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A14612 The contrition of a Protestant preacher, converted to be a Catholiqve scholler conteyning certayne meditations vpon the fourth penitentiall psalme, Miserere / composed by Iames Waddesworth, Bachlour of Diuinitie in the Vniversity of Cambridge, & late parson of Cotton, and of Great-Thorneham in the County of Suffolke, who went into Spaine with the Kinges Maiesties first Embassadour-Legier, as his chaplayne ... Wadsworth, James, 1572?-1623. 1615 (1615) STC 24924.5; ESTC S2953 166,461 144

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fall they may be raysed and they who are admitted into secret grace ought allso to praye that from so dangerous a fall they may be preserued And in particuler thou o my soule must acknowledge thy selfe vnworthy of those graces which thou haste receiued which if they be small in comparison of those which our lord can giue or others doo receiue yet are they many and great and more then any way thou diddest deserue Or how can the sunne send much lighte or plenty of beames into a howse which hath but small windowes O my soule if thou desire more lighte set open all thy windowes O holy spirite of truth● and secret wisdome shyne yet more into my harte to shew me all necessary truthe which thou doost loue and still to manifest vnto me the secret doubtfull thinges of thy wisdome 8. O let me see and consider how great mercyes I haue receiued that I may be thākfull how I did merite nothing or rather how much I did demerite that I may be humble and how vnprofitably I doo vse them that I may be ashamed I fled from catholique truthe which thou louest and yet thou diddest so loue me that thou diddest make me loue thy catholique truth which I declined now I loue this truthe which hath giuen me knowledge of thee and how am I bound to loue thee who diddest bring me to this knowledge of truthe O what sweete secrets be in this loue they are doubtfull to such as neuer tasted them because secret and to such they are secret because they loue not thee who doost manifest the secrets of they wisdome to none but such as doo embrace the truthe which thou doost loue This is thy wisdome not to caste spirituall pearles before ea●thly swyne nor to hide thy heauenty treasures from weake sucklinges or simple harted soules 9. But how shall I prayse thy goodnes o lord and in particuler to my selfe In the gospell it is said thou wouldest not suffer diuells to enter into swyne but with me thou haste cast diuells out of a swyne Doo I debase my selfe to say so Beholde o lorde thou louest truthe I knowe no swyne so filthy and so degenerate from his kinde as I was being a Protestante from they truthe If S. Mary Magdalene had seauen diuells of vices how many had I of heresyes Vnto her many sinnes were forgiuen because she loued much O lord I haue loued but a little how many sinnes hast thou forgiuen me thy wisdome hath reuealed my doubtes and manifested vnto me thy secrets I fondly doubted where was no cause of doubte but I am resolued by thy wisdome I was compassed with lighte and yet I did not discerne lighte because I wanted harty loue vnto thy catholique truthe For I firste loued not thee but thou diddest preuent me with thy loue prosecute me with thy grace and so finally diddest imparte vnto me the secrets of thy wisdome which are the mysteryes of thy catholique faith which now I doo beleeue thou haste not dealte thus with euery sinner nor vnto thousandes better then my selfe hast thou manifested as vnto me the secret and doubtfull thinges of thy wisdome 10. O infinite incomprehensible bounty what did thy majesty beholde in my basenes nothing verely but thine owne loue wherwith thou haddest disposed prepared my harte to be vnpartiallie desirous of truthe this desire and this loue thou diddest first giue me afterwarde by these thou diddest draw me nearer vnto thee O swete Iesu who doost neither accepte nor rewarde any thing which thy selfe haste not first giuen thou haste giuen me loue of truthe and manifested vnto me the doubtfull secret thinges of thy wisdome I doe enterteyne them as pledges earnest pence of m● hope election o let me so keepe and euer reteyne them that I may neuer be ashamed nor confounded in them Let them be meanes of thy better seruice and no way occasions of my greater condemnacion I haue tasted of thy loue I am acquaynted with thy secrets I am partaker of thy mysteryes let me rather dye then fayle or be faynte-harted and sooner torne in peices then become ingratefull I was most vnworthy to receiue them and seing of meere mercy thou hast bestowed these talentes vpon me I desire to retaine them with much thankefullnes and throughe thy grace with some gaynes of merite O blessed Sauiour accepte what thou haste giuen O holy virgin and all the Angells and Sayntes of heauen giue continuall thankes prayse vnto our lord God for me who am not able to thinke much lesse to declare how I owe my selfe MEDITAT●ON VI. Asperges me Domine hysopo mundabor lauabis me super niuem dealbabor Auditui meo dabis gaudium laetitiam exultabunt ossa humiliata Thou shalte sprinkle me with hysope o lord and I shal be cleansed thou shalte washe me I shal be made white aboue snowe Vnto my hearing thou wilte giue ioye gladnes and my humbled bones shall reioyce THE VSE OF CEREMONYES DECLARED by a picture and the propertyes of hysope whervnto they maybe alluded Sect. 1. 1. THe priestes of Moyses lawe doo purifye by sprinkling of bloud with hysope and so they cleansed in a type or figure 1. such as must eat the paschall lambe 2. such as were defiled by touching the dead 3 such as were infected with leprosy 4. or those who being penitent did offer sacrifice for their sinnes O Lorde as one who haue neede of all these I looke not so much to the outwarde Ceremonyes as I hope to be partaker of thy inwarde grace by the bloud of that paschal lambe who is allso a sacrifice for the pollution sinne of all the worlde 2. In this actuall sprinkling of hysope and clensing application of our Sauiours merites and of his death and passion we doo liue we doo bleeue we doo hope we doo merite we doo labor worke our saluation with feare trembling and not as Protestantes te●ch by only faith and so with presumptuous beleeuing 3. Let others therfore be content alone with colors of imputation our soules desire to be allso innocent in substance We respecte not so much the outward figure of hysope as the inward vertue of our deare Sauiours deare bloud Types and ceremonyes are excellent ordinances yet we doo lifte vp our mindes highe● and by occasion of these we doo more often remember more deuoutly apprehend the truthes which they doo signifye Some paynted Tables are so cutte paynted that one way they resemble a beautifull face another way a deathes head and a certeyn artificiall workeman made such a like picture of Moyses brasen serpent hauing vnde● it a multitude of Israelites looking vpwarde to be cured of the stinging of fiery serpentes and aboue it he placed a looking glasse in such a situation that when he opened or drew a curtayne hanging before the said picture which thoughe whiles it was couered you saw nothing in the glasse and thoughe
we may be free from all these neither partaking in passion nor for opinion consulting with flesh and bloudde but hauing power giuen to be made sonnes so be borne of God let vs proceede with Dauid earnestly to repeate the name which we loue and to shew the strong desire of our petition by a zealous and vehement repetition Deus Deus salutis meae O God O God of my saluation SOME SHORTE PETITIONS DIRECTED vnto the name Goodnes of God Sect. 2. 1. O God O God of my saluation Some interprete this worde God in greeke to signifye one who beholdeth or one who runneth He seeth our saluation in his foreknowledge and in his exceding loue he runneth spedily to performe all our redemption O God looke vpon vs O God runne vnto vs. Beholde vs for our saluation and hasten vnto vs in our redemption See vs allso in thy foreknowledge of our redemption o God O God come running vnto vs in thy loue of our saluation Furthermore because we hau● neede to be saued and sanctifyed in the knowledge of our vnderstanding and in the affections of our will therfore allso bring vs saluation of vnderstanding to see thee and knowe thee O God· O God hasten vs by willing affection to runne vnto the and to loue thy saluation as in another p●alme it is said Thou arte my illumination and my saluation viz vnto my will saluation and illumination to my vnderstanding Therfore o God so looke vpon me that I may allso see thee being rightly illuminated O God so runne vnto me that I may come vnto thee being deuoutly affected 2. O God the Author o God mediator of my saluation O infinite Deity O mercifull humanity of my Redeemer O Iesus who arte God! O Christe who arte man O Emmanuel who arte God with vs men O sōne of man because thou tookest māhood of a blessed pure Virgin O sonne of God! because thou arte God of God and the eternall substance of the eternall Father O God which arte man O man who arte God! Thou hast auowed of thy selfe I am the saluation of the people working our saluation by suffring as man and accomplishing our saluation by ouercoming as God o deliuer vs from blouddes by the bloud of thy saluation It is a worke of great power to deliuer me from my sinfull corruption of blouddes O God O God it is a fauour of much mercy to shed thine owne bloud for my saluation O God deliuer me from those blouddes for only the power of God can worke it O God grante me saluation in thy bloud for only the mercy of God will accomplish it deliuer and cleanse me from my abhominable corruption of humane bloud by the inestimable preciousnes of diuine bloud this I doo accompte desire as a mysterye of God and a mercy of God for my admirable saluation Deliuer me from blouddes O God O God of my saluation WE DOO REIOYCE OVR LORDES iustice by trusting in his promises or by acknowledging of his mercy which forgiueth the offendour and yet fullfilleth iustice Sect. 3. 1. ANd my tongue shall rejoyce thy iustice O lorde thou wilte open my lippes and my mouthe shall declare thy prayse Saint Gregory saith that the iustice of God is faith in his true religion and we doo reioyce his iustice when we resiste or forsake heresy for Gods cause neither coueting the aduancements or aboundances of this worlde nor fearing his disgustes or pouerity for it is better to liue depending vpon the worde and promises of God in a patient firme hope then to relye vpon the best vncerteintyes of all this worlde in any present possession For without true catholique faith it is impossible to please God and by this faith a iuste man shall liue First spiritually reioycing more that he is a poore member of the Catholique Churche then if he were a mighty riche Prince in heresye and secondly for his body and for his necessityes praying trusting vnto him whose most fatherly prouidence feedeth the Birdes of the ayre and clotheth the lillyes of the feilde and with whom if there be prouision for sparrowes there is more for men and as he hath done good to our soules so he will not neglecte our bodyes 2. O my soule for thy life kepe euer this confidence on him and so reioyce on his fatherly iustice for if we aske him bread he will not giue vs a stone But especially let vs reioyce in his iustice for hauing deliuered vs from the lothsome blouddes of our sinne and broughte vs to the knowledge of his truthe into the estate of iustice of iustification by his grace Allso with men it semes iustice to reuenge an iniury and to free a malefactor is accounted iniustice neither will the rigor of mans sentence be satifyed thoughe an hundred others woulde giue their liues for one offendor cōdemned but the party who is guilty must be executed therfore o lord we will rei●yce in thy iustice which is appeased by the death of thy only sonne to make him a Sauiour of life for millions of slaues this thy iustice doth both free and aduance heynous offendors this thy iustice doth release any iniury and pardon any penitent malefactor Thy mercy hath propounded promised all this and this thy iustice doth performe ALL THE WORDES OF OVR MOVTH should proceede from God and agayne be referred vnto God Sect. 4. 1. O Lord thou wilte open my lippes and my mouthe shall● declare thy prayse Excepte thou O Lorde doo open my lippes excepte thou doo giue me this grace neither can my tongue reioyce nor my mouthe declare thy prayse It is not you which speake said our Sauiour but the spirite of ●y father which is in you therfore with Dauid I will harken what our Lorde speaketh within me andso by his assistance in mine owne comforte for his honor I will exercise all the instrumentes of my voyce my tongue my lippes and my mouthe My tongue shall frame wordes my lippes shall grace their soundes and my mouthe shall pronounce their full sense to reioyce in his iustice to declare his prayse 2. The wise man said It is thou o lord who doost shut vp the mouthes of the proud and makest the tongues of infantes to become eloquent If we open our mouthes of our selues we eyther speake vainly or falsely and sometime we ioyne thē both together speaking falsely to obteyne vainglory wheras if thou O God diddest open our lippes If we did directe our speeche to thy honor we shoulde euer haue truthe in our tongue and thy prayse in our harte It is conuenient alwayes to remēber that saying Quis Cui Quid Quare tu dicas fac saepe requiras Who to whom what wherfore thou arte about to speake firste doo thou examine thy selfe If I be to teach O Lord open my lippes that it may be to profite soules not to set out my selfe not insisting in persuasible wordes of humane wisedome