping satt I could not for my life Make my tongue gallopp like a marry'd wife T was cause I lackt theire arte to spur it vp Euer anan with a full sugerd ' cupp Yet wiud I it the best that I could doe And nowe and then raild on my husband too But marke mee nowe nowe to my tale I goe The Cynnycks discription of the manner of womens gossypping AS at our meate we satt t was hard to knowe Whether our teeth or tongues did fastest goe At tables vpper end in cheifest place Satt maddam Will in reeling drunken case Light in atire shee was shee s womens god They hir true subiects be but she'es mans rodd Nothing by Will at anie tyme is saide But is by wiues and widdowes still obayd VVills Oration SVbiectes quoth maddam Will I here am sett Not alltogeather to se howe you eate Nor came I whollie to participate With this your freelie-spoken merrye prate But chieflie why amongst you nowe I come Is to knowe howe eache wife fares in hir home Howe by hir husband shee is dailie vsd Whether she'es well-entreated or abusd Therefore yf anie of you suffer greife Know 't I am Will and will yeild you releife Be bold to speake I am the wiues delight And euer was and wil be th'usbandes spight I l'e sut as Iudge vppon these wicked men Doe you accuse and I l'e guie sâ—ntence then The old vviues complaynt againste hir younge husband AT which old Crona with hir redd-bleare eys From of the stoole she satt did straytewayes rise And out aloude to Will for iustice cryes Quothe she mysou'raygne Queene 't is not with tongue I able am t'expres my dayelie wronge Three husbandes haue I had two old in truth But they the cropping had of my greene youth In lewe of whith to thin'k on 't nowe I 'me sadd They left me all the goodes and gold they had With Cattell sto'rd-was all my pasture growndes With fyne woold bleating sheepe 〈…〉 downes Crambd'was my barnes my cheste with in 't did hold Manie a Princes picture in puere gold and while they liv'd that thing was wondrous skant That Crona euer did speake-for and want Then in wealthes pleasures I did swymm and floate But out alas that e're old fooles should doate For since theire deathes oh Queene I spea kt ' with ruth Fond-foolish I sett my loue on a youth Making him maister and possessor quite In hope heed ' doe to mee all true
for minde Pride keepes hir faire in eache faire wantons face And Luste keepes in theire 〈…〉 markett place Revengefull Wrath theire furious tongues doth swaie From labor drowsie Sloath their handes doth staie In syns sweete-poysned Iuyce drunken thei le be And Envie others drunken soe to see What see I not in them they are the Inns Wherein doth lodge those monstrous murdring synns Allexander FIe Cynnick thou doste blowe too bitter aire On tender blossoms which are sweetlie faire Diogynes YF shee be faire and a sharpe-witted one And honeste too a Phenix she'es alone Who hath tenn Herculesses strengths in 's loines And with a faire sharpe-witted wanton Ioyns Shall be assurd the horne on 's browe to fynd whoo 'l quench a wantons luste must quench the mind Th' are proude eache wench would bee an Allexander And by hir will ouer a world commaunder But yf not proude nor lustfullie inclind Then eyther foole or scold of hir shalt fynd Eyther of them mans patience soe would alter As they would make him straight make vse at h halter They are all naught I cannot brooke em I â—ould I were Deaâ—e then women all should die Allexander NAie fie Cynnick thou railst too gennerall Thou muste not for some fewe condemn em all Thou talkst as yf thou wert noe womans sonn I would th'adst trauaild but as I haue done Although th' Athenians givn are to theire will And liue a life displeasinge hatefull ill Yet since my travaile wheâ—â— I haue beene Aboundance vertuous 〈◊〉 I haue seene Diogynes OH ya 'r a trauaylier praie are you soe Where you haue beene black swanns you haue seene too Good trauayler the hearinge I will giue you But you shall giue me leaue not to beleeue you Women are naughte I l'e talk noe more with thee And therefore naught because women they bee Allexander OH straung yf Allexander heard but thee For womens sakes I 'me sure thou 'dst punnisht be Diogynes GOe telt ' him goe I doe as little care For him as thee let both doe what you dare Tell me of him I feare him not a flie I dread not might Diogynes am I Hee s but a man I l'e ne're faâ—ne for mans grace What I haue saide I l'e boldlie saye too 's face And wer 't he were as badd as women bee I d'e bite the monnark to his face shouldst see Allexander HE knowes thou wouldst in that I knowe the 〈◊〉 For I am hee for this cause here I came To heare thy wittie bluntnes and to see Whether thy sayings and thy deedes agree Come Cynnick burne this tubb and followe me And vnto noble titles Ilâ—raise thee Diogynes THou wilt but I will not none can raise me I 'me in my tubb as greate a Kinge as thâ—e Who holdes the world and it's vaine trash for flight He truelie conquers it giue him his right And soe doe I therefore hudge Allexander I hold my selfe at h twaine the greatst commaunder I will not begg to rule and governe landes Onelie thy absence I le begg at thy handes I prethee pack thee hence and gett thee gone The companie still is best where is but one Goe seeke thee out an other world to wynn And putt the women of this world therein But let that world be farr enough and then Learning and virtue will encrease with men Naught else I haue to begg graunt but this suite Then henceforth euer shall my tongue rest mute FINIS YOu choyceste creatures you which god did take From-out mans selfmans comforter to make Discomfort not your selues nor be dismayd At what a dogged Cynnick here hath sayde What though sowre-churlishe-he too currish blynde Hath barkt too broadlye gainste your gentle kind Yet little doth such clouds keepe from our sights Your shynninge virtues this worldes splendanntst lights Happlye his gally veâ—aym'd speech proceeds As grounded byself-doyinge divelishe deedes Dead is the dogg I hope and for your sex The spirritts doth his spirritt hottlye vex Excuse my worke it paintes the Cynnick forth And to the wise it nothinge staines your worth FINIS A MORRALL SATIRE Intituled the Owles araygnement WHen fowles could talke with reason like to men This accydent amongst em happend then Before the Prince of fowles the Owle was brought To aunswere why she did things lawles naught Her adversaries were the batt the thrush With others moe who night ' lie in the bush Shee ey her scard with skreeking fearefull cryes Or sodeynlie ere wake did them surprize Wherefore they apprehending hir did craue That they against hir might iuste Iustice haue Greate Prince quoth they to death put thou this Owle She is a vildlie living wicked fowle Vnfitt to liue all daie shee sleepes a nightes Smale birds shee kills the best and greatst she frights Breaking our quiet sleepe with the fell noyse Of manlike lure and yauling-whooping voice And therefore sou'raigne Prince wee all doe craue Since shee deserveth death death she maie haue The Eagle sternlie mild putt them a side Commaunding silens thus the Eagle cryd Come forward Owle and free thy hart from feare Speake freelie bird true iustice I doe here Before my sword of iustice Death doth strike Th' accuser and th' accusd I heare alike Bribes nor affection maks my cleare eys blind And therefore freelie feareles speak thy mind When th'owle did heare this mild speach of hir Lord Couradg shee tooke in gesture and in word Chearing hir selfe shee thus tooth Eagle cryes Impartiall iustice comes from Maiesties And since your highnes doth thus daine to heare My cause your selfe my cause I little feare For what need I quoth shee dread anie thing Being my cause is heard before my King Let murdrers quake when Iustice shakes hir rodd The Iust nere feares the Iudgment of Iust god Noe more will I since freelie plead I must In guiltles cause before a King soe iust Two accusations are against me â—ayde To be a murdrer is the first I 'me sayde The second is that I in sylent night With manlike voice smale birds and fowles afright Greate Prince I both confes but firste I le showe The cause and reason which makes me skreek soe A nightes I hollowing whoop and wondring crye But gratious Prince this is the reason why In eache place I doe see proude Babells built With cloude-braving turretts daubd-o're with guâ—â—t With in those Babells I doe peepe to spie The princelie presence of your maiestie But when in steed of you on bedd of strawe I see that tatling bird the Iack-adawe With admiration then awaie I flie Then lo ho ho then wo ho ho crye I. Sometimes I daringlie presume to peepe With in your Court when all your courtyers sleepe Where when I see the prating parratt grac'd And birdes of better worth for him displac'd Or when I see the plumy peacocks pride To striue to lie by 's sou'raigne Princes side And se the valiant Cock with swaines to liue That sight much wonder to my eyes doth giue With admiration then awaie I flie